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Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith
Henri Nouwen—beloved author, priest, and internationally recognized spiritual master, counselor, and guide—offers gentle wisdom for universal questions of the spiritual Who am I?
Where have I been and where am I going?
Who is God for me?
Where do I belong?
How can I be of service? As a priest, pastor, and professor of spirituality at Notre Dame, Yale, and Harvard, Nouwen offered spiritual direction to many students, but his famous course on spiritual direction was never recorded during his lifetime. Now, in Spiritual Direction , the first of a series, one of Nouwen's students (Michael Christensen) and one of his editors (Rebecca Laird) have developed his courses and practice of spiritual direction into a book of profound wisdom for living a deep spiritual life.
Where have I been and where am I going?
Who is God for me?
Where do I belong?
How can I be of service? As a priest, pastor, and professor of spirituality at Notre Dame, Yale, and Harvard, Nouwen offered spiritual direction to many students, but his famous course on spiritual direction was never recorded during his lifetime. Now, in Spiritual Direction , the first of a series, one of Nouwen's students (Michael Christensen) and one of his editors (Rebecca Laird) have developed his courses and practice of spiritual direction into a book of profound wisdom for living a deep spiritual life.
192 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2006
574 people are currently reading
3179 people want to read
About the author
Henri J.M. Nouwen
453 books2,152 followersHenri Jozef Machiel Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest, theologian, psychologist, professor, and spiritual writer whose work profoundly shaped contemporary Christian spirituality. Born in Nijkerk, the Netherlands, in 1932, Nouwen pursued religious studies and was ordained a priest in 1957. His intellectual curiosity led him to study psychology at the Catholic University of Nijmegen and later at the Menninger Clinic in Kansas, where he explored the connection between faith and mental health. Throughout his life, Nouwen remained committed to integrating pastoral care, psychology, and spiritual theology in a way that addressed the emotional and existential needs of believers.
Nouwen held teaching positions at prestigious institutions including the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School. He authored over three dozen books and hundreds of articles, with notable works such as The Wounded Healer, The Return of the Prodigal Son, Life of the Beloved, and The Inner Voice of Love. His writing, often rooted in personal vulnerability and spiritual struggle, resonated with readers across denominations. Nouwen openly explored themes of loneliness, identity, intimacy, and the human desire for love and belonging, making his voice especially relatable and influential.
Though he was a gifted academic and popular speaker, Nouwen found his deepest calling later in life through his involvement with L’Arche, a network of communities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. After a transformative stay at the original L’Arche community in France, Nouwen accepted an invitation to become the pastor of L’Arche Daybreak in Richmond Hill, Ontario. There he developed a close bond with Adam Arnett, a core member with severe disabilities, which inspired the book Adam: God’s Beloved. At Daybreak, Nouwen discovered a deep spiritual home and a community that helped him embrace his humanity in profound ways.
Throughout his life, Nouwen wrestled with issues of identity, including his sexuality and his longing for connection, though he remained faithful to his vows. His openness about depression and inner conflict gave depth to his pastoral message, and his ability to turn personal struggle into shared spiritual insight made him one of the most beloved spiritual writers of the 20th century.
Henri Nouwen died in 1996 of a sudden heart attack, but his legacy endures through his writings, the Henri Nouwen Society, and the continued global reach of his message of belovedness, vulnerability, and compassionate community. His books remain bestsellers, widely read in seminaries, churches, and among individuals seeking a more intimate walk with God.
Nouwen held teaching positions at prestigious institutions including the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School. He authored over three dozen books and hundreds of articles, with notable works such as The Wounded Healer, The Return of the Prodigal Son, Life of the Beloved, and The Inner Voice of Love. His writing, often rooted in personal vulnerability and spiritual struggle, resonated with readers across denominations. Nouwen openly explored themes of loneliness, identity, intimacy, and the human desire for love and belonging, making his voice especially relatable and influential.
Though he was a gifted academic and popular speaker, Nouwen found his deepest calling later in life through his involvement with L’Arche, a network of communities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. After a transformative stay at the original L’Arche community in France, Nouwen accepted an invitation to become the pastor of L’Arche Daybreak in Richmond Hill, Ontario. There he developed a close bond with Adam Arnett, a core member with severe disabilities, which inspired the book Adam: God’s Beloved. At Daybreak, Nouwen discovered a deep spiritual home and a community that helped him embrace his humanity in profound ways.
Throughout his life, Nouwen wrestled with issues of identity, including his sexuality and his longing for connection, though he remained faithful to his vows. His openness about depression and inner conflict gave depth to his pastoral message, and his ability to turn personal struggle into shared spiritual insight made him one of the most beloved spiritual writers of the 20th century.
Henri Nouwen died in 1996 of a sudden heart attack, but his legacy endures through his writings, the Henri Nouwen Society, and the continued global reach of his message of belovedness, vulnerability, and compassionate community. His books remain bestsellers, widely read in seminaries, churches, and among individuals seeking a more intimate walk with God.
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April 9, 2010
This is the author's last book, published posthumously and representing an edited compilation of his work in this area. Therefore, one might expect it to differ in form and substance from his previous work; this would be a mistaken assumption. It is a very well-done piece of meaningful insight and practical application rolled into one.
As a discipline, spiritual direction is something that Henri Nouwen both practiced and preached, so to speak, serving in the role of spiritual director for many while he was also led by others himself. I believe that it's this experience of the process from both sides - that of being the leader in the relationship and that of being the follower - that informs this work. In this book, his colleagues set out to collect his work in this domain and to develop it into a coherent guide to the art and practice of spiritual direction. They do so ably.
The format of the book is to focus on an aspect of the discipline of spiritual direction and then to conclude each corresponding chapter with an exercise that is the practical application of what preceded it. In fact, the exercises are so reflective and comprehensive that they could form a separate piece of work. For the person with a serious interest in this process of spiritual self-discovery and -development, these practical applications are both meaningful exercises in themselves as well as helpful tools when working with others (including one's own spiritual director and/or prayer group).
The theory and theology that are contained in the work are also outstanding. For example, Nouwen's treatment of relationships (or being in community as he calls it) and the expectations that we bring to them is particularly insightful. Distinguishing between what is possible for us as humans - our love is always somewhat conditional, he maintains - versus what emanates from the experience of the divine - which is truly unconditional - he then suggests a re-orientation: given that we cannot provide to ourselves or to others truly unconditional love (which is only God's provenance), we must be able to forgive and to celebrate. We must forgive each other for being unable to provide what everything that another wants and needs and yet celebrate what he/she/they can and do provide. In other words, we recognize each other's limits, respect them and work within these boundaries to achieve a synergistic, mutually beneficial relationship. As he puts it, "Community is solitude greeting solitude: 'I am the beloved; you are the beloved; together we can build a home or place of welcome together,'" a place he acknowledges will be happy at times and less so at others. That he acknowledges the reality of fluctuating human emotions makes his theology both more accessible and more practical for daily use.
Similarly, as he points out, the questions in our lives must be lived (though we tend only to want to find the answers and in so doing to conclude our unknowing as quickly as possible and then to move on). "The first task of seeking guidance is to touch your own struggles, doubts, and insecurities - in short, to affirm your life as a quest.... Our lives are not problems to be solved but journeys to be taken with Jesus as our friend and finest guide." This reminder that it's in the experience of divining answers that we live most fully - or, alternatively, that it's the focus on the journey that matters, not the destination per se - is especially prescient in today's performance- and goal-oriented, increasingly secularized culture.
There are some challenges with the book. For example, there are passages that are so "touchy-feely" that if one has even a touch of skeptic in him or her, there will be a tendency to want to discard the attendant insights. Don't; live through the squishiness and the author will guide you back to more (emotionally/spiritually) balanced ground soon enough. Also, some of the author's revelations about himself are a bit overwrought and can distract somewhat from the points that he's trying to make.
This being said, these are mere quibbles about an otherwise strong work. Those who are interested in this discipline and open to the wisdom contained in this book will be deeply moved and effectively developed by the experience. Therefore, this effort represents a fitting coda to the author's incredible body of work. Read it and be moved, skilled, guided and lifted....
As a discipline, spiritual direction is something that Henri Nouwen both practiced and preached, so to speak, serving in the role of spiritual director for many while he was also led by others himself. I believe that it's this experience of the process from both sides - that of being the leader in the relationship and that of being the follower - that informs this work. In this book, his colleagues set out to collect his work in this domain and to develop it into a coherent guide to the art and practice of spiritual direction. They do so ably.
The format of the book is to focus on an aspect of the discipline of spiritual direction and then to conclude each corresponding chapter with an exercise that is the practical application of what preceded it. In fact, the exercises are so reflective and comprehensive that they could form a separate piece of work. For the person with a serious interest in this process of spiritual self-discovery and -development, these practical applications are both meaningful exercises in themselves as well as helpful tools when working with others (including one's own spiritual director and/or prayer group).
The theory and theology that are contained in the work are also outstanding. For example, Nouwen's treatment of relationships (or being in community as he calls it) and the expectations that we bring to them is particularly insightful. Distinguishing between what is possible for us as humans - our love is always somewhat conditional, he maintains - versus what emanates from the experience of the divine - which is truly unconditional - he then suggests a re-orientation: given that we cannot provide to ourselves or to others truly unconditional love (which is only God's provenance), we must be able to forgive and to celebrate. We must forgive each other for being unable to provide what everything that another wants and needs and yet celebrate what he/she/they can and do provide. In other words, we recognize each other's limits, respect them and work within these boundaries to achieve a synergistic, mutually beneficial relationship. As he puts it, "Community is solitude greeting solitude: 'I am the beloved; you are the beloved; together we can build a home or place of welcome together,'" a place he acknowledges will be happy at times and less so at others. That he acknowledges the reality of fluctuating human emotions makes his theology both more accessible and more practical for daily use.
Similarly, as he points out, the questions in our lives must be lived (though we tend only to want to find the answers and in so doing to conclude our unknowing as quickly as possible and then to move on). "The first task of seeking guidance is to touch your own struggles, doubts, and insecurities - in short, to affirm your life as a quest.... Our lives are not problems to be solved but journeys to be taken with Jesus as our friend and finest guide." This reminder that it's in the experience of divining answers that we live most fully - or, alternatively, that it's the focus on the journey that matters, not the destination per se - is especially prescient in today's performance- and goal-oriented, increasingly secularized culture.
There are some challenges with the book. For example, there are passages that are so "touchy-feely" that if one has even a touch of skeptic in him or her, there will be a tendency to want to discard the attendant insights. Don't; live through the squishiness and the author will guide you back to more (emotionally/spiritually) balanced ground soon enough. Also, some of the author's revelations about himself are a bit overwrought and can distract somewhat from the points that he's trying to make.
This being said, these are mere quibbles about an otherwise strong work. Those who are interested in this discipline and open to the wisdom contained in this book will be deeply moved and effectively developed by the experience. Therefore, this effort represents a fitting coda to the author's incredible body of work. Read it and be moved, skilled, guided and lifted....
February 27, 2020
This is a book that should be read slowly. It is really a collection of Henri Nouwen's thoughts on Spiritual direction put together by people who knew and studied with him. It comes with guided prayers and suggested topics for journaling. There is tremendous wisdom here, including insights into the necessary components for spiritual growth and the importance of both solitude and community. It is a short book, but it will take some time to properly digest it.
April 17, 2008
provided much inspiration.
"it helps to realize that the Bible is not primarily a book of information about God but of formation of the heart. it is not merely a book to be analyzed, scrutinized, & discussed, but a book to nurture, unify, & serve as a constant source of contemplation. we must struggle constantly against the temptation to read the Bible instrumentally as a book full of good stories & illustrations that can help us make our point in sermons, lectures, papers, & articles. the Bible does not speak to us as long as we want to use it. as long as we deal with the word of God as an item with which we can do many useful things, we don't really read the Bible or let it read us. only when we are willing to hear the written word as a word for us can the Living Word disclose himself & penetrate into the center of our heart."
"it helps to realize that the Bible is not primarily a book of information about God but of formation of the heart. it is not merely a book to be analyzed, scrutinized, & discussed, but a book to nurture, unify, & serve as a constant source of contemplation. we must struggle constantly against the temptation to read the Bible instrumentally as a book full of good stories & illustrations that can help us make our point in sermons, lectures, papers, & articles. the Bible does not speak to us as long as we want to use it. as long as we deal with the word of God as an item with which we can do many useful things, we don't really read the Bible or let it read us. only when we are willing to hear the written word as a word for us can the Living Word disclose himself & penetrate into the center of our heart."
September 5, 2017
This is the first new Henri Nouwen book that I've read in a few years (after a deep dive into his work in college) and it was so much like returning to an old friend. I just find his words to be so comforting, gentle, and wise; it was exactly the book I needed for a more stressful and anticipatory stretch I was in. I particularly liked his thoughts around solidarity, downward mobility, and compassion here, but the book as a whole was great.
March 19, 2015
I tried to read this semi-slow, but it didn't work out. The best way I suggest to read this as they do at the beginning of the book. Once straight through, and then once taking a chapter a week or month to work through the questions, topics, and ideas. There is a lot here which I can take away from the book, and I will probably go through it slower after I finish the trilogy.
November 27, 2022
This is such a good book, it took me so long to read because I would stop every sentence to ponder
February 5, 2023
The first four chapters, or what the book referred to as Part 1, was really enjoyable. Part 1 was titled “Look Within to the Heart” which I’m assuming resonated with me more because of my tendency to internally process. I felt very known reading these beginning chapters. I didn’t care much for the rest of the book. I am a skeptic post-growing up in the Catholic church, and every once in a while Nouwen said some things that made me pause and scrunch my eyebrows. He also just told a lot of weird stories from his life which just didn’t feel necessary. Anyway, my apologies for hyping it up so much at first. Highly recommend the first four chapters!
November 25, 2025
Recommended by my close brother in Christ, I picked up this worn book from a Value Village for 5 bucks. It's been 4 months. While I didn't grasp everything Nouwen wrote, it gave me a lot of ideas to mull over. Every chapter was stacked! Personally, I've been in a muddy transition in my spiritual journey this year, asking many of the same questions Nouwen asked himself. Questions of identity, purpose, calling, community, and ministry resurfaced again and again. After reading, I realized it was all a natural part of the ebbs and flows on the narrow path. Even if I don't have all the answers, I feel encouraged to keep pushing through the pains and sufferings of life, trusting that is where God meets us.
A last note: I highly respect Nouwen's perseverance and obedience across the decades. His continual introspection and evolution of spiritual perspectives and practices are admirable and enlightening. I thank God for those who have the courage to walk faithfully and live out their vocation, those whose souls are fully invested by God's love that they naturally overflow and heal those around them. It's oftentimes through these humble servants that God speaks to me.
I pray the Spirit can strengthen me to keep pushing especially when I want to give up. I also thank God for my Society boys. Seasons change, but God blesses me again with a community imbued with the Spirit. We're so full of sin and brokenness, but Jesus's love and grace becomes that much sweeter.
A last note: I highly respect Nouwen's perseverance and obedience across the decades. His continual introspection and evolution of spiritual perspectives and practices are admirable and enlightening. I thank God for those who have the courage to walk faithfully and live out their vocation, those whose souls are fully invested by God's love that they naturally overflow and heal those around them. It's oftentimes through these humble servants that God speaks to me.
I pray the Spirit can strengthen me to keep pushing especially when I want to give up. I also thank God for my Society boys. Seasons change, but God blesses me again with a community imbued with the Spirit. We're so full of sin and brokenness, but Jesus's love and grace becomes that much sweeter.
August 29, 2023
Spiritual Direction is a compilation of religious leader Henri Nouwen's unpublished writings about finding one's spiritual bearings. This book is the first I've read of Henri Nouwen. I will look for more.
July 5, 2011
As a young seminarian and pastor, I was profoundly affected by a book written by this psychologist, professor, and priest. As an old geezer, I was inspired by another book by the same author--an individual who practiced what he "priest" in that he left a prestigious position at Harvard and ended up fulfilled by ministering to a handful of mentally challenged individuals--trading influence on millions to influence on less than 10.
I suppose the secret can be found in a story he tells about talking to a trapeze artist whom he had enjoyed. This gracious priest seems to have gone all fan-boy on the trapeze artist and the following is what he learned:
“As a flyer, I must have complete trust in my catcher. The public might think that I am the great star of the trapeze, but the real star is Joe, my catcher. He has to be there for me with split-second precision and grab me out of the air as I come to him in the long jump. The secret is that the flyer does nothing and the catcher does everything.” (pp. 148-9) “The worst thing the flyer can do is to try to catch the catcher. If I grab Joe’s wrists, I might break them, or he might break mine, and that would be the end of both of us.” (p. 148)
There is the authentic Christian life in parable. As a believer, I can do nothing, but my catcher can and has done everything. God as Jesus caught all my sins when I could do nothing about them. God as Spirit catches all my opportunities and potential and allows me to do the kinds of flips and jumps that enable me to experience the exhilaration of Christian life.
Henri Nouwen was never afraid to share out of his weakness in order to challenge some of us to get past our own weaknesses. Late in the book, he confesses to the following experience. He went to a psychiatrist after a friend betrayed him and sent him into deep depression. The psychiatrist said that he had gotten too deeply involved with this friend and that it would take about six months of grieving to get over it. The psychiatrist said he should never see the person again and dismissed his neurosis as being about a 2 on a scale of 10. To which Nouwen responded: “I’m not going to keep seeing you. You have me all figured out, my pain is all so simple to you, and I’m not going to see you anymore.” (pp. 121-2) He went on to say that he knew that forgiveness and reconciliation was the only way that he was going to get past all he was going through.
Early in the book, he told of complaining to Mother Teresa of how incredibly complicated and frustrating his life had become. She was not sympathetic: “Well, when you spend one hour a day adoring your Lord and never do anything which you know is wrong…you will be fine.” – (p. 5)
My favorite section of this book was the section on prayer. Three parts jump out at me. First, “Our inclination is to reveal to God only what we feel comfortable in sharing. …We are often tempted to select carefully the thoughts that we bring into our conversation with God.” (p. 59) This is the “…road of spiritual censorship.” (p. 59)
Second, “To pray unceasingly, as St. Paul asks us to do, would be completely impossible if it meant to think constantly about or speak continuously to God. …It means to think, speak, and live in the presence of God.” (p. 61)
Third, “Prayer is outward, careful attentiveness to the One who invites us to an unceasing conversation.” (p. 62)
My favorite quotation from the whole book would have to be the one on ministry, though. “Ministry is when two people toast their glasses of wine and something splashes over. Ministry is the extra.” (p. 131)
Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith isn't for everyone. It isn't for people who are willing to compartmentalize their faith and live as double-agents between the sacred and secular. This book isn't for people who want to keep God in a box of ideas with which they are comfortable. Finally, this book isn't for people who feel like they are already spiritually mature. This book is for people who are still becoming. And that's why it's for me.
I suppose the secret can be found in a story he tells about talking to a trapeze artist whom he had enjoyed. This gracious priest seems to have gone all fan-boy on the trapeze artist and the following is what he learned:
“As a flyer, I must have complete trust in my catcher. The public might think that I am the great star of the trapeze, but the real star is Joe, my catcher. He has to be there for me with split-second precision and grab me out of the air as I come to him in the long jump. The secret is that the flyer does nothing and the catcher does everything.” (pp. 148-9) “The worst thing the flyer can do is to try to catch the catcher. If I grab Joe’s wrists, I might break them, or he might break mine, and that would be the end of both of us.” (p. 148)
There is the authentic Christian life in parable. As a believer, I can do nothing, but my catcher can and has done everything. God as Jesus caught all my sins when I could do nothing about them. God as Spirit catches all my opportunities and potential and allows me to do the kinds of flips and jumps that enable me to experience the exhilaration of Christian life.
Henri Nouwen was never afraid to share out of his weakness in order to challenge some of us to get past our own weaknesses. Late in the book, he confesses to the following experience. He went to a psychiatrist after a friend betrayed him and sent him into deep depression. The psychiatrist said that he had gotten too deeply involved with this friend and that it would take about six months of grieving to get over it. The psychiatrist said he should never see the person again and dismissed his neurosis as being about a 2 on a scale of 10. To which Nouwen responded: “I’m not going to keep seeing you. You have me all figured out, my pain is all so simple to you, and I’m not going to see you anymore.” (pp. 121-2) He went on to say that he knew that forgiveness and reconciliation was the only way that he was going to get past all he was going through.
Early in the book, he told of complaining to Mother Teresa of how incredibly complicated and frustrating his life had become. She was not sympathetic: “Well, when you spend one hour a day adoring your Lord and never do anything which you know is wrong…you will be fine.” – (p. 5)
My favorite section of this book was the section on prayer. Three parts jump out at me. First, “Our inclination is to reveal to God only what we feel comfortable in sharing. …We are often tempted to select carefully the thoughts that we bring into our conversation with God.” (p. 59) This is the “…road of spiritual censorship.” (p. 59)
Second, “To pray unceasingly, as St. Paul asks us to do, would be completely impossible if it meant to think constantly about or speak continuously to God. …It means to think, speak, and live in the presence of God.” (p. 61)
Third, “Prayer is outward, careful attentiveness to the One who invites us to an unceasing conversation.” (p. 62)
My favorite quotation from the whole book would have to be the one on ministry, though. “Ministry is when two people toast their glasses of wine and something splashes over. Ministry is the extra.” (p. 131)
Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith isn't for everyone. It isn't for people who are willing to compartmentalize their faith and live as double-agents between the sacred and secular. This book isn't for people who want to keep God in a box of ideas with which they are comfortable. Finally, this book isn't for people who feel like they are already spiritually mature. This book is for people who are still becoming. And that's why it's for me.
March 16, 2024
A little different from the other works I’ve read but so thoughtful and very practical and edifying. I’ve been curious about spiritual directors for a while, now even more so.
February 8, 2021
I loved this book. Henri Nouwen is humble, insightful and authentic. Like few other writers, he offers himself to us. His reflection on writing as a spiritual discipline was particularly inspiring.
January 14, 2018
This posthumously written book still captures Nouwen's passion for ministry and spiritual formation. This book is filled with very approachable material and guidelines to implement these disciplines in your everyday life.
December 24, 2025
This is a wonderful book. I took my time and mulled over it in small chunks over the past 10 or so months. Nouwen has so many profound thoughts and I frequently found myself underlining, circling, and copying things out. I will be revisiting this for sure.
August 9, 2024
lots of baller one liners but think it’s definitely meant to be read in a group w others.
I read it alone and still had nice takeaways out of it, but it just didn’t slap like some similar books have…
personally not as much of a fan of “how to” books to reflect and improve your relationship w God as much as I am a fan of personal memoirs / apologetics that talk about personal impact practices have had on one’s own life.
if you love lots of little parables and stories from ancient monks / other figures to help explain practices, could be worth reading. I just think I’d recommend others before reading this one.
I read it alone and still had nice takeaways out of it, but it just didn’t slap like some similar books have…
personally not as much of a fan of “how to” books to reflect and improve your relationship w God as much as I am a fan of personal memoirs / apologetics that talk about personal impact practices have had on one’s own life.
if you love lots of little parables and stories from ancient monks / other figures to help explain practices, could be worth reading. I just think I’d recommend others before reading this one.
January 1, 2021
This collection of Henri Nouwen’s thoughts challenged me to consider my spiritual life with God as the beautiful and sacred thing it is.
Nouwen poked against the edges of my traditionally Protestant theology, and I’m thankful. I was challenged to think a bit differently about how I interact with God, my community, and the broader world.
This lovely little book needs to be soaked in. So much so that I want to revisit it in the future.
Nouwen poked against the edges of my traditionally Protestant theology, and I’m thankful. I was challenged to think a bit differently about how I interact with God, my community, and the broader world.
This lovely little book needs to be soaked in. So much so that I want to revisit it in the future.
July 17, 2017
Such a wonderful read. As was suggested - it is one to read through initially and then go back and take a chapter at a time. So much to ponder. I particularly was both challenged and touched by the chapters on community and service. This really is one that all Christ followers should read at some point in their spiritual journey.
August 21, 2021
Drawn together from Nouwen’s writings by two of his students, this little book is a very user friendly guide on how to seek spiritual direction in the Christian life. I read and absorbed this over several months and will definitely read parts of it again.
May 11, 2022
Nouwen answers 5 questions for each of us including "who am I". this is a great reflection on coming to terms with how we are called to live in Christ. Ultimately, when we live an "I am second" life, we find our lives.
November 17, 2017
I highly recommend this book! Nouwen’s intuition, gentleness, and brilliance converge to encourage and direct. So good!
September 21, 2020
Beautiful collection of Nouwen's spiritual direction principles on topics of identity, prayer, community and ministry
May 12, 2024
A good book for those considering becoming spiritual directors, though not actually written by Nouwen. Gathered together materials presented as from Nouwen posthumously.
January 30, 2023
I've decided to go ahead and share my very detailed notes from my seminary class in which we submitted comments about this book over the course of four weeks, in the hopes that this will encourage someone else along the way :)
1)
I, too, consider Henri Nouwen to be one of my favorite authors. This is my 3rd or 4th reading of this book, as it was one of the texts used in my two years of Spiritual Direction training about a decade ago. Each reading produces more insights and stirrings, something I've experienced with all of Nouwen's works (so far)! What a gift he is to the body of Christ!
One thing I've relearned is the importance of spiritual direction. I met with a wonderful spiritual director (former Jesuit priest) for five years before he re-retired and moved to a different city. I learned so much from 80-something Jim, especially how to listen deeply and well to another, and to always remember Jesus. To be honest, I was reluctant to find another spiritual director immediately because I had such an overwhelmingly positive, life-changing experience. I also didn't have the emotional energy at the time to find someone else, with some of my fellow spiritual direction learning cohort relaying story after story of the difficulties of finding a spiritual director with whom they "clicked." I've met with a director here and there at conferences / retreats (again, very positive experiences for me), but I have not had a regular local spiritual director in the last five years. As a direct result of reading through this week's assigned portion in this slim treasure of a book, I was reminded of the importance and the gift of regular spiritual direction, so I reached out again to the local Catholic retreat center and have lined up an appointment with a new spiritual director. I have missed it so much and look forward to engaging regularly again in this wonderful practice and adventure of deep listening, obedient listening, and "living the questions."
The second thing that touched me deeply on this reading was Henri's telling of God's story of Adam (his friend at L'Arche) "from above." Simply beautiful! Henri wrote that, "Adam . . . was simply present among people as a silent witness to my [God’s] love" and noted that Adam "was a full human being, so fully human that he was chosen by God to become the instrument of his love." This is how I want to see and love others, and to grow more deeply in my awareness of and acting upon God’s preferential option for the poor, by doing what I see the Father doing, as Jesus did, in loving God and others with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
2)
My heart is overflowing with joy and gratitude, having just re-read this week’s portion in Nouwen’s beautiful book. Here are several things that touched my soul, gleaned from my notes:
I loved the Tolstoy parable of Three Monks on an Island, especially treasuring the bishop’s blessing of peace when he realized they understood the Trinity and they walked on water – such sanctity and simplicity, as Nouwen says! This challenges our tendency to think that somehow it’s our job to “bring the Kingdom” or “bring the gospel” (partially true), when a deeper truth is the realization that God is already working, doing a good, beautiful, and holy work in the life of every person (and every part of creation), though we may not yet be aware of it.
On this reading of Spiritual Direction, I am noticing more and more phrases and observations that must surely have been gleaned by Nouwen from early Christian (1st millennium) and more recent (2nd millennium) Orthodox authors. I’ve been on a journey of reading of the saints for many years now, feeling like I’m just beginning to grasp a slight understanding of what it means to “let our mind descend into our heart and there stand in the presence of God.”
I was struck anew with Nouwen’s assertion that the main question regarding praying continually is “not so much what we think, but to whom we present our thoughts.” As I pondered this today, it reminded me that at the close of our church’s worship service yesterday, a friend of mine shared in despair that she felt like running away, primarily because her negative emotions were threatening to overwhelm her. I assured her that if and when she does run away, God will be right there, seemingly running alongside her, and possibly even asking – where are we running to? This image actually broke the heaviness of the situation and we laughed together before further listening, embracing, weeping, praying together. I believe that the bringing of her struggle out into the open and confessing her temptation to flee, brought it into the light of God’s presence, healing, and freedom. There is no time or place where God is not. The main thing is – are we willing to share our whole selves with him? Another Nouwen observation relating to this – “As soon as an embarrassing or exhilarating idea is taken out of its isolation and brought into a relationship, with God or with another person, something new happens.”
It encouraged my heart so much to read words from this beautiful brother (Henri) about the everlasting love of God who is both our Father and Mother. I am aware that this kind of imagery makes many of my contemporaries very uncomfortable, but they are words of life and healing. Having grown up in the Church, I am still learning how to talk about God in ways using the gender-inclusive language that Scripture itself affirms from cover to cover.
What joy to read these confident words that speak directly to the excesses practiced (often erroneously) by well-meaning believers who tend to be almost directive of God in how they speak: “There is a great temptation to suggest to myself or others where God is working and where not, when God is present and when not, but nobody . . . has any ‘special’ knowledge about God. The fullness of God cannot be limited by any human concept or prediction. God is greater than our mind and heart and perfectly free to be revealed where and when God wants.” This crops up not infrequently in many of the groups in which I serve as leader, and it’s a delicate balance between offering private correction and verbalizing gentle public clarification without the use of shame, harshness, or avoidance.
I really enjoy pondering the mystery of God, the cloud of unknowing, and being equipped with far better questions than the usual ones we ask (or are asked): “The question is not, ‘How am I to find God?’ but ‘How am I to let myself be found by God?’ The question is not, ‘How am I to know God?’ but ‘How am I to let myself be known by God?’ The question is not, ‘How am I to love God?’ but ‘How am I to let myself be loved by God?’ And finally, the question is not, ‘Who is God for me?’ but ‘Who am I to God?’” Such beautiful, simple, authentic, and vulnerable questions to offer in safe spaces in order to invite myself and others into more intimacy with God.
And finally, I must say that one of the topics that seems to come up very frequently in group discussions is “the word” – Jesus? Scripture? Prophecy? Writing the word? (yes to all four!) I am grateful for the new aha’s gained through re-reading this section, learning to “encounter God in the word through the disciplines of obedient listening, sacred reading, humble speaking, and spiritual writing.” I will most likely refer to some of this material in preparing this Sunday’s sermon – this is not why I read it, but as I read it, it occurred to me that the Lord may bring encouragement to others through the wisdom of Nouwen. I am eager to share some of these freshly mined treasures with others!
3)
Again, such a beautiful journey with Henri Nouwen in these chapters of his book.
What stood out most to me were his insights on:
• Community
“In living together we come to realize that community doesn’t require or offer total emotional harmony. It offers us the context where we try to love one another and receive the love and care of others.” This sheds light on why it feels so different to be in a home together where one or more persons are guests, as contrasted to living together in a home where each one there is a resident. Church community is like that, too – it’s tempting enough to treat one another as “Sunday friends,” all sunshine and roses, which results in very thin (if any) community, and we won’t grow very much. But if we decide to move past niceties to truly loving and caring for one another (e.g. being in each other’s homes, visiting the sick, letting our masks down, doing ministry together, etc.) then we get a chance to love and be loved, care and be cared for. It helps me to have intentional practices of “a theology of failure” so that there is freedom to try new things where the goal isn’t success but sharing our God-given gifts and graces with one another.
• Celebration
This encourages me to call forth the beauty and gifts in others as ones who reflect God. I really appreciate Nouwen’s invitation to ponder the mystery of God’s love which impacts the way we see ourselves and others and to be able to truly love without conditions.
• Wounded healers
“Those who cannot hide their handicaps do not allow the assistants to hide theirs either.” I am on a learning curve in this exact area as our new senior pastor (since mid-2022) is blind; he has brought a new level of vulnerability to our church community that is helping to heal wounds. It’s been pretty transformative for several people, especially those who have felt “less than” based on their outward appearances. I’m so thankful for Nouwen’s “wounded healer” message that has significantly impacted our small denomination (Vineyard) for many years.
• Home
“Finding your way home is learning how all love is connected, expressed, and lived out in community.” So well said. We all need to remember and be reminded to seek to know and be known, love and be loved, by God and in community with one another. I wonder how many around me have expectations of what home “should” be (whether our family home or church home), influenced by TV / movies / books that paint idealistic or one-sided images of these things while avoiding hard stuff like how to deal with conflict or how to practice forgiveness, etc. Another kind of challenge that comes to mind is the lack of any expectations of home, leading to a kind of apathy (“why bother?”). We really need God’s Spirit to stir our imaginations as we seek to share God’s love with this generation.
• Forgiveness
Nouwen’s definition of forgiveness is at the same time encouraging and challenging, as we are all given so many opportunities to practice forgiveness whenever we get the guts to get involved with others up close and personal. It’s such a relief when we can get to this point with others, though, that we can resign from being Messiahs and let them off the hook, too, such that no one is being put on a pedestal or expected to be able to fill someone else up.
• Faithfulness
I cannot tell you how much I love this descriptor of how Nouwen “did” ministry – “Ministry happens. You and I do very little . . . I just start to pray and offer Eucharist and see who comes.” Yes! Having served on a church staff for 20 years and spent countless hours coming up with vision / mission statements in order to “grow the church” (all well-intended), along with reading inspiring missionary biographies where little or no “fruit” was visible until years after their work on earth ended, along with being deeply moved when wandering through centuries-old Christian cathedrals and temples with the realization that God has been worshiped on that spot for hundreds and hundreds of years by many generations, I've slowly come to really believe that God seriously does value faithfulness more than what we might define as success today. God takes the long view; we humans tend to be quite short-sighted. We are here to adore Christ. And serve those on the margins. Pray hard, work hard, leave the results to God. This encouraged me this week as our pastoral team is in the middle of seeking God’s heart for us in this season, a creative and strategic plan on how to follow Jesus in our community while being lead by the Spirit and invitational to those among us who want to roll up sleeves and get involved.
“Ministry is the overflow of your love for God and others. Ministry is when two people toast their glasses of wine and something splashes over.” Yes, yes, and yes – I so love this imagery!
• Authenticity
“Even though following Jesus might well become a more hidden journey, it should not ever become a private journey . . . communicate as honestly as possible the pains and the joys, the darkness and the light, the fatigue and the vitality, the despair and the hope of going with Jesus to places where I would rather not go.” While reading Nouwen’s book today, I got side-tracked into reading again about some of the highs and lows of the ministry with which he was involved, and it reminded me how absolutely vital it is to help each other to live in the light, for all kinds of reasons. In our church community, we seek intentionally to live openly among one another, especially through the simple practice of asking open-ended questions at the start of pretty much every group I’m a part of, in the manner of the spiritual examen with the emphasis on consolation and desolation. It’s an invitation to be real with one another, acknowledging that we can weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice, even on the same day. I think many of us prefer one over the other, so it’s helpful to have someone else ask us questions that get us to look for both of these things on a regular basis so we don’t hide behind the one we prefer. I wonder how often God calls to us, “Where are you?” (like with Adam in the Garden) – it’s not like God doesn’t know, but he wants us to know, as he invites us to move towards authenticity, our true selves, as we walk with him and each other in the world.
4)
This week’s very short conclusion in Henri Nouwen’s Spiritual Direction reminded me again of the importance of surrender and submission to my Catcher, God the Father, Christ, Holy Spirit. The secret that the flyer does nothing and the catcher does everything resonates with me – at times in my spiritual journey where God has asked me to take a huge risk (e.g. move my family to Russia; adopt children; launch into formal ministry), I have sat with the image of diving off of a high diving board through a cloud into an unseen yet-to-be-filled pool far below, and it has brought me great comfort knowing that God is always faithful, always loving, always present, always generous. The flyer / catcher image is so much more embodied and intimate, and I am thankful for this beautiful parable. It’s a great reminder to really believe that the worst thing the flyer can do is try to catch the catcher. Lord, help me to surrender moment by moment, breath by breath . . . I want to trust you more!
I am so fascinated about Henri’s thoughts on the discipline of the body, adding to the three main disciplines of the spiritual life he described – the Heart, the Book, and the Church. For consistency, I would want it to be written as “the Body” but I can see how that could cause some confusion, as readers might think that referred to “the Body of Christ” and not our actual flesh-and-bones. I’ve had enough body-related experiences over the years that have awakened me to the realization that my view of “the body” and even “my body” are in need of an expanded, sanctified vision. Undoubtedly I have been influenced greatly by the multiple primary cultures in which I was raised, including nations, circles of communities, the Church, and my family. This is the exact area in which I hope to learn the most during my time in seminary (though I have no doubt that God, being perfect in wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, will surprise me by teaching me all kinds of things in every area of life and study). But I long to grow in love and understanding about the spirituality of the body, the enfleshed life, and how to be a conduit of love, grace, and truth among people whom the Church in the time and place in which God has put me has excluded or not welcomed.
I do have some of those same questions that Henri shares. I’m chewing on this one the most today: “What is my responsibility to the world around me, and what is my responsibility to myself?” For most of my life I’ve focused on the first part of that question. I’m hearing an invitation from God to ask the second part more often of myself, and to encourage others around me to engage with this balanced pair of questions as they seek to follow Jesus by loving God and people. I’m also pondering what it would look like to, as Nouwen put it, “bring my body home.” I’d love to hear others’ thoughts on this!
I shared early in this course that I was moved to seek another spiritual director. I prayerfully did just that, and in a very short time, God provided someone. I had my first appointment a couple of weeks ago, and one immediate and very personal confirmation was that in his opening introduction of who he was, he shared his wife’s given and middle names – the same exact combination as my beloved mother who passed away 32 years ago and one that I had not encountered in another. All that to say, I wholeheartedly agree with Henri’s closing paragraph in Appendix Two: “Trust that God will lead you. After all, it is God’s Spirit that does the guiding and real directing; the director is simply there to be God’s friend and yours in the process.”
May we each live the questions deeply, knowing that you and I are God’s beloved!
1)
I, too, consider Henri Nouwen to be one of my favorite authors. This is my 3rd or 4th reading of this book, as it was one of the texts used in my two years of Spiritual Direction training about a decade ago. Each reading produces more insights and stirrings, something I've experienced with all of Nouwen's works (so far)! What a gift he is to the body of Christ!
One thing I've relearned is the importance of spiritual direction. I met with a wonderful spiritual director (former Jesuit priest) for five years before he re-retired and moved to a different city. I learned so much from 80-something Jim, especially how to listen deeply and well to another, and to always remember Jesus. To be honest, I was reluctant to find another spiritual director immediately because I had such an overwhelmingly positive, life-changing experience. I also didn't have the emotional energy at the time to find someone else, with some of my fellow spiritual direction learning cohort relaying story after story of the difficulties of finding a spiritual director with whom they "clicked." I've met with a director here and there at conferences / retreats (again, very positive experiences for me), but I have not had a regular local spiritual director in the last five years. As a direct result of reading through this week's assigned portion in this slim treasure of a book, I was reminded of the importance and the gift of regular spiritual direction, so I reached out again to the local Catholic retreat center and have lined up an appointment with a new spiritual director. I have missed it so much and look forward to engaging regularly again in this wonderful practice and adventure of deep listening, obedient listening, and "living the questions."
The second thing that touched me deeply on this reading was Henri's telling of God's story of Adam (his friend at L'Arche) "from above." Simply beautiful! Henri wrote that, "Adam . . . was simply present among people as a silent witness to my [God’s] love" and noted that Adam "was a full human being, so fully human that he was chosen by God to become the instrument of his love." This is how I want to see and love others, and to grow more deeply in my awareness of and acting upon God’s preferential option for the poor, by doing what I see the Father doing, as Jesus did, in loving God and others with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
2)
My heart is overflowing with joy and gratitude, having just re-read this week’s portion in Nouwen’s beautiful book. Here are several things that touched my soul, gleaned from my notes:
I loved the Tolstoy parable of Three Monks on an Island, especially treasuring the bishop’s blessing of peace when he realized they understood the Trinity and they walked on water – such sanctity and simplicity, as Nouwen says! This challenges our tendency to think that somehow it’s our job to “bring the Kingdom” or “bring the gospel” (partially true), when a deeper truth is the realization that God is already working, doing a good, beautiful, and holy work in the life of every person (and every part of creation), though we may not yet be aware of it.
On this reading of Spiritual Direction, I am noticing more and more phrases and observations that must surely have been gleaned by Nouwen from early Christian (1st millennium) and more recent (2nd millennium) Orthodox authors. I’ve been on a journey of reading of the saints for many years now, feeling like I’m just beginning to grasp a slight understanding of what it means to “let our mind descend into our heart and there stand in the presence of God.”
I was struck anew with Nouwen’s assertion that the main question regarding praying continually is “not so much what we think, but to whom we present our thoughts.” As I pondered this today, it reminded me that at the close of our church’s worship service yesterday, a friend of mine shared in despair that she felt like running away, primarily because her negative emotions were threatening to overwhelm her. I assured her that if and when she does run away, God will be right there, seemingly running alongside her, and possibly even asking – where are we running to? This image actually broke the heaviness of the situation and we laughed together before further listening, embracing, weeping, praying together. I believe that the bringing of her struggle out into the open and confessing her temptation to flee, brought it into the light of God’s presence, healing, and freedom. There is no time or place where God is not. The main thing is – are we willing to share our whole selves with him? Another Nouwen observation relating to this – “As soon as an embarrassing or exhilarating idea is taken out of its isolation and brought into a relationship, with God or with another person, something new happens.”
It encouraged my heart so much to read words from this beautiful brother (Henri) about the everlasting love of God who is both our Father and Mother. I am aware that this kind of imagery makes many of my contemporaries very uncomfortable, but they are words of life and healing. Having grown up in the Church, I am still learning how to talk about God in ways using the gender-inclusive language that Scripture itself affirms from cover to cover.
What joy to read these confident words that speak directly to the excesses practiced (often erroneously) by well-meaning believers who tend to be almost directive of God in how they speak: “There is a great temptation to suggest to myself or others where God is working and where not, when God is present and when not, but nobody . . . has any ‘special’ knowledge about God. The fullness of God cannot be limited by any human concept or prediction. God is greater than our mind and heart and perfectly free to be revealed where and when God wants.” This crops up not infrequently in many of the groups in which I serve as leader, and it’s a delicate balance between offering private correction and verbalizing gentle public clarification without the use of shame, harshness, or avoidance.
I really enjoy pondering the mystery of God, the cloud of unknowing, and being equipped with far better questions than the usual ones we ask (or are asked): “The question is not, ‘How am I to find God?’ but ‘How am I to let myself be found by God?’ The question is not, ‘How am I to know God?’ but ‘How am I to let myself be known by God?’ The question is not, ‘How am I to love God?’ but ‘How am I to let myself be loved by God?’ And finally, the question is not, ‘Who is God for me?’ but ‘Who am I to God?’” Such beautiful, simple, authentic, and vulnerable questions to offer in safe spaces in order to invite myself and others into more intimacy with God.
And finally, I must say that one of the topics that seems to come up very frequently in group discussions is “the word” – Jesus? Scripture? Prophecy? Writing the word? (yes to all four!) I am grateful for the new aha’s gained through re-reading this section, learning to “encounter God in the word through the disciplines of obedient listening, sacred reading, humble speaking, and spiritual writing.” I will most likely refer to some of this material in preparing this Sunday’s sermon – this is not why I read it, but as I read it, it occurred to me that the Lord may bring encouragement to others through the wisdom of Nouwen. I am eager to share some of these freshly mined treasures with others!
3)
Again, such a beautiful journey with Henri Nouwen in these chapters of his book.
What stood out most to me were his insights on:
• Community
“In living together we come to realize that community doesn’t require or offer total emotional harmony. It offers us the context where we try to love one another and receive the love and care of others.” This sheds light on why it feels so different to be in a home together where one or more persons are guests, as contrasted to living together in a home where each one there is a resident. Church community is like that, too – it’s tempting enough to treat one another as “Sunday friends,” all sunshine and roses, which results in very thin (if any) community, and we won’t grow very much. But if we decide to move past niceties to truly loving and caring for one another (e.g. being in each other’s homes, visiting the sick, letting our masks down, doing ministry together, etc.) then we get a chance to love and be loved, care and be cared for. It helps me to have intentional practices of “a theology of failure” so that there is freedom to try new things where the goal isn’t success but sharing our God-given gifts and graces with one another.
• Celebration
This encourages me to call forth the beauty and gifts in others as ones who reflect God. I really appreciate Nouwen’s invitation to ponder the mystery of God’s love which impacts the way we see ourselves and others and to be able to truly love without conditions.
• Wounded healers
“Those who cannot hide their handicaps do not allow the assistants to hide theirs either.” I am on a learning curve in this exact area as our new senior pastor (since mid-2022) is blind; he has brought a new level of vulnerability to our church community that is helping to heal wounds. It’s been pretty transformative for several people, especially those who have felt “less than” based on their outward appearances. I’m so thankful for Nouwen’s “wounded healer” message that has significantly impacted our small denomination (Vineyard) for many years.
• Home
“Finding your way home is learning how all love is connected, expressed, and lived out in community.” So well said. We all need to remember and be reminded to seek to know and be known, love and be loved, by God and in community with one another. I wonder how many around me have expectations of what home “should” be (whether our family home or church home), influenced by TV / movies / books that paint idealistic or one-sided images of these things while avoiding hard stuff like how to deal with conflict or how to practice forgiveness, etc. Another kind of challenge that comes to mind is the lack of any expectations of home, leading to a kind of apathy (“why bother?”). We really need God’s Spirit to stir our imaginations as we seek to share God’s love with this generation.
• Forgiveness
Nouwen’s definition of forgiveness is at the same time encouraging and challenging, as we are all given so many opportunities to practice forgiveness whenever we get the guts to get involved with others up close and personal. It’s such a relief when we can get to this point with others, though, that we can resign from being Messiahs and let them off the hook, too, such that no one is being put on a pedestal or expected to be able to fill someone else up.
• Faithfulness
I cannot tell you how much I love this descriptor of how Nouwen “did” ministry – “Ministry happens. You and I do very little . . . I just start to pray and offer Eucharist and see who comes.” Yes! Having served on a church staff for 20 years and spent countless hours coming up with vision / mission statements in order to “grow the church” (all well-intended), along with reading inspiring missionary biographies where little or no “fruit” was visible until years after their work on earth ended, along with being deeply moved when wandering through centuries-old Christian cathedrals and temples with the realization that God has been worshiped on that spot for hundreds and hundreds of years by many generations, I've slowly come to really believe that God seriously does value faithfulness more than what we might define as success today. God takes the long view; we humans tend to be quite short-sighted. We are here to adore Christ. And serve those on the margins. Pray hard, work hard, leave the results to God. This encouraged me this week as our pastoral team is in the middle of seeking God’s heart for us in this season, a creative and strategic plan on how to follow Jesus in our community while being lead by the Spirit and invitational to those among us who want to roll up sleeves and get involved.
“Ministry is the overflow of your love for God and others. Ministry is when two people toast their glasses of wine and something splashes over.” Yes, yes, and yes – I so love this imagery!
• Authenticity
“Even though following Jesus might well become a more hidden journey, it should not ever become a private journey . . . communicate as honestly as possible the pains and the joys, the darkness and the light, the fatigue and the vitality, the despair and the hope of going with Jesus to places where I would rather not go.” While reading Nouwen’s book today, I got side-tracked into reading again about some of the highs and lows of the ministry with which he was involved, and it reminded me how absolutely vital it is to help each other to live in the light, for all kinds of reasons. In our church community, we seek intentionally to live openly among one another, especially through the simple practice of asking open-ended questions at the start of pretty much every group I’m a part of, in the manner of the spiritual examen with the emphasis on consolation and desolation. It’s an invitation to be real with one another, acknowledging that we can weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice, even on the same day. I think many of us prefer one over the other, so it’s helpful to have someone else ask us questions that get us to look for both of these things on a regular basis so we don’t hide behind the one we prefer. I wonder how often God calls to us, “Where are you?” (like with Adam in the Garden) – it’s not like God doesn’t know, but he wants us to know, as he invites us to move towards authenticity, our true selves, as we walk with him and each other in the world.
4)
This week’s very short conclusion in Henri Nouwen’s Spiritual Direction reminded me again of the importance of surrender and submission to my Catcher, God the Father, Christ, Holy Spirit. The secret that the flyer does nothing and the catcher does everything resonates with me – at times in my spiritual journey where God has asked me to take a huge risk (e.g. move my family to Russia; adopt children; launch into formal ministry), I have sat with the image of diving off of a high diving board through a cloud into an unseen yet-to-be-filled pool far below, and it has brought me great comfort knowing that God is always faithful, always loving, always present, always generous. The flyer / catcher image is so much more embodied and intimate, and I am thankful for this beautiful parable. It’s a great reminder to really believe that the worst thing the flyer can do is try to catch the catcher. Lord, help me to surrender moment by moment, breath by breath . . . I want to trust you more!
I am so fascinated about Henri’s thoughts on the discipline of the body, adding to the three main disciplines of the spiritual life he described – the Heart, the Book, and the Church. For consistency, I would want it to be written as “the Body” but I can see how that could cause some confusion, as readers might think that referred to “the Body of Christ” and not our actual flesh-and-bones. I’ve had enough body-related experiences over the years that have awakened me to the realization that my view of “the body” and even “my body” are in need of an expanded, sanctified vision. Undoubtedly I have been influenced greatly by the multiple primary cultures in which I was raised, including nations, circles of communities, the Church, and my family. This is the exact area in which I hope to learn the most during my time in seminary (though I have no doubt that God, being perfect in wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, will surprise me by teaching me all kinds of things in every area of life and study). But I long to grow in love and understanding about the spirituality of the body, the enfleshed life, and how to be a conduit of love, grace, and truth among people whom the Church in the time and place in which God has put me has excluded or not welcomed.
I do have some of those same questions that Henri shares. I’m chewing on this one the most today: “What is my responsibility to the world around me, and what is my responsibility to myself?” For most of my life I’ve focused on the first part of that question. I’m hearing an invitation from God to ask the second part more often of myself, and to encourage others around me to engage with this balanced pair of questions as they seek to follow Jesus by loving God and people. I’m also pondering what it would look like to, as Nouwen put it, “bring my body home.” I’d love to hear others’ thoughts on this!
I shared early in this course that I was moved to seek another spiritual director. I prayerfully did just that, and in a very short time, God provided someone. I had my first appointment a couple of weeks ago, and one immediate and very personal confirmation was that in his opening introduction of who he was, he shared his wife’s given and middle names – the same exact combination as my beloved mother who passed away 32 years ago and one that I had not encountered in another. All that to say, I wholeheartedly agree with Henri’s closing paragraph in Appendix Two: “Trust that God will lead you. After all, it is God’s Spirit that does the guiding and real directing; the director is simply there to be God’s friend and yours in the process.”
May we each live the questions deeply, knowing that you and I are God’s beloved!
November 2, 2020
As with many other Nouwen books, you get some beautiful, vulnerable insights alongside some questionable theology. I think the title is a little misleading- this book isn’t particularly relevant for the field of spiritual direction.
August 5, 2025
“Technisch gesproken heeft Henri Nouwen dit boek geschreven,” aldus de verantwoording (p. 7). Spiritueel Begeleiden: Gids voor de lange weg van het geloof (2008) werd namelijk postuum samengesteld door Michael J. Christensen en Rebecca J. Laird, oud-studenten van Nouwen. Op basis van zijn colleges aan Yale Divinity School en aangevuld met ongepubliceerd materiaal, is dit boek bedoeld als een representatie van “Henri op zijn best” (p. 12). Wat heeft hij ons, ook na zijn dood, nog te zeggen over geestelijke begeleiding?
Nouwen definieert geestelijke begeleiding als “een relatie geïnitieerd door een spiritueel zoekende die een gerijpte gelovige wil vinden die bereid is met hem te bidden en met wijsheid en begrip te antwoorden op zijn of haar vraag, hoe een spiritueel leven te leiden in een wereld van dubbelzinnigheid en afleiding” (p. 9). Het doel van begeleiding is spirituele vorming, die volgens Nouwen alleen mogelijk is door middel van drie essentiële disciplines: (1) de discipline van het hart; (2) de discipline van het Boek; en (3) de discipline van de gemeenschap (p. 15). Deze worden in de drie delen van het boek nader uitgewerkt.
Het eerste deel gaat over de discipline van het hart. De zoeker moet met een vraag komen – geen vraag betekent immers dat een antwoord snel manipulatief kan worden (p. 26). De begeleiding draait ook niet om pasklare antwoorden, maar om het doorleven van vragen. Nouwen stelt: “Geestelijke begeleiding ontvangen is ontdekken dat God onze problemen niet oplost of antwoord geeft op al onze vragen, maar het brengt ons dichter bij het mysterie van ons bestaan” (p. 30-31).
Belangrijk in deze discipline is gebed, dat Nouwen omschrijft als een overgang van een doof leven, een absurd leven (afgeleid van surdus, ‘doof’) naar een gehoorzaam leven: een leven dat luistert. Gebed is “luisteren naar de stem die jou de Beminde noemt” (p. 49). Dat is voor Nouwen cruciaal: geloven dat je bemind bent, en niet gedefinieerd wordt door wat je doet, bezit of hoe anderen over je oordelen. Zelfverwerping noemt hij zelfs “de grootste vijand van het geestelijk leven” (p. 46), en de drang naar vervulling buiten jezelf – in mensen of dingen – leidt tot obsessie. Naast definities en adviezen worden dus ook waarschuwingen meegegeven. Hij besluit dit deel met een persoonlijke reflectie op zijn eigen levensweg, van zijn wortels tot zijn bestemming.
De discipline van het Boek (deel 2) richt zich op de ontmoeting met God via het Woord. Gebed en Schriftlezing staan hierbij centraal. Nouwen onderscheidt drie fasen in het onophoudelijk gebed (vgl. 1 Thess. 5:16): (1) het roepen tot God; (2) de conversatie met God; en (3) meditatie- en contemplatieoefeningen (p. 68). Hij beschrijft de beweging van een ego-centrische monoloog naar een theo-centrische dialoog (p. 71), en geeft concrete adviezen: bid op een vaste plek, op een vast moment, en met één concentratiepunt (p. 74).
Vervolgens stelt hij de essentiële vraag: Tot wie richt ik mijn gebed? Wie is God voor mij? Hij beschrijft God als (1) met ons; (2) als persoon; (3) als verborgen; en (4) als uitziende naar ons. De discipline richt zich op het luisteren naar het Woord. Nouwen laat zich daarbij inspireren door de woestijnvaders, voor wie het Woord vier dimensies had: (1) het Levende Woord (Jezus); (2) het geschreven Woord (Heilige Schrift); (3) het gesproken Woord (rhema), begrepen als profetisch woord uit de stilte; en (4) het door ons geschreven Woord. Dit vierde, door Nouwen toegevoegde aspect – het meditatief schrijven – speelde ook een belangrijke rol in zijn eigen leven. Schrijven helpt om orde te scheppen in de innerlijke veelheid en verborgen heelheid te ontdekken.
De lectio divina krijgt eveneens ruime aandacht. Deze wijze van biddend lezen is “een manier van lezen waarbij we het woord toestaan óns te lezen en te interpreteren” (p. 99). Door lectio divina is er een “voortgaande incarnatie van God in onze wereld” (p. 99) waarbij de lezer tot een “levende Christus voor vandaag” wordt (p. 101). Nouwen nodigt zoekers uit om zich te oefenen in deze vorm van lezen én schrijven, als discipline om het Woord daadwerkelijk vlees te laten worden in het eigen leven.
In het derde deel gaat het over de discipline van de gemeenschap. Nouwen leest Lucas 6,12-19 als een ritme: bidden in de nacht, gemeenschap in de morgen en dienstwerk in de middag. Hij onderscheidt drie bewegingen: (1) alleen-zijn met God in gebed; (2) het herkennen van en samenkomen met de ander in de gemeenschap; en (3) het dienstwerk of mededogen met de wereld (p. 116).
De gemeenschap begrijpt hij als “alleen-zijn dat alleen-zijn begroet.” Geestelijke groei is nooit puur individueel; het leidt altijd naar gemeenschap. Vergeving noemt hij “het cement van het gemeenschapsleven” (p. 126), waarmee ook het vermogen ontstaat om te vieren. We moeten leren vergeven dat anderen niet God zijn, zodat we hen als reflectie van Gods liefde kunnen zien, in plaats van hen tot idool te maken (p. 129).
In zijn hoofdstuk over dienstbaarheid citeert Nouwen een Talmoedisch verhaal waarin de Messias gevonden wordt onder de gewonde armen. Dit leidt tot zijn bekende beeld van de “gewonde genezer” (wounded healer) (p. 133). Dienstbaarheid is voor hem geen eenrichtingsverkeer, maar een overstromen van liefde die voortkomt uit wederzijdse kwetsbaarheid. Mededogen en dankbaarheid staan hierbij centraal, mogelijk gemaakt door “neerwaartse mobiliteit” en “vrijwillige verplaatsing” – twee disciplines die ware gemeenschap mogelijk maken.
Het boek sluit af met de woorden van Nouwen: “De Geest van God nodigt ons uit om naar binnen te kijken in het hart, naar God te kijken in het boek en te kijken naar anderen in de gemeenschap, opdat we de vragen zullen kunnen doorleven op de lange reis van het geloof” (p. 150). In de epiloog voegen de samenstellers nog een vierde discipline toe: die van het lichaam (p. 151). Voor de latere Nouwen werd de lichamelijke dimensie van spiritualiteit steeds belangrijker. Zijn fascinatie voor de Flying Rodleighs illustreert dit: belichaamde spiritualiteit als uitdrukking van de incarnatie: ook in het lichaam wordt het goddelijk leven aangeraakt.
Spiritueel Begeleiden is een inspirerend en mooi opgebouwd boek dat de lezer uitnodigt tot spirituele verdieping. Hoewel het ‘begeleiden’ in de titel doet vermoeden dat het primair over het proces van de begeleiding gaat, ligt de nadruk meer op de innerlijke weg van de gelovige. De visie op begeleiding wordt wel geschetst, maar altijd binnen de bredere context van de lange weg van het geloof.
Het boek is toegankelijk en tegelijk rijk aan inhoud, geschikt voor zowel begeleiders als zoekers. De drie (of vier) disciplines bieden een helder kader, waarbij Nouwen de lezer tegelijk meditatief als systematisch meeneemt: van persoonlijke vragen naar de Schrift, van alleen-zijn naar gemeenschap en dienstbaarheid. De aandacht voor incarnatie is opvallend: niet alleen in de vorm van Christus als Woord dat vlees wordt, maar ook in hoe het Woord in ons gestalte krijgt, bijvoorbeeld via de lectio divina of via het lichaam.
De stijl is warm, persoonlijk en meditatief. Elk hoofdstuk bevat reflectievragen en suggesties voor oefeningen, wat het boek zeer geschikt maakt voor persoonlijke bezinning of begeleidingstrajecten. Een kanttekening is dat het boek geen uitputtende pastorale of theologische positionering biedt; het spreekt duidelijk vanuit Nouwens persoonlijke spiritualiteit. Door het particuliere karakter van dit boek maak je als lezer kennis met Nouwen, maar blijft het ook (grotendeels) tot zijn visie en stijl beperkt. Tegelijkertijd is dat precies de kracht van dit boek: Henri Nouwen treedt op als spirituele gids, niet als systematisch theoloog. Wie dit boek leest, kan het ervaren alsof Nouwen onze gids is.
Nouwen definieert geestelijke begeleiding als “een relatie geïnitieerd door een spiritueel zoekende die een gerijpte gelovige wil vinden die bereid is met hem te bidden en met wijsheid en begrip te antwoorden op zijn of haar vraag, hoe een spiritueel leven te leiden in een wereld van dubbelzinnigheid en afleiding” (p. 9). Het doel van begeleiding is spirituele vorming, die volgens Nouwen alleen mogelijk is door middel van drie essentiële disciplines: (1) de discipline van het hart; (2) de discipline van het Boek; en (3) de discipline van de gemeenschap (p. 15). Deze worden in de drie delen van het boek nader uitgewerkt.
Het eerste deel gaat over de discipline van het hart. De zoeker moet met een vraag komen – geen vraag betekent immers dat een antwoord snel manipulatief kan worden (p. 26). De begeleiding draait ook niet om pasklare antwoorden, maar om het doorleven van vragen. Nouwen stelt: “Geestelijke begeleiding ontvangen is ontdekken dat God onze problemen niet oplost of antwoord geeft op al onze vragen, maar het brengt ons dichter bij het mysterie van ons bestaan” (p. 30-31).
Belangrijk in deze discipline is gebed, dat Nouwen omschrijft als een overgang van een doof leven, een absurd leven (afgeleid van surdus, ‘doof’) naar een gehoorzaam leven: een leven dat luistert. Gebed is “luisteren naar de stem die jou de Beminde noemt” (p. 49). Dat is voor Nouwen cruciaal: geloven dat je bemind bent, en niet gedefinieerd wordt door wat je doet, bezit of hoe anderen over je oordelen. Zelfverwerping noemt hij zelfs “de grootste vijand van het geestelijk leven” (p. 46), en de drang naar vervulling buiten jezelf – in mensen of dingen – leidt tot obsessie. Naast definities en adviezen worden dus ook waarschuwingen meegegeven. Hij besluit dit deel met een persoonlijke reflectie op zijn eigen levensweg, van zijn wortels tot zijn bestemming.
De discipline van het Boek (deel 2) richt zich op de ontmoeting met God via het Woord. Gebed en Schriftlezing staan hierbij centraal. Nouwen onderscheidt drie fasen in het onophoudelijk gebed (vgl. 1 Thess. 5:16): (1) het roepen tot God; (2) de conversatie met God; en (3) meditatie- en contemplatieoefeningen (p. 68). Hij beschrijft de beweging van een ego-centrische monoloog naar een theo-centrische dialoog (p. 71), en geeft concrete adviezen: bid op een vaste plek, op een vast moment, en met één concentratiepunt (p. 74).
Vervolgens stelt hij de essentiële vraag: Tot wie richt ik mijn gebed? Wie is God voor mij? Hij beschrijft God als (1) met ons; (2) als persoon; (3) als verborgen; en (4) als uitziende naar ons. De discipline richt zich op het luisteren naar het Woord. Nouwen laat zich daarbij inspireren door de woestijnvaders, voor wie het Woord vier dimensies had: (1) het Levende Woord (Jezus); (2) het geschreven Woord (Heilige Schrift); (3) het gesproken Woord (rhema), begrepen als profetisch woord uit de stilte; en (4) het door ons geschreven Woord. Dit vierde, door Nouwen toegevoegde aspect – het meditatief schrijven – speelde ook een belangrijke rol in zijn eigen leven. Schrijven helpt om orde te scheppen in de innerlijke veelheid en verborgen heelheid te ontdekken.
De lectio divina krijgt eveneens ruime aandacht. Deze wijze van biddend lezen is “een manier van lezen waarbij we het woord toestaan óns te lezen en te interpreteren” (p. 99). Door lectio divina is er een “voortgaande incarnatie van God in onze wereld” (p. 99) waarbij de lezer tot een “levende Christus voor vandaag” wordt (p. 101). Nouwen nodigt zoekers uit om zich te oefenen in deze vorm van lezen én schrijven, als discipline om het Woord daadwerkelijk vlees te laten worden in het eigen leven.
In het derde deel gaat het over de discipline van de gemeenschap. Nouwen leest Lucas 6,12-19 als een ritme: bidden in de nacht, gemeenschap in de morgen en dienstwerk in de middag. Hij onderscheidt drie bewegingen: (1) alleen-zijn met God in gebed; (2) het herkennen van en samenkomen met de ander in de gemeenschap; en (3) het dienstwerk of mededogen met de wereld (p. 116).
De gemeenschap begrijpt hij als “alleen-zijn dat alleen-zijn begroet.” Geestelijke groei is nooit puur individueel; het leidt altijd naar gemeenschap. Vergeving noemt hij “het cement van het gemeenschapsleven” (p. 126), waarmee ook het vermogen ontstaat om te vieren. We moeten leren vergeven dat anderen niet God zijn, zodat we hen als reflectie van Gods liefde kunnen zien, in plaats van hen tot idool te maken (p. 129).
In zijn hoofdstuk over dienstbaarheid citeert Nouwen een Talmoedisch verhaal waarin de Messias gevonden wordt onder de gewonde armen. Dit leidt tot zijn bekende beeld van de “gewonde genezer” (wounded healer) (p. 133). Dienstbaarheid is voor hem geen eenrichtingsverkeer, maar een overstromen van liefde die voortkomt uit wederzijdse kwetsbaarheid. Mededogen en dankbaarheid staan hierbij centraal, mogelijk gemaakt door “neerwaartse mobiliteit” en “vrijwillige verplaatsing” – twee disciplines die ware gemeenschap mogelijk maken.
Het boek sluit af met de woorden van Nouwen: “De Geest van God nodigt ons uit om naar binnen te kijken in het hart, naar God te kijken in het boek en te kijken naar anderen in de gemeenschap, opdat we de vragen zullen kunnen doorleven op de lange reis van het geloof” (p. 150). In de epiloog voegen de samenstellers nog een vierde discipline toe: die van het lichaam (p. 151). Voor de latere Nouwen werd de lichamelijke dimensie van spiritualiteit steeds belangrijker. Zijn fascinatie voor de Flying Rodleighs illustreert dit: belichaamde spiritualiteit als uitdrukking van de incarnatie: ook in het lichaam wordt het goddelijk leven aangeraakt.
Spiritueel Begeleiden is een inspirerend en mooi opgebouwd boek dat de lezer uitnodigt tot spirituele verdieping. Hoewel het ‘begeleiden’ in de titel doet vermoeden dat het primair over het proces van de begeleiding gaat, ligt de nadruk meer op de innerlijke weg van de gelovige. De visie op begeleiding wordt wel geschetst, maar altijd binnen de bredere context van de lange weg van het geloof.
Het boek is toegankelijk en tegelijk rijk aan inhoud, geschikt voor zowel begeleiders als zoekers. De drie (of vier) disciplines bieden een helder kader, waarbij Nouwen de lezer tegelijk meditatief als systematisch meeneemt: van persoonlijke vragen naar de Schrift, van alleen-zijn naar gemeenschap en dienstbaarheid. De aandacht voor incarnatie is opvallend: niet alleen in de vorm van Christus als Woord dat vlees wordt, maar ook in hoe het Woord in ons gestalte krijgt, bijvoorbeeld via de lectio divina of via het lichaam.
De stijl is warm, persoonlijk en meditatief. Elk hoofdstuk bevat reflectievragen en suggesties voor oefeningen, wat het boek zeer geschikt maakt voor persoonlijke bezinning of begeleidingstrajecten. Een kanttekening is dat het boek geen uitputtende pastorale of theologische positionering biedt; het spreekt duidelijk vanuit Nouwens persoonlijke spiritualiteit. Door het particuliere karakter van dit boek maak je als lezer kennis met Nouwen, maar blijft het ook (grotendeels) tot zijn visie en stijl beperkt. Tegelijkertijd is dat precies de kracht van dit boek: Henri Nouwen treedt op als spirituele gids, niet als systematisch theoloog. Wie dit boek leest, kan het ervaren alsof Nouwen onze gids is.
October 6, 2012
This book is a collection of articles, sermons, and other related works from the late Henri Nouwen, a catholic priest. The book is very interesting and informative but a word of caution for the readers. Some of Henri’s views are problematic but overall it is a good book, specially in the area of living in community. The book starts with a definition for Spiritual direction, that states, “it is a relationship initiated by a spiritual seeker who finds a mature person of faith willing to pray and respond with wisdom and understanding to his or her questions about how to live spiritually in a world of ambiguity and distraction”. In other words, a mentor. In this world with so much confusion and troubles, we sure need a godly person that can provide us with wisdom and help us in our walk with God.
The main point that in my opinion captures the essence of the book is the area of forgiveness. Community requires forgiveness. The book, states “that forgiveness means that I continually am willing to forgive the other person for not fulfilling all my needs and desires. Forgiveness says, ” I know you love me, but you don’t have to love me unconditionally, because only God can do that”. I too must ask forgiveness for not being able to fulfill other people’s total needs, for no human being can do that”. In addition, “our heart longs for satisfaction, for total communion. But human beings, whether it’s your husband, your wife, your father, mother, brother, sister, or child, are all limited in giving the level of love and acceptance we all crave. But since we want so much and we get only part of what we want, we have to keep on forgiving people for not giving us all we want. This is of enormous importance right now because constantly people look to blame their parents, their friends, and the church for not giving them what they need. Any relationship you enter into – will always be riddled with frustration and disappointment. So forgiveness becomes the word for divine love in the human context”. I completely agree with his views in this area. We get in the habit of asking and expecting too much from the people that are close to us, or even the government. But I think it is important to understand that only God can fill the void inside of us. If we trust God and faithfully follow His word then all things are possible.
I recommend this book but again the reader must keep a discerning eye.
May 23, 2021
always so much food for thought w/ Henri's writings....love the reflection ?s
December 20, 2013
Spiritual Direction is a series of lectures based on Henri Nouwen's classes and articles he wrote about...so in that sense it is not necessarily a Henri Nouwen book.
But any chance to go through Nouwen's wisdom on spiritualty is a good one. This book is divided into three sections: looking within, looking for God in the Word and looking for God in community. He explores each of these sections with biblical knowledge, personal stories, and a deep insight into the nature of people.
The book is designed for a quick read, but then provides an opportunity to go back and to re do the book with spiritual practices.
Nouwen's writing is very clear and very accessible. This is a good beginning to an understanding of Christian spirituality.
The title is misleading, because one might think the book is about the acutal art of spiritual direction...when it is not.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in Spiritualty
Grade: B
But any chance to go through Nouwen's wisdom on spiritualty is a good one. This book is divided into three sections: looking within, looking for God in the Word and looking for God in community. He explores each of these sections with biblical knowledge, personal stories, and a deep insight into the nature of people.
The book is designed for a quick read, but then provides an opportunity to go back and to re do the book with spiritual practices.
Nouwen's writing is very clear and very accessible. This is a good beginning to an understanding of Christian spirituality.
The title is misleading, because one might think the book is about the acutal art of spiritual direction...when it is not.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in Spiritualty
Grade: B
November 25, 2017
This book was fantastic to read.
A lot of questions I have about my own stage in life and what I’m becoming had light shed on them from this book. The book is divided into three parts: Looking within, Looking to God, and Looking to others.
Looking within asked questions such as, “where do I begin?” “Who am I?” “Where have I been and where am I going?” While the answers (and others I have personally) weren’t *completely* answered, they did provide a roadmap for me to travel.
Each chapter ends with a spiritual practice of some sort. They are meant to be done in a group, alone, or with a spiritual director.
The book is meant to be read twice: once through quickly and the next time slowly and allowing the chapter to soak into you. I look forward to go back and let the chapters speak to me once again. Would recommend.
A lot of questions I have about my own stage in life and what I’m becoming had light shed on them from this book. The book is divided into three parts: Looking within, Looking to God, and Looking to others.
Looking within asked questions such as, “where do I begin?” “Who am I?” “Where have I been and where am I going?” While the answers (and others I have personally) weren’t *completely* answered, they did provide a roadmap for me to travel.
Each chapter ends with a spiritual practice of some sort. They are meant to be done in a group, alone, or with a spiritual director.
The book is meant to be read twice: once through quickly and the next time slowly and allowing the chapter to soak into you. I look forward to go back and let the chapters speak to me once again. Would recommend.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 197 reviews