Doris Day: The Untold Story of the Girl Next Door

by David Kaufman

David Kaufman has now written the long-awaited, definitive biography of Doris Day. By telling Day’s incredible, previously untold story, Kaufman takes the reader to the epicenter of American popular culture— a roller-coaster saga, from the 1940s to the 1980s. While Day symbolized virtuous America to the rest of the world—especially in her heyday, the 1950s and early 1960s—both she and that era are still perceived as being far more innocent and carefree than they really were. Indeed, what makes Day’s story so richly fascinating is the fact that she was in many ways the opposite of her image as “the girl next door.” She was also a real-life Cinderella who regretted having gone to the ball and who found a series of princes who proved far less than charming.Thanks to Kaufman’s dogged diligence in tracking down countless colleagues and intimates, he gives Scintillating tales of fame, beauty, money, tragedy, sexual ambiguity, and sexual conquests. Anecdotes about a vast array of major subsidiary players in Day’s life, including Ronald Reagan, Frank Sinatra, Alfred Hitchcock, Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant, Charles Manson, Mickey Mantle, Candice Bergen, and Rock Hudson. Kaufman reveals Day’s demons while emphasizing the extraordinary credit she deserves as an artist. In the tradition of great biographies, Kaufman’s detailed work not only reveals the surprising story of one of America’s most beloved icons, but also compels us to rush back and see her best films—including The Man Who Knew Too Much, Pillow Talk, Love Me or Leave Me —and to listen to her unforgettable songs—“Sentimental Journey,” “Secret Love,” “Que Sera, Sera.” Though she made more than 550 recordings and starred in 39 movies—not to mention her own TV show for five years—the epic story of Doris Day’s life has never been told . . . until now.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Media Tie In, Biography Memoir

630 pages, Hardcover

First published June 10, 2008

Reviews

[Denis · Rating 3 out of 5]

That the supposedly girl next door which reigned over the box office for years is actually a much more complex and intriguing character than the image people have of her comes as no surprise. What’s surprising is that this thick biography doesn’t quite manage to really show who Doris Day really is. The problem is one that lies with many biographies done in what in Europe is called “the American way” – meaning with an avalanche of details that may recreate the life of someone day by day but without necessarily going through the mystery and the core of who those people truly are. This book definitively is filled with interesting stuff for anyone interested in Hollywood’s golden age, and Day is a good subject to investigate: her life is rich, and, like her or not, what she’s come to symbolize through her movies have made her an important figure in American cinema. Kaufman’s book is exhaustive, sometimes exhausting, it relies a lot (especially in its first part) on articles and interviews published decades ago, which can be a problem. The second part is more compelling – maybe because Kaufman seems to have had more first-hand encounters with people who actually met and knew Day. The stories around the movies she’s acted in are interesting, as are her complicated relationships (with her husbands and son, among others). And Kaufman does show that Day isn’t all the time the sweet girl she’s come to embody – this is not a boring hagiography. Yet, something is missing – and at the end of the book, it’s not very clear who Doris Day really was, or is. Somehow, she’s eluded her biographer. Still, the ride through old Hollywood in her company is fun.

[Teri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Doris Day: The Untold Story of The Girl Next Door by David Kaufman

As I have always been a huge Doris Day fan, it was surprising to read of her troubled chilhood with a father who was very cold and distant, hrdly ever home. Her parents divorced when she was 13, and her mother was the domanating force that got her into singing on the radio, then in the movies. It was very surprising, also, to hear of her obsessive compulsive disorder and that she didn't like performing in public, due to stage fright. The author interviews family, friends and others to get more details about Doris. She didn't like her last name that her first band leader gave her. The author also quotes a lot of passages from her autobiography, that does seem to have some inaccuracies. The author gives details of each movie she made, which does seem to be too drawn-out, as this book is way too long with very thin pages, which makes for longer reading time. My hubby and I have been watching a lot of her movies, enjoying them immensely. She is still the number one movie actress of all time. She was a quick learner, but never thought she was good enough, always wanted to have a happy married home life, which she never got, being married 4 times. If you enjoy biographies/autobiographies, you will enjoy this one.

Forever Friends Rating 4 Stars by Teri
Until Next Time, See You Around The Book Nook.

Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Pub. Date: June 2008
ISBN-13: 9781905264308
630pp

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have loved the old Doris Day movies for years, having several favorites that I have watched many times. It was fun to read the book and watch the movies being referred to, as I read.
I felt very sad when I was finished. I guess even the "perfect" person is never really what they appear to be. I can certainly identify with her poor choices when it comes to the "perfect" man.
I do know what those movies, and her songs, have meant to me, I just feel sad that she never seems to have recognized what her acting and her singing meant to thousands, even millions of people. (Of course, I do think she knows what she has meant to millions of dogs, cats and other suffering animals.)

[LindaM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Doris Day was a favortie of mine as a child. She seemed to be able to do it all--sing, dance, act--and be so bright and charming. So i had to read this biography when I saw it.
The author did a lot research and interviews, to bring to life Doris' early years and her character.

[Lee Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

A complete biography of Doris Day may suffer by its very nature, as the star has been retired and virtually a recluse since the 1980s. In more capable hands, this might be better dealt with, but Kaufman is an adequate writer at best, so after the death of Day's controlling manager husband Marty Melcher, the book has another one hundred pages or so of stories of Day meeting and lunching with a series of fans. It is completely unnecessary, not to mention boring, to learn from Kaufman the date of birth and hometown of every one of these fans. Who cares, aside from said fans?

What is interesting, however, is how Day throughout her career brought one after another of these fans into her life as caretakers and assistants, then dismissed them due to the tiniest inconvenience. Kaufman tends to editorialize a bit (I know Melcher was a jerk, I don't want my author to tell me, but rather SHOW me, by depicting what he did), but he did his research, and Doris Day comes across as a person, not a cliche. I also appreciated the side, mini-biography of Terry Melcher, Day's troubled only child. The book is a thorough, but not shockingly revealing, look at a big star.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aside from her as-told-to autobiography with A.E. Hotchner in 1975, this is the first full-length biography devoted to Doris Mary Anne von Kappelhoff, who was rechristened Doris Day just before she began fronting for the Les Brown Band in 1940. Although Day was continually portrayed in magazines and onscreen as a contented wife and mother, Kaufman (Ridiculous!: The Theatrical Life and Times of Charles Ludlam )—who spent eight years interviewing more than 150 people to create this definitive biography—uncovers a tireless workaholic (from 1947 to 1968, she made 39 films and recorded more than 600 songs) with four failed marriages and a son (music producer Terry Melcher) who was “more of a brother or father-figure than a son to his mother.” Kaufman also uncovers that she was born in 1922, making her two years older than reference works state. Mismanaged by her third husband (their 16-year marriage was “a business arrangement” by their fifth anniversary), her career (and legacy) was severely damaged by the last seven films she made over a three-year period. This is an eye-opening, fair-minded bio of a woman who brought a lot of joy to fans but has found very little herself.

[Cherie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Doris Day has been a favorite star of mine since I was a little girl. My dad would take me to see all of her movies, and buy all of the albums.I would sing along and used to think I sounded just like her! As I grew older, I still enjoyed her later movies, the ones she made with Rock Hudson and James Garner. She always was the girl next door and later the girl next door grown up. Her real life was not quite the sunny, happy go lucky stuff of her movies. She spent most of her married life with a man,Marty Melchor, who, as her agent, as well as her husband, was very controlling and made all of her decisions for her. He wanted to keep her image squeeky clean and would not let her do any other kind of movies. There never was a lot of love in her marriage and she search outside of her marriage for the love she missed. In her later life, after the death of Melchor, and the divorce from a younger man she married, she became somewhat of a recluse and devoted all her energies to animal rights causes and animal care.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book about Doris Day, since I really didn't know a lot about her personal life. I had just seen her in a few silly comedies. It did make me want to see a movie of hers, so I checked out "Lullaby on Broadway", which was an earlier movie, that I thoroughly enjoyed. I didn't know she was a "triple threat", in that she started out by dancing, then singing, and then acting. It's hard to know just what to believe. For instance on page 351, she is scheduled for the movie "Move over Darling" which was in production in April, May, and June, 1963(completed in 53 days) yet it says that production was held up because Doris was listening to the World Series, on her transistor radio, which doesn't happen until October. Doris has several affairs, according to the author, but again, I don't really know whether to believe him. The rehashing of all 39 movies took quite a while, and I will probably watch a few more of her movies now.

[Koren · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are a big Doris Day fan I think you will love this biography. The book is well-researched and detailed. While I am not a huge fan, I do remember watching her television show in the 70's and it so happened that Pillow Talk was showing on the classic movie station while I was reading the book so I watched it and enjoyed it. Anyone that is around my age is sure to remember her most famous song- Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be Will Be). I was hoping there would be more about her son's involvement with Charles Manson, but there was very little and maybe that was all there is to the story. Basically, Charles was trying to go through him to get a recording deal and he owned the house and rented out the house that Sharon Thate was killed in. For me, the book was very tedious and I skimmed a lot. At 540 pages, I think it could have been about 100 pages shorter.

[Walter Rabon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't find many bios on Doris Day and evidently there are not many as she is a very private person and keen on maintaining her screen image. I have heard favorable comments on her autobiography but wanted an outsiders perspective which is provided here but there is just not good source material. I kept wishing the writing were better but it's mostly quotes from movie reviews and many many folks who you feel we're not entirely close to Day though they may have known her well for a short period of time. Glad I read this but it was hard going. Most anybody that is close to her is now gone so I wonder if there will ever be a thorough and well written bio on her?

[Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I almost put this book down after the first few chapters. Kaufman was quoting so many other sources, I felt like I was just reading recaps from other authors. Once the book advanced into Doris' film career, Kaufman's writing increased and improved. I did enjoy reading about the behind the scenes for her movies. After reading this book, I have a different perspective of Doris Day... and while I admire the work she has done for her four-legged friends, she definitely does not display the people skills I thought she had.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book made me appreciate how difficult it must be to write a biography. It was overly long and uneven, with occasional jarring digressions, repetitions of statements from a few pages back, lengthy synopses of dull movies, and weak attempts at psychoanalysis. And yet, for reasons unknown, I found its mediocrity soothing and looked forward to reading it before bed. Having known virtually nothing about Doris Day prior to picking this up, I am now well versed enough to feel sorry for her.

[Ginger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Growing up, we watched Doris Day movies as a family and had such fun. As an adult, when I married a Cincinnati boy, I became even more interested in Doris Day. I truly enjoyed this read, even though finding out about the less than sunny side of her life was sad. I definately reccommend this book, for those who loved Doris Day movies. It gives you a better perspective of where her talent came from and was nourished. As well as what made her the woman who became queen of the box office.

[Elaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

An insightful look at the enigma that is Doris Day. Marty Melcher puppet, Devoted friend until one did something to make her angry. This book is neither a criticism of Miss Day or a fairy tale version of her life. I found it to be an honest portrayal of a woman who though a star was never quite comfortable with Hollywood and a little sad.

[Tawnya · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't think the author could have made this read any more boring. In the first hundred pages there were possibly two bits of interesting informaion about Doris Day. the book is more of an information line as to the movies Day was in and the who and what around those movies.

[Kayci Schmidt · Rating 3 out of 5]

I skimmed through most of this, because there were far to many production details. I wanted to learn about Doris Day, not the workings of every other film she made, and the ones she missed out on. The writing style was not entertaining at all.

[Fred · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been a fan since I was a young teenager and this book opens one's eyes. Doris was much more than just a pretty face and a beautiful voice.

[Patrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I tend to not read biographies of movie stars, but as noted in my review of Day's autobiography, my interest was piqued after her death, and having read that book, I felt inclined to read what I thought might be a bit more objective account of things, which indeed this book turned out to be. About the only thing that I didn't like about the book was that Kaufman quoted too many critics' reviews of her movies.

That said, it was pretty thoroughly researched, from what I can tell, as Kaufman spoke with what seems to have been almost every living person associated with Day. In many ways, my view of her remains much the same... that she was an immensely, broadly talented performer (whether as singer or actor) who couldn't find all that much success in her personal life. Her consistent mantra as regards her fame and fortune was that she never wanted any of it... all she ever wanted was to get married, have kids, and be a housewife. And I do believe that perhaps with the exception of the work she did to help and protect animals later in her life, she died a pretty unhappy woman.

There are a great deal of behind-the-scenes tidbits with regard to her film career, such as the movies she (or her husband/agent Marty Melcher) turned down or that she appeared in. Much is made of her public persona as the "girl next door," with which her autobiography ostensibly took issue, and how Melcher propped it up with the films he contracted for her, but it's pretty clear that she controlled how she wanted to be seen as much as Melcher had. I was surprised to find (as noted in both books) that Day had turned down the role of Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate.

I believe that Day lived all of her life with sort of a PTSD after her parents' divorce while she was young. I think she preferred living in denial about a lot of things, and I think it had serious consequences with almost all of her relationships, whether family, friends, or employees. While I can be empathetic, I also can't understand how she would dismiss people from her life for virtually no good reason. That might have been the hardest thing for me to understand about her, because so many people spoke of her genuine generosity and kindness as an employer or co-worker on the set of a film.

Day constantly struggled with confidence, although not so much as a performer, but in the way she looked. I get that. I think so many people will admit to not liking the way they look, and I suppose that in show business, it tends to have a bit more gravity because of the mass audiences, but I have to admit to being somewhat surprised (and to be honest, a little disappointed) by the fact that she had facelift surgery done a couple of times, and breast augmentation. (This seems to explain her first appearance with Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show in which she was bra-less and not too shy about it, as the show was taped not long after her surgery.)

Day was a cultural fixture for probably the first twenty years of my life, but I honestly didn't give her much thought when it was happening. But in reading these two books, and binging (binge-ing? bingeing?) on her films as I have for the last few weeks, I've become even more appreciative of her talent, as well as (to a degree) of her as a person. She was in so many ways so ordinary. Like so many people (famous or not), she ran the gamut from being deeply flawed to being near-perfect.

[Alexandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been a life long fan of Doris, I have all her movies and read quite a few books about her. This is one of the better ones. It goes into an enormous amount of detail about her life in the movies and some detail of her private life up until around 2008, although not in the same detail as some biographies. It does repeat details a bit throughout and can seem a bit repetitive and to be honest takes effort to keep going. The thing I found more intriguing about this book is almost the in between the lines reading you do, if you understand what I mean. You get a picture of a woman who is vastly different from her Hollywood image but also one who never really seemed to know who she was herself. She always maintained that all she wanted was to be a wife and mother but serially married either abusive men or father figures and was frankly a terrible mother to her son. Her Hollywood image was of the perpetual virgin and whilst she maintains that she never did anything to encourage this, through reading this book it is very obvious that she put a great deal of effort into keeping that image. No doubt she was a fantastic actress, her dramatic roles prove this, but she was and still is a complete enigma. It did open my eyes somewhat and was, although difficult to get through, very enjoyable. I gave it four stars as mentioned because of the repetition and feel it could have been written better to flow more.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Skimmity skim skim skim. 535 pages of Doris Day, plus more than 50 pages of notes. And yet somehow not enlightening or particularly even interesting. But here's something: In the 40s, Day was married briefly to George Weidler, older brother of Hollywood child actress Virginia Weidler. So, for a while there, Doris Day was sister-in-law to Norma Shearer's daughter from The Women, and Katherine Hepburn's little sister from The Philadelphia Story. Did you know that? I didn't. Otherwise, I didn't get much from this book.

[Katie Boggs · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought that this would be a slightly salacious look at the glory days of Hollywood...and instead found myself tediously working through pages about an actress that comes across as selfish, oblivious to others, and generally unpleasant. I thought that the author tried valiantly to defend Day, and present her as a likable human being, but failed. It was utterly forgettable and not worth reading.

[Elise Shedd]

I have a very different perspective on Doris Day now.Having that cheery disposition was a facade and made her a star.But it also stagnated and ended her movie career at an early age.She seemed indifferent and insensitive to other people's problems by no longer being a friend to a person except her fans.Even to this day she is considered a virginal star and she had been married more than three times.

[Red · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a LOT drier then I thought it would be. I is very factual, the author interviewed hundreds (it seems) of Day's friend's acquaintances, co-workers, etc. But the life story doesn't come across with much "life" more like a recitation of facts and events, rather then anecdotes. I gave up after a hundred pages. Next time I'll try her autobiography.

[Lisa Gregor · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yawn... If you want to know which day Doris gets her hair done, how often she uses the restroom or how many hair follicles she has under her armpits, this is the book for you. I like Doris, but not enough to go through pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and page of uninteresting and useless data. Couldn’t finish it...didn't want to.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a thoroughly researched book on a true movie star but it was so long I just couldn't finish it before it was due back at the library.

[Mary Little · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was disappointed a little. I always liked Doris Day. Don't know why she felt like she had more to tell.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I usually find biographies interesting, but I just couldn't get into this one. I stopped after about fifty pages.

[Mediaman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just as many old Doris Day movies don't hold up well in retrospect (Jumbo, That Touch of Mink, Julie) this book that was so refreshing 15 years ago seems really bad when reading it after Day's passing.

The gigantic volume is filled with all sorts of nonsense, much of which has nothing to do directly with Doris Day. There is way too much about her third husband's business dealings and even ridiculous tangents like her son's dating history. Kaufman inserts his own wacky opinions throughout and uses sections of the book to critique critics, magazine writers, and other authors. Then this gay writer also throws in some strange asides about Calamity Jane being a lesbian film, a totally insignificant meeting that a drag queen had with the star, and Rock Hudson's hidden sexuality in Pillow Talk. None of this has much to do with the subject of the book and in the middle of it I was screaming, "What about Doris Day?"

If you cut out about 300 pages you might have a skeleton idea of her life and career. The author seems to want to avoid any information he can't find printed elsewhere and the only truly eye-opening section to me was her affairs with Major League Baseball players (the details again coming from other written sources and denied by Day's own autobiography). There are interviews he conducted but most add nothing special and the large amount of fan input he includes is unnecessary.

Some of her hits that have the most longevity don't really get much extra attention here; meanwhile he gives specific production dates and details for movies none of us will care about. The author overpraises some of the older work that seems dated while not taking seriously some of Day's movies that rerun well decades later.

The author actually writes about The Thrill of It All "the film hasn't aged well." It is one of her greatest films (she considered it her second best) that is rerun a lot, but the real story hidden in the pages is that Kaufman objects to the movie's message that it's okay for a woman to want to be a homemaker, going off on another tangent about women's rights. The film, written by the great Carl Reiner, of course says the opposite by showing a powerful early 1960s woman at work and making life decisions for herself.

The author then subtly puts down her next movies Move Over Darling and Send Me No Flowers. These three, along with Glass Bottom Boat, are some of the funniest 1960s comedies ever made and show off her amazing comedic abilities as well as gorgeous body.

Kaufman inappropriately uses the book to push his own agenda and warped opinions. He does clearly make the point that the Doris Day on screen was not the same in real life--she was really very self-centered, standoffish, a distant wife, cheap, mean to employees and friends, and sexually wild. That is the conclusion he clearly wanted to leave us with but did a poor job making it.

[Kindra · Rating 2 out of 5]

Coming into this biography I knew very little about the subject. I had seen a few of her movies, and that was about it. While I can say I definitively know more about her now than I did before I read this, the knowledge did not come easily.
There were several things that made the reading difficult for me. In my experiences, a biography typically dwells on the subjects childhood for a relatively significant portion of the book-here, she is married by page 30 (which is not an exaggeration). Considering that the book is 540 pages, that just felt jarring, and a bit odd.

The timeline was also confusing to me, as the author would drop a major life event at the end of a chapter, such as a wedding, and then at the beginning of the next chapter be back in production of a movie before she had even met the future spouse, or was still married to her previous one. In some instances it almost seemed like he was following the timelines of her movies, rather than the timeline of her life. I felt like to an extent Doris got lost amidst the tedious details of each and every movie and project she participated in. And, as other reviewers have stated, the thin pages merely make the read even more tiresome and sluggish. As a result, I found myself majorly skimming major parts of it, mostly whenever she has interactions with a fan, or a new project is introduced. The details were just too overwhelming and not engaging for me.

That being said, I do feel like I understand far more about why she is so famous, and can appreciate her legacy. But....boy, I'm glad to be done! Thank goodness for the pictures included, they were a lifeline to look forward to.

[Kindra McRobbie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Coming into this biography I knew very little about the subject. I had seen a few of her movies, and that was about it. While I can say I definitely know more about her now than I did before I read this, the knowledge did not come easily.

There were several things that made the reading difficult for me. In my experiences, a biography typically dwells on the subjects childhood for a relatively significant t portion of the book-here, she is married by page 30 (which is not an exaggeration). Considering that the book is 540 pages, that just felt jarring, and a bit odd.

The timeline was also confusing to me, as the author would drop a major life event at the end of a chapter, such as a wedding, and then at the beginning of the next chapter be back in production of a movie before she had even met the future spouse, or was still married to her previous one. In seem instances it almost seemed like he was following the timelines of her movies, rather than the timeline of her life. I felt like to an extent Doris got lost amidst the tedious details of each and every movie and project she participated in. And, as other reviewers have stated, the thing pages merely made the read even more tiresome and sluggish. As a result, I found myself majorly skimming major Marty’s of it, mostly whenever she has interactions with a fan, or a new project is introduced. The details were just too overwhelming and not engaging for me.

That being said, I do feel like I understand far more about why she is so famous, and can appreciate her legacy. But….boy, I’m glad to be done! Thank goodness for the pictures included, they were a lifeline to look forward to.