Love Me, Love My Monster

by Floyd Jones

Dating can be murder — literally!

Dr. Anthony "Tony" Hinch, a brilliant but lonely scientist, lost his wife a few years ago and now is ready to dip his toe back into the dating pool. There's just one minor problem: his most ambitious creation — a hulking, grotesque monster who lives in his basement — keeps killing off his dates.

Meanwhile, deep in the bowels of the Philadelphia Institute of Scientific Advancement, janitor Alan Cooper dreams of escaping his mop and bucket and making it to the big time as a stand-up comedian. Unfortunately, his path to comedic glory is blocked by a corrupt union boss (and his inability to remember his jokes.)

As Dr. Hinch's dating life spirals out of control and Alan's comedic aspirations face sabotage, their lives unexpectedly intertwine. Can Dr. Hinch control his monstrous creation, find love, and help Alan achieve his dreams? Or will the monster and the union goons succeed in keeping them both down?

165 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 4, 2026

About the author

Floyd Jones hails from Marion, Ohio. He is a graduate of Glassboro State College (which later renamed itself “Rowan University” in an effort to distance itself from him.) He is the author of such books as "Love Me, Love My Monster" and is the writer/director of movies such as "Bum Man — Hero of the Homeless." He currently resides in Parts Unknown.

Reviews

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book in return for a review.

"Love Me, Love My Monstor" is a humorous novel in the science fiction genre which intertwines a few stories. The main story is about a scientist who runs a lab dedicated to creating new, mostly quirky, inventions. Think ignoble prize type inventions. In the basement of his home he keeps a creature he's created, in a vaguely Frankensteinish manner. The creature is able to discern whether individuals it meets have a good or bad nature, and deals with them appropriately. There's a subplot about a janitor who works in the offices of the scientist's company. This individual strives to be a stand up comedian, but has the unfortunate problem of losing his memory when on stage. He's also having a problem with the union he doesn't want to join in his employment as a janitor. Overall, this is an entertaining story which can be read in an hour or two.

[Rita · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very cute short book about a group of scientists who like to "invent" things. Dr. Tony Hinch developed a "monster" who was very discerning about his dates and associates. Also part of this story is the caretaker/janitor of the building where the scientists work who aspires to be a comedian, but has a problem remembering his jokes. Several interesting ladies make their way through the pages of this chaotic and funny book. Note: This book was written by my son, and I downgraded my stars for this reason. It's really good for a first book.

[Cindy Davis · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is the most ridiculous book I’ve ever read. I think the author missed a few tropes. He clearly used conspiracy information as his research. My eye sockets are sore from rolling them so much. Yikes! At least it is short.

[Andy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Loved the premise but the writing style was frustrating for me.
Too many characters you don’t care about

[Tod Roberts · Rating 1 out of 5]

Rambling garbage

On and on waxed the suedo-intelectual parrot. On and on and on. If there was a point to all of this...

[Sukhdave Takhar]

I won a ebook of this never received but yet keep getting told to review it so here it is "...................."

[Deborah Wambsganss · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is absolute garbage. Don't waste your time. The book's description makes it seem endearing. It isn't. It's just a bunch of bigoted ramblings and lukewarm flat philosophical ravings.

[Margit]

DNF

This story is all over the place, jumping from characters to characters, storyline to storyline. I have no idea what the book is about.