Before I Disappear

by Cate Quinn

If she can't remember, her memories might not be the only thing that goes missing.

When criminologist April Anderson wakes in an unfamiliar hotel room with no memory of how she got there — or why she fled her comfortable life in New York— she's told she's under police protection, the only witness to a horrific crime.

With no memories and no answers to her repeated questions, April isn't sure who to trust — the cop guarding her, or the fiancé secretly tracking her. As April sifts through the wreckage of her own memories, she uncovers a version of herself she doesn't recognize, and secrets she'd rather forget.

As the trial date closes in, April realizes someone else wants her silent. Her missing memories aren't just the key to the case, they might be keeping her alive. Will she remember the truth… or disappear forever?

Genres: Thriller, Mystery, Mystery Thriller, Fiction, Suspense, Adult, Crime

393 pages, Kindle Edition

Expected publication November 10, 2026

About the author

Cate Quinn is a travel and lifestyle journalist for The Times, the Guardian and the Mirror, alongside many magazines. Prior to this, Quinn's background in historic research won prestigious postgraduate funding from the British Art Council. Quinn pooled these resources, combining historical research with first-hand experiences in far-flung places to create critically acclaimed and bestselling historical fiction.

Books by Cate Quinn - Black Widows and Blood Sisters

Reviews

[GCR | Book Realm]

eARC provided by Sourcebooks.

I enjoyed this one. It was a fast-paced read, and the mystery of what happened and what April couldn’t remember kept me invested the entire time because I was basically figuring everything out right along with her.

The intrigue stayed there from beginning to end, and I really liked how everything came together. The last third of the book really kept the twists coming, and the ending wrapped everything up well enough that the whole mystery felt worth following.

I’d recommend this to readers who like psychological thrillers, memory-loss mysteries, and stories that keep you questioning what’s actually going on until everything finally comes together.

[Hannah Stob]

This book was…fine? Confusing? A little all over the place? I’m definitely in the minority which is fine!

I think it was bringing too many plot twists together and trying a little too hard for me. I wanted to really enjoy the characters but they were all too unreliable for me to become invested in them.

I was also distracted and annoyed by the constant flashbacks and memories (which I completely understand was part of the point!!!) that it pulled me away from the story.

So yeah, I just think this one wasn’t for me but I can see it being a hit :)

Thank you Netgalley for this ARC!

[Simran K]

Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I rarely give 1 stars but wow this was horrible. Once again, great premise, absolutely awful execution. This is one of the most unrealistic and unbelievable stories I have ever read. Which witness protection program allows the witness to just wander off to town on their own and be left alone for extended periods of time. And don't get me started on the repetition of cotton threads and red silk. This entire story is a bunch of confusion about who April Anderson is for the first 90% of the novel and then randomly at the last 10% of the novel we get some "plot twists" and a mafia storyline. Lastly, what kind of man just leaves his wife for the witness he is protecting? Hollister goes on about his wife and son the entire time he's "protecting" April and then just leaves them for her? This sounds harsh but yes I am spoiling the story but only because I don't think anyone should waste their time reading this. Consider it a favor because its countless hours of my life that I will never get back.

[nicole]

thank you to Netgalley for the ARC.

yeah… i don’t really know what to say about this book.

it unfortunately was not a hit for me. none of the characters were likable and it felt like a cheap soap opera a lot of the time.

i’ve previously liked this author’s work, but this one didn’t resonate with me. obviously with ARCs you’re not getting the final version, but this book definitely needed some major editing still. a lot of grammatical mistakes and even characters somehow changing names at some points? it got confusing.

the main character was infuriating and her memories and actions just got repetitive at times. the big twist at the end was pretty ridiculous.

hopefully i’ll like the next book this author puts out!

[Megan]

Before I Disappear was thrilling page turner. I could not put this down as soon as I started it. We are thrown into the story where our main character April wakes up and has no memory of the last couple of months. She is told she is on the run and being placed into witness protection. This is because she was the victim of a violent crime. There was not a single moment in this book where I correctly guessed what was going to happen.

I did receive a very early copy of this book so there was some errors but I expect those to be corrected by the time this comes out in November

[Erin Green]

Before I Disappear had an intriguing premise, but almost nothing about the execution worked for me. I forced myself to finish this one. It deserved a DNF but I am a stubborn reader.

My first critique is in the main character's career as a "college lecturer." I am an academic. I have spent years and years of schooling to earn a PhD and I know what the life of an academic is like. Dr. April Anderson was completely unbelievable, to the point where I was continually wondering, did the author do *any* research at all about what it takes to earn a doctorate or land an academic position?

Dr. April Anderson is 30 years old, did her undergrad at NYU in criminology (she refers to her time "in college," but I assure you that someone with a doctorate would distinguish between undergraduate and graduate school), somehow between the ages of 18-25 earned her doctorate degree and was hired as a "college lecturer" in criminology at NYU, though this journey is never explained. For reference, it is extremely rare to be hired as a professor at the university you graduated from, and the author never explains April's journey toward becoming an academic in more detail. We are just left to assume that she has been at NYU as a student and "star lecturer" for her entire schooling and career. She references loads of Ted Talks, talks about how she is a "star lecturer," and refers to her lectures a million times. I wish I had a PDF of this book so I could search how many times the word "lecturer" is used.

With the emphasis on "lecturer," I at first thought maybe she just had an adjunct position, but no, she also refers to herself as a professor and a researcher. Her lectures and supposed specialities are all over the place— she is just a general expert in anything and everything that falls under the broad category of "criminology." She lives in a fancy apartment full of expensive things, supposedly paid for by her prestigious "lecturer" salary. Any academic can tell you that giving lectures is a small portion of the job, and being an academic DOES NOT PAY THIS MUCH. I have a million other critiques about this supposed career of hers, and really to most people this was probably not as distracting as it was to me. But it was SO UNBELIEVABLE, and this is just ONE unbelievable portion of this character and this book.

Everything else was equally unbelievable, and I spent the majority of the book rolling my eyes, especially when the mafia came into play.

The characters, their motivations, their relationships, and many of the decisions they made felt manufactured to move the plot forward rather than like things real people would actually do. I also struggled to find anyone particularly likable or compelling, which made it difficult to care what happened to them.

The flashbacks were distracting and repetitive. I don't ever want to read about threads ever again.

There are a lot of twists, and then more twists, but instead of making the story more exciting, they increasingly felt forced, and each twist would then lead a character to completely change everything about themselves and become someone new. The love story was completely unnecessary and unbelievable, along with everything else.

This book just doesn't need to exist. This was an incredibly difficult read to finish and I wish I could take my time back.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced reader copy. All opinions are my own.

[hollyreadit]

Before I Disappear by Cate Quinn
Pub date: 11/10 Publisher: Sourcebooks Landmark

I really enjoyed the premise of this book, the chaos, and the will she, won’t she aspect. Also, one of the twists did surprise me. However, I did find it super repetitive and probably could have been about 100 pages shorter. I did fly through it though, because Cate Quinn is a short chapter queen! If you’re looking for a quick read this fall, give this one a try.

⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

Thank you to the publisher for the arc in exchange for my honest review.

[Claudia Aikman]

Thank you to NetGalley and SOURCEBOOKS for the advanced copy of this book.

That is a great book. It was an interesting original storyline for me and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The mystery was so intricately woven; I was reading each chapter wondering how it all played out. It didn’t drag out at any points. And the ending was really good!

The only negative were the spelling errors. This book needs to be read and edited for incorrect word placement.

I will highly recommend this book! 4.5⭐️

[elisa]

Criminologist April Anderson wakes up in a motel room not remembering where she is or what has happened during the last few months. She is told she is a witness for a high profile criminal who somehow caused the injuries she has, and it is up to her to remember what happened before the trial or her life changes forever.

This started off strong and I was really hooked into the story, but as it went on the romances were just really off putting for me. The sexual flashbacks were just weird lol
I also found a lot of things not realistic at all, like leaving such a high profile witness alone over and over again, and also that one scene where she overhears something whispered that jolts her memory. I can see lots of people enjoying this one, but it just wasn't for me.

thank you netgalley for the arc!

[Anna]

My first Cate Quinn book was a bust. I really wanted to like it, and I gave it every chance, pushing through all the way to the end, but it really was a struggle. This is one of the most unrealistic and unbelievable books I've ever read, and I just couldn't get into the story. I'm disappointed that this had to be my introduction to Cate Quinn's writing, but unfortunately, this one just wasn't for me.

Thank you NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for this advanced readers copy for my honest review.

[Brittany]

Before I Disappear is a twisty psychological thriller with short chapters, high stakes, and an interesting premise.
For the most part I enjoyed this. It could be a bit repetitive at times, especially when April gets flashes of the same memory over and over but it was fun trying to piece her memories together. The mystery surrounding April’s attack kept me invested and I loved that you never know who can be trusted. Pretty much everyone she comes in contact with is suspicious at one point or another.

The amnesia plot line combined with the approaching trial added some great tension as everything depends on her getting her memories back. I’m still not sure how I feel about the witness protection part though. She's left alone to wander in public a lot and they blindly believe she isn't doing anything to jeopardize their location. With such a high profile case you'd think they'd want to keep a close eye on her but oh well, it allowed her the freedom to make some bad decisions that helped move the plot forward. There were some good twists and everything near the end had my eyes glued to my kindle.

I recommend picking this up if you enjoy psychological suspense with unreliable narrators that will keep you guessing.

Many thanks to Netgalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Lisa Gilbert]

This book pretty much held me hostage for an entire day. I just could not put it down until I reached the end.

When April Anderson wakes up in a rundown motel, with a cop by her side, and no memory of how she got there, she needs some answers and she needs them now. She soon finds out that she’s under police protection because she witnessed a crime and she is the star witness. The problem though is that April remembers nothing because she has a horrific head injury and her memory is lacking, to say the least. She only has a few weeks before the trial to piece together what happened.

The story is written such that the reader must understand April before we can trust what little memory comes back to her. April couldn’t figure out who to trust, but neither can the reader. Quinn can really weave together a compelling and intriguing story, and I’m here for it.

I loved this book, I loved the new and different premise, and I loved how it was written. I will continue to read Cate Quinn novels and I most definitely will recommend this to all my bookish family and friends.

Thank you, NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for the opportunity to read an advanced copy of this five-star book.

[Randi]

Before I Disappear is my second novel I’ve read by Cate Quinn. I found the premise very intriguing right from the beginning. It constantly kept me on the edge of my seat trying to figure out who April should trust, is Hollister trustworthy? Chris? What about Aunt Dhalia? Someone is lying to April and I couldn’t figure out who it was. I really enjoyed this writing style with the flashbacks because it allowed for the reader to get swept up into April’s paranoia as she tries to relearn her past and uncover lost memories. I was unsuccessful with guessing how the ending would play out. I thoroughly enjoyed this novel to the very end. Unpredictable, suspenseful and twisty. This is a well executed thriller and I highly recommend to someone who wants to get into this genre. Thank you to NetGalley and Source books for the ARC in return for my honest review.

[Amber Shepherd]

WOW! This one was so cool and a completely different plot to what I normally see in thrillers.

I really enjoyed how you just couldn’t trust anyone because each time you started to believe a person they switched up and did something crazy. I really loved seeing how April’s mind worked trying to figure everything out in time.

I honestly could not predict a single thing that happened in this book and I love that! The plot twist had me gagged, jaw on the floor.

If you like thrillers or are looking at starting, I highly recommend this one!

Thank you to NetGalley for giving me the eArc in exchange for my honest review.

[Kimberly]

I could not put this one down! I spend the first half of the book distrusting everyone and the second half felt like a nonstop sprint with twist after twist. I did not see some of these twists coming and loved how it played out!

Dr, April Anderson wakes up in protective custody with no memory of how she got there. No one will tell her the full story. She’s on the run, the court case is getting closer and closer and it’s up to her to start remembering.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC! What a fun ride!

[Meagan Dover]

Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for this Advanced Reader’s Copy! The opinions expressed are solely my own.

Before I Disappear by Cate Quinn is a special book. I was hooked right from the beginning. It’s an interesting Idea to be plucked from your life after witnessing a crime, with no other option if you want to survive. April Anderson, a Criminology lecturer at NYU, knows a thing or two about organized crime, but she never expected to face witness protection herself. The worst part is that April received a head injury on the night of the crime, causing severe memory loss. The stakes are high– if April can’t remember the details of the crime in time for the upcoming trial, she will be forced to go into hiding, leaving everything and everyone from her current life behind. The clock is ticking, and there are some very bad people who would do anything to keep April from testifying. The suspense is REAL in this book– at one point, I was terrified. I will be recommending Before I Disappear to all thriller fans. This is one of the best thrillers I’ve ever read!

[Melissa Smith]

This book really surprised me as I never knew where things were headed until much later in the story!! April has temporary amnesia after witnessing a crime so now she is in police protection. She doesn’t know who to trust or who she can believe and neither do we!

This book was action packed. Think a Jason Bourne movie! Lots of surprises along the way and told from the ending to the beginning so I was shocked when I finally understood all that had gone on. Don’t miss this one!

[Sarah]

This was of course an entertaining read as I finished it super quick but it felt a little fantastical at some points.

Was it entertaining? Yes
Is it a deep, meaningful piece of literature? No

At the end of the day, it was an enjoyable read overall that I’d recommend as a fast beach read.

[Erin]

Cate Quinn opens on a strong, disorienting note. April Anderson, an NYU professor and criminologist, comes to in Iowa with no memory of how she got there and a trial bearing down on her where her testimony (and the memory she can’t access) are the only things that can deliver justice. Quinn knows exactly how much to withhold, the early chapters dole out information in careful morsels, just enough to keep you leaning forward without letting you get your footing.

That control is the book’s strength but also where it tested my patience a little. Through the long middle stretch, Quinn leans hard on the same handful of withheld details, circling back to them again and again with only a sliver of new info each time. There’s a recurring uncertainty about who’s really on April’s side, and it’s genuinely unsettling, but it gets used so often that it sometimes spins in place.

Stick with it, though. The ending justifies the patience the middle asks for; a leaner middle would’ve made it a standout, but Before I Disappear is still a confident, twisty thriller.

#BeforeIDisappear #NetGalley
Cate Quinn
Before I Disappear

[Brittney]

Before I Disappear • Cate Quinn

One phrase: amnesia, secrets, and everyone is suspicious 🧠🔍

Before I Disappear starts with such a tense setup.

April Anderson, a successful criminologist and lecturer, wakes up in an unfamiliar hotel room with a serious head injury and no memory of how she got there. Across the room is a police officer telling her she is under protection because she is the key witness to a horrific crime.

Tiny problem.

April does not remember the crime.

Or the last two months of her life.

Immediately, she is trapped in this terrifying in between place where everyone around her seems to know more than she does, but no one will give her straight answers. She is supposed to testify. The whole case depends on her memory. But the more she tries to piece things together, the more confusing everything becomes.

Why won’t anyone help her remember?

Why is everyone being so secretive?

Why is the cop guarding her telling her one version of events while her fiancé, who is secretly tracking her, seems to have another?

And why does April keep uncovering pieces of herself she does not recognize?

I love a thriller where memory itself becomes the mystery, and this one has that frantic, disoriented energy from the start. April is trying to rebuild the truth from fragments while also figuring out who is safe, who is lying, and whether her missing memories are the thing putting her in danger or the only reason she is still alive.

The countdown to the trial adds even more pressure, because if April cannot remember what happened, a dangerous person could walk free and she may never get her old life back.

This is one of those “trust no one, not even yourself” thrillers, and I was fully pulled into the paranoia of it all.

✨ Tropes and vibes:
🧠 amnesia thriller
🏨 remote hotel room
🔍 criminologist FMC
🚔 police protection
👀 trust no one
💍 suspicious fiancé
⏳ trial countdown
🧩 fractured memories
🖤 psychological suspense
🔐 secrets everywhere
😵‍💫 unreliable reality
⚖️ key witness mystery

📚 Read this if you like:
Memory loss thrillers, psychological suspense, hidden secrets, protective custody plots, unreliable narrators, suspicious love interests, and stories where every recovered memory changes what you think you know.

This was tense, twisty, unsettling, and full of that delicious thriller panic where everyone feels like they are hiding something.

#BeforeIDisappear #CateQuinn #PsychologicalThriller #MysteryThriller #BookReview @Landmark

[Kristen Baker]

3.5 stars rounded up.

Before I Disappear is a book you won't be able to put down!

Dr. April Anderson is a criminologist and NYU lecturer who woke up disoriented, with a strange man, in an unfamiliar house. She has no memories of the last 2 months. She's told she's in witness protection for being a witness in a high profile trial, she has to work through her memories and her identity to discover the truth and save herself.

This is my 3rd Cate Quinn novel, and I enjoyed all her past work (especially 'The Clinic'). Her newest novel is no different, and it kept me captivated until the end. First-person POV was perfect for this novel, and allowed the reader to explore everything April was going through. You can feel the inner turmoil she has to work through. I felt like I was learning at the same time April was. Amnesia and figuring out who she can trust goes really well together in this novel. I also enjoyed the well-timed twists and reveals and the character development was there.

That being said, I feel like more research should've been done on witness protection. There was conflicting information, and it seems like the government put her in harms way more than once (biggest one is I don't think they would've performed unnecessary surgery for trial evidence). I don't know too much witness protection, but what was portrayed here is unbelievable. There were parts of the novel that became repetitive. I can't tell you how many times I read about threads, but it was too much!! I get that she's trying to remember, but it needed to be toned down. Also, a nitpick of mine is when the same memorable word is repeated numerous times, for me this was 'subterfuge.' I'm not removing points for this, but it had to of been used at least 6 times in the first 15% or so. Once it was used twice in the same chapter. Surely there's other words that can be used. It didn't come up again after the opening chapters, thankfully. Lastly, I wish more about the Mafia was focused on the first half of the book. There were some hints in the first half, but as someone who has zero understanding of the Mafia, it would've been nice to delve into this fictional scenario about Ferro more.

I do recommend this book to most readers, especially if you enjoyed 'The Clinic.' I think it was overall well-executed.

Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review!

[Ashley’s Bookcase 🖤]

Before I Disappear follows successful criminologist and lecturer April Anderson as she wakes up in a motel room with an almost-fatal head injury, paired with a severe case of amnesia. Startled by a cop sitting in an armchair across the room, April has no idea what he means by she’s ‘under police protection’ as a key witness to an incredibly serious crime that has taken place in New York.

Desperate to understand the situation April finds herself in, she starts to repeat the last 24 hours as she knows it (it’s actually been 2 months) until eventually, tiny snippets start to slowly come back to her. However, until these snippets form a bigger picture April is still unable to determine what has, or hasn’t happened to her.

A slow recovery wouldn’t be a problem if she wasn’t due to stand trial as the sole witness, with the whole case resting on her. If she fails to remember, the culprit will walk free, and she will find herself in protective custody permanently, unable to return to her fiancé, home or job. The only way to get her life back is to remember, but everyone around her is stopping this from happening.

Why won’t anyone help her remember?
Why is everyone being so secretive?
Why does she need a (handsome?) cop by her side constantly?
And why is the cop telling her an entirely contradicting story compared to her fiancé (who is secretly tracking her every move) ?

As time crunches & the court date creeps closer, will April remember, or will she be forgotten forever?

Thank you Sourcebooks Publishing & NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book to read & review. Expected UK release date; 10/11/26.

***spoliers below***

Ugh I really LOVE an amnesia trope, it’s an automatic add to TBR for me and I think this particular aspect of the book was done really well. I found the use of medical documents incredibly engaging. I really liked how April’s inner (and occasionally outward) frustration was described, as I think if I were in the same shoes, I would feel incredibly annoyed with my own mind letting me down too. I liked how well the amnesia & mistrust aspects paired incredibly well together; because how can we expect April to remember who she can/cannot trust when she literally doesn’t remember a thing all? I think the constant battle April faced of trying to figure out who she could trust was brilliant, it really got me thinking and trying to analyse each characters behaviour & speech when engaging with April, trying to find any hints.

I was pleasantly surprised to have not guessed each characters genuine involvement in April’s life (although I did predict he very ending with Sam) and feel the majority were rounded off very satisfyingly (minus Ferro, feel this was a little lack lustre considering he was a main character). However the very final twist GOT ME, I did not see that coming and thought it was very clever, the type of twist that once it’s revealed you feel a fool for missing all the drip-fed hints throughout the story. One thing I found a little disappointing (as an atmospheric reader) was the locations and the descriptions (or lack there of). I feel we could have had a bit more depth, especially the police station and court room. However I guess the whole premise is set on the fact April is to be kept in the same nondescript place.

I have never read anything containing Mafia involvement before, and I think had I known this prior I maybe wouldn’t have picked this book up, but i did find myself just needing to know the resolution, and mainly the reason behind the incident in the first place. My only criticism on this is would a notorious Mob boss seriously WRITE A PHYSICAL BOOK containing all their criminal activity/earnings/contacts and be so reckless as to keep it inside their criminal premises, jeopardising their whole criminal enterprise? I highly doubt it. For me, this just seriously undermined the dangerousness of Ferro completely, as from then on, I just saw him as a wee man who keeps a diary.

Overall this was a good read, especially for anyone who is a fan of a cat & mouse chase because I was a bag of nerves most of the last 50%! I’m definitely going to add The Clinic & The Bridesmaid to my TBR.

[Thamy]

This is a thriller from an unreliable point-of-view in a situation where you'd already not rely on anyone else, so you will spend a lot of the book feeling like you're in a fog. Which Cate Quinn does very well.

April wakes up to find out she's in a witness protection program and that she's the key witness in a trial she has no idea what is about—and neither can Hollister, the cop protecting her, tell her anything for fear of leading the witness. The thing is, April doesn't remember anything happening to her, much less witnessing any crimes, even if the horrible wound on her head corroborates what Hollister is telling her. She's stranded away from her life and fiancé, the mafia could be after her, and she can't even trust her own feelings.

I read some reviews that said the premise is great but that the writing was all over the place. I can't disagree, but I feel there's more to it. For maybe half the book, it goes well, but the more you read, the more you start wondering if the problem is really April not remembering enough or the book needing more editing time. In any case, I suspect this book could have been all that if it had either kept the plot simpler or had been given more time so the mafia part of the story didn't sound so shallow.

I do like the ambiance. Although it reaches a point where April sounds too repetitive, I liked seeing this world from her eyes. Finding out all that is happening to her, and all that has happened to her. Also, that's a big part of it, but Cate Quinn was a master at making us suspect every single character in the book.

I'm not sure what made the plot so messy, if it was a lack of time to beat it into shape or what, but the book is still a quick read that will entertain you enough until the end. And maybe you'll read it so quickly you won't even bother with the flaws, as there's a lot to enjoy regardless.

I was excited to read another work by Cate Quinn, and though it could have been more, I'm not disappointed.



Honest review based on an ARC provided by Netgalley. Many thanks to the publisher for this opportunity.

[Rayna Medeles]

Thanks so much to Sourcebooks Landmark, NetGalley and Cate Quinn for the opportunity to review the ARC Before I Disappear by Cate Quinn.

What if losing your memory isn’t the scary part– but remembering who you really are, is? What if someone will do anything to make sure you never remember?

April Anderson, a Criminology Professor in New York, wakes up in a remote motel with a new identity and no recollection of how she got there. She’s told she’s under police protection and must testify in a high-stakes trial she knows nothing about. April struggles to figure out who she can trust. As her memories return, she discovers a side of herself she never knew existed– and someone will do whatever it takes to keep her from remembering the truth.

This story had a bit of a slow start for me, but I did find as the story progressed, I became more interested. The concept of her memory loss, the flash backs, and the vague release of each detail as she remembered or gained parts of her memory back, made me feel like a detective. I was constantly wondering what would happen next, making predictions with each bit of new information that was revealed. Just when I thought I had it figured out, just when I began to feel confident in who to trust: BAM! There’s a new piece of information to shoot me(literally) back to square one. Suspicion and doubt kept me bouncing from person to person. The story did take a very unexpected turn for me, and was not at all what I expected. The fast pace and twist after twist kept me invested to find out how it all plays out. There were some grammatical errors/typos throughout, and towards the end, some plot holes once everything started coming together. Overall though, this was a pretty engaging read.

If you’re a fan of fast-paced psychological thrillers packed with mystery and crime that keep you guessing till the very end, definitely add this to your TBR!

[Angel **Book Junkie**]

hank you to Cate Quinn, SOURCEBOOKS Landmark | Sourcebooks Landmark, and NetGalley for a copy of Before I Disappear in exchange for an honest review.

⭐ DNF — 63%

I really don't feel right giving this a 1-star rating on NetGalley, especially when I didn't actually finish the book. Unfortunately, NetGalley doesn't exactly give us a nice little “DNF because I couldn't take it anymore” button without affecting the book's rating, so here we are. 😂

I tried to finish this book. I really, really did. I made it all the way to 63%, which is honestly more than this book deserved from me.

From the beginning, April irritated me. If I woke up with no memory of who I was, what was happening in my life, or what the hell was going on, I can promise you that my first stop wouldn't be a coffee shop where I'd sit down and casually start reading my medical history. And then finding a tracker in my purse and deciding to call someone? GIRL. I had questions. So many questions. And unfortunately, the book wasn't giving me answers that made me care enough to keep going.

Then there was the whole Hollister/cop situation, which I found so absurd that it completely pulled me out of the story. Instead of making me curious about what was really happening, I found myself questioning the logic of pretty much everything.

By 63%, I realized I was spending more time wondering when the story was actually going somewhere than I was enjoying the story itself.

I'm sure April's journey of discovering who she is and what happened to her eventually gets somewhere. I just won't be there to find out. 🤷‍♀️

I was lost. Lost in a world of disbelief, questionable decisions, and a plot that wasn't giving me enough to keep pushing.

Final Verdict: I gave it 63% and officially tapped out. Sometimes you have to know when to stop wasting your reading time, and unfortunately, Before I Disappear was that book for me.

DNF. 📚💀

[Kylie Weigh]

 

Who can she trust if she cannot trust her own mind

Before I Disappear was a disorienting and psychologically ominous! I had some trouble getting through the begining but it quickly shifted into an erratic experience as April desperately is trying to piece together the fragmented parts of the April she she knew and the one that is a strength repressed in darkness. I loved everything about the story line and themes! I loved how analytically driven it was, true to April's profession and it's reflection in her being. There were some repetitive moments, but I found the repetitive rhythm entirely justified. It effectively replicates the mental cycle/loops that have April drowning in a psychological vertigo.

This story follows a well educated and intelligent criminologist that lectures across the world, something she is not only exceptionally talented at but passionate about with a different perspective to the birth of criminals. April wakes what feels like an alternate reality as she realizes she has no idea where she is, what led her to be there and why she has no memory at all. Over the course of days with her protector, she begins to really take on an edge as she is trying to put the pieces together with too many voices trying to take center stage as conflicts unravel, memories foggy, unreliable sources, isolation and a trial that depends 100% on her. April is determined to find her own answers at whatever cost, to turn the light back on on her mind.

A chaotic, slow burn revelation, new Identity, misdirected narration, fragmented memory/timeline that is guaranteed to make you hold your breath and rack your own mind for answers as you are transported into April's character and experience the complex, deeply unstable internal conflict as she runs towards and away from her past into an unknown future.

[Kristi Lamont]

BOOK REPORT
Received a complimentary copy of Before I Disappear by Cate Quinn from Sourcebooks Landmark/NetGalley, for which I am appreciative, in exchange for a fair and honest review. Scroll past the BOOK REPORT section for a cut-and-paste of the DESCRIPTION of it from them if you want to read my thoughts on the book in the context of that summary.

⭐ 3 ⭐

Good pool/beach read for the most part; got what felt to me like preachy/moralistic at the end.

Not to mention there was all kinda convoluted-y going on throughout.

Also? In my ever-so-humble opinion, the author (and her publisher) missed an opportunity to have a series by taking the story to the ending they did.

DESCRIPTION
From the acclaimed author of The Clinic and The Bridesmaid comes a pulse pounding thriller following a criminologist who wakes in a remote motel with no memory of how she got there, or the people who claim they will protect her.

Criminologist April Anderson wakes up in a remote motel with a new name, a new identity, and absolutely no memory of how she got there. Told she's under police protection as the victim of a disturbing crime, she'll have to stand as a witness on a major trial that she knows nothing about. April isn't sure who to trust — the cop guarding her from an unknown threat, or the fiancé secretly tracking her.

As April's memories start coming back in waves, she discovers a side to herself she didn't know existed. A side she'd rather stay hidden.

With the trial drawing closer, the need for her to remember everything that happened to her the night of the crime becomes vital to her survival. But someone wants her silent, and her missing memories may be the only thing keeping her alive. Will she remember the truth… or disappear forever?

[Suesyn Zellmer]

April wakes up in a motel with no memory of how she got there and who the policeman in the chair is. He explains that she’s in danger and he’s the officer currently assigned to her care. She suffered an attack that left her with head trauma weeks ago, and was recently attacked again in her hospital room. So they took her farther away and promised to keep her safe until the trial she’s supposed to testify at. If she gets her memory back, that is.

So yes, it’s an amnesia story. And also a mafia story. Had I known that, I would have passed on this book because I don’t enjoy mob stories, and unfortunately, this was no exception. Which was strange because I like this author and her previous books, but this one just wasn’t the same.

Anyway, she starts getting pieces of her memory back, but they don’t make much sense. The officer tells her conflicting information from her fiancé (whom she stays in touch with, knowing it puts everyone in danger). She consistently makes stupid decisions and bad choices, yet keeps getting away with it. Seriously, the police come across as bumbling fools throughout the story.

But then again, so do the members of the mafia she deals with. Pretty much every male character is a moron, and she’s the beautiful woman who outsmarts them all and also can’t stop talking about the color of her eyes and hair. The story gets more convoluted as it goes on until it finally just kind of peters out with everything neatly resolved.

It felt like reading a rough first draft, with no editing, but in absolute need of editing everywhere. It didn’t seem at all like this author’s typical stories, and I really hope it’s just a one-off.

My thanks to NetGalley and SOURCEBOOKS Landmark for the free advanced reading copy of this book.

[Jacqueline Rackard]

Memories create context to our lives and provide a way for us to relive both tragic and joyous experiences. For April Anderson, NYU lecturer, her childhood memories are filled with conflict and sadness and very little joy. After losing her parents and brother to a tragic accident when she was young, April is shuffled off to a children's home with no family in sight. She is eventually taken in by her aunt who provides financial conveniences and opportunities for a good education.
Despite her difficult childhood, April has been able to cobble together a productive life until she is viciously attacked and left for dead.

The novel begins as April, who is struggling with her memory loss, wakes up in an unfamiliar place with a new identity. She is promptly told that she is in witness protection because she must testify at the trial of a notorious Mafia boss. She is left with so many questions about what happened to her and who she can trust. As she gradually regains bit and pieces of her memory, April is confronted with the realization that there is much of herself and her past life that has yet to be revealed. Who can she trust- Chris, her fiancé, the federal agents who are interrogating her, or her aunt who has been a distant but influential part of her early life?

The novel is primarily plot driven with very little character depth or development particularly with the supporting characters. The romance sub plot is forced and unnecessary. At times, the plot seems overwrought to the point of complete disbelief.

However, the novel does provide an action filled thriller with suspenseful twists at every corner, as the reader is taken on a journey to uncover the April's truth. Overall, the story is engaging and entertaining.

[Leanne]

Before I Disappear is a gripping psychological thriller that wastes no time pulling you into its unsettling mystery. Cate Quinn takes a classic amnesia premise and elevates it with tight pacing, emotional depth, and a protagonist whose fractured identity becomes the story’s most compelling danger.

April Anderson waking up in a remote motel with a new name and no memory is a brilliant hook — but what makes the novel truly addictive is how quickly the ground shifts beneath her. The cop who claims he’s protecting her, the fiancé who insists he’s tracking her for her own good, the looming trial she’s supposedly central to… every relationship feels unstable, every explanation slightly off‑centre. Quinn leans into that uncertainty beautifully.

As April’s memories return in disorienting flashes, the tension builds in a way that feels both psychological and visceral. The more she uncovers about the night of the crime, the more she realises she may not be the woman she believed herself to be — and that her missing memories might be the only thing keeping her alive. It’s a clever, unsettling dynamic that keeps the reader questioning everyone, including April herself.

The short, cliff‑hanger‑driven chapters make this an easy book to devour in long, breathless stretches. Quinn’s pacing is razor‑sharp, and the sense of threat never fully lets up. By the time the truth comes into focus, the emotional stakes are as gripping as the twists.

Fast, tense, and wonderfully disorienting, Before I Disappear is perfect for readers who love unreliable narrators, high‑stakes psychological suspense, and thrillers that keep you turning pages long past bedtime.

with thanks to Cate Quinn, the publisher and netgalley for the ARC