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Raising the Barre: Big Dreams, False Starts, & My Midlife Quest to Dance The Nutcracker
Like generations of little girls, Lauren Kessler fell in love with ballet the first time she saw The Nutcracker, and from that day, at age five, she dreamed of becoming a ballerina. But when she was twelve, her very famous ballet instructor crushed those dreams—along with her youthful self-assurance—and she stepped away from the barre.
Fast forward four decades. Lauren—suddenly, powerfully, itchingly restless at midlife—embarks on a “Transcontinental Nutcracker Binge Tour,” where attending a string of performances in Chicago, New York, Boston, and San Francisco reignites her love affair with the ballet—and fuels her girlhood dream.
What ensues is not only a story about The Nutcracker itself, but also an inside look at the seemingly romantic—but oh-so-gritty—world of ballet, about all that happens away from the audience's eye that precedes the magic on stage. It is a tale told from the perspective of someone who not only loves it, but is also seeking to live it. Lauren's quest to dance The Nutcracker with the Eugene Ballet Company tackles the big issues: fear, angst, risk, resilience, the refusal to “settle in” to midlife, the refusal to become yet another Invisible Woman. It is also a very funny, very real look at what it's like to push yourself further than you ever thought you could go—and what happens when you get there.
Fast forward four decades. Lauren—suddenly, powerfully, itchingly restless at midlife—embarks on a “Transcontinental Nutcracker Binge Tour,” where attending a string of performances in Chicago, New York, Boston, and San Francisco reignites her love affair with the ballet—and fuels her girlhood dream.
What ensues is not only a story about The Nutcracker itself, but also an inside look at the seemingly romantic—but oh-so-gritty—world of ballet, about all that happens away from the audience's eye that precedes the magic on stage. It is a tale told from the perspective of someone who not only loves it, but is also seeking to live it. Lauren's quest to dance The Nutcracker with the Eugene Ballet Company tackles the big issues: fear, angst, risk, resilience, the refusal to “settle in” to midlife, the refusal to become yet another Invisible Woman. It is also a very funny, very real look at what it's like to push yourself further than you ever thought you could go—and what happens when you get there.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published November 24, 2015
51 people are currently reading
1403 people want to read
About the author
Lauren Kessler
47 books120 followersLauren Kessler is an award-winning author and immersion reporter who combines lively narrative with deep research to explore everything from the gritty world of a maximum security prison to the grueling world of professional ballet; from the wild, wild west of the anti-aging movement to the hidden world of Alzheimer’s sufferers; from the stormy seas of the mother-daughter relationship to the full court press of women’s basketball. She is the author of 12 works of narrative nonfiction, including Pacific Northwest Book Award winner Dancing with Rose, Washington Post bestseller Clever Girl and Los Angeles Times bestseller The Happy Bottom Riding. She is also the author of Oregon Book Award winner Stubborn Twig, which was chosen as the book for all Oregon to read in honor of the states 2009 sesquicentennial.
Her journalism has appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Los Angeles Times Magazine, O magazine, Utne Reader, The Nation, newsweek.com and salon.com. Club www.laurenkessler.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 134 reviews
December 8, 2015
This was hard to rate. If I was just rating her story starting with attending 6 different shows and the months up to her dancing on stage, I would have made this 4.5 stars. The behind the scenes details were fascinating and Lauren was very funny in her descriptions of the classes that she tried and her nervousness/awkwardness. Unfortunately, I had a hard time in reading the parts that didn't relate to ballet because they seemed to go on for too long and were repeated too many times throughout the book. I ended up flipping past a lot to get back to her story of her journey to her actual performance, which then strangely seemed cut short.
December 16, 2015
I was just curious to read this book because I am a former ballet dancer who hasn't danced in maybe 4 years now. It's so daunting to figure out how to get back in. Ballet requires tremendous discipline and a very high level of physical condition even if you're no longer performing but just taking class at a professional level. And that's exactly why I fell out of it. My career as a software engineer became so demanding that I was missing classes, and when I did find time to take a class I was just too exhausted mentally to make it count for much. And now I find myself a few years down the road in no shape to be able to jump back in at the level I was at. The traditional path for those like myself is to go back to elementary and beginner level classes, to re-train the body and rebuild stamina. After injuries I have had to go this route and with a lot of work I got myself back to advanced level again, but I just don't have that kind of time anymore. So I was curious how a midlife former dancer managed to not only jump back in, but actually regain the ability to perform on stage again.
Alas, that's not at all what the book turned out to be about. The author is an immersion journalist, and she was allowed to attend company classes, but she was never able to do more than the barre. She was given a role in the Nutcracker as an elderly aunt in the party scene. I wasn't terribly disappointed when I realized this about half way through because she takes the world of dance very seriously, is super respectful and observant. It really just reinforced why I'm where I'm at right now (LOL). And it reminded me (not that I needed it) what dance has meant to me, how it has formed me and benefited me even beyond my life in the dance world.
I highly recommend this book for anybody who is interested in knowing what it's like to be a professional dancer.
Alas, that's not at all what the book turned out to be about. The author is an immersion journalist, and she was allowed to attend company classes, but she was never able to do more than the barre. She was given a role in the Nutcracker as an elderly aunt in the party scene. I wasn't terribly disappointed when I realized this about half way through because she takes the world of dance very seriously, is super respectful and observant. It really just reinforced why I'm where I'm at right now (LOL). And it reminded me (not that I needed it) what dance has meant to me, how it has formed me and benefited me even beyond my life in the dance world.
I highly recommend this book for anybody who is interested in knowing what it's like to be a professional dancer.
August 10, 2021
Kessler is an academic/writer, not a dancer (this is important, but lest you forget, she'll remind you every page or so). She's also older than your average dancer (again, she'll remind you). But she still held one of her childhood dreams: to dance The Nutcracker. Luckily for Kessler, the artistic director of the local ballet company was willing to give her a shot at a minor role.
Most of the book covers Kessler's preparation for actually dancing, which is to say it's about yoga and Pilates and not running and finding leotards that fit people who aren't professional dancers and learning to apply makeup and worrying—more or less constantly—about not having the body of a twenty-something dancer. One of the things that most interested me about the book, though, is the way the cogs are visible. Not the cogs of ballet; I've read plenty of other behind-the-scenes books about dance/performance. Rather, we see a lot of Kessler's process of research and writing. I'm not convinced that it was a stylistic choice and not entirely convinced it worked—I could have used a little less 'and then I looked this up on the Internet and here's what I learned, and here's a snarky comment to go with it' and a little more seamless integration of research—but in a way it mirrors the behind-the-scenes sense of the ballet.
There's so much self-doubt and negative self-talk that it's hard to tell how well Kessler did in The Nutcracker (on an objective, performance-only level—on a personal-fulfillment level it sounds pretty satisfying), although that might be in part because there's not all that much about the performances themselves. But there's never any hint from the professionals that there were insurmountable problems, and according to the Internet* she returned to dance the same role the following year. So...sounds like a success, and now I rather want to read Full-Court Press.
*Yes, I am a hypocrite.
Most of the book covers Kessler's preparation for actually dancing, which is to say it's about yoga and Pilates and not running and finding leotards that fit people who aren't professional dancers and learning to apply makeup and worrying—more or less constantly—about not having the body of a twenty-something dancer. One of the things that most interested me about the book, though, is the way the cogs are visible. Not the cogs of ballet; I've read plenty of other behind-the-scenes books about dance/performance. Rather, we see a lot of Kessler's process of research and writing. I'm not convinced that it was a stylistic choice and not entirely convinced it worked—I could have used a little less 'and then I looked this up on the Internet and here's what I learned, and here's a snarky comment to go with it' and a little more seamless integration of research—but in a way it mirrors the behind-the-scenes sense of the ballet.
There's so much self-doubt and negative self-talk that it's hard to tell how well Kessler did in The Nutcracker (on an objective, performance-only level—on a personal-fulfillment level it sounds pretty satisfying), although that might be in part because there's not all that much about the performances themselves. But there's never any hint from the professionals that there were insurmountable problems, and according to the Internet* she returned to dance the same role the following year. So...sounds like a success, and now I rather want to read Full-Court Press.
*Yes, I am a hypocrite.
August 27, 2016
My friend Sarah once told me a cool story about how her mother danced the lead in the Nutcracker, on pointe, in her 50s, as a part of a troupe of older ballet dancers. I thought that was amazing. I took ballet as a kid, for many many years, despite having no talent, an uncooperative body (falling arches, inflexible, no turnout), and always being a half beat behind the music. But I loved it and it worked for me, until I needed to actually have some skill or talent to continue. In college, I stopped. I was good at one thing--going on pointe. I tried it again last year even though my old pointe shoes didn't fit anymore, and I still could do it, no problem.
I was captivated the minute I saw this book in a bookstore. However, I didn't read the description and I assumed it was something like what Sarah's mother did, and that misunderstanding meant I liked the book a little less, although that's no fault of the book.
Instead, Lauren was like me and took ballet as a child. Unlike me, she had dreams of being a professional that lasted beyond first grade. But then she quit before I did because, at the time she needed to dramatically increase her ballet immersion if she were to pursue a professional career as an adult, instead her teacher told her mother that Lauren had no hope of that, mostly due to her body type. Unbeknownst to both of them, Lauren overheard the conversation which hurt her deeply. She quit that day.
But she still loved the ballet. She saw many, but especially the Nutcracker which she saw every year in her hometown of Portland, OR. And one year her husband went off to Paris on a long business trip in December without Lauren, and she decided to splurge and see a half dozen Nutcrackers all around the country. But that wasn't enough. She wanted more. So she spoke to the president of the company that performs Portland's Nutcracker every year and got her to agree that Lauren could dance a role in the next year's performance.
Well that's a little crazy. It's never mentioned but surely she partly agreed for the publicity angle, otherwise there's zero reason to agree to let a stranger, middle-aged, slightly overweight, not in ballet shape, who hasn't danced in about 30 years, do this. But she does. And Lauren then spends the bulk of the book procrastinating, doing exercising she knows is wrong, and pre-pre-pre-preparing for ballet. I have a quibble with how late she finally took adult ballet, considering how much faith the company was putting in her and how remarkable this opportunity was. She then spent a lot of time complaining about her body, especially her arms, while not apparently doing much about them, and while talking about how awful it is when women complain about their bodies. Sigh. But then she got up to when she was rehearsing with the company and I really enjoyed that. She got to know most of the professional dancers and they all had fascinating stories (I wish, in fact, she'd gotten into that more.) I loved the history of The Nutcracker, which is king of kooky (and meant I got a trivia question right later that week!)
Overall, while the book was uneven, I did enjoy it. It's great for any former ballet students who once had aspirations that have since been dashed. It's for the former snowflakes and former soldiers everywhere (yep, those are the roles I had in the junior ballet in my youth.) I wish she was a little less obsessed with "leos" (is that really how people talk about leotards today? It sounded affected.) and partly, the narration might have impacted how I found her to be somewhat self-obsessed and smug. Maybe print would have been better. But I still am glad I read it.
I was captivated the minute I saw this book in a bookstore. However, I didn't read the description and I assumed it was something like what Sarah's mother did, and that misunderstanding meant I liked the book a little less, although that's no fault of the book.
Instead, Lauren was like me and took ballet as a child. Unlike me, she had dreams of being a professional that lasted beyond first grade. But then she quit before I did because, at the time she needed to dramatically increase her ballet immersion if she were to pursue a professional career as an adult, instead her teacher told her mother that Lauren had no hope of that, mostly due to her body type. Unbeknownst to both of them, Lauren overheard the conversation which hurt her deeply. She quit that day.
But she still loved the ballet. She saw many, but especially the Nutcracker which she saw every year in her hometown of Portland, OR. And one year her husband went off to Paris on a long business trip in December without Lauren, and she decided to splurge and see a half dozen Nutcrackers all around the country. But that wasn't enough. She wanted more. So she spoke to the president of the company that performs Portland's Nutcracker every year and got her to agree that Lauren could dance a role in the next year's performance.
Well that's a little crazy. It's never mentioned but surely she partly agreed for the publicity angle, otherwise there's zero reason to agree to let a stranger, middle-aged, slightly overweight, not in ballet shape, who hasn't danced in about 30 years, do this. But she does. And Lauren then spends the bulk of the book procrastinating, doing exercising she knows is wrong, and pre-pre-pre-preparing for ballet. I have a quibble with how late she finally took adult ballet, considering how much faith the company was putting in her and how remarkable this opportunity was. She then spent a lot of time complaining about her body, especially her arms, while not apparently doing much about them, and while talking about how awful it is when women complain about their bodies. Sigh. But then she got up to when she was rehearsing with the company and I really enjoyed that. She got to know most of the professional dancers and they all had fascinating stories (I wish, in fact, she'd gotten into that more.) I loved the history of The Nutcracker, which is king of kooky (and meant I got a trivia question right later that week!)
Overall, while the book was uneven, I did enjoy it. It's great for any former ballet students who once had aspirations that have since been dashed. It's for the former snowflakes and former soldiers everywhere (yep, those are the roles I had in the junior ballet in my youth.) I wish she was a little less obsessed with "leos" (is that really how people talk about leotards today? It sounded affected.) and partly, the narration might have impacted how I found her to be somewhat self-obsessed and smug. Maybe print would have been better. But I still am glad I read it.
October 26, 2015
Thanks so much to Edelweiss for the ARC of this awesome book which resonated deeply with me. If you're a "midlife" woman thinking about change and renewal=- and if you ever liked ballet- this is the book for you. Kessler hit a real nerve as she finally fulfilled her ballet dream which was quashed when she was a child. (My mother was the one who killed mine by telling me I just wasn't graceful enough). At the same time, her exploration of our need to be perfect made me think about my own situation. AND for those of you who have taken dance exercise classes- I've been in that barre class with the lithesome 20 year olds- READ THIS BOOK! Kessler does all of this with a light voice and a great sense of humor, especially about herself. Incredibly readable, Highly recommend.
July 7, 2020
This is another book I got from my ballet teacher, and really, I should have loved it - it's about a "middle-aged" woman attempting to dance in the Nutcracker, for pity's sake (my ballet class is currently deep in rehearsal for a Nutcracker performance in December).
But there was something about the simultaneously self-deprecating and self-satisfied tone of the book that grated on me. Also, it's halfway through the book before the author even steps foot in a ballet studio, and even then she starts skipping ballet classes in favor of Pilates and something called "Barre3". I kind of thought: if you're as in love with ballet as you claim to be, how are you not actually dancing every chance you get?
The parts that did resonate with me were her body-image issues (yes, it's hard to see yourself reflected in a wall of mirrors while wearing a leotard), her struggles with achieving the grace and transcendence of ballet instead of just stumbling over your own feet, and what it's like to actually be a performer - namely, the repetition, the tedium, the cramped dressing rooms, the cold stages, the general, lengthy discomfort before the relatively short period of time you actually get to *perform* (I know it from ballet and especially from playing in a band. It's not a glamorous life.).
But there was something about the simultaneously self-deprecating and self-satisfied tone of the book that grated on me. Also, it's halfway through the book before the author even steps foot in a ballet studio, and even then she starts skipping ballet classes in favor of Pilates and something called "Barre3". I kind of thought: if you're as in love with ballet as you claim to be, how are you not actually dancing every chance you get?
The parts that did resonate with me were her body-image issues (yes, it's hard to see yourself reflected in a wall of mirrors while wearing a leotard), her struggles with achieving the grace and transcendence of ballet instead of just stumbling over your own feet, and what it's like to actually be a performer - namely, the repetition, the tedium, the cramped dressing rooms, the cold stages, the general, lengthy discomfort before the relatively short period of time you actually get to *perform* (I know it from ballet and especially from playing in a band. It's not a glamorous life.).
February 1, 2016
An inspiring read of a woman forgoing "good sense" and taking back the passion she'd had as a little girl of the world of ballet, enough to train and dance the nutcracker.
I really enjoyed the candid view of the modern dancer's everyday struggles, the insight into famous past dancers stories, and even the introduction on the overwhelming affect the nutcracker has had on the world.
I found myself getting really tired, however, of how hard she was on herself--berating her performance and her body with startling consistency. Maybe I'm just tired of women being so awful to themselves in general, but her joking manner of her hurtful comments towards herself got old, quick.
I really enjoyed the candid view of the modern dancer's everyday struggles, the insight into famous past dancers stories, and even the introduction on the overwhelming affect the nutcracker has had on the world.
I found myself getting really tired, however, of how hard she was on herself--berating her performance and her body with startling consistency. Maybe I'm just tired of women being so awful to themselves in general, but her joking manner of her hurtful comments towards herself got old, quick.
March 4, 2017
A 45 year-old-woman revisits her childhood dream of dancing in The Nutcracker? I was immediately intrigued! But this book would have been a better series of articles in Rolling Stone - their detailed accounts of behind-the-scenes life keep us hungering for more. This book had lots of repetitive details and not enough juicy ones. A decent read for a true Nutcracker lover, but save the money for a ballet class instead.
December 26, 2015
Such a fun read...courageous, humorous and inspiring. I love the way Kessler writes, and as a former professional dancer, I can say that she's done her homework...I even learned a few new things about ballet. This is a perfect gift for ballet fans, adult ballet students, or anyone who's ever harbored the secret dream of becoming a dancer.
December 11, 2020
I really enjoyed spending the holiday season living the life of a dancer getting ready for The Nutcracker! Kessler does talk about the challenges facing dancers and trying to fit in when you are in your "mid-life" with professional dancers, but what I truly enjoyed was her discussion of the ballet itself. Made me want to dance around the living room!
May 24, 2021
This book hit closer to my heart than most books. I saw it and I know it is not good to have preconceived ideas about how the book will go, but I had them, and they were nothing like the book. You see, I too, have a life-changing event in ballet when I was younger, although, it was the opposite of Lauren's experience, it has colored my life since. When I was a child I took from a renowned ballet teacher who told my mother that I was, "one in a million" and that I should take class as often as I could because he was giving me a "free-ride" scholarship. Shortly after, a move to a small town dashed those dreams. Not being able to pursue my passion and dream of becoming a ballet dancer has been a life-long regret. Much time has passed, and I have dabbled as an adult in ballet, until six years ago. Life circumstances put another renowned fantastic teacher in my path (who enjoys teaching adults!), and I have been enmeshed and impassioned about ballet ever since. I am now 62 and I am on pointe and dancing twenty hours a week, and until Covid struck, was performing twice a year. Covid also brought an end to performing as my teacher left for another state. All of this being said, I THOUGHT this book was about someone like me who "earned" a spot in a ballet through hard work and I looked forward to reading it because I thought it would show me how another older person had persevered and overcame obvious age-related obstacles to earn a spot in a ballet. I WAS WRONG. While I enjoyed the book, particularly the part about actually performing, but I am so sad that it wasn't the inspiring tale I SO wished it could have been.
February 1, 2018
A middle-aged woman dancing in one of the most classic ballets seems a bit far-fetched to some, especially when you find out she hasn't danced a day since she was a wee pre-teen. Sheer determination and will to find enjoyment in something that was solely hers drove Kessler to concur the odds and get out on that stage.
Were their missteps? Sure. Bumps and bruises of the ego, not just the physical. But everything Kessler mentioned was something we ALL can relate to. And she worked through it. Nothing about this memoir is showy or preachy and that may be what was the most motivating part of it. She knew her limits, acknowledged her errors and still kept on trucking. At no point did I feel like she was telling me "look how perfect this can all turn out if you just follow these simple steps!" It was more like, "look how hard you work but you can still fall on your ass... and get back up."
This was a joy to read. Light, funny and inspiring, Kessler made me want to bust out my ballet slippers and head straight to class.
Were their missteps? Sure. Bumps and bruises of the ego, not just the physical. But everything Kessler mentioned was something we ALL can relate to. And she worked through it. Nothing about this memoir is showy or preachy and that may be what was the most motivating part of it. She knew her limits, acknowledged her errors and still kept on trucking. At no point did I feel like she was telling me "look how perfect this can all turn out if you just follow these simple steps!" It was more like, "look how hard you work but you can still fall on your ass... and get back up."
This was a joy to read. Light, funny and inspiring, Kessler made me want to bust out my ballet slippers and head straight to class.
July 16, 2017
This book was very different than I expected it to be. I enjoy almost anything having to do with dance, but most dance books are too dark and depressing for me. I expected Raising the Barre to be a lighthearted story about a woman's desire to perform the Nutcracker in her fifties. This is partly accurate, but this story was much less lighthearted than I expected. Many chapters deal with body image, success, failure, and fulfillment. I'm definitely not saying this was a bad thing, but just be aware that these are the kind of things you will encounter in the story. That said, this book was pretty enjoyable. I learned many things about the inner workings of a professional ballet company and some interesting insight into the mindset of some of the most famous dancers of all time. The story did drag a bit at some points (mainly the motivational bits), but overall it was a very interesting book.
March 7, 2016
Kessler specializes in “immersion journalism,” diving into unfamiliar worlds and writing about it. She did it with nursing homes, basketball, and anti-aging techniques. She has done it again with ballet. At age 55, not having danced since she was a child, she decides she wants to dance in The Nutcracker with Oregon’s Eugene Ballet Company. But how can she do that at this age and stage of life? A lot of hard work and a lot of feeling old and clumsy among skinny ballerinas in their 20s. She does indeed realize her dream and gives us another good book along the way. We learn a lot about dance and dancers as well as the psychology of pursuing dreams that seem impossible, and we’ll never look at The Nutcracker the same way again.
December 8, 2015
Lauren Kessler proved it’s never too late to follow your dreams. She was a devotee of the Nutcracker so despite a busy schedule as a mother, university professor, and writer, Kessler devoted herself to getting in shape to dance in her city’s yearly ballet production. This is a perfect book for those of us in our midlife years yearning to realize our dreams of roller derby participation or of learning to execute a double Axel in figure skating--OK,so at age 63 I'm a little beyond "midlife" years, so I'm not about to court broken bones by derby racing or learning to ice-skate, but it's nice to know it's a possibility.
December 30, 2015
An amazing story about a woman who decides she wants to shake up her life and dance in The Nutcracker. This book is about overcoming obstacles and pushing yourself to accomplish things you thought were out of reach. She's funny, relatable, and you'll cheer for her until the very end.
March 27, 2023
This is a very insightful and enjoyable read for someone who returned to performing later in life (started acting after a ten year hiatus) and just began adult ballet classes after a few musicals of trying to keep up with the other girls. It really shows what grit, determination, and a love for an art can really do for you.
Also, the author is a heavy intellectually driven person like myself (how can you not when you’re a life long classically trained instrumentalist?), and has the exact same issues about getting out of her head that I do (I’ve had a choreographer poke me in the forehead and tell me she can see me thinking and I need to stop— don’t worry, she’s a friend now so it’s cool). It gives me a bit more hope that one day I can just dance and not analyze every part of it.
Overall a solid 4.5/5. Goodreads needs half stars.
Also, the author is a heavy intellectually driven person like myself (how can you not when you’re a life long classically trained instrumentalist?), and has the exact same issues about getting out of her head that I do (I’ve had a choreographer poke me in the forehead and tell me she can see me thinking and I need to stop— don’t worry, she’s a friend now so it’s cool). It gives me a bit more hope that one day I can just dance and not analyze every part of it.
Overall a solid 4.5/5. Goodreads needs half stars.
September 18, 2022
Really enjoyed this memoir about a middle-aged writing professor who decided to make her lifelong obsession with the Nutcracker ballet into both a journalistic endeavor into its history and importance as a cultural phenomenon and a checked off bucket list item by training her body in the art of dance after a decades long absence to become adequate enough to perform in the show with a local company. Kessler is a great writer with a conversational style and a unique and inspiring approach to life and ambition. I was rooting for her and inspired by her and I loved all the ballet background in the book. A fun read- recommended to ballet fans and women who want to read about a woman whose children are grown and career is stable still following her dreams. 4 stars
December 30, 2019
I really enjoyed this book, perhaps because I spent many years watching relatives dance in The Nutcracker, and so have warm memories of the ballet. It was fun to go behind the scenes of a professional ballet company, fascinating to learn the (surprisingly violent) history of the Nutcracker story itself, and inspiring to follow a middle-aged woman as she challenges herself to get into the best shape of her life, all so she can fulfill her once-thwarted childhood dream: dancing in The Nutcracker ballet.
December 11, 2020
I really enjoyed spending the holiday season living the life of a dancer getting ready for The Nutcracker! Kessler does talk about the challenges facing dancers and trying to fit in when you are in your "mid-life" with professional dancers, but what I truly enjoyed was her discussion of the ballet itself. Made me want to dance around the living room!
July 20, 2016
Raising the Barre.
The first 5 chapters can be summed up by one paragraph from chapter 8.
"I've delved into the murky depths of why I want to do this. I've ferreted out the fears and anxieties and bolstered myself with the collected wisdom of others. I've got my you-can-do-it affirmations and mantras all lined up. I know more about the origins and permutations of The Nutcracker than any person not completing a doctoral dissertation on the subject."
Some of the facts are interesting. But I could have gone without all the insight into the authors personal psyche surrounding her new goal. Maybe I'm too young of a reader to appreciate all the self observations. Honestly I just wanted to dive right into the journey to dancing The Nutcracker and found chapters two through five boring. Chapter one was good and I enjoyed her endeavor to see the Nutcracker all over the US, and her character which ultimately led to her deciding to do something that sounded crazy! If it wasn't for the enjoyment of chapter one I might not have gotten through the next 4 and called it quits on this one.
Chapter 10 kinda a little disappointment there. The author starts a timeline format to, what I feel like, rush through some of the months and the process. Where's the detail I was getting used to? Maybe she did this to mimic the chapters title, the bulls eye, to show how much emphasis she needed to put on her dancing. Maybe she just didn't have as much detail about these days. To me it feels more like we're halfway through the book maybe I better speed things up. I would have gladly seen the non-existence of the boring chapters in exchange for more of her dance related experiences she was going through.
The rest of the book was exactly what I expected and the reason I bought it. I enjoyed the authors adventure through preparation and training and rehearsing to dance in the nutcracker with her local ballet company. Maybe this book was geared more for older women and gave more self help and insight into the struggles of what they go through mentally. Which is maybe why I didn't enjoy it as much as I was expecting buying it just for the love of dance and the dream we all have of being able to accomplish something we wish we could have done earlier in life.
The first 5 chapters can be summed up by one paragraph from chapter 8.
"I've delved into the murky depths of why I want to do this. I've ferreted out the fears and anxieties and bolstered myself with the collected wisdom of others. I've got my you-can-do-it affirmations and mantras all lined up. I know more about the origins and permutations of The Nutcracker than any person not completing a doctoral dissertation on the subject."
Some of the facts are interesting. But I could have gone without all the insight into the authors personal psyche surrounding her new goal. Maybe I'm too young of a reader to appreciate all the self observations. Honestly I just wanted to dive right into the journey to dancing The Nutcracker and found chapters two through five boring. Chapter one was good and I enjoyed her endeavor to see the Nutcracker all over the US, and her character which ultimately led to her deciding to do something that sounded crazy! If it wasn't for the enjoyment of chapter one I might not have gotten through the next 4 and called it quits on this one.
Chapter 10 kinda a little disappointment there. The author starts a timeline format to, what I feel like, rush through some of the months and the process. Where's the detail I was getting used to? Maybe she did this to mimic the chapters title, the bulls eye, to show how much emphasis she needed to put on her dancing. Maybe she just didn't have as much detail about these days. To me it feels more like we're halfway through the book maybe I better speed things up. I would have gladly seen the non-existence of the boring chapters in exchange for more of her dance related experiences she was going through.
The rest of the book was exactly what I expected and the reason I bought it. I enjoyed the authors adventure through preparation and training and rehearsing to dance in the nutcracker with her local ballet company. Maybe this book was geared more for older women and gave more self help and insight into the struggles of what they go through mentally. Which is maybe why I didn't enjoy it as much as I was expecting buying it just for the love of dance and the dream we all have of being able to accomplish something we wish we could have done earlier in life.
December 29, 2016
Good read. She accomplished her mission and took the reader along for the whole trip. I would give it five stars but there were just too many editing errors. I find it very annoying that she does not know that the man's name is Duke Ellington, not Duke Wellington. I find it hard to believe that anyone who was born and raised in America would make that mistake. But there were several other mistakes as well. For example I'm pretty sure that Misty Copeland did not study at the School of American Ballet. She has always been an American Ballet Theatre girl. And there were several other glaring editing oversights but I didn't write them down. Overall though it was a very good read, very engaging, laugh out loud funny in parts, and she managed to convey the irony of Ballet, how it's so beautiful on the stage but underlying that beauty there is so much unbelievably hard work and sweat and grit and blood and tears. She doesn't belabor the point but she makes the point. I would definitely recommend this to just about anyone who is interested in memoirs about dance. Or middle age. Midlife is a lot of what the book is about.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 9, 2016
An amazing book about a woman who decides to pursue a childhood dream at midlife. I laughed and cried throughout this book. Kessler is funny, witty, and stunningly honest about her experiences. If you have ever taken an intermediate or advanced ballet class (much less a company class!), you know how intimidating it is to be the newcomer in the professional word of ballet.
If I had the time, I would read this book again and again. The author helped me jump out of my own comfort zone in many ways, and I'm thrilled to have read this book. "Inspirational" is an understatement when it comes to summarizing this book.
If I had the time, I would read this book again and again. The author helped me jump out of my own comfort zone in many ways, and I'm thrilled to have read this book. "Inspirational" is an understatement when it comes to summarizing this book.
June 2, 2016
This non-fiction book about a middle-aged woman who decides to live her dream and dance in her favorite ballet, The Nutcracker, is a great read for those who are interested in or who love ballet. This is a very realistic look at what it takes to be a dancer in a ballet company. The author, who is a professional writer, does a good job at showing the dedication it took for her to succeed in her quest even though her time on stage was brief. For anyone who took ballet as a child (like me) and had dreams of becoming a ballerina - this provided a cold, clear look at what life would have been like had that dream come to fruition.
March 18, 2020
This is another book I found at The Dollar Tree. A good account of how a woman over 50 decided to finally do something about her obsession with The Nutcracker and her long-ago desire to be a ballerina. She actually started seriously studying ballet again and dedicated herself to a difficult regimen to get back in shape and got a part in The Nutcracker. It was inspiring to read her detailed account, and eye-opening to find out what the life of a professional dancer is really like. It's more grueling than glamorous.
January 31, 2016
Author, teacher Lauren Kessler embarks on a year-long mission to train for and dance in The Nutcracker Ballet. She tells her story with humor and candor (and in some places too much detail.) Along the way she imparts life lessons learned about striving for a goal and stretching yourself out of your comfort zone to keep yourself fresh and alive (at any age.) She also objectively examines the life of dancers: their passion for the art, the grueling rehearsal and performance schedules, their struggle with body image, and their sacrifice of "normal" lives to pursue their dreams.
December 31, 2016
A middle aged woman is obsessed with the Nutcracker ballet. She was an aspiring child ballerina until a pivotal age when her teacher stated her body was not ideal and she gave up. As an adult, she learns all dancers are told this, yet the successful ones have the determination to ignore that information and work harder to achieve their dream. She undertakes a year long journey to transform into a Nutcracker ballerina working, touring and performing alongside the pros. This book has prime behind-the-curtain dish from a very secluded world.
March 22, 2016
I know this person.
I was a professional ballerina in NYC. I've directed many Nutcrackers since and I've heard her story many times from cast members. " I always wanted to do this and never thought I could." But Lauren captured so much with her skills of choosing the words and phrases that spoke as easily as our center allegro speaks to us. I marvel at her precise language. It took me back. I loved every moment.
I was a professional ballerina in NYC. I've directed many Nutcrackers since and I've heard her story many times from cast members. " I always wanted to do this and never thought I could." But Lauren captured so much with her skills of choosing the words and phrases that spoke as easily as our center allegro speaks to us. I marvel at her precise language. It took me back. I loved every moment.
July 13, 2016
A humorous account of a woman who decides to return to her childhood passion of ballet and attempt to dance in a production of The Nutcracker. Balancing her will to improve herself while tending to the needs of her family is admirable. Her affection for the members of the troupe comes through loud and clear. This is a great read for anyone who has ever thought about trying to conquer that impossible dream one more time.
August 19, 2016
I went into this book expecting to love it. I am a 30-something competitive figure skater and so I'm no stranger to trying for something that is thought to be "for the kids." But for some reason, I just couldn't seem to get into it. I think it's because this book was less about entering a new world and more about overcoming fear and inner demons and things life that. The author also mentions her other books (especially the one about middle age) quite often.
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