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Why Am I Like This?: Break Your Relationship Patterns and Create the Life You Want
From the popular dating and relationship coach and host of The Sabrina Zohar Show comes a no-BS roadmap to rewriting the patterns that are hijacking your love life—so you can finally create the love you deserve.
Why does one text send me spiraling for days? Why do I apologize even when it's not my fault? Why do I need everyone to like me?
Why am I like this?
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. These frustrating patterns of people-pleasing, questioning your worth, avoidance, or reactivity—what Sabrina Zohar calls your Bullshit Blueprint—are actually survival strategies your body learned to keep you safe. But as she reveals, they're also keeping you from the things you truly want.
With her signature unfiltered advice rooted in psychology, neuroscience, and nervous system work, Why Am I Like This? shows you how to create a new, BS-free blueprint for love and life, one based on self-trust and conscious choice instead of outdated patterns of behavior.
But you can’t dismantle what you don’t understand. Sharing stories from her coaching work and own, raw journey of unraveling and rebuilding, Sabrina walks you step-by-step through the process of rewiring the unconscious programming that’s keeping you stuck,
How your attachment style, childhood wounds, and core beliefs form your unique Bullshit BlueprintThe four survival responses and how they secretly drive your behaviorHow to break the toxic cycles of feeling “too much,” “not enough,” or impossible to loveWhy the dating myths we’ve been taught are actually making us reject people who could be good for usPractical tools to regulate your emotions, set boundaries, and finally choose yourself
Sabrina doesn’t just give you tools, she gives it to you You don’t have to keep abandoning yourself. You can stop repeating the past and start showing up more authentically and consciously in your relationships. Watch how that changes everything.
* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF containing the Your Blueprint Reference Guide and The Workbook Before The Work from the book.
Why does one text send me spiraling for days? Why do I apologize even when it's not my fault? Why do I need everyone to like me?
Why am I like this?
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. These frustrating patterns of people-pleasing, questioning your worth, avoidance, or reactivity—what Sabrina Zohar calls your Bullshit Blueprint—are actually survival strategies your body learned to keep you safe. But as she reveals, they're also keeping you from the things you truly want.
With her signature unfiltered advice rooted in psychology, neuroscience, and nervous system work, Why Am I Like This? shows you how to create a new, BS-free blueprint for love and life, one based on self-trust and conscious choice instead of outdated patterns of behavior.
But you can’t dismantle what you don’t understand. Sharing stories from her coaching work and own, raw journey of unraveling and rebuilding, Sabrina walks you step-by-step through the process of rewiring the unconscious programming that’s keeping you stuck,
How your attachment style, childhood wounds, and core beliefs form your unique Bullshit BlueprintThe four survival responses and how they secretly drive your behaviorHow to break the toxic cycles of feeling “too much,” “not enough,” or impossible to loveWhy the dating myths we’ve been taught are actually making us reject people who could be good for usPractical tools to regulate your emotions, set boundaries, and finally choose yourself
Sabrina doesn’t just give you tools, she gives it to you You don’t have to keep abandoning yourself. You can stop repeating the past and start showing up more authentically and consciously in your relationships. Watch how that changes everything.
* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF containing the Your Blueprint Reference Guide and The Workbook Before The Work from the book.
Audible Audio
Published October 13, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
August 25, 2026
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I think I may be reading the same self help books just written by different people. If you have never read a self help book about how childhood trauma programs you to be the adult you are and how to break those patterns and help heal yourself… this book could be for you. I would say this could be a good starting off point to a healing journey - but - there are better books for this.
This book was not for me. The writing style completely tore me out of the book to where I just could not focus. I’m not a prude and swearing doesn’t bother me - but when it seems like it’s being inserted more as a token to be edgy than being appropriate, I get annoyed. It became more of a game - to find how many per paragraph - because there’s got to be at least one! It discredited the value of the information.
I then looked up Sabrina Zohar and I realized all of this book should be taken with a grain of salt. She studied fashion design not psychology. She has a podcast not a practice. I’m not saying that what she has to say isn’t important - because she does outline the why and where to now… AND DAMN if she had not been through A LOT to be a personal expert on unhealthy relationships - I just… I wouldn’t recommend this book over a credited author.
I think I may be reading the same self help books just written by different people. If you have never read a self help book about how childhood trauma programs you to be the adult you are and how to break those patterns and help heal yourself… this book could be for you. I would say this could be a good starting off point to a healing journey - but - there are better books for this.
This book was not for me. The writing style completely tore me out of the book to where I just could not focus. I’m not a prude and swearing doesn’t bother me - but when it seems like it’s being inserted more as a token to be edgy than being appropriate, I get annoyed. It became more of a game - to find how many per paragraph - because there’s got to be at least one! It discredited the value of the information.
I then looked up Sabrina Zohar and I realized all of this book should be taken with a grain of salt. She studied fashion design not psychology. She has a podcast not a practice. I’m not saying that what she has to say isn’t important - because she does outline the why and where to now… AND DAMN if she had not been through A LOT to be a personal expert on unhealthy relationships - I just… I wouldn’t recommend this book over a credited author.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This is such a thoughtful, refreshing read for anyone who loves understanding the psychology behind how we love, react, attach, and move through relationships.
Sabrina has a way of making you feel seen without making you feel analyzed. She’s honest, funny, warm, and really good at putting language to patterns you may already recognize in yourself but have never fully understood.
What I loved most is that the book is compassionate without letting you off the hook. It helps you understand where certain behaviors come from, while also showing you that you can choose differently. That balance made it feel both comforting and genuinely useful.
I found myself highlighting constantly and thinking of friends I wanted to send certain passages to. The whole thing is annotated and that’s very rare for me. It’s the kind of book that gives you better language for yourself, your relationships, and the patterns you’re ready to outgrow. I gave to a friend I know would need it and she’s called me twice to talk over a few breakthroughs she’s had since starting it. Happy I was able to get an advanced copy.
Sabrina has a way of making you feel seen without making you feel analyzed. She’s honest, funny, warm, and really good at putting language to patterns you may already recognize in yourself but have never fully understood.
What I loved most is that the book is compassionate without letting you off the hook. It helps you understand where certain behaviors come from, while also showing you that you can choose differently. That balance made it feel both comforting and genuinely useful.
I found myself highlighting constantly and thinking of friends I wanted to send certain passages to. The whole thing is annotated and that’s very rare for me. It’s the kind of book that gives you better language for yourself, your relationships, and the patterns you’re ready to outgrow. I gave to a friend I know would need it and she’s called me twice to talk over a few breakthroughs she’s had since starting it. Happy I was able to get an advanced copy.
October 13, 2026
thanks to netgalley and the publishers for an ARC
i feel like self-help books are kind of like winter hats: one size fits all
this one is full of no-BS information, told to you straight, which i appreciate, and feel like i need to grow as a person. i've watched and listened to some of her podcast, the sabrina zohar show, and they definitely fit that no-BS model; in fact, this book feels like stepping into her podcast, which is kind of nice. i love that it is so hyper-focused on relationships, self-sabotaging dating habits, and the emotional patterns within them, but i also feel like it repeats the same information in a different format because of that, i mean, i felt that way on the fourth page
overall, i liked it a lot, and it's good information, great content, and well backed up. i do, however, think i've seen this film before. a good rule of thumb for me is not to read too many books in the same genre at once, and maybe that's what happened here; take that with a grain of salt
i feel like self-help books are kind of like winter hats: one size fits all
this one is full of no-BS information, told to you straight, which i appreciate, and feel like i need to grow as a person. i've watched and listened to some of her podcast, the sabrina zohar show, and they definitely fit that no-BS model; in fact, this book feels like stepping into her podcast, which is kind of nice. i love that it is so hyper-focused on relationships, self-sabotaging dating habits, and the emotional patterns within them, but i also feel like it repeats the same information in a different format because of that, i mean, i felt that way on the fourth page
overall, i liked it a lot, and it's good information, great content, and well backed up. i do, however, think i've seen this film before. a good rule of thumb for me is not to read too many books in the same genre at once, and maybe that's what happened here; take that with a grain of salt
October 13, 2026
This book is absolutely incredible. It’s raw, real, relatable, and so deeply validating. Sabrina has such a gift for breaking down the patterns we get stuck in and helping you understand what’s actually going on beneath the surface. Not just what you’re doing, but why you’re doing it and where it came from.
What I loved most is that she doesn’t just name the patterns and leave you there. She helps you understand how so many of the behaviors we beat ourselves up for were actually ways we learned to protect ourselves, and then gives you practical tools to actually change them, regulate yourself, set better boundaries, and build real self-trust. You will feel SO seen reading this book. But more importantly, you’ll walk away understanding yourself better and knowing what to actually do differently. Cannot recommend it enough.
What I loved most is that she doesn’t just name the patterns and leave you there. She helps you understand how so many of the behaviors we beat ourselves up for were actually ways we learned to protect ourselves, and then gives you practical tools to actually change them, regulate yourself, set better boundaries, and build real self-trust. You will feel SO seen reading this book. But more importantly, you’ll walk away understanding yourself better and knowing what to actually do differently. Cannot recommend it enough.
October 24, 2026
Immersive Read 🎧📚. Both the book and audiobook are really great. I have been following the author on TikTok for some time. Her advice always hits home and the book is no different. You will do reflective work on yourself. I did recognize some of her ideas in my self but there were times I got lost not sure on how to answer the thought provoking questions being asked. It deserves a reread and a notebook to write down ideas and thoughts, if you are to really grasp some of the necessary changes you want for yourself. All in all it was very informative book with plenty food for thought.
July 29, 2026
If you feel extremely lost and confused about why your dating life is a mess, this is your book.
Sabrina always makes it sound like not only she’s a friend talking to you but also not alone in the work.
I loved how she broke all the most common issues people experience in dating from root to solution and with her signature humorous flare.
Highly recommend
Sabrina always makes it sound like not only she’s a friend talking to you but also not alone in the work.
I loved how she broke all the most common issues people experience in dating from root to solution and with her signature humorous flare.
Highly recommend
October 28, 2026
Just wow! What a simple self-explanatory way to heal and so approachable. Most self-help books lack the human emotion and feel robotic. Not this book. The author feels like a friend giving you advice, more like just talking to you. I absolutely loved this book and will hold its contents with me for a long time and that is what books are meant to do.
October 13, 2026
An interesting and useful audiobook about how to have better relationships. I feel that this advice applies equally to friendships and family relationships as well as romantic relationships. Thought provoking and worth a listen. I will be recommending this one widely.
October 25, 2026
Unfortunately I won't be finishing this book. It reads like swathes of it were written by ChatGPT. I wanted so much to enjoy what this book had to say, but the delivery of information felt so condescending and robotic.
And that? That lost me. (/s)
And that? That lost me. (/s)
October 13, 2026
Such a powerful combination of personal story and tangible ways to change your life. What a wonderful addition to the sea of sameness in the self help world, a true authentic voice
October 20, 2026
Beautiful.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews