The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl: Adventures in Life and Love in the Heart of Dixie

by Jaime Primak Sullivan, Eve Adamson (Primary Contributor)

Jaime Primak Sullivan, outspoken star of Bravo TV’s Jersey Belle , offers no-nonsense Southern-spun advice for navigating life and love with her signature charismatic Jersey charm in this winning fish-out-of-water tale.

Jamie Primak Sullivan, a Jersey-bred, tough-as-nails PR maven—and unlikely transplant in an upscale suburb of Birmingham, Alabama—has spent her entire life crossing the whether she’s pushing the boundaries of what proper Southern ladies consider to be “polite behavior” or literally traversing the Mason-Dixon line in the name of love. She isn’t afraid to say what everyone is thinking when it comes to love, sex, friendship, and many other topics that are all-too-often sugar-coated in polite Southern company. But when a meet-cute scenario right out of a Nora Ephron movie upends her life, Jaime finds herself a reluctant “knish out of water,” smack-dab in the Deep South starting a life with her new husband, the perfect Southern gentleman.

In The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl , Jaime shares hard-learned lessons on Southern etiquette, deep-fried foods, college football, and matters of the heart while living in the heart of Dixie, with her quintessential ball-busting, bullsh*t free, and side-splitting Jersey twist.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Adult, Audiobook, Humor, Biography Memoir

304 pages, Hardcover

Published August 2, 2016

About the author

Jaime Primak Sullivan is a publicist, producer, and writer. She is the Creative Producer/Star of #cawfeetawk & "Jersey Belle" NOT a therapist, just living.

Reviews

[Chauncey · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title and blurb for this book are a bit misleading. This isn’t so much a ‘knish out of water’ tale as it is a reality television personality’s memoir. Nor is it very much like the show Jersey Belle where Primak Sullivan’s social faux pas in Southern society were entertaining and funny. It may not be what you’re expecting but it’s still a sweet story told through Primak Sullivan’s ballsy perspective. Bottom line, it is about love, faith, family and friendship.

That’s fine and it’s an interesting story. Michael Sullivan is clearly a saint if for no other reason than to let the tampon story be told. The entire first half of the book is the telling of the Sullivan’s courtship and it really was an old fashioned courtship rather than dating. Shockingly long and void of action but seriously sweet in the long run. The second half is the family, friendship and faith parts.

The education we do get is through #cawfeetawk segments some Southern and some just general life lessons. Although the lessons do reflect the previous chapter they aren’t strictly Southern and they felt a bit like add-ons to try to bring the narrative back to the title.

Overall it felt like a missed opportunity if the goal was to be funny and entertaining or it was overly ambitious if aiming for a celebrity memoir. At some points she over shares personal details and other times it feels like she's holding back the details that would make an okay story either really funny or really touching. Her story is sweet, she’s likable, funny, smart and clearly a PR guru which keeps readers engaged.

I liked her story and being a Southerner I have to say there’s little to be offended by and y’all know that the purpose of good manners is to make others feel comfortable and welcome not as a weapon to put them down or feel like an outsider. So I’ll say to anyone that makes a Jersey girl feel anything but welcome in the Deep South…bless your heart. As my Grammy would say, “You know better, so do better.”

An ARC of this book was provided by NetGalley, Touchstone and the author in exchange for an honest review.

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, I never saw Jersey Belle, but I follow Jamie on Instagram and Facebook and I'm a daily, eager listener of #cawfeetalk. Therefore, I loved this book and loved that she narrated it herself even more.

I don't know that virgin "Jamie Primak Sullivan" people will enjoy this book. It's an autobiography. It's funny, and cute, and serious at times, but I have enjoyed it because I'm invested her as a person and I already know a little about her life, so it was great learning about stuff in more detail.

So, if you're a fan, dig into this book. If you have no idea who she is, start following her and watching some Cawfee Talk videos and determine whether or not she's the gal for you, and then determine whether or not you'd want to read this book.

[Diana Botto · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!!!!!!!!!! I just picked it up from the library because it looked interesting and I fell in love with the author, Jaime. She is so funny, and fun and I totally would want to be her friend if I knew her. It's about her transplanting her life from Jersey girl and living in NYC and LA and winding up in Alabama when she finds the love of her life. It's just a great story of her life and now I have to find her Show Jersey Belle!!! I read this book in 2 days

[Jodie L · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure that I would have read this book if the book description was more accurate...

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm sadly disappointed. I'm a Jersey Girl (well, my dad was transferred to Texas when I was in high school but I consider myself always a Jersey Girl) who has lived in Texas, Maryland and also Pennsylvania. I've been in Louisiana now for 21 years, God help me.

First, this book is really not what the title states. A majority of the book is about her relationship with her boyfriend/ fiancée/husband. Yes, she throws in curve balls she's experienced due to her Jerseyness, but this is not a "southern education of a Jersey Girl." Admittedly, I laughed at some of the situations she described, particularly concerning how long it took before her then boyfriend now husband kissed her (though I questioned others. For example, she ate crawfish while traveling through Louisiana in August. Crawfish season ends in June). That's what had me give the book three stars rather than two.

Second, not all Jersey girls are like her. Yes, I'm loud and opinionated and speak my mind and can be obnoxious, which is what she admits to (and credits her Jersey upbringing). There, we are similar. But I'm not like her in many other ways and neither are my Jersey friends. She's a "lover...big and bold and physical...wants hugs and kisses and affection." Ironically, my Texan husband is all those things and he credits my coldness and lack of affection to my Jerseyness. None of my Jersey friends are like her. We barely hug or touch each other. Now, most of my southern friends are touchy-huggy-kissy and they all know I'm not like that.
But, Here's where I had real disagreement with her though. These are attributes she admires about southern women:
-They stand by their man and will change political affiliations and college football teams for them (seriously). Oh hell no would I become a Republican if my husband were one.
-They value marriage. Wait, what? Northern women don't????
-They are ambitious for marriage and status rather than independence and power, but through marriage and status they gain independence and power. Um, so they revert to 1950s status? I mean, what the hell!?!?
-Southern women are really nice ...until they're not. They are masters at talking out the sides of their mouths, like ventriloquists. Also, they withhold judgement, at least out loud. Yep, truth. I agree. Spot on, Jaime. You know the saying that southerners are so friendly and gracious? Well, watch out when you walk away because they'll be the first to talk about you. At least when I don't care for people they can read it on my face. They don't have to hear it from someone else then wonder why that southern woman was so nice to their face. So the author admires them for having the ability to talk behind someone's back while smiling to their face. WTF?
-She admires that they can appear to hold it all together and pretend that everything is fine when in reality, their life sucks. Another WTH?!
Here's what I think went on. By her own admission she was a bit of a wild 20something year old. Crazy relationships (with men and women), partying, traveling, just a bit of (as they say in the south) "a hot mess." After her move to Alabama and her marriage to a "southern gentleman" she settled down and made some friends and, perhaps, finally developed some mature friendships and relationships. Had she settled back in Jersey in a stable marriage perhaps she would appreciate what a Jersey Girl could offer in a friendship.
I'll say this, my best friend since I was 7 or 8 in New Jersey is still my best friend. When one of my best friends here in Louisiana screwed me over, it was her telling me to get on a plane and come hang with her. She was even looking into flights (even after I told her I was ok) and contacting my sister-in-law to see if I was really ok. My other two closest friends I made here in Louisiana are both from Chicago (sadly, they've both moved from Louisiana). I do have southern friends, not really "belles," and they do find it amusing (but I think appreciate) my Yankeeness. They laugh that I have a subscription to Southern Living (they have good recipes and gardening advice!). Another of my good friends is 20 years older than me, born and raised here, but nothing like the southern women Jaime describes. She actually makes fun of the women Jaime describes. Some of my friends are men, I think they appreciate my opinionness. When I think about it, most of my southern friends are nothing like the ones the author has. They are genuine, open, and friendly. I avoid the ones involved in the Junior League (I have a southern friend who lived in Pennsylvania for a few years. She was involved in Junior League both here and there and was so disgusted by some of the women here that she quit after moving back) or Symphony League). I love our symphony and attend it regularly, but these women don't even attend the concerts. I really tried to broaden my horizons, join organization and do things I wasn't interested in when I moved here. It didn't work. Most of those women were "not my people"(as Jaime says). I look forward to the day I will leave the south. I regret raising my children in a region where most of the public school systems are lacking, where racism is still rampant (as is sexism) and where everything on a fall weekend gets scheduled around a college football game. Until then, I keep trying to make the best of it and make friendships with whomever I connect with.

[Victoria Colotta · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this candid and refreshing look at life, love and the South, Jaime Primak Sullivan gives us a full-on Jersey view of her choices, missteps, and greatest joys all with a little Southern etiquette on the side.

The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl is a book that I had been waiting to read since I heard about it. I loved watching Jaime on her Bravo TV show, Jersey Belle. Her balls-out Jersey attitude was so much fun. As a fellow Jersey Girl, it was easy to have a kinship with her. However, once the show was off the air, I sort of lost touch. Then, I heard that she was writing a book and had to check it out.

As soon as I opened the pages of this book, I knew I would love it. The honesty, the humor, the heartfelt moments, and the pure Jersey of it made the pages fly by. By writing this book, the author opens up in a way that few people really do. She embraces the fact that people are not perfect and that we all make mistakes. Yet somehow, she is able to see through all the bull and get to what is really important.

Since I first read it, I have re-read this book several times to revisit moments and insights by the author that hit me the most. Truthfully, I keep going back to the #cawfeetawk sections of the book. These are by far my favorite and love that the author tied her book to the videos that she does. If you haven’t checked out her videos, they are a must. I frequently sit at my desk with my coffee and watch her latest post before I start my day which is probably why I like these sections so much.

If you are a Jersey Girl or just one at heart, this is the book for you. If you are a woman who thinks that someone just can’t possibly understand you, this book is for you. In truth, I don’t really see who this book would not be for. So grab your cup of coffee and get ready to get a little Southern education.

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[Melanie Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a Southern Belle, I didn't agree with some of this book, but I think there was enough that rang true to make it interesting. A Jersey woman meets an Alabama Southern Gent and fall in love over a inordinate long period of time, and it seems that it took her even longer to fall in love with the South. There are a lot of stereotypical "Southernisms" in the book and a few that she pokes fun of a bit. We have a saying in the South - "I can talk about my momma all I want but you better not". I kinda felt that way about this book.

[Lisa Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and real, this was just what I needed for a nice change of pace.

[Antonella · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve never seen Jamie Primak Sullivan’s reality show on Bravo, Jersey Belle, but I somehow stumbled upon her on Instagram. I connected with her Insta posts: here was a born and bred Jersey girl living in Alabama, and while I don’t live in Alabama, I’m a Jersey girl who moved away 8 years ago and have had similar experiences living in Washington and now Minnesota. Her book is a memoir that captures what it’s been like to fit in in the South. She’s too loud, too aggressive, too Jersey. I found the book very relatable, funny and a fast read.

[McKenna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm sad to say this book is not what I expected it to be..which makes me really sad because I love Jaime. To begin, the title is very misleading as I have seen that many people have noticed. I didn't read it because I thought it would be about Southern culture though, so that aspect isn't even my greatest concern, as it was for others. I chose to read the book simply because I developed a love for Jaime and wanted to support something that she was so proud of - as she should be, of course. I will say, the book was not horrible. It definitely wasn't the worst book I've ever read, but I think it is severely lacking considering what I think she is capable of. A lot of the chapters seemed so rushed to me, like we weren't getting the whole story. I understand that books of this type can only be so long but it just came across like so much was skipped over, almost to the point where the story line didn't quite come together and it was kind of hard to make sense of what was happening. She has every right to keep things hidden, I completely understand, but I feel like she could have spent much more time on certain topics that seemed like they were really really important to her. Does that make sense? Another thing is that I think the book as a whole could have been written better. It came off to me that her thoughts could have used more articulation. Overall, I just liked the book. I didn't love it, which again, makes me sad because I love Jaime and her personality. I don't recommend the book to people that don't know her because they won't get it. If you like Jaime as I do and want to learn more about her though, I say give it a shot. I enjoyed learning about stages of her life! Even though I expected more from the book, I still love Jaime and support her fully! I know she is a great person and is helping so many people! I hope that one day she will decide to write another book, maybe a slightly different style that I will of course give a try! This review is all my opinion only after reading The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl: Adventures in Life and Love in the Heart of Dixie by Jaime Primak Sullivan, with absolutely no disrespect to the author.

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I loved the show jersey belle but this book wasn't at all like the show. In fact, she hardly mentions the show and never mentions certain belles that were staples on the show. For someone who claimed over and over how real the show jersey belle was and how they were all truly friends, one would think she would have given updates or talked about all of the ladies.

There are also rather crude remarks thrown in every now and then either for shock value or to keep the readers attention. Im far from a prude but even I thought it was just too much.

Overall, I found it to be an overdramatized, one sided view of everything she felt/thought while dating her now husband Michael.

So if you are dying to know every intimate detail of how Jaime felt about Michael this book is perfect for you, enjoy! If you are looking for a book about jersey belle or on what it takes to build lasting friendships, don't bother with this one.

[Gwen Bentley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and I really did laugh out loud several times! What can I say? It's a fish out of water story. It's a story about the cultural differences between the north and south. It's a life and love story. It's a story about finding God and one's place in the world. If you have ever been to the south, you will enjoy this one! If you have any preconceived notions about the south, you probably NEED to read this book! If you have ever felt out of place and out of step, you can appreciate the author's journey toward living in the last place she dreamed of...exactly where God wanted her to be. Warning for those who might be offended, there are a few non-Sunday School words, not many. The story is beautiful and funny and not to be put down. Full of aged wisdom--from above and below the Mason Dixon Line!

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in one sitting today. Jaime really has a way with words; sometimes I forgot I wasn't reading fiction because some of her stories seemed so dramatic and outrageous. But that's just Jersey Jaime, right? I am part of her "cawfeetawk planet" as she calls it, so I'm familiar with a lot of her stories, her children (Charlie!) and Michael but it was nice to get to know her background story and what made her who she is today.

Because of my own personality, I may not have understood or even liked all aspects of her book, but you can't help but love Jaime for putting herself out there and giving us a completely honest look into her heart.

I only wish that she had included pictures; it would be nice to put faces to names and stories.

[Marcia Literati · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a memoir for anyone who has moved from "here" to "there" and feels a bit like a fish out of water. I now live in NJ but am from elsewhwere and can totally relate to some of Jamie's angst... except from an opposite point of view. Some laugh-out-loud moments, some personal and poignant moments and a very personal love story.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read for a bookclub or I never would have read this. I have never heard of the author even though she has had a television show and a YouTube program. I enjoyed this book a lot. It was lighthearted, funny and I breezed right through it. Not a great piece of literature, but highly entertaining. It was slightly naughty but I laughed out loud in parts. I don’t agree with all the traits she attributes to southern women, but this is her experience so who am I to argue with that.

[ELIZABETH BURDETT · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, entertaining, lighthearted read. I like a book that makes me laugh out loud. I don’t take it as gospel and don’t believe it’s intended as such. But it is great storytelling. One woman’s perspective on the massive and sometimes bewildering shift in culture when she settles in Alabama. Particularly enjoyed the chapter on faith.

[Jesika · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really was excited to read this book, but it turned out to be one gigantic humble brag about her professional life. Very few actual descriptions of differences between the north and the south--which was what I wanted from this book.

[Rhonda Bridges · Rating 2 out of 5]

T. M. I. Loved the show Jersey Belle, but this book...

[Stephanie Crescenzo · Rating 2 out of 5]

If nothing else, this book just confirms for me that Jersey is my home, sweet home, lol.
As an ex-Catholic atheist, I admit bias, but this book primarily failed for me because I simply couldn't stand the constant God talk.
Even setting that aside, I still don't really know what positive insight I was supposed to glean about the South from this. Even beyond the faith-heavy tone, what really lost me was how genuine conflict got brushed off as " having grace". The author spends so much time romanticizing charm school manners that she skips any real reckoning with class, race, or queerness. She never takes the opportunity to assess how her own privilege plays into her "education". There's very valid reasons people have for distrusting the South and she doesn't touch on any of it except for acting like putting your head down and saying "bless your heart" when someone stomps all over you solves everything.
Also, the mother-in-law plot...just no. If I were ever pregnant and my MIL basically acted like SHE was the one having a baby, I'd sooner gargle bleach than ever speak to that woman again. It's okay to draw lines in the sand and not want to grovel for approval from someone who always had it out against you in the first place! It's okay to put your foot down sometimes when people hurt you, fake politeness and "grace" be damned! But I guess that's just the Jersey in me talking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways, you guys can keep your sweet tea and Bibles. I'll keep my disco fries and firm boundaries.

[Skye · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of those memoirs that is completely, totally and utterly considered to be “laugh out loud”. I giggled and chortled my way through this book in total and utter joy. This is one of those stories that I will pick up again and again. There is something light and joyous about the whole storyline that really got to me and made me imagine every single moment Sullivan describes with perfect vividity.

The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl is a fairly typical fish-out-of-water story. The fact that it’s all true just makes it all that much more intriguing. I mean, many fish-out-of-water stories are based in fact, but this story has that extra ring of truth to it. Plus, you can just picture this big-haired, lough-mouthed jersey girl just blundering her way through the south. There is just a great sense of reality to this story.

I felt like this story was really written in two parts. And was pretty much two love stories. The first was Sullivan’s love story to her husband. I found the story of his courting and their relationship to be fascinating. I loved the slow-going, beautiful relationship that they shared. And the way that they are both able to negotiate their past hurts to finally come up with a new reality that leaves them both happy and feeling… well, complete, to as much of a degree as that ever happens.

The second love story though, is my favourite. It is about Sullivan’s belles. Her gorgeous girlfriends who have helped her negotiate the morals, intricacies and social norms of the belles. Although Michael was a great story, I loved the girlfriends even more. It’s an acknowledgement of the power of women and the ways in which we need them in our lives. It’s a bit of a love ballad to the south as well, but mostly it’s to the importance and power of having good women on your side.

[Lauran · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am in high school and would not recommend this book to anyone younger than me. Although I really liked the book, it was fun to read, I did however think the author towards the end did not really go into the difference as much as she could have. The story turns into her romance with her future husband which is ok, but that's not what the selling point of the book is about. Its supposed to be about the north and the south. And not to mention the civil war once really shows a lack of judgment on her part, aka her husband purposed in front of the monuments. The book was supposed to show the varying lifestyles and intriguing way she can adapt. So, even thought her book starts of well it is a disappointing ending where the author could have been much more insightful than to just to have a summation page near the end. She was very self-absorbed and generalized how she acts on very one who is a Yankee.

[Jessica Pham · Rating 4 out of 5]

YES! I loved this book! It captured my attention while I was traveling to and from home this weekend. I found you on Facebook as a freshman in college in Birmingham, AL, and I'm now a junior. I remember it was the video of Charlie suddenly mentioning your grandmother saying goodnight. It was like she was in the room! Having watched Cawfeetawk for a few years now, it was amazing to listen (on Audible) to your story. It all came together so nicely, and Michael is definitely a saint (as another reviewer said) for letting some of those personal stories be shared with the world. X) I could relate to your Jersey-ness through past experiences with my roommate who is from Illinois and so different from me! My family is also very boisterous, which didn't matter until we moved down to Mobile, AL. Surrounded by so many people who had so many similar traditions (smocked dresses, monogrammed things, wedding registry, quiet, fancy plates), I really felt/feel like a fish out of water. I'm still learning though! It goes to show even people who grew up in the south can still get culture shocked by other parts of the south! X)

[Maria N · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. From the very start you know you're in for a satisfying treat. I didn't know that it was a real story at first but the fact that it is makes it so much better and strengthens hope. The author writes the story in a way that is charming and beautiful. Her love story is a wild one and being caught between two worlds and having to mix the two proves to be quite the journey that we're lucky enough to go on with her. She shares both good and hard times, what she had to go through and how she worked through it. It's inspiring. Read this book!! Overall, a good read.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like a lot of the other reviews suggest, the description of what this book is about, is not what this book is about. Since it still got some good ratings, I decided to read it anyway. I'm not familiar with Jamie Primak Sullivan or the show, Jersey Belles, but I really enjoyed this book. It was mainly about her budding relationship with her southern husband. It made me laugh out loud and also made me actually cry in a few places. Really great, fast read!

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn’t watch her Bravo show but my friend said it was a good book. I must say it took me a a few chapters to get into this memoir but it did get good! I listened to her audio and it was great! Two very different people meeting and their very slow romance story. Jamie tells some funny, some heart warming, and some heart wrenching stories! The last few chapters felt like add ons but didn’t take away from the entirety of the book.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect

I happened upon Jersey Belle one late night and immediately fell in love with Jaime.
Cawfee Tawk has gotten me through some tough times. I watch it every morning and more times than not, its like she's reached into my mind and knew exactly what I needed to hear.
This book will make you laugh, cry and if you aren't already, make you fall in love with Jaime.
Thank you for sharing your story.

[danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me laughing out loud . I love Jamie for a long time I am part of the coffee talk family so it wasn't even a possibility I wouldn't read the book what I didn't expect was not being able to put it down . I love her honesty and being from Brooklyn I could relate to her on so many levels . I laughed I cried and I fully enjoyed this book . I laughed so much my son read the book after me out of pure curiosity and he loves it too . Definitely worth the read

[Stefanni Lynch · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was born and raised in the South and have lived there my whole life. I am still trying to understand it. I randomly chose this book from a library display for Women’s Month. The author is honest (to a fault! I don’t want to read about some of the bodily functions she describes!) but kind about people she does not understand. In these distressing times, I want to be more accepting and kind as well. This book was not a great read, but I can take something good from it.

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no idea who Jamie was , I just picked this book up on a whim ! Didn’t know what to expect and it surprised me !! I loved it !!! Jamie is funny and unexpectedly truthful. I read this book in 4 days , I didn’t want it to end . With Jamie being an outsider in the south and their way of life, being from New Jersey. I totally got it !! Now I have caught her podcasts and love her speaking what is on her mind !!

[Anna C · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’ve seen the show and her social media so I was interested. It’s a little contrived the north south thing and a lot about her job. The husband courting and marriage- he seems a little slow to launch as an adult man and she seems like she resents leaving New Jersey. Maybe I have the book and what she says now on social media confused. In any case the writing isn’t great and some of the southern observations are cliche.