How to Die in the 21st Century: A Whole New Way to Talk about Death

by Hannah Gould

Talking about death won't kill you. Yet in today's world, death remains one of our greatest taboos. As religion declines and rituals fade, we are left without much guidance for one of life's only certainties. This is your book for death in the 21st century – a compassionate, practical and surprisingly hopeful guide to understanding mortality.

From cremation to green burials, from grieving a pet to navigating memorial etiquette, anthropologist and death scholar Hannah Gould answers the questions most of us are too afraid to

Do I really get my loved one's ashes back from the crematorium? Can I turn into a tree when I die? How do I talk to my parents about end-of-life planning? Should I attend my ex's dad's funeral? Will I ever stop crying over my dog? Honest, witty and deeply reassuring, Gould invites listeners to confront mortality not with fear, but with curiosity and courage.

Genres: Audiobook, Nonfiction

Audible Audio

Published March 3, 2026

Reviews

[Hannah Hale · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an only child, as a teacher, as the niece of many LGBTQIA+ people, as a friend, as cousin to a 6 year old dead child; this spoke to me in so many different ways.

I loved that this came with a Melbourne lens, and lasered in on the wellness industry throughout. I also appreciated the upbeat nature of the writing that also doesn’t hold back on the facts.

Finally, I never really thought about life expectancy vs healthy life expectancy - something to ponder for me.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Death is hard. Avoiding it is harder. I initially listened to this as an audiobook but realised half way through that I was going to need a physical copy as well, because it is packed full of such interesting and helpful information. Really well thought out and I was actually inspired, in a strange way! Highly recommend.

[Kaija Strautins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the anthropological and societal lens of this, how death is viewed by a society, our rituals and their purposes.

[Jessica Daley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting read. Promotes the importance of having difficult conversations surrounding mortality to promote ‘better’ dying practices and more compassion for the dying and those working in death care. Really enjoyed it.

[Alison · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad book, written by an Aussie anthropologist, and although an occasional 'grouse' bit about death and decay, it has loads of interesting facts, life and death ideas looking at 'how' and some of the issues with modern funerals and such, and although there could have been more perhaps about what really 'needs' to be done with death, but still, Gould gives you loads to think about and although death is something we all have to deal with at some point, written not 'funny', but not morbidly either which was nice. Suitable for the non-squeamish and older teens and adults.

[Kel Harry · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great practical book on death, planning, funerals etc. Not a step by step guide, an exploration of options, teachings, cultures, laws etc. Encouraging conversation around death and dying including environmental, societal, monetary issues etc.
Great book
I think especially if you have not encountered death as it takes away some of the mystery and fear.
I listened to the audio version read by the auditor, it was awesome. I’ll now buy a hard copy so I can share with family and friends and further reference the ideas

[Caitlin G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like most people, I don't want to think about death, especially when it involves the people I love and of course myself. However, Hannah articulated beautifully what death, dying and grieving looks likes, feels like, smells like in a tasteful and insightful way. I'm glad she wrote this book, I'm glad I read it! Talking about death won't bring about death!

[Karen Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very accurate information. A lot of humour to diffuse the sobriety that can shroud the subject. I felt it was a little skewed with some personal bias at some points.

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good, practical considerations to get people having necessary conversations about death. This seems like it's accessible and hits points that I think people want to know.

[Karen O'Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very good read

We will all die as will everyone we know and don't know. This book is engaging, knowledgeable and will help you to engage with an inevitable event in all our lives. I loved it.

[Umar Rashid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as depressing as I expected. Learned some interesting things.

[Bill Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspired me to make a death playlist. I found the insights regarding the over medicalisation of death and related stigma in the 21st century fascinating. Western attitudes to this are so perplexing. Devastated I can’t be made into a tree after I die though.

[JessQueen · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to Die in the 21st Century by Hannah Gould

Thanks to the ALC program by @librofm I was had the amazing opportunity to listen to Gould’s work and learn so much about everything that surrounds death. I do believe people need to know, learn and understand what happens to us, as the D word is also part of our lives.

Blurb:

Talking about death won't kill you. Yet in today's world, death remains one of our greatest taboos. As religion declines and rituals fade, we are left without much guidance for one of life's only certainties. This is your handbook for death in the 21st century – a compassionate, practical and surprisingly hopeful guide to understanding mortality. From cremation to green burials, from grieving a pet to navigating memorial etiquette, anthropologist and death scholar Hannah Gould answers the questions most of us are too afraid to ask: – Do I really get my loved one's ashes back from the crematorium? – Can I turn into a tree when I die? – How do I talk to my parents about end-of-life planning? – Should I attend my ex's dad's funeral? – Will I ever stop crying over my dog? Honest, witty and deeply reassuring, Gould invites listeners to confront mortality not with fear, but with curiosity and courage.

My thoughts 💭

This is certainly a 5⭐️ book. There’s nothing that Gould left unsaid. She went for all. The good, the bad and the ugly. Now I do really understand so much about my choices, about my family’s opinions and especially I learnt more about what I want for my body after death. There are a million different things to consider and I do believe it’s healthy to openly talk about it as it lessens the burden to the ones who are left behind. It’s a wonderful, wise and even fun book at some point. I loved this book and I highly recommend it!