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Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask about Sex
Intimate Issues answers the twenty-one questions about sex most frequently asked by Christian wives, as determined by a nationwide poll of over one thousand women. Written from the perspective of two mature Christian wives and Bible teachers–women who you’ll come to know as teachers and friends–Intimate Issues is biblical and informative: sometimes humorous, other times practical, but always honest. Through its solid teaching warm testimonials, scriptural insights, and experts’ advise, you’ll find resolution for your questions and fears, surprising insights about God’s perspective on sex, and a variety of practical and creative ideas for enhancing your physical relationship with the husband you love.
With warmth and wisdom, authors Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus speak woman to woman: examining the teachings of Scripture, exposing the lies of the world, and offering real hope that every woman’s marriage relationship can become all it was intended to be in God’s design.
With warmth and wisdom, authors Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus speak woman to woman: examining the teachings of Scripture, exposing the lies of the world, and offering real hope that every woman’s marriage relationship can become all it was intended to be in God’s design.
274 pages, Hardcover
Published April 6, 1999
134 people are currently reading
2231 people want to read
About the author
Linda Dillow
37 books162 followersLinda Dillow is no stranger to publishing and adventure. She's the author of Creative Counterpart, Calm My Anxious Heart, and The Blessings Book. Linda and her husband Jody lived in Europe and Asia for 17 years training Christian leaders in closed countries with Biblical Education by Extension, During this time, Linda traveled extensively in Romania, Russia, Hungary, Poland and Asia. She taught women and helped them launch women's ministries. This fire for encouraging and educating others continues as she speaks at women's conferences here and abroad.
Linda's newest adventure is a new ministry that she started with Dr. Juli Slattery- Authentic Intimacy. This ministry focuses on women and their intimacy with their husbands and God.
Linda and Jody Dillow have been married forty years. She is a mother of four children, as well as a grandmother.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews
April 17, 2007
This paints a very backwards image of what sex really is. It starts with their understanding of Genesis and the two creation accounts described. They choose several verses and use them to make 7 points about the differences between men and women, only one of which demonstrates any kind of thoughtful understanding of what Genesis is really about. They actually say that man was created with a need (sex) and woman was created to fill that need. Ahh!
Over and over the authors describe how sex is to be the woman's ministry to her husband, that the Christian life is about not sinning (as opposed to actively pursuing things that are of Christ), and basically how women are sexually cold and men are cave manish in their pursuit of sex. I found it very shallow, not to mention frustrating, and would only recommend very small, particular portions of this book to anyone.
Over and over the authors describe how sex is to be the woman's ministry to her husband, that the Christian life is about not sinning (as opposed to actively pursuing things that are of Christ), and basically how women are sexually cold and men are cave manish in their pursuit of sex. I found it very shallow, not to mention frustrating, and would only recommend very small, particular portions of this book to anyone.
January 6, 2022
MY REVIEW:
There are some things that are just plain tricky to talk about. The topic of sex is probably on the top of that list. However, Lorraine and Linda have creatively, sensitively, and beautifully written a book that addresses the issue of sexual intimacy in marriage in a way that is respectful and honest. I appreciate their hard work to compile a comprehensive book about sex that is biblical, appropriate, and God-glorifying.
I believe that this book can and will minister to the heart of any woman no matter what her background and past experiences are as long as she desires to grow in her understanding of God's gift of sex. If you truly long to grow and change, you will enjoy and be encouraged by this study of intimacy. But if you are looking for a way to back-up your personal opinions you will find yourself chafing against the content of this book.
The authors start off by building a foundational understanding of what sex is and what God thinks about it as found in Scripture. From there the book moves through three phases - general understanding and core beliefs, dealing with personal issues and problems, and finally practical application and help for growing more Christ-like in your marriage. They deal with heavy topics such as pornography and the affect of abortion, to recapturing passion, and what's not okay in the marriage bed. Their sensitive and friend-to-friend approach will calm you, encourage you, and help you walk away with at least one area to work on your own marriage even if you have read every other marriage/sex book out there.
Intimate Issues includes a 12 week Bible study that can be used for personal growth or in a small group setting. I highly recommend this book to any woman who is married or counseling married women. For those who desire to become more like Christ in every area of their life this is a "must read".
There are some things that are just plain tricky to talk about. The topic of sex is probably on the top of that list. However, Lorraine and Linda have creatively, sensitively, and beautifully written a book that addresses the issue of sexual intimacy in marriage in a way that is respectful and honest. I appreciate their hard work to compile a comprehensive book about sex that is biblical, appropriate, and God-glorifying.
I believe that this book can and will minister to the heart of any woman no matter what her background and past experiences are as long as she desires to grow in her understanding of God's gift of sex. If you truly long to grow and change, you will enjoy and be encouraged by this study of intimacy. But if you are looking for a way to back-up your personal opinions you will find yourself chafing against the content of this book.
The authors start off by building a foundational understanding of what sex is and what God thinks about it as found in Scripture. From there the book moves through three phases - general understanding and core beliefs, dealing with personal issues and problems, and finally practical application and help for growing more Christ-like in your marriage. They deal with heavy topics such as pornography and the affect of abortion, to recapturing passion, and what's not okay in the marriage bed. Their sensitive and friend-to-friend approach will calm you, encourage you, and help you walk away with at least one area to work on your own marriage even if you have read every other marriage/sex book out there.
Intimate Issues includes a 12 week Bible study that can be used for personal growth or in a small group setting. I highly recommend this book to any woman who is married or counseling married women. For those who desire to become more like Christ in every area of their life this is a "must read".
December 7, 2012
A sensitive book for women who struggle with sexual intimacy. The book covers a fairly broad spectrum of issues, so it would be especially helpful for those with painful sexual experiences in their past.
May 2, 2018
I found this book at a thrift store and figured I'd read it to see what it had to say. I'm glad I did! Being raised in a very conservative Christian home, the marriage relationship was not discussed, and I never took the time to study God's Word to find out what He had to say. This book addresses questions of all kinds, with answers coming straight from the Bible. Like all Christian books, you read it, chew on it, spit out the bones, etc, but it was an encouragement to me to see what God has to say about the physical relationship between husband and wife.
February 5, 2010
I debated whether or not I should even list this book, based in its subject, but its about sex within marriage and other marriage related issues and this is nothing to be embarrassed about. I highly recommend this book to all Christian wives. It is very uplifting, encouraging and insightful as well as convicting.
July 24, 2024
This book is written by two women but you’d think it was written by a man with very old views on how women should behave.
I read this based off a Rec someone gave me, and it certainly had some intresting things to say, however it is trying to push this notion that a woman’s place is to shut her mouth and be agreeable no matter the circumstances- at least that was my takeaway.
I read this based off a Rec someone gave me, and it certainly had some intresting things to say, however it is trying to push this notion that a woman’s place is to shut her mouth and be agreeable no matter the circumstances- at least that was my takeaway.
July 29, 2016
Something I really like about this author is that she seems to write Christianity in a way that seems both modern and relevant, and not at all stuffy. Her books have accompanying bible studies, which I think would be interesting but I couldn't really see myself in a bible study with a bunch of women about SEX (though I would like it very much, to be totally candid). I think one of the problems I face as a Christian is a loneliness, like how you make Christianity pervasive in your life without potentially driving other people away or causing them to take every single possible opportunity to point out your inevitable hypocrisy? Generally I try to do the walk and keep my mouth shut, since I'm not into the evangelical thing much at all.
Anyway, this book shows how a woman can be both godly and sensuous, though she does seem to accept the premise that because Song of Solomon is in the bible it's good and should be there and isn't just a little bit of erotica tossed in to break up the monotony of some of the earlier works. She also hit on a lot of the sections in the epistles (1 Cor 7 ie, "Do it all the time") that I've noticed but no one ever talks about. There was a bit of dogma though, like fornication is bad, porn is bad, romance novels are bad (song of solomon is good?), homosexuality/orgies/swinging is bad. Oral sex and quickies are ok (and even masturbation if you're not fantasizing about someone other than your husband), but she was strangely silent on buttsex other than to say that sodomy = man + man, so I dunno. Other than some of the unanswered questions I rather enjoyed this book.
I liked this book but felt like it was really non-specific. Even the "spicy cut-open" section of the book was like "leave love notes around the house, then feed him chicken and rice, and you're the dessert!" It didn't give many ideas for foreplay or what exactly you should be doing for sex, only that certain things are ok (oral sex is referenced many times in Song of Solomon) and certain things aren't, but no good ideas to get the creative juices flowing.
Anyway, this book shows how a woman can be both godly and sensuous, though she does seem to accept the premise that because Song of Solomon is in the bible it's good and should be there and isn't just a little bit of erotica tossed in to break up the monotony of some of the earlier works. She also hit on a lot of the sections in the epistles (1 Cor 7 ie, "Do it all the time") that I've noticed but no one ever talks about. There was a bit of dogma though, like fornication is bad, porn is bad, romance novels are bad (song of solomon is good?), homosexuality/orgies/swinging is bad. Oral sex and quickies are ok (and even masturbation if you're not fantasizing about someone other than your husband), but she was strangely silent on buttsex other than to say that sodomy = man + man, so I dunno. Other than some of the unanswered questions I rather enjoyed this book.
I liked this book but felt like it was really non-specific. Even the "spicy cut-open" section of the book was like "leave love notes around the house, then feed him chicken and rice, and you're the dessert!" It didn't give many ideas for foreplay or what exactly you should be doing for sex, only that certain things are ok (oral sex is referenced many times in Song of Solomon) and certain things aren't, but no good ideas to get the creative juices flowing.
February 11, 2022
I waffled back and forth between giving this book 3 or 4 stars. I would give it 3.5/5 stars if I could!
What I think this book did well was structure it in a user friendly format, with each chapter covering a different question or topic related to intimacy, so a person could read isolated chapters related to their questions or experiences. This book also has some good practical next steps or journal prompts to help apply content to one’s personal situation. The writing style was very easy to read and felt like having a conversation with someone.
Cautions for this book: I didn’t love the way they used the Scripture verses to back up their points. It seemed they would make a point and reference one verse, using whatever translation best supported their point rather than looker at the broader context of the passage as a whole. This book also looks only at the woman’s heart or what the woman can do in various intimacy issues (ex. How a woman can respond to a husband using pornography), which is just good to be aware of—issues in sexual intimacy involve two people, so this book should not be treated as an all-in-one resource for all intimacy issues. Finally, I also feel it would be a good resource for women who are already married, I don’t feel it would be helpful for women before they are married.
Overall, parts were helpful, but it is not a “must-read” book on the topic of intimacy, in my opinion.
What I think this book did well was structure it in a user friendly format, with each chapter covering a different question or topic related to intimacy, so a person could read isolated chapters related to their questions or experiences. This book also has some good practical next steps or journal prompts to help apply content to one’s personal situation. The writing style was very easy to read and felt like having a conversation with someone.
Cautions for this book: I didn’t love the way they used the Scripture verses to back up their points. It seemed they would make a point and reference one verse, using whatever translation best supported their point rather than looker at the broader context of the passage as a whole. This book also looks only at the woman’s heart or what the woman can do in various intimacy issues (ex. How a woman can respond to a husband using pornography), which is just good to be aware of—issues in sexual intimacy involve two people, so this book should not be treated as an all-in-one resource for all intimacy issues. Finally, I also feel it would be a good resource for women who are already married, I don’t feel it would be helpful for women before they are married.
Overall, parts were helpful, but it is not a “must-read” book on the topic of intimacy, in my opinion.
August 24, 2015
I read this book to help prepare for a Sunday School class I was teaching to Mother's of Young Children on the subject of Sex, Romance, and Purity. I found the book to be well written and interesting. The questions covered a broad area of material from a medical , emotional, and spiritual perspective . I liked how the subject matter was divided into 3 sections - simmering, smoldering, and sizzling, ranging from General - what does God think about sex ? What to do if I don't really want to " do it" , to what about pornography? Are quickies ok? How do I recapture passion? Because my husband is an OB/ Gyn there are many books about women's issues and sex in our home . This may not be the best book on the subject I have ever read, but I think if you are looking for some clear biblical answers or helps to some difficult questions I would recommend this book.
July 10, 2016
"Read" is not quite the right word, more like "skimmed".
This book is not written for my generation.
As a whole, the authors put forth a very passive approach to dealing with intimacy, and while I do believe that prayer and scripture are important ways to find answers, there is more that could be done. There is an overarching philosophy that women are to serve their husbands in sex, and that husbands are just sex-desiring creatures that should not be expected to do anything but "whip it out" when they want it.
I think this book could help in a discussion-based book/Bible study, and I think it could be helpful to women who have some significant barriers to their sexuality; it just wasn't for me.
This book is not written for my generation.
As a whole, the authors put forth a very passive approach to dealing with intimacy, and while I do believe that prayer and scripture are important ways to find answers, there is more that could be done. There is an overarching philosophy that women are to serve their husbands in sex, and that husbands are just sex-desiring creatures that should not be expected to do anything but "whip it out" when they want it.
I think this book could help in a discussion-based book/Bible study, and I think it could be helpful to women who have some significant barriers to their sexuality; it just wasn't for me.
July 18, 2017
Written with compassion, humor, and understanding, Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus answer every married couples' burning questions about what is appropriate and acceptable in the marriage bed. If you've got questions that have gone unanswered, want more intimacy with your spouse, or feel ashamed of your past sexual life, this is the book for you! Safe, sound biblical teaching. Some of the answers may surprise you!
But it's not only about sex. Just as a husband is supposed to love his wife as Jesus Christ loves the church, one can easily assess her relationship with Father/Son/Holy Spirit while reading this gem. I've experienced conviction in many areas of life while reading this, not just in the sex department.
But it's not only about sex. Just as a husband is supposed to love his wife as Jesus Christ loves the church, one can easily assess her relationship with Father/Son/Holy Spirit while reading this gem. I've experienced conviction in many areas of life while reading this, not just in the sex department.
September 28, 2010
Such a WONDERFUL book for married Christian women. The book is about 21 questions Christian women ask about sex. The two women that wrote the book are 'students of scripture' who "want to know God and reveal him in every aspect of life including sex". The answers to the questions are based on scripture and what questions 1,000 women wanted to ask about sexual relationships between a husband and wife. This book not only quotes scripture but also books such as "Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus" and "The Five Love Languages". I wish I would've found this book 10 years ago when it was first written.
July 20, 2014
I think this is a book for any woman, whether her intimacy factor with her husband is where they want it or whether she feels intimacy could be improved. The Biblical verses selected to go with each idea enhanced the book so much, and not in a preachy, condescending way. During the first few chapters, I gained so much understanding of God's creation of sex in a marriage, things I hadn't thought about that way before. The suggested prayers were powerful and on target based on what the chapter was about. I thank the authors for all the time, love and sharing of personal stories that went into this book, and believe that anyone who reads it with an open heart for changing herself will benefit.
March 22, 2013
I'm not married yet, but I found this book very helpful. It touches on a lot of taboo topics. What I liked most about this is that a lot of what is discussed can be applied to more than just a sexual relationship with your husband. It touches on things like communication with him, but also dealing with personal issues as well. I can see myself referencing this in the future. I listened to the audiobook. The narration wasn't my favorite. At times one of the narrators seemed a bit condescending, but overall I did enjoy this book.
May 9, 2008
I can't say enough good things about this book. I've laughed, I've cried and I've rejoiced in a subject that I had no idea I could. It covers such topics as:
"What Does God Think About Sex?"
"How Can I Be Godly and Sensuous?"
"How Can I Remain Faithful in a Faithless World?"
and
"How Can I Recapture the Passion?"
...and many, many more!
I'll be using this book as a reference, probably for the rest of my life. I highly recommend it.
"What Does God Think About Sex?"
"How Can I Be Godly and Sensuous?"
"How Can I Remain Faithful in a Faithless World?"
and
"How Can I Recapture the Passion?"
...and many, many more!
I'll be using this book as a reference, probably for the rest of my life. I highly recommend it.
July 10, 2008
I consider this book pretty 'open' for all stages of Christian faith and all level of age of Christian women.
The only thing I don't like is the fact that this seems to be 'pretty overly important'. Not that I say sex is not important, but everyone can find their way one way or another to resolve this, through the wisdom from God, I assure.
The only thing I don't like is the fact that this seems to be 'pretty overly important'. Not that I say sex is not important, but everyone can find their way one way or another to resolve this, through the wisdom from God, I assure.
March 16, 2012
I challenge any married Christian woman to read this book and find some new reason or way to spice up the intimacy with her spouse. It's a great reminder to cherish one's husband, placing him second in priority only to God, and explains in detail why sex is so important between a husband and wife. I also challenge you to talk about what you've read in this book with your husband.
July 23, 2012
This book was recommended to me by a friend as something I should read before getting married. The book truly opened my eyes to the beauty of God's plan for intimacy between a husband and wife. I look forward to studying further the passages of God's Word that are referenced in the book and someday to experiencing the joy of intimacy with my own husband.
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February 4, 2016My husband and I work with engaged and newly married couples in our church and this book is a must read for anyone engaging in this type of ministry. It is honest, yet compassionate, and gives great advice for any question dealing sex and intimacy. I will definitely be using this as a great reference tool for our couples.
June 4, 2015
A great book that I often use for reference in times of struggle. It is grounded in Scripture, but draws from real experiences and is honest and real about issues that we all deal with...especially those that are often swept under the rug at church.
April 11, 2011
I read this book as a group Bible study. The book gives a good overview of Biblical views of sex within marriage- a topic I never gave much thought. This book has opened some lines of communication within my marriage and improved the quality of my marriage (which was already great!).
September 11, 2011
This book gave very thoughtful, real world advice on being sensuous with your husband, and why a healthy, loving physical relationship between husband and wife is pleasing to God. I have read it several times, and will continue to refer to it. Also great for group discussion in women's ministries.
November 16, 2016
An amazing book! It even addresses bad attitudes and bad thought patterns that we can all fall into. To see our self worth through God's eyes, strive to be godly wives, and to strive to draw ever closer to our husbands.
August 20, 2007
A life changing retreat!!!
June 24, 2008
Every married woman should read this!! I appreciate this book being in my library.
July 23, 2008
I believe this is a book that EVERY woman should read. I don't remember if it has strong Christian influences or not... I don't mind that so I don't tend to recognize when it is there.
September 2, 2008
I love their honesty in this book.
December 8, 2008
A great book for any Christian wife.
January 5, 2010
this is a great book for any married couple
Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews