The Non-judgmental Christian: Five Lessons That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships

by John Kuypers

The Non-Judgmental Christian challenges Christians to stop judging and start leading as Christ did in word and deed. This book will provoke widespread discussion and soul-searching across the Christian community, particularly among men and Christian business leaders. Written by veteran leadership coach and speaker John Kuypers, the Non-Judgmental Christian is gripping and insightful. Pinpointed stories and lessons reveal the pervasive nature of our judgmental nature and the resulting damage to our relationships. With non-judgment, readers discover their ability to impact others soars. Marriages are turned around, children excel, and long-held grudges get healed. The Non-Judgmental Christian offers four practical leadership skills that clarify personal boundaries and break the hammer or doormat dilemma of getting other people to respond to us. Other topics include resolving disagreements, divorce, performance improvement, grief, rage, sexuality, money, generosity and workplace behavior. This book will be embraced by Christians of all denominations and includes thought-provoking questions that make it an excellent small group study book.

181 pages, Paperback

First published September 10, 2004

Reviews

[Ben Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was in incredible. More than just a guide on how to be non judgemental, this book can teach you how to love. Truly love.

[Chuck Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, I didn't enjoy this book. I'm not a fan of "how-to" books, and this seemed like a how-to book. And it seemed primarily aimed at helping people who were looking to repair a broken marriage. But as I kept reading, I saw more and more wisdom in the core concept of non-judgmentalism. And that idea really helped me as I spent a difficult period of time dealing with people who chose to attack me and my character. While I can't say I've dealt with my attackers perfectly, this book pushed me to deal with them non-judgmentally--not simply accepting their attacks like a doormat, but also trying hard to avoid simply attacking back out of defensiveness, but trying to deal with them in a Christ-like way. This process is not complete, but I am glad that I was reading this book as all this was happening.

[Lacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was awesome, very convicting.I am sure anyone could relate to.

[Veronica McNally · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awesome read - even for secularists. The power of letting go and changing perceptions and perspectives is positively inspiring.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Simply let your 'yes' be 'yes', and your 'no' be 'no.'" (MT 5:37 NIV)

After reading this book, all I have to say to John Kuypers is thank you.

I am part of a mission group this year, and I found it difficult to give love and feel loved within my team. There are multiple leadership roles that collide with each other, busy schedules, and differences in ideas and opinions that make it hard for me to recognize my purpose for being there. Many of my own behaviours and attitudes clash with my teammates, and it is easy for me to run away and retreat to myself, rather than confront my issues and bring them to God.

This book has revealed a lot to me of my own judgments and how it is affecting my relationships with my team and my family back home. The best chapters for me was Chapter 1, where I confronted my own judgments towards others and myself and how it prevents me from doing God's will. I realized that my heart was hardened from a lot of past hurts and judgments. My favourite chapter was chapter 5. I also experience the most hurt and inferiority when I compare myself to other Christians, and feel like I need to perform to live up to expectations. I question whether someone is being nice, not real all the time!

I realize I need to face my own hypocrisy, accept my own judgments and failures in relationships, and to be at peace with not being in control. I need to let go and let God, which is easier said than done, of course. I will be praying about the lessons I have learned here a lot more so I may do God's will, but more importantly, so I may learn to love like Jesus. I will be reading chapters in this book more than once too, so I can keep trying to die to myself each day.