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Calf

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Part Are You There God, It's Me Margaret and part Taxi Driver , this creepy, unsettling, and absolutely addictive novel is at once a penetrating character study, a meditation on the zeitgeist of the '80s, and an unflinching depiction of violence, both intimate and sensational.

The year was 1981. The US was entering a deep recession, Russia was our enemy, and John Hinckley, Jr.'s assassination attempt on President Ronald Reagan shocked the nation. It was also the year author Andrea Kleine learned her close childhood friend had been violently murdered by her socialite mother, Leslie DeVeau. Both events took place in Washington, DC. Hinckley and DeVeau were both sent to St. Elizabeth's hospital, guilty by reason of insanity. It was there that they met, and later became lovers.

These two real-life, and ultimately converging events inspired Kleine's jaw-dropping, spine-tingling novel, CALF . Made up of dual narratives and told over the course of one year, Kleine's account follows a fictionalized John Hinckley Jr. as he stalks a young actress in the lead-up to the assassination attempt, and eleven-year-old Tammy, whose friend is murdered in her sleep.

368 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2015

19 people are currently reading
1461 people want to read

About the author

Andrea Kleine

3 books61 followers
Andrea Kleine is the author of the novel CALF, which was named one of the best books of 2015 by Publishers Weekly; and EDEN, named a best book of 2018 by Nylon and a finalist for the Ferro-Grumley/Publishing Triangle Award. She is a five-time MacDowell Colony Fellow and the recipient of a New York Foundation for the Arts Fellowship. A performance artist, essayist, and novelist, she lives in New York City.

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5 stars
49 (20%)
4 stars
82 (33%)
3 stars
69 (28%)
2 stars
31 (12%)
1 star
12 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
Profile Image for switterbug (Betsey).
938 reviews1,521 followers
October 18, 2015
In this debut “faction” novel, the author takes an episode from her childhood—a friend murdered by her mother—and creates a chilling, nuanced dual narrative that is largely a domestic suspense story. The second narrative is based on John Hinckley Jr.’s attempted assassination of President Reagan. Both the true-life shooters were pronounced not guilty by reason of insanity, and met and became lovers at a mental institution. Kleine changes all the names, and invents a fictional story, to give free reign to go inside their heads and not be restricted by true events. This terrifying, character-driven drama allows the reader to follow the daily thoughts and actions of the killers and their families. There’s no gratuitous violence or pandering to readers. From the opening pages, the reader is installed in this accomplished, well-developed story.

As the novel progresses, CALF intensifies and grows more hair-raising and disturbing. Kleine brushes up against the second-person perspective, especially with the mentally disturbed and manipulative “Jeffrey Hackney” and the female killer that is inspired by the real-life Leslie DeVeau. The author did her research on mental illness, as these are no stereotypical generic types. Inch by inch, day by day, the murderers get closer to entirely disassociating. If there’s a theme here, then it is about the manifestation of violence in a socially ordered culture.
4.5 rounded up
Profile Image for Jill.
Author 2 books2,075 followers
November 18, 2015
Traumas that occur in childhood leave an indelible mark on survivors, who often recall those times in inimitable detail. I start this way because this book is inspired by a true story that affected the author. Her good friend was murdered by Leslie deVeau, the victim’s mother. Around the same time, John Hinckley Jr. tried to assassinate President Reagan. Later, deVeau and Hinckley became lovers while patients at St. Elizabeths Hospital.

This book is not a recreation of those events; rather, it is inspired by them. Any reader who expects a point-by-point comparison will be disappointed. That being said, there is a haunting authenticity to Calf, which pulls the reader in and doesn’t let go until the very last page.

Two narratives intertwine. One focuses on Tammy, a disaffected pre-teen who lives in Washington, D.C. with her mother, stepfather, and younger sister and brother. All the pain, alienation and disenchantment of those tender years is fully captured. In fact, Tammy is so real that she can walk off the page. The friend who is eventually murdered is not difficult to guess; we see the event building as if we are watching a trainwreck.

The other story, which gets equal time, spotlights Jeffrey Hackney (an obvious Hinckley stand-in) who obsesses over an actress named Amber Carrol. As he emotionally disintegrates, suspense rises although we know (or think we know) where the narrative is going.

For me, the more captivating of the two storylines is Tammy’s. There’s a rawness to it that made me feel as if Andrea Kleine was mining some deep emotional remembrances. Yet both storylines are powerful and unsettling. I read this book in two intense sittings.


Profile Image for Jenny.
217 reviews25 followers
August 17, 2016
This book looms. I sort of want to use all caps; THIS BOOK LOOMS. The story follows a young aimless man and a pre-teen girl in separate stories taking place in the Reagan eighties. John Lennon has just been killed, the Vietnam memorial is being built, and life goes on, but not easily or happily for these two people. This is another book that makes me want to find the parents of the main characters and shake them. Yes, I know it is fiction, but it is real too. There are parents like the ones in this book in real life, and if they were better at caring about their families, then the events in this book perhaps would not happen. Sorry- I just wish all parents were good people, unrealistic, I know.
Anyway, this is a wonderfully written book on uncomfortable topics like depression, neglect, divorce, mental illness, and childhood. It reads like a suspense novel, because it looms. Every time you turn a new page you expect something bad or important to happen. I kept putting this down, thinking I couldn't take anymore, and then I just had to know, and picked it back up. Read this, but not if you are already sad or anxious.
Profile Image for Gina.
Author 6 books69 followers
January 13, 2016
A wild, weird novel with moments of intense suspense/anticipation that will keep you up all night reading. The sort of dismal, alien, lonely part of being a child is rendered really beautifully, and painfully, particularly in regards to girlhood. I love the moment when you're reading a novel and discover how it gots its title; in this book that moment is such a tender, violent one, surprising and sad. Even though this isn't a jubilant novel by any stretch of the word, I didn't feel depressed when it was done– just more human.
538 reviews6 followers
January 2, 2016
In CALF, Andrea Kleine uses a stream of consciousness narrative style to build suspense and show the similarities between true insanity and the more conventional teenage angst. She traces the evolution of the inner-most thoughts of Jeffrey Hackney—loosely based on John Hinckley Jr.— and Tammy, a teenager whose childhood friend was murdered by her mother—based on Kleine herself.

In alternating chapters, the novel follows Jeff and Tammy for one year in 1981. Kleine depicts Jeff as a young man who has a domineering father and submissive mother. He lacks self-confidence and is totally self-absorbed. Kleine admirably depicts Jeff’s aberrant thinking that progressively gets more and more strange. Ultimately, Jeff concludes that he and a rising young actress named Amber Carrol are meant for each other and he must rescue her. This episode is loosely based on Hinckley’s relentless stalking and attempts to communicate with Jodie Foster after seeing her play a vulnerable young prostitute in the 1976 film, Taxi Driver. Hackney’s bizarre fixation on Amber is eerily similar to what Hinckley went through with Foster.

Like Hackney, 11 year-old Tammy has a domineering father—stepfather in her case—and a mother who submits to his will over supporting Tammy. With Tammy’s monologue, Kleine depicts the thinking of a pre-teen in 80’s America. Also like Hackney and not unlike most pre-teens, Tammy feels alienated from her family and friends. She is disenchanted with life in general and expresses it in various acts of rebellion. Through Tammy, Kleine relives her own experience of having a close childhood friend murdered by her mother. Tammy’s neighbor, a friend of her sister Kirin, is murdered by her mother who is mentally ill. Ironically, Kleine’s neighbor and Hinckley were both found innocent by reason of insanity and were incarcerated in the same psych ward in Washington DC. Kleine claims that they became lovers.

After reading the blurbs on this book, one might reasonably expect that the relationship between the two murderers would be explored in CALF, but that was not Kleine’s theme. Instead, she artfully compares the thought processes that can exist in a truly deranged mind with those of a supposedly normal pre-adolescent. The similarities are unsettling and leave the reader contemplating how small the gulf might be between the two. Kleine puts Tammy in a position where she comes uncomfortably close to insanity, but this scene cannot be revealed without spoiling one of the joys of reading this remarkable book.
Profile Image for Katherine Doll.
304 reviews12 followers
March 30, 2016
A quick and really riveting read. Characters were excellent. Pre-teen girls and an account of slowly sliding into madness - opposite ends of the spectrum, so to speak, but both so well done!
Profile Image for Danielle.
84 reviews
March 30, 2025
I had expected this to focus more on the murder and attempted assassination plots and develop those characters and their stories. Instead it was like a semi-memoir of a girl in a dysfunctional/strained house.

Yes it had dread and a darkness but I struggled to want to finish this because at a certain point I just didn't care about the characters we were forced to focus on.
Profile Image for Jeremy.
74 reviews
April 8, 2025
Very well written and supremely tense at times, but I have no idea why the writer did the double storylines outside of that's what happened to the author.

Would read more.
Profile Image for Kate.
337 reviews13 followers
March 25, 2016
Both of my sins are in medicine, and I remember once remarking to them about my grandchildren, "We are one lucky family, all of the kids are healthy." One son turned to me and said, "We don't know that yet, lets wait until they make it to 19." What he was referring to was that parents with healthy and beautiful children who are loved and appear to have normal healthy lives often find that their children in that post-adolescent age suddenly have everything go wrong. These near adults begin a slow slide into a different world that will inevitably by diagnosed as schizophrenia...one out of one hundred.
This novel deals with the stories of several children: Tammy a ten year old girl who finds herself responsible for the care of her younger siblings, her sister Steffi and Steffi's best friend and the story of Jefferey, a pudgy, incredibly shy and withdrawn college drop out who lives with his parents. All of these children are trying to make adjustments as the come of age, and like all children they hunger to be loved and to have others to see them and appreciate them for who they are...and the tragedy is that very few children find themselves experiencing those things.
Well crafted, it draws you in and their is bound to be a character that you know.
Profile Image for Florence Buchholz .
955 reviews23 followers
May 7, 2016
Loosely based on actual events that occurred in the 1980's, Andrea Kleine captures the angst of a preteen girl. Her mother views her as a live in babysitter for her younger siblings. She hates her stepfather. Her friends are cruel in a way that only gangs of privileged school kids can be. The other protagonist is a young man on the verge of losing his mind. Tragedy touches both lives. This author highlights the inner pain of both young people in a sensitive and subtle manner.
Profile Image for Joshua.
Author 2 books3 followers
September 10, 2016
Devastating, depressing, and deeply insightful.
Profile Image for Lisa.
304 reviews24 followers
March 23, 2019
This was an incredibly disturbing and addictive read for me. Although I am about a decade older than the girl narrating the story, it felt so so real. The relationship between Tammy and her parents, Tammy and the other girls / boys, Tammy and her siblings was starkly painfully depicted. The neglectful self-involved parents are arbitrary and clueless in their discipline, as well as blatantly preferential of the other two children, one due to her beauty/compliance, the other as the cherished biological son. Poor Tammy has no one on her side as the outspoken preteen. The rigid pointless rules of the household made my skin crawl with remembrance of my frustration at the same age. In my home it was food reserved for adults, in Tammy’s it was the use of the adult living room & TV. The childcare demands on 11-year-old Tammy and even nine-year-old Steffi were so burdensome and familiar. Even the way the mother talked about her cruel husband Nick was so sexist, vacuous, and self-serving.

The depiction of the neighborhood children’s culture and community was also disturbingly familiar, from sex games where pre-teens retreated into closets to “suck face,“ to the harrowing Truth or Dare game at the end. The casual cruelty of the other girls, plus the sense of never being quite sure and needing to pretend to understand more than she really did made me want to weep for Tammy. I keenly remember the mocking, taunting, and viciousness that marked many relationships with other kids — boys and girls alike. The creepy crawly feeling in my gut when the kids find the naked pictures reminded me of how I always felt like I wasn’t quite sure what was going on and things were slipping out of my grasp — the author depicts it all so accurately.

I felt less personal identification with the Jeffrey/John Hinckley story. Although it didn’t resonate with my own experience as deeply, all the cultural references from the 1980s, as well as the actual events themselves surrounding Hinckley & the Reagan assassination attempt were intensely familiar. It brought up so many feelings about my own late teen years on the cusp of adulthood. I had worked against the election of Reagan. The attempts on his life, however, shocked and horrified me — characters who seemed historical, even theoretical, like Hinckley and Squeaky Fromm, resurrected to enact this awful, actual violence! After the 1960s were over, some part of me hoped that all that rage would be left behind.

It wasn’t an easy book to read but I’m glad I did. I appreciated the author’s skillful ability to tug on threads of memory and bring that time so vividly to life.
Profile Image for Abriana.
692 reviews32 followers
August 20, 2023
Sad, but of course. Well written, I liked this a lot more than I thought I would! It truly proves that just because something is popular/unpopular doesn't mean it's good/bad. My boyfriend and I share a weird fascination with John Hinckley Jr, so when I found this used at a library sale I *had* to get it. Thoughtful, intriguing, disturbing, uncomfortable - all could describe this readinf experience. I liked reading from Jeffrey's perspective but I LOVED Tammy. I could only read it in small parts because the claustrophobic ickiness of childhood was too much to bear, and I say that as the highest compliment that Kleine managed to capture such a specific feeling on the page.

Glad I finally got to this one that has been sitting on my shelf for the longest time! Don't let the lack of reviews put you off if this one interests you, definitely worth a read.
2 reviews
February 19, 2024
This book felt like a fever dream. It felt like a lost childhood summer. I will say for this part of the book description:

“It was also the year author Andrea Kleine learned her close childhood friend had been violently murdered by her socialite mother, Leslie DeVeau.”

Brace yourself for anxiety. I had pretty bad PPD with my second born and it was incredibly reminiscent in some parts.

The narration had me relating to parts of Tammy as a 6th grader growing up in the 80s with little adult supervision.

I felt pulled in following the storyline of Jeffrey, it was a solid build up IMO.

This book will be one that will linger for a while.

It’s dark, infuriating, twisted and I have so many WTFs to some of the characters throughout the book. There were many times I wish I could reach through the pages and give some hugs (and punches) too.
1,247 reviews9 followers
February 3, 2020
In 1981 John Hinckley tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan, a wealthy mother shot and killed her 11-year-old daughter. Both ended up at St. Elizabeth's Psychiatric Hospital where they met and began an affair. The author was a friend of the murdered child. She has rewritten the story, changing names and a few details. There's a horrible feeling of dread hanging over the whole book, while you wait for what's coming. But it seems to me that Kleine is trying to come to terms with this trauma herself. I'm not sure exactly what the point of the book is; it seems to build to a conclusion where the two perpetrators end up in the hospital. And that's it. It seemed very vague to me.
2,434 reviews55 followers
August 23, 2018
Based on an incident in the author's life, Kleine delves between two characters in this novel set in Washington DC. First story line is eleven year old Tammy's life. Tammy is the "left out "child between her younger sister Steffi and her baby brother Hugh. She is new in Washington DC and she, Steffi's world is turned upside down when one of the mothers in the surburbs murders her own child. The secone story line is a fictionalized composite of John Hinkley Jr named Jeffrey. Kleine does a great job of writing from a child's point of view on the events in 1981!
Profile Image for Leslie.
55 reviews1 follower
May 25, 2023
The cover of the book and the book description is misleading. It’s a book of fiction that has very little to do with the John Hinkley like character. The vast majority of the book is about an 11 year old girl’s life with her dysfunctional family and wealthy mean classmates. It is very loosely based on true events.
All that being said if you drop the expectation created by the cover and description it is a well written interesting work of fiction. I gave it 3 stars because I believe it’s worth the time to read.
23 reviews
March 5, 2019
Dark and Bleak

Half way through this book, I would have said, "what a book," but the darkness is overwhelming and in the end I just wanted to be done. I think Tammy and Her friends work in a way that Jeff does not. In a way I still think it is a good book and well done but truly disturbing. The "truth or dare" scene at the end may be as chilling as the two murders. If you are up for a dark ride go for it.
Profile Image for Beverly.
3,899 reviews26 followers
December 13, 2021
Wow...I'm not sure what else to say. This was so very different than what I thought the book would be. It was so unsettling and I've thought about it frequently since finishing it. Read the review included with the book cover...I don't think I could convey the contents any better than that. Just be ready for a startling read. I marked it kind of middling because I'm not positive if I liked it or not. I wish we'd done this in a book club.
Profile Image for Traci.
77 reviews7 followers
October 21, 2016
I was riveted. It alternates between two stories; one coming of age and one coming of pyscho. The John Hincley Jr. is one part Holden Caulfield, two parts Ignatius Reilly--his thoughts are Asberger blunt and when I wasn't disturbed, which was most of the time, I giggled. I found Tammy's parallel coming of age story more engaging and relatable. I know this book received mixed reviews but I loved it and it's the author's first book. Very impressed.
Profile Image for Brenda.
800 reviews
February 13, 2017
The book is well written, but the subject(s) is so dark. You have a mother spiraling into mental illness until she does the unspeakable, a young man in the throes of delusion, and a pre-teen who doesn't have the love and support of her family. What a sad story.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
12 reviews
November 8, 2018
A let-down

This book didn't do it for me. The characters were muddy; Jeffrey came closest to being well defined. I've read several books touching on subjects close to these but much better.
Profile Image for Davina.
850 reviews14 followers
March 1, 2020
This novel was a tense, slow burn peopled with characters that are all feeling trapped in some way. It was interesting to be put inside the head of the "John Hinckley Jr." character, but I found the passages about Tammy and her family much more compelling and original.
Profile Image for Jody.
45 reviews
January 9, 2024
I love this book. Not for everyone—mental illness and tragedy throughout. I especially appreciated the teen growing up in the 80s references of one character and the journey to delusional behavior for another.
Profile Image for Valerie Blanton.
163 reviews1 follower
September 19, 2019
Excellent book uniting and fictionalizing two true events in the early 80s. The two main characters are well developed. Quick and compelling read.
Profile Image for Hannah Alexander.
62 reviews
Read
September 22, 2019
I could not even finish this. So many details that were not needed dragged this book on forever. The storyline seems it would be good but the boring text ruins everything.
Profile Image for Anya Liftig.
Author 2 books32 followers
March 11, 2023
I really love this book. If you are into dark thrillers that are meticulously written, this is the one for you. It really rolls over you like a sinister glaze--just an expert level of craftsmanship.
Profile Image for Jenny.
1,353 reviews10 followers
October 6, 2025
4.25 I really enjoyed this fictionalized story based on true events. The duel narratives kept the story going and made for a very engaging read.
Profile Image for Bonnie Brody.
1,336 reviews233 followers
December 8, 2015
Two narratives, told in the course of one year, present a fictional John Hinckley Jr. and an eleven year old girl whose friend is murdered by her own mother.

Jim is one of those guys who doesn't seem to be able to succeed in anything he does. He has a critical father and an almost obsequious mother. He carries both of their inner voices inside of him - the negative and critical father and the 'I know you can do it' mother. A lack of self-confidence and a narcissistic image of himself compete for his personality.

Tammy is the child of a modern blended family. She lives with her step-father Nick, critical and cruel, along with a cute sister who gets the positive attention, and a brother who is the biological son of Nick and her mother. Tammy has a friend named Kirin whose mother is thought to be odd. It is clear in the book that she suffers from a severe mental illness with command hallucinations that eventually lead her to kill Kirin in her sleep.

This novel takes the reader through the lives of both Tammy and Jim as they search for inner meaning and a way to express themselves. Unfortunately, the novel did not succeed for me. I did not like the author's narrative style and could not identify with Tammy. Jim seemed like a stereotype without the complexity he deserved. I finished the book and scratched my head. The denouement, just a very short part of the novel, seemed to come from nowhere and was very unrealistic.
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