Meg may have escaped her captor, but recovery will be the true test of her survival.
Returning to Hollowbrook Academy months after her sudden disappearance, Meg is thrust into the spotlight in a way she’s not used to. Cruel whispers spread about the former award-winning lacrosse captain, headlines pining her as a lost cause.
Thanks to the gossip trailing her across campus, Meg wants nothing more than to blend into the background. Her classes turn into interrogations, nightmares bleed into daylight, and old threats begin to stir from the shadows.
However, upon discovering her team has been hijacked by her old rival, Everest Calloway, the fire within her roars back to life. She might not want to be seen, but there’s a stronger impulse that won’t be ignored. She can’t let him win, even if she’s sleep deprived thanks to a certain asshole next door who keeps her up at night with his bad taste in music.
Luckily, she’s not completely alone. With her cyber hacking friend, Thiago, watching her back, as well as all of the campus cameras, Meg slowly begins to find herself again. She lives for the rivalry, whilst Everest thrives on control. Going head-to-head with Golden Boy is going to take all of her energy, but that’s the least of her problems.
With her captor still at large, Meg is forced to confront a terrifying truth. Surviving doesn’t mean she’s safe. And the men circling her? They don’t want to protect her. They want to ruin her.
*This dark academy romance is a Spin-Off from the Shadowed Souls series. For your enjoyment, you might want to binge that completed series before diving into Meg's world, filled with rivalry, obsession, and slow-burning devotion. Amongst these three men, loyalty is dangerous, and love may be the most reckless pledge of all.*
Maddison Cole is a Why Choose Dark Romance Author hailing from the south east of the UK. She is a creative through and through, whether the medium is pencil, paint, wool or words.
In her books, you'll find a heavy dose of dark humour, men with filthy mouths, shocking twists, an abundance of spice and always a feisty female lead. When not writing, you can find Maddison hiding from her two children, two cats and husband with a dirty book and a naughty dessert.
Want to know where to start? To dip your toe in the water, try Beautiful Delusions, a spicy standalone with three brothers and a happily ever after. For a completed trilogy that will take your heart and run away with it, The Shadowed Souls series is sitting pretty and waiting. Stepbro, stalkers, twists and a basketball team of pure filth and fun. The ideal binge for a reverse harem lover!
This was good. I found myself enjoying it, but I still felt like there were some things that missed it for me.
I enjoyed the way Maddison explored and dove into Meg's trauma and also in the dynamics with the three men in her life. I loved the atmosphere, the dynamics and the competitivity. Gods, Meg is such a badass and I really really liked her.
I liked the 3 MMCs and how different they were, but how protective and devoted they were with Meg. Gurrrrrrrrl, I don't know if I want to be you or with you, lmao.
And also, the cliffhanger? Miss Cole, I am banging at your door begging you for the second book asap.
The spice scenes were good, not my favorite at some point, but they were good.
I do think that the writing style wasn't my favorite, butttttt, it picked up at some times. Maybe that's what didn't click for me? We'll see because I'm going to need book 2 as for yesterday.
⌗ ──🥍🍋🟩🐈⬛ᝰ .ᐟ pre-read. dark academy x enemies to lovers x why choose? I'M SOLDDDDDDDDDD
thanks love notes for an arc in exchange of an honest review!
Thank you to Smuthood and Maddison Cole for the ARC!
This book was dark, entertaining, and kept me hooked from start to finish. make sure you check your trigger warnings before diving in. the story basically centres around the FMC’s trauma and her dynamics with the multiple MMCs, each are possessive and obsessed with her. the spice is 👌 and the FMC is unapologetic about it which i’m not mad about , cos really.. why choose 😬. the plot is a bit slow but the character dynamics kept me engaged throughout. the final stretch of the book hits and im left feeling a bit baffled, confused and full of questions haha like wtf just happened!! i need book two now!! overall i had a good time reading this.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This was a wild, addictive ride that I could not put down.
Watching Meg fight to reclaim her identity and fire after such a traumatic past is both raw and deeply empowering. The story creates an addictive, high-stakes atmosphere where the lacrosse rivalry and the complex bonds with the men in her life keep you completely hooked on every single word.
The dynamic between Meg and her three very different men is truly fascinating. Everest brings a sharp, arrogant challenge that pushes her competitive spirit, while Thiago acts as her devoted, protective digital anchor. Then there is the brooding, mysterious Reid, whose presence adds a layer of intrigue that I am desperate to understand better. Their messy, possessive, and genuinely caring interactions make for a compelling why-choose romance that feels both dangerous and surprisingly healing.
I I honestly thought I had everything figured out, but that final cliffhanger was a brilliant maneuver that left me absolutely floored. It was such a shocking twist that I am still internally screaming at myself for missing the subtle clues. This was such a solid, satisfying experience that left me eager for more.
If you need me, I will be impatiently waiting for the sequel to drop.
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Huge thank you to Maddison Cole and The Smuthood for the ARC! 😍 All my bookish thoughts are completely my own. ✨
I went into Hollowbrook Academy blind as a mf. I didn't know who Meg was, what her backstory was, who anyone was, what had happened, or the like. But I was hooked from the very first swipe of the Kindle page, and then I ate this book down. D E V O U R E D it!
Meg was absolutely a badass and I loved her character. She grew so much from beginning to end of the book, but my god girl... sometimes the situational awareness isn't where it needs to be with whom it needs to be.
Thiago was the biggest teddy bear and such a great MMC. Everest was...... something else.... but I'd get on my knees and bark for him. Then there is Reid. Reid is the mysterious loner I was rooting for, but there was just something "off" about him that I couldn't quite put my fingertips on. I was right too but then I was probably also wrong too because the plot twist AND cliffhanger had me fucked all the way up.
I'm counting down the days until book 2 releases!!!!
This book isn't bad, but I just couldn't really get into the story that I became invested in the characters/story. I can't pinpoint an exact reason so maybe the author's writing style is not for me. But here are some things I liked and did not like. 1) This story while I knew it was a spinoff of a series I did not realize it was recommended to read the other series for a fuller picture of these characters. That being said while I agree there were moments where it could have shed more light on certain background facts, I don't think it's completely necessary bc I do think the author did a great job at the start giving you an opening scene that I assume came from the other series so it really did set you up to understand these characters and their situation. So, I never felt like I dropped off in the middle of a story or was missing necessary information to the story. 2) when it comes to the characters I liked Meg. She is someone who is dealing with a lot of bullshit just trying to find her new normal and find herself after her world had shattered and honestly the people around her including her therapist's suck. Her art teacher did a better job of helping her express herself and feel heard when it came to her feelings than trained professions. Now this is a why choose with 3 male partners. First is Thiago a hacker recluse who I liked he definitely game Meg a soft place to land and help take care of her. Very much a green flag and I liked him. But when it comes to the other two well first let's get Reid out of the way. He is fine and he has relevant parts to the story but even then, it felt like he was a side character for the most part bc we don't know anything about him. So, for me I wasn't invested in him. Now Everest I didn't like him bc it was always about him and his plans and what he thought was best and at times he could be an unnecessary dick. Like one time he had essentially blamed Meg for her own kidnapping thinking that if she had been more aware she wouldn't have been taken. I am sorry but you can be super aware of your surroundings but if a man showed up with a gun my inability to get away safely does not make that my fault nor does the subsequent beating and kidnapping. He also then manipulates her telling her first to take back her power and confront her kidnapper after they track his ass down and when she says no and they should go to the cops he uses the fact another girl was kidnapped by the same man saying she knows what the girl is going through and how could she not do something to help her and get her back. I am sorry it is not the barely holding it together traumatized girls' job to go on some Scooby doo rescue mission with another unprepared college kid when they have the capabilities to get the cops involved. All it does it risk Meg being retraumatized which guess what it does. So was not really a fan of him. 3) The story was okay, but I can't pinpoint why I wasn't absorbed by it. Now it is a sports romance with the sport being Lacrosse which is cool, but I know absolutely nothing about the sport so I can't attest to the accuracy, but it seemed a bit repetitive using the same terms and words/movements. But I don't read sports romances for the accuracy. Now I will say there is a big reveal at the end that I did not see coming but while it makes me a little curious about how it plays out in the next book, I honestly don't know if I will read the next book.
Overall, it was an okay book, and I can't say why it wasn't for me as it has the hallmarks of things I love but not every book is for every reader.
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This story is about Meg who has returned back to Hollowbrook Academy trying to reclaim her life after surviving her kidnapping. Her kidnapper is still at large but she is done letting him control her. But while she knew it would be hard especially after everyone in her life abandoned her, but she next expected to be thrust in the spotlight and to have cruel whispers and taunts following her. But the worst thing about being back on campus is finding out the girl's lacrosse team that she captained into champions has been hijacked by her old rival boy's lacrosse captain Everest whose failing team is now being merged with the girls' team, and he is running it into the ground. As much as she wants to fade into the background that is not who she is and she can't let him ruin everything she built. The problem is she is so sleep deprived due to nightmares and the all-night wall shaking music the asshole next door is playing that she can't form an effective offense against him. Thankfully she is not alone as she has a cyber hacker for a friend who watches her every move providing her support so that she can't start to find herself and get things back to normal even if she still has to deal with golden boy Everest and his control issues. But just because she is surviving doesn't mean she is healed or safe especially with her kidnapper at large but with all these men circling her she isn't sure if they are truly to lift her up or if some are trying to drag her down.
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
*Why Choose *Contemporary *Multi-1st-PoV *Academy Setting *FMC with trauma *Friends to lovers *Enemies to lovers *Building Harem (3?) *MM scene *Mid Burn *Book 1 / 3? There is a lot to unpack in this first book of the series! Meg (Avery’s twin) is coming to terms with going back to college after her kidnapping and trauma at the hands of Harrison. She’s an absolute fighter and is determined to figure out who she now - she is closed off and definitely a barks first kind of person trying to hide the emotions underneath. The men circling around her are certainly different characters… Thiago is honestly the best support Meg could have and he is head over heels for the girls - the things he does for her are seriously heart melting, he does have some talker tendencies (swoon) but it is only to ensure his girl is cared for and he’s there when needed :D Everest is a tricky fellow - it’s clear they have sexual tension and he is happy to be the villain in her story if it bings back her tenacious and fiery personality that he craves - in his own way it is sweet? However that’s undermined by the clear secrets he is keeping! Then there is Reid who honestly cannot get a read on yet…but he is definitely up to something that only gets one as the story progresses; yet he does provide a solace for Meg so who knows what he’s up too! I did find at times I almost stalled reading it and it dragged a little before the next ‘element’. The relationships building and their character arcs are definitely what drives this story and I’m intrigued to find out the secrets especially after that bomb of an ending!
This book leaves you with a whole lot of wtf and omg I need more! Rival's Pledge is book 1 of the Hollowbrook Academy series. While this series can be started here in book 1, Meg's journey actually begins in the Shadowed Souls series. It isn't necessary to read the previous series since this book gives a glimpse into the past so you are caught up on everything but if you want to start at the beginning you can.
This book is about healing after trauma, trusting again, and finding out who you are in the after.
Meg returns to school after a year of being away only to return to a world she no longer recognizes. She doesn't know where she belongs or who she is on campus anymore. She is forced to co-captain the lacrosse team with her rival which leads to sparring and sparks. Her next door neighbor is driving her crazy and not in a good way yet there is still something about him. And her rescuer turned st@lker is the one person she trusts with everything including her heart.
This story will take you around all of the emotions and leave you with your jaw on the floor and desperate for the next book in the series.
Welcome back to Hollowbrook Academy and my oh my what was I excited to start the journey of Meg! Since the first series I knew there was more about Meg and finally we dive right into her space and mind.
I loved being back at Hollowbrook, this time we follow Meg and her turning back to school and lacrosse. But nothing is as it was the way when she left and she is not sure if coming back was the right thing to do.
Let me tell you I devoured the book in a couple of reading hours, I was hooked from start to finish and after the ending. I want book 2 asap!! The tension, the romance, the rivalry. I am here for it!
We have multiple romance lovers 😏 (love a good why choose!) and I love how they all try to bring the best out of Meg. Everest testing her at all moments possible, Thiago is so sweet and lovable! And there is Reid, I hope we get to know him much better in the next book!
Maddison Cole thank you so much for this ARC to read and review
This was an amazingly dark romance with why choose, and a great LaCrosse setting. Loved Meg. She was strong. Determined to with through her trauma. She wasn’t going to meet Everett beat her. And then there was Thiago, an absolute doll of a guy that wanted to be more than just friends with her. This story was a rollercoaster ride if dark twists and turns. It was so hot, so intriguing, and I couldn’t stop turning the pages with this one. D. E. V. O. U. R. E. D this so fast! I need what comes next last week.
Obsessed to the max with this one. I loved Meg so much, I loved watching her try to heal and take her life back. Thiago was such a great MMC to include I loved his obsession with Meg and the way he always did everything for her and accepted her. Everest was such a conundrum, very sketchy and I was definitely right in sensing that from the start with how things went. Reid was the one character I couldn’t get off my mind the entire book, highly suspicious for me and definitely left lots of questions for me. The plot twists were huge and perspective.
This book has a great start to the series but it honestly didn’t hit the mark for me. One of the aspects of this book that I really appreciated was how the characters were introduced and the plot behind each character whether it was there or not was fully intentional and added to the anticipation of what was going to happen later on! I also really loved reading about how Meg is overcoming a traumatic experience and becoming who she is afterwards. She is so incredibly strong and brave to be unapologetically her even when everyone around her is judging her for it.
The only part of this book that took me out of it a bit was the pacing. It just felt a little slow to get to the exciting parts and it just made it feel never ending. If pacing isn’t something that bothers you then I would 100% recommend trying this book because it is really well written! It’s just not meant for me.
You know that feeling when you finish a book and just... stare at the wall because your brain refuses to accept that it's over?
Yeah. That was me.
No thoughts. No peace. Just me whispering, "WHAT?!" at the final page while questioning every life choice that led me to reading this before the sequel existed.
Meg's story isn't about surviving, instead it's about what happens after survival, and honestly, I don't think enough books capture that kind of emotional damage the way this one does.
Escaping is one thing but walking back into the same world that now looks at you differently is something else entirely. Instead of finding comfort after everything she'd endured, she had to carry the weight of everyone else's opinions while trying to convince herself she could still exist in the life she once knew.
And that hit hard.
Meg drove me absolutely insane at times. She jumped to conclusions. She dug her heels in. She made decisions that had me wanting to reach through the pages and shake her.
...And I loved every second of it.
She isn't polished or written to be effortlessly likable. She's messy. She's traumatized. She's defensive. She's loud when she wants to be and completely broken when she doesn't. Every flaw made her feel more human because healing isn't pretty. It isn't linear. She reacts before she thinks. She pushes people away. She fights battles that don't always need fighting. Yet somehow, every frustrating decision made perfect emotional sense.
That is what made her unforgettable.
Now let's talk about the men because... excuse me while I collect myself.
Thiago.
Every woman deserves someone who understands them before they even find the words themselves.
He wasn't trying to fix Meg. He simply... saw her.
After everything she'd survived, he gave her something she hadn't been allowed to have in a very long time.
Safety.
Not just physical safety. Emotional safety. Watching her slowly lower the walls she'd built around herself with him was one of my favorite parts of the entire book. There was such a quiet intimacy between them. He knew exactly when she needed comfort, when she needed space, and when she simply needed someone to stand beside her without asking for anything in return.
The trust that grew between them felt earned, and seeing Meg finally let herself breathe around him absolutely melted me.
Then there's Reid. How do you manage to make someone so mysterious while barely giving us enough to satisfy our curiosity?
Because it worked.
Every time he appeared, I found myself looking for clues any tiny moments or small expressions... half finished conversations. It constantly felt like he was carrying something much heavier than anyone realized, and I never stopped believing there was another story waiting beneath the surface.
By the time I finished, my heart already hurt for a story I haven't even been told yet.
And Everest...
Sir.
You completely wrecked me.
On the surface he's confidence, control, and competition. But every crack beneath that perfect image slowly starts showing, and suddenly you realize he's fighting battles of his own. Watching him struggle through his anxiety while trying so desperately to keep everything together broke something inside me. The rivalry between him and Meg was electric because neither of them realized how similar they actually were.
Both were hurting. Both were trying to maintain control over lives that had already spun far beyond it.
Every interaction between them carried so much tension that I couldn't look away.
The atmosphere throughout this book constantly kept me on edge. Even when Meg tried reclaiming pieces of her old life, there was always that lingering feeling that danger hadn't disappeared. It was simply waiting. That constant sense that someone was always watching, that old nightmares hadn't truly stayed in the past, created this layer of anxiety that never let me settle into comfort.
I loved that. It kept my heart racing the entire time. And then...
THAT ENDING.
I don't even know how to describe what happened without screaming.
One chapter I was thinking, "Okay... maybe we're finally getting somewhere."
The next?
My soul left my body.
I actually had to put my Kindle down and question everything because there is absolutely no way the author looked at that ending and thought, "Yeah... that's a perfectly reasonable place to stop."
Respectfully... No.
I demand emotional compensation.
This book completely consumed me. It frustrated me. It hurt me. It made me laugh, stress, hope, panic, and then completely shattered every ounce of emotional stability I had left by the final pages.
Now I'm sitting here needing answers that I don't have, wondering how any of these characters are supposed to come back from what just happened.
Wow where to start? Firstly if your new to Maddison then you won’t be disappointed with this college based sports why choose. She will draw you in instantly and hits hard at emotions!
The plot is fast paced at first but the flow soon evens out and it makes sense why it’s so fast paced by chapter 10. You need that information to get your brain ticking as to why certain characters are the way they are.
Characters - FMC is Meg who is a survivor of a very traumatic event. Following a stint in the psych ward she’s out in the world again and that means returning back to college. The college where she was a phenomenal lacrosse player. Only now she’s the one everyone whispers about
MMC - Everest is the typical cocky rich kid with the smirk that you want to wipe off his face. There is more to him which you will see throughout the book especially the control his parents have over everything!! Trust me you want to get to the end for a possible reason why 😉
MMC - Thiago oh Thiago. The Brazilian god who was there for meg carrying her away from her trauma, staying by her side and encouraging her to get back to college. He’s a hacker (can you tell where I’m going?) who hacks into every camera he can to constantly track where Meg is at all times. This also includes hacking her computer webcam but I think she secretly knew and loved it
Important characters but I won’t tell you why- Laura and Reid
We follow Meg as she tries to get her life back and that includes getting her team back from her biggest rival Everest! They get forced to be co captains and Meg is determined to prove everyone wrong - that she can cope and she will and she will bring the team to success. Outside of the team she’s struggling mentally with what happened to her - we don’t get the full details of what she went through just enough to know that whatever it was it’s changed who she is to the core. Nightmares plague her along with the thoughts of not knowing who she is now. She’s lonely and afraid - Harrison her kidnapper is still on the loose! Insteps both Everest and Thiago competing against each other for her affection and Meg can’t seem to fully commit to one.
The biggest wow factor comes from the cliffhanger! This is the juiciest cliffhanger I’ve had the pleasure of reading. You can kinda workout some of it but then Maddison hits you with a massive wham bam thank you mam addition that will have your jaw on the floor! I’m great at guessing the endings but this one had me internally screaming at myself for missing the odd clues. The war with myself over this is just proof of how amazing the writing is.
Maddison captures the scenes beautifully and weaves the characters in and out of the plot like a puppeteer pulling the strings at the perfect moment. Her descriptions draw you in and hold you right there with each character. The flow is designed to capture that tension that has you on tenterhooks. She has set up the perfect ending that has you begging for the next book, the next chapter or just the next page because you need to know.
🙌🏼🙌🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 well done Maddison this book is epic and if I could give it more stars I would! One of the best books I’ve read this year. Roll on to the next instalment
I received an ARC of this book and am leaving my honest, voluntary review.
I have a lot of thoughts about this book. This is a sports romance, but also with elements of romantic suspense, dark romance, and why choose. Our FMC Meg has a major traumatic event that causes her life to be put on hold. She tries to recover and go back to the reality she was living prior and things are very off for her. Her life revolved around lacrosse and a rivalry with Everest, who has taken over her captain role and seems hell bent on making her transition back as difficult as possible. She also has her trusty safety net Thiago, who is her semi-stalker, but also confidant and best friend, who really wants to be more to her. Then her broody, rude next door neighbor Reid, who is as mysterious as he is hot. The men in her sphere and her continued trauma create so much complication and confusion in her life as we move through the story.
First, I think touching on many genres left me a little lost and each fell a bit short. Lacrosse was such a heavy focus for a huge chunk of the book, going so in depth I was a little annoyed, and then that part of the story was mostly abandoned. It left me feeling confused as to the purpose why it was such a focus to begin with. My mystery elements that were included could have had a bigger role and I think the story would have felt more focused. A lot of those things were present only in the last 10-15% of the book so it felt like they came out of nowhere. I would have enjoyed it more if they were sprinkled in throughout so it didn't feel like they came out of left field. Two of the MMCs seemed to have personality changes that also left me confused. Fundamental things about their characters just flipped out of nowhere and I'm not sure why.
Also, the book felt incredibly long. I think cutting down on some of the lacrosse scenes would have made the pace better as they didn't seem to lend all that much to where we ended up in the story. I get including some to possibly illustrate Meg's past and show how she has changed, but outside of a few scenes, most felt unnecessary and made the book drag. The plot "twist" thrown in at the very end made very little sense to me outside of making you want to read a second book. Even though I am curious to see where that thing goes, I don't think I would commit to reading a second in this series as I fear it may have the same problems as this one.
I did enjoy some of the humor, the author was good at giving these characters some good comedic moments. I also did generally like the characters, especially Thiago, even though he seemed like one type of person at the beginning of the book and a totally different person about half way through. The spice was also well done, so those chapters were very enjoyable.
🎓 Dark Academy 🏑 Rival Lacrosse Captains 😈 Enemies to Lovers 🔗 Why Choose MFMM 🖤 Morally Grey MMCs 🖥️ Sexy Cyber Stalker 🖌️ Damaged Artist 👀 Trauma Bonding
So as you’ll probably tell from my previous posts I have been very excited to get my hands on this new story, and let’s say the wait was worth it!🤩
This is a spin off from the Shadowed Souls series, it can be read independently but you will hear the start of Meg’s story in that series, not essential to the story but would recommend reading them first.
There’s suspense, plot twists, spice and everything you could want in a book! I was hooked and absolutely loved Maddison’s writing, she really sets the scene and you can picture it in your mind, and that can be hard to find in books🫶🏼 Maddison definitely was edging us throughout, and you’ll understand what I mean after you read it🤭 but we was left with a cliffhanger, yes that’s right a big cliffhanger IYKYK and I now need the second book asap!!👀
Meg our FMC is a twin that got caught up in collateral damage and was sold out which placed her into her captives arms to keep her twin sister safe. Before this Meg was striving at Hollowbrook, she was the lacrosse, debate and swimming captain, everything was going so well until it wasn’t… After Meg’s trauma dealing, she was emitted to a rehab clinic to try and nurse her mental state back, and she had a choice to stay there or return to Hollowbrook. Going back to Hollowbrook will be a completely different experience this time round with old people removed from her life and new people joining and Meg will have to face a lot of challenges. We have MMC Everest her rival, her enemy who replaced her as the lacrosse captain when she went missing. But now that Meg is back will she get her captain spot back or is she going to have to team up with the enemy and work together..that should go down well right?👀 But even through tough times, we do have Thiago another MMC to help Meg. He saved her from her captive and has been by her side ever since (mainly virtually🖥️.) Thiago’s spirit is intoxicating in the all the right ways and he is so lovable. He is obsessed with Meg and will do anything for her, he’s been her rock since they met. I absolutely loved Thiago!😍 And lastly we have our other MMC Reid our damaged artist. He’s the grumpy, broody and mysterious character, he keeps his cards close to his chest but is very intense. He met Meg in the rehab clinic and now they are neighbours in Hollowbrook Academy, what are the chances🙊 and we haven’t heard enough of what’s to come of Reid yet and I for one cannot wait🤪
These are such diverse characters and the way they are all detailed and described with their different traits is pure perfection🫶🏼
Not all is as it seems through the story though, and everyone is keeping secrets and I mean EVERYONE!👀
I absolutely loved this book, there hasn’t been one book of Maddison’s that I have not liked if anything the more I read the more I need! The characters she creates are unforgettable and the stories always stay with you, and that’s exactly what I need as a reader, and Maddison delivers every single time! Thank you so much for another fab story and amazing new characters🥰
I cannot wait for you all to get your hands on this! Make sure to get your copy to find out, you won’t regret it!🖤
"Meg may have escaped her captor, but recovery will be the true test of her survival."
Some stories aren't about surviving the trauma—they're about surviving what comes after. This one absolutely delivered.
Meg has endured the unimaginable. After months recovering in a rehabilitation facility, she returns to college determined to reclaim pieces of the life that was stolen from her. But healing isn't linear, and she quickly realizes she's no longer the same person she once was. When she discovers her longtime rival, Everest Calloway, is now captain of her lacrosse team, it ignites a determination to fight for her place again.
Everest was such an intriguing character. He's secretive, frustrating, and impossible to fully trust, yet every glimpse behind his walls made me want Meg to choose him. His vulnerability completely changed how I saw him, and I loved watching the enemies-to-lovers tension slowly build.
Then there's Thiago.
Thiago is Meg's calm in the chaos. After helping rescue her from her captor, he remains her constant throughout her recovery, supporting her from afar while she learns how to live again. He's patient, intelligent, protective, and somehow becomes her safest place despite the darkness surrounding them. Obsessed and albeit a little stalkerish… Their connection felt incredibly genuine and gave the story moments of warmth when I needed them most.
Reid and Laura are still complete mysteries to me. Reid especially feels like he's being carefully positioned for something much bigger. While there isn't a romantic relationship between him and Meg in this installment, it's clear he sees through every wall she tries to build. I thought I had his storyline figured out... I couldn't have been more wrong.
And that ending...
I genuinely think my jaw is still on the floor. The cliffhanger completely blindsided me, and I immediately need the next book. I have so many questions, and my heart broke for Meg because I honestly don't know where things go from here.
I have to admit, I'm usually not a why choose reader. But this story won me over with its slow-burning suspense, moments of emotional depth, and focus on Meg reclaiming herself through therapy, self-discovery, and healing. It reads like a dark academia suspense with romance woven throughout—and by the final chapter, I couldn't help but wonder... did Meg really make a choice, or did the discovery at the end make it for her?
What to Expect: 🖤 Dark Academia 🖤 Lacrosse Romance 🖤 Enemies to Lovers 🖤 Why Choose 🖤 Morally Grey MMCs 🖤 Cyber Stalker 🖤 Damaged Artist 🖤 Rival Captain 🖤 Forced Proximity 🖤 Obsession 🖤 Trauma Recovery
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I absolutely devoured this book and I cannot wait for the next one to come out!! I recommend this book to anyone and everyone 10/10 but I suggest reading the series that was released before this one to better understand the FMC in this book. The series before this one had the sister and the sisters harem as the main characters. This sister in this book went through a lot of trauma and there’s definitely some tension between the sisters now because of the fact that one of her sisters men turned her into the bad guys that kept her captive and tortured her. The reason her sisters man did that was to protect his woman so I think she kinda blames her too. She probably doesn’t want to blame her sister but it’s hard for her because of the circumstances and the reason of why she ended up going through what she went through. Then the cousin of one of her sisters men who’s a really good hacker was the reason they found her and they all basically saved her together but that was all at the end of the previous series. This book is book one for a whole new series at Hollowbrook academy. The hacker nerd that found her ends up becoming besties with her (Thiago) but they mainly only talk over video calls. He starts stalking her though a lot once he realizes he’s fallen for her. Once she goes back to school after her kidnapping she’s forced to deal with a lot of haters that knew about her kidnapping and some of the students spread rumors about her while she was gone. Then she finds out that her biggest rival at the school who happens to be the golden boy that everyone loves and every girl wants at the school. Well he took her spot as captain for the Lacrosse team and she had put in a lot of work to get that team winning all the games they were winning before she was taken. Thiago watches out for her through all the cameras he put up in her room and hacks into all the other cameras on campus and basically every other place she goes. That boy is obsessed. Her rival Everett and her have this intense hate attraction towards each other and it definitely gives us all the enemies to lovers vibes. Then we have Reid, her broody quiet neighbor that keeps his music loud all night and hogs the communal bathroom when Meg needs to use it to shower. He’s a mystery for most of the book but at the end we find out a secret about him I don’t know if she will be able to forgive him for. I love being back in this world again and I can’t wait to see where this series goes with Meg and her new harem she’s building!
❤️🔥Dark Academy 🏑 Rival Lacrosse Captains 😈 Enemies to Lovers 🔗 Why Choose MFMM 🖤 Morally Grey MMCs 🖥️ Sexy Cyber Stalker 🖌️ Damaged Artist 👀 Trauma Bonding 🚪 A$$hole Next Door 💥 High Level Tension 🩸 Overcoming Past Trauma 🔥 Off-the-charts Steam
What to Expect: * Academy * College * Dark Academia * Emotional Scars * Enemies to Lovers * Damaged Artist * Rival Captain * Sports (lacrosse) * Healing from Traum@/Traum@tized FMC * Survival * Fake Dating * Cyber St@lker - and she likes it * Second Chance * Fallen Queen / Fallen Golden Girl * Reputation Ruined * Public Fall from Grace * Forced Proximity * Grumpy x Defiant * Who Hurt You? * Alpha Rivalry * She’s Not as Broken as They Think * Reclaiming the Crown * Campus Under Surveillance * Danger Lurking in Plain Sight * Traum@ Bonding * Tension * Revenge Arc Brewing * She Bites Back
"Amongst these three men, loyalty is dangerous, and love may be the most reckless pledge of all."
"DID SHE JUST…CHALLENGE ME? OH NO. I WAS BORN FOR THE DARKNESS. BRED FOR IT."
"HIS KINDNESS RUINS ME IN A WAY CRUELTY NEVER COULD."
"Haven't you heard? Stalking is the new chivalry."
"Meg may have escaped her captor, but recovery will be the true test of her survival."
Meg, she is a fighter! She has been through so much! She returns to college after one fetal night that put her through a long rehabilitation process. She’s determined to get her life back on track. And then there is Thiago. I loved when he let his walls downs slowly. He’s protective and patient and just everything she needs. He is obsessed with some st@lker tendencies but I loved their connection! And then Everest!! He brings the tension! The enemies to lovers! I was hooked! And that ending!!! What a cliff hanger!! I was here for the suspense and the plot and the spice! I couldn’t get enough! Oh and I’m still trying to figure out Reid! I can’t wait to see what comes next because he see right through her. I have so many questions I can’t wait for the next book I’m itching for more!!
Thank you to Maddison Cole and Smuthood PR for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Some stories are about surviving what happened. Others are about surviving who you become afterwards. Rival's Pledge sits firmly in that second category, and I had such a good time with it.
This was my first Maddison Cole book, and it definitely won't be my last. In fact, I've already started investigating her backlist because this book completely sold me on her writing.
Meg's journey is what held my attention from beginning to end. Rather than focusing solely on the trauma she's endured, the story explores what rebuilding looks like afterwards. Watching her navigate returning to college, rediscovering who she is, and refusing to let the past define her made her incredibly easy to root for. She isn't perfect, she's guarded, stubborn, and often pushes people away, but that made her feel all the more authentic.
The relationship dynamics were easily my favourite part of the book.
Thiago completely won me over. Protective, loyal, brilliantly nerdy, and more than a little obsessed, he somehow balances sweet with slightly chaotic in a way that just worked for me. Everest kept me permanently suspicious while also delivering fantastic rivals-to-lovers tension. Every interaction between him and Meg felt like a challenge neither of them wanted to walk away from. Then there's Reid... and honestly, I still don't know what to make of him. Every answer seemed to create three more questions, and I'm desperate to learn what's really going on with him.
The plot itself occasionally slowed while setting everything up, but the character relationships never allowed my interest to disappear. Every time things settled, another layer of mystery or emotional tension pulled me straight back in.
Then came the ending.
I genuinely thought I'd pieced everything together. I hadn't. Maddison Cole completely pulled the rug out from under me with a cliffhanger that left me internally yelling at myself for missing the clues. Looking back, they're there... I just never connected them.
If you enjoy dark academy romance, why choose, emotional healing journeys, obsessive love interests, sports romance, plenty of mystery, and endings that leave you questioning everything, I think you'll have an absolute blast with Rival's Pledge.
Now if you'll excuse me... I'll be over here impatiently waiting for book two because I have far too many unanswered questions.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This book captures from the start. However, as we go into the last 30%, i somewhat thought it lacked motive and progression, and at a certain part, it was a little farfetched. It was book one in a series, so that could just be it laying the groundwork for future books. That being said, most of the storyline was good, and it kept me wanting more.
The trauma and recovery were nicely done, especially Liz, the art teacher who was a better therapist than the mental rehab therapists. The lacrosse sports romance with rivals to lovers was nicely done and how their backstory affected them now.
Thiago is a true soul. The way he supports her unconditionally is so sweet. He builds her up, especially when she gets stuck in the past. He's very eccentric and whimsicle. And how he unnopologeticallyblurs the lines between stalker and protector was so cute. He is savage and petty with captain sparkles, which will definitely make you laugh, and i love it. I would have read this just for him.
The why choose wasn't in your face like many can be. It just lets her explore what she feels with no pressure to choose and with all involved being accepting. I'd like to see how that progresses, especially the whole step brother part, which my jaw touched the floor at. I did not expect that.
Overall, it would be something I'd like to continue reading further with future books.
Quotes
Thi: No. I think showing up was brave as hell. I also think you’re not done fighting for yourself yet, and that scares the people who tried to forget you.
Thi: Trust me, I’d notice. There’s nowhere you can go that I won’t look. Meg: When you say it like that, sounds kinda creepy. Thi: Haven’t you heard? Stalking is the new chivalry.
It’s not like I wanted to know how beautifully I could bleed, but Harrison showed me anyway. I’ve been bleeding out ever since, just no one notices anymore. Survival isn’t interesting
“I’m a fucking mess,” she whines. A smile stretches across my swollen lips. If only she could see through my eyes. “And I think you’re perfect anyway. If this is you at your worst, I can’t wait to see you at your best. I’m going to be with you every step of the way now. No more recovering alone, no more keeping me at a distance. When I decide what I want, there’s nothing holding me back, and I want you.”
After surviving a traumatic kidnapping and spending months recovering in rehab, Meg returns to Hollowbrook hoping to quietly rebuild her life. Instead, she's thrown into the spotlight as cruel rumors and whispers follow her across campus, painting the once award-winning lacrosse captain as a lost cause. Between classmates treating her like she's broken, nightmares that refuse to let go, and old dangers creeping back into the light, blending into the background quickly becomes impossible. Things only get worse when she discovers her rival, Everest Calloway, is now captain of her lacrosse team. The rivalry between them is intense, and despite everything she's been through, Meg refuses to let him win.
Thiago was hands down my favorite. 🖤 We love the cyber-hacking genius who has been secretly watching over and protecting Meg since everything happened. Yes... he's technically her stalker (watching her back through campus cameras and even her own computer), but somehow he became my favorite of the three love interests. We just love him that much.
Everest? I spent a good portion of this book wanting to punch him in the face. He's heavily controlled by his parents, which definitely contributes to the cocky attitude he puts on.
Reid didn't get nearly enough page time for me. What we do get is the damaged artist blasting loud music through the walls every night (keeping Meg awake), who also happened to be in rehab with her. He's mysterious, which only left me with even more questions.
While I didn't connect with this story quite as much as I expected, and I struggled to fully immerse myself at times, I still really enjoyed it. The dark academia atmosphere, the mystery, the emotional healing journey, and of course the why choose romance kept me turning the pages.
I'm definitely invested enough to pick up book two because I need to know what happens next.
Tropes I loved: 🖤 Why Choose 🏑 Dark Academia 🖤 College Romance 🏑 Enemies to Lovers 🖤 Fake Dating 🏑 Sports Romance (Lacrosse) 🖤 Forced Proximity 🏑 Grumpy × Defiant 🖤 Rival Captain 🏑 Healing from Trauma 🖤 Morally Grey Love Interests 🏑 Competitive Tension
Rival’s Pledge by Maddison Cole is a gripping, emotionally charged dark academy romance that pulls you straight into Meg’s turbulent world and refuses to let go.
Returning to Hollowbrook Academy after surviving captivity is no triumphant homecoming for Meg. Instead, she faces cruel whispers, invasive questions, and the heavy weight of being labeled a lost cause.
The way the author portrays her struggle to reclaim her place, haunted by nightmares, desperate to disappear into the background, yet unable to let go of her fire is raw and incredibly compelling.
The lacrosse rivalry with Everest Calloway injects sharp, addictive tension. Watching Meg’s competitive spirit roar back to life as she refuses to let her old rival take over her team delivers some of the most satisfying enemies to something more moments I’ve read in a while.
What really makes this book stand out is the slowburn obsession building around Meg. Between the arrogant, controlling Everest, the mysterious neighbor whose terrible music choices keep her up at night, and the fiercely loyal Thiago with his hacking skills and watchful presence, the “why choose” dynamic simmers with danger and devotion.
These men are complicated, part protection, part ruin and their circling intensity keeps the stakes high. The romance is messy, possessive, and layered with genuine care that develops alongside Meg’s healing journey.
The sports element adds energy and rivalry without overshadowing the darker themes of trauma, survival, and the lingering threat of her captor.
The author balances suspense, academy drama, and steamy tension beautifully, making Meg’s path to reclaiming her strength feel earned and empowering.
As a spin off from the Shadowed Souls series, it stands well on its own while teasing a bigger world.
If you enjoy dark academy romances with strong heroines fighting their way back, intense rivalries, and a why choose romance filled with obsession and loyalty, Rival’s Pledge is a fantastic read.
It’s angsty, addictive, and left me eager to see where Meg’s story goes next.
Highly recommended those who are fans of the genre.
i'm genuinely annoyed at how good it was because now i have to wait for book two.
soo meg comes back to hollowbrook after being kidnapped and everyone's treating her like some lost cause which is rich considering none of them even reached out when she was found. she just wants to blend in and be left alone but then she finds out everest calloway took over her lacrosse team and suddenly she's not so interested in being invisible anymore. she's still dealing with nightmares and hyper vigilance and all this trauma stuff but she's also not letting that define her.
everest is everyyythingg. cocky rich kid with the smirk you wanna wipe off his face but then you find out his parents are basically controlling his whole life and it makes so much sense why he is the way he is. the tension between him and meg is not your cute flirty enemies to lovers stuff, it's more like they genuinely wanna destroy each other but also can't stay away.
thiago is the hacker bestie who found meg after she was taken and has been with her ever since. he hacks into campus cameras to watch her and enrolled at the school just to be closer and she's lowkey fine with it. he's her safe place and I loveee him
reid is the neighbor who blasts music at all hours and hogs the hot water and she met him in rehab. we don't get a ton of him but every interaction had me wanting more because he sees right through her and i have no idea what his deal is yet.
harrison is still out there which gives the whole book this underlying dread that something bad is gonna happen at any moment.
it's slow burn but still spicy. this is a spin off from the shadowed souls series but you can read it without having read those first (I know bc I haven't read them)
that ending ahhh i thought i figured it out and then the last few pages just proved me wrong :(((
tropes 🏑 rival lacrosse captains 🖤 dark academia 😈 enemies to lovers 🔗 why choose 💻 cyber stalker love interest 🎨 damaged artist 🚪 asshole next door 🩸 trauma recovery 🔥 slow burn 👑 fallen golden girl 👀 he sees right through her 🎭 morally grey mmcs 💀 captor still at large 💤 sleep deprivation
Overview Meg is in the process of reintegrating back into her former life at Hallowbrook Academy after her disappearance, but campus life is not as she left it.
With her old rivalry with Everest back at the forefront and larger than ever, a noisy neighbour, and her computer hacker bestie, Thiago, Meg’s dream of peace is quickly shattered. Will she retreat and sink, or swim?
The Verdict Rival’s Pledge is a spinoff from Maddison Cole’s Shadowed Souls series. While it is suggested to read this series prior to venturing into Rival’s Pledge, it’s not necessary. Maddison Cole has done a great job of placing the reader in her world and reveals what is needed to understand Meg without any prior reading (gaining one star).
That being said, the story was quite messy. Some of the reveals felt thrown in at the last minute, rather than thought through. An example of this was
Overall, Rival’s Pledge was too unbelievable. It felt very unedited and like a book fresh off Wattpad. Thiago, for example, while a fun character and good comic relief,
This was read and reviewed as an Advanced Reader Copy.
Tropes to Expect - Multiple partners - Academy setting - Sports Romance - Lacrosse - Healing from trauma - Only-one-bed - Hacker/ stalker
⭐ Rating: 2/5 🌶️ Spice: 3/5
Consumed via: Ebook POV: Multiple - FMC,MMC and MMC Series: Hollowbrook Academy - Book 1
First of all, thank you to the author for the ARC.
I absolutely devoured this book. From the very first chapter, you’re thrown straight into the story—there’s no slow build or unnecessary setup. The tension is immediate, and I was hooked from page one.
Meg’s journey is heartbreaking, and watching her try to rebuild herself after everything she’s been through felt incredibly emotional. Rather than focusing only on the romance, the story gives her space to heal while slowly rediscovering the fierce, determined person she used to be. I found myself rooting for her every step of the way.
One of my favourite things about this book is the dynamic between Meg and the three love interests. They each bring something completely different to her life, which made every interaction feel fresh and meaningful. None of them blend together or fill the same role. Everest pushes her to remember the strength she’s lost, Thiago offers unwavering devotion that somehow manages to be both comforting and slightly unhinged, and Reid completely caught me off guard. Some of his quieter moments ended up being my favourites.
The rivalry between Meg and Everest was everything I hoped for—competitive, emotional, frustrating, and full of chemistry. Their banter had me smiling one minute and wanting to scream the next.
There were so many moments that genuinely surprised me, and just when I thought I had things figured out… this book completely pulled the rug out from under me.
And that ending?!
WHAT. THE. HELL.
I genuinely stared at the last page wondering how I was supposed to move on after that. I need book two immediately because there is absolutely no way I’m waiting patiently after that cliffhanger.
If you love dark academy romance with rivals-to-lovers tension, morally grey and obsessive love interests, emotional healing, mystery, and enough twists to keep you guessing, you need to add this to your TBR.
Where to begin.. hoping to not have any spoilers here.. I went into this book completely blind. I did see the info and tropes and trigger warnings, but I didn’t read them. So I honestly had no idea what I was getting into except that lacrosse would be involved. So… this book is the first of a series. Apparently there is a series before it that explains more of the FMC past and trauma. I honestly would’ve liked to read it to see more of her background on page, but this book does well in keeping you informed and I think the other series is her sister’s story.. so again, you’re not missing out on much without reading those.
Meg has trauma and this book is about her healing and overcoming them and continuing on with her life. She starts back at uni again and runs into her rival Everest who “inspire” her to join her old lacrosse team and be more involved with school than she had planned on for her return. During her trauma she also met Thiago who she is really good friends with online, and he gives her the support she needs from a friend… then there’s Reid (iykyk) her neighbor in her new dorm who she also previously knows from her trauma time.. so all in all, the books is her journey back in the real world and how these 3 guys affect her, motivate her, piss her off, and more…
I really liked this book. It’s the first book I’ve read where I wasn’t too sure how these guys were going to play out, is one of them the villain, is this the first ever RH where the guys hate each other and aren’t already friends?? The questions, the questions…
I would give more, but like I said I don’t want to spoil anything. Just know that this is a good book, a little heavy but not dark, and that it ends on a cliffhanger. I am very much looking forward to the next book!!
Thank you to the author and agency for providing me with the eARC for my honest review. I was not expecting the plot twist- even though I had my guesses!
"Meg may have escaped her captor, but recovery will be the true test of her survival."
First off I was absolutely unprepared for that ending. I thought I knew what the cliffhanger was going to be but I was so very wrong. I did not see that scene happening like that at all. I am absolutely feral for what comes next.
Meg has been through a lot since she was kidnapped. So many revelation and events happened before she was finally able to return to school. Formerly the lacrosse captain and psych major She is now studying art and trying to be okay again. Meg is a fighter and she isn't ready to give up yet.
Thiago is the sweetest green flag guy with some grey morals. He is Meg's safe place and has already decided she would be his. He is a brilliant hacker and has to come out of his shell when he us forced to enroll at the school. He needs to be closer than the cameras allow. These two are the sweetest together.
Everest and Meg have this immediate rivalry when she discovered he was the captain of the new coed lacrosse team. Everest is from a very affluent family and Daddy dearest is definitely pulling strings. These two are all heat, violence, and passion.
Lastly we have Reid. He is her broody artist neighbor who loves to play music to deafening tones all hours if the night. They have this battle of wills going on that sits on the edge of will they fight or give into the attraction. Their relationship is the most confusing as they don't interact much. You know the tension is there but there are so many unknown with him.
I am so invested in this group. I can't wait to get mire backstory on Reid. There is obviously a lot going on that we know nothing about and I can't wait to see what it is.
This story is a slow burn but with a lot of heat. Even with the slow burn it is still spicy. Pretty sure this us going to get a lot spicier in the next book and I'm here for it.
I have been desperate to find out Meg (and Thiago)'s story after the Shadowed Souls series and loved the direction her story is going in. Meg has been through the wringer and her mental health journey is a big part of the story as she returns to her life after being kidnapped plus a year in rehab; you can't help but root for her as she claws her way back. I was so sad at how people treated her and was glad she found people in her corner.
This is slow burn on the romance front but Thiago is with Meg every step of the way (whether Meg realised or not!) and is the greenest of green flags. Thiago may have his own hangups but I loved how he showed up for Meg when it counted. Everest is a different kettle of fish; he is usually my type of MMC but that biased match at the start had me loathing him. I was here for all the jealousy vibes though and I did warm up to him as he dealt with Thiago's hazing. Captain Sparkle was a definite highlight and this may be my favourite use of two truths and a lie I've come across!
I'm a Wyatt fan from Shadowed Souls and had totally blanked on how he got Meg involved in that series - I hope that means they have a reunion coming up as Meg is due some closure. I totally understand where Meg is coming from though with keeping them at arms length but I hope she and Avery can get back on track too.
I love a good cliffhanger and this one is amazing; didn't see either part of those elements coming (although on a re-read the clues were there!) and it managed to top the twists a few chapters earlier which was pretty epic too. I cannot wait for book two!
My interpretation of the star system; 3 stars - I enjoyed it; would read the author again 4 stars - I really liked it; I am invested and definitely want more from this author/series 5 stars - I loved it; I engaged with this book completely until I finished it and it is one I will re-read
Well, after closing the book, I found myself a bit surprised by the whole thing and curious as to where it is going to go. Meg, man, this poor girl is put through the ringer. She is just living her best life and then finds herself constantly caught up in the desires of others. From the first chapter, you find that she doesn't have any choice in any of it, and as the book continues, she is just trying to find ways to survive, find a new normal, and navigate the three guys who all have different ways of being in her life.
All I can say is, thank the cybergods for Thiago. I do not like that he invades her privacy, but for the rest, I am glad she has him. He is as much a crutch for her as she is for him. I do not think there is anything he wouldn't do for her because of how much he cares for her. Maybe obsessed is a better word.
Everest, on the other hand, oy, he is a dick that I think she needs to distract herself. He brings her back to lacrosse, the sport she loved so much, and the rivalry between them. He is manipulative and is not used to hearing no, and Meg could not care less.
Reid, another jerk, but a strong, silent, artsy type. He no doubt has reasons for being said jerk, as she starts off with him in a group therapy session at the beginning of the book. Mainly, I find he is just there to annoy her, but there are moments where he brings more to the story that are notable. There is a lot to unpack with him that opens up at the end.
I have come to understand that this is a spin-off, so there might be context I am missing, but it worked well as a standalone, and I am curious to see where this story goes.
There is so much manipulation of Meg that I don't know how she keeps herself as sane as she does, but I look forward to seeing how she continues to keep it all together.
This book was my first read by Madison Cole and now I think I’m addicted This book had me hooked from the very first page and kept me there until the last. The fmc Meg is trying to find herself again after a brutal kidnapping. She was such a force to reckon with before, and now she is a shell of her formal self. It does not help that her former classmates and friends are saying and treating her so unkindly. They have no idea what she went through especially because none of them reached out to her after she was found. Then there is her former rival, Everest, who is trying to take her place as captain of the lacrosse team. There is no way she will let this arrogant, entitled, everyone worship me a hole take her spot. They have a complicated relationship but maybe there is more to him than he lets the world believe. Next we have her dorm neighbor, Reid, who blasts his music day and night and steals all the hot water. She first met him in rehab, and he unnerves her because he can see right through her and what she is trying to hide. He seems to have some secrets of his own. Lastly, there is Thiago who has been there for her and was the one who found herself again after. He is a cyber geek who may or may not use his skills to not only engage in criminal activity for a paycheck but possibly to hack into live camera feeds to watch Meg. This is all to keep her safe of course. Thiago is her safe place and he accepts her as she is without requiring much in return. These characters are all so easy to love.Let’s not forget about the delicious spice. Then there’s that shocking twist at the end which leaves us on a cliffhanger. I can’t wait to read more about these characters and their backstories. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this arc. I loved this book so much!