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Vibe: The Secrets of Strong Connections in a Lonely World
INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER · A Time Most Anticipated Book of 2026
“A deep dive into the science of friendship, companionship, and love. Every page is an illumination! The world needs this book now more than ever.” —Reese Witherspoon
#1 New York Times bestselling author Adam Grant illuminates the surprising science of chemistry and closeness
When we vibe with other people, it fuels our happiness and success. Yet building meaningful ties is one of the most pressing problems of our time. As face-to-face interaction gives way to digital screens, communication gets outsourced to AI, and the world becomes more polarized, our loneliness crisis shows no signs of slowing.
To reveal how we can forge faster, stronger, and longer bonds, Adam Grant offers groundbreaking studies, expert insights, and myth-busting stories. Filled with the eye-opening takeaways that have brought millions of readers to his books, Vibe teaches us that similarity is not necessary for solidarity, chemistry doesn’t always happen quickly, and closeness doesn’t always take time.
Along the way, Grant introduces us to a crew of astronauts who learned to trust people they don’t like, a comedy troupe that swears by taking time apart as a key to staying together, a band that grew closer by learning to fight more, and a journalist who designed a gathering that led to seventy-eight marriages. He also opens up about his personal struggles to find his place as a shy introvert and the lessons that propelled his transformation into an enthusiastic convener. Through these examples and more, Grant uncovers the keys to creating deeper relationships and tighter communities.
Vibe will change how you interact with people. No matter how good you are at connecting, you can always get better—and help others get better too.
“A deep dive into the science of friendship, companionship, and love. Every page is an illumination! The world needs this book now more than ever.” —Reese Witherspoon
#1 New York Times bestselling author Adam Grant illuminates the surprising science of chemistry and closeness
When we vibe with other people, it fuels our happiness and success. Yet building meaningful ties is one of the most pressing problems of our time. As face-to-face interaction gives way to digital screens, communication gets outsourced to AI, and the world becomes more polarized, our loneliness crisis shows no signs of slowing.
To reveal how we can forge faster, stronger, and longer bonds, Adam Grant offers groundbreaking studies, expert insights, and myth-busting stories. Filled with the eye-opening takeaways that have brought millions of readers to his books, Vibe teaches us that similarity is not necessary for solidarity, chemistry doesn’t always happen quickly, and closeness doesn’t always take time.
Along the way, Grant introduces us to a crew of astronauts who learned to trust people they don’t like, a comedy troupe that swears by taking time apart as a key to staying together, a band that grew closer by learning to fight more, and a journalist who designed a gathering that led to seventy-eight marriages. He also opens up about his personal struggles to find his place as a shy introvert and the lessons that propelled his transformation into an enthusiastic convener. Through these examples and more, Grant uncovers the keys to creating deeper relationships and tighter communities.
Vibe will change how you interact with people. No matter how good you are at connecting, you can always get better—and help others get better too.
332 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 15, 2026
About the author
Adam Grant
43 books21.9k followersAdam Grant has been Wharton’s top-rated professor for 7 straight years. As an organizational psychologist, he is a leading expert on how we can find motivation and meaning, and live more generous and creative lives. He has been recognized as one of the world’s 10 most influential management thinkers and Fortune’s 40 under 40.
He is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of 5 books that have sold millions of copies and been translated into 35 languages: Think Again, Give and Take, Originals, Option B, and Power Moves. His books have been named among the year’s best by Amazon, Apple, the Financial Times, and the Wall Street Journal. His New York Times article on languishing is one of the most-shared articles of 2021.
Adam hosts WorkLife, a chart-topping TED original podcast. His TED talks on original thinkers and givers and takers have been viewed more than 30 million times. He received a standing ovation at TED in 2016 and was voted the audience’s favorite speaker at The Nantucket Project. His speaking and consulting clients include Google, the NBA, Bridgewater, and the Gates Foundation. He writes on work and psychology for the New York Times, has served on the Defense Innovation Board at the Pentagon, and has been honored as a Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum. He has more than 5 million followers on social media and features new insights in his free monthly newsletter, GRANTED.
He is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of 5 books that have sold millions of copies and been translated into 35 languages: Think Again, Give and Take, Originals, Option B, and Power Moves. His books have been named among the year’s best by Amazon, Apple, the Financial Times, and the Wall Street Journal. His New York Times article on languishing is one of the most-shared articles of 2021.
Adam hosts WorkLife, a chart-topping TED original podcast. His TED talks on original thinkers and givers and takers have been viewed more than 30 million times. He received a standing ovation at TED in 2016 and was voted the audience’s favorite speaker at The Nantucket Project. His speaking and consulting clients include Google, the NBA, Bridgewater, and the Gates Foundation. He writes on work and psychology for the New York Times, has served on the Defense Innovation Board at the Pentagon, and has been honored as a Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum. He has more than 5 million followers on social media and features new insights in his free monthly newsletter, GRANTED.
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October 6, 2026Another one from Adam Grant, who's both an agentmate and an editormate—a rare combo, notable because both my agent and editor are pragmatic, idealistic humans interested in pragmatic, idealistic works. Add in Adam, a social introvert with many years of group dynamics behind him, and you get VIBE, a tender-hearted book full of science. I found it thought-provoking! Affirming! Enjoyable! It was fun and meta to use the examples on connection-building to start conversations with my existing connections. "Hey, in chapter three, it says . . . what do you think about that?"
A good read for any people who, you know, want to interact with people.
A good read for any people who, you know, want to interact with people.
October 19, 2026
I will read anything Adam Grant writes. When it comes to making research compelling and applicable, he's top-notch.
VIBE seems to have two central premises:
1. How we should approach our relationships depends on the type. He identifies four distinct types of connections: associates (transactional), pals ( shared activity), allies (shared goal), companions (close/intimate). He argues that we can have close and less close affiliates or pals rather than closeness being defined by companion-ship. My pushback here is that Grant presents these categories quite rigidly (advising us to treat each of these types of connections differently) and yet, people can fluidly move in and out of categories and if we treat an associate like a pal--it's not always a blunder; it can expand the relationship.
2. "Chemistry and closeness are products of interactions not individuals": Different conditions bring out different sides of us. A successful relationship is about enhancing the conditions that make us connect and exposing us less to the conditions where we disconnect. Here, Grant encourages us to create better conditions by being more accepting: considering the positives of an ambivalent connection OR by thinking about how someone's negative qualities are also positives when viewed in a certain light. My pushback here is that there ARE individual traits that tend to promote more connection (I wrote the book Platonic on these traits) and there are some people who are better at connecting with others across contexts. In other words, I think your ability to connect is both a trait (personality feature) and state (dependent on the context)--which comes out in parts of the book, as when Grant points to the research on people being happier with conscientious spouses.
Overall, I found the book highly engaging and incredibly well-researched. There were a lot of parts that pushed me to think of my connections differently (what are the conditions by which this friendship flourishes? Falters? How can I join more groups?) I learned a lot and would strongly recommend!
VIBE seems to have two central premises:
1. How we should approach our relationships depends on the type. He identifies four distinct types of connections: associates (transactional), pals ( shared activity), allies (shared goal), companions (close/intimate). He argues that we can have close and less close affiliates or pals rather than closeness being defined by companion-ship. My pushback here is that Grant presents these categories quite rigidly (advising us to treat each of these types of connections differently) and yet, people can fluidly move in and out of categories and if we treat an associate like a pal--it's not always a blunder; it can expand the relationship.
2. "Chemistry and closeness are products of interactions not individuals": Different conditions bring out different sides of us. A successful relationship is about enhancing the conditions that make us connect and exposing us less to the conditions where we disconnect. Here, Grant encourages us to create better conditions by being more accepting: considering the positives of an ambivalent connection OR by thinking about how someone's negative qualities are also positives when viewed in a certain light. My pushback here is that there ARE individual traits that tend to promote more connection (I wrote the book Platonic on these traits) and there are some people who are better at connecting with others across contexts. In other words, I think your ability to connect is both a trait (personality feature) and state (dependent on the context)--which comes out in parts of the book, as when Grant points to the research on people being happier with conscientious spouses.
Overall, I found the book highly engaging and incredibly well-researched. There were a lot of parts that pushed me to think of my connections differently (what are the conditions by which this friendship flourishes? Falters? How can I join more groups?) I learned a lot and would strongly recommend!
Want to Read
September 13, 2026I've accidentally become an Adam Grant superfan over the past few years. His books inevitably give me a new perspective, enough to make me re-mold parts of my life around them. That's not a hyperbole. These books live in my head rent-free.
Can't wait for it to happen all over again!
Click here to hear more about this book and my other anticipated releases of the upcoming quarter over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
Can't wait for it to happen all over again!
Click here to hear more about this book and my other anticipated releases of the upcoming quarter over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!
Want to Read
March 16, 2026Looking forward to reading this one!
October 26, 2026
I love Adam Grant. This book is especially important as we face a loneliness crisis.
November 4, 2026
Adam Grant has written a book about “vibing,” which sounds like a distinguished psychologist announcing a sabbatical inside a teenage group chat. Fortunately, “Vibe: The Secrets of Strong Connections in a Lonely World” offers something more substantial: an accessible argument that human chemistry is less a mysterious gift than something our interactions can help create. Think connection, not cosmic compatibility. Grant’s most useful move is distinguishing four kinds of relationships: associates, allies, pals, and companions. These involve transactions, shared purposes, enjoyment, and care, respectively. The categories clarify why your favorite golf partner might be a disappointing confidant, or why a reliable colleague need not become your drinking buddy. Different relationships serve different purposes; expecting everything from everyone is a splendid recipe for resentment and unnecessarily awkward lunches. The examples keep the conceptual machinery humming. Astronauts must learn to coexist during months in space; Metallica needs professional help to remain Metallica. These stories make a persuasive point: connection is not merely finding agreeable people. It also involves creating conditions in which imperfect, occasionally incompatible people can function together. Grant’s accessible style turns an unwieldy subject into an inviting conversation rather than a seminar with compulsory participation. Still, the book occasionally resembles an operations manual for something that resists standardization. Grant’s carefully choreographed dinner parties, including shoe games and musical chairs, may strike some readers as delightful and others as grounds for faking an urgent appointment. More seriously, memorable social psychology experiments cannot automatically support sweeping prescriptions. An intriguing finding is not necessarily a dependable instruction for navigating friendship, intimacy, or the complicated business of being human. The book’s central strength, however, survives those reservations: it replaces fatalism with agency. Chemistry need not arrive instantly, similarity does not guarantee solidarity, and closeness need not require years. Grant makes connection feel more possible without making it entirely predictable. Read him for useful distinctions and experiments, not commandments. Then put down the book and meet someone without turning the encounter into a laboratory exercise.
November 4, 2026
I'm an Adam Grant fan. He always gives me new ways at looking at things - in this case - our connections with people. He describes these connections as associates (transactional), allies (purpose), pals (fun), and companions (care). Entertaining, with examples including his own family and his frenemy to ally relationship with Brene Brown. Listened to the audiobook.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Adam Grant is one of my favorite nonfiction authors because he's such an idea starter. I've loved several of his books, including Think Again and Give and Take, and what I appreciate most about his writing is how he challenges conventional thinking, particularly around organizations, leadership, and human behavior. Vibe was another book that had me bookmarking the audiobook to think about what he was saying.
As a Talent Development Consultant, I naturally connected most with the workplace aspects of this book. I'm wrapping up a year-long, in-person leadership development project with two colleagues I absolutely adore, and one of my favorite concepts Grant introduces is something called 'collective effervescence'. It's that shared energy and sense of belonging that comes from working together toward a common purpose. I immediately recognized it in my own experience, and I loved having a name for something I've been feeling all year.
I also appreciated how he challenges some of the things we've come to accept about organizational culture, corporate values, and even the way we bring people together. He doesn't just present research and interesting ideas. He gives us practical ways to think differently about how we work and connect with others. And while I gravitated toward the workplace material, there's plenty here about friendships, families, and relationships outside of work, too.
The audiobook deserves some attention because the production was fantastic! It's a full-cast experience with dozens of voices, special appearances from people like Abby Wambach, Megan Rapinoe, and Glennon Doyle, and clips from TED Talks and podcasts. I absolutely love full-cast narration, and the variety of voices kept me engaged throughout.
Thank you to Penguin Random House Audio for providing an advance listening copy of Vibe through their Early Listening Program. All opinions are my own.
As a Talent Development Consultant, I naturally connected most with the workplace aspects of this book. I'm wrapping up a year-long, in-person leadership development project with two colleagues I absolutely adore, and one of my favorite concepts Grant introduces is something called 'collective effervescence'. It's that shared energy and sense of belonging that comes from working together toward a common purpose. I immediately recognized it in my own experience, and I loved having a name for something I've been feeling all year.
I also appreciated how he challenges some of the things we've come to accept about organizational culture, corporate values, and even the way we bring people together. He doesn't just present research and interesting ideas. He gives us practical ways to think differently about how we work and connect with others. And while I gravitated toward the workplace material, there's plenty here about friendships, families, and relationships outside of work, too.
The audiobook deserves some attention because the production was fantastic! It's a full-cast experience with dozens of voices, special appearances from people like Abby Wambach, Megan Rapinoe, and Glennon Doyle, and clips from TED Talks and podcasts. I absolutely love full-cast narration, and the variety of voices kept me engaged throughout.
Thank you to Penguin Random House Audio for providing an advance listening copy of Vibe through their Early Listening Program. All opinions are my own.
October 29, 2026
I finished this book in just two days. I appreciate the knowledge, ideas, and passion Adam Grant brings to the table, but after 250 pages, I still couldn’t quite feel the vibe.
A handful of unique case studies, no matter how fascinating, doesn’t necessarily tell us much about how humans connect as a whole. If anything, I found the book rather flat.
Based on my own limited experience with coworkers, friends, acquaintances, and family, I believe a genuine connection can only last as long as both sides continue to benefit from it in some way. Once that balance starts to shift, the vibe gradually fades.
Of course, some connections last for decades. But I see them as the exception rather than the rule, and they don’t necessarily represent the bigger picture.
Interesting ideas, but ultimately, the book didn’t quite deliver the depth I was hoping for.
A handful of unique case studies, no matter how fascinating, doesn’t necessarily tell us much about how humans connect as a whole. If anything, I found the book rather flat.
Based on my own limited experience with coworkers, friends, acquaintances, and family, I believe a genuine connection can only last as long as both sides continue to benefit from it in some way. Once that balance starts to shift, the vibe gradually fades.
Of course, some connections last for decades. But I see them as the exception rather than the rule, and they don’t necessarily represent the bigger picture.
Interesting ideas, but ultimately, the book didn’t quite deliver the depth I was hoping for.
October 22, 2026
Full review and summary.
“I love people, but for a long time, I struggled to connect with them.” Adam Grant’s first line in this book could have come from my own diary. I’m a longtime fan, and one of his works, Think Again, is on my yearly reread list, so I picked this one up once it was published.
Vibe reminds me again why I love Grant works despite the topics sound mainstream at a glance but going deeper, Grant offer a lot of facts that we popularly believe yet scientifically not true, for example he takes apart popular beliefs like “birds of a feather flock together” and walks through how bonds form, last, and grow in groups. My favorite takeaway is why many of us feel happier with friends than with partners or kids: we spend that time differently. Chores and discipline go to one, fun plans go to the other.
Sure, connections can’t be fixed by reading a book. But this book gives you new ways to think about your relationships. Just like Adam Grant writes in Vibes, “This is an idea book, not a self-help book, but I still hope it’s helpful.”
“I love people, but for a long time, I struggled to connect with them.” Adam Grant’s first line in this book could have come from my own diary. I’m a longtime fan, and one of his works, Think Again, is on my yearly reread list, so I picked this one up once it was published.
Vibe reminds me again why I love Grant works despite the topics sound mainstream at a glance but going deeper, Grant offer a lot of facts that we popularly believe yet scientifically not true, for example he takes apart popular beliefs like “birds of a feather flock together” and walks through how bonds form, last, and grow in groups. My favorite takeaway is why many of us feel happier with friends than with partners or kids: we spend that time differently. Chores and discipline go to one, fun plans go to the other.
Sure, connections can’t be fixed by reading a book. But this book gives you new ways to think about your relationships. Just like Adam Grant writes in Vibes, “This is an idea book, not a self-help book, but I still hope it’s helpful.”
October 25, 2026
read this because rahul had it on his shelf (from a work event) and I have been trying to open myself to making more genuine connections. it’s earnestly written but uninspiring. it delivers “how to win friends and influence people”-esque advice interspersed with nothingburger diagrams and anecdata. Grant centers a lot of the advice in his own experience which is generally fine but not interesting and does not always feel well-thought out or equitable. in spite of saying he’s a facts and numbers citations guy (which feels like a redditor-type personality facade) most charts are just made up diagrams of feelings he has. I don’t think I learned new techniques from this book but I guess it at least offered an organized structure for viewing the world. also I really want to eat the jelly puzzle pieces
November 2, 2026
Adam Grant gets it.
Organisational psychologist writing about how and why people connect/vibe. Does it with a mix of story telling, research citations and personal insights from his own life.
Challenges you to look at all your relationships and categorize them as; Associates, allies, pals or companions to gain clarity over the role people play in our lives.
Organisational psychologist writing about how and why people connect/vibe. Does it with a mix of story telling, research citations and personal insights from his own life.
Challenges you to look at all your relationships and categorize them as; Associates, allies, pals or companions to gain clarity over the role people play in our lives.
October 25, 2026
Officially an Adam Grant groupie. Another winner & thinker!
October 26, 2026
I've long appreciated Adam Grant's ability to challenge conventional thinking and make complex ideas feel relevant to everyday life. Vibe is no exception. As someone who spends a lot of time thinking about relationships, leadership and what makes people genuinely connect, I found myself reflecting on my own experiences throughout the book. It's the kind of book that makes you rethink how you approach conversations, build relationships and interact with the people around you. Adam's work here is engaging, insightful and filled with ideas that stick with you long after you've finished reading. Highly recommend!
October 18, 2026
I feel the whole book sounds like a long podcast.
October 14, 2026
Outstanding book with insights about relationships I’d never considered. I am absolutely positive this will be life changing in many ways and can’t wait to see how it plays out in my life.
November 3, 2026
Vibe gave me words for relationships I'd been lumping together as "friends." Grant's split into associates, allies, pals, and companions made me see that my family can be pals, not just companions, and that not everyone wants to be close to their manager. A few lines stuck with me: "A vibe is not the energy someone gives off; it's the energy you create together." "Share from your scars, not your wounds." And "Time apart allows you to rethink, refuel, retool, and reconnect." The last chapter on family dinners, traditions, and asking kids "Who did you help this week?" was the most inspiring part for me. I finished with a list of things to try at home.
November 3, 2026
This book offers such an interesting perspective on building meaningful relationships in today's disconnected world. Adam Grant combines fascinating research with relatable stories that make the lessons easy to understand. I especially enjoyed the idea that genuine connection doesn't always require similarity. A refreshing and valuable read!
November 5, 2026
This is a sweet, "me-search" book from Grant. I loved the concept, it helped me reflect on my own relationships past and present. In the week after reading it I recommended it to three people in unrelated conversations, for completely diffenent reasons, and have referenced it at work twice. Super practical, but standard Adam Grant, pacey, fun, and insightful writing.
November 1, 2026
Adam Grant increasingly feels like a must read. He writes cogently and readably. His books are timely and relevant with evidence-backed ideas that are easily implemented at work, church, or home.
October 28, 2026
I can’t fathom a single instance in which this book would not be helpful to its reader. If you interact with people ever in your life, you could benefit from this book. Relationships of all sorts (family, romantic, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers, etc) and communication are what this book focuses on. I enjoyed it.
November 2, 2026
I really enjoyed this book on connection by Adam Grant. I especially found the parts about getting clear on categorizing relationships and not expecting anyone to be your everything.
October 27, 2026
Excellent concepts and love the varieties of stories that make the concepts concrete, easy to understand and relatable for the reader. Really like the “Actions for Impact” section at the end for practical takeaways. My favorite one is “rethink your potential to vibe”
October 27, 2026
Excellent, as always. I truly wish I had read this years ago to improve my relationships. I am going to reread and take notes.
Very worthwhile.
Very worthwhile.
September 28, 2026
The first third is stupendous. I loved the stories about Tolkien and Lewis’ friendship and the Ellis and Atwater collaboration on desegregation in North Carolina. These stories helped underpin his idea that there are different ways to vibe with people.
My favorite quote captures it: “The expectation that chemistry should come instantly cheats us out of connections. So does the assumption that our first impressions are final. We miss out on many potential bonds when we give up after false starts. Humans aren't static-we're dynamic. Our personalities shape-shift across situations and over time, and our strongest vibes emerge when we take on new shapes together.”
I also loved the story of Monty Python to illustrate how sporadic interactions can still substantiate great connections.
The story of Metallica was interesting but started to get into areas that have been well covered, particularly in numerous leadership and team-building books
But it was the third part on scaling relationships that really got away from original thought. It’s not bad so if it’s new to you then you’ll love this section! He references some stuff I love like Priya Parker’s work on designing gatherings and Robert Putnam’s seminal work, Bowling Alone. But mostly it’s just a good overview. It ends on family and rituals (I recommend Sasha Sagan’s, “For Small Creatures Such as We”) and shifts from popular stories to more personal ones about parenting and families. Again lots of stuff on this that I found too referential to be interesting.
All that said it’s worth a read. And if part 3 is new to readers it’d be a 5.
My favorite quote captures it: “The expectation that chemistry should come instantly cheats us out of connections. So does the assumption that our first impressions are final. We miss out on many potential bonds when we give up after false starts. Humans aren't static-we're dynamic. Our personalities shape-shift across situations and over time, and our strongest vibes emerge when we take on new shapes together.”
I also loved the story of Monty Python to illustrate how sporadic interactions can still substantiate great connections.
The story of Metallica was interesting but started to get into areas that have been well covered, particularly in numerous leadership and team-building books
But it was the third part on scaling relationships that really got away from original thought. It’s not bad so if it’s new to you then you’ll love this section! He references some stuff I love like Priya Parker’s work on designing gatherings and Robert Putnam’s seminal work, Bowling Alone. But mostly it’s just a good overview. It ends on family and rituals (I recommend Sasha Sagan’s, “For Small Creatures Such as We”) and shifts from popular stories to more personal ones about parenting and families. Again lots of stuff on this that I found too referential to be interesting.
All that said it’s worth a read. And if part 3 is new to readers it’d be a 5.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Wow! As a leader and educator, I have come to think of Adam Grant as a well-respected expert on the human condition. He has a remarkable insight into exactly what makes us tick. I have pages and pages of notes after reading this book which I plan to refer back to often. Some of my favorites definitely apply to the world of education.
“Time apart allows us to Rethink, Refuel, Retool, and Reconnect.”
“Every interaction has the potential to educate, expand, energize, and elevate us.”
I think this would be an excellent choice for a book study whether in the world of business or education, or maybe just to create a Vibe with family or friends. I look forward to sharing it and having meaningful conversations about it.
“Time apart allows us to Rethink, Refuel, Retool, and Reconnect.”
“Every interaction has the potential to educate, expand, energize, and elevate us.”
I think this would be an excellent choice for a book study whether in the world of business or education, or maybe just to create a Vibe with family or friends. I look forward to sharing it and having meaningful conversations about it.
Review of advance copy
Another fascinating read by Adam Grant. It’s full of interesting facts and anecdotes, along with plenty of science and research behind how to create stronger and more meaningful connections.
Want to Read
May 13, 2026Oh my goodness, I can’t wait for this release! Adam Grant’s books are always a masterclass in psychology. This is exactly what our lonely world needs right now. Definitely at the top of my wishlist! 📚✨
November 1, 2026
Grant’s Vibe encouraged me to think more thoughtfully about my relationships and the ways I show up for the people in my life. While I don’t have it all figured out, I feel motivated to start taking small, intentional steps toward building stronger connections. The sample language sprinkled throughout the book was especially helpful, giving me practical ways to begin approaching my relationships with renewed intention.
One of the most meaningful takeaways was the importance of learning to speak our minds honestly and clearly. I had encountered this idea before, but I appreciated the reminder. Some lessons are worth revisiting and reinforcing. To grow closer to others, we need to be able to articulate our thoughts, ask thoughtful questions, express our curiosity about others, and communicate what we need. I was encouraged by the idea that these are skills we can develop—that with the right vocabulary and practice, we can become more effective and confident communicators.
Another valuable takeaway was learning to accept others’ shortcomings while maintaining our own boundaries. Grant emphasizes that this isn’t about excusing bad behavior, but about extending grace while remaining clear about what we can and cannot accept. The story about the basketball coach managing difficult players brought this idea to life. We can give people room to be themselves, acknowledge that they won’t always get things right, and still hold them accountable within reasonable boundaries.
I also appreciated the idea that our rituals must evolve as our relationships grow and change. Whether with friends, family members, coworkers, or others in our lives, we need to develop the habit of checking in over time to understand where we stand and ensure we’re still on the same page. Meaningful relationships require effort from everyone involved. As Adam puts it, “the most meaningful bonds are earned.”
This left me thinking about how I show up in my relationships and what small thing I could do today to put these lessons into practice. I particularly enjoyed the suggested family rituals for strengthening bonds, as well as Adam’s reminder that families move through different life stages and must learn to adapt and grow together.
Ultimately, Vibe left me feeling hopeful and encouraged. Stronger relationships don’t happen by chance; they’re built through small, thoughtful actions, honest conversations, and a willingness to keep growing together. The book reminded me that there is always something we can do to nurture the connections that matter—and because of that, the future feels a little brighter.
One of the most meaningful takeaways was the importance of learning to speak our minds honestly and clearly. I had encountered this idea before, but I appreciated the reminder. Some lessons are worth revisiting and reinforcing. To grow closer to others, we need to be able to articulate our thoughts, ask thoughtful questions, express our curiosity about others, and communicate what we need. I was encouraged by the idea that these are skills we can develop—that with the right vocabulary and practice, we can become more effective and confident communicators.
Another valuable takeaway was learning to accept others’ shortcomings while maintaining our own boundaries. Grant emphasizes that this isn’t about excusing bad behavior, but about extending grace while remaining clear about what we can and cannot accept. The story about the basketball coach managing difficult players brought this idea to life. We can give people room to be themselves, acknowledge that they won’t always get things right, and still hold them accountable within reasonable boundaries.
I also appreciated the idea that our rituals must evolve as our relationships grow and change. Whether with friends, family members, coworkers, or others in our lives, we need to develop the habit of checking in over time to understand where we stand and ensure we’re still on the same page. Meaningful relationships require effort from everyone involved. As Adam puts it, “the most meaningful bonds are earned.”
This left me thinking about how I show up in my relationships and what small thing I could do today to put these lessons into practice. I particularly enjoyed the suggested family rituals for strengthening bonds, as well as Adam’s reminder that families move through different life stages and must learn to adapt and grow together.
Ultimately, Vibe left me feeling hopeful and encouraged. Stronger relationships don’t happen by chance; they’re built through small, thoughtful actions, honest conversations, and a willingness to keep growing together. The book reminded me that there is always something we can do to nurture the connections that matter—and because of that, the future feels a little brighter.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Organizational psychologist Adam Grant has his finger on the pulse of society and astutely writes the right books at the right time. Human connection has been at risk for a long time, from worries about the iron stove replacing time spent in conversation around the fire to the rise of suburbs replacing Main Street and community hubs. The pandemic reinforced our isolation, which, having gotten used to virtual connection, we continued—even when we could get out and socialize again—by spending more time looking at our screens than connecting in real life. Add AI to the situation and we risk forming deeper "relationships" with a bot than another person. Are we losing our capability to interact, engage, and connect? Grant dissects this problem and proposes solutions in his latest book "Vibe: The Secrets of Strong Connection in a Lonely World."
Divided into three neat sections, Grant explains sparking, sustaining, and scaling connection and in doing so, encompasses many aspects of connecting. As he writes, this is not a self-help book, but he hopes to be helpful. First, he defines four types of relationships (pal, ally, associate, and companion) and the types of connections each represents; these definitions provide foundational knowledge for the rest of the book. Grant offers varied examples from his work with sports and corporate teams where he has helped the members better connect and work toward a common goal. He also recounts examples from other professionals who have worked with well-known artist groups such as the band Metallica and the comedy troupe Monty Python and people who have resolved issues in schools and communities by helping people connect. He also discusses family relationships and the dynamics of connecting with those closest to us. Throughout, Grant combines statistics and data with his own personal stories and case studies to convey his insights of the topic.
"Vibe" is highly readable and well-paced. Grant writes like he speaks, and for anyone who listens to Grant's podcasts, it's easy to hear his voice while reading.
If you struggle to connect or are concerned about disintegrating relationships and communities, "Vibe" shows a way to understand connection and build better connections with people you love, people you have to spend time with, and even with the people you barely tolerate.
Thank you to NetGalley and Viking/Penguin Random House for providing an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
#netgalley #vibe
Divided into three neat sections, Grant explains sparking, sustaining, and scaling connection and in doing so, encompasses many aspects of connecting. As he writes, this is not a self-help book, but he hopes to be helpful. First, he defines four types of relationships (pal, ally, associate, and companion) and the types of connections each represents; these definitions provide foundational knowledge for the rest of the book. Grant offers varied examples from his work with sports and corporate teams where he has helped the members better connect and work toward a common goal. He also recounts examples from other professionals who have worked with well-known artist groups such as the band Metallica and the comedy troupe Monty Python and people who have resolved issues in schools and communities by helping people connect. He also discusses family relationships and the dynamics of connecting with those closest to us. Throughout, Grant combines statistics and data with his own personal stories and case studies to convey his insights of the topic.
"Vibe" is highly readable and well-paced. Grant writes like he speaks, and for anyone who listens to Grant's podcasts, it's easy to hear his voice while reading.
If you struggle to connect or are concerned about disintegrating relationships and communities, "Vibe" shows a way to understand connection and build better connections with people you love, people you have to spend time with, and even with the people you barely tolerate.
Thank you to NetGalley and Viking/Penguin Random House for providing an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
#netgalley #vibe
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