An Improbable Friendship: The Remarkable Lives of Israeli Ruth Dayan and Palestinian Raymonda Tawil and Their Forty-Year Peace Mission

by Anthony David

An Improbable Friendship is the dual biography of Israeli Ruth Dayan, now ninety-eight, who was Moshe Dayan’s wife for thirty-seven years, and Palestinian journalist Raymonda Tawil, Yasser Arafat’s mother-in-law, now seventy-four. It reveals for the first time the two women’s surprising and secret forty-year friendship and delivers the story of their extraordinary and turbulent lives growing up in a war-torn country.

Based on personal interviews, diaries, and journals drawn from both women—Ruth lives today in Tel Aviv, Raymonda in Malta—author Anthony David delivers a fast-paced, fascinating narrative that is a beautiful story of reconciliation and hope in a climate of endless conflict. By experiencing their stories and following their budding relationship, which began after the Six-Day War in 1967, we learn the behind-the-scenes, undisclosed history of the Middle East’s most influential leaders from two prominent women on either side of the ongoing conflict.

An award-winning biographer and historian, Anthony David brings us the story of unexpected friendship while he discovers the true pasts of two outstanding women. Their story gives voice to Israelis and Palestinians caught in the Middle East conflict and holds a persistent faith in a future of peace.

Skyhorse Publishing, along with our Arcade, Good Books, Sports Publishing, and Yucca imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of biographies, autobiographies, and memoirs. Our list includes biographies on well-known historical figures like Benjamin Franklin, Nelson Mandela, and Alexander Graham Bell, as well as villains from history, such as Heinrich Himmler, John Wayne Gacy, and O. J. Simpson. We have also published survivor stories of World War II, memoirs about overcoming adversity, first-hand tales of adventure, and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller or a national bestseller, we are committed to books on subjects that are sometimes overlooked and to authors whose work might not otherwise find a home.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Middle East, History, Politics, Memoir, Biography Memoir

312 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2015

Reviews

[Karin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book as a memoir/biography choice, thinking I would learn more about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, which I did. I did not expect to like it as much as I did. As a matter of fact, I found it hard to put down and stayed up waaaaay too late reading.

This is a book about two extraordinary women living through extraordinary times. Their enduring friendship, despite being on opposite sides of the fence, is a testimony to the goodness that lies in the human heart. This book gives me hope.

I recommend it wholeheartedly!

[Marge Rudman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Opportunity tragically missed

One weeps! For the Isrealies and Palestinians the golden window of opportunity for a workable country in the Holy Land was dashed by hard-liners. Had the leadership of the factions followed the leadership of these two marvelous women the Middle East might very well be a different place today. The stories of these two women and their friendship is an inspiration. The writer's clean, straight-forward style and empathy for all parties gives us a most worthy read for anyone interested in this chapter of the human journey.

[SK · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed the subject matter of An Improbable Friendship but found the writing style a bit grating. (The use of all-caps to signify yelling should be banned in print.) Also, the opening and concluding chapters are a bit hokey for my tastes. I'm interested in learning more about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but I doubt I'll pick up another book by this author. That being said, I appreciate his mission and his clear, though perhaps unrealistic, desire to be objective.

[Karen Schmit · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved learning the personal history and friendship of these 2 women who come from such different backgrounds. The history of Israel and Palestine is amazingly complex and the tales this author relays had me riveted to this book. He shone a bright light on the history, the ongoing chaos and the pleas for change. I was often a bit confused who the author was referring to, so pay close attention and take your time reading it........ This book is a big achievement for Raymonda (mother in law of Yasser Arafat) and Ruth Dayan (wife of Moshe Dayan). Thank you, Anthony David, for hanging in there with these two women so you could tell their story of friendship and hardship. You have written a truly wonderful book.

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book because I was unaware of these 2 women & their connection to the seemingly unsolvable conflict in Palestine. I suspected (correctly) I’d come away convinced that if they’d have been in charge, things would probably have improved. It’s an insightful look behind the scenes, and incredibly frustrating. How many people have died? These 2 women recognized that peace could only be achieved through connection & love. It was just too difficult a concept for the macho men in power to grasp. And here we are. 😢

[MariaWitBook · Rating 5 out of 5]

For the first time I can see clearly the Israel and Palestine ... dilemma?!

[Morgan Russell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating book about an incredibly unlikely pairing of friends. I really enjoyed this, very historical and detailed but very interesting!

[Olivia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad to finish this. Why? Many reasons. In the midst of the centenary of the Balfour Declaration (on Palestine) it would be a good read for anyone.
It is a generous history. What do I mean by that? Well it is a well written combination of personal, local and world history from a grounded standpoint. The two woman are Ruth Dayan, wife of Israeli General Moshe Dayan and Raymonda Tawil, mother-in-law of Yasser Arafat. Their lives did not begin at those points, they were not always 'at that moment' which came to define them in the public eye. And crucially, they would not allow those public eye moments to define who they were as women or intellects. They were, and are, their own people. Ruth Dayan still alive today at 100+ is chipper as ever with an opinion on all there is to think about.
It made me smile a good deal, despite the serious, horrific and traumatising nature of the world and personal views being described. The Inception of Israel following the 1933-45 rise of Fascicsm/Nazism, the Holocaust and the blockades for Israel. The misunderstandings which followed as to how Palestine and Israel could be expected to divide Palestine yet tolerate each other as Semitic brethren.
Many family and friends had been partisan in these events. The book called to mind in detail their voices and their concerns for the past, the 6day war and the future. Even now. Many of those people loved or disliked, with their differing views of politics, prejudice or justice, have passed on, their voices alive in my own mind even today.
Some alive still, continue on with the same litany of 'causes' for loathing and further Israel-Palestine wars. These are issues separate from the Middle-Eastern/US Oil crisis. They were not and are not ever the same 'wars'.

These two women are not so improbable I believe. Why? Because they both identified issues beyond the topical wars or revenge. Mirror images in some ways. Strong women with heart. Women of character. Women who could bridge the apparent vengeances to see that in the finish there would need to be acceptance that the unilateral political decisions will not make the desired inroads to peace and settlement unless the people with shared cultures themselves accept there is a time to work together for a common humanitarian future. A future acknowledging commonly shared histories.
Strong women with strong views on politics, family and cultural perspectives. Women able to offer insights into the public figures of their families, their governments and the attendant world-views of the times.

[Therese · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some people may consider the friendship of Ruth Dayan, an Israeli and the former wife of Moshe Dayan and Raymonda Tawil, a Palestinian and the former mother-in-law of Yasser Arafat to be improbable, but I have a feeling friendships like these have existed since the dawn of time, at least when men has been in charge of wars. These women worked to have peace, but the Israelis and Palestinians can’t trust each other, and while I didn’t think this was so much a book about their friendship (they weren’t mentioned together until more than halfway through the book) but about Middle Eastern history, in particularly of Israel, they both worked for peace, and in my opinion Raymonda did much more, not to mention is still in exile.

I am not very familiar with all of the history of the Middle East, but after World War II, when nobody wanted the Jews who had been hunted down and what amounted to the Holocaust, and so the powers that be decided they would give them the land that the Palestinians already occupied. This was a recipe for war that continues to this day. Both women believe that the answer is bringing people together not keeping them separate. Of course we as Americans learned that in our history, and are still learning it, and one would only hope that others could learn from our mistakes. Alas this is not true because we don’t even learn from our own mistakes.

I learned some things in this book, but it was far from being a fast-paced narrative as Good Reads claims. I trudged through this story because I wanted to learn more, and I have to say I admire both of these women, but Raymonda even more by being a Christian (she was baptized Catholic) Palestinian, and more than anything else feminist as her mother was.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Frustrating but worthwhile reading. The book feels rather scattershot - a series of random tidbits rather than a cohesive narrative - but perhaps that's inevitable given the 80-odd years of Israeli and Palestinian history it attempts to cover.

It's very engaging and readable - I whipped through it in a couple of sittings, which is not, well, typical when I'm reading up on how to achieve peace in the Middle East.

The book endlessly (but briefly) notes what happened, while I would have loved to see far more about *why*. Why did the Israelis/ Palestinians feel it necessary to do x? What was the significance? How did it lead to the next thing? What might have been the alternatives? But of course, that would have resulted in thousands of pages, so I don't really feel like it's an entirely fair criticism. Still, I think the author's attempt to bend over backwards to show both sides means that he tended to avoid deeper analysis and the insight it might have provided.

In the end, I am glad I read it, even though I am not entirely sure what knowledge I have gained other than a profound depression that while perhaps there really were periods when peace and democracy were conceivable in Israel, Netanyahu has now taken the country far beyond the possibility of return.

[Mary L. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good story; editing could have been better

Good story. Story told well but not well written. Story jumped around. In sections that seemed dedicated to one aspect, others inserted. Editing lacking- many words spelled differently through out. Sometimes on same page. Distracting.

Particularly appreciated occasional references to US and other countries reactions to events. Impact of Balfour might have been referenced.

[Debi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Insightful story about the friendship of Ruth Dayan and Raymonda Tawil, two strong, intelligent and driven women with power and position on either side of the Palestinian-Israeli crisis. It was fascinating to hear about their individual lives and their combined work. I recommend this book, but with a strong caveat: the writing is horrible. It read more like a long Wikipedia article. Such a shame that this important story wasn’t given a better presentation.

[Bea · Rating 2 out of 5]

This would be a good book for someone who already understands the history, geography and who's who of the Middle East. I finally gave up after getting about halfway through it. I thought it was like reading a list of facts and people, without much passion, and I couldn't keep them all straight. When I realized that I felt like I had to drag myself back to this book, I just quit reading it.

[Parę słów o książkach · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rut i Raymonda przyjaźnią się już ponad czterdzieści lat. Przyjaź�� nie powinna być żadnym zaskoczeniem, gdyby nie to, że w ich przypadku nie miała prawa się ona zdarzyć. Rut Dajan to Izraelka, żona Mosze Dajana, polityka znanego z niechęci do Palestyńczyków. Zaś Raymonda Tawil to palestyńska dziennikarka, która od zawsze nienawidziła Dajana, a przez to i jego bliskich. Jak to się stało, że losy tych dwóch kobiet splotły się na tyle mocno, by przerodzić się w przyjaźń?

"Nieprawdopodobna przyjaźń" to połączona biografia obu kobiet, a także historia ich wieloletniej przyjaźni. Już sam tytuł wskazuje na to, że ta przyjaźń nie powinna się była nigdy zdarzyć, a jednak się udało. Raymonda miała misję niesienia dobra i ukojenia bólu w kraju przepełnionym walką i cierpieniem, a Rut nie chciała odpowiadać za krzywdy wyrządzone przez potwora, w którego zmienił się jej ukochany Mosze.

Anthony David dokładnie opisał życiorysy obu kobiet, opierając się zarówno na ich własnych wspomnieniach, jak i zachowanych pamiątkach. Jego długie rozmowy pozwoliły na uszeregowanie chronologiczne wydarzeń, przez co książkę czyta się szybko i płynnie. Choć sama nie zawsze jestem przekonana do biografii, tak sposób opisywania historii przez Davida mnie ujął i zarówno ubolewałam nad wydarzeniami związanymi z wojną, jak i żałowałam, że w moim egzemplarzu jest zbyt mało stron.

Obie panie zaprezentowane są jako żywiołowe kobiety pełne energii i marzeń. Choć rozpoczęły życie i swoje działania w trudych dla swoich narodów czasach, to wierzą, marzą i działają, o czym naprawdę dobrze się czyta. Niejeden raz zdarzyło mi się zapomnieć, że nie są fikcyjnymi bohaterkami, a prawdziwymi kobietami z krwi i kości.

Mimo że w ostatnim czasie czytuję więcej biografii i autobiografii niż kiedykolwiek, to wciąż nie jestem do końca przekonana do tego gatunku przez sposób prowadzenia narracji. Anthony David swoim bestsellerem udowodnił, że można stworzyć historię ciekawie prowadzoną, wartką i przejrzystą, a jednocześnie opartą na faktach. "Nieprawdopodobna przyjaźń" podniesie Was na duchu, wzruszy, zasmuci, a jednocześnie może Was zaboleć serce lub odwrotnie - buzia od śmiania się. Książka jest pełna sprzeczności, tak jak jej bohaterki i wciąż nie dowierzam jak to się stało, że te dwie zupełnie różne panie o całkiem innych poglądach na większość tematów przyjaźnią się po dziś dzień.

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title, unfortunately, does not reflect the contents of this book. Other than a few brief, superficial references, virtually NOTHING was presented about the women's friendship. The first reference to it appears half way into the book: "[the women's friendship] grew through regular conversations over tea...."
Instead, the book focuses on the determined efforts of Raymonda Tawil (Yasser Arafat's mother-in-law) to bring Palestinians and Israelis together to resolve their differences and, to a far lesser degree, reveals the work of Ruth Dayan (Moshe Dayan's first wife) with immigrants and the poor to bring their crafts to market. It reveals the women's influence on leaders, but reveals virtually nothing about their personal
relationship.
The book was of value for the behind-the-scenes look at the Arab-Israeli conflict and the political machinations of the leaders and their associates. It also provides insight into the struggles (often violent, sometimes peaceful) of both peoples to find a solution to their ongoing conflict.

[Ilan Israel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anthony David writes an interesting book, about two extraordinary women on different sides of one of the most insoluble of political- religious conflicts, who forged a most unlikely longstanding friendship, despite all the odds.
I have lived in Israel for the last 45 years, and although I was aware of both the public activities of Ruth Dayan and Raymonda Tamil, I was unaware of their connection or of the details of their fascinating lives. So this book can be seen as an alternative account of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, a sort of “what if” women like these had been in positions of authority and actually making decisions. Would we be in a better place than we are now? The author hints at an affirmative answer.
I don’t believe that this book is suited for those who have no knowledge of the relationship between the Israeli Jews and the Palestinians but is a valuable addition to those who are familiar with the conflict but are open to another viewpoint.

[Karen Koppy · Rating 4 out of 5]

If the world were run by women it would be a better world. Will there ever be peace in the middle east? Not in my lifetime I'm sure. It's interesting the impact these women had on the leaders - to get them to back down on some of their ultra-conservative, macho, racist actions. But these efforts only seemed to change specific events, not anything that made real change. They were more anecdotal episodes that enabled a temporary change in plans, like the grieving Palestinian Christian family that wanted to enter Jordan to attend a funeral. Israeli soldiers wouldn't let them through. Ruth made a phone call and they were able to get through.
If women really had a voice in these countries (not just token seats) I truly believe they could make a real impact on furthering peace efforts.

[Pam Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very interesting and well-written story about two remarkable women--Ruth Dayan, widow of Moshe Dayan, and Raymonda Tawil, mother-in-law of Yassar Arafat. The two women worked on their own for many years trying to get freedom for their respective countries. Then, as friends, they worked together to try to get peace and freedom for their countries. I did have some difficulty keeping up with all the characters--excepet the main ones--as to who belonged to which country. I would also advise anyone reading it to have a map of the area handy unless you are very familiar with that part of the world. All in all, a good book, that I would recommend.

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating book based on interviews of Ruth Dayan, wife of Moshe Dayan, and Raymonda Tawil (mother in law of Arafat). Their personal lives and friendship tell the Israel-Arab/Palestine conflict on a personal level. I had trouble following some of the events and associations, but finished it satisfied that there is a humanistic solution to the complex issues and sad at the current direction of the geo political policies. A good example of strong, consistent women. A devastating story of male inhumanity, intolerance, and greed.

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate the learning experience, but I’m also relieved to finish this book. For me, getting into it was kind of like trying to enjoy a Magic Eye picture. If I relaxed and looked at the whole picture without concentrating on the distracting details (excessive name-dropping, all-caps shouting, unmemorable side stories), I gained tremendous perspective on a complex conflict and received the familiar message that connection leads to understanding. Overall, I’m glad I read it, especially the epilogue, but I will not reread it.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting look back at the past and see how the history of the tensions between Israel and Palestine developed. The two women from opposite sides, Ruth Dayan, wife of Moshe Dayan and Raymonda Tawil, Arafat's mother-in-law, found peace and harmony with each other and tried to work with each other's countries to find the same peace.

[Sandy Shin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great look at the lives of women related th imperfect men on opposing sides. A great read and thought provoking how little the religions were central in any of their lives, but appeared to be a central cause of the conflict. The women seem to be the only adults present

[Suzanne Saltzberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book. The two woman come off a little too saint-like and therefore loose some realism. The politics and positions are very left bias. Presents an interesting perspective even if it is one sided.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a whirlwind friendship! Ruth and Raymonda come from vastly different worlds, and their draw toward each other says much about the underlying longing for reconciliation that is an undercurrent through the Israeli and Palestinian communities.

[Shifra · Rating 1 out of 5]

Fifty-two percent of the way into this book I had no choice but to stop. I felt manipulated. The author is no great fan of the Jews or Israel. Much denigration, and ugliness in portraying the jews. Heavy-handed and obvious.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

e-book If these two women could do it, why can't something be worked out!!

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book about friendship between two women who belong to warring nations. The women want peace between there people but they face so much adversity. I learned so much about this cultural.

[David Miraldi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this an interesting read that brought new insights into the Israeli-Palestinian struggle.

[unknown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Humanity in a complex situation.

Amazing....these women made a difference. Thanks for sharing their story. If only men would listen, maybe things would be different.

[Lucy McCoskey · Rating 4 out of 5]

improbable but inspiring, frustrating, infuriating. the women are strong and fighting for what's right. but, oh the futility and the tragedy of it all!