Petty Postmortem: A Passive-Aggressive Dissection of My Worst Relationships

by C.M. Lowe

Have you ever ended a relationship and thought, “What was that about?” Have you ever been dumped by someone you were too hot for and wondered why you hadn’t left first? Have you ever found yourself single and exhausted at the idea of starting over again? Have you sworn off relationships altogether? Is there still a part of you that desperately wants to find love, despite the bad experiences in your past?

I’ve been there, too. I’ve been baffled by the end of a relationship, confused as to why I was in it to begin with, and worn down by being one of the last in my friend group to find their forever person. So, I’ve decided to exhume the corpses of my past relationships and cut open the remains, in hopes of finding answers.

How long was the relationship dead? What killed it? Was I an unknowing accomplice to murder? This collection of essays and poems will attempt to answer those questions and more.

One thing I know for certain is that people deserve to find love. So if you’ve ever been curious as to what went wrong in your own relationships, join me in this Petty Postmortem. But be it’s going to get messy.

187 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 14, 2026

Reviews

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A hilariously relatable, scathing takedown of the ways we women will mentally bend over backwards to settle for less than what we deserve — until reality kicks in and we decide that we're worth more than less than adequate. C.M. Lowe's Petty Postmortem is equal parts self-deprecating memoir, part trauma bonding session with a dear friend over coffee or drinks. These are the sort of stories that make you lean in, groan in anguish and empathy, and want to give your best friend a hug, pat on the back, and a shot of vodka for surviving and moving forward.
Are you ready to get Petty? It's never felt so right.