How to Be Totally Miserable: A Self-Hinder Book

by John Bytheway

Presents advice for Mormon teenagers on how to find happiness. Features quotes from various sources, including Mormon teachings.

Genres: Religion, Self Help, Nonfiction, Lds, Inspirational, Church, Humor

71 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

John Bytheway (born October 1962) is an American author and academic, who is well known as a comic motivational speaker for youth within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Born in Salt Lake City, Bytheway attended the University of Utah and Brigham Young University (BYU) in Provo, Utah, receiving a Master's Degree in Religious Education. He also served as a missionary for the LDS Church in the Philippines.

Bytheway is a religious studies instructor at BYU, currently focusing on the Book of Mormon. He also serves on the Aaronic Priesthood/Young Women Writing Committee for the LDS Church. Bytheway and his wife Kimberly have six children.

Reviews

[Kacie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Haha what a happy little book XD The book was pretty counterproductive though. I'd better revisit the chapters to make sure I can stay in my pit of misery, as was detailed in How to be Totally Miserable:D. But then I'd be violating several of the chapters and their advice (I've done something, I've taken action, and I learned something new, and I laughed and smiled! I even sang along to my music while reading....all things I'm apparently NOT supposed to do to be totally miserable)....oh well. I guess I'm stuck in a loop :p "So there you have it. You've just learned how to be totally miserable. But there is a risk--you've also learned how not to be." Now, if I were actually miserable right now, idk if I'd like this book, but who knows. It is pretty funny so I'd likely be less miserable (see? Counterproductive XD). Point is, being happy is a whole lot happier than being miserable :P

[Steven Hummer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another Bytheway book that is repedative.
He uses allot of the same stories and topics in his other books/talks a few of his books branch out but it's basicly the same information given to you over and over again with a diffrent title and book cover.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short list-type book of self-defeating behaviors. Makes perfect sense for someone who is in a good frame of mind, not sure if it would be effective for somebody who is in a miserable state of mind.

[Nathalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another hahaha!! quick read, this one by the inimitable LDS author John Bytheway. The complete title is "How to be totally miserable---a self-hinder book". This book has a personal story for me. It was a Monday morning. I had just been called to come to work last minute for a 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. shift---eight hours with a fifteen minute lunch break. I was a bit weepy with sadness over which I had no control. I got to work (at our local library) and found this book sitting on the counter. It was a book from the book sale area that a patron had decided not to buy Saturday night. I read the title, flipped through it and chuckled and knew I had to buy it. But get this! it was a whole dollar! Normally not a big deal but this is a tiny softcover book--if it had been 50 cents and I'd been all over it in a heartbeat (talk about SELF-HINDER) so I set it aside in a out-of-the way corner to think about it (duh!). My grandfather was a real tightwad or a dedicated saver (however you wish to look at it) and every once in a while, his genes pop up and I have a surge of irrational tightwadedness. Anyhoo, to make a long story short, I bought the book, thank goodness, because I am absolutely sure it was left there on purpose for me to find--because I SURE NEEDED IT! This could practically be my autobiography: Use your imagination to worry--Worry about things you can't control--Relive your bad memories--Put yourself down--Recycle regrets--Take counsel from your fears--well, these were the ones that were for me--I'm not TOTALLY miserable! Anyway, John Bytheway, in a round about and as always humorous way, gives us wonderful counsel, shares great quotes and scriptures. This is a definitely a keeper,and so no, I'm not donating it back to the library ;>

[Naomi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Basically a collection of quotes to inspire you to be happier. Easy read.

[Happy Reading Watching · Rating 5 out of 5]

This summer one of my reading goals is to read all of John Bytheway books & talks!! I loved this one, I realized I was having a crummy attitude lately and I noticed so picked this one up and it was amazing!!! This was exactly what I needed and I'm looking forward to reading more of his books :)

[McKaylla White · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is hilarious and heartwarming and enlightening all at once! After reading it I wanted to become a better person, stop being in the dumps and take action! You know you've read a good book when it inspires you to act on what you already know! I suggest this book to ANYONE - even if you don't consider yourself a really downbeat person, because I certainly don't see myself as that and I found many things I could improve upon. Bytheway's insight was very to the point and the satyr very refreshing!

[Angelina · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was trying to use the same approach as "The Screwtape Letters," but it didn't work nearly as well. Many of the passages read a lot more like advice on how to be happy, which was the point of the book, but I preferred how C.S. Lewis let you figure it out for yourself. This book didn't feel entirely consistent. Several clever phrases that are eminiently quotable.

[Debbie Deerwester · Rating 2 out of 5]

I figured this would be a cute read and give me some ideas to share with teens.
It was definitely a young adult read, with short chapters and "punny" jokes along the way.
Not exactly what I was looking for....

[Spens (Sphynx Reads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very blunt, straightforward, and honest. I appreciated this book a lot. I thought I'd be annoyed, but no. The entire time I was reading I nodded and said, "Yep, I get miserable when I do that." Highly recommended for teenagers.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short gift type book. Full of great quotes and funny insights into how to be "miserable" in life. I gave it to my 15 year old son and told him if he'd read it today I'd do his chores.

[James Spruell · Rating 1 out of 5]

Perhaps the most disappointing book I've ever read. Lacking in insight and filled with the recycled obvious like 'think about your problems'.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book

[MC · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love pretty much anything John Bytheway does! And for my negative/pessimistic child, this book was particularly appealing. It's a funny way to look at the problem, which might be just enough to help knock someone out of their bad mood habit.

Here are all the steps to be miserable:

- Only use your imagination to worry; don't have faith or use your imagination to dream, ponder, or play

- Believe that things will never change, that you'll always be in a bad mood

- Focus on your problems, not your goals, dreams, or plans; don't think about your blessings either

- Don't do anything; just wallow, or "sit and stew"

- Worry about things you can't control

- Complain about your blessings

- Think about yourself, not about how to help others be happy

- Relive your bad memories & allow your past to define your future

- Blame everyone and everything (except yourself)

- Don't take any action; stay inside & don't move

- Put yourself down; it isn't being humble, it's humiliating

- Don't set goals, don't have any ambitions

- Hold onto grudges & don't forgive

- Stay miserable, by choice

- Be suspicious that everyone has a hidden agenda

- Keep believing that happiness is a destination, not a decision

- Always want more, never be content with what you have

- Look for ways things can be worse

- Don't learn anything new

- Postpone prayer

- Avoid good company (friends)

- Don't sing

- Don't smile

- Don't laugh

- Backbite (talk bad about others)

- Sleep too much

- Don't have a purpose; just drift

- Recycle regrets (dwell on past mistakes)

- Take counsel from your fears (dwell on the worst-case scenario)

- Be easily offended

- Wait for life to happen

- Avoid adventure; don't try new things

- Assume that moping will solve the problem; don't help others

[Nita V · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a super quick read intended for young kids/teens and has some wonderful ideas to use reverse psychology techniques to help encourage people to choose happiness, as opposed to misery.
It is important to remember this book was written years ago. Saying this, the reason I gave 3 stars is I felt the all or nothing approach to happiness or misery overlooks the very real emotional pain of those who battle depression. I feel this book would have been strengthened with a letter to the reader that explains depression and encourages consideration of proper counseling and mental health support when needed.

[Kraken · Rating 1 out of 5]

got this for christmas. as a teen with depression and adhd, it is extremely unhelpful. i understand its meant to be a parody of self help books by saying how to be unhappy, but it just comes off as belittling and pokes fun of the depressed. a real help book would give you strategies to counter the traps that depression sets, but here the answer is to just.. not get depressed? all while painting people with depression or anxiety as silly for not just doing this, as if they want to be miserable.

tldr: average book for the average person when they get in a little slump, garbage if you are actually have a mental illness

[Hailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Self-help books, hm… This is a fairly new genre for me. Though, this one calls itself a “self-hinder” book. :)

This book is super short, not even 100 pages. Nice if you want something quick.

This book has a fair amount of funny parts, and was an enjoyable read. I highly recommend this, even if you don’t particularly feel like you need a self-help book. (I read this just because I was bored and it was there. And I enjoyed it.)

Again, I don’t read a lot of books like this, so my only similar book is “Becoming Interesting,” by Jermey B. Miller (which I've also liked).

[Ashley]

I... Should have known better than to read this book... I struggle with the self help genre in general and this one was just so... Trite and kitchy... There's definitely a market for this book and others like it. I knew before picking it up that I wasn't it but 🤷🏻‍♀️ it was exactly what I expected and delivers exactly what you expect it to :p

[Darcy Briggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes! Loved! It's a quick read (I actually listened), but it packs a punch! Pertinent and full of good advice, this book it awesome! And humor is always a plus! Lots of laugh out loud moments. Good one for kids 10 and up!

[Deborah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love John Bytheway's books and talks. This specific book, however, didn't really hit me the way some of his other works have. The idea is a fun one...but I don't think it was applied in the right way. Despite this, there is some good advice on living a happy (or miserable) life.

[Lina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVE John Bytheway. Who doesn't? It this Self-Hinder reverse psychology book, John describes the best ways to be miserable, which include holding grudges, replaying bad memories, and worrying about things we can't control, among others.

[Robb Menlove · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful, clever little read/quote book from someone who is truly happy.

[Susan Forsgren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many short and memorable sayings to help you stay happy.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun read for our youth. Easy, entertaining and motivating. “A self-hinder book.” He knows how to communicate with the youth.

[Remurray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book for my pre-teen son who loves John Bytheway. Great book for pointing out the behaviors we have that prevent happiness.

[Diana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook while on a road trip for Thanksgiving. Fun thoughts about putting things into proper perspective.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very short book with upbeat ways to stay positive. Love Bytheway's humor!

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very inspiring and clever

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short, cute, fun.

[Lillian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun half hour read. Good for a laugh.