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How to Be Less Useful: The Joy of Inefficiency
A delightful book about reclaiming pleasure in mid-life—a potent mix of self-help and memoir, from one of today’s wittiest, wisest voices.
"I have done everything right, and I have missed everything."
When did our lives become entirely about efficiency and optimization? Especially as office workers, as parents, as consumers, as exercisers and healthy eaters. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all be less useful?
With self-deprecating humor, devastating insight, and bracing honesty, Priyanka Mattoo shares her own journey toward being a less useful human, to investigate why pleasure gets back-burnered in American culture.
Think about what we choose to systematically cut out or overlook as we mature: Solo travel. Dessert. Sweaty dancing. "Pointless" hangs with friends. And then there are the activities that used to be fun and have somehow lost their luster, usually in the decade between 30 and 40: Cooking (ruined by exhaustion). Bad tv (the algorithm). Other humans (bandwidth). Eating at restaurants (Instagram).
Mattoo takes on the zeitgeist, delivering invaluable, laugh-out-loud entertaining life lessons without an ounce of preachiness or pressure. She looks at where pleasure begins, what it serves, how we learn to repress it—in families, in friendships and romantic relationships, in jobs. And she shows us a way back: to identify and accept the things that give us pleasure, then to welcome them into our lives. What if, instead of being useful, we could all learn how to be happier, lighter, more present, more engaged? How to Be Less Useful is refreshing, funny, sparklingly astute, unignorable--a book for the current moment.
"I have done everything right, and I have missed everything."
When did our lives become entirely about efficiency and optimization? Especially as office workers, as parents, as consumers, as exercisers and healthy eaters. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all be less useful?
With self-deprecating humor, devastating insight, and bracing honesty, Priyanka Mattoo shares her own journey toward being a less useful human, to investigate why pleasure gets back-burnered in American culture.
Think about what we choose to systematically cut out or overlook as we mature: Solo travel. Dessert. Sweaty dancing. "Pointless" hangs with friends. And then there are the activities that used to be fun and have somehow lost their luster, usually in the decade between 30 and 40: Cooking (ruined by exhaustion). Bad tv (the algorithm). Other humans (bandwidth). Eating at restaurants (Instagram).
Mattoo takes on the zeitgeist, delivering invaluable, laugh-out-loud entertaining life lessons without an ounce of preachiness or pressure. She looks at where pleasure begins, what it serves, how we learn to repress it—in families, in friendships and romantic relationships, in jobs. And she shows us a way back: to identify and accept the things that give us pleasure, then to welcome them into our lives. What if, instead of being useful, we could all learn how to be happier, lighter, more present, more engaged? How to Be Less Useful is refreshing, funny, sparklingly astute, unignorable--a book for the current moment.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published November 3, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
August 11, 2026
I received an ARC of this book, and I loved it. I think the best writers are able to suck you in and make you identify with them even when you are different, and this author did that. I am not an immigrant or a parent, two strong aspects of her identity, and yet I kept feeling like she “got me” and like my best friend could have written this.
I love how unpretentious she is, how she recognizes both her privileges and challenges together. She acknowledges fights with her husband while simultaneously describing him with utmost love and respect and kindness. It feels real, and like I would love to be her friend. Warm.
The plot of the essays does follow her overall desire to control less in her life, to set better boundaries and priorities, to understand who and why she is how she is. I loved how each essay both built on the previous ones and could stand alone. Sometimes it feels like authors just throw a bunch of stories together, and this felt better thought-out and intentional. I never felt preached at, but I felt I was choosing strategies and ideas to take and improve my own life cadences. I used one this morning. Beautiful book.
I love how unpretentious she is, how she recognizes both her privileges and challenges together. She acknowledges fights with her husband while simultaneously describing him with utmost love and respect and kindness. It feels real, and like I would love to be her friend. Warm.
The plot of the essays does follow her overall desire to control less in her life, to set better boundaries and priorities, to understand who and why she is how she is. I loved how each essay both built on the previous ones and could stand alone. Sometimes it feels like authors just throw a bunch of stories together, and this felt better thought-out and intentional. I never felt preached at, but I felt I was choosing strategies and ideas to take and improve my own life cadences. I used one this morning. Beautiful book.
March 23, 2026
Full of charm, wit, and dry humor - Priyanka Mattoo lets us in on her little secret to happiness.
November 3, 2026
I was drawn to the title and the description of the essays (I always want to read more about how we can be less useful and more self-indulgent!). I was expecting the essays to be more about how to cultivate a bon vivant lifestyle and the beauty of taking a break every now and again, but much of it is focused on very real and painful health issues, motherhood, juggling multiple demands, etc. While I enjoyed a few of the essays and the writing, particularly the first one, I did not quite connect to the collection as a whole.
Thank you to Knopf and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a copy.
Thank you to Knopf and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a copy.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This was way more memoir than commentary, with each chapter reading like its own personal essay. That made it a really easy read, and I thought the writing was excellent. Since I wasn’t familiar with the author beforehand, though, some of the life lessons told through her own experiences didn’t resonate as strongly with me. Still, this was a thoughtful, well-written, and very readable book—just a little different from what I expected going in.
Thanks to NetGalley and Knopf for the eARC!
Thanks to NetGalley and Knopf for the eARC!
Did Not Finish
November 5, 2026DNF at 40%. Well-written and engaging, just not what I expected. I know it was supposed to be a self-help/memoir blend, but it was reading more memoir about being a mom, which I just can't relate to at this time nor do I really have any interest in. I thought it was going to be more anecdotal stories connecting back to finding your sense of self, and it was that but more from her perspective than offering any kind of useful tips/insight (at least for where I'm at in life). A good book, just not personally for me.
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
a beautiful, reflective book that encouraged me to inspect my own insecurities re: being useful and its (perceived) relation to being deserving of love. I needed this book. ♥️
October 31, 2026
Many thanks to NetGalley and Knopf for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
"When I was a child, being praised for my self-reliance led to incredible confidence and competence, but now I'm a grown woman who cringes at the idea of having needs, let alone expressing them. A woman who hears most offers of help as an insult, or a vote of no confidence. And then at the end of another exhausting day/week/month, I wonder why I'm so drained. 'You don't need to worry about her', said all those people, showering me with their approval when I was a kid. But what if I WANTED to be worried about, just a little?"
Whelp... that sounds vaguely familiar. 🥴
In a series of essays, Mattoo does a beautiful job analyzing her own path toward becoming "less useful" to others in her life. And while she writes from a place of great privilege, which normally I find off-putting (see Strangers), I found this to be extremely relatable. Mattoo examines the pressure women put on ourselves to be responsible for the happiness and well being of others, being all things to all people, being constantly on call, and having everything "just right". She gets so much right, including how striving to meet these expectations not only hurts us, but is sometimes not at all good for those we are trying to care for. And in the midst of this, we manage to accumulate a spate of resentments and utter weariness, missing out on so much joy. She writes with honestly and humor and love, and I found this book to be a delight to read. I think so many women will see themselves in these essays, and I highly recommend this.
"When I was a child, being praised for my self-reliance led to incredible confidence and competence, but now I'm a grown woman who cringes at the idea of having needs, let alone expressing them. A woman who hears most offers of help as an insult, or a vote of no confidence. And then at the end of another exhausting day/week/month, I wonder why I'm so drained. 'You don't need to worry about her', said all those people, showering me with their approval when I was a kid. But what if I WANTED to be worried about, just a little?"
Whelp... that sounds vaguely familiar. 🥴
In a series of essays, Mattoo does a beautiful job analyzing her own path toward becoming "less useful" to others in her life. And while she writes from a place of great privilege, which normally I find off-putting (see Strangers), I found this to be extremely relatable. Mattoo examines the pressure women put on ourselves to be responsible for the happiness and well being of others, being all things to all people, being constantly on call, and having everything "just right". She gets so much right, including how striving to meet these expectations not only hurts us, but is sometimes not at all good for those we are trying to care for. And in the midst of this, we manage to accumulate a spate of resentments and utter weariness, missing out on so much joy. She writes with honestly and humor and love, and I found this book to be a delight to read. I think so many women will see themselves in these essays, and I highly recommend this.
October 7, 2026
How to Be Less Useful: The Joy of Inefficiency was just okay for me.
Priyanka Mattoo spends a lot of the book talking about raising her children and learning how to be a better mother while also giving herself more grace. I do not have children, so a lot of those sections just did not resonate with me personally. There is nothing wrong with that, of course, but it did make parts of the book feel less applicable to my own life.
Overall, I thought the book was fun and had some useful ideas, especially when it came to finding ways to stop overwhelming yourself and letting go of the need to always be productive.
There were definitely a few takeaways I liked, but overall, this one did not really enthrall me. It was an enjoyable enough read, just not one that really stuck with me.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!
Pub Date: 3 Nov 26
Priyanka Mattoo spends a lot of the book talking about raising her children and learning how to be a better mother while also giving herself more grace. I do not have children, so a lot of those sections just did not resonate with me personally. There is nothing wrong with that, of course, but it did make parts of the book feel less applicable to my own life.
Overall, I thought the book was fun and had some useful ideas, especially when it came to finding ways to stop overwhelming yourself and letting go of the need to always be productive.
There were definitely a few takeaways I liked, but overall, this one did not really enthrall me. It was an enjoyable enough read, just not one that really stuck with me.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!
Pub Date: 3 Nov 26
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Many thanks to NetGalley and Knopf for gifting me a digital and physical ARC of this wonderful book of essays by Priyanka Mattoo. All opinions expressed in this review are my own - 4.5 stars!
Some books arrive just when you need them, even if you wish you had them decades ago when you really needed them! This is that book. So much of the author's stories about wanting to swoop in and fix things for people, especially family, and then getting internally upset and frustrated when you have given everything you have just really rang true. Even now, when my kids have long flown the nest, it's still in my nature. But when actively parenting, these messages would have been invaluable. This book is filled with ah ha moments that I marked and plan on revisiting, as well as relatable humor just being a human in these times. Never preachy, just wonderful.
Some books arrive just when you need them, even if you wish you had them decades ago when you really needed them! This is that book. So much of the author's stories about wanting to swoop in and fix things for people, especially family, and then getting internally upset and frustrated when you have given everything you have just really rang true. Even now, when my kids have long flown the nest, it's still in my nature. But when actively parenting, these messages would have been invaluable. This book is filled with ah ha moments that I marked and plan on revisiting, as well as relatable humor just being a human in these times. Never preachy, just wonderful.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This is mostly memoir with some self-help-ness infused. I enjoyed it very much. The author is insightful, hilarious and unassuming. She is aware of her privilege while still imagining what a MORE alive existence could look like for all of us. She is an adoring mother who wants to have more space for her needs. She is a creative that writes to connect her interiority with others. She is delightful, like a big sister, or auntie that is kindly telling you to sit down and take a nap but through story instead of directive. Highly recommend!
Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for the lovely book!
Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for the lovely book!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
A really nice memoir about what it's like to be the eldest daughter in an immigrant family and having to learn boundaries and that it's okay to be less useful. I related very heavily to Priyanka's thoughts and moods; I too have the immense desire to be useful to my friends and family often at determent to my own wellbeing. As I've been told by one of my best friends, it is okay to say no.
I really liked the way the book was formatted as well, in short easy essays that followed an organized path to complete a whole story.
I really liked the way the book was formatted as well, in short easy essays that followed an organized path to complete a whole story.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the chance to read this for a honest review.
A combo of memoir and self help, the author gives life examples of how things are going as the person who always handles everything. From being the person who solves friends (and even non friends) problems, to handling everything for her kids and even her parents, she’s decided things need to change. As someone in similar age range, who is an “eldest daughter” who always does the “right” thing, her stories were very relatable.
A combo of memoir and self help, the author gives life examples of how things are going as the person who always handles everything. From being the person who solves friends (and even non friends) problems, to handling everything for her kids and even her parents, she’s decided things need to change. As someone in similar age range, who is an “eldest daughter” who always does the “right” thing, her stories were very relatable.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
“What if I simply exist?” is my new mantra. This lovely collection of essays resonates with me, especially as someone whose hobbies include ruminating and being helpful. Priyanka Mattoo tackles our relentless urge to be, or appear to be, useful and self-sufficient, challenging our understanding of what joy should feel like. Needless to say, I highlighted the whole book. Extra points to the author for including a bibliography and a further reading list.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
How to Be Less Useful
This self help part memoir had me making notes! The various interweaving stories by our midlife narrator talk about topics such marriage, family, and how we can enjoy more and do less. I can identify with my own family because I, too, do too much!
If you like funny stories and humorous memoirs with a relatable narrator you’d like this one. Thank you to NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon for the eARC. And @christophermetts!!! ❤️❤️
This self help part memoir had me making notes! The various interweaving stories by our midlife narrator talk about topics such marriage, family, and how we can enjoy more and do less. I can identify with my own family because I, too, do too much!
If you like funny stories and humorous memoirs with a relatable narrator you’d like this one. Thank you to NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon for the eARC. And @christophermetts!!! ❤️❤️
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I really enjoyed this book! It resonated with me and my life so scarily that I just kept nodding my head while trading! I’m 35, so between 30-40 and definitely have felt all of this! Being a spouse, parent, friend and coworker. All the demands that life has on us. Deciding what is worth it versus what isn’t. What to spend my time and energy on now that would have been a no brainer 15 years ago. Great perspective!
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Thank you to Knopf for the advanced reading copy of this book.
Mattoo captured my attention with her opening lines to each chapter. She’s a gifted writer, and this was a fairly easy read.
I loved her statement, “I have done everything right, and I have missed everything.” I really wish that, in the latter half of the book, she explored more about the “how” to not miss so much.
In opposition to the title, this didn’t read like a how-to guide. It was not self-help at all, in my opinion. It’s more of a collection of (incredibly well-written) essays about Mattoo’s life, some of which felt like diary entries. A handful of chapters were quite separate from the overall theme of being “less useful”, but I enjoyed it all.
Mattoo captured my attention with her opening lines to each chapter. She’s a gifted writer, and this was a fairly easy read.
I loved her statement, “I have done everything right, and I have missed everything.” I really wish that, in the latter half of the book, she explored more about the “how” to not miss so much.
In opposition to the title, this didn’t read like a how-to guide. It was not self-help at all, in my opinion. It’s more of a collection of (incredibly well-written) essays about Mattoo’s life, some of which felt like diary entries. A handful of chapters were quite separate from the overall theme of being “less useful”, but I enjoyed it all.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Funny, thought provoking, and unapologetic. Mattoo had me thinking throughout about the every day tasks that rule my life and pondering if they're all necessary.
August 24, 2026
Women in their mid-30’s, early 40’s are going to see themselves on every page of this well written memoir.
May 28, 2026
These collections of essays are good. It’s a combination of life, humor, lessons, and other things. The book also shows something more invaluable.
Want to Read
July 15, 2026Been trying to learn this for a while.
Review of advance copy received from Author
This is the second book I’ve read of Priyanka’s and she just keeps getting better. They’re so entertaining and delightful.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews