A deeply moving love story and grief memoir from one of Australia's most respected and longstanding public figures.
It was a warm October day when his life splintered down the middle. She was gone in a flash. Everything changed forever.
For three months, in shock at this horror, he maintained a regime of late-night walks across the city. There came a time when he had walked enough, and so he stopped.
Bring Back Yesterday is a love story, and the account of the author finding his footing again after the death of his wife, Helena.
Raw and compelling, the anecdotes and insights Bob Carr shares will resonate with anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship or lost a much-loved partner.
'A soul-searing portrait of love and loss ... This unsparing account of a powerful man unravelled by grief is a brave gift to all who have suffered, and will suffer, the inevitable tragedy of being human.' Geraldine Brooks
'A memoir of raw and extraordinary power' David Marr
'This scorching book burns with passion and pain, but also with resilience and a defiant hope' Greg Sheridan
Bob Carr is the longest continuously serving Premier in New South Wales history.
He served as Leader of the Opposition from 1988 until his election as Premier in March 1995. He was re-elected in 1999 and again in March 2003 securing an historic third four-year term.
He retired from politics in 2005 after over 10 years as Premier.
During these 10 years the State Government set new records for spending on infrastructure, became the first government in the State’s history to retire debt, hosted the world’s best Olympics in 2000 and achieved the nation’s best school literacy levels. Forbes magazine called Bob Carr a “dragon slayer” for his landmark tort law reforms.
As Premier he introduced the world’s first carbon trading scheme and curbed the clearing of native vegetation as anti-greenhouse measures. He was a member of the International Task Force on Climate Change convened by Tony Blair, and was made a life member of the Wilderness Society in 2003. He has also received the World Conservation Union International Parks Merit Award for creating 350 new national parks.
Bob Carr has received the Fulbright Distinguished Fellow Award Scholarship. He has served as Honorary Scholar of the Australian American Leadership Dialogue.
In March 2012 he was designated by Prime Minister Julia Gillard as Australia’s Foreign Minister. He was elected to the Australian Senate to fill a casual Senate vacancy and sworn in to the Senate and Cabinet on March 13, 2012.
Bring Back Yesterday by Bob Carr. I have admired Bob Carr as a politician for many a year. I have met and spoken to him on several occasions, I have also listened to him speak and I have read several of his books. Diary of a Foreign Minister is a masterful memoir. He is a thoroughbred lectiophile and talented author.
I was enormously saddened when I heard of Helena Carr’s death and without knowing any detail, I knew it would be most tragic for Bob. They had no children so I was sure it would be a lonely and challenging task bringing her back to Australia, then arranging and being part of her funeral service. I listened to an interview with Carr on Radio National. It was then that I decided to read Bring Back Yesterday out of respect for both Mr and Mrs Carr.
I have been fortunate I have never suffered from severe grief, so for me the experiences that Carr writes about is illuminating. One way he deals with this illness that has permeated to the marrow of his bones is to walk and walk. He does speak to others who have experienced the piercing stab of grief.
He writes of the pressure he puts on himself to write the speech Helena deserved at her service. He explores Helena’s childhood in Taiping, Malaysia. He tells of his inadequacies in cooking, internet banking, clothes washing and coffee making. Task readily monopolised by Helena.
The Carrs impressed me as being a mutually contended couple. Excoriation of politicians is a favoured pastime for many in Australia. To me, this book confirms that not only was Carr a good politician but also a man who loved and appreciated his long-time partner.
In the early pages Carr touches on the White Australia policy and how his immediate family accepted it as the best for Australia. But, being typically working-class Australian Carr’s parents readily accepted Helena into their fold and then went onto visit her family in Malaysia.
Reading these pages about White Australia and Carr having an Asian partner garnered my thoughts about Australia today and the apparent turmoil (I say apparent because I believe the vast majority of Australians are accepting of others and enhance multi-culturalism.)
The author tells stories from his childhood and how experiences from this time contributed to the man he grew to be. He is especially thankful to his English teacher and his voice teacher. Carr writes movingly of a desk that a spinster aunt bought for him, and it was at that desk that he did so much in his formative years. Not long after my own father died, I went with my sister to empty the place of his possessions. Under the house I found my teenage desk, attached with contact (a recent invention at the time) was my HSC study timetable.
The book is filled with many recollections of their trips to different parts of Europe, their love of opera, art and European history. It interested me that they did not appear to have the same interest in Asia, although they did visit Helena’s family in Taiping.
Carr recalls his passion to be a politician and the satisfaction that some of his achievements as Environment Minister and Premier. It was pleasing to read this. Too often in today’s world too many people are aggressively dismissive of politicians, their commitment to their community and country. There is a pleasing recall of a visit to his own high school some fifty-nine years after he left.
Near the end of the book he recalls so many people who were part of his earlier life and who have now passed. Whitlam, Hawke & Wran are mentioned.
Throughout the whole book Carr’s grief of losing Helena permeates every page, every sentence, every story. He writes of seeing in a cupboard a honey jar that Helena had opened, of the silence when returning home in the evening, the solitude of going to bed. He often mentions what others who have experienced loss and grief have said as they dealt with the pain and suffering.
Carr discovers things about Helena that she, herself never told him. The only female in an honours class at university. The money her business lost when they weren’t allowed to bid on any government work while he was Premier. She never claimed the “I told you so” when Carr went against her advice.
Bob and Helena had fifty years of a blissful and rewarding relationship. It was all snatched away from him on that fateful evening, 25th October 2023. Carr himself turns 79 this year. We all face our own imminent death in different ways. For some Helena’s was a ‘good’ death, Bob Carr wouldn’t see it that way. Is his grief a form of selfish self-pity? I don’t fear death, it is the dying that worries me.
Bob Carr is a very fine writer, some quotes: “Mozart’s music insinuated its way into my hippocampus.” “Writing a clever plucky polemic is as good as sex.” “So much of my bereavement is nostalgia and a yearning, with hints of panic and disbelief that she’s not here, and the haunting trauma of the sudden attack. But the days before it? Innocence itself.” “ ‘I have a terrible pain in my back’ . . .With those words, her life spun towards its conclusion.”
Began poignant with promise, with an unusually appealing third-person narrative and a gentle take on grief. After the first chapter, the perspective switched and there emerged all kinds of discursions into art and opera that were too rarefied for my modest mind. But overall Carr comes across as affable, amicable and awash with a humanising sense of sadness.
I used to view Bob Carr as a successful and efficient Premier and Foreign Minister but a rather unemotional and humourless person. After reading Bring Back Yesterday, I have glimpsed another side of his personality. The book is a beautiful depiction of his loving partnership of 50 years with Helena, until her sudden tragic death in 2023 and it is a moving expression of the overwhelming grief he has lived with since then - with a few touches of humour scattered throughout.
The book also provides fascinating historical accounts of Helena's life in Taiping, Malaysia in the mid-20th century and Bob's life growing up at the same time in the working class Sydney suburbs of Matraville and Maroubra. Stories of his schooling in that region resonate with those of my partner who also grew up in Maroubra in the 1950s and 1960s. Chapters on Debts of Honour, which pay tribute to a diverse collection of people who have positively influenced Bob's life, add further emotional and historical depth to the memoir.
Bring Back Yesterday is a great read as an account of love, loss and grief, as well as some 20th century Australian social and cultural history.
Carr, the longest serving premier of NSW tells the living of his “leftover life” after losing his wife of 50 years, Helena.
I wasn’t sure why I gravitated me to this book on the shelf at Dymocks. When I really try and find an answer, I think I was drawn to the vulnerability of the book. The esteemed and highly regarded Premier writing so raw and poetically about love, loss and the after.
At times Carr repeats himself, over explains or provides minutia detail - in a way, this made the novel more compelling. A man known for his precise and elegant speech, unable to compress his overflowing feelings or recurring thoughts.
I enjoyed it. An easy day read. very touching ❤️🩹
Favourite Line:
“And I flung every line to the furthest row at the rear of the cathedral, not the front. Tested them with the length of a pause. Dared to make them laugh. A pause again, to let them know that this - now as I thanked Helena for being my lucky star - was the farewell to my greatest friend”
Harrowing but compelling. I don’t know enough about Australian politics or European art and opera - all topics covered as Bob Carr traverses his 50 year relationship with Helena, I wish I did. My sister will and I can’t wait to hear what she’s got to say about this book. Bob’s brain (and hers) is huge, but the writing is heartfelt and honest and I guess, at a similar age and stage, relevant to me. One tiny annoyance is Bob’s name for Helena or ‘H’ as she is throughout the book ( bad enough BUT), ‘my little friend’. Ugh. As he says, no one can be perfect.
" The leftover life is still one where you can fight to make a difference and push good causes. But the term acknowledges that there is something missing. The term also implies that you accept that. You accept it because there is no alternative."
A beautifully written, humble, honest memoir with poignant self reflection.
As a widow of five months this book resonated with many of the emotions I have been struggling with. Carr writes well , I read this book in half a day as it was so interesting and I admired his great love for Helena. I know little of his politics as I am a West Aussie but he comes across as a compassionate man. An excellent reflection on the effect of grief and loss.
It is easy to forget Bob Carr was a journalist in addition to being a politician. This book displays his journalist skills supremely. From whichever side of the political fence you sit, this book it is an excellent intimate description of grief for a lifetime spouse.