First French Kiss: and Other Traumas

by Adam Bagdasarian

Growing up male - funny, touching, and as unexpected as life itself!

This collection of finely crafted stories from the acclaimed author of Forgotten Fire zeros in on the moments of comic confusion and tender transformation that make up one boy's wild ride through childhood and adolescence. Whether it's struggling up a godforsaken mountain with other miserable campers, tossing aside all scruples to scramble to the top of the school social heap, searching for the true path to romantic love, or trying to meet the expectations of a father whose high standards seem impossible to live up to - these funny and affecting tales of triumph, humiliation, love, loss, competitive kissing, and laxatives will touch readers and have them laughing out loud as Will, a boy with an overactive imagination, grapples with "what it takes to be a man" and "what kind of man will I become?"

First Serial Seventeen Magazine

Genres: Young Adult, Short Stories, Coming Of Age, Realistic Fiction

134 pages, Hardcover

First published September 30, 2002

About the author

Adam Bagdasarian is an Armenian American writer for teenagers and young adults. His first novel, Forgotten Fire, became a National Book Award Finalist. His second novel First French Kiss: and other traumas gained as much success as his first one. He resides in New York City.

Son of Ross Bagdasarian creator of Alvin and the Chipmunks and younger brother of Ross Bagdasarian Jr.


I read My Name Is Aram, by William Saroyan, when I was fourteen-years-old. From the first page of the first short story, the book was a revelation. The simplicity of the language, the warmth and humor of the narrator's voice dissolved the usual wall between writer and reader and made me feel a part of the stories I was reading. Before then, many of the books I had to read in school had a soul-deadening formality of the language that was downright exhausting. I knew that there were human beings with human feelings and frailties and conflicts in there somewhere, but I had to hack my way through so much dry language that I hardly cared once I got there. My Name Is Aram, on the other hand, seemed to welcome me right away.

The most important thing about the book was that it made writing (and reading) seem less a rigid intellectual pursuit, than an emotional journey that any man or boy might take into his own heart and spirit. In other words, it helped me discover the kind of writer that I wanted to be-someone who, regardless of the subject matter, made his readers feel as though they had found a good companion.

When I was a little older, my favorite books included The Sun Also Rises, Catcher in the Rye, and The Great Gatsby. But the first and greatest inspiration was My Name Is Aram.

Sincerely,
Adam Bagdasarian

Reviews

[Allison · Rating 2 out of 5]

Aside from "First French Kiss" and "Going Steady," I found the stories mostly unrelatable to a student audience in 2019. How is this--a collection of stories chock-full of references to hired kitchen staff, private tutors and karate lessons, vacations in Hawaii, and Dad's Mercedes--an anchor text for 21st century reading curriculum that touts diversity in YA literature?

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, now this is the book I've been looking for. This is a short story collection of a fictional character's adolescence that's a great balance of funny and poignant. I can't wait to share this book with my students.
Why have I never read anything by Adam Bagdasarian before? Has he written anything else? Must. Find. Out.

[Tonia Kirby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read most of the stories aloud as part of our Lucy Calkins curriculum and I thought it was ok - then a former student came in and saw it and said "oh, you are reading that again? I loved those stories." So while I found it to be interesting, my middle schoolers really connected with the stories!!!

[hajrah ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is important to me because my friend gave it to me and i took it with me to skardu and because it's beautifully written and it reminds me of the perks of being a wallflower

[Dannielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dannielle Nebinski (First French Kiss and Other Traumas)
Genre: Humor

First French Kiss and Other Traumas is a delightfully entertaining book about one boys life and his adventures through childhood and adolescence. The story is written in the voice of a boy named Will, as he recounts his childhood "traumas" that seem to him to be both major and minor incidents. The book has both a humorous tone as well as a more serious tone at times, as he explains his first make-out session, and talks about how at the age of 10 he became one of the "popular boys," but also as he explores life and mortality and begins to ponder what it is that will make him a man.
Adam Bagdasarian has written a delightful, engaging book for young adults. It is made even better by the fact that it is told at ponts, from the perspective of Will as an older man looking back and reflecting on these incidents. This brings in some adult wisdom that tends not to be thought about by a normal teenager. This is an excellent read for any young adult looking for a little humor.

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Follow Will into adolescence and then adulthood while living in Fresno on his father's vineyard. This book is told in short stories. Some are sad, some made me laugh out loud, but all are honest and well done. A quick, but worthy read.

[Ashley Janz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Me and my class died laughing cause we're all in 8th grade. Me and my class aren't that mature to handle this stuff. So we all died laughing. We couldn't help it!!!

[Dardenitaaa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn, this book rendered me awestruck.

It’s two am and I just recently finished reading Adam Bagdasarian’s First French Kiss and other Traumas five minutes ago and it’s so good that I’m right away compelled to write my thoughts of the aftermath; it’s been awhile since I’ve last come across a book I couldn’t put down—I’m so busy raising my dead social life from the grave that I could only squeeze in reading during my left over time. But oh, this book just stole my attention and resisted to be put off for later.

For a sheer 134-pager, it’s so concise and brief that it’s almost deceiving. Of course I had the gut feel that this is going to be a nice read when I decided to buy it, but it has been a pleasant surprise to know that I’m wrong; the book is not nice at all—it’s heartbreakingly brilliant. Otherwise, I won’t be stifling laughter while I’m so engrossed reading it in between bites at a crowded Burger King just a few hours ago, or getting all misty-eyed at the end of some chapters towards the end.

And okay, I saw it: there’s painfully too much of me that I could see in this book that I literally pause between pages to ask myself, “Am I reading a book or looking at a mirror?”

The first few chapters were okay, and then came the part where Will, the main character, shares his first ever depression in life—his five-year old self, pondering the melancholy of gumball machines.

“And if there wasn’t the gumball machine, what was there? Days, that’s what. Years and years of days. Days like balls of gum. Days of trees and sky and faces and food. The same trees, the same sky, the same faces, the same food. And the sameness enraged me because there was no escape from it, no alternative to it, nothing to do but sleep and submit.”

Holy crap, he is speaking my language of hate for monotony! At age five!

The book is a faux autobiography of the odd, melancholic childhood recollections of Will. There’s no theme whatsoever but it didn’t matter; I fell in love with Will’s character so head-on and easy. I adored his line of thoughts, his profound way of looking at things, with a frighteningly striking semblance to that of my own. He imagines fictional people and their fictional lives and have fictional conversations with them. He gives every trivial thing in the world a meaning like it’s his life mantra to make metaphors mandatory. Say for instance, here are his ramblings on the injustices of middle school popularity:

I gazed at Sean and the rest of the popular boys in bewildered admiration. It seemed like only yesterday that we had all played kickball, dodgeball, and basketball together; and then one morning I awoke to find that this happy democracy had devolved into a monarchy of kings and queens, dukes and duchesses, lords and ladies. It did not take a genius to know that, upon the continent of this playground, the two Allans and I were stable boys.

I had been resigned to my rank for many months, but now, looking at the two Allans (still arguing over the same three leaf clover), then at the popular boys, I suddenly knew that I could not stand another day at the bottom—I wanted to be part of the noise and the laughter; I wanted, I needed to be popular.

Being ten years old, I did not question this ambition; bit I did wonder how on earth I was going to realize it. Though I only stood twenty yards away from the heart of the kingdom, I felt a thousand miles removed from the rank and prestige of its citizens. How could I bridge such a gap, knowing I might be stared at, or laughed at or belittled to a speck so small that I could no longer be seen by the naked eye?

Sure, he’s far from perfect, if anything, he’s so flawed sometimes. He fidgets, he has a lot of fears and insecurities and all of these he perfectly hides under the façade of his bloated ego. And oh, he knows it well. He’s so self-centered that one of his first thoughts upon coming close to the possibility of a brain tumour, was that he couldn’t die yet because he is destined to revolutionize American Contemporary Fiction before he turns 20. He’s one big dreamer, alright. And so hilarious at so many levels. There were portions in the book that he is so boyishly heartless that I couldn’t stop muttering asshole under my breath, like for example, his thoughts right after breaking up with a girl named Linda from the sixth grade, who sincerely loved him a lot:

I would like to say that I ran after her but I didn’t. I would like to say that I held her in my arms and comforted her until she stopped crying, but I didn’t do that either. I would like to say that we parted that night with a warm and enduring understanding of each other, and that we remain good friends to this day, but we didn’t and we aren’t.

What I did do was watch her run into the house. Then I smiled. I smiled because I had stood my ground because I had had the strength and character to look a girl in the eye and break up with her. So proud was I of my achievement, so sure was I of my irresistible attraction to women that ten minutes later I went back to the party found Ellen Weitzman, and asked her to go steady.

Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. And yet, there were moments when I just wanted to nudge him, give him a giant hug and tell him everything’s going to be okay. And you know what hit home? The fact that his glorious façade crumbles so easily whenever he talks about family. Sure, at one point in his short-lived popularity, he became the heartthrob hotshot and all that. But at home, he’s basically his family’s baby who prays for his brother not to leave for college because he’ll miss climbing trees with him, and the same kid who just wanted to please his dad so bad, it hurts sometimes.

“You know,” his father said, sitting down on his brother’s bed, “sometimes when I get angry at you, I’m really angry about other things. Sometimes something will happen in town or at the office, and instead of yelling about that, I yell about the carrots or the plates or something else. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he said, though he did not really understand anything except the feeling of his father’s presence and the tenderness of his voice.
“And you know that I love you even when I yell at you?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” his father said, leaning close to him and kissing him on the cheek. “Now go to sleep.”
“Good night, Pop,” he said, and his voice was small because his heart had swelled right up to his Adam’s apple.
“Good night.”
And the he was in the dark again, but not alone because his father had been there, would always be there.

And this juxtaposition ain’t the only thing that makes his character great; his flaws make him so real and so vulnerable, at least for us readers inside his head. He’s had epic moments of winning you can’t help but cheer and be proud of his little victories, no matter how shallow they are. And he’s also had unforgettable moments of defeat and loss which oddly evokes in you a sense of respect for him rather than pity.

“Pop’s dead,” she says, and a white flash goes off in your head, and then you are crying faster than you have ever cried or smiled or winked or laughed or blinked in your life. And all at once you see everything—you see what it all means. It only takes an instant, but it’s an eternal instant, an instant that would take years to write. And everything you feel is a forty-wave foot of water, and all at once you are in the wave, being tossed in the wave, and it’s frightening because it’s too strong. The wave can break you like a match stick, and there are waves after this wave, higher and stronger, to break you apart and banish you to a vast unknown. And it shuts off and you are alright again. As fast as it started, it stops. And your eyes are dry and you are smiling. You think everything is alright again.

And that, my friends, is the definition of a great fiction hero—I hated him, loved him, saw myself in him, desired to get to know him and wanted to be like him, too. I must say, I can’t ask for more.

[Heidi Maloney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this as it’s a mentor text for our reading program and I like to know my stuff. I was worried after the first few stories because I’d already noticed myself that it was written in 2002 and the world has changed, and I’d seen that the book was criticized for being unrelatable in some ways (the main character being clearly very wealthy and having hired staff in his home, and growing up in Beverly Hills).

So, I did what I tell my readers to do and kept an open mind. None of the stories are outstanding, but some absolutely stood out to me, especially “Little League,” which talks about how as a boy you’re basically treated like shit if you have no athletic ability, but once you get good you can be a complete asshole and be heralded as awesome. I also LOVED “Popularity.” Bagdasarian has the ecosystem of how popularity is decided completely down.

I feel like I would also read “Going Steady,” “The Fight,” “The Bird Hunter,” “Skip Leaves for College,” and “Karate” to my students. Each of these stood out to me and I feel would be relatable to any child regardless of background because of the basic human emotions they evoke.

So, I’d give this book overall a 3.5

[Luke · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was a sophomore in high school, my English teacher occasionally read us stories out of this book. I remember liking it a lot at the time, especially since she used it partially as a teaching guide. It was through this collection of short stories that I first learned about second person narration and the few ways to properly utilize it (later, in a college writing workshop, I would debate over one of these); as well as how to mix humor with "serious" subject matters. I utilized this a lot in my own writing, though I doubt FFKAOT had any influence on my own stylistics.

I remembered this book a few years ago, only to discover that not only was it out of print, but that it was also pricey to purchase a used copy. But here we are and I finally got one that was reasonable and I finally read it. It was good. Probably not 4/5 stars good, but hey! I'm a sucker for nostalgia, and I have good memories of my tenth grade English class. Mrs. Postma, if you're reading this, thanks.

[Patti Sabik · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick short story collection about growing up male in California. While parts were somewhat humorous (mostly crude bodily function humor), most of the stories were poignant insights to what most of us face and somehow endure in adolescence.

[Jennifer Wrage · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is our mentor text for readers' workshop. It gave very personal recounts of growing up. It is a little hard to follow as it doesn't follow chronological order. Some parts are not appropriate for 6th grade students. Make sure you preview your selections!

[Sheila Bracken · Rating 3 out of 5]

Will has an active imagination & his actions are greatly impacted by it. His desire for approval makes him somewhat ruthless & simultaneously sad & confused. His innocence can be endearing but also pitiful. His story, a series of anecdotes, is often laugh out loud funny.

[Sarah Boyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! I use it in my classroom all the time. This author is funny, honest, self-aware, and such a great read. He captures childhood so well and the themes of his stories are so important.

[Mark Banaszak · Rating 3 out of 5]

Used a couple of the stories as anchor texts in Lucy Calkins Units of Study and read the others. Kids loved these stories as read-alouds, although the title they find awkward.

[Jay Zayas · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s okay

[Meredith · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of short stories of the "traumatic" events of the teen years, this was a great book for personal narrative instruction

[MaryAnn Lockey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read. Used in middle school.

[R C · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable collection of short stories. Bagdasarian's wry sense of humora great job relaying the childhood and adolescente sense of invisibility and infallibility.

[Isaiah Banks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love the story. Will is a cocky FOOL. In the fight he was over confident :D

[Stuart Levy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious collection of stories

[Dahlia Pettitt · Rating 2 out of 5]

Missoula Reads 2025: 200 Pages or Fewer

[Hannah Barley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me except I haven’t kissed anyone ever

[Iserbarnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book I read was called first french kiss. It's an autobiography the authors life growing up. The book was by Adam Bagdasrian. An his out look on his life into adulthood. About his time in life were he started to see clear.

Okay the book first start off with the the title first french kiss. He's tell the reader about when this girl named Maggie. Who was the prettiest in sixth grade. How he an she were in love with each other. So when her party came up he an she was. Suppose bet the record of an hour but when they got in their. They kiss each others foreheads,nose and cheeks. so they had to turn on the light then do it. From their but then other problems ac cured . He could breath after 15 seconds so about 30 minutes later. they left out but every body was disappointed. the boys asked what happened he said it was the best.

The rest of the book is about him becoming popular. his time at camp and this mountain. he had to climb to overcome the times in life. when their are tribulations in life. Also when he played little league baseball how he was the worst player in captivity.Also the biggest one of all the gum ball machine. When he started figuring out that a gum ball machine was just. Nothing only it could do nothing it just an object that he use a million times.

this is what took from the book i read. this was a great book that i read. it was a great in site to another person life growing up.which made me think to some of things i did.that what thought of this book.

[Cody · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hmm... What to say about this book?

This was a fast read and at first I wasn't so into it. It seemed to be a collection of short memories in a fictional "autobiography" by Will. What I discovered as I read was a real genius approach to their telling.

The narrator recounts numerous "firsts" in his life: his first fight, girlfriend, job, etc. However as the book progresses, the narrator who seems very immature at the beginning of the book, comes of age as does his writing.

The chapter where Will finds out that his father has died is some of the most beautiful writing I have read recently. His reaction to the news is heartbreaking as is the day he and his family move out of his house.

This book seems to have been intended for teens but I think it might be lost on them. I think it is a very adult book and that it is a must read.

I loved this book and look forward to reading more of Adam's work!

[Ash · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a little mixed on how to talk about this book because it wasn't in any way bad ... it just didn't impress me, you know?

I do like the idea of the author telling his life adventures of his childhood, while occasionally adding an exaggeration or twist to the story... but none of the stories were very interesting or captivating to me, and some were just plain boring to read.

The author's writing style was pretty unique, I will give it that, but not strong enough to keep me entirely engaged.

All in all, this book was pretty meh. If you like hearing people's childhood stories and all that and like hearing about someone coming-to-age, you might enjoy this book.

I just kind of expected more out of it, you know?

All in all, not a bad book, but just not very impressive.

((But I will admit, the author being the son of the guy who created 'Witch Doctor' and 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' was pretty damn cool)).

[Ben]

A boy will dicover the life as a teenager. He will experince the good things and bad things as a teen. The experince of fitting in with cool kids. The experince of love and rejections. The book has many differnt stories of a teenager boy. i recommend this book becasue i can really relate to the emotions of the life of a teenager. Actually anyone who has gone the life of a teenager can realte to this.

[Vicky del Rio · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think that the First French Kiss was a good book because it tells you about kids in middle school and their kisses.I thought it was very specific about the authors life.I recommened this book to all middle school students and maybe 12-15 year old. If I was a teacher i would read this to my students because I think they wold enjoy it, maybe I would read thus to my brothers or sisters.And that is Victoria's post!

[TheSaint · Rating 3 out of 5]

Adam Bagdasarian's stories of his childhood and adolescence read so true that it is difficult to remember that you are reading fiction. Each story seems like a memoir -- whether of a knock-down-drag-out fight, which was all the author expected it to be, or of the titular First French Kiss, which wasn't. A 2005 nominee for the Young Readers Choice Award.

[Emily Jardine Burdette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I forced my book club to read this hilarious adolescent lit memoir, and no one liked it as much as I did. Oh well! I read this book with my seventh and eighth grade students and it was a hit! The kids were laughing out loud as we read several of the chapters. Adam Bagdasarian really captures junior high and all its pain. I love this book!