I Hate Piñatas: Surviving Life's Unexpected Surprises

by Heather Maloy

I Hate Piñatas was the 2015 Independent Publisher Book Awards' Gold Medalist - Best Adult Non-Fiction E-Book and was given an Honorable Mention in the 2015 San Francisco Book Festival as well as 2015 Indie Excellence Awards' Finalist - Memoir.


Heart surgery doesn't happen in a vacuum. This is what Heather Maloy learned first-hand when her son, Colman, was diagnosed in utero with a combination of congenital heart defects which are fatal without surgical intervention. I Hate Piñatas is a compelling story of hope and strength that vacillates between heartbreaking and outrageously funny as Maloy takes you through what three heart surgeries in three years looked like for one family.


Author's I Hate Piñatas is not an inspirational book, but rather a true and honest account of what we went through as a family. In my quest to keep it real, there are curse words contained within the story. However, it's my hope that this book will leave you feeling inspired.

Genres: Memoir

227 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 24, 2015

Reviews

[Inga · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maloy has been facing an almost unimaginable challenge: a son born with a heart defect that puts him on the edge of life and death. "I Hate Piñatas" is funny and dark and real, as Maloy deals with marriage, extended family, in-laws (OMG!), career, and way too many days and nights spent in hospitals. All of us moms have dealt with health scares and worried about our children's futures: read "I Hate Piñatas" to laugh about the things you were afraid to even think, let alone say out loud.

[J. A. Lewis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heather Maloy's Memoir about having a child with a major heart defect (HRHS) and the subsequent surgeries to correct the condition in order for her son, Colman, to have a somewhat normal life, is often written "tongue in cheek". Heather's dark sarcastic outlook is sometimes funny, but often times, not. Her constant put down of her in-laws made me cringe and hopefully these poor people have passed on so as not to read such rhetoric about themselves. Her referral to thoughts of "killing their dog" by rolling up their electric window just didn't seem that funny to me. If they felt that way about owning a dog, probably shouldn't have gotten one in the first place. I did feel for her having to go through such horrendous things with an infant/toddler. I felt even worse for Colman having to endure such things. While she is a good author, maybe toning down on the sarcasm might have made me like this book more. I pray Colman's life has been a good one since his third surgery.

[Janice · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had my attention from the very beginning. Couldn't sleep the night before my cataract surgery and this book didn't help. I kept reading until it was time for me to get up and get ready. At least it kept my mind off my anxiety over the surgery while I was hooked into the book. I'm glad Heather Maloy did not hide her honest feelings toward her pregnancies and frustrations with motherhood. She was brave and gave all she could to do to fight for her son's life. Her curse words might bother some but I think it kept her memoir real. She writes very well and does an excellent job explaining the different surgeries and procedures performed on her son, Colman. Life will be difficult for Colman's future but one can only hope with new technologies, he will be able to live a long, long life.

[Mariela Bustos · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hate Piñatas is definitely eye catching on its own. This book surprised me and had me on the edge. This writer had an amazing story to share and I was glad I read this story. It opens your eyes to how precious life can be especially that of a child. I might not be a mother myself, but my heart strings where definitely involved. I don't know if we would all react the way she did, but Heather was one tough cookie that will have you admiring her and her strengths. We don't always want to admit how we truly feel sometimes, but Heather's honesty about both her pregnancies was refreshing and an eye opener. To see how Colmans condition effect the entire family not just her was what made this story so inspiring and lifetime movie worthy. So many different personalities that just keeps you holding your breath at what would befall this family and how would they hold up against the odds.

I was glad to see them overcome obstacles that could have headed in a different direction. I don't know how I would handle it if I had to deal with the unexpected as she did, but thanks to her story I will definitely be more attentive to my gut feelings, doing my research, and doing what I think is best regardless of how others view it. I found myself admiring Heather more and More as her story progressed. I must admit I had moments where I wondered if her marriage would hold, but they found a way. I felt sad to see the story end. I felt myself needing to know more informative details and how Colman continues progressing.

For all this brave mothers out there continue doing what you do best by fighting for your babies and staying strong. This story is definitely a must read. And don't let the title fool you. I found myself laughing as well especially when the title finally came into play. Thank you Heather for sharing your story with us.

[Tangled in Text · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this authors honesty and spunk while describing such a hard time in her life. I originally did not read the excerpt discussing what the book was about, and thought it would include a lifelong list of hardships, but instead it included one hardship that equated to enough for one lifetime to handle. I am a young adult and don't envision myself having kids anytime soon, but it was not hard to have empathy and feel like I related to this author as she poured out her feelings and thoughts undergoing difficult decisions. She wrote this beautifully and with her heart which is why I feel in love with this story. She was raw with her fears of not loving her child at first sight like everyone imagines, saying it took her longer than she thought. She included enough medical information so that I could understand a little of what was going on but not be overwhelmed and get lost in the titles of things. his book gave me a preview of the emotions and obstacles someone goes through when dealt something like this and it opened my eyes how to react if I ever know someone going through something like this. I would give this five out of five stars and appreciate the opportunity to read and review this book. Thank you.

[Lorilei Gonzales · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given an ebook copy of this book for a fair review.

If you’re sensitive to crude humor or language, power through the introduction of this memoir. I swear, it’s worth it. Maloy’s style might put off some, but her writing takes on a professional tone from the moment she describes the ultrasound that pinpoints her unborn child’s heart deficiency. Her work as a court reporter has undoubtedly served her well in remembering the technical and medical jargon, as well as the progression of family events. Certain scenarios are written with an almost clinical precision, but there are still those wonderful nuggets of her personality injected here and there. For the record, I think she uses profanity at appropriate moments.

I came away with understanding a little more of what my friends with dangerous health issues might go through. Also, I got teary eyed over the pain of her baby, I often simultaneously pumped my fist in the air (in my head, at least) for Maloy’s strength. This woman is my spirit animal.

[Colleen Pence · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the serious nature of pediatric heart defects can’t be underestimated, I have to admit: I’ve lost track of how many times I spit my coffee clear out of my mouth or cackled wildly, even in public, while reading Heather’s frank, no-holds-barred account of navigating her son’s three surgeries in three years. She’s a mama who doesn’t take sh*t from anyone, not doctors or nurses, her less-than-sensitive mother-in-law, or even her husband.

Also impressive? Heather’s ability to communicate, with ease, the complex nature of her son’s diagnosis and surgeries to a non-medical audience. While reading her book I found myself caught up in her captivating story but I never felt lost in the medical terminology or complicated procedures. And yet, when I finished her book, I had a competent understanding and the complete picture of what hypoplastic left heart syndrome is and the almost unimaginable challenges faced by those born with it.

[Theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won't go into the details, she knew something was wrong before birth, it was, she had to deal. And did she DEAL! One of my top 5 favorite books for 2015, and I can't recommend enough! I laughed till my guts hurt and I was wiping my eyes!!! If you can go through the horrible things Heather went through with humor, wit and optimism, I want you for my friend!

Can't wait for the next book, although I believe Ms Maloy could do very well writing other than about her son. If you like LAUGHING OUT LOUD while reading, this is the book for you! I re-read the book because of the hysterical outrageous things she said.

BUY THIS BOOK! You won't be sorry! You'll tell your friends!

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was wonderful story. About a baby who was born with a heart there so many trials and tribulations. The dynamic of family keeping it together a son Liam husband Kevin and mother Heather grasping anything

To do what is best for Colman according to all the drs caring for. Headed round the clock care. I highly recommend this it will be worth your while.

[Kelli]

Warning for parents: tears will ensue. Maloy shares the painful yet life-affirming journey of raising a son with congenital heart disease. She's a vulnerable, sarcastic Momma Bear - and even if you can't relate, you'll find yourself trying to.

[Kate O'Quinn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be interesting from a medical point of view and hilarious from a personal point of view. The main character and I are very similar in how we compartmentalize pain and deal with it in non traditional ways. The humor also helped to off set the sad subject matter. A quick read!

[Margaret Keller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic read for a heart parent or anyone going through tough times

She is real. She makes me laugh- and cry. There is so much of our own journey in there that speaks to my heart. Incredible.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful true story.