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616 pages, Kindle Edition
Expected publication September 1, 2026
Sometimes I try to picture that year had the play been a success. It leaves me confused. I don't know what success would have meant anyway. What nobody tells you about tragedy is that it Lowers your expectations of people and yourself. Lose your toes and success means still having a f-ing foot. So, success became a rehearsal that did not leave a body count, a reading that did not leave one with his eyes gouged out. I don't know if failure is something that never succeeded or was never tried. Maybe a woman mourns an abortion the same way one does a stillbirth. Somebody out there is saying that communism never failed because it was never tried. I only say that because that is how I feel about this play. Fortune and Men's Eyes. It never had the chance to become a failure so instead it became a ghost. You wouldn't know this but in the Caribbean the stillbirth becomes a peculiar spirit, menacing because it is so innocent. It never grows old enough to know that it shouldn't wail in the early morning like some hacksaw jagging and cutting through the darkness. Like somebody had cut its throat. The only thing a ghost can do is haunt you.
Of all the f-dup things happening in the world to us, you think that is the thing to not make me sleep at night. No, it wasn't a question. I'm trying to find two gay men who just gone poof when battymen vanishing all around us. That is what AIDS is after all, isn't it? One long set of disappearing acts. First is watching the friends and family disappeal. Second act is when people try to disappear you. Third act is watching your body vanish from itself and wondering where the f- you going, piece by piece, until all of you gone. I swear to God, at one point I used to think people with AIDS just evaporate. If there is a fourth act it's when everybody erase your name as if you were never born in the first place