A must-read for any fan of the music of Kansas or Kerry Livgren.
From Seeds of
. . . As we played songs that night from Audiovisions and earlier albums, I found myself participating in the music, but my mind was conjuring up images from the past. Retracing my own intellectual and spiritual pilgrimage during the course of my life, I was amazed at the diversity of beliefs I had embraced and rejected. A relentless pursuit of meaning had driven me down
a variety of Western and Eastern paths; some led farther than others, and yet all seemed to terminate in dead ends. But what I found in 1979 was not another end but the beginning of a new quality of life that gets richer with every passing month . . .
Seeds of Change chronicles Kerry Livgren’s spiritual quest and gives insight into the process and mind behind Kansas hits like “Dust in the Wind” and “Carry on Wayward Son.” This revised and updated edition includes new features, such as photographs that appear chronologically within the text, a new preface as well as epilogue with updates on Kerry’s endeavors since Seeds’ first publication, and a link to a once-lost recording of Kerry composing “Dust in the Wind.”
BOTH A MUSICAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY, BUT EQUALLY A SPIRITUAL TESTIMONY
Co-author Kenneth Boa wrote in the Preface to this 1983 book, “This is not another ‘celebrity biography.’ … Kerry’s story is important in itself, not because of his fame. I met Kerry in the summer of 1979, about a month after he came to the resolution of his spiritual quest. As we got to know each other, it became obvious that we had traveled down similar paths over the years, and it was fascinating to discover the process that gradually led us both to the same conclusions. When we agreed to work together on this project in 1981, I wondered if it would be more appropriate to use the first or the third person throughout the book… I decided to use the first person. In this way, [this book] became a synthesis of our minds because I had to insert my thoughts and imagination into his experiences and thought processes. We hope that the product will enable you to think more clearly about your own spiritual journey.”
Kerry recounts, “I was confirmed at Trinity Lutheran Church at the age of thirteen after going through the required process of learning and memorization… We studied the cardinal doctrines of Christianity and elements of church history… My interest in spiritual matters was minimal; so the spiritual answers I was learning didn’t correspond to the questions I was raising. Thus, I understood the material on an intellectual level, but I was unable to grasp what it really meant… It amazes me now to look back … recall the explicit details I was given concerning the person and work of Christ, and yet how little it mattered to me… If someone had asked me at that time what it really meant to be a Christian, my answer would have been an abysmal fabric of confirmation.” (Pg. 11)
He formed a band, and “The humanistic philosophies of Friedrich Nietzsche and Ayn Rand still influenced my thinking but unlike them I had not yet come to reject the existence of God. I had practically no interest in the Bible, but the wonders of creation ... sometime made me feel close to God. This became more of a nature mysticism at time went on.” (Pg. 21)
After watching the movie ‘2001: A Space Odyssey,’ “My growing desire for an encounter with the transcendent began to lead me down the path of mysticism. The whole hippie culture at that time with its drugs, music, and undercurrents of Eastern thought because a catalyst in my own spiritual quest.” (Pg. 27)
He recalls, “I became a voracious reader… Many of these ideas were tied into the philosophies of the East… The books of Hermann Hess and Alan Watts revolved around these Eastern themes and prepared me for my first undiluted does of Eastern religion… I read books by Sri Chinmoy, Paramahansa Yogananda, Ramana Maharshi, Krishnamurti, and others. I found myself attracted to many facets of Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism. I never became much of a meditator, however, because I could not subject my will to a completely empty state of mind.” (Pg. 33-34)
Recounting his songs and career with Kansas, he notes, “A lot of people thought ‘Portrait (He Knew)’ was about Christ, but at the time I wrote this song I wasn’t doing a lot of thinking about Christ. Instead, this was a musical portrait of Albert Einstein (though it could also apply to a number of historical figures with an extraordinary measure of charisma and vision).” (Pg. 104)
He says, “My desire to find religious truth throughout these years … was actually accentuated by our attainment of success… The search continued, but I was becoming disenchanted with Eastern philosophy. A very basic element that needed fulfillment within me seemed to be minimized in these systems That was a sense of righteousness---an absolute basis for right and wrong… Eastern religions have a very high reverence for life; but with an ultimate reality that is impersonal … they lack a final ground for personal righteousness. I knew that this was a moral universe and that morality only has meaning in the context of personhood---intelligence and choice. Deep inside I was looking for the infinite Person who alone could account for order, aesthetics, intelligence, morality and human life.”(Pg. 115)
He asserts, “I had come to stereotype Christians as … one of two extremes… either a hypocrite who went to church on Sundays as a social maneuver, or a wild-eyed Jesus freak who fanatically threw tracts at people … and told them they were going to fry in hell… Then it happened---in 1977 I discovered a book that convinced me… It was called ‘The Urantia Book.’ … I brought it home and began to examine it as I sat in bed… it soon became totally engrossing… The more I read, the more amazing it became.” (Pg. 117-118)
He explains, “I was resolutely convinced that I had discovered the supreme revelation I had been looking for… The most attractive thing about this book was the way it synthesized all the diverse elements I had been studying into a coherent picture of reality… Suddenly Jesus Christ was back in the picture. This was not the Jesus I had learned about as a child… Another reason for my attraction to this new world view was the way it seemed to satisfy my scientific curiosity… Equally important was the fact that Urantia drew a picture of a moral universe, and this was one of the things I was craving.” (Pg. 118-119)
Later, he muses, “The possibility that this book could be a misrepresentation of Christ actually designed to lead me away from him was something I couldn’t even imagine… The Urantia Book didn’t just supersede the Bible as an extended revelation. Instead, it was almost 180 degrees away from the Bible on every major Christian. It either redefined the teachings of the bible or denied them altogether… No one wants to admit that he has been taken for a ride. The internal turmoil taking place inside me was bewildering.” (Pg. 129-130) He adds, “My previously unanswered question of why so many occult books had doctrines that were similar to those of Urantia now began to be answered. They were spiritual counterfeits.” (Pg. 132)
He reports, “I’ll never forget what happened at my hotel… about three o’clock on the morning of July 24… It became clear to me that Christianity is so completely unique that it stands apart from all other religions… if it was really true, I would have to face up to it and become a Christian regardless of the consequences… I reached over and picked up [Hal Lindsey’s book] ‘The Liberation of Planet Earth.’ … This was it. If this was the real God, then I wanted him… I wanted him to be the Lord in my life…. Laughing and crying at the same time, I felt that the huge weight on my shoulders was suddenly taken away forever.” (Pg. 136-137)
He concludes, “God … is the source of all things. In Christ I find limitless resources… The Christian world view relates to every subject, every area of interest and concern… The years of searching and emptiness are over because I have found a relationship with the One I was created to know and serve. He permeates everything I do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” (Pg. 184)
I read this book when it originally came out many years ago and only recently felt compelled to read it again after listening to some of Kansas' music. I found a used copy of the book updated and revised and thoroughly enjoyed reading through Kerry Livgren's progress of faith. It is amazing to read about him reading philosophy and listening to classical music in his youth and his reasoning. This makes his journey, as documented in the lyrics of his songs, all the more intriguing and still very relevant. More than that, it is incredible how he was able to abstain from drug usage and the debauchery so prevalent in that culture, including within his own band. It is also greatly satisfying to see how capable Jeff Pollard from LeRoux was in answering his objections to the faith.
The additions to the updated version briefly provide an overview of his progress in faith after the Kansas breakup, but the strength of this book lies in his prior journey. He moves towards truth through eastern religions and the book of Urantia until he faces someone with solid answers in Scripture. Livgren is also candid in his struggle over how to live out his faith within the band as its main song writer that ultimately causes its breakup. This is a great volume that, although out of print, is a good sojourn for any aspiring song writer.
Most autobiographies of big name musicians are not worth the paper they are printed on. They are normally filled with narcissistic fluff and has little relevance on the music they wrote and performed. This autobiography is not one of them. Just like the headline band, "Kansas," of which Kerry Livgren was an integral part of for so many years, kicking out tunes with mystical sounds, this book explains what was going through Livgren's mind when he wrote those songs, which have now become classics. It is part autobiography, part philosophy and part music theory, all recorded in one easy-to-read volume. The book is not complicated, even though Livgren's mind and deep philosophies might be a little complicated for the average reader. Still worth taking the time to read.
Worthwhile read from a prolific poet, songwriter, musician, and philosopher who dug through myriad world views, philosophies, and so/called truths to find the truth. And thereby found his freedom. This is a thinker's book by a creative who didn't settle for good enough in any aspect of his crafts. Grateful for his musical legacy and for sharing his journey of exploration and discovery and revelation with those who have ears to hear.
A must read for any Kansas fan...and anyone who appreciates great poetry, progressive songwriting and skilled musicians. I continue listening to Kerry and Kansas to this day...amazing how there 2000 reunited album "Somewhere in Kansas" Sounds similiar to Leftoverture, Point of No Return and Monolith.
I read this book a couple of decades ago when my Kansas fanaticism was at its zenith. What a journey God took Kerry Livgren thru before He finally brought him to Himself. This would definitely be of interest to any nominal Kansas/Livgren fan.