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When Alice’s mom calls her the day before her twenty-seventh birthday, claiming anything she puts inside herself after midnight will turn into a human, what does Alice do? Shoves a ruler up there, of course.
Now Alice has to learn to live with her new boyfriend, Gage, who’s hung like a ruler and likes to measure stuff.
Now Alice has to learn to live with her new boyfriend, Gage, who’s hung like a ruler and likes to measure stuff.
112 pages, Paperback
Published February 1, 2026
14 people are currently reading
17 people want to read
About the author
Imogen Knowed
17 books28 followersImogen Knowed is a queer, AuDHD girly who hyperfocuses on creating fake people in her head. Instead of letting them stay in there, she writes them down for others to meet. She spends her days programming video games and her nights reading and writing smut. When she’s not writing smut or making video games, she’s hanging out with her family and pets (aka her “pack”).
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https://imogenknowed.com/newsletter
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https://www.instagram.com/imogenknowed/
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
April 8, 2026
The family birthday secret
Mere hours before your birthday and you get a call from Mom. You certainly never expected her to tell you that the family curse goes into effect at midnight. She leaves you with a warning which is basically if you F**k it they will come.
Now you're all wound up and trying to see what every objects pros and cons might be. The more you think about it the crazier it seems but also you get wound tighter. Finally you grab the ruler just to see what could be long enough to activate.
With a memory in mind of disappointing encounters you decide to test this bogus claim and go with the ruler. Imagine your surprise when a bit later that little blue ruler is suddenly a stunning man with a foot long he plans to use.
I freaking love that the personality matches the item. Gage is now your responsibility and he needs to be sure he measures up.
This book was so much fun to read. Really makes you wonder what the pros and cons would be for items.
Alice teaching Gage all the things he needs to know now was a pleasure to read. From basic things like eating, drinking and sleeping to the more fun things like masturbation.
Mere hours before your birthday and you get a call from Mom. You certainly never expected her to tell you that the family curse goes into effect at midnight. She leaves you with a warning which is basically if you F**k it they will come.
Now you're all wound up and trying to see what every objects pros and cons might be. The more you think about it the crazier it seems but also you get wound tighter. Finally you grab the ruler just to see what could be long enough to activate.
With a memory in mind of disappointing encounters you decide to test this bogus claim and go with the ruler. Imagine your surprise when a bit later that little blue ruler is suddenly a stunning man with a foot long he plans to use.
I freaking love that the personality matches the item. Gage is now your responsibility and he needs to be sure he measures up.
This book was so much fun to read. Really makes you wonder what the pros and cons would be for items.
Alice teaching Gage all the things he needs to know now was a pleasure to read. From basic things like eating, drinking and sleeping to the more fun things like masturbation.
February 4, 2026
Rating: 5/5⭐️
Spice: 4.5/5 🌶️
Romance: 4.5/5 🥀
What happens when your family line is cursed to turn any object you F--k to life?
You get Gage. The sentient blue plastic ruler who is know a human and measuring everything and anything.
Honestly this was such a cute read.
Gage is such an adorable dork with all his nerd talk. And Alice is such a "f--k it" character.
If you're looking for a cute little read then this is your book. Don't take everything literal (like Gage). Just enjoy the wholesome story. And maybe ask questions about Abacus and Alice's sister's husband.
I hope Imogen continues this series! It's just soooo wholesome.
Spice: 4.5/5 🌶️
Romance: 4.5/5 🥀
What happens when your family line is cursed to turn any object you F--k to life?
You get Gage. The sentient blue plastic ruler who is know a human and measuring everything and anything.
Honestly this was such a cute read.
Gage is such an adorable dork with all his nerd talk. And Alice is such a "f--k it" character.
If you're looking for a cute little read then this is your book. Don't take everything literal (like Gage). Just enjoy the wholesome story. And maybe ask questions about Abacus and Alice's sister's husband.
I hope Imogen continues this series! It's just soooo wholesome.
February 7, 2026
(I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. Thank you to Imogen Knowed!)
TROPES
📏Sentient Object Romance
📏Reverse Grumpy x Sunshine
📏Golden Retriever MMC
📏He Falls First, She Falls Harder
--💟💟--
GAGE by Imogen Knowed is a sentient object romance novella that follows Alice, a 27 year old, every-day worker who learns from her mother than anything she puts inside her after midnight will turn human. Although initially disbelieving, Alice's curiosity gets the better of her and she finds satisfaction in our greatest childhood memory - a plastic ruler. But when that ruler comes alive as Gage, can Alice come to terms with her new boyfriend who's hung like...a ruler and measures everything?
I have to say, Imogen Knowed has become one of my favorite authors, and as someone who LOVES sentient object romance, I was all in for GAGE before it even came out!
Our characters are primarily Alice and Gage. Alice is your everyday grumpy but secretly longing for companionship FMC and I loved her. She was patient with Gage and helped him understand boundaries, and she was pragmatic and kind! One thing about her is I didn't know why she was so annoyed with her mom - her mom doesn't really come off as an annoying character so Alice's reaction to her was a bit out of the blue for me as a reader - but overall I loved Alice.
Gage, oh Gage 😍I have nothing bad to say about this sunshine ruler boy. He's seen Alice be disappointed in men time and time again and is determined to be the only one for her. Although this makes him a little paranoid and has him measuring everything to make sure it's up to her standards, I loved how sweet Gage was and how he truly just wanted to be the best person for Alice. Seeing him understand how being human works was also just so heartwarming. He and Alice had incredible chemistry!
The spice in this book balances out the sweetness perfectly! Everyone needs a Gage walking around naked in their house 😂but by far my favorite was the birthday scene 👀no spoilers, you'll have to read it and SWOON
Overall, I really, really, REALLY enjoyed this book and I hope Knowed continues the series!! I need to know about Alice's mom and dad especially!
Looking for more of my reviews? Want to contact me? Check out my blog! Shreya Reads, Reviews, and Writes
TROPES
📏Sentient Object Romance
📏Reverse Grumpy x Sunshine
📏Golden Retriever MMC
📏He Falls First, She Falls Harder
--💟💟--
GAGE by Imogen Knowed is a sentient object romance novella that follows Alice, a 27 year old, every-day worker who learns from her mother than anything she puts inside her after midnight will turn human. Although initially disbelieving, Alice's curiosity gets the better of her and she finds satisfaction in our greatest childhood memory - a plastic ruler. But when that ruler comes alive as Gage, can Alice come to terms with her new boyfriend who's hung like...a ruler and measures everything?
I have to say, Imogen Knowed has become one of my favorite authors, and as someone who LOVES sentient object romance, I was all in for GAGE before it even came out!
Our characters are primarily Alice and Gage. Alice is your everyday grumpy but secretly longing for companionship FMC and I loved her. She was patient with Gage and helped him understand boundaries, and she was pragmatic and kind! One thing about her is I didn't know why she was so annoyed with her mom - her mom doesn't really come off as an annoying character so Alice's reaction to her was a bit out of the blue for me as a reader - but overall I loved Alice.
Gage, oh Gage 😍I have nothing bad to say about this sunshine ruler boy. He's seen Alice be disappointed in men time and time again and is determined to be the only one for her. Although this makes him a little paranoid and has him measuring everything to make sure it's up to her standards, I loved how sweet Gage was and how he truly just wanted to be the best person for Alice. Seeing him understand how being human works was also just so heartwarming. He and Alice had incredible chemistry!
The spice in this book balances out the sweetness perfectly! Everyone needs a Gage walking around naked in their house 😂but by far my favorite was the birthday scene 👀no spoilers, you'll have to read it and SWOON
Overall, I really, really, REALLY enjoyed this book and I hope Knowed continues the series!! I need to know about Alice's mom and dad especially!
Looking for more of my reviews? Want to contact me? Check out my blog! Shreya Reads, Reviews, and Writes
February 10, 2026
Have you ever wondered what your ruler would be like as a human? Specifically a human made to please you? Well, wonder no longer!
I had such a good time reading this novella. Imogen tackles sentient object romance with the humor it needs mixed with some truly sweet moments. Oh, and of course plenty of spicy moments.
I had such a good time reading this novella. Imogen tackles sentient object romance with the humor it needs mixed with some truly sweet moments. Oh, and of course plenty of spicy moments.
February 23, 2026
Amazing
Listen, if you told me I would fall for this ruler turned himbo- very much like Alice and the beginning of this book- i wouldn't have believed you. But oh my goodness 🫠😍 the way I LOVE THIS RULER TURNED HIMBO 🤣 this was such a great story. I laughed more times than Gage can count 🤣🥰
Listen, if you told me I would fall for this ruler turned himbo- very much like Alice and the beginning of this book- i wouldn't have believed you. But oh my goodness 🫠😍 the way I LOVE THIS RULER TURNED HIMBO 🤣 this was such a great story. I laughed more times than Gage can count 🤣🥰
March 20, 2026
A delightful romp that definitely measures up
I absolutely ADORED this book. I need at least 15 more, a movie deal, and a live action series. I would fight someone with my own two hands to see her calculator watch dad and her ruler boyfriend interact one on one.
Thank you SO much for this ridiculous little treat. It was *fantastic*.
I absolutely ADORED this book. I need at least 15 more, a movie deal, and a live action series. I would fight someone with my own two hands to see her calculator watch dad and her ruler boyfriend interact one on one.
Thank you SO much for this ridiculous little treat. It was *fantastic*.
February 6, 2026
Aaahhhhhhh I love this 💕💕💕💕! this book is my first sentient object romance and it's so friggin adorable! I love Gage so much, he's sweet and dorky and a cinnamon roll. I'm pleasantly surprised on how much I actually love this book.
March 22, 2026
Excuse me but why am I crying about a ruler!
I loved this! This not only was super spicy, but also made me think about life and love (yes I fully understand this novella is about a ruler that comes to life).
I loved this! This not only was super spicy, but also made me think about life and love (yes I fully understand this novella is about a ruler that comes to life).
April 12, 2026
Quirky
This is everything I love about sentient object books. It was very unserious It was very funny and it was sweet and of course it was very freaky and kinky and I love that for me. Can't wait for book two I'm going to go read that now.
This is everything I love about sentient object books. It was very unserious It was very funny and it was sweet and of course it was very freaky and kinky and I love that for me. Can't wait for book two I'm going to go read that now.
April 13, 2026
What an incredibly fun and unique Sentinel story. I adored Gage, his innocence is so endearing, and it really highlights how much we take the little things for granted. I’m excited to see what Marc brings to the table in the next installment. Imogen sure knows how to keep readers coming back.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews