Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn't Expect

by Connally Gilliam

Turning our culture's Sex in the City worldview completely upside down, Revelations of a Single Woman celebrates God's enticing, life-giving promises, even when life takes you down a path you didn't plan for. Connally Gilliam explores what it means to live in a world for which her mother never could have prepared her. Through this collection of thoughtful, honest, and humorous memoirs, the author delves into what it really means to be “the remainder” in a world that caters to couples, and what it means to be the one who lives out moral values that her peers think died in the sixties. As readers walk with Connally through each humorous and poignant experience, they will discover that God doesn't promise happiness somewhere in the future, but abundant life in the here and now.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian Living, Memoir, Christianity, Faith, Religion, Womens

240 pages, Paperback

First published December 26, 2005

About the author

After 20 years in the DC area, Connally Gilliam has relocated back to her home town, Charlottesville, VA. Connally holds both a BA and MT in English from the University of Virginia (also in Charlottesville) and her MA in Theological Studies from Regent College (Vancouver, BC), where she also serves on the Board of Governors.

Serving locally, nationally, and internationally with the US Navigators, through her speaking, writing and mentoring, Connally brings the warm, strong, and revelatory light of Jesus Christ -- often through the confusing questions surrounding singleness, sexuality, gender, loss and race -- to the hearts and minds of women and men.

Reviews

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is written by an awesome gal who goes to The Falls Church...my former stomping ground in NOVA. I'd recommend this to all my fellow females struggling w/ their singlehood...but especially for those of us who've been at this longer! I even recommended it to a former boyfriend (still a dear friend) b/c it has such a succinct, clear depiction of a woman's heart and even some really useful advice about healthy relationships and boundaries. Highly applicable and an honest, funny, inspiring read.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was like sitting down to coffee with an older sister - one who could share some wisdom through her been-there, done that stories. Although Gilliam focuses on the challenges faced by unintentionally single women in our culture, she shares practical counsel for anyone who finds themselves in a "life they didn't expect".

Gilliam does not shy away from some of the more gritty struggles that single women encounter - she addresses everything from stress in mother-daughter relationships to unfulfilled sexual desires. But, far from being a pity party, this book encourages single women to make good use of the struggles they face. The underlying theme of the book is "life is hard, but God works through the hard stuff". Gilliam discusses the "hard stuff" with wit and a sense of deep joy.

I highly recommend this book for all unintentionally single women, and for those in our lives who seek to understand us and love us well.

(One caveat - this book is written by an older (late 30's) single woman to an older audience. I don't think I would have appreciated it so much in my early 20's. That being said, I think it is still full of practical wisdom for anybody struggling with unmet life desires.)

[Karah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful insights. It took a while to get going but I finished. Connally feels lesser for not being married. At her age, her mother and grandmother were married with children. She finds it difficult to not view singleness as a curse. How many of us don't fee that way? In closing, a good way to start the New Year with a Christian heart.

[Bailey Marissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m crying; I feel seen.

Recommended 14+ for topics younger readers may not understand

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not a book I normally would have picked up, because as a single woman, I know all about being a single woman so why do I want to read about someone else being a single woman? But I was in a little bookstore, and this book jumped out at me. Some of the chapter titles were intriguing: "Men - Who Needs Them?" and "So, Why Aren't You Married?" I liked the few passages I read at random, and I liked the author bio. Gilliam, as of the time of printing, is a single woman in her late 30s who works in DC and "loves sharing coffee with friends and discovering how God is real, even in a crazy, changing, and unintentionally single world." My reason for not reading this book ended up becoming my basis for liking it. With similar backgrounds and religious values, I immediately related to her and appreciated what she had to say.

Because I'm pretty content with my singleness at the moment, I don't think about it much. I liked that this book made me stop and ponder. It was good for me in a self-evaluating/self-knowing sort of way. Gilliam discusses different aspects of singleton-dom, things like relationships with parents, the struggle to determine how much of yourself to give to your work, the adjustments to be made when your friends get married, the sometimes overwhelming number of options single women have nowadays. What I liked most was that all of her questions led her back to God. I appreciated her honesty about her experiences, her struggles and questions and her faith.

[Natalie Weber · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend mentioned this book to me several years ago after hearing the author on a radio program. I made a mental note of it, but didn’t pursue it because I usually try to avoid reading books on singleness and relationships. Basically, I’d rather focus on other things than my relationship status, as I find that the latter tends to be more depressing than helpful. However, another friend gave me a copy of this book recently, thinking I might appreciate it as a single young woman, so I decided to give it a try. Even though the author’s experience is significantly different than my own, I could still relate to some of the same social and emotional challenges that go with the territory. I appreciate her effort to include readers from a wide variety of religious backgrounds, but it seemed to make some of her points a bit wishy-washy. That said, she does come across in a very real and sincere way that will resonate with many single young women.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this 4 years ago and related to it so much, and I actually forgot I read it when I saw it the library. I appreciated the real look she takes at what it means to be an unintentionally single Christian woman. There was so much discussion about the need for and the common lack of community, trusting God even when it's hard, developing healthy relationships that are deep and fulfilling without being romantic, and enjoying the people God gives as He gives them.



2014:
Oh. My. Goodness.

Relate-able. Genuine. Funny. Touching.

Made me laugh, cry, and just go, "YES THAT IS MY LIFE."

Needed the encouragement and the insight this book had to offer, and I will be purchasing it to re-read and absorb.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspiring but "churchy." Geared toward women who have never been married yet full of insights for ethical single women who have been married and would like to marry again--even in a society that caters less and less to the values that sustain a good marriage. The writer's blatant heterosexism is somewhat disturbing, but I think all books invite readers to take what they can use and leave the rest alone. I recommend this book for any person of faith coming to terms with and learning to enjoy being single while still maintaining the hope of one day being married. Bottom line: Enjoy life, define your purpose in life as a single person, and trust God.

[Sarah E · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was like a draught of cold lake Erie breeze after the stuffy stench of downtown Cleveland. I bought "Revelations of a Single Woman" at Goodwill only because the author – whom I’d never heard of – was a “life coach” for the Navigators. I have a lot of respect for the Navigators organization so I figured, hey, it’s got to be worth at least 75 cents. It was – if not for the impeccable literary consciousness with which she writes, then for the profound insight she has into living life as a single, Christian girl. This is the one I might give some married friend for insight into single life beyond college. FIVE stars.

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you, Connally Gilliam, for this book about the struggles of "later," unintentional single life. I've never seen or heard some of these topics addressed before. The chapter about fragmentation, especially, filled me with relief that this is A Thing and not my own personal neurosis - she defines it so much better than I've been able to thus far. While her tone can be a little prim, I really admire her honesty, insightfulness, and refusal to place herself above her readers. If you want to understand what single Christians are facing today, read this!

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book was like having coffee with a good friend. I picked this book up at random at my sister's house and was caught by Connally's candid description of the ups and downs of the single life--mixed with plenty of humor, common sense, and Biblical wisdom. This isn't the end-all, be-all book on singleness. (As if such a title even exists!) But I would highly recommend it for anyone who's found that their "season of singleness" is lasting a little longer than they planned. :)

[Anna Josephine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is fantastic. Read it right now. Connally Gilliam helped cure me of my antagonism towards relationship books (and Christian relationship books). . Definitely a lot of "me toos" and "at last somebody who gets it!" and even a few "aha!s". Lots of good stories and analogies [the dixie cups one was my favorite]. She writes from "our generation" and talks honestly about all the pain and humor and weirdness and depth of single life as a millennial-ish.

[Sara · Rating 1 out of 5]

A friend asked me to read this to see if I would recommend it to other people. I would not. It is depressing and not very inspiring. It was her journey of accepting the fact she was single(like it it is the worst thing in the world). I want to just hug her, tell her to relax, stay productive, and enjoy being single while it last.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is honest, refreshing, vulnerable and witty. I loved how Connaly breaks down all the unchartered territory single women of the 21st century have to traverse. I highly recommend it to all single gals and their loved ones!

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much better than I anticipated. I think I thought this was going to be a deny your desire for relationship kind of book, but it's turning out to be just stories from her life, which I've loved so far!

[Lorenrae · Rating 5 out of 5]

I typically totally roll my eyes at books like this, but it's wonderful! I especially reccomend this book to anyone who loves a sigle adult gal... It will really help you understand how to love her well.

[Kathy Sheridan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was written for 30-40 somethings and for women who have never been married (neither groups do I qualify for) but I gleaned some inspiration. I would recommend it to my daughter, or any other woman who falls within the target groups. It would be good for a group discussion as well.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book about singleness (and life) I've read yet. Incredibly fresh and real and talking about spiritual things in an honest way instead of overspiritualizing as some books have a tendency to do. I definitely recommend it!!

[Travelinaunt · Rating 5 out of 5]

are you single? do you know single women? were you ever single? do you wish you were single? you should read this! it's one of the best books i've ever read!

[Bonnie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Found that this was written more for the woman who has never married which is not my case. Would have liked more Scripture.

[Dorothy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Witty and uncomplaining, this wise woman's observations span topics of familial relationships to learning to love community in what ways God gives us. I thoroughly appreciate her perspective!

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the most part, she pegs it.

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

She hits a lot of things spot on, but at times it did seem a bit too preachy for me.

[Maria · Rating 2 out of 5]

I skimmed through this book but it wasn't what I expected or wanted it to be...

[Lisa Shum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource on singleness. Good for all singles and people who love them.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard this woman speak two or three years ago and she spoke about singleness in a way that resonated with my experiences. A good book for marrieds and singles alike.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

A refreshing take on singleness.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

GREAT book! Made me laugh. I could really relate, and couldn't put it down. Great for the single Christian woman.

[Luann Habecker · Rating 4 out of 5]

a MUST READ! i have yet to find anything else out there like this! THANK YOU!

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best book on being a single woman that I've read - by far. I would recommend it - and have - to any of my single friends, or those trying to understand singles. :)