You’re probably in a cult. You just don’t know it yet.
In The Culting of America, cult survivor, military veteran, and bestselling author of Uncultured Daniella Mestyanek Young delivers a gripping investigation into the invisible systems of control shaping our lives. Raised in the notorious sex cult the Children of God, she escaped to America as a teenager—only to find herself inside another rigid institution: the U.S. Army. Years later, as a Harvard-trained expert in organizational psychology, she began asking a dangerous question:
What if we’re all in cults—and America is built to keep us there?
Blending personal narrative, cultural critique, and deep research, Young—together with award-winning author Amy Reed—introduces the cultiness spectrum: a ten-part framework that reveals how coercive group dynamics show up in spaces we trust, from religious groups and wellness brands to corporate offices, fandoms, political movements, and beyond.
You’ll never look at group loyalty the same way again.
From the glamorized world of Playboy to the mission-driven violence of the military, from influencer culture to partisan politics, The Culting of America reveals how cultish behavior isn’t just thriving in modern life—it’s hiding in plain sight, woven deep into the fabric of American identity.
With sharp insight, dark humor, and unflinching honesty, The Culting of America is both a wake-up call and a survival guide. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt uneasy in a group they believed in, who’s begun to question the cost of belonging, or who’s ready to take back their autonomy—without losing their place in the world.
Whether you’re part of a church, company, fandom, or political movement, the question isn’t if you’re in a cult. It’s how much of yourself you’ve already lost.
This is a very important topic. Unfortunately, the author did not seem to see the necessity of sharing stories of cultish tendencies from the left and almost exclusively focused on problematic stories on the right. A balanced telling would have made this book so much more useful in allowing everyone to see where they may be leaning into the trap. Instead, I think most people will just come away angry at the "other side" - either angry at the author for leaning left or angry about all the negative things she quotes about the right. I am not saying that she is wrong. I am saying she should have written a more objective book.
So, if you are on the right, read this and listen to understand. If you are on the left, realize that these things are happening in your camp, too, and maybe even in you. We are all naturally vulnerable. As the author notes, we all have the capability of falling unthinkingly into high-control groups that seem to give us the community, the purpose, the answers, the worth, the sense of superiority, etc. that we are looking for.
(It was difficult to listen to this audio book. The author reads robotically. I had to stop sometimes just to give my ears a break. A professional narrator would have been a better choice.)
Notes:
Four Types of Seekers: 1. The Revenge Seeker - diffusely frustrated and angry and wants to discharge that frustration or anger towards some person, group, or entity seen as being at fault 2. The Status Seeker - wants recognition and esteem from others 3. The Identity Seeker - is compelled by a need to belong and be part of something meaningful, wants to define a sense of self through group affiliation 4. The Thrill Seeker - is attracted to the group because of the prospect for excitement, adventure, and glory
Looking for the Same Intensity Elsewhere: When a person leaves one cult they often find themselves seeking that same intensity and sense of mission, purpose, and community elsewhere, only to land in another group that demands the same level of conformity. And when your identity is being defined for you, that's when you're most vulnerable to being radicalized.
Adolescent Vulnerability: The main and most important developmental tasks for adolescents are to solve the identity vs role confusion crisis, construct their own unique sense of identity, and find the social environment where they can belong and create meaningful relationships with other people. Extremist ideologies are particularly good at offering that sense of identity and community, which is why they're so effective at recruiting young people.
Sacrifice: Sacrificing for a group isn't all bad, of course. It fosters solidarity, cooperation, and shared purpose which enables efficiency and mutual support. But when exploited, group loyalty harms mental health and human development.
8 Symptoms of Group Think: 1. Perceived invulnerability 2. Rationalization and denial 3. Moral justification 4. Stereotyped views of others and/or enemies 5. Silencing dissent 6. Internal suppression 7. False consensus 8. Self-designated "mind guards"
The Existential Cost of Leaving: Perhaps the largest psychological cost of leaving a high control environment is figuring out who you are without the group. When every aspect of your life - what you believe, how you dress, who you love - has been dictated for you, walking away means dismantling the scaffolding of your identity.... Prolonged exposure to such coercive environments can lead to complex psychological distress known as religious trauma syndrome. Symptoms include confusion, anxiety, depression, and difficulty with decision making, all of which make it even harder for individuals to distance themselves from the group and recover their autonomy.
Losing Certainty and Meaning: Leaving a religion means giving up beliefs, but moreover you're losing certainty. The framework that once gave your life meaning and direction is unraveling. Without it you're in free fall. You feel guilt, shame, and the slow sting of exile from a community that once embraced you. And then there's the grief, because, even if you know that leaving is necessary, you are still mourning a version of yourself that once found comfort in faith, in ritual, in belonging. The hardest part often isn't always the walking away; it's figuring out who you are on the other side. The psychological toll of this deconstruction can mirror the symptoms of PTSD because, when your worldview and community vanish overnight, your nervous system doesn't know the difference between emotional exile and physical danger.
We Are All at Risk: We are seeing cult-like movements reemerge across American life much like they did during the political and cultural turmoil of the 1960s. Modern spaces, from gyms to coaching seminars, capitalize on the need for belonging and clarity in a confusing world. Wherever there's uncertainty, there's someone promising clarity. Wherever there's disconnection, someone is selling belonging. Methods of coercion are startlingly adaptable because the human needs they exploit are universal. Because that's the thing about extremism. Binary thinking feels good. It's clean. It's simple. It tells you who you are, what you believe, and who your people are. It tells you who to trust and who to hate. But nuance is harder. Questioning is harder. Yet that discomfort is where truth lives.
Looking Inward: They don't just manipulate people. They meet them where they're most vulnerable. So the real question is not, "How could they believe that?" It's, "Where does that same logic live in me?" Extremism works because it's comforting. It makes complexity disappear. It gives you certainty.
Finding the Way Out: The real victory isn't just in walking away. It's learning to live in the whole beautiful, confusing spectrum between binaries. It's in rebuilding a life where questioning is safe, where doubt is allowed, and where complexity is welcomed instead of feared. That's where healing begins. Extremism shows us what happens when we cling to certainty and belonging at the cost of truth, but it also illuminates what's possible when people begin to wake up. There's no single answer, no perfect system, no utopia. But there is this: the ability to think for ourselves, to choose complexity over simplicity, and to keep walking together toward something more human. And that, maybe, is the real story - not how people get trapped, but how they find their way out.
Affinity Groups vs. Cults: Affinity groups based on shared identities support individual expression and empower their members. They allow disagreement and evolution. Cults, by contrast, demand conformity, suppress dissent, and often punish departure with social, emotional, and financial consequences.
10 Ways to Tell if Your Group is Trending Culty: 1. Leadership and Authority - The group is built around a singular founder, guru, or leader who is treated as extraordinary or divinely inspired. The leader's words are taken as truth, even when they contradict themselves. Dissenters are discredited, dismissed, or exiled. You find yourself defending a leader's actions you once would have questioned. The danger of charismatic leadership is that people will follow without question, not just because they agree, but because they want to believe. 2. Sacred Assumptions - Your group has a belief you must accept without question in order to belong. Alternative perspective are dismissed as dangerous, ignorant, or unenlightened. Mantras, quotes, or origin myths are repeated until they become unchallengeable truths. The sacred assumption, the one thing you must believe to be a member in good standing, becomes a lens through which members see everything. 3. Transcendent Mission - The mission is so urgent or righteous that it justifies extreme sacrifice. Members are encouraged to suppress doubts for the sake of the cause. The mission feels like the only thing that gives your life meaning. When everything is about saving lives or changing the world, there's no room left for your own needs or doubts. 4. Self-Sacrifice - You are expected, or you feel pressured, even subtly, to change significant aspects of your appearance, personality, or other parts of your identity in order to fit in. Exhaustion, burnout, or overwork are celebrated as proof of devotion. You feel guilty when you put your interests, hobbies, family, or other things that feed your soul before the group. Exhaustion becomes proof. Sacrifice becomes moral currency. And what begins as devotion becomes identity. 5. Isolation - Your world has shrunk since you joined the group. You feel misunderstood by those outside or avoid people who "don't get it". Outside perspectives are dismissed as negative or unsafe. It doesn't take walls or gates to isolate people. All it takes is a shared narrative that the outside world is dangerous, wrong, or not worth your time. 6. Language- and Thought-Control - The group uses special jargon that outsiders wouldn't understand. Dissenting opinions are reframed as negativity weakness or sin. You find it hard to describe your experience without using the group's words. Language becomes the border wall of belief. Once you're speaking their words, you're thinking their thoughts. 7. Us vs. Them Mentality - Members are told they are more enlightened, chosen, or awakened than outsiders. People who leave the group are described as broken, bitter, or lost. Disagreement is treated as blasphemy. What starts as a tight-knit community can quickly consume your identity by demanding loyalty and framing outsiders as a threat. 8. Exploitation of Labor - You are expected to give more than you receive - your time, body, or energy. Unpaid labor, volunteering, or constant work are reframed as spiritual practice or community service. Rest and boundaries are treated as selfishness. Cults are organized crime syndicates that run on free labor. They recruit, they indoctrinate, and they extract. 9. High Entrance and Exit Costs - You have sacrificed money, relationships, or identity to join or stay. Walking away feels like betraying something sacred or like starting over from scratch. Your doubts are minimized by reminders of everything you'd lose if you left. The second rule of cults is that the cult will forgive any sin except the sin of leaving. 10. Ends Justify the Means - Harm is tolerated or justified in pursuit of the groups goals. Lies are reframed as strategy. Dissent is reframed as heresy. The group measures success in devotion, not ethics. This is how lying becomes holy, deception becomes virtue, and the first compromises of integrity are cloaked in righteousness.
Here is the book on cults we didn’t know we needed. As someone who also grew up in The Children of God cult and gone through my own deprogramming process, I’ve often been met with skepticism when trying to explain to others why a group may be moving into cultic behavior.
Well, thanks to Daniella, I can now just refer people to this book instead.
So many of the book’s chapters stood out to me as a cult survivor but also things I know others can relate to, such as losing your identity for the greater good, putting what’s better for the group ahead of yourself and the learned “honor” of self sacrifice.
The nuances of social media were also addressed, as we can get into an echo chamber of information suppression based on our algorithms. Daniella summed it up perfectly when she said, “Social media’s echo chambers are like escape rooms for the digital age, and the algorithms running our feeds are the ones locking the doors.” Indeed we all are victims of this, whether we wish to be or not.
Another important factor was when she touched on the dangers of not just disagreeing with someone but actively disliking them and considering them dangerous just because they’re on “the other side”. This has never been so true as in these days, where people will actively vilify a person simply for a different point of view (and then refuse to have an actual conversation).
Addressing child labor and free labor In chapter 8 was especially important. Many see free labor as a badge of honor when really they are unaware that they are being taken advantage of. As Daniella puts it, “History has shown us that cults always start off with a shared mission, a feeling of righteousness and us versus them worldview.” From there, people can be convinced that the only way to push that message is to provide your free labor, and unfortunately, many times your child’s free labor as well.
And lastly, the most important part (and something I mention to people all the time), is that many people think they are immune to extremism. To this day people often say “I can’t imagine joining a cult!” And then I have the uncomfortable conversation with them to take a look at their friend groups, Political affiliations, and yes, even their workout groups.
I think Daniella put it best when she said, “Extremism actually begins with something much quieter: a longing to belong, a desire for clarity, a need to feel safe in an overwhelming world. The same psychological forces that bind people to cults—fear, isolation, identity, us-versus-them—exist in the mainstream.” And this is what people need to learn to be aware of.
These days cults are rarely communities of 200 people hiding in the mountains like they were when I was a kid in the The Children of God cult in the 80s and 90s. It’s the groups that take advantage of people when they are in a vulnerable spot. When they encourage extremism and declare that their mission and us vs them worldview is the only way forward in this life.
For those of us who’ve lived through cults and for those who think they never could, this book is a mirror and a map. A mirror that shows how we’re all vulnerable, and a map that shows how we can choose differently. Daniella’s work (and impeccable research) is a gift to anyone who wants to understand, heal, and stay free.
Thanks to NetGalley and Otterpine for the eARC in exchange for an honest review!
I didn't find much new to me in this book, but I do think it's a really great intro to cults, and the author does have some interesting thoughts on some groups that have culty tendencies that I hadn't really thought about (like the Girl Scouts!).
I did find each chapter a bit repetitive throughout, and I wish the intro had talked about the different chapters in order. I found a couple of contradictions throughout (for instance, charisma is important, but it's not charisma that draws people in, it's the mission). I found the author's mention (and downplay) of Aaron Bushnell really distasteful.
HOWEVER, the checklist chapter at the end was really helpful, and I think this book will open readers eyes to how culty some organizations are: the US military, the Salvation Army, the Girl Scouts, Elon and his takeover of Twitter, Trump, etc. I also LOVED the discussion of labor culture and work as cults, as well as the discussion of MLMs.
What I learned: Anything and everything is a cult.
I was hoping the authors would go heavy on the "Why we love them". I'd like to think our society now is more cognizant of cults based on the endless documentaries, articles, and books that came out about cults in general, and specific ones. Outside of language, conditioning, and other tactics employed by cult leaders, why are we still falling for it? <<< this is my burning question when I started this and wasn't finding a satisfying answer for myself.
The first half or so of this book is really interesting and thought-provoking. I particularly liked the comparison of various groups that operate on volunteer hours to more obvious cults. The discussion of Swifties is interesting as well. Not sure if I agree with all of it, but it's worth thinking about. The middle to end of the book gets rather repetitive, though, and I don't know if it came to a good conclusion. The first half is worth the read, definitely, though at a certain point I probably could have set it aside and not finished.
What a fantastic book! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. A fascinating insight into cults from someone who is intimately familiar with their makings, a deep dive on how they ensnare and entrap, loved it. I have previously read Cultish (referenced multiple times within) and found this to well and truly enhance rather than repeat. It’s already been recommended to multiple friends and they’re eager for their chance to read come publishing date. Thank you to NetGalley, Daniella Mestyanek Young & Amy Reed for the opportunity & ARC.
Many thanks to Otterpine and NetGalley for providing me with an advanced copy of The Culting of America: What Makes a Cult and Why We Love Them by Daniella Mestyanek Young and Amy Reed. I’ve noticed more and more books focusing on cults, examining them from different perspectives. Not just the lurid, true crime or primarily academic type books that seemed to analyze some of the more notorious cults from the past 50 years or so (The Manson Family, The People’s Temple); rather books like Amanda Montel’s Cultish (which Mestyanek Young and Reed frequently reference) and Jane Borden’s Cults Like Us take a more nuanced approach to examining the issues of cults and how many groups and institutions in our lives closely mimic cults. Borden’s book argues that America’s founding was itself based on the cult of the Protestant Ethic, among other religious beliefs that have gradually become part of many American’s identities. Mestyanek and Reed make similar claims while developing their own aspects of group dynamics, drawn from research and scholarship, to investigate and examine the practices of various groups and institutions. As the authors acknowledge, its sometimes hard to determine what a cult is, and with Mestayanek’s own personal experiences growing up in a destructive religious cult and serving in the US Army, she identifies elements of these group dynamics in both. Furthermore, I appreciated their advice to readers to move beyond binaries, looking at whether a group is a cult or not, or thinking about good or bad outcomes, with a call to think about the complexities of belonging and more importantly leaving these groups. What costs might members entail with exiting the group, whether they are social, financial, or professional. Also like Borden’s book, Mestyanek and Reed also reference the more recent political and social events in America to examine how instability, lack of connections and relationships, and mistrust and resentment can fuel the rise of cults as a means of filling a void for these connections and beliefs. Both Mestyanek and Reed use real world examples from well-known cults, institutions and groups, as well as lesser-known examples, to highlight and identify the ways these groups align with their group dynamics. Furthermore, both authors include their own personal examples of participation with cults, institutions and groups to provide further evidence of the seeming benefits and potential drawbacks of membership within these groups. I also appreciated how the authors make use of both scholarly sources and more popular literature like Montell’s book, as well as other first-hand accounts from cult survivors and escapees. It lends a sense of authority and expertise, while also making the content relevant and accessible to a general audience. Furthermore, despite a rather dark and tragic topic, the authors use humor and sarcasm at appropriate times to lighten the mood. The book is filled with many relevant examples that help to highlight the specific practices of these groups and institutions to attract and sustain members. I think it is interesting to see how fine a line the nature of members is for some of these groups like the military and Alcoholics Anonymous, groups which typically are held in high esteem, but also display elements of cult-type membership and potential high-costs for members leaving. I can also understand the pushback that the authors received, but I think they are raising important points about the nature of the groups and their attempts to sustain members, not necessarily arguing that they are inherently bad. However, in reading these examples, we can see how others may misuse or misconstrue some of the elements of these groups to make false promises or to build on more familiar institutions to attract followers and those who are in need of some kind of change or future goal. In particular, Chapter 6, “Distinguishable Vernacular,” was one of the more fascinating sections since it deals with the language of cults and groups. While this was the focus of Montel’s book, Mestyanek and Reed examine some different examples and show how shared language can alter our sense of identity and belief, creating a unique bond among members. I think this is true of almost any group, whether it is a friend group who shares specific slang or a work group that may use specific acronyms and terms to define and solve problems in the field. I know that whenever I’ve started a new job, acclimating to new language, specifically to acronyms, takes almost as much work as learning software or systems. Mestyanek and Reed examine how often the beliefs that groups adhere to can often spiral into extremism, and how technology like social media and the internet can accelerate belief to action through disinformation and isolation. Mestyanek provides an example from her ex-husband’s radicalization, along with reminders of Q-Anon and the January 6th Insurrection to further show how seemingly regular people, our neighbors, community members, and friends can all be susceptible to the tricks and deceptive practices of cult leaders. However, this book provides an awareness of these practices, along with some useful checklists and references to “culty things.” I think, though, that one of the most important takeaways in the book is reframing our thinking around cults, shifting from binary, either/or thinking, to examining ideas of membership and belonging in a more complex and holistic manner. In one of the final sections written by guest author Rebecca Slue, also known as The White Woman Whisperer, “The distinction between ‘group’ and ‘community’ is a matter of foundational values and relational truth. Groups are built to be functional, often around a cause, a mission, or a leader.” This last section was also incredibly important in not only reaffirming our sense of belonging to communities and not just groups but also affirming our sense of agency in seeking out these communities and ensuring that they remain communal and democratic. While sharing decision making and responsibilities (and accountability) can be time consuming and tiring, it is essential for the health of the community to involve all. Although frequent references to more notorious groups and cults are found in this book, the authors also frequently reference how more and more work situations can become cult-like, blurring the boundaries between work and belonging. Furthermore, they note how some careers are considered a calling and offer members a strong sense of identity and belonging. While I feel grateful to have a career where I don’t necessarily experience that level of creeping cultiness, I have had jobs where there has been that kind of pressure to work outside of proscribed hours, and I feel like this book offers an important message to many people, not just those interested in cults, psychology, or current events. Rather this book has important insights and ideas about belonging, community, and working, and shares these ideas with research and anecdotes, making the ideas and insights more accessible and understandable. Highly recommended.
American culture has been baked into our society our very laws and ground by which we run the country for centuries. This book dissects the very facets of America and examines the cult like mentality of them.
I learned so much reading this book. I know about cults and often find myself quite fascinated by them. They exist outside the bounds of logical thinking. They require you to suspend the belief of your eyes and ears. Cults are so terrifying to me. Throughout this book I learned so much more about cults. What makes a cult tick, why people join cults. Then through those ideas the book delves into cultural components, religion, politics, and even terrorism. It's eye opening to understand so much of our everyday life is founded with cult tactics (hustle culture, politics, fandoms, corporations). There are even some things that while using cult tendencies overall can create more good than harm (AA).
I have been thinking a lot lately specifically about the MAGA movement and how so many people (especially lately) can so easily deny what their very eyes witness in favor of what they believe to be the fate of America. I have long thought that the MAGA movement appeared very cult like. It was fascinating to see it dissected in this book. It expanded so much more on what I already believed.
As I stated from reading this book I see how many manipulative tactics are baked into American society. How cult like thinking is used to drive society to stay on a certain path. It was very informative and eye opening.
I did however have a few qualms with this book. It is very information heavy. Which I think can be great, but I also think would benefit greatly from breaks. There were many paragraphs where books would be referenced one after the other and it felt less like a cohesive idea and more like I was reading a college essay. I certainly enjoyed some of the references to other ideas and people. I think it would've been great, however, to bake those ideas and individuals more into the book without entirely disrupting from the flow of the novel.
Overall I found this to be very informative and engaging. I just wish it didn't feel at times mentally taxing. I am super interested in the author (I follow her on TikTok). I definitely would like to pick up her memoir in the future and I am very intrigued by her novel on cults and the US Army.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an arc in exchange for my honest feedback.
Daniella Mestyanek Young's "The Culting of America" offers something rare: a precise diagnostic tool for recognizing how control systems operate, not just in obvious places, but embedded within our most trusted institutions.
Young's Cultiness Spectrum, a ten-criterion framework, cuts through denial. Charismatic leadership, ideological indoctrination, isolation, exploitation, high exit costs. She shows how these appear not just in religious cults, but in the military, corporate structures, wellness culture, and the art world itself.
What struck me most is how the book validates what survivors know: that cultic dynamics aren't fringe phenomena. They're systemic. And institutions protect them. I came to this book as someone with direct experience in a high-control community (the Otto Muehl/AAO commune in Austria). Reading Young's framework, I found language for what I'd observed for years: how the Austrian art world continues to exhibit and celebrate Muehl's work despite his 1991 conviction for child sexual abuse. Even as survivors and former children of the commune fight for recognition, restitution, and accountability. The art world's defense "separation of artist and work" is precisely what Young identifies as institutional cult-protection: creating good reasons to do harm. What makes this book essential is that it doesn't stop at critique. Young shows that change is possible when institutions are willing to examine their own structures. That's not censorship. That's accountability. Young writes from lived experience, but with scholarly rigor (400+ footnotes). Her analysis spans psychology, organizational behavior, and history. The book is both intellectually serious and deeply human. For cult survivors, therapists, and anyone who suspects their institution might be protecting abusers: this is required reading. For those who wonder how seemingly intelligent people stay trapped in harmful systems. This answers it. As a therapist and survivor of the Muehl-Cult, I found this book invaluable.
made me think a lot about all the places ive worked and the way they are failing at their attempts to be cult like lol but very good book i think i learned much
Wish Young was my best friend. Need more people committed to the truth, educating themselves, and recognizing their own biases in my life. Ended on a more positive note than I thought it would, which gave me a little bit of hope. I hope love will prevail.
“Cults don’t start with mass suicide or pledges to storm the Capitol. They start with small things: a shared belief, an inspiring leader, a feeling of belonging. They start with language—words like awakening, truth, resistance, patriotism. And before long, that language becomes identity, and identity becomes dogma. The most dangerous ideas aren’t shouted—they’re whispered in living rooms, reinforced in group chats and family dinners, slowly absorbed until they feel like common sense…”
The Culting of America dives into the invisible systems of control that shape the lives of Americans. This is a blend of personal narrative, research, and cultural critique that introduces a ten part framework to identifying cultish behavior.
After reading Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism a few months ago, I was really interested in reading this and seeing what Young adds to cultish dynamics and how to identify them. While this took me a while to get through, it wasn’t because it was boring or a slog, but because I was just taking so many notes on the information presented. Young weaves her experiences growing up in the Children of God cult with research on ten different aspects of cult behavior. Her ten steps were very well presented and made total sense, especially once you got the explanation behind it.
“Americans love to worship, whether it’s a pop music star who makes them feel empowered and understood, a CEO who will lead them to abundance, a religious leader who will teach them how to be righteous and give them a ticket to heaven, or a politician who will help them take their country back.”
Young shows how so many groups in America today that are accepted, but can actually be considered cults or have cult-like tendencies. Things like the military, Alcoholics Anonymous, Corporations, and of course, religions. I really agree with all her assessments of these different groups, especially the military being a cult, and it makes me realize why I have been so leery of most of the organizations/institutions she discussed as having cultish behaviors/ are a cult.
“We are— and always have been, since those first religious extremists, the Pilgrims, set foot on American soil— a nation defined by the distrust of institutions, a persecution complex, and stubborn self-righteousness. In many ways, cults are the most American thing there is.”
Young argues that the reason why cults are so prevalent in America is because if we get to the root of American cult experience we find the cults of white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism that everyone has been indoctrinated by. This makes a lot of sense to me and really opened my eyes to how deep cultish behavior is in America.
Overall, I think this was a well presented and well researched look at cults in America and how our system easily creates them, so I highly recommend this book. I also appreciated that this book ends in helpful guides that basically hit on all the main points discussed in this book and provides checklists so you can review the organizations you are a part of.
*ARC provided by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
4.5 stars
Many times I read the news and wonder why people do such unbelievably dumb things. This book asks: in the right circumstances, would it be YOU doing that same dumb shit? The answer is...well...probably. We as humans always want to belong, and many times we will surrender our autonomy for that sense of belonging. This need to belong is so ingrained in us(it's third in Maslow's hierarchy of needs after food and safety) that combined with other factors mentioned in the book--the search for meaning, a fear of the future, a sense of purpose, and an agreeable personality (among others), some culty group can appear, at least at first, to offer exactly what we've been searching for.
The first third of the book details, step by step, how an ordinary person can easily get entangled in a cult. This was exactly why I came to this book for. No one in a cult was looking to join a cult--it's something that happens slowly, until leaving it starts to feel impossible. The explanation made sense to me, how they come in all smiles and hugs, give you a sense of purpose, strip you of your identity, then replace it with theirs. If you leave, you'll have nothing, not even your own sense of self because it's already so intertwined with the cult's.
The next part gets into characteristics of cults and other groups that have cultlike qualities. The usual suspects are here: MLMs, companies like WeWork and Theranos, the whole right-wing movement, Alcoholics Anonymous, the army where the author herself spent years of her life. Your mileage may vary here. I myself have read a lot about those groups already precisely because their cult-like qualities fascinated me, so a lot of things in this section wasn't new to me and felt repetitive. Again, this really depends on what you know about these groups already.
Then there are a couple of chapters about leaving a cult, why it is hard to leave, how hard it is to rebuild. At the end of the book there are cheeky reference guides to cults and culty things, and even a quiz to see if you might be in one yourself.
There was a lot to chew on--I have so many passages highlighted in this book that I was having a truly a tough time deciding what to put in this review. One thing I need to add here though--that chapter on the Skinny White Woman was truly inspired. It's something I've always seen in cults but never consciously recognized until I read it. Every cult leader does have a SWW beside them, don't they?
This book talks about a lot of groups with cult-like qualities, perhaps even a group you are willingly in yourself. The author definitely WILL ruffle some feathers here. But whether you agree with her or not, I think you'll still walk away more aware of how many seemingly innocuous things around us are actually a little culty.
I pre-ordered the book months ago, and it arrived last week. I highly recommend this book!
THE CULTING OF AMERICA offers a compelling and unsettling exploration of cults, examining how they form, why people join them, and the lasting impact they have on individuals and society. Rather than portraying cult members as naïve or irrational, the author approaches the subject with empathy and psychological insight, emphasizing that cults often prey on universal human needs such as belonging, purpose, and certainty.
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its focus on the mechanisms of influence used by cult leaders. Through detailed case studies and historical examples, the author illustrates how techniques like isolation, repetition, love-bombing, fear, and charismatic authority are used to gain and maintain control. These sections are particularly effective because they show that cult manipulation is often gradual and subtle, making it difficult for members to recognize what is happening until they are deeply embedded.
The writing style is clear and accessible, balancing academic research with real-life stories. Personal accounts from former cult members add emotional depth and authenticity, allowing readers to understand the psychological toll of cult involvement. These narratives are often disturbing but necessary, highlighting the long-term consequences of emotional, financial, and sometimes physical abuse. The author avoids sensationalism, choosing instead to let facts and testimonies speak for themselves.
Another notable aspect of the book is its relevance to modern society. The author draws parallels between traditional cults and contemporary movements, including extremist groups, certain self-help organizations, and even aspects of social media culture. This broader perspective encourages readers to think critically about influence and manipulation in everyday life, making the book feel timely and important.
Overall, this book is a thoughtful, well-researched, and deeply human examination of cults. It challenges stereotypes, promotes empathy for survivors, and equips readers with tools to recognize manipulation in many forms. Whether read for academic interest or personal curiosity, it is a valuable and eye-opening work that leaves a lasting impression.
Thank you so much to Daniella, Amy, and the rest of the team behind this book for giving those of us who preordered this book the e-book and audiobook early. I read this so fast, but also tried to really take my time because it is so dense with information in the best way. This book is such a necessary read right now, more than ever, because of the overwhelming amount of information that is able to be presented to us at a rapid rate, and the ability to discern truth from lie becomes harder as AI gets better and regulations are minimal.
I have been following Daniella for a while on TikTok and IG, and reading UnCultured was a devastating but necessary read as well, so once I saw that this book was coming out, along with a workbook, I knew I had to read it. I am so happy that my physical copies have now arrived so I can read the book again but use the workbook this time as I do. This book touches on cults of all varieties - everything from single family cults to infamous cults like Heaven's Gate to more "acceptable" cults like MLMs. It does a great job recognizing its weaknesses - Daniella specifically brings in other voices to help supplement where she cannot talk from a place of understanding as clearly, such as Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and her co-author Amy - and references so many other great resources to get information about cults and ways that we can become involved in high-power control groups without realizing it. I have added so many books to my TBR just based on the references provided in this book.
Is this a fun book? No. Is it a great book? Yes. This book helped me to acknowledge places I have held privilege, been in some cults without fully realizing it, and recognize how some of my minority statuses have helped me from getting sucked in further. This is a necessary read before you start calling everything a cult, as it helps you understand the words you're using so that you don't isolate people who need support in recognizing the controlling situations they are in, and starts to give some practical solutions for deconstruction through the workbook that I cannot wait to start.
The Culting of America is a piercing, unsettling examination of how cult dynamics have migrated from the margins of society into its most trusted institutions. Drawing from lived experience, rigorous research, and organizational psychology, Daniella Mestyanek Young alongside co author Amy Reed redefines what a cult looks like in modern America.
Rather than focusing solely on extremist groups, the book introduces the “cultiness spectrum,” a framework that exposes coercive control, identity erosion, and loyalty extraction across familiar spaces: corporations, political movements, wellness cultures, fandoms, and even the military. The result is a paradigm shift one that challenges readers to reconsider how power operates beneath the language of mission, belonging, and purpose.
Young’s narrative authority is undeniable. As a survivor of the Children of God and a former U.S. Army officer, she brings rare credibility to her analysis of institutional obedience and psychological capture. Reed’s sharp narrative craftsmanship ensures the book remains accessible, urgent, and emotionally resonant without sacrificing intellectual depth.
What distinguishes The Culting of America is its balance of confrontation and clarity. It does not sensationalize cult behavior; it normalizes the discussion of it revealing how systems of control thrive precisely because they masquerade as community, morality, and meaning.
This book is both a cultural diagnosis and a survival guide. It will resonate with readers interested in psychology, politics, religion, organizational behavior, and anyone questioning the hidden costs of belonging in contemporary society.
"The Culting of America" could maybe have saved the USA from its current existential dilemma had it been published in, say, 2005. It is a powerful and detailed examination of how tragically deep cultlike practices have infiltrated into so many of our hallowed modern institutions. This second book of Young's follows up thoroughly on her first, "Uncultured", a compelling and devastating memoir of her direct experiences living in, and escaping from cults.
The book lists some surprising examples of enterprises one would not consider to be cults, yet register as such by rigid control over mostly unsuspecting members. These members are often expected to make unreasonable sacrifices for the groups' "sacred missions". A very useful terminology is built, assisting readers to become more aware of how pervasive "high control" thought manipulation is in our modern tech culture. Honestly, it's slightly terrifying how easily we humans, who absolutely need connection, are drawn into "binarian" constructs, e.g. us versus them. Survival as an economic zero sum game, versus cooperative group effort as we came down from the trees so long ago.
The author is to be commended on her tireless work, publishing these books, and producing content and commentary every day, across the internet, TikTok, YouTube, Substack, etc. She and Heather Cox Richardson are my anchors of sanity. Thank you Daniella!
Thank you so much for the free ARC! (3.5 stars rounded up) Overall, this is a good book. It’s very informative, and exceptionally well researched in almost all respects (my only complaint on the research front is a passing reference to the left and right brain being the creative and logical centers, which is a fairly outdated concept in neuroscience at this point. I know this is sort of inconsequential, but given psychology is my area of specialization, it stood out to me.) my only complaint is that I think it could have significantly better word economy. It’s very informative, and the ideas are very clear, but they are in part very clear because they are often restated in several ways in close succession. This could be by design and done intentionally to maximize the odds that someone really gets it and that it really sticks with them, but I found it to weigh it down a bit and make it a little tougher for me to get through. Nonetheless, I’m glad I read it, and I learned a lot. As someone who works in the anti labor trafficking space, I had (perhaps embarrassingly) never really thought very hard about the relationship between cults and labor trafficking. I suppose it’s easy to overlook when so many cults do far more eye-catchingly heinous crimes, but it’s really made me expand my perspective in a way that I think will vastly improve the efficacy and creativity in my work life.
I was acquainted with Daniella Mestyanek Young as the Knitting Cult Lady on YouTube. I've never had TikTok, but I'm guessing she has an even bigger following there. I love hearing her take on current events. This book is an in-depth look at what defines a cult and how to tell if you are in one. I was hoping for a little advice on how to talk to folks in cults, but hopefully that will be a topic for another book.
Not only is this book well researched and written (the notes and bibliography are extensive), but Daniella herself was raised in a cult. The authors acknowledge that humans need groups, but that they can easily slide from community to control. This book is about how to see when a group crosses that line. We need to be seen and validated, but they ask, "Can I leave without losing myself"? I adored Rebecca Slue's essay on community vs. groups.
Finally, at about 75% came the stuff that I really love. CHECKLISTS. Quick Reference Guides. Bookclub Questions. Heaven.
I find this fascinating. Some may find it dry, but it's important to "sharpen your awareness, so you can feel when something is off". I really do hope that there are plans for some advice on how to help people OUT. In my opinion, that is a crucial need in our current political and social climate.
Thanks to Otterpine and NetGalley for the advanced reading copy of this fascinating book in exchange for my honest review.
A look into the key markers of a cult and how they can be applied to socially acceptable groups that exist today. I’m someone who inhales information about cults, like I’m a big ole whale and cult information is krill. I love opening up this drawer and looking around. Shaking up the old brain. AA is mentioned in the book (a well meaning cult) the military (maybe well meaning? Mostly? At the beginning?) and others share the spotlight in this thought provoking, smoothly written tome (can you tell I used a thesaurus?) speaking of smooth writing, this book is special bc of the author Daniela Mestyanek Young, who defected from god is love(clearly v bad cult) and then joined the military (maybe bad or maybe not bad depending on who you ask but we can all agree large groups of people with a hive mind mentality are suspicious) Mestyanek Young’s eyes on, hands on, experiences with both of these organizations make her uniquely qualified to provide this social commentary. I think this is a really cool book.. tome? Work? to read, especially for people who maybe don’t know that much about cults or cult mentality.
Look, I get that she survived unimaginable trauma. I feel for her, I really do.
But suffering trauma does not automatically make you rational and perceptive about the kind of trauma you suffered. In fact, it's usually the opposite: It makes you paranoid (hypervigilant is the clinical term) and liable to see threats where they do not exist. If you, for example, survived a cult and did not take the time to contextualize your experience, to recognize that some of the things that were done in your cult are not necessarily bad if done in moderation, you might start seeing cults everywhere you look, from restaurants to fandoms to the goddamned gas station, decide that America itself is a cult factory, and write a book that is praised to the heavens because people who haven't been through trauma mistake your hypervigilance for perceptiveness.
Her experience is valuable, and I'm grateful she's shared it with us. But we need to stop treating every trauma survivor as an objective authority on trauma itself. Read their experiences. Learn from them. But take their interpretations with a grain of salt.
I read Daniella's Uncultured and then subscribed to her on Youtube. I have learned that I can trust her not to rile up or rage-bait. She states the truth, calmly and concisely and is good at debunking. The amount of information I have learned from her is invaluable to me, especially her experience in the military and the whats, whys, hows and strict codes surrounding that, which I had very little understanding of. With what is currently going on in America right now, I pre-ordered The Culting of America, it was a must-read for me. I'm over 4 hours in and I am not disappointed. Not only am I learning more about the military and religious extremism, I am learning about other cults that I did not consider cults and how to distinguish cults from groups. You cannot unsee the similarities once you see them. She speaks knowledgeably, thoroughly and in a way that is easy to understand. If you are as confused, upset and concerned about what is happening in the US as I am right now, please pick up this book. I believe her expertise makes it well worth the read.
This book covers Cults. All types of cults and the systems the leaders use to manipulate the people to join and follow. From the early days of America to present day, from being approached after a concert (Taylor Swift is an example given) to religious groups.
Daniella Young provides these insights from her own lived experiences to the knowledge she gained from the Military (read her first book for how she feels about the military as it's also mentioned here). She also has a few co-writers to assist with the knowledge provided in this book.
This will get you thinking and start seeing the signs. Are YOU in a cult may chance? Were you and you didn't know it? This is a definite recommended read for this day in age (not necessarily just based on the political atmosphere in our country) but also due to the age of technology we have and can still be manipulated without our knowledge.
In The Culting of America, Daniella Mestyanek Young breaks down the elements and characteristics of cults, connecting them to common groups and ideas in America. Cult like strategies appear everywhere, from companies that call their employees "family", secret languages used by fandoms, or good causes that start to take a little too much. She outlines how those strategies appear in high-control groups, and explains some warning signs for when it starts to go a little too far. I thought that this book was very accessible and easy to read, but still packed with examples and information. I'd highly recommend this book to people who are looking to understand a little more about cults and groups, and to see where danger signs may lie.
Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.
this is a pretty interesting book about cults, mostly focusing on answering the question: what makes a cult? for me - this wasn't full of new information therefore wasn't totally engaging- if you are a watcher or reader of anything relating to cults this book is full of things you likely have been gleaning from various other sources prior.
however, if this is your first exposure to talk about cults- you will find many interesting things here, and some pretty useful tips for identifying cults and the dangers of them. i hope this book gains some attention and popularity as i think it was more put together and better researched than cultish (which is quoted within this book).
*thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the arc*
This is an in-depth review of a large number of american organizations, institutions, and social groups identifying key elements of cult (or high control group) behavior present in daily life. DMY (author) goes into detail showing how the veneers of civilized behavior and glossy marketing/PR act as a cover for a culture of manipulation, extortion, control, S.A., and labor theft. Not every group reaches the "it's a bad cult" level but the signs and patterns are there. DMY does a great job of emphasizing the human cost and the human fallibility/frailty that sometimes make people vulnerable to the charismatic leaders that prey on them. There is also a workbook available to help people recognize the intrusion of cult-y thinking and deconstruct themselves away from it
This book expands on her previous book and her various podcasts. While one book cannot cover everything, this one felt like it could have been expanded upon. I wanted more to this and to have more of a tool to use. This feels more like a brief outline in areas. I like her model more than Hassan's but it is more difficult to explain to someone who has not given the idea of cults much thought. As I struggle to articulate many of my experiences in a different military branch, if you don't see the military as culty, this book could help more.
Side note, I'd be interested to see a conversation between her and Telltale (Owen Morgan). Two very different cult experiences.
I’ve read the author’s memoir UNCULTURED and been inspired by her educational content on her social media channels, so it’s a privilege to be able to read this book and delve deeper into Daniella Mestyanek Young’s study of cults.
Weaving together the author’s lived experience with significant research, THE CULTING OF AMERICA is a crucial resource for anyone who wants to understand “the groups or relationships that have hurt us in the past, hurt us now or could hurt us in the future.”
As a survivor coercive control and spiritual abuse, the author’s analysis and insights gave me a deeper understanding of cults and harmful power dynamics.
I pre-ordered this book months ago because I knew it would be important. This is not an easy read. You will learn about yourself, especially if your an American and the working of the world around you.
This is a non-fiction book, but it's not dry. It's very engaging and entertaining while helping us explore ideas we might have missed in our day to day lives. No one is immune to cult influence and even mundane seeming groups can have as hidden agenda.
Knowledge is power and this book gives you the tools to identify neferious groups. I highly suggest this book, especially on 2026 America.