Don’t Stand Under the Coconut Tree

by William P. Wood

Famous comic Lonny Day is having a spectacularly bad day himself. The President he imitates so hilariously has been assassinated in Dallas. Suddenly, Lonny’s world falls apart. His beloved wife Doris blames him and runs off. His Las Vegas casino Mob boss kicks him out. He’s beaten to a pulp by angry valets. Nursed back to health by his friend, a former rodeo queen at an animal hospital run by a sinister vet, he vows to find Doris.

On his wild journey across the country he runs into a nutty parade, an old man who claims to be able to arouse women sexually by telepathy, a ventriloquist and his dummy who may be murderer, and wacky twins, possibly from outer space. He finally finds Doris captive of a cult at the luxurious Maui resort run by a fanatical billionaire who is trying to live forever. Lonny and Doris have to escape before it’s too late.

”Don’t Stand Under the Coconut Tree” is Robin Williams crashing headlong into Carl Hiaasen, sideswiped by Don Quixote.

Kindle Edition

Published February 7, 2026

About the author

WILLIAM P. WOOD is the author of nine thrillers and one nonfiction book. As a deputy district attorney in California, he handled thousands of criminal cases ranging from disturbing the peace to murder. He served as chief counsel to the Secretary of State of California, the Commissioner of the California Department of Corporations, and the Undersecretary of the Office of Secretary of State.

Wood's literary works include "Rampage" (1985), "Gangland" (1988), Fugitive City (1989), "Court of Honor" (1991), "Stay of Execution" (1994), "Quicksand" (1998), "Pressure Point" (2004), and "The Bribe" (2006). His latest book is "Sudden Impact."

A nonfiction book, "The Bone Garden" (1994), is the definitive account of serial killer Dorothea Puente, who was the subject of a nationwide hunt after nine bodies were dug up from her Sacramento, California yard. Wood earlier sent Puente to prison for drugging and robbing the elderly.

Many of Wood's novels have been optioned for film/TV and two were produced. The first, "Rampage" was directed by Academy Award-winner William Friedkin ("The French Connection" and "The Exorcist"). "Court of Honor" was adapted into the TV-movie "Broken Trust" by Jane Fonda Films, starring Tom Selleck and Elizabeth McGovern. The screenplay was written by Joan Didion and her husband John Gregory Dunne.

Upon the release of "Sudden Impact" many of Wood's previous and acclaimed titles will be released in paperback during 2014.

Caliban’s Flight (Willowbank Books), an international suspense thriller is his latest novel. Turner Publishing has reissued all of Wood’s earlier works in paperback and as audible books. He currently lives in Sacramento, California, where he is working on his next novel. He is a member of the International Thriller Writers and Mystery Writers of America.