Fake Fruit Factory

by Patrick Wensink

Fake Fruit Factory is a stick-slapping, gut-punching comedic novel about the eccentric small town of Dyson, Ohio. When NASA determines an errant satellite will crash there, the town's young mayor uses the ensuing media circus to attract tourism and save his bankrupt rust belt community. Unless, of course, the satellite completely wipes it from the map.

In Fake Fruit Factory, Wensink’s motley cast of characters are the heart of “America’s Boringest City.” Bo Rutili is Dyson’s 26-year-old mayor, who relieves stress with copious doses of hand sanitizer. Donna “Urinating Bear” Queen uses her recent lottery spoils to convince the town she’s the only one who can save it. And Old Man Packwicz, Dyson’s aging ex-mayor, might finally save the town via a filet-mignon wielding, toilet paper-clad mummy.

Fake Fruit Factory hilariously captures the peculiarities of small town life through the story of a wacky community finding its place in contemporary America.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Adult Fiction, Novels, Science Fiction

350 pages, Paperback

First published September 8, 2015

About the author

Patrick Wensink was born in Deshler, OH in 1979. Since that time he has done a lot of things he is not proud of. But he's also done some pretty interesting stuff. Over the years he has bottled and sold his own line of Wentastic BBQ Sauce, got married in a doughnut shop and even found the time to author a few greeting cards.

The Louisville Courier-Journal called Sex Dungeon for Sale!, "A deliciously dark and funny book," which probably made his mom very happy.

Reviews

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read 7/6/15 - 7/30/15
3 Stars - Recommended to readers who've already read books by the author and the publisher
Pages: 350
Publisher: Curbside Splendor
Releasing: Sept 2015



Oh man. This is gonna be hard.

I was reeeeeally excited about the Wensink/Curbside collaboration when I first learned of it. I'd been a fan of Wensink's for a long time, starting back in his early days when he was strictly a bizarro boy - releasing books like Sex Dungeon For Sale! and Black Hole Blues with Eraserhead. And I couldn't have been more happy for him when he literally blew up the small press community as the recipient of one of the nicest cease-and-desist letters from Jack Daniels over the design for his novel Broken Piano for President in 2012.

Now, I don't know Patrick personally and I have no clue if the change from bizarro to a more main-streamy title was the result of his best-sellerhood from that release or his stay-at-home-daddyhood status these past few years, or just some quiet urge to shake off the quirky genre stuff and try his hand at a more literary and straight up story line, and I really don't care. I was just super eager to get my hands on the latest novel because it seemed like a marriage made in heaven and sounded like the logical next-step for Wensink's writing career.

The plot was intriguing. A no-name small town on the verge of bankruptcy faces the threat of being wiped out by a satellite's potential crash-course journey straight at 'em. In the midst of the media frenzy, the town's newly rich bitch goes on a mission to prove she's the only one who can save them. Meanwhile, a sudden maddening hunt to uncover the legendary golden fruit, the legacy of the town's greatest businessman, may end up killing off all the townspeople before that satellite even has a chance to. Oh yeah, and there's a bandaged-wrapped mummy on the loose, handing out gifts and otherwise terrifying those who haven't evacuated town.

Tell me that doesn't scream READ ME.

And read it I did.

Early into the novel, however, I knew it was going to be a struggle. For starters, Patrick introduced us to way too many people all at once. I found myself furiously taking notes on each character as a means to differentiate one from the other for about the first third of the book. He whipped them at us at breakneck speed and there were a A LOT of them!

His chapters were short to begin with - Patrick continuously moved us from sub-plot to sub-plot - and they grew ever shorter the deeper into the book I progressed. Characters began pairing up and splitting off, then reconvening... switching partners over and over again. It was like a literary square dancing session. Sometimes, I swear even Patrick forgot who was running around town with whom because suddenly, two people who I thought were off with other people doing different things no where near each other were now caught up in conversation with each other. At first, I tried to go back and find the spot where I lost the thread, but ultimately I just gave up and moved forward, figuring I'd get back on track sooner or later. And I usually did. And if I didn't, it really didn't matter because they ended up breaking apart and moving on to hook up with someone else somewhere else anyway.

Was it a bad book? No, not at all. I liked the whole chaotic town-in-a-time-of-crisis, can-they-pull-themselves-together-in-the-face-of-catastrophe, or will-they-end-up-pulling-themselves-apart trope.

Could it have been written better? Absolutely. I think this is a style that could be very fitting for Patrick - this humorous tongue-in-cheek look at humanity on the cusp of... something. But I think Patrick is still trying to figure out just how to do it. With a stronger focus on editing and pacing, a slowing down of events, instead of a mad rush of them, might help with that.

Not a great place to start if you are new to both Patrick and the Curbside team. I've read better from both. And I know I don't give out 1/2 stars, but if I did, It'd be teetering on a 2 1/2 more than a 3.

[Victor Giron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ya baby

[David Malone · Rating 3 out of 5]

Small towns are the thrift stores of the civic world. Everything in them seems a bit dated in a pleasant way, most people view them as novelties, and there are fewer and fewer of them around. In a small town, everything is amplified; toss a rock into the ocean and it doesn’t even cause a discernible ripple, toss it in a teacup and everything goes to hell. But what if it wasn’t just a rock you were tossing into that teacup, but a massive boulder (or, say, a satellite)? Well, that is the exact situation the (infinitely) strange individuals populating the small town of Dyson, Ohio have to deal with in Patrick Wensink’s Fake Fruit Factory.

Okay, let’s set the stage. Dyson is bankrupt and dying, it is in the process of being labeled as one of America’s Boringest Cities, and worst (or possibly best) of all, NASA has just informed its plethora of curious inhabitants that a satellite is falling toward Earth and has its sights firmly set on Dyson as a landing spot. Oh yeah, and did I mention there is a mischievous mummy running around serving up plates of fancy duck innards and talking through signs like Wile. E. Coyote?

With Dyson about to be wiped from the map, both literally and metaphorically, it is up to the colorful cast of characters to save their town in any way they can, (such as one character discovering she is part Native American and attempting to open a casino, another firing up the town’s plastic fruit factory and throwing together a parade celebrating Dyson, or others still making sure people die in the satellite impact site to attract national media attention or searching for the mythical treasure of the fake fruit factories founder). It is certainly an intriguing (and somewhat cooky sounding) premise, but while Wensink is obviously very comfortable with and good at exploring the bizarre through his odd characters, the book sometimes suffers from a choppy structure, a plot that loses its way, and a cast that is just too big for its own good.

The best part about this book, the characters, is also an aspect that hurts the novel. Straight from the first pages you will be introduced to character after character after character. It gets to the point where even if you took notes you’d end up with something resembling a Guess Who? board in front of you (Ed Lee, who was that again? Did he wear glasses? Does he have a mustache?) The problem is that the book is just not long enough for the amount of people Wensink stuffs into the novel. But it isn’t the amount of people alone that makes this an issue, it is the fact that each character also has their own plot line attached to them. The novel isn’t told through chapters, but instead, through short, vignette-like anecdotes told in chronological order that jump from character to character. This is interesting in the beginning of the novel, but after awhile it just feels like you are reading a mini cliffhanger on almost every page without any resolution.

By employing this style, the plot of the book vanishes. Sure, the common thread of Dyson and the incoming satellite still runs through everything, but it didn’t hold my interest at all. Truth be told, I found myself (and still find myself) much more intrigued by the mummy storyline than by the greater plot of Dyson’s potential doom. It is never a good sign when a sub-plot becomes more entertaining than the main plot. However, the sub-plot nor the main plot ever really reached the payoff I was hoping for.

But lest you think this book is nothing more than a promise of a zany story that can’t deliver, there are plenty of good aspects of the novel as well.

The fact that there were too many characters can actually be taken as a compliment. I mentioned the characters were both the best and one of the worst parts of the book. This is because, while there were too many, that is only due to the fact that they were all interesting and unique and I wanted more from each of them. Had there been fewer characters it would have allowed for a deeper look at each of them. This is much better than it feeling like there was too many characters because they were all so boring and shallow.

While I am not a fan of the present tense style used (I am almost never a fan of this style, it just seems jarring and unnecessary), Wensink is a great writer with a fantastically strange voice to match his subject matter. I particularly like the way he describes things and the analogies he draws. They are weird, original, and always completely on point when it comes to describing whatever is going on, be it an awkward conversation or a burning crater left behind from a fallen satellite.

The dialogue is strong as well, although some of the characters do start to bleed together as only a few have voices that differentiate from the others.

This book also accomplishes something very difficult to do, it is legitimately funny. Comedy requires timing, and that can be hard to capture in a novel, but Wensink manages to succeed in the humor department. There is a combination of humor on display; slapstick, irony, and dark humor are all neatly wrapped up in nice satirical packaging.
​
Patrick Wensink, is a talented writer with a strong, idiosyncratic voice and Fake Fruit Factory, like many of the characters found within the book, is weird, irreverent, and imperfect, but also strangely likable. If you are a fan of the bizarre, you’ll likely find at least a few things to enjoy about this book.

​3 out of 5 stars

Find more book reviews, author interviews and The Serial Bowl blog at Storytimejunction.net.
Or follow me on twitter at @DAM_malone

[Cassandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unique idea for a novel that goes off the rails a few times. I enjoyed the format and a few of the characters though. Worth a read if you’re looking for a change of pace. It also wins the award for the first book I had to purchase in 2017 since the local library did not own it.

[Crystal Richards · Rating 2 out of 5]

Because I'm a generally open minded person, I'm generously giving this book 2 stars. The premise is meaningless, characters have no depth, and overall a pretty boring story that's supposed to be thought provoking. Please do not waste your time on this one like I did.

[Mike Smolarek · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best way to sum up this book is that it is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Ludacris, even. And that’s a good thing. It’s the story of the Ohio town, Dyson, which is fighting for its survival against decline and decay that has happened to small towns through America over the last fifty years. Lead by Mayor Bo Rutili, the fourth youngest mayor in America we are told multiple times, Dyson and it’s impassioned citizens hatch a plan to revive their sagging town, only to learn that NASA is expecting a falling satellite to crash land into Dyson, obliterating the “speck of pepper” from the map.
Desperate times call for desperate actions and Dyson’s citizens are desperate to save their town. The Mayor’s girlfriend, Marci, often ignored by the Mayor himself, dreams of the most famous person in Dyson’s history, who ran the Fake Fruit Factory. Her sister, the failed actress, desperate to escape Dyson, clinging to anyone who smells like they might be famous. The former big city DJ, Cody Kellogg, Mr. Razzle Dazzle, now stuck at a small station in Dyson where no one can hear him. The police chief, a former opera star, desperate to win back the love of his former opera partner and ex-wife. The proprietor of the local tavern, who keeps his shit list tattooed on his hand. the former basketball star, still stung by the death of his wife fifteen years ago, on his own crusade to save the town’s history. The current owner of the factory, intend on having a parade. The rich lottery winner, Donna Queen, intend on saving the town, but lost for the right words and the right actions, who opens a casino. The former Mayor, Old Man Packwicz, down on his luck after missing out on the lottery prize and ousted from office, who tries multiple times to end his own life. The town’s only attorney, who thinks he is smarter than the rest of the town but lives in fear that his wife is going to leave him. The government agent, who seems to turn up everywhere. The First Lady, who seems to be a roulette junkie and who also loves a good mudslide. Throw in a map to a long lost treasure for these people to hunt down. Oh, and a mummy who drops off gifts to the citizens of Dyson, including foie gras and opera music.
These characters all have feelings and wants and needs and things from their past they cannot escape. Although they try, they can’t to do the right thing to help each other or Dyson. Even though they keeping making the same mistakes, by the end of the book, you’ll be rooting for them all
So yes, this book is ridiculous. It’s also hilarious. Wensink words made me laugh out loud. At every turn, when you think things can’t take another turn for the worse, or the more ridiculous, they do. And how does it end for the citizens of Dyson? Who is the hero? Who saves the town? Does anyone outside of Dyson itself even care? Well, that I can’t tell you.

[grok+11amazon.com]

This 21 minute short film is from "American Film Treasures/Avant Garde Film: Disc 1"--a compilation of mostly forgotten art films of the 20th century. This DVD set is NOT for the casual viewer and sometimes I wonder why I watched the films--as some of them were VERY artsy and weird!

Chick Strand made this film about women who worked at a company that made papier-mâché fruit. It's less about the fruit and more about the women themselves that the film explores. At times, it consists of LOTS of very closeup shots of the women and their hands--with the sort of framing, odd composition and choppy cuts you'd expect in an art film. Not surprising, these Mexican workers speak Spanish through most of the film and Strand translates it in text for the viewers. Much of what they talk about is gossip. Later, the ladies drive to some swimming pool with their kids and the men--as Mexican music plays. Then, they take a break to eat, play cards and gossip some more. Then, they return to work and get paid. Then, you learn that the boss ran off with another woman and his wife now runs the place...and is rich.

[Jacqueline · Rating 3 out of 5]

NOTE: This is a review not a book report. If you want to find out about the book in a play by play I am sure you can read one of the other reviews.

I love humor books. Novels, specifically. I wanted to love this. It has such a great premise. It's a small town that's going to be wiped out by a satellite returning to earth. No one cares outside of the town because the town is the size of a speck of pepper on a map. The mayor is young, the main industry is plastic fruit, and the antagonist (besides the satellite) is a terrible woman with an unfortunate name.

Now, to be honest, I haven't felt good. Allergies. So, perhaps I wasn't in the right space to read this. Maybe my funny bone was clogged. I definitely giggled out loud in the first couple of pages, but then the giggles were surpassed by coughing fits and head scratching (allergies and cluelessness as to what was going on in the novel).

I think I wanted more Christopher Moore and less... well, whatever this was. Humor, though, really is subjective and if you like the genre of funny novels I'd give it a whirl. Who knows? You might laugh a little more than I did.

[William Bevill · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tried to like this book. I really tried. It has a very good premise and all the elements needed, but the writing falls flat fast like a bad pancake. Or week old root beer. Anyway, the many sub plots bouncing around back and forth get tiresome fast and I wound up just skipping the last chapter. I enjoyed the mummy element and some of the quirkiness. But beyond that, I just felt the story got lost and the further I got along, the less interested I became. Perhaps this would make a better movie with the frenetic scene changes better suited to visuals.

[Kay · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a bizarre story that made me laugh. Have a small town in rural America which is dying. It's only factory made fake fruit and has now been closed for years. Enter the possibility of a satellite crashing into the town and that the owner of the fake fruit factory created some golden fruit worth millions that is buried somewhere with clues in an old coded diary. Then throw all these dysfunctional, egotistical, money driven people and see what happens! That in a nutshell is the story. I thought it was a fun and in it's own way, dare I say, charming story.

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this quirky read, the down of Dyson Ohio is at risk of a satellite crashing down there. The mayor comes up with a plan to attract attention to his small town. I don’t want to give away too much in this review. However, if you enjoy a light funny read about small towns, you will enjoy this one. The plot is light hearted and keeps you reading all the way to the end. While I was awarded this book on Good Reads, all opinions are my own.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book free from Goodreads giveaways in exchange for an honest opinion.
I liked this book because the characters were fun and unpredictable. No one in this town is how you think they are at the beginning of the story. I liked the twists in the story and all the fake fruit.
There were however, some points I was a little confused on- who was the mummy, and what was his purpose in the story? Why did the mourners briefly become zombies? I guess I may never know...

[Aaron Pride · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think that this book had a lot of promise in the first two-thirds, but like many other reviewers stated, the last third really fizzled out. I think between a weird, non-sequitur-for-randomness'-sake ending and way too many cuts between scenes, I just stopped caring about all of the characters. Having a cast of flawed, unlikeable people was surprisingly fun for the opening and middle sections, but at the end they just got tired and I got bored. Three stars, but just barely.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

As outlandish of some of the twists and turns in this wonderful story may be, the primary driving forces are the characters and their fully realized relationships. Small town political drama runs right up against a wall of Doctor Strangelovian surrealism. You've never read anything like this before and unless you read more of Wensink's writing, you never will. He is a genius all on his own. I loved this book and cannot wait to dive in and read it all over again.

[Jackie Trimble · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was reminding me of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World for a while -- and that's a good thing. However, I did feel it fell apart somewhere near the end and so it didn't have that charm that "It's a Mad...." did. Still, I was grateful for the book and I do recommend it for a few good chuckles and some neat characters.

[Linsy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not at all what I expected, and thus it read a little slow for me, but overall I enjoyed it. Lots of character study and how greed can change a person, and if they can step back from that brink. NPR recommended this book, and if you enjoy quirky characters, give it a whirl. The tone and characters reminded me a lot of Terry Pratchett.

[Beth Freudenburg · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is something very comfortable about the stoic and embarrassing and humiliating logical life of mid westerners. At times, the writing is very funny. Most times, the story balances an underlying social tragedy with a town that has outlived it's usefulness. If nothing else, it's not the same old read.

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was zany and "madcap" as advertised, but character development was limited and I don't feel like he handled the large cast of characters well enough to differentiate them. Also, the big sense of mystery just sort of flopped/deflated at the end. All that, not to mention the distractingly poor copy-editing.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

a waste of time...I didn't like it from the start...but there was something that pulled me all the way through to the end. a hope perhaps that it would get better and questions would be answered. nope.

[Mkb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't finish this book. It took quirky a little too far and just became silly.

[Tammy]

I thought this was going to get fun, but it never did. I kept reading because I never hated it. Until the end. I really hated the end. Stupid book.

[Dave · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Good potential; not executed.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of a wacky story.