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The Luck We Carry: Love, Loss, and the Stories that Shape Us
156 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 23, 2026
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February 11, 2026Tender, loving and uplifting essays on healing and moving forward after a loss. A book to pass on to family and friends.
Review of advance copy received from Author
In a word, resplendent. Through recollection essays that read like a memoir, Ron Stempkowski shares how he processed the grief of losing his beloved husband. Yet he accomplished more: he illustrated and honored his great love, Ken Anderson, as well as all the people who surrounded them. Since he shared a close, intimate relationship with his husband, the people who were part of Ron's life before he met Ken are also part of their shared story.
The book's format and timeline are unique, creating a deeper understanding only possible through its concise, effective prose. You feel as if Ron and Ken were part of your own circle of friends and can't help but become fond of them both.
This book recalls Abraham's story in Genesis, when he persuaded God not to destroy humanity by finding ten righteous people, even though the bargain began with fifty. If such a situation arose again, one need only point to Ron's book, and humanity would be saved. Ron does what many of us fail to do: he notices people and the wonder each offers, despite the noise of daily distractions. He shows gratitude for their presence, even if momentary. Through these pages showcasing joy and heartache, you understand the things that make humanity such a marvel.
The book's format and timeline are unique, creating a deeper understanding only possible through its concise, effective prose. You feel as if Ron and Ken were part of your own circle of friends and can't help but become fond of them both.
This book recalls Abraham's story in Genesis, when he persuaded God not to destroy humanity by finding ten righteous people, even though the bargain began with fifty. If such a situation arose again, one need only point to Ron's book, and humanity would be saved. Ron does what many of us fail to do: he notices people and the wonder each offers, despite the noise of daily distractions. He shows gratitude for their presence, even if momentary. Through these pages showcasing joy and heartache, you understand the things that make humanity such a marvel.
April 11, 2026
I finished reading The Luck We Carry about 30 minutes ago. I was in a cafe, different one than I started reading it in, and the walk home was quiet, reflective and actually a little numb, but also full of love. I was wearing my Shokz but no podcast turned on. I was walking and reflecting on Ron's story and my life. There was no space for podcast words.
In The Luck We Carry, Ron has accidentally written a guidebook to life. Really it's a collection of essays of his life. It opens with his real-life meet-cute which is more adorable than anything in a YA novel, but quickly goes into his husband, Ken's cancer and death. It was at that point I had to leave the cafe I was reading in because I was in tears. In just the first part of the book I had fallen in love with Ken and lost him.
The rest of the book Ron shares stories of learning to live without Ken but also with Ken. We always hear about it getting easier to life without sometime in time and saying goodbye to them. It's always seemed wrong to me because it's our experiences that make us who we are. In these emotional and honest essays, Ron shares how he learnt to live with keeping Ken with him while not having Ken with him. It's where the guidebook aspect of not saying goodbye and forgetting that massive part of your life, but reconciling it to move forward with you.
While I've described this as a guidebook, I feel uncomfortable doing it. Ron didn't write a guidebook. He wrote his experiences and his love and feelings. His insights and writing just give us permission to feel, and that, to me, is inspiring and, of sorts, a guidebook.
Thank you Ron for celebrating your love with Ken and sharing it with us. He was a marvellous man and so are you.
In The Luck We Carry, Ron has accidentally written a guidebook to life. Really it's a collection of essays of his life. It opens with his real-life meet-cute which is more adorable than anything in a YA novel, but quickly goes into his husband, Ken's cancer and death. It was at that point I had to leave the cafe I was reading in because I was in tears. In just the first part of the book I had fallen in love with Ken and lost him.
The rest of the book Ron shares stories of learning to live without Ken but also with Ken. We always hear about it getting easier to life without sometime in time and saying goodbye to them. It's always seemed wrong to me because it's our experiences that make us who we are. In these emotional and honest essays, Ron shares how he learnt to live with keeping Ken with him while not having Ken with him. It's where the guidebook aspect of not saying goodbye and forgetting that massive part of your life, but reconciling it to move forward with you.
While I've described this as a guidebook, I feel uncomfortable doing it. Ron didn't write a guidebook. He wrote his experiences and his love and feelings. His insights and writing just give us permission to feel, and that, to me, is inspiring and, of sorts, a guidebook.
Thank you Ron for celebrating your love with Ken and sharing it with us. He was a marvellous man and so are you.
April 1, 2026
Way back...in 2012...I fortunately came upon Ron's blog and was gobsmacked by his open-heart writing style. I remember in those first days of discovery, devouring his stories of love that grew and grew as he battled with his partner to hold onto life and their love. THE LUCK THAT WE CARRY is brave and beautiful and so humanly real. It is a tribute to what it means to truly love in this life.
April 3, 2026
This book stirred something in me . Grief is not only what we have lost but what we are given as well . As
I was reading this book, I thought of my mom and my grandma. I remembered the love they gave me , the lessons they taught me and the ways they both still show up for me today .
Ron, this book is a treasure ! Thank you !
I was reading this book, I thought of my mom and my grandma. I remembered the love they gave me , the lessons they taught me and the ways they both still show up for me today .
Ron, this book is a treasure ! Thank you !
Review of advance copy received from Author
I was lucky enough to receive an advance copy of The Luck We Carry, and it’s one of those books that lingers long after you’ve finished it.
Structured around journal entries written during the unfolding of the story - crafted as immersive, deeply moving essays - this autobiographical work gently traces Ron’s journey from the beginning of a beautiful love story, through becoming a caregiver during his partner’s battle with cancer, and into the long, complicated landscape of grief that followed. He writes about his partner, his fear, his hope, and his world with a depth and clarity that only a truly gifted writer can capture. Every page feels intentional, honest, and emotionally precise.
What makes this book especially powerful is the dual perspective. Ron doesn’t simply share the essays as they were written; he reflects on them years later as he brings them together for this book. Looking back at his own words - written in the thick of love, exhaustion, and heartbreak - he offers insight into how he has changed. That layering beautifully mirrors the evolution of grief itself.
The second half follows him for more than a decade after his partner’s death, showing how grief doesn’t disappear but slowly transforms. Anyone who has loved deeply or lost someone dear will feel seen. This is a tender, reflective book about love, chosen family, resilience, and the quiet luck of having loved at all.
Structured around journal entries written during the unfolding of the story - crafted as immersive, deeply moving essays - this autobiographical work gently traces Ron’s journey from the beginning of a beautiful love story, through becoming a caregiver during his partner’s battle with cancer, and into the long, complicated landscape of grief that followed. He writes about his partner, his fear, his hope, and his world with a depth and clarity that only a truly gifted writer can capture. Every page feels intentional, honest, and emotionally precise.
What makes this book especially powerful is the dual perspective. Ron doesn’t simply share the essays as they were written; he reflects on them years later as he brings them together for this book. Looking back at his own words - written in the thick of love, exhaustion, and heartbreak - he offers insight into how he has changed. That layering beautifully mirrors the evolution of grief itself.
The second half follows him for more than a decade after his partner’s death, showing how grief doesn’t disappear but slowly transforms. Anyone who has loved deeply or lost someone dear will feel seen. This is a tender, reflective book about love, chosen family, resilience, and the quiet luck of having loved at all.
Review of advance copy received from Author
The Luck We Carry is a deeply moving and intimate look at the evolution of grief. It isn't a self-help guide to get over loss, but rather a reflection of how grief moves, carries, and changes us over time. I think anyone who has dealt with loss knows all too well the pressure of feeling like you have to "move on" or even stay frozen in grief out of fear or guilt. The Luck We Carry shows how we move with grief and the beauty that can come with life after loss just by showing up.
This book made me laugh, cry (more than I should probably admit), but more importantly, made me reflect on my own relationship with grief. I've always felt a sort of shame or guilt when inviting in new love and life after loss. The Luck We Carry made me realize that the things and people that come into your life aren't replacing a loss or erasing memories. They're joining you in the places where you have been fractured.
The Luck We Carry is beautifully written and truly inspiring. There are so many passages I would have highlighted if I had a physical copy. But ultimately, the book taught me that we don't ever "move on" from the people and things we love - we move forward with all of their love, laughter, and life lessons. And that's the luck anyone should be truly grateful to carry.
This book made me laugh, cry (more than I should probably admit), but more importantly, made me reflect on my own relationship with grief. I've always felt a sort of shame or guilt when inviting in new love and life after loss. The Luck We Carry made me realize that the things and people that come into your life aren't replacing a loss or erasing memories. They're joining you in the places where you have been fractured.
The Luck We Carry is beautifully written and truly inspiring. There are so many passages I would have highlighted if I had a physical copy. But ultimately, the book taught me that we don't ever "move on" from the people and things we love - we move forward with all of their love, laughter, and life lessons. And that's the luck anyone should be truly grateful to carry.
Review of advance copy received from Author
POV: You pick up a grief memoir thinking you’re “emotionally prepared.” You were not.
This book isn’t dramatic.
It’s not trying to inspire you with glittery healing quotes. It’s quiet. It’s honest. It’s the kind of writing that feels like someone sitting across from you saying, “This is what it actually felt like.”
Ron writes about losing his husband in a way that doesn’t beg for sympathy. It just tells the truth. The world looks the same, but nothing feels the same and that subtle shift? That’s where this book lives. In the in-between. In the ordinary moments that suddenly feel heavier.
But here’s the part that got me: it’s not just about loss. It’s about how love doesn’t leave. How grief is proof that something beautiful existed. There’s warmth. There’s quiet humor. There’s this steady reminder that surviving doesn’t mean forgetting.
The author notes after each essay? Emotional damage. In the best way. It feels personal, reflective, like you’re being trusted with someone’s real, unfiltered heart.
If you’ve ever loved deeply, lost someone, or wondered how people carry on after “the worst thing”… this one will sit with you long after you close it.
This book isn’t dramatic.
It’s not trying to inspire you with glittery healing quotes. It’s quiet. It’s honest. It’s the kind of writing that feels like someone sitting across from you saying, “This is what it actually felt like.”
Ron writes about losing his husband in a way that doesn’t beg for sympathy. It just tells the truth. The world looks the same, but nothing feels the same and that subtle shift? That’s where this book lives. In the in-between. In the ordinary moments that suddenly feel heavier.
But here’s the part that got me: it’s not just about loss. It’s about how love doesn’t leave. How grief is proof that something beautiful existed. There’s warmth. There’s quiet humor. There’s this steady reminder that surviving doesn’t mean forgetting.
The author notes after each essay? Emotional damage. In the best way. It feels personal, reflective, like you’re being trusted with someone’s real, unfiltered heart.
If you’ve ever loved deeply, lost someone, or wondered how people carry on after “the worst thing”… this one will sit with you long after you close it.
March 24, 2026
The Luck We Carry is a beautiful book that chronicles the journey the author, Ron Stempkowski, has had with grief in the years since his beloved husband, Ken, was diagnosed with cancer and ultimately passed away. His love for his husband is so palpable and present, and the book is a lovely tribute to the life they built together and the vacuum that was left when Ken died. These stories are uplifting and inspirational, and at times completely heart-wrenching. The author has such an incredible way of describing difficult and complex feelings while still making them accessible and relatable. Each chapter ends with an “Author’s Note” that were like arrows to the heart – words so beautifully and carefully chosen to encapsulate the weight of each story and all that it meant to him.
In a world that tends to reward those who compartmentalize feelings quickly and easily and encourages people to “move on”, this book made me delve into the complex world of grief and honestly made me feel hopeful through it. I can’t recommend this book enough for people who have loved and lost… the luckiest ones of us all.
In a world that tends to reward those who compartmentalize feelings quickly and easily and encourages people to “move on”, this book made me delve into the complex world of grief and honestly made me feel hopeful through it. I can’t recommend this book enough for people who have loved and lost… the luckiest ones of us all.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Let your friends and family know they won’t see you for a day or two, because once you’ve started, you won’t want to put it down.
I’m not usually one for reading about grief, it makes me too sad and I figure life is difficult enough without purposely adding to the emotional roller coaster, but I wanted to read this one.
It’s a love story. It’s about coping with grief and coming out the other side. It’s about resilience. It’s about knowing when it’s ok to feel a certain way. It’ll make you giggle, most likely make you cry, but when you turn that last page, or tap the screen to end the book, you’ll feel like you know Ken and Ron and most definitely will feel empowered.
Ron has a way of writing that seems effortless. It feels real and raw, and regardless of the loss you’ve experienced in your own life, you’ll find a way to sit and ponder, and look at your own life, love and loss.
Loved this so much.
I’m not usually one for reading about grief, it makes me too sad and I figure life is difficult enough without purposely adding to the emotional roller coaster, but I wanted to read this one.
It’s a love story. It’s about coping with grief and coming out the other side. It’s about resilience. It’s about knowing when it’s ok to feel a certain way. It’ll make you giggle, most likely make you cry, but when you turn that last page, or tap the screen to end the book, you’ll feel like you know Ken and Ron and most definitely will feel empowered.
Ron has a way of writing that seems effortless. It feels real and raw, and regardless of the loss you’ve experienced in your own life, you’ll find a way to sit and ponder, and look at your own life, love and loss.
Loved this so much.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Thank you to Ron Stempkowski for the ARC of The Luck We Carry. Loss of any kind is hard, and the stories in this book do a beautiful job of breaking down what that actually looks like in real life, not in neat stages, but in memories, moments, and quiet realizations.
One line stayed with me the entire time I was reading: “When you lose someone you love, your memories stop being stories from the past and become coordinates for finding yourself again.” That quote alone explains so much of what this book holds. Some parts were stunning, others were genuinely hard to read, as you sit with Ron’s experience of loss and love.
Ever a clever observer, Ron’s wit and humor shows up exactly when you need it. The lighter moments don’t take away from the grief. They make it feel real and livable. The Luck We Carry is a reminder that love, memory, and even laughter can exist alongside loss.
One line stayed with me the entire time I was reading: “When you lose someone you love, your memories stop being stories from the past and become coordinates for finding yourself again.” That quote alone explains so much of what this book holds. Some parts were stunning, others were genuinely hard to read, as you sit with Ron’s experience of loss and love.
Ever a clever observer, Ron’s wit and humor shows up exactly when you need it. The lighter moments don’t take away from the grief. They make it feel real and livable. The Luck We Carry is a reminder that love, memory, and even laughter can exist alongside loss.
Review of advance copy received from Author
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! The Luck We Carry is an absolutely gorgeous, deeply personal, and profoundly hopeful book. Each essay reads with the vividness and emotional clarity of a short film. Stempkowski's storytelling is intimate without ever feeling heavy, reflective, without losing narrative momentum. One of the most beautiful touches is the way the author revisits each piece at the end, reflecting the benefit of time and perspective. Those reflections add a layer of wisdom and tenderness that elevates the entire collection. This is a book about love, loss, memory, and the quiet ways we carry the people who shape us. It lingers. Long after finishing, I found myself still thinking about certain moments, certain lines, and certain feelings. A truly extraordinary collection that I won’t forget anytime soon.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Grief will touch all of us at some point. If we are lucky enough to love deeply, we will one day have to learn how to live with loss.
I met Ron Stempkowski through The Locher Room (my YouTube talk show), and early on he shared the story of his husband, Ken. Ken survived four cancer recurrences as a teenager, only to lose his battle at 45. What Ron has done with that loss is something special.
The Luck We Carry is not a guide to grieving. It’s an honest, beautifully written reflection on love, loss, and the quiet work of continuing on. There are no platitudes, just truth, devotion, and grace.
If you’ve ever loved someone deeply, this book will speak to you. Ron’s words remind us that while loss changes us, love remains. And that may be the greatest lesson of all.
I met Ron Stempkowski through The Locher Room (my YouTube talk show), and early on he shared the story of his husband, Ken. Ken survived four cancer recurrences as a teenager, only to lose his battle at 45. What Ron has done with that loss is something special.
The Luck We Carry is not a guide to grieving. It’s an honest, beautifully written reflection on love, loss, and the quiet work of continuing on. There are no platitudes, just truth, devotion, and grace.
If you’ve ever loved someone deeply, this book will speak to you. Ron’s words remind us that while loss changes us, love remains. And that may be the greatest lesson of all.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Ron Stempkowski’s The Luck We Carry is an intimate and deeply honest account of losing his husband, Ken, to cancer at just 45. Written as a series of personal essays, the book allows both Ron and Ken to come vividly alive on the page. By the end, I felt like I knew them both — and that is the quiet power of Ron’s writing.
He writes about grief not as something that ends, but as something living — something that changes shape over time as we change with it. The prose is beautiful, often unexpectedly funny, and so open that it feels less like reading a memoir and more like sitting across from a friend who trusts you with his story.
Anyone who has lost someone would find comfort and recognition in these pages. I was grateful to be an ARC reader.
He writes about grief not as something that ends, but as something living — something that changes shape over time as we change with it. The prose is beautiful, often unexpectedly funny, and so open that it feels less like reading a memoir and more like sitting across from a friend who trusts you with his story.
Anyone who has lost someone would find comfort and recognition in these pages. I was grateful to be an ARC reader.
Review of advance copy received from Author
The Luck We Carry gave permission to grieve in a new and refreshing way. I know I'm not alone in grieving family & friends that we have lost too soon but Ron allowed me to be a part of his journey which somehow made me feel less isolated.
His way of describing certain memories in bite-size chunks made reading this a delight. I couldn't wait to discover the next insight, throw-back or new way of looking at what may seem like a typical part of life (and getting older), which is dealing with death. And knowing that it doesn't have to feel final but giving permission to feel the feels along the way and how the journey of grieving shapes us moving forward.
His way of describing certain memories in bite-size chunks made reading this a delight. I couldn't wait to discover the next insight, throw-back or new way of looking at what may seem like a typical part of life (and getting older), which is dealing with death. And knowing that it doesn't have to feel final but giving permission to feel the feels along the way and how the journey of grieving shapes us moving forward.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I truly loved this book. The Luck We Carry: Love, Loss, and the Stories that Shape Us was not only an exceptional read, but something I didn't even know I needed until I was knee deep in it. It's such an outstandingly well-written book - pulling you in immediately from the first page, drawing out emotions, offering perspectives. I have been going through a rough patch personally, and the way this book has shifted my perspective on the way things are is truly remarkable. I adore Ron's writing style, from heartfelt to hilarious - I cannot recommend this book enough.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Grief is an intensely individual process, yet it also is universal. Author Ron Stempkowski has a wonderful way of using his personal experiences to bring hope and healing to readers. He is vulnerable, raw, funny and compassionate. The love he has for his husband is the shining/guiding light through his grief. There are at least two people I intend to share this book with in the coming days and would recommend it to anyone who is experiencing or has experienced the loss of their person. Well done, Ron.
Review of advance copy received from Author
If there was ever a book to embody the expression, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” this would be it. Grief is the price we pay for love and if we experience it, we’re fortunate because it means someone mattered to us deeply. Though it can take time to arrive at that understanding, the author brings us along on his journey with honesty and heart. "The Luck We Carry" is a moving and beautifully written tribute that will stay with you.
March 30, 2026
Ron Stempkowski's touching reflections on his love for his partner, developing his own sense of self, and learning to live with grief is a sincere and honest collection of well-crafted essays. I expected to read it over several days but ended up reading the whole thing in practically one sitting!
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