Como algo que el mar devuelve a la orilla, Rothko Taylor ha regresado a su ciudad natal. Han pasado quince años desde que la dejó atrás y quizás, piensa, debería haber comenzado de nuevo en algún lugar donde nadie supiera su nombre.
Aquí el pasado avanza hacia elle a toda velocidad: los chicos que patinan por la calle principal y le devuelven a su adolescencia; los bancos astillados frente al mar donde su madre, Meg, apuraba las latas; la zona acomodada donde su padre, Ezra, intentó y no logró construir un hogar feliz. Y el bloque de Dionne. Dionne, hermosa y extraordinaria, la única persona que alguna vez le miró y vio lo que había en su interior.
Entonces, abrumade y con miedo, se hundió bajo la superficie, en el caos. Pero logró salir con vida. Y esta vez, Rothko está decidide a que las cosas sean distintas.
Diez años después de su última novela, Kae Tempest regresa con una conmovedora historia sobre la familia y el perdón; la redención y la expiación; el deseo y el abandono; la identidad y la comunidad. Sobre aquello que buscamos cuando nos escondemos y lo que puede encontrarnos, si nos atrevemos a dejarnos ver.
One of those earth shattering, mind altering and once in a blue moon books. The experience is somewhat like reading Euphoria in the hands of a poet with lived experience. I’ve said it many times but I’ll say it again, Kae Tempest is a stone cold genius.
most enjoyable reading experience I have had in a long time, loved every aspect of this from the characters to the sense of place to the language !! Kae Tempest is my 🐐
A beautifully written and captivating story that is absolutely heart wrenching at times, yet ultimately full of hope. Tempest is truly a master of language and writes with such emotional depth. Rothko is a character that will stay with me for a long time. Can’t wait to see Tempest at Louisiana Literature this summer!
4.5 stars: A polyphonic story set in three distinct acts, following the vicissitudes of protagonist Rothko Taylor’s life upon their return to the coastal town of Edgecliff where they grew up, after 15 years of time on hold. Such a masterpiece in all respects — from form and structure to character and themes (of queerness, intimacy, fear, loneliness, love, loss, atonement).
I’ve never read anything so reminiscent of a concerto. The novel feels so vast, despite it only taking place within just 24 hours in a suffocatingly-small seaside town. Kae Tempest is a master storyteller, stretching and bending time and space through rhythmic precision and musicality. We ebb and flow through the cadences of Rothko’s life, and how devastatingly beautiful it is to see the world through their eyes. We also enter the interiority of the characters who orbit around/have imprinted upon Rothko, who all come off the page fully-formed and glittering with breath.
I felt myself pulled along by the story’s currents, the crescendoes and diminuendos created by language, folding space and time. It deposited me on a new part of the shore, where the sand is slightly softer, the light revealing a little more of the world’s ugliness and its beauty.
I really love the James Baldwin quote as the epilogue: ‘Time passes and passes. It passes backward and it passes forward and it carries you along, and no one in the whole wide world knows more about it time than this: it is carrying you through an element you do not understand into an element you will not remember. Yet, something remembers — it can even be said that something avenges: the trap of our century, and the subject now before us.’
(It’s 1am and I have zero idea whether this makes any sense)
“cossos. tan previsibles, tan normals, però si els empenys fins al límit són capaços de gestes increïbles”.
quina abraçada la compassió amb què kae tempest tracta els seus personatges. com amb tot el que fa, et sents embolcallat per una tendresa feixuga i trista i esperançadora de la qual sento que encara tinc molt a aprendre. profundament agraïda de poder tenir les seves paraules a l’abast, en la forma que siguin. un regal.
(alguns problemes amb la traducció. tants castellanismes per què? Ganes de llegir-lo en anglès.)
Having Spent Life Seeking is hopeful, painful, renewing, ugly, beautiful. Disorienting and empathetic, you lurch between characters, stand in their shoes and understand.
It is technically stunning and life affirming in its patient yet firm movements towards love, love of self.
As painful as it is at times, Kae treats the reader and characters with tenderness. While reading, you are trusted. Trusted to care, trusted to stay present alongside harm and to continue allowing hope space, and trusted to believe in and bear witness to humanity.
Most beautiful, most heartbreaking acknowledgment I have read.
I have a backlog of reviews to write but will return
Ich würde gerne 7 Sterne vergeben. Das war so bildhaft und berührend und hart und herzerreißend gleichzeitig. Die Sprache war so toll und nah, ich hab beim Lesen alles vor mir gesehen und die Charaktere kamen mir so echt und vielschichtig vor. Lest das alle (wenn ihr bereit dazu seid, viel zu weinen)
TW: Suizidversuch, sexualisierte Gewalt, drug abuse, Homo- und Transphobie
The point isn't to feel good, the rushing water told them. The point is to feel.
kae tempest vino a madrid a presentar este libro, y recitó una parte del libro y fue una locura. es lo más cerca que he estado a un concierto suyo, y cuando era pequeña me obsesioné con let them eat chaos así que en la feria del libro sabía que este era el que quería comprar.
me da un poco de pena que no me haya encantado. estoy pendiente de que naiara lo acabe y lo pongamos en común, sobre todo desde una perspectiva no binarie / trans que yo, por mucho que esté rodeadísima de personas nb / trans masc, no vivo y no he tenido que buscar y rebuscar referentes como rothko.
porque creo que mucha de la importancia radica ahí, en tener protagonistas nb con toda la normalidad del mundo. mi problema ha sido un poco... todo el resto.
ayer describiéndoselo a mazu dije "muy dramático". pero siento que, sobre todo, no le podía quitar una cierta cualidad de libro de adolescentes. por lo radical de los eventos, por la forma de narrar... (eso sí, las partes que parecían poemas / rap me encantaban, oía a kae según leía). es que era todo muy intenso. demasiado.
me ha costado empatizar y entrar en la historia, y creo que espera más travesía del género de la que ha habido. y justo en el momento más "revelador", se me ha quedado corto de intensidad. no sé.
bueno, no quería ser yo quien dijera cosas malas de este libro, tengo mucha admiración a kae tempest y ojalá escriba muchas más novelas con personajes queer en el centro!
And while I am completely engulfed in my sadness, I am happy to sense that you exist, beautiful one. I am happy to have flung myself without fear into your beauty just as a bird flings itself into space. I am happy, dear, to have walked with steady faith on the waters of our uncertainty all the way to that island which is your heart and where pain blossoms. Finally: happy.
—Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by Ulrich Baer
*
Time passes and passes. It passes backward and it passes forward and it carries you along, and no one in the whole wide world knows more about time than this: it is carrying you through an element you do not understand into an element you will not remember. Yet, something remembers - it can even be said that something avenges: the trap of our century, and the subject now before us.
—James Baldwin
without searching out titles specifically to celebrate Pride, this is my fifth related book to read this month & the most powerful. so glad it was selected for Service95’s book club June pick, as that’s how it got on my radar (& quite surprised to only see one gr friend having noted it as “want to read”… at least so far) & definitely recommend.
great recommendation from the queen of book clubs herself. Dua Lipa did not disappoint!! Really liked reading it, especially the end. Solid 3.5 to 4 ⭐️
Having Spent Life Seeking doesn’t feel like it should be a tender novel. Its protagonist, Rothko, is newly out of prison and trying to build a life out of the rubble of their past.
Despite seemingly everything going against them — their history of substance abuse and the decisions that brought them to incarceration, their troubled childhood and family, the uncertainty of their gender identity and the discrimination they faced, their unstable housing and employment situation — Rothko is determined to make a fresh start, and to make it stick.
This is a novel about life in its ugliness and in its beauty, and Kae Tempest’s poetic writing crafts a story that wrenches and uplifts the heart, often simultaneously. I wasn’t familiar with Tempest’s work prior to reading this novel, but he is most known as a spoken-word performer, and there is a section in one chapter in this novel where that is particularly clear. This section, and the other moments in which the narrative really finds a rhythm, were my favorites for the way they blended form and emotion into the narrative.
Where the novel struggles a bit is when it takes us away from Rothko’s perspective. There are a few chapters that slip into the POVs of other characters. And while these characters are interesting enough, they did not offer the same beautiful complexity as did the protagonist, and I mourned any page that pulled us away from Rothko’s mind.
A well-written novel with a lot of emotional depth that unfortunately did not leave as much of an impact on me as I had hoped.
Its always difficult with books like this where I can't quite pinpoint what was missing but I know that something was definitely missing which is why I didn't connect with it.
The only thing I can think of is the writing style. It felt like the book was trying too hard to be a tearjerker and ended up having the opposite effect on me.
Its a good book but a one-time "fine" read for me.
"Como puede ser que una cosa tan etérea como la vida pese tanto la mayor parte del tiempo"
Habiendo escuchado a Kae Tempest hablar de su infancia y adolescencia en Inglaterra y habiendo visto el camino transformador que ha recorrido su vida los últimos años, no puedo evitar preguntarme cuántas de estas reflexiones han llegado a Tempest en Los momentos que más las necesitaba, igual que con su protagonista.
Un libro profundamente personal, lleno de compasión y esperanza, capaz de ver más allá del dolor y comprender, pero no por ello olvidar. Lejos de una simplicidad de aceptación sin condiciones, Tempest acepta sombras y luces, pero es capaz de dejar atrás aquello que impide el crecimiento.
Ciertamente un libro que me hubiera encantado encontrar en diferentes momentos de mi vida.
ik vond dit hele mooie read! best rauw en pijnlijk, maar ook heel hoopvol en zacht. ik vind het fijn als een boek hun best doet het leven te vatten, de mooi maar zeker ook de 'lelijk'. hoe er met taal en perspectief gespeeld werd, ook omtrent identiteit en het benadrukken van het verschil tussen zelfperceptie en andermans' blik, vond ik leuk. heel soms een beetje tryhard voor mij als het heul spokenword werd, maar dat was maar heel soms. 4.5 sterren voor dn Kae!
literally one of the best books I've ever read in my whole life feelings were felt tears were shed characters were related to prose was flawless *insert meme of the small chick saying 'don't even joke lad'*
Este es un libro, donde lo primero que llamó mi atención fue que el pronombre del protagonista era neutral (elle). Y, si bien el relato acompaña a Rothko, un personaje no binario, estamos frente a una historia universal de búsqueda del lugar en el mundo, una búsqueda que se repite en cada personaje presente: la madre, el padre, la hermana, el amigo, la amiga, etc.
Una vida buscando se divide en tres partes y con ellas te das el tiempo de encariñarte, y vivir este ambiente gris, lluvioso y frío inglés, y aprovechar todo el calor de lo humano de cada uno de los participantes. Un libro que en su transcurso anduvo bien, pero que el final conquistó mi corazón para lograr las 5 estrellas.
Muy recomendado.
Un dato no menor, el autor es además poeta y rapero 👀
Really devastating and beautiful. Ali Smith called it powerful and merciful on the back cover and I'd agree with that, there was a wonderful element of mercy and hope that filtered through. Gorgeous.
Too damn sad and too much trauma tbh. Felt like the small town in Broadchurch / Happy Valley and I don’t wanna live in that world anymore!! Picked it up coz she’s a great playwright but the staccato writing didn’t translate to a novel for me. Sad
I feel like I’m always saying things are visceral or emotive or lyrical but this really was genuinely all those things the most ever.
The first 10-15pages really blew me away - just every word was perfect and so thought of - can really see how it took him 10years to write.
Just amazing
I think coz I know his lyrics and songs and voice so much I could hear that throughout and really felt his voice and rhythm and it felt familiar in a lovely way. Defo could hear know yourself and hold your own and grace throughout this!
Just such attention to little simple details that make it all feel so real and imaginable like I really properly saw and understood everything ‘Sarai stood outside the hospital and pushed the back of her head against the wall. Felt the gristle of bricks against her skull and exhaled as long as she could’
I think I also read this at a time when I was feeling lots of gratitude and perspectives on the hard and good of life: ‘Rothko opened their palms to catch the raindrops, watched the water bouncing out of the cup of their hands. Focused on what was really there. ‘Thank you,’ they said to the rain as it bounced. There was so much to be grateful for’
‘until…they were pinned down by an ugly sleep’ lovely
And all the trans queer stuff and the way that was done was bloody beautiful n so natural and realistic and stripped back in a lovely way
Really made me go back and listen to a lot of his music and read the lyrics through again which has been lovely
There’s more I wanna say about the end sections but spoilers!
This was such a deeply moving, raw, emotional read. It’s a story, both captivating and heart-wrenching, which explores gender identity with empathy and sensitivity.
It’s a character-driven novel which follows Rothko - using the pronouns they/their. The narrative takes us on a journey where Rothko struggles to find their true self amidst a world where acceptance does not come easy, if at all.
It begins in 2026, when Rothko has been out of jail for six months; after spending 15 years in there. It explores their time in prison; how the world has changed during those 15 years; and their reflections on the past. What comes across is Rothko’s vulnerability and I was rooting for them, even before I knew why they had been in prison.
The second part goes back to 2006, and we find out about Rothko’s earlier years; the unstable family and school life; and the exploration of their sexuality. It’s a tough read in places, and really made me reflect on how it can be so easy to judge someone just by the way they look. The frustration and indecision in Rothko’s mind is clear to see, and you just want someone to step in and give them a helping hand.
It’s also a beautiful love story; about being who you want to be, and finding your people - those who will accept you for whoever you want to be. I thought it was a beautifully written piece of literary fiction which explores gender identity in a compassionate way.
I was sent a proof of this book by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.