Relationsick: Why Putting Yourself Last Is Destroying Your Health―and How to Heal

by Lissa Rankin, Jeffrey Rediger

The body wants to heal itself. By treating your relational trauma and healing power imbalances in your relationships, you can create the conditions it needs to begin.

Most people know that controlling relationships can lead to mental health issues. But few people understand that our bodies translate relational trauma into physical, chronic, and even terminal illnesses—autoimmune disorders, cancer, chronic pain, and more.

Building on the Internal Family Systems and Relational Life Therapy models, Relationsick is a trauma-informed recovery plan that will help you rebalance relationships where you give too much and receive too little or where someone is abusing their power—at your body's expense.

Relationsick will help you break free from the fawning behaviors that keep you stuck in toxic relational dynamics. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience, Drs. Lissa Rankin and Jeffrey Rediger place recovery firmly in your hands through grounded, ethical, trauma-informed, evidence-based medical advice.

Regulate your nervous system, protect your heart with good boundaries, and heal your body by learning
Spot the red flags of narcissism—as well as the green flags of healthy, responsible, health-inducing relationships Understand fawning, over-functioning, and enabling behaviors in a trauma-informed way—so you can take charge of your health Deprogram unhealthy conditioning and set patterns that will help your nervous system begin the process of deeper healing Get to know the parts of you that cause you to give too much and keep you stuck in power imbalances that can make you sick Communicate clear and assertive boundaries, navigate existing relationships with narcissists, and decide if a no-contact approach is right for you Show up for yourself and your other relationships, so you can nurture safe, transparent, and loving connections in your life

With practical self-help tools including quizzes for self-assessment, this radical new approach to healing from physical illness and unhealthy relationships makes it clear that your body has the power to improve or even reverse trauma-inflicted illness. All you have to do is help it do so.

Genres: Health

400 pages, Hardcover

Published October 6, 2026

About the author

"Lissa Rankin, M.D., is a practicing gynecologist and the founder of The Owning Pink Center in Mill Valley, California, which is dedicated to redefining what it means to be healthy, vibrant, and alive as a woman in the twenty-first century."
- from the back cover of What's Up Down There?

"Lissa Rankin began painting in 1991, while in medical school and has been exhibiting her art in galleries and museums nationally since 2001. Trained as an OB/GYN, she brings the energy and inspiration of her patients to the art studio."
- from Lanoue Fine Art's artist profile for Lissa Rankin

Reviews

[Tina Loves To Read · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a Non-Fiction. I read this book by listening to the audiobook for this book, and I did not love this audiobook. I could not get into this book, and I was bored most of the time I was listening to the audiobook. Most of this book I did not agree with. The only reason I finished this book is because I was using this book in a reading challenge. I had a very hard time making myself pick this book up. I received an ARC of this book. This review is my own honest opinion about the book like all my reviews are.

[Tori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really excited to read this as a people-pleaser, hoping it would offer me some new advice or direction. Unfortunately, I found the information unoriginal and presented in a rather boring way. I think this book may be more helpful for readers who are just beginning their personal growth journey, rather than those who have already invested significant time and effort into their own growth.

[Kristie · Rating 2 out of 5]

The core message of Relationsick really resonated with me... putting yourself last and over giving can physically harm you and manifest as chronic illness. It's a tough pill to swallow when you realize that giving so much doesn't actually earn loyalty, and it's equally hard to admit that a relationship is harming you...especially when walking away feels so painful.
However, I really struggled with the audiobook format. While I usually fly through books in 2 to 3 days, the poor narration made this one very difficult to get into. I was hoping for an inspiring "pep-talk" style guide on how to show up for myself, but the delivery fell flat. I still highly value the information, so maybe I'll try a reread in print format.