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Come Closer: Childhood Wounds, Adult Love, and the Secrets of Emotional Intimacy
For readers of Irving Yalom, Esther Perel, and Oliver Sacks, a profound and deeply affecting new book by psychoanalyst and internationally bestselling author Dr. Galit Atlas that reveals how our childhood wounds hold the key to understanding our adult relationships.
What is the secret of emotional intimacy? How can understanding our childhood experiences give us the insights we need to be close to others in a truly satisfying, longer-lasting, and more meaningful way?
In Come Closer, Galit Atlas invites us inside the private lives of her patients—and into her own—to offer new, life-changing answers to these important questions. Atlas has identified six child archetypes—the frightened child, the melancholic child, the ashamed child, the invisible child, the guilty child, and the chosen child—and in these pages, she shows how each childhood wound plays out in our adult relationships.
In remarkably compelling and dramatic stories of both therapist and patient, Atlas illustrates how the child within us drives our love lives, forming patterns we repeat without awareness. Each narrative will have you on the edge of your seat, living the mystery alongside Atlas and her patients, uncovering roots, drawing parallels, and reaching insights and revelations, just as they do.
No one who reads this eye-opening book will ever see their relationships—or themselves—the same way again.
What is the secret of emotional intimacy? How can understanding our childhood experiences give us the insights we need to be close to others in a truly satisfying, longer-lasting, and more meaningful way?
In Come Closer, Galit Atlas invites us inside the private lives of her patients—and into her own—to offer new, life-changing answers to these important questions. Atlas has identified six child archetypes—the frightened child, the melancholic child, the ashamed child, the invisible child, the guilty child, and the chosen child—and in these pages, she shows how each childhood wound plays out in our adult relationships.
In remarkably compelling and dramatic stories of both therapist and patient, Atlas illustrates how the child within us drives our love lives, forming patterns we repeat without awareness. Each narrative will have you on the edge of your seat, living the mystery alongside Atlas and her patients, uncovering roots, drawing parallels, and reaching insights and revelations, just as they do.
No one who reads this eye-opening book will ever see their relationships—or themselves—the same way again.
320 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 29, 2026
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Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
COME CLOSER
BY: GALIT ATLAS
I love this author, Galit Atlas, whose newest Non-Fiction Self Development book explores with the reader how crucial it is to heal our Childhood Wounds, which I refer to as Attachment wounds. We usually develop them as a very small child that if we are lucky we have had attuned Parents which more precisely can start as a baby if we don't have parents that pick us up and look at us while we are in our cribs. They need to feed us, change us, hug us, and we usually become Secure if our caregivers respond, and don't leave us in our cribs to cry. There are some parents that don't know any better which then if that happens to much we form insecure Attachments which in her work with clients she has provided us with one patient's therapy session that as a Psychoanalysis which this is the second book in a row that I have read by one which it was a murder that happened to Teresa Siever, in 2015. The author did an amazing job with how gifted she is at presenting the facts. I thought it was tragic, and the book was difficult emotionally, but fast paced and they lived a crazy life.
I read Galits prior book called, "Emotional Inheritance," which was a powerful one like this one although I found this one to be more profound, and insightful. If these Wounds aren't dealt with which she names them which makes them easier to remember, and identify them. If we don't notice our patterns which it takes some thinking, and reflecting since we aren't always are aware of them then when we haven't dealt with them they usually affect our Adult Romantic Relationships that affect how we connect with our partners which I'm more familiar with the Attachment styles. It's those Core Wounds that this was a life-changing easier to relate to because it usually can affect our love, our connections and I already know about Emotional Intimacy, but this book is an eye opener and a game changer. The Client stories with each wound really cement these wounds which we usually have more than one.
For reference here are her names that she identifies each one before the client therapy session s, but she has given us a section for each one.
The Frightened Child
The Melancholic Child
The Ashamed Child
The Invisible Child
The Chosen Child
Publication Date: September 29. 2026
Thank you to Net Galley, Galit Atlas, Avid Reader Press--Simon & Schuster for generously providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are entirely my own, as always.
#ComeCloser #GalitAtlas #AvidReaderPress #Simon&Schuster #NetGalley
BY: GALIT ATLAS
I love this author, Galit Atlas, whose newest Non-Fiction Self Development book explores with the reader how crucial it is to heal our Childhood Wounds, which I refer to as Attachment wounds. We usually develop them as a very small child that if we are lucky we have had attuned Parents which more precisely can start as a baby if we don't have parents that pick us up and look at us while we are in our cribs. They need to feed us, change us, hug us, and we usually become Secure if our caregivers respond, and don't leave us in our cribs to cry. There are some parents that don't know any better which then if that happens to much we form insecure Attachments which in her work with clients she has provided us with one patient's therapy session that as a Psychoanalysis which this is the second book in a row that I have read by one which it was a murder that happened to Teresa Siever, in 2015. The author did an amazing job with how gifted she is at presenting the facts. I thought it was tragic, and the book was difficult emotionally, but fast paced and they lived a crazy life.
I read Galits prior book called, "Emotional Inheritance," which was a powerful one like this one although I found this one to be more profound, and insightful. If these Wounds aren't dealt with which she names them which makes them easier to remember, and identify them. If we don't notice our patterns which it takes some thinking, and reflecting since we aren't always are aware of them then when we haven't dealt with them they usually affect our Adult Romantic Relationships that affect how we connect with our partners which I'm more familiar with the Attachment styles. It's those Core Wounds that this was a life-changing easier to relate to because it usually can affect our love, our connections and I already know about Emotional Intimacy, but this book is an eye opener and a game changer. The Client stories with each wound really cement these wounds which we usually have more than one.
For reference here are her names that she identifies each one before the client therapy session s, but she has given us a section for each one.
The Frightened Child
The Melancholic Child
The Ashamed Child
The Invisible Child
The Chosen Child
Publication Date: September 29. 2026
Thank you to Net Galley, Galit Atlas, Avid Reader Press--Simon & Schuster for generously providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are entirely my own, as always.
#ComeCloser #GalitAtlas #AvidReaderPress #Simon&Schuster #NetGalley
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Therapists, how often do you have clients who come in & say “I don’t want to talk about my childhood?” It happens to me all the time. And I get it, we want to solve our current problems and move forward! But Galit deftly shows us in this book that our childhood history and attachments ARE going to affect how we interact in relationships today, so it’s worth paying attention to. Galit is a psychodynamic therapist, so the book is positioned from that perspective but I think it’s still (and maybe even especially) helpful if you are of another theory persuasion to understand how childhood dynamics play into the work you are doing with clients. The book goes into different kinds of childhood experiences - the frightened child, the invisible child, the chosen child, etc. For each type, Galit gives us a clinical snapshot, and then the rest of the chapter is the story of one of her clients. It reads more like a novel than a clinical “how-to” but you’ll still learn a lot! Recommended for therapists & maybe to clients resistant to talking about childhood issues!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Come Closer: Childhood Wounds, Adult Love, and the Secrets of Emotional Intimacy
“No one who reads this eye-opening book will ever see their relationships—or themselves—the same way again.”
That's quite a claim.
Psychoanalyst Galit Atlas organizes Come Closer around six prototypes of childhood wounds: the frightened child, the melancholic, the ashamed, the invisible, the guilty, and—this surprised me—the chosen one. Apparently, being the favored child can leave wounds of its own.
Most of us, Atlas suggests, carry more than one of these children into adulthood.
Each prototype is represented through stories from Atlas's clinical practice. According to the acknowledgments, the patients gave permission for their stories to be told, with identifying details altered to protect their privacy. Their lives intertwine in ways that give this nonfiction book some of the plotting and coincidence of a novel.
I found that distracting. Narrative nonfiction is a great thing. A good writer can make history, science, or psychology come alive through storytelling. For me, when two patients repeatedly cross paths in the waiting room with hints of a possible romance, I kept wondering if Atlas invented that whole thing, or if it really was a “thing.” Same question came to mind when patients compare Atlas to Tony Soprano's therapist on The Sopranos. The author sometimes seemed (to me) overly conscious of her own role in the story.
That said, Atlas does offer some worthwhile insights. Some have me thinking and questioning. E.g.,
“It is our parents whose voices we keep hearing. The people who raise us live inside us without our permission.”
Is this true only for those with one or more of the six childhood wounds, or for all adults? I’m a mother. Is my voice living inside the heads of my children? Are they trying to evict me, or do they sometimes hear that voice and think Mom was right?
I’m wondering how universal this dynamic might be:
“Families place their shadow–the unconscious parts of themselves that they can’t bear–onto one member, usually a child.” The scapegoat. “One child typically becomes the container for everything the others reject in themselves.”
Eventually, Atlas writes, we must move beyond the need to blame our parents:
“As we grow, we separate from our parents and move beyond the need to blame them. We come to accept that we cannot change them or our past.”
We cannot change them. We cannot change the past. But perhaps we can understand how those early relationships continue to shape the people we become.
While this book was not quite as eye-opening for me as the publisher promises, Atlas offers a useful framework for thinking about childhood wounds and the ways they follow us into adult relationships.
Thank you to NetGalley for providing an advance reader copy.
“No one who reads this eye-opening book will ever see their relationships—or themselves—the same way again.”
That's quite a claim.
Psychoanalyst Galit Atlas organizes Come Closer around six prototypes of childhood wounds: the frightened child, the melancholic, the ashamed, the invisible, the guilty, and—this surprised me—the chosen one. Apparently, being the favored child can leave wounds of its own.
Most of us, Atlas suggests, carry more than one of these children into adulthood.
Each prototype is represented through stories from Atlas's clinical practice. According to the acknowledgments, the patients gave permission for their stories to be told, with identifying details altered to protect their privacy. Their lives intertwine in ways that give this nonfiction book some of the plotting and coincidence of a novel.
I found that distracting. Narrative nonfiction is a great thing. A good writer can make history, science, or psychology come alive through storytelling. For me, when two patients repeatedly cross paths in the waiting room with hints of a possible romance, I kept wondering if Atlas invented that whole thing, or if it really was a “thing.” Same question came to mind when patients compare Atlas to Tony Soprano's therapist on The Sopranos. The author sometimes seemed (to me) overly conscious of her own role in the story.
That said, Atlas does offer some worthwhile insights. Some have me thinking and questioning. E.g.,
“It is our parents whose voices we keep hearing. The people who raise us live inside us without our permission.”
Is this true only for those with one or more of the six childhood wounds, or for all adults? I’m a mother. Is my voice living inside the heads of my children? Are they trying to evict me, or do they sometimes hear that voice and think Mom was right?
I’m wondering how universal this dynamic might be:
“Families place their shadow–the unconscious parts of themselves that they can’t bear–onto one member, usually a child.” The scapegoat. “One child typically becomes the container for everything the others reject in themselves.”
Eventually, Atlas writes, we must move beyond the need to blame our parents:
“As we grow, we separate from our parents and move beyond the need to blame them. We come to accept that we cannot change them or our past.”
We cannot change them. We cannot change the past. But perhaps we can understand how those early relationships continue to shape the people we become.
While this book was not quite as eye-opening for me as the publisher promises, Atlas offers a useful framework for thinking about childhood wounds and the ways they follow us into adult relationships.
Thank you to NetGalley for providing an advance reader copy.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
When I found out Galit Atlas was writing a new book, I was THRILLED to see what she’s been up to since we last joined her on the couch a few years ago in her international best-seller, Emotional Inheritance. In her newest book, Come Closer, SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!! It’s already my favorite read of 2026 and here’s why: this book is so REAL! In my previous favorite, Emotional Inheritance, Atlas invited us to think about how emotional experiences get passed down across generations and live on unconsciously. Come Closer feels like a continuation of that conversation, but this time with more focus on intimacy, relationships, and what happens when we can finally let ourselves be known in relationships. She introduces us to six child archetypes: the frightened child, the melancholic child, the ashamed child, the invisible child, the guilty child, and the chosen child; each embodied in her adult patients’ experiences, along with her own, to explore how our early wounds can shape our ability to - as the title suggests - come close and form relationships as adults. Working together with a psychoanalyst to explore childhood wounds and its manifestations can offer something previous generations, and even we ourselves as kids, may not have had: safety, words, and the comfort of a trusted relationship to speak what once felt unspeakable. As a psychoanalytic candidate and psychotherapist myself, it’s important we learn to access our childhood selves because, as Atlas teaches us throughout Come Closer (and especially in the Guilty Child chapter), they live within and impact us in ways we might not see coming or expect. Atlas has a gift for making psychoanalytic ideas feel accessible and relevant without flattening them or making them feel overly simplified. Atlas’ smart, authentic, stimulating, and heartwarming writing style, along with her thoughtful implementation of theory, clinical vignettes, and personal narratives altogether make Come Closer deeply enticing and hard to put down. This book should be on the top of the reading list for all clinicians, our patients, and anyone who is curious to learn more about contemporary psychoanalysis, relationships, or themselves.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This topic resonated with me strongly - I think I am such a combination of all of the types (except the chosen one) :)
I really appreciated the well-researched explanations and the author's thoughts and experiences showing how each type enacts and re-enacts their childhood wounds. I learned a lot from those sections, and they'll help me as I try to keep growing and maturing and changing and processing.
However, the rest of the book is typical of so many modern books written by therapists, but I still don't understand it - they talk about their patients and retell their stories - with permission, according to her acknowledgements section - but then also say that the situations are compiled and changed enough to conceal the patients' identities. But *then*, proceed to have pages and pages of exact dialogue and detailed storylines. So which is it? If it's not truly what the patient said, then it seems like fiction to me, and seems like, is the author just making up a story to illustrate the chapter topic, or did this story really happen?
Thanks to the publisher for the early copy.
I really appreciated the well-researched explanations and the author's thoughts and experiences showing how each type enacts and re-enacts their childhood wounds. I learned a lot from those sections, and they'll help me as I try to keep growing and maturing and changing and processing.
However, the rest of the book is typical of so many modern books written by therapists, but I still don't understand it - they talk about their patients and retell their stories - with permission, according to her acknowledgements section - but then also say that the situations are compiled and changed enough to conceal the patients' identities. But *then*, proceed to have pages and pages of exact dialogue and detailed storylines. So which is it? If it's not truly what the patient said, then it seems like fiction to me, and seems like, is the author just making up a story to illustrate the chapter topic, or did this story really happen?
Thanks to the publisher for the early copy.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
3.75
Come Closer is an informative exploration of six inner child types and how past trauma can shape the way we live, relate to others, and respond to triggers. I especially appreciated how organized the book is, making it easy to pick and choose chapters based on what feels most relevant. Perhaps my expectations were a little unfair because I’m always searching for practical ways to soothe the inner child. My biggest takeaway, though, was that some wounds cannot simply be avoided. They tend to resurface at our trigger points, and having a competent therapist to help process them can matter deeply. Of course, the tough part is finding the right therapist. It has been two years for me, and I’m still searching for the right match. Personally, I would have preferred fewer stories paired with more theory and research, but readers who connect through personal narratives may appreciate the story-heavy approach. Thank you to the S&S Avid Reader Press team for generously sending me a physical review copy!
Come Closer is an informative exploration of six inner child types and how past trauma can shape the way we live, relate to others, and respond to triggers. I especially appreciated how organized the book is, making it easy to pick and choose chapters based on what feels most relevant. Perhaps my expectations were a little unfair because I’m always searching for practical ways to soothe the inner child. My biggest takeaway, though, was that some wounds cannot simply be avoided. They tend to resurface at our trigger points, and having a competent therapist to help process them can matter deeply. Of course, the tough part is finding the right therapist. It has been two years for me, and I’m still searching for the right match. Personally, I would have preferred fewer stories paired with more theory and research, but readers who connect through personal narratives may appreciate the story-heavy approach. Thank you to the S&S Avid Reader Press team for generously sending me a physical review copy!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
An interesting read for anyone battling with childhood wounds and their impact on adult relationships. The client stories and their ties to childhood traumas were interesting as well. Dr. Atlas' observations throughout were useful.
The archetypes are an interesting perspective on how wounds might impact our adulthood decisions. I wish there had been a bit more depth to the book as a whole (both in evidence of archetypes, how clients meet them, and how they heal from them). Still a useful read for therapists wanting additional perspective or those looking for continued healing.
The archetypes are an interesting perspective on how wounds might impact our adulthood decisions. I wish there had been a bit more depth to the book as a whole (both in evidence of archetypes, how clients meet them, and how they heal from them). Still a useful read for therapists wanting additional perspective or those looking for continued healing.
August 18, 2026
This book, along with “The Body Keeps the Score”, are really helpful in discovering what might make you tick and how past events effect our current/future behavior. It’s very insightful. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thanks to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
Thanks to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
I won a copy of this book in a GoodReads giveaway. I found it interesting to read and consider which of the childhood archetypes I may be. It was interesting to reflect on my childhood and how those early relationships might be impacting me today.
September 29, 2026
Amazing book! Reading it, I feel like I got to know myself on a deeper level. It really resonated with me and helped me find words for things that I wasn’t sure I could describe. Couldn't recommend more!!
September 30, 2026
Absolutely AMAZING! Come Closer is beautifully written, deeply moving, and genuinely changed the way I think about myself and my relationships. I couldn’t put it down and know I’ll be thinking about it for a long time. A must-read!!!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Come Closer is a wonderful read for clinicians, patients, and anyone interested in exploring the interiority of the psyche. Dr. Atlas identifies a variety of child archetypes that help make sense of relational patterns and emotional dynamics.
What makes her writing so special is her ability to explain complex ideas through clinical vignettes and personal stories in a way that feels tender, accessible, and deeply human. She invites us to look at ourselves and our clients with gentleness and compassion for the children that continue to live within us all.
A beautiful book that brings warmth, humanity, and clarity to the sometimes mysterious world of psychoanalysis. Highly recommended from a psychotherapist and psychoanalytic candidate.
What makes her writing so special is her ability to explain complex ideas through clinical vignettes and personal stories in a way that feels tender, accessible, and deeply human. She invites us to look at ourselves and our clients with gentleness and compassion for the children that continue to live within us all.
A beautiful book that brings warmth, humanity, and clarity to the sometimes mysterious world of psychoanalysis. Highly recommended from a psychotherapist and psychoanalytic candidate.
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
An interesting read
September 29, 2026
I am not a Freudian. And yet...such beauty in so many of these stories, and such truth.
September 30, 2026
Incredible!
September 30, 2026
Excellent description of individuals with different backgrounds and how it contributes and impacts adult life. It’s a wonderful opportunity to be reflective.
September 30, 2026
My favorite book of the year! Insightful and easy to read!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
When I found out Galit Atlas was writing a new book, I was THRILLED to see what she’s been up to since we last joined her on the couch a few years ago in her international best-seller, Emotional Inheritance. In her newest book, Come Closer, SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!! It’s already my favorite read of 2026 and here’s why: this book is so REAL! In my previous favorite, Emotional Inheritance, Atlas invited us to think about how emotional experiences get passed down across generations and live on unconsciously. Come Closer feels like a continuation of that conversation, but this time with more focus on intimacy, relationships, and what happens when we can finally let ourselves be known in relationships. She introduces us to six child archetypes: the frightened child, the melancholic child, the ashamed child, the invisible child, the guilty child, and the chosen child; each embodied in her adult patients’ experiences, along with her own, to explore how our early wounds can shape our ability to - as the title suggests - come close and form relationships as adults. Working together with a psychoanalyst to explore childhood wounds and its manifestations can offer something previous generations, and even we ourselves as kids, may not have had: safety, words, and the comfort of a trusted relationship to speak what once felt unspeakable. As a psychoanalytic candidate and psychotherapist myself, it’s important we learn to access our childhood selves because, as Atlas teaches us throughout Come Closer (and especially in the Guilty Child chapter), they live within and impact us in ways we might not see coming or expect. Atlas has a gift for making psychoanalytic ideas feel accessible and relevant without flattening them or making them feel overly simplified. Atlas’ smart, authentic, stimulating, and heartwarming writing style, along with her thoughtful implementation of theory, clinical vignettes, and personal narratives altogether make Come Closer deeply enticing and hard to put down. This book should be on the top of the reading list for all clinicians, our patients, and anyone who is curious to learn more about contemporary psychoanalysis, relationships, or themselves.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Dr. Atlas' style is eminently readable and I found the book surprisngly hard to put down. Each chapter begins with a brief theoretical introduction that Atlas then illustrates by weaving together her patients' stories and her own. The result is an engaging narrative that allows readers to absorb and internalize the theory, offering a lens they can apply to their own lives and relationships. I particularly appreciated the way that Atlas sharing her own experience, both as the therapist in the room and as a person in the world, serves to humanize and universalize the struggles each of her clients faced. It's a refreshing departure from the ubiquitous mental-health literature that pathologizes and others. Atlas literally invites the reader in closer, so that they, like her, may see aspects of themselves and their experiences in these strangers.
This book is perfect for anyone who wants to understand themselves better, who has been to therapy and desperately wanted to know (or just wondered!) what is happening from the therapist's perspective, or who just enjoys having a window into other people's worlds. There is drama, heart, care, hurt, and healing within and between each chapter. I was so sad when I got to the end that I immediately flipped back to start over from the beginning. A must-read that will stick with me for a very long time.
Thank you Avid Reader Press /Simon & Schuster for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
This book is perfect for anyone who wants to understand themselves better, who has been to therapy and desperately wanted to know (or just wondered!) what is happening from the therapist's perspective, or who just enjoys having a window into other people's worlds. There is drama, heart, care, hurt, and healing within and between each chapter. I was so sad when I got to the end that I immediately flipped back to start over from the beginning. A must-read that will stick with me for a very long time.
Thank you Avid Reader Press /Simon & Schuster for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Come Closer is a wonderful read for clinicians, patients, and anyone interested in exploring the interiority of the psyche. Dr. Atlas identifies a variety of child archetypes that help make sense of relational patterns and emotional dynamics.
What makes her writing so special is her ability to explain complex ideas through clinical vignettes and personal stories in a way that feels tender, accessible, and deeply human. She invites us to look at ourselves and our clients with gentleness and compassion for the children that continue to live within us all.
A beautiful book that brings warmth, humanity, and clarity to the sometimes mysterious world of psychoanalysis. Highly recommended from a psychotherapist and psychoanalytic candidate.
What makes her writing so special is her ability to explain complex ideas through clinical vignettes and personal stories in a way that feels tender, accessible, and deeply human. She invites us to look at ourselves and our clients with gentleness and compassion for the children that continue to live within us all.
A beautiful book that brings warmth, humanity, and clarity to the sometimes mysterious world of psychoanalysis. Highly recommended from a psychotherapist and psychoanalytic candidate.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews