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Castles, Crime & Cake: A Policeman's Accidental Guide to History
From Police Officer to Medieval Castle Guide… via Britain’s Most Curious Crimes
It started with cake—as most good stories do. Then came the discovery that it’s illegal to chat to the postman for too long, and a spark was ignited.
What followed was a mad quest to break Britain’s strangest laws, spiralling out of control until I hit rock telling the woman from British Gas I got my energy from bananas.
Dejected, I wandered into a castle, was offered a job, and soon found myself learning that the ideal position in the Middle Ages involved doing a jump, a fart, and a whistle every Christmas. Then, amongst other things, came a monkey ghost, two-fingered gestures, and a knight to remember.
Eventually, I was leading unsuspecting visitors on my own irreverent guided tour of a magnificent medieval castle… and now you can come too!
The past was never this much fun—or this illegal.
This is the Author's Cut edition with 3 Bonus Chapters
It started with cake—as most good stories do. Then came the discovery that it’s illegal to chat to the postman for too long, and a spark was ignited.
What followed was a mad quest to break Britain’s strangest laws, spiralling out of control until I hit rock telling the woman from British Gas I got my energy from bananas.
Dejected, I wandered into a castle, was offered a job, and soon found myself learning that the ideal position in the Middle Ages involved doing a jump, a fart, and a whistle every Christmas. Then, amongst other things, came a monkey ghost, two-fingered gestures, and a knight to remember.
Eventually, I was leading unsuspecting visitors on my own irreverent guided tour of a magnificent medieval castle… and now you can come too!
The past was never this much fun—or this illegal.
This is the Author's Cut edition with 3 Bonus Chapters
330 pages, Paperback
Published February 3, 2026
About the author
John Donoghue
7 books399 followersJohn Donoghue has served Queen, King, and Country over forty years in the Royal Navy, British Army, and Police.
He has written five books about his experiences in the constabulary, which have included:
Arresting the bride at her wedding.
Chasing a naked lubed up dog thief.
A royal arrest that never made the headlines.
A woman who complained next door's bees were "stealing her pollen".
An undercover nun... and hundreds more bizarre 999 calls and incidents.
These days, he’s swapped handcuffs for heraldry as a guide at a medieval castle.
His latest book, 'Castles, Crime & Cake: A Policeman's Accidental Guide to History' tells the story of that transition, which also involved obscure long forgotten crimes... and cake.
He also has a dog, Monty, who’s yet to break any known laws, but has taken on the role of farting jester perfectly.
Feel free to follow me on twitter @johndonoghue64
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
February 19, 2026
This was such a fun, factual read — history told exactly how it should be: entertaining, irreverent, and packed with personality.
John’s humour and wit shine from the very first chapter, and I loved going on the journey with him (and Monty!) from retired police officer to medieval castle guide. What starts with curious laws and bizarre British byelaws quickly spirals into a wonderfully chaotic adventure of reinvention, castles, and gloriously strange historical discoveries.
The early chapters on obscure laws genuinely made me laugh, and once we move into the medieval history, the book really hits its stride. The mix of fun facts and grisly details is spot on — some of the monarch deaths mentioned (page 178!) are not for the faint-hearted. The alternative name John told his friend that a “Fat Rascal” was called that had customers at Betty’s clutching their pearls? Absolutely priceless.
This book truly has a bit of everything: humour, history, personal reflection, and wonderfully eccentric British charm. It felt like Horrible Histories for adults — informative but never dry, and always delivered with a wink.
I would genuinely love to go on one of John’s guided tours after reading this. If the book is anything to go by, they must be brilliant.
I’ve already told my husband he’s reading this next. I know he’ll love it just as much as I did.
John’s humour and wit shine from the very first chapter, and I loved going on the journey with him (and Monty!) from retired police officer to medieval castle guide. What starts with curious laws and bizarre British byelaws quickly spirals into a wonderfully chaotic adventure of reinvention, castles, and gloriously strange historical discoveries.
The early chapters on obscure laws genuinely made me laugh, and once we move into the medieval history, the book really hits its stride. The mix of fun facts and grisly details is spot on — some of the monarch deaths mentioned (page 178!) are not for the faint-hearted. The alternative name John told his friend that a “Fat Rascal” was called that had customers at Betty’s clutching their pearls? Absolutely priceless.
This book truly has a bit of everything: humour, history, personal reflection, and wonderfully eccentric British charm. It felt like Horrible Histories for adults — informative but never dry, and always delivered with a wink.
I would genuinely love to go on one of John’s guided tours after reading this. If the book is anything to go by, they must be brilliant.
I’ve already told my husband he’s reading this next. I know he’ll love it just as much as I did.
February 13, 2026
Queue 🎶 music 🎵 from “Rosy and Grey” by
The Lowest of the Low
What a true gem of a novel! John Donoghue’s latest release had me laughing out loud so much, I was even asked to stop reading and hand the book over! Castles, Crime and Cake is not only funny – it IS AS poignant, entertaining, and informative as it is humorous.
From his attempts at breaking the weirdest laws in history, to learning AND figuring out how to navigate the four stages of retirement, to taking us with him on a Welsh castle tour, this novel has something for everyone. I loved just about everything, the research, the banter, and all the tidbits of wisdom interspersed! (And any parts I didn’t, I just followed John’s sage advice from the beginning of the story:
“… just ignore it, step over it, and put it down to my awkward sense of humour, and wait for the next good thing to come along. They’re just my opinions after all, and not your actual reality.”
Not only have I given the "two beers and a puppy test" a go, jotted notes for our own retirement, and made quote post-its, I've mapped our Welsh castle itinerary and truly hope to one day catch John's tour when we visit the UK next! Highly recommend this book!
Thank you to @lovebookstours and @johndonoghue64 for my gifted ecopy. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
The Lowest of the Low
What a true gem of a novel! John Donoghue’s latest release had me laughing out loud so much, I was even asked to stop reading and hand the book over! Castles, Crime and Cake is not only funny – it IS AS poignant, entertaining, and informative as it is humorous.
From his attempts at breaking the weirdest laws in history, to learning AND figuring out how to navigate the four stages of retirement, to taking us with him on a Welsh castle tour, this novel has something for everyone. I loved just about everything, the research, the banter, and all the tidbits of wisdom interspersed! (And any parts I didn’t, I just followed John’s sage advice from the beginning of the story:
“… just ignore it, step over it, and put it down to my awkward sense of humour, and wait for the next good thing to come along. They’re just my opinions after all, and not your actual reality.”
Not only have I given the "two beers and a puppy test" a go, jotted notes for our own retirement, and made quote post-its, I've mapped our Welsh castle itinerary and truly hope to one day catch John's tour when we visit the UK next! Highly recommend this book!
Thank you to @lovebookstours and @johndonoghue64 for my gifted ecopy. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
February 19, 2026
Castles, Crime and Cake well when I first signed up to this I thought I was getting a historical crime thriller but what I got instead was a thrilling story which featured a bit of real life crime, historical facts and a whole lot of amusing tid bits that had me laughing out loud - I mean it's my own fault as I did read the blurb but obviously not well.
Anywho alls well that ends well because I absolutely loved this memoir.
This is the first book (obviously) that I've read by John Donoghue and my god! I'll be recommending it to whomever listens.
The writing style was fantastic, I loved the way he spoke to the audience whilst retelling his tales, breaking that 4th wall made the reading experience great and funnier.
John's humour really stood out for me, his ramblings at times (and I say this in a nice way) reminded me of myself when I go off on one.. probably like now in this review 😂
I loved the historical facts we got in this novel too, the castle sounds so interesting too. To sum it up I absolutely loved this book and no I didn't take the suggested tea breaks 😂
Anywho alls well that ends well because I absolutely loved this memoir.
This is the first book (obviously) that I've read by John Donoghue and my god! I'll be recommending it to whomever listens.
The writing style was fantastic, I loved the way he spoke to the audience whilst retelling his tales, breaking that 4th wall made the reading experience great and funnier.
John's humour really stood out for me, his ramblings at times (and I say this in a nice way) reminded me of myself when I go off on one.. probably like now in this review 😂
I loved the historical facts we got in this novel too, the castle sounds so interesting too. To sum it up I absolutely loved this book and no I didn't take the suggested tea breaks 😂
February 13, 2026
I wasn’t sure what to expect from Castles, Crime and Cake, as this was my first time reading John Donoghue — but it certainly won’t be my last!
This book genuinely made me laugh out loud (not just a polite “lol”), earning me more than a few strange looks. From the very first WI meeting, I was completely hooked. It’s funny, full of wonderfully random facts I’ll definitely be repeating, and also offers an interesting glimpse into John’s career and his “four stages of retirement.”
Some beautiful quotes too … a personal favourite “If you spend time chasing butterflies they’ll fly away, but if you spend your time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies come to you” … I also particularly liked ‘It is foolish to think you have to read all the books you buy” but that might just be because my TBR is humongous! 😂
A great choice if you’re after something a bit different — witty, quirky, and thoroughly entertaining.
This book genuinely made me laugh out loud (not just a polite “lol”), earning me more than a few strange looks. From the very first WI meeting, I was completely hooked. It’s funny, full of wonderfully random facts I’ll definitely be repeating, and also offers an interesting glimpse into John’s career and his “four stages of retirement.”
Some beautiful quotes too … a personal favourite “If you spend time chasing butterflies they’ll fly away, but if you spend your time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies come to you” … I also particularly liked ‘It is foolish to think you have to read all the books you buy” but that might just be because my TBR is humongous! 😂
A great choice if you’re after something a bit different — witty, quirky, and thoroughly entertaining.
February 8, 2026
Back with John again to learn more about his life and experience. I enjoyed A Bonsai Tree Named Geoff and was interested by the title of this. Im quite partial to a slice of cake and do enjoy visits to old fancy houses and castles so that got my attention.
The WI meeting was amusing as was taking someone's cake. 😆 Can imagine that did not go down well at all. Village life always seemed quite novel to me, being a city dweller, but I know people can be set in their ways and quick to judge a newcomer. It does sound like a nice place to be and I'm sure Monty enjoys his walks.
Retirement is a long way off for me but seems like something fun to look forward to. The 4 stages of retirement actually make sense and gives you something to think about (thanks Gwen and John).
Not sure I'd pick something that requires as much social interaction as John did but it sounds like it suits him quite well. There are a lot of interesting facts in this from old laws and bylaws that are still in place to grisly deaths in medieval times too. All told with good humour so your interest is kept throughout.
The WI meeting was amusing as was taking someone's cake. 😆 Can imagine that did not go down well at all. Village life always seemed quite novel to me, being a city dweller, but I know people can be set in their ways and quick to judge a newcomer. It does sound like a nice place to be and I'm sure Monty enjoys his walks.
Retirement is a long way off for me but seems like something fun to look forward to. The 4 stages of retirement actually make sense and gives you something to think about (thanks Gwen and John).
Not sure I'd pick something that requires as much social interaction as John did but it sounds like it suits him quite well. There are a lot of interesting facts in this from old laws and bylaws that are still in place to grisly deaths in medieval times too. All told with good humour so your interest is kept throughout.
February 12, 2026
This is a book about Britain’s most curious crimes. Starting with cake, tea and a talk about his career in the Police service the author takes the reader on a fascinating criminal journey. I smiled, I laughed, I shared snippets with others. I loved the Are You Middle Aged? chapter - the scone and jam first debate (the correct way) and The Groom on the Stool role. I enjoyed the Ten Life Lessons from the Police Parts One and Two and the role throughout of Monty the dog. A great cover, a great read and a great talking point. The book would make a really good book club read with cake/scones and tea of course.
February 12, 2026
This is such a great memoir. John Donoghue has a wonderful writing style that has you laughing out loud one minute and then learning some interesting historical fact the next. In this book we join him as he starts on his journey through the four stages of retirement. It’s a really engaging memoir full of fun facts, interesting stories and entertaining characters. It’s an easy book to pick up and put down and will have you chuckling to yourself. I actually had several people ask me what I was reading when I was out and about due to the giggles this book caused.
February 10, 2026
Castles, Crime & Cake by John Donoghue
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
An entertaining non-fiction book following John in his retirement after serving in the military and the police. That may sound dull to some but it most definitely isn't. Told with great humour there's stories, facts, laws, and asides which all add to the main storyline.
I loved that we got to follow the tour at the end, I now need to find the Castle to follow it round 🤔
Reading little snippets of John's time in the police force, and I now want to read his other books.
I received a gifted copy of this book.
This is my honest review.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
An entertaining non-fiction book following John in his retirement after serving in the military and the police. That may sound dull to some but it most definitely isn't. Told with great humour there's stories, facts, laws, and asides which all add to the main storyline.
I loved that we got to follow the tour at the end, I now need to find the Castle to follow it round 🤔
Reading little snippets of John's time in the police force, and I now want to read his other books.
I received a gifted copy of this book.
This is my honest review.
February 6, 2026
Very funny and entertaining, I love this latest book by this author.
If I could give more than five stars I would.
If I could give more than five stars I would.
February 3, 2026
After a year struggling with the biggest challenge of my life, I needed some therapy. John Donoghue always provides it. His writing that is! John is also facing a monumental challenge: The four stages of retirement, as in how to cope in your retirement psychologically. He has one third of his life left on this planet and needs to give his retirement purpose and soul, as advised by his former shift colleague from the police, which led John to ponder the different phases of Heaven. In the author’s opinion, ‘Paradise would be where all the dogs you’ve ever loved and lost are waiting for you.’ I think most dog lovers would echo that sentiment. John realises he’s been coasting in stage one of retirement, the holiday phase, quite happily, but, ‘there’s only a limited amount of time you can lounge around doing nothing before it all begins to lose its lustre,’ his colleague sagely imparts. John is heading fast for stage two, the boredom stage, and has to take action and move swiftly on to stage three, the opportunity stage, in order to reap his rewards (stage four). Thus, his frantic search for the perfect opportunity, and breaking all the crazy laws in the land isn’t it! Giving his police talks in front of audiences like the WI, where the cakes are possibly more exciting, isn’t it either. John takes a chance and emails the warden of the castle. And his CV impresses. No spoilers as to why. He’s going to give guided tours! Small problem, he knows nothing about medieval history. I have to say that for a man who knows nothing, he had me engrossed. I reckon this book should be recommended reading in schools. I could go on but suffice to say the book is stuffed full of facts, as well as anecdotes, plus a bit of artistic licence to entertain his audience. John finds his golden fleece! Castles, Crime & Cake got me laughing out loud. Good therapy! Whatever you do, don’t skip the Bonus Material at the end: The WI Files. It's full of useful information and hilarious. If you need a pick me up, I would highly recommend you pick up this book!
February 20, 2026
This is a deep dive into John’s life after retiring from the Police Force. After an off the cuff comment from one of his former colleagues about it being against the law to delay a postman to too long, John found himself going down a rabbit hole of discovering, and trying to break, the strangest laws in Britain. This hare brained scheme led him to a medieval castle and a job as a tour guide.
I love history and am partial to the odd tour or two of castles, stately homes, and numerous other historically significant places, so I was really looking forward to reading this book. And I am glad to say that it didn’t disappoint. John’s writing style is fun and engaging from the very first page, right the way through to the last. The sheer amount of information and random facts that live in his head made him the perfect candidate for a tour guide.
John is hilarious and self-deprecating as well as a great story teller, all of which shone through every page of this book. I loved his sense of humour and his obsession with cake of any kind. I would love to go on one of his tours or attend one of his talks, they sound funny and intriguing. This was a fun-packed four star read for me and I would definitely recommend.
I love history and am partial to the odd tour or two of castles, stately homes, and numerous other historically significant places, so I was really looking forward to reading this book. And I am glad to say that it didn’t disappoint. John’s writing style is fun and engaging from the very first page, right the way through to the last. The sheer amount of information and random facts that live in his head made him the perfect candidate for a tour guide.
John is hilarious and self-deprecating as well as a great story teller, all of which shone through every page of this book. I loved his sense of humour and his obsession with cake of any kind. I would love to go on one of his tours or attend one of his talks, they sound funny and intriguing. This was a fun-packed four star read for me and I would definitely recommend.
January 26, 2026
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
A funny & intriguing autobiographical adventure of a former police officer who inadvertently ends up as a medieval castle tour guide.
Initially after leaving the police, the author went on a quest to break some the UK’s archaic laws which still remain in statute despite technically being obsolete. These include walking with a plank of wood along the pavement, acting suspiciously with a salmon 🐟🤣 & handling a dead swan in public (he didn’t try that one!)
He then recounts getting a job as a tour guide at a local medieval castle and the extensive (& highly humorous!) preparation to put together his hour long tour. The tour detail is included along with a snapshot of some the most ridiculous guest questions & comments (why was the castle built next to railway?!) 🤣
As an added bonus for me, being obsessed with UK history, there was also plenty of historical facts & stories, mostly related to the castle, woven into his own experiences.
A hilarious account with plenty of witty one liners that actually made me laugh out loud on numerous occasions🤣
An absolute must if you are in the need for some humour!
A funny & intriguing autobiographical adventure of a former police officer who inadvertently ends up as a medieval castle tour guide.
Initially after leaving the police, the author went on a quest to break some the UK’s archaic laws which still remain in statute despite technically being obsolete. These include walking with a plank of wood along the pavement, acting suspiciously with a salmon 🐟🤣 & handling a dead swan in public (he didn’t try that one!)
He then recounts getting a job as a tour guide at a local medieval castle and the extensive (& highly humorous!) preparation to put together his hour long tour. The tour detail is included along with a snapshot of some the most ridiculous guest questions & comments (why was the castle built next to railway?!) 🤣
As an added bonus for me, being obsessed with UK history, there was also plenty of historical facts & stories, mostly related to the castle, woven into his own experiences.
A hilarious account with plenty of witty one liners that actually made me laugh out loud on numerous occasions🤣
An absolute must if you are in the need for some humour!
May 31, 2026
I had a feeling about this book, and I was absolutely right,
I had such a good time!
I thrive when I get to learn new things, and with John's humor, I had a great time learning. It sounds like presentations on history are the thing to do if he gets bored being retired.😊
🔹️
"I'm not sure why most quests in the olden days involved killing a boar."
🔹️
I just love castles, and I do not know why. It could be because we do not really have that many in Norway, now viking ships, that we have.
It could be the fact that they are not cookie-cutter, all of them unique. It could absolutely be the historical aspect, which made me enjoy John's historical facts even more fascinating to read about.
Now, do not think that this is all a lesson of history. It is not. We get stories from John's career in the police as well as private stories.
I use the author's name because I feel like I know him now, and I enjoyed that he is not taking himself too seriously.
If you are at least mildly interested in history or enjoy laughing, this might have to be your next read.😁
I had such a good time!
I thrive when I get to learn new things, and with John's humor, I had a great time learning. It sounds like presentations on history are the thing to do if he gets bored being retired.😊
🔹️
"I'm not sure why most quests in the olden days involved killing a boar."
🔹️
I just love castles, and I do not know why. It could be because we do not really have that many in Norway, now viking ships, that we have.
It could be the fact that they are not cookie-cutter, all of them unique. It could absolutely be the historical aspect, which made me enjoy John's historical facts even more fascinating to read about.
Now, do not think that this is all a lesson of history. It is not. We get stories from John's career in the police as well as private stories.
I use the author's name because I feel like I know him now, and I enjoyed that he is not taking himself too seriously.
If you are at least mildly interested in history or enjoy laughing, this might have to be your next read.😁
February 16, 2026
This is a light hearted memoir that keeps you locked in. By first glance the cover instantly draws you in with the brightness of the colour and the title mentioning cake, as what sort of person isn’t going to want read a book with cake in its title?
Each chapter has an intriguing title and a lovely graphic of a dog and rabbit which as an animal lover, I really loved.
Through out the book there is a lot of detail and descriptive writing about the history. I really appreciated the number of historical facts involved in this read. It’s a very educational read and if you are into history and learning about several time periods then this would be the perfect read for you.
Not only is there an educational element to the book, there is also the perfect amount of humour involved which is what keeps you engaged.
Each chapter has an intriguing title and a lovely graphic of a dog and rabbit which as an animal lover, I really loved.
Through out the book there is a lot of detail and descriptive writing about the history. I really appreciated the number of historical facts involved in this read. It’s a very educational read and if you are into history and learning about several time periods then this would be the perfect read for you.
Not only is there an educational element to the book, there is also the perfect amount of humour involved which is what keeps you engaged.
February 18, 2026
Castles, Crime & Cake by John Donoghue is A Policeman’s Accidental Guide to History and honestly… what a journey. This autobiographical read is funny, slightly quirky, and something a bit different, which I really enjoyed. I loved learning about some of the weird UK laws along the way, and the humour runs through the whole book.
It’s an easy read that I flew through in one go, making it perfect if you just want something laid back but still with a bit of history to it. It’s entertaining without trying too hard, and I found myself smiling a lot while reading.
I love how the author doesn’t hold back on his personality at all, it makes the book feel very real and very him. This was such a fun, unexpectedly brilliant read and it’s definitely made me want to pick up more books by John Donoghue.
It’s an easy read that I flew through in one go, making it perfect if you just want something laid back but still with a bit of history to it. It’s entertaining without trying too hard, and I found myself smiling a lot while reading.
I love how the author doesn’t hold back on his personality at all, it makes the book feel very real and very him. This was such a fun, unexpectedly brilliant read and it’s definitely made me want to pick up more books by John Donoghue.
March 16, 2026
Retiring from a long-standing career offers people the opportunity to do something different with their lives and John Donoghue did just that. After a stern lesson on the four stages of retirement, John decides to skip the parts that seem likely to be depressing and find a new vocation in life. The result is to train as a guide for an extremely old monument. However his research to write the perfect tour talk leads him down many an interesting rabbit hole. This book, peppered with John’s off-the-cuff humour, had me laughing and learning on every page. His writing is infectiously funny and I really enjoyed the history, the anecdotes and the humour he uses to relate them. As both a personal journey into a fulfilling retirement role and a book full of fascinating history about crimes and punishment, I can recommend it very highly. Thank you, John, for a truly entertaining read.
February 12, 2026
I loved receiving and reading Johns autobiographical novel enjoying delving into and savouring rather than reading from cover to cover continuously. John's brain must be spilling over with odd facts and stories from his days in the armed forces and police as well as his general knowledge which have been included in the book. Facts and outdated laws are presented without dryness in a quirky, humourous way often in a LOL inducing manner.
I especially found the "Stages of Retirement" personally interesting as I'd resigned from work it had just got too awful so thought I'd take early retirement and was working out my resignation period as Covid measures hit the country. So I went into a strange Stage 1 Holiday and Stage 2 Boredom sense of limbo without a formal leaving work and retiring.....I'm still waiting for my ex-line manager to deliver my leaving card from the team!
I especially found the "Stages of Retirement" personally interesting as I'd resigned from work it had just got too awful so thought I'd take early retirement and was working out my resignation period as Covid measures hit the country. So I went into a strange Stage 1 Holiday and Stage 2 Boredom sense of limbo without a formal leaving work and retiring.....I'm still waiting for my ex-line manager to deliver my leaving card from the team!
February 16, 2026
This book had me very intrigued from just the title. When I started reading, it turned into a brilliant, funny autobiographical adventure. The author is a former police officer who found himself retired with time on his hands. He first decided to go on a mission to break some of the more archaic laws still in existence today, such as acting suspicious with a salmon! Next up was his job as a Medieval castle tour guide and his prep for this job. There were lots of funny moments in the book as well as some great insights into the author’s life as he adjusted to the next phase of his life, retirement. I thoroughly enjoyed this funny, honest read.
February 18, 2026
Recently retired John Donoghue’s easy, witty, entertaining, informative, and consistently amusing anecdotes captured me from the very first page.
John is master of the written segue, pivot and twist. He executes them at a pace and with an aplomb guaranteed to take you with him, most willingly, even though you know not where.
His unexpected conversation with his ex-police partner on the four stages of retirement – recommended reading all retirees -- cause him to reflect. Not long after his life is changed and he’s rewarded in a most unpredictable way.
A delightful and enlightening read. Fortunately for me, he has written more books!
John is master of the written segue, pivot and twist. He executes them at a pace and with an aplomb guaranteed to take you with him, most willingly, even though you know not where.
His unexpected conversation with his ex-police partner on the four stages of retirement – recommended reading all retirees -- cause him to reflect. Not long after his life is changed and he’s rewarded in a most unpredictable way.
A delightful and enlightening read. Fortunately for me, he has written more books!
February 15, 2026
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's a wonderful memoir of becoming a castle tour guide after retiring and a failed "historical crime spree".
It's full of laugh out loud moments (really! I'm glad I read this at home - with a brew and cake - and not in public, I was constantly giggling).
I even found myself learning more about history, maybe not the authors' intent, but I love a good historical fact and went away to research some of the things that were mentioned.
The star of the book for me was the lovely Monty, what a dog!
It's full of laugh out loud moments (really! I'm glad I read this at home - with a brew and cake - and not in public, I was constantly giggling).
I even found myself learning more about history, maybe not the authors' intent, but I love a good historical fact and went away to research some of the things that were mentioned.
The star of the book for me was the lovely Monty, what a dog!
February 16, 2026
Very funny from the beginning. A few comments made me laugh straight away.
Love how he goes off on a tangent when starting to talk about something but everything is linked in a way. If you've ever been to a Ross Noble gig you will know what I mean.
So many parts that you read and think yes that is 100% true and it really made me laugh.
It really got me thinking about what I would like to do when I retire but as that is not going to be anytime soon, I think I will probably have changed my mind 100 times over before then.
Love how he goes off on a tangent when starting to talk about something but everything is linked in a way. If you've ever been to a Ross Noble gig you will know what I mean.
So many parts that you read and think yes that is 100% true and it really made me laugh.
It really got me thinking about what I would like to do when I retire but as that is not going to be anytime soon, I think I will probably have changed my mind 100 times over before then.
February 15, 2026
What a wonderfully fun story this was.
It's one man's intrepid tale from his attempts to break Britain's strangest laws, to navigating retirement, to his adventures in becoming a Welsh castle tour guide.
All in all, an absolute gem of a read, with lots of laugh out loud moments, interesting details and some nice, personal, poignancy.
It's an easy read that I'm sure you'll find yourself flying through effortlessly.
4 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 's from me.
It's one man's intrepid tale from his attempts to break Britain's strangest laws, to navigating retirement, to his adventures in becoming a Welsh castle tour guide.
All in all, an absolute gem of a read, with lots of laugh out loud moments, interesting details and some nice, personal, poignancy.
It's an easy read that I'm sure you'll find yourself flying through effortlessly.
4 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 's from me.
May 19, 2026
funny
Liked this book although it did cause me confusion at some points. I’d love to hear one of his castle tours actually. Going to look for more of his books.
Liked this book although it did cause me confusion at some points. I’d love to hear one of his castle tours actually. Going to look for more of his books.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I finished this book and my first thought was I’m not really sure what I just read, but I certainly enjoyed the rather wild ride we went on. Castles, Crime & Cake is a memoir of former police officer John, chronicling his time after retirement as he starts a quest to find a new purpose to occupy his time.
The author somehow begins by attempting to break some odd archaic laws that are somehow still part of British law. This concerns his wife and former colleagues. Feeling dejected he walks into a castle and somehow walks back out as a new tour guide. There begins months of research to perfect his guided tour of 1000 years of history.
The whole book is full of jokes, innuendos and misinterpreting what people have said. The humour may not appeal to all, but I enjoyed it. A woman saying she is eating for two being misconstrued as she has worms cracked me up in particular.
The narrative is a bit all over the place. The author goes off on tangents and the whole book reads like a word for word written down anecdotal story. It was unlike anything I've read before but I enjoyed the craziness of it.
The author somehow begins by attempting to break some odd archaic laws that are somehow still part of British law. This concerns his wife and former colleagues. Feeling dejected he walks into a castle and somehow walks back out as a new tour guide. There begins months of research to perfect his guided tour of 1000 years of history.
The whole book is full of jokes, innuendos and misinterpreting what people have said. The humour may not appeal to all, but I enjoyed it. A woman saying she is eating for two being misconstrued as she has worms cracked me up in particular.
The narrative is a bit all over the place. The author goes off on tangents and the whole book reads like a word for word written down anecdotal story. It was unlike anything I've read before but I enjoyed the craziness of it.
February 23, 2026
“I was sitting on a hard plastic chair at the back of the village hall, and I did the customary British thing of pretending not to notice the biscuits that were being handed around the room”
Is there anything more British, than pretending you haven’t seen the biscuits 😂😂😂
I loved this book. Totally outside of my comfort zone, with it being non fiction. At one point I did think how much is true and how much is exaggerated but this was honestly such a great read. I laughed so much through out, I even cried a little bit 🙊
John has retired and he sets out to find his purpose in life, deciding that he’s going to look into weird and wonderful laws that exist. When it’s pointed out he might actually get arrested, he decides to look elsewhere.
This is like Horrible Histories mixed with Mike Wozniak 😂😂 everything that John tells you, I could imagine it being in horrible histories as “weird but true”. It was such an enjoyable read, I read it in a few hours.
I love how much time and energy John invests, it’s clear he’s passionate about what he does. I would love to go on the castle tour that he’s a tour guide for. I think it would be such a hoot. We don’t tend to do guided tours, we usually just go around ourselves so it’s refreshing to find out how much has been researched just for an hour guide.
I really loved this book. Even though I’m not retired, it feels so relatable. John has done an excellent job with this.
Is there anything more British, than pretending you haven’t seen the biscuits 😂😂😂
I loved this book. Totally outside of my comfort zone, with it being non fiction. At one point I did think how much is true and how much is exaggerated but this was honestly such a great read. I laughed so much through out, I even cried a little bit 🙊
John has retired and he sets out to find his purpose in life, deciding that he’s going to look into weird and wonderful laws that exist. When it’s pointed out he might actually get arrested, he decides to look elsewhere.
This is like Horrible Histories mixed with Mike Wozniak 😂😂 everything that John tells you, I could imagine it being in horrible histories as “weird but true”. It was such an enjoyable read, I read it in a few hours.
I love how much time and energy John invests, it’s clear he’s passionate about what he does. I would love to go on the castle tour that he’s a tour guide for. I think it would be such a hoot. We don’t tend to do guided tours, we usually just go around ourselves so it’s refreshing to find out how much has been researched just for an hour guide.
I really loved this book. Even though I’m not retired, it feels so relatable. John has done an excellent job with this.
June 1, 2026
Recently retired , after a career in both the Navy and the Police John Donoghue is enjoying lif, taking things easy and spending time walking hs dog Monty. What's not to like? Then an ex colleague tells him about the four stages of retirement and encourages him to find a new vocation. Taking her adice to heart. What follows is a highly entertaining account of a number of bizarre jobs which he considers and discards.The things that go through his mind had me almost crying with laughter at times.
He is a master teller of tales and this book is a real tonic - guaranteed to give you a giggle.
Happily, John finds his perfect job as a tour guide at a nearby castle. How I would love to be in one of the groups he takes round this wonderful Welsh castle.
He is a master teller of tales and this book is a real tonic - guaranteed to give you a giggle.
Happily, John finds his perfect job as a tour guide at a nearby castle. How I would love to be in one of the groups he takes round this wonderful Welsh castle.
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