Married for Good

by R. Paul Stevens

As many "good" marriages crumble around us, every couple has wondered if they, too, could end up divorced. Is there any way to prevent it? Is there any way to make sure you are married for good? In this book, Paul Stevens lays the foundation for a healthy, growing, permanent relationship.

Genres: Nonfiction, Marriage

168 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 1986

About the author

R. Paul Stevens is professor emeritus of marketplace theology and leadership at Regent College, Vancouver, British Columbia, and a marketplace ministry mentor. He has worked as a carpenter and businessman, and served as the pastor of an inner-city church in Montreal. He has written many books and Bible studies, including Doing God's Business, Work Matters, Marriage Spirituality, The Other Six Days and Spiritual Gifts. He is coauthor (with Pete Hammond and Todd Svanoe) of The Marketplace Annotated Bibliography.

Reviews

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book had some really valuable things to offer, and was forward thinking for its time, but is a little outdated now. Still, there is a lot of valuable insight to be gleaned.

[Nick Osborne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read quite a few books on marriage. This is one of the better ones.

I was leery picking it up because of the very outdated picture on the cover, wondering if it would still be relevant given the enormous changes of the marriage and relationship landscape over the past 30 years.

However, I was very pleasantly surprised on two fronts. First, this book is unlike other books on marriage in that it does not focus on the common "marriage conflict topics" such as finances, communication, etc. In that manner, it is *not* a "how-to" manual on marriage. If you're looking for advice like that, there are other good books.

Second, Stevens focuses on the concept of marriage being a covenant, and what it means to love (not the feeling of the love, but the choices and actions that demonstrate the love one vowed to the other). He places marriage within the confines of a biblical, social, legal, and personal covenant with another, and then opens up the potential joy, safety, and "oneness" this covenant offers those who commit to it.

His chapter of the six loyalties of love (e.g. what does it mean to be loyal with our attitude, our words, our sex, etc) was fantastic, as was his chapter on "headship."

Each chapter also ends with exercises the couple can do, should they choose to. I did not read these exercises thus cannot comment on them, but if they are anything like the rest of the book, I'm sure they are beneficial.

This would be the kind of book that you could and your spouse could pre-read separately, then take a weekend retreat somewhere quiet, on your own, to talk and share on each chapter.

[Glory T · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked this book until I got to the chapter about the headship of the husband. I highly disagree how the husband's headship is in a sense "abusive" as so the author claimed. My husband is the head of our house, as I see in scripture and a good man will not abuse that role. If done right, it ultimately benefits the family. I really had issues with that one chapter (chapter 8). But the rest of the book was well done. Paul Stevens shows the importance of the covenant in marriage and how scripture relates to marriage. He also relate that God's ultimate purpose for marriage is to be a blessing and a learning experience. I thought the author had a very healthy outlook of sexual relations, being good and not a shameful thing in marriage. So much of the book is good, but only if the chapter "The Problem with Headship" was omitted. Also, he refers to the Trinity which is also not a biblical concept (if you really go by scripture, there is a dual godhead of God the Father and Jesus Christ-the three in one scripture of 1 John 5:8 was later added and is not in the original text). The Holy Spirit is simply God's power, not a separate being. The three godhead comes from paganism. This and the awful chapter trying to destroy scriptural headship of the husband like Christ is the head of the church (Colossians 1:18) is why I gave the book 3 stars instead of 5 stars.