When I heard the ad on the radio for the new Matthew Bartlett book, I knew I had to have it. The Amazon guy chucked it at my house as if it had bitten him, but I had no issues handling it. I'm not going to read it, but the mere act of owning it has done wonders for my physical and mental health. I am now the smartest person I know, and when I have sex my eyes and ears pop out like one of those Panic Pete toys. I can now use my psychic skills to spy on other people who own this book, which currently tallies about 5-10, but will surely grow once everyone sees this review and instantly orders a copy. Not to read, obviously. Just to make you a Ligotti-Chad.