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Ministering to Problem People in Your Church
Every church has them--sincere, well-meaning Christians who leave ulcers, strained relationships, and hard feelings in their wake. They don't intend to be hostile; they don't consciously plot destruction or breed discontent. But they often do undermine the ministry of the church and make pastors question their calling.
Ministering to Problem People in Your Church will guide you in dealing with these challenging people. Based on real-life accounts of battle-scarred veterans, this book helps you go beyond just tolerating problem people to limiting their damage and showing them God's love. You'll discover effective strategies to turn dissidents into disciples.
This time-tested book by the editor-in-chief of Christianity Today's Leadership Journal has new chapters on using social media and caring for those with mental illness. It will help you not only preserve your sanity (and maybe your job), but minister more effectively, even to those who make life difficult.
Ministering to Problem People in Your Church will guide you in dealing with these challenging people. Based on real-life accounts of battle-scarred veterans, this book helps you go beyond just tolerating problem people to limiting their damage and showing them God's love. You'll discover effective strategies to turn dissidents into disciples.
This time-tested book by the editor-in-chief of Christianity Today's Leadership Journal has new chapters on using social media and caring for those with mental illness. It will help you not only preserve your sanity (and maybe your job), but minister more effectively, even to those who make life difficult.
- GenresLeadership
206 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1985
4 people are currently reading
53 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
September 29, 2022
You should read this book if:
You’re a pastor and work with people.
You’re a Christian that attends church and wants to help support and better understand the challenges your pastors face.
You’re a pastor and work with people.
You’re a Christian that attends church and wants to help support and better understand the challenges your pastors face.
March 2, 2015
This is not a new book but a revision of Shelley's older book 'Well Intentioned Dragons.' Some of the illustrations have been updated and two new chapters on "Electronic Warfare" and mental illness have been added. Both new chapters are extremely helpful and a needed word for assistance in ministry. I highly recommend this book to both leadership and laity. Well worth the time to read and even re-read.
December 31, 2023
This was a title highly recommended by a wise mentor many years ago & has sat untouched on my shelf until now (no one who knows me well who is reading this should read too much into that fact!). It is an easily accessible title that is full of wisdom & discerning insight. While perhaps it emphasises the external problems a leader in church will face (with only some self-examination) , there are valid points raised in every chapter, nearly every page, making it extremely relevant. Well-written with stories & experiences that can be analysed & addressed with biblical wisdom, its simplicity of style doesn’t compromise the necessary message behind it all. Read with a dragon or two in mind, but this book helped me address my own heart’s tendency to see people as “problems” & as people to be cared for, discipled, forgiven. What could have easily been a very negative book was positive & powerful.
June 26, 2025
Enjoyable read. I think it will hit close to home for most leaders in ministry. He gives good advice on how to prevent problems, deal with people who continually bring problems, and how not to become the problem yourself.
November 14, 2025
On the one hand, I enjoyed the sobering stories of the really difficult experiences pastors often have to go through that seminary often doesn’t prepare people for. On the other hand, I kept thinking that so many of these situations could have been really easily avoided…
July 7, 2021
Glad my professors assigned me to read this book! Great breakdown of conflict within churches and amazing principles to be gained from wisdom and heart breaking stories.
January 4, 2023
Dragones bien intencionados
Un libro que todo miembro de la iglesia debería leer.
Un muy buen libro acerca de la iglesia y sus miembros
Un libro que todo miembro de la iglesia debería leer.
Un muy buen libro acerca de la iglesia y sus miembros
January 25, 2023
Filled with wisdom.
June 8, 2016
About This Book
Don't let the title mislead you. This is not a book on how to deal with problem people in your church. Marshall Shelley, the vice president of Christianity Today International, takes the more biblical approach and shares instead how to minister to problem people. This revised book from the 1994 originally titled, Well-Intentioned Dragons was a great resource and relatable for any pastor or church leader. The "dragons" or "problem people" are based off Shelley's observations and research conducted by Christianity Today that about 80% of pastors have to engage problem people within their church family regularly. This book contains stories of leaders and pastors who have succeeded and failed to minister to such individuals and some of these stories hit close to home.
Sometimes enlarging the frame of reference helps remind us that one mouth isn't the whole church, one critic isn't the end of our ministry, and even one church isn't the whole body of Christ."
Shelley begins this book by offering somewhat humorous stories about problem people who were sent into motion over some pretty ridiculous things. He gives several titles to associate with expected behaviors among these problem people as well.
"The Wet Blanket" neutralizes the enthusiasm for any good initiative.
"The Drill Instructor" orders people around like he or she are the commander-in-chief.
"The Anonymous Blogger" makes every attempt to air other's dirty laundry to the public without disclosing who that person might be.
You get the idea and no doubt have already attached names to those descriptions just by reading them. The truth is, he's right. Shelley brings up not just the problem people and they're more than predictable behaviors, he also walks the reader through how they develop into this person over time. He gives weight to these interactions by providing some practical ways to handle these well-meaning people.
Pastor or be a lay leader in any church and you'll have you own entourage of these problem people, but as Shelley states, that's the point. If no one is ever questioning your decisions, your actions or your own questions then how do you know you're on the right track? What happens when the "dragons" are right about you? You cannot pastor alone and you cannot grow into the pastor you're called to be alone. Sometimes the only way to refine your growth is to be refined by those rough people.
The goal in handling dragons is not to destroy them, not merely to disassociate from them, but to make them disciples even when that seems an unlikely prospect."
At the end of the day we're called to love everyone, including these "dragons" or "problem people". This book will better equip you to minister to those who need it, even when they rub you the wrong way.
My Thoughts
I found this book overall to be very encouraging. Especially the concept of overlooking the problems to minister to that individual regardless if they are out of line or convicting. Shelley did a good job of balancing the ridiculous with the call of God to proclaim the gospel and make disciples. Thank goodness the Lord's love extends past our actions when we act like the sinners we truly are.
My only critique of the book was the fact that it seemed like there were times where the white flag was raised too early and occasionally the option of just leaving the church and your people was handed out without much of a fight. That said, if you are a pastor, this book is sure to be a good addition to your book collection and a source or encouragement and helpful reminder down the road.
Don't let the title mislead you. This is not a book on how to deal with problem people in your church. Marshall Shelley, the vice president of Christianity Today International, takes the more biblical approach and shares instead how to minister to problem people. This revised book from the 1994 originally titled, Well-Intentioned Dragons was a great resource and relatable for any pastor or church leader. The "dragons" or "problem people" are based off Shelley's observations and research conducted by Christianity Today that about 80% of pastors have to engage problem people within their church family regularly. This book contains stories of leaders and pastors who have succeeded and failed to minister to such individuals and some of these stories hit close to home.
Sometimes enlarging the frame of reference helps remind us that one mouth isn't the whole church, one critic isn't the end of our ministry, and even one church isn't the whole body of Christ."
Shelley begins this book by offering somewhat humorous stories about problem people who were sent into motion over some pretty ridiculous things. He gives several titles to associate with expected behaviors among these problem people as well.
"The Wet Blanket" neutralizes the enthusiasm for any good initiative.
"The Drill Instructor" orders people around like he or she are the commander-in-chief.
"The Anonymous Blogger" makes every attempt to air other's dirty laundry to the public without disclosing who that person might be.
You get the idea and no doubt have already attached names to those descriptions just by reading them. The truth is, he's right. Shelley brings up not just the problem people and they're more than predictable behaviors, he also walks the reader through how they develop into this person over time. He gives weight to these interactions by providing some practical ways to handle these well-meaning people.
Pastor or be a lay leader in any church and you'll have you own entourage of these problem people, but as Shelley states, that's the point. If no one is ever questioning your decisions, your actions or your own questions then how do you know you're on the right track? What happens when the "dragons" are right about you? You cannot pastor alone and you cannot grow into the pastor you're called to be alone. Sometimes the only way to refine your growth is to be refined by those rough people.
The goal in handling dragons is not to destroy them, not merely to disassociate from them, but to make them disciples even when that seems an unlikely prospect."
At the end of the day we're called to love everyone, including these "dragons" or "problem people". This book will better equip you to minister to those who need it, even when they rub you the wrong way.
My Thoughts
I found this book overall to be very encouraging. Especially the concept of overlooking the problems to minister to that individual regardless if they are out of line or convicting. Shelley did a good job of balancing the ridiculous with the call of God to proclaim the gospel and make disciples. Thank goodness the Lord's love extends past our actions when we act like the sinners we truly are.
My only critique of the book was the fact that it seemed like there were times where the white flag was raised too early and occasionally the option of just leaving the church and your people was handed out without much of a fight. That said, if you are a pastor, this book is sure to be a good addition to your book collection and a source or encouragement and helpful reminder down the road.
March 24, 2017
While the book is largely addressed to Pastors, Ministers, and other church spiritual leaders, the average ministry leader and church member can learn much from its pages.
The first part of the book goes into the different types of "dragons", those people in every church who do not necessarily intend to cause turmoil and conflict, but routinely do. The second part discusses various ways to handle these people and the situations they instigate, including reminding yourself that often pain or misunderstanding of some sort is what fuels them and that they are also God's beloved children.
I appreciated the many examples given throughout the book, even though they were sometimes hard to read. I also liked that wisdom was garnered from many different faiths and from across the US. This combination made what the author was trying to share easy to understand and apply. I saw moments where I had stepped into the dragon role, however temporarily I may have stayed there. And I gained insights that I know will help me as I deal with those who add turmoil within the ministry I lead.
The first part of the book goes into the different types of "dragons", those people in every church who do not necessarily intend to cause turmoil and conflict, but routinely do. The second part discusses various ways to handle these people and the situations they instigate, including reminding yourself that often pain or misunderstanding of some sort is what fuels them and that they are also God's beloved children.
I appreciated the many examples given throughout the book, even though they were sometimes hard to read. I also liked that wisdom was garnered from many different faiths and from across the US. This combination made what the author was trying to share easy to understand and apply. I saw moments where I had stepped into the dragon role, however temporarily I may have stayed there. And I gained insights that I know will help me as I deal with those who add turmoil within the ministry I lead.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews