S.O.B.E.R.*

by Anita Devlin, Michael Devlin Jr.

While laying in an empty bathtub in a Motel 6 in Vermont, Mike takes a handful of OxyContin and waits for the heart palpitations to kill him. As he starts to fade he reads a text on his phone, “Son, I love you and I need to know that you’re OK.” Struggling to understand why anyone would care about him because of his years of drug abuse, he responds, “Mom, no one can help me.” Then, in a moment of clarity, he decides he wants there to be a tomorrow and to be a part of his family again. He makes the call for help to his mother; the call that saves his life. S.O.B.E.R.*, an acronym for "Son Of a Bitch Everything’s Real" describes the moment Anita Devlin and her son Mike realize that denying his addiction to pain pills is destroying him. It is the defining moment when they commit to the courageous fight to get their lives back. This is when their family’s road to recovery begins. S.O.B.E.R.* offers a rare glimpse at the daily, all consuming relationship between family and addiction, told simultaneously from a mother’s view and an addict’s perspective. Everyone thinks Mike has it all because he is a star varsity lacrosse player, does well in school and is popular with the girls. However, Mike feels completely alone on the inside. When sports related surgeries introduce him to the world of pain pills, he uses them to mask his insecurities and spirals downward. Once in treatment, he learns that drugs are the least of his problems. The real problem is his mind. The drugs aren’t making his demons disappear, they are only masking them and burying them down deeper. Mike is confident that he can be sober but he is not convinced that he can be sober and happy.Anita thinks that being a mother gives her the right to negotiate with God for her child. She sits in church and pleads, “God, I don’t care what happens to me, please just take care of my son.” She lets go of everything that makes her strong until she has nothing to hold on to but fear. She is afraid of what will happen if she focuses on anything but her son. This is an addiction itself. Anita becomes sick physically and spiritually. She is ashamed that she is afraid of what people will think instead of helping her only son, and she is faced with yet another hurdle… a confrontation with the truth that she herself needs to get healthy and learn to let go. We are allowed a glimpse into the family’s recovery through powerful “cost” letters including one from Mike’s sister and from the innocent voice of the family dog. Despite an avalanche of life’s misfortunes, nothing else matters as long as they don’t lose Mike. Anita, her husband Michael and their daughter Alex join forces with the Caron Treatment Center where “the patient is the family, and the family is the patient.” “Addiction is an octopus” says Anita, “Whose tentacles wrap tightly around us all choking the life out of everyone in its way. The whole family needs to recover together.”

247 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 14, 2015

Reviews

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful and Revealing

Every family has problems, but we all are taught to pretend "everything is fine" when it really is not. This book is so truthful, Anita (the mom) and her son, Mike are so honest, which is so very difficult, especially in our culture of pretending everything is wonderful. A riveting, must read book, especially for parents of teens and young adults, so they hopefully will look at their children with their eyes wide open.

[Jeanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A raw glimpse at what could happen in any family... A must read, if you have children, grandchildren, or just love children. Be aware...

[Margo McGovern · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book to read from both perspectives, the addict and the mother that loves him

I would recommend this book to anyone who struggles with addiction or has a loved one that does. I am definitely going to recommend it to my fellow parents in my Family Addiction Suppurt Group. Thank you Anita and Mike!!

[Josephine J · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very compelling story, and a profoundly moving book.

The presentation/layout is fantastic. The writing style makes reading so easy. I found that I was thirstily gulping down page-after-page. This book was unputdownable.

The content is inspiring for anyone... (a topic/subject that is frightening up close & personal) ... and I will highly recommend it to everyone. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this inspiring book.

[Traci Thomas · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story is very raw and personal but neither author is a writer. I liked the form but the book would have really benefited from and editor to help shape it.

[Carolyn S · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Stars depends on what you get out of this book and how it relates to your personal life . 60 Minutes heat it on the nail two weeks ago when the speaker explain it so good that addiction is an disease. This book show the love of a mother, and so many of us can relate to, and her struggles with her son's addiction. This story could be your child or a friend's child. Unless we recognize that addiction is a disease and work from there, we will continue to have the jails full of addicts. Like cancer, everyone might need a different treatment. This boy was saved through Caron Treatment Center, Recovery for Life.
I recommend this book, and feel kids in high school could benifit from reading this book, for themselves or friends.

[Margaret · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poorly written



Interesting story but the mother's sections are poorly written(who was the editor?). The son's sections are better written but also not well edited. Many unfinished story lines, duplicative thoughts and even outright repeated sentences. Did she ever sell her TV show? When did the cape house sell? Where did the money come from if they were broke? Did one glory moment in lacrosse lead to his addiction--it seems to be his and the parents' and the sister's most important memory of this kid's life. The mother comes across as self obsessed, including in writing this book. It could have been a much better told story than it was. I read it for a book club of middle school moms. I guess we must read some poorly written books to know a well written one.