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Me Hijra, Me Laxmi
He was born a boy, but never felt like one. What was he then?
He felt attracted to boys. What did this make him?
He loved to dance. But why did others make fun of him?
Battling such emotional turmoil from a very young age, Laxminarayan Tripathi, born in a high-caste Brahman household, felt confused, trapped, and lonely. Slowly, he began wearing women's clothes. Over time, he became bold and assertive about his real sexual identity. Finally, he found his true self—she was Laxmi, a hijra.
From numerous love affairs to finding solace by dancing in Mumbai's bars; from being taunted as a homo to being the first Indian hijra to attend the World AIDS Conference in Toronto; from mental and physical abuse to finding a life of grace, dignity, and fame, this autobiography is an extraordinary journey of a hijra who fought against tremendous odds for the recognition of hijras and their rights.
He felt attracted to boys. What did this make him?
He loved to dance. But why did others make fun of him?
Battling such emotional turmoil from a very young age, Laxminarayan Tripathi, born in a high-caste Brahman household, felt confused, trapped, and lonely. Slowly, he began wearing women's clothes. Over time, he became bold and assertive about his real sexual identity. Finally, he found his true self—she was Laxmi, a hijra.
From numerous love affairs to finding solace by dancing in Mumbai's bars; from being taunted as a homo to being the first Indian hijra to attend the World AIDS Conference in Toronto; from mental and physical abuse to finding a life of grace, dignity, and fame, this autobiography is an extraordinary journey of a hijra who fought against tremendous odds for the recognition of hijras and their rights.
264 pages, Paperback
First published February 24, 2015
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830 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
October 22, 2016
This book is spectacular and underwhelming at the same time. Laxmi is among the better known faces of the LGBT community and her story is incredibly powerful considering the sheer number of challenges she has overcome to be where she is today. While she is conscious not to come across as a victim, the ease with which she narrates her experiences is itself telling of her strength.
The problem, however, is with the writing. One, it seems superficial many times. You come away with an intellectual understanding of Laxmi's life but are unable to empathise fully. The book reads more like a verbose conversation than a controlled and crafted narrative focusing on the more critical details. There are paragraphs and pages devoted to instances that are neither formative experiences nor otherwise relevant to the reader's understanding of Laxmi as a person. To me, they served as distractions, and I wish the book had been edited better to address this. I guess some of the issues with this version are a result of Laxmi first narrating her story to Vaishali (who wrote the original Marathi version), and Rao and Joshi subsequently translating it into English.
The Afterword, though, is an enjoyable read. It is coherent and informative, and helped me place Laxmi's narrative in the larger context.
The problem, however, is with the writing. One, it seems superficial many times. You come away with an intellectual understanding of Laxmi's life but are unable to empathise fully. The book reads more like a verbose conversation than a controlled and crafted narrative focusing on the more critical details. There are paragraphs and pages devoted to instances that are neither formative experiences nor otherwise relevant to the reader's understanding of Laxmi as a person. To me, they served as distractions, and I wish the book had been edited better to address this. I guess some of the issues with this version are a result of Laxmi first narrating her story to Vaishali (who wrote the original Marathi version), and Rao and Joshi subsequently translating it into English.
The Afterword, though, is an enjoyable read. It is coherent and informative, and helped me place Laxmi's narrative in the larger context.
March 17, 2015
Me Hijra me laxmi
Laxminarayan Tripathi alias Laxmi a dutiful son and a crusader of the Hijra community. The autobiography originally in Marathi translated to English by R Raja Rao etc tries to answer the curiosity of a so called normal reader about the despised Hijra community of india.
Laxmi deals with the question of identity and the confusion a transgender go through in the process of locating oneself in the society where any diversion from the binary sexual group of male and female is stigmatised.
The book is a memoir of Laxminarayan turning into Laxmi. She was born a male with all the male organs. But she understood at a tender age her needs as a woman and the agony and trauma she faced when her body was violated. She talks about her fleeting relationship and the after effects of it. Her journey to become a Hijra is well narrated and she has given some literature about the community. The book also gives an overview of the various meets and summits she attended representing her group, her constant fights over the stereotypes in her community esp with her guru lata and her love for stardom. She is honest. She does portray herself as a devoted flag bearer of the Hijra community however at the same time she doesn't give up her passion and love for stardom.
It's a feel good book where things turn around and become good. She has constantly highlighted the successful events in her life with pomp and fair. Reading her I saw how she has with the support of her family has been able to turn things around. She never asked for sympathy for the group in her book. She is bold and courageous with devil may care attitude. And she has used her stigmatised-by-society identity as her strength. Raja Rao has written in his afterword how she has tried to get the best of the two worlds. Like she is still the committed eldest son of her family and at the same time the loved guru to her chelas.
Like I said reading the book give does a rosy picture of her life. However in between the lines we can see the anguish and the difficulty that a transsexual or the community as a whole go through. The lack of awareness among the people, the social exclusion along with the stigma, the law of the land all go against them. The reader becomes aware to an extend but like laxmi said....after reading this you will still be you...laxmi is much more than what lies between the cover pages. As a reader I definitely wanted to delve much more about the Hijra community after reading her.
A must read for all.
Laxminarayan Tripathi alias Laxmi a dutiful son and a crusader of the Hijra community. The autobiography originally in Marathi translated to English by R Raja Rao etc tries to answer the curiosity of a so called normal reader about the despised Hijra community of india.
Laxmi deals with the question of identity and the confusion a transgender go through in the process of locating oneself in the society where any diversion from the binary sexual group of male and female is stigmatised.
The book is a memoir of Laxminarayan turning into Laxmi. She was born a male with all the male organs. But she understood at a tender age her needs as a woman and the agony and trauma she faced when her body was violated. She talks about her fleeting relationship and the after effects of it. Her journey to become a Hijra is well narrated and she has given some literature about the community. The book also gives an overview of the various meets and summits she attended representing her group, her constant fights over the stereotypes in her community esp with her guru lata and her love for stardom. She is honest. She does portray herself as a devoted flag bearer of the Hijra community however at the same time she doesn't give up her passion and love for stardom.
It's a feel good book where things turn around and become good. She has constantly highlighted the successful events in her life with pomp and fair. Reading her I saw how she has with the support of her family has been able to turn things around. She never asked for sympathy for the group in her book. She is bold and courageous with devil may care attitude. And she has used her stigmatised-by-society identity as her strength. Raja Rao has written in his afterword how she has tried to get the best of the two worlds. Like she is still the committed eldest son of her family and at the same time the loved guru to her chelas.
Like I said reading the book give does a rosy picture of her life. However in between the lines we can see the anguish and the difficulty that a transsexual or the community as a whole go through. The lack of awareness among the people, the social exclusion along with the stigma, the law of the land all go against them. The reader becomes aware to an extend but like laxmi said....after reading this you will still be you...laxmi is much more than what lies between the cover pages. As a reader I definitely wanted to delve much more about the Hijra community after reading her.
A must read for all.
January 31, 2016
I picked this book up at the Jaipur Lit Fest. Laxmi was kind of top of mind, between meeting her at a party the night before and the making of plans to attend her session on the next day, it was inevitable I should buy the book.
Laxmi, the book, wears its subject lightly. You don't get much of an insight into the person and her motivations behind doing the things she does, beyond the very superficial, but you do get a sense of her environment, the world she inhabits and its challenges. You understand broad arcs, while not being given a view into the nuances underlying those.
For a person like me, who is as mainstream as it gets - except for being a woman, there is more or less no other part of my identity that has been a target for widespread persecution, especially not in India - even what little the book chooses to reveal, helps broaden my understanding in a big way. I especially like the afterword by P Raj Rao, the person who has translated this book from Marathi to English.
Laxmi, the person, who I had the fortune of both meeting and watching speak from afar, like the book, wears her struggles lightly. She comes across as someone who while caring passionately about the cause of the third gender, terribly abhors wearing the victim hat, and perhaps, that is the reason behind her firebrand devil-may-care aggression, disguised as a very entertaining form of repartee - one that flips & double flips society in the air rather like an expert chef making an omelette, showily, glamorously.
Me Hijra, Me Laxmi is an easy read, but one that will leave you uneasy. And that is why, I think, it must be read.
Laxmi, the book, wears its subject lightly. You don't get much of an insight into the person and her motivations behind doing the things she does, beyond the very superficial, but you do get a sense of her environment, the world she inhabits and its challenges. You understand broad arcs, while not being given a view into the nuances underlying those.
For a person like me, who is as mainstream as it gets - except for being a woman, there is more or less no other part of my identity that has been a target for widespread persecution, especially not in India - even what little the book chooses to reveal, helps broaden my understanding in a big way. I especially like the afterword by P Raj Rao, the person who has translated this book from Marathi to English.
Laxmi, the person, who I had the fortune of both meeting and watching speak from afar, like the book, wears her struggles lightly. She comes across as someone who while caring passionately about the cause of the third gender, terribly abhors wearing the victim hat, and perhaps, that is the reason behind her firebrand devil-may-care aggression, disguised as a very entertaining form of repartee - one that flips & double flips society in the air rather like an expert chef making an omelette, showily, glamorously.
Me Hijra, Me Laxmi is an easy read, but one that will leave you uneasy. And that is why, I think, it must be read.
November 16, 2020
मैं हिजड़ा...मैं लक्ष्मी आत्मकथा किन्नर समाज की सामाजिक,आर्थिक, राजनैतिक और मानवाधिकार के संघर्ष को बयां करने के साथ राजू से लक्ष्मी बनने तक का दिखाता है।यह आत्मकथा द्विलिंगी समाज की सोच बदलने में काफी हद तक सफल रही।लक्ष्मीनारायण त्रिपाठी का संघर्षमयी जीवन से तृतीयलिंगी समुदाय को नयी दिशा जरूर मिली है। इस समाज को लोगों ने दीपावली के 'यम दीपक' की तरह छोड़ दिया गया। लेकिन मौजूदा समाज में उनकी उपस्थिति सदियों से रही। समाज द्वारा नकारे गये वर्ग को अपनाने और उन्हें मानवीयता दर्जा दिलाने में यह आत्मकथा सहयोगात्मक सिद्ध हुई। हिंदी साहित्य में इस आत्मकथा के समय थर्डजेंडर पर बहुत कम लेखन हुआ।इस पर विश्वविद्यालयों में अनेकों शोध हुए । मैंने इस पुस्तक 2017 में भारत भर में पहला शोध कार्य सम्पन्न किया। अर्थात् मैं हिजड़ा... मैं लक्ष्मी पर मेरी आलोचनात्मक पुस्तक " मैं हिजड़ा... मैं लक्ष्मी में किन्नर विमर्श" के नाम से अमेज़न और विद्याप्रकाशन कानपुर में उपलब्ध है। मुझे लगता है हर किसी को हिंदी साहित्य में रूचि रखने वालों और थर्डजेंडर के प्रति सकारात्मक सोच और बदलाव के नजरिए से इस पुस्तक को पढ़ना चाहिए।
April 18, 2015
An interesting book. It gives an insight into the life of Laxmi- an activist and a celebrity. It does not dwell on negativity or the feeling of being a victim.
April 1, 2021
Without any doubt, Laxmi's life journey is quite inspirational. But the presentation in Punjabi language made it little boring. This book was originally published in Marathi language and then translated to English and this Punjabi version is translated from English version. It made tge writing with full of flaw.
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March 7, 2015This book was sent to me by the publisher as a part of the Goodreads Firstreads Giveaway.
The nicest part about having an open mind to reading books is the fact that you do end up discovering a lot of gems every now and then. There are these routine run of the mill books that you encounter almost in every bookstore you visit. And there are these books about unconventional people. Me Hijra, Me Laxmi is easily the most unconventional book I have read to date. I call it unconventional not just because of the person whose (auto)biography it is, but it also appears to be a translation of a book in Marathi. The translators R. Raj Rao and P.G. Joshi admit to have tried to make the book a lot more readable in English by not just translating the book from its Marathi version but also by acting at editors in various points. And this shows.
For a guy who grew up in an urban Indian setting, the only time that I’d come across a hijra (transgender) was at a traffic light when I’d wait for the signal to turn from red to green. In many an occasion, I have been approached by the transgenders who ask me for money, and in turn offer ‘blessings’ since they are believed to bring good luck (or bad luck). I have often encountered them on longer train journeys within India when a few of them board the train only to obtain money from passenger. This being the only time that I have seen hijras, this book Me Laxi, Me Hijra, which is the story of the transgender activist Laxminarayan Tripathi, was a revelation. Though Laxmi refuses to let the readers in on many details of the hijra community, there is definitely an effort by her to mention that hijras are aware of the disturbance they cause and how they work a few situations to their advantage.
The main reason why this book worked for me was the fact that Laxmi seems to have made a wonderful life for herself with the able support of her family and the happiness in her life shows with the amount of impactful work she does. Kudos to her and her family for the same!
However, the guarded nature of Laxmi in letting us in on her life happenings (which is understandable) is probably what doesn’t completely work for me. The book is more an effort of the work she’s done for the community and the awareness to the extend where this book mostly showcases on the complete achiever in Laxmi. what would have helped was how she fought the odds, if any, or how she would have fought someone, including the bureaucracy. That is my main peeve with the book is that it all seemed to be written in such a way that it all came easy to her. The Marathi original’s author Vaishali Rode acknowledges the guardedness of Laxmi, but what would have helped was this story of the fight. That may help thousands of people who are not in direct contact with Laxmi.
But that being said, I am not going to take away any credit from the book for what appears to be one of the first books by an Indian hijra. More power to you and your community. (But just don’t harass the poor motorists in the traffic signals.)
The nicest part about having an open mind to reading books is the fact that you do end up discovering a lot of gems every now and then. There are these routine run of the mill books that you encounter almost in every bookstore you visit. And there are these books about unconventional people. Me Hijra, Me Laxmi is easily the most unconventional book I have read to date. I call it unconventional not just because of the person whose (auto)biography it is, but it also appears to be a translation of a book in Marathi. The translators R. Raj Rao and P.G. Joshi admit to have tried to make the book a lot more readable in English by not just translating the book from its Marathi version but also by acting at editors in various points. And this shows.
For a guy who grew up in an urban Indian setting, the only time that I’d come across a hijra (transgender) was at a traffic light when I’d wait for the signal to turn from red to green. In many an occasion, I have been approached by the transgenders who ask me for money, and in turn offer ‘blessings’ since they are believed to bring good luck (or bad luck). I have often encountered them on longer train journeys within India when a few of them board the train only to obtain money from passenger. This being the only time that I have seen hijras, this book Me Laxi, Me Hijra, which is the story of the transgender activist Laxminarayan Tripathi, was a revelation. Though Laxmi refuses to let the readers in on many details of the hijra community, there is definitely an effort by her to mention that hijras are aware of the disturbance they cause and how they work a few situations to their advantage.
The main reason why this book worked for me was the fact that Laxmi seems to have made a wonderful life for herself with the able support of her family and the happiness in her life shows with the amount of impactful work she does. Kudos to her and her family for the same!
However, the guarded nature of Laxmi in letting us in on her life happenings (which is understandable) is probably what doesn’t completely work for me. The book is more an effort of the work she’s done for the community and the awareness to the extend where this book mostly showcases on the complete achiever in Laxmi. what would have helped was how she fought the odds, if any, or how she would have fought someone, including the bureaucracy. That is my main peeve with the book is that it all seemed to be written in such a way that it all came easy to her. The Marathi original’s author Vaishali Rode acknowledges the guardedness of Laxmi, but what would have helped was this story of the fight. That may help thousands of people who are not in direct contact with Laxmi.
But that being said, I am not going to take away any credit from the book for what appears to be one of the first books by an Indian hijra. More power to you and your community. (But just don’t harass the poor motorists in the traffic signals.)
March 4, 2015
First of all, thanks to OUP and Goodreads for this book. #firstreads
Like how the cover rightly puts it, this life-narrative is "much more than what is there between the covers".
In between those pages, Laxmi grows into this larger-than-life figure and that too in her own right.
This narrative portrays a gradual progression in Laxmi's life: From Laxminarayan Tripathi to Laxmi.
What struck me most was Laxmi's stark, ingenuous honesty about herself: she's utmost critical yet so proud of her own actions and achievements. Laxmi has achieved for the hijras in the matter of a couple decades what would otherwise have taken over a century. She's one of the faces of Transgenderism in India and internationally acknowledged as well!
While reading this text, I felt overjoyed with each of her triumph; I felt saddened by each hardship; I wished if I could do something - at least emulate the positive spirit that Laxmi encapsulates. The further you go into the text, the more enraptured you'll be by this charismatic symbol of the third gender.
The Afterword to this text deserves a special mention; it is such an erudite piece from Raj Rao that it needs to be studied in itself with utter care!
One issue that I did have with this text as with Revathi's is its erroneous editing at places. It's shocking to see such little but basic errors from such renowned publishing houses.
And one regret that I have is, well, I want to read this in the Marathi original (just that I don't know the language) and also, I just wish if Laxmi had written this herself. I'm pretty sure the entire narrative would've had a different flavour if she had penned it down herself!
Like how the cover rightly puts it, this life-narrative is "much more than what is there between the covers".
In between those pages, Laxmi grows into this larger-than-life figure and that too in her own right.
This narrative portrays a gradual progression in Laxmi's life: From Laxminarayan Tripathi to Laxmi.
What struck me most was Laxmi's stark, ingenuous honesty about herself: she's utmost critical yet so proud of her own actions and achievements. Laxmi has achieved for the hijras in the matter of a couple decades what would otherwise have taken over a century. She's one of the faces of Transgenderism in India and internationally acknowledged as well!
While reading this text, I felt overjoyed with each of her triumph; I felt saddened by each hardship; I wished if I could do something - at least emulate the positive spirit that Laxmi encapsulates. The further you go into the text, the more enraptured you'll be by this charismatic symbol of the third gender.
The Afterword to this text deserves a special mention; it is such an erudite piece from Raj Rao that it needs to be studied in itself with utter care!
One issue that I did have with this text as with Revathi's is its erroneous editing at places. It's shocking to see such little but basic errors from such renowned publishing houses.
And one regret that I have is, well, I want to read this in the Marathi original (just that I don't know the language) and also, I just wish if Laxmi had written this herself. I'm pretty sure the entire narrative would've had a different flavour if she had penned it down herself!
April 30, 2015
The main reason for anyone to read this book is to understand how the society treats anyone differently based on his or her sexual preferences. Laxmi's story is one of courage and conviction. Inspirational at the same time frustrating when you think of the enormous mindshift the society needs to become more tolerant and accepting. Straightforward writing with short sentences and also with an 'in your face attitude'. These types of books need to be widely read for sure so that there is a beginning to the cultural transformation that is so important for the evolution of mankind.
January 20, 2016
This subject has always been close to my heart. I feel very strongly about the marginalisation and dehumanization of the third sex. Imagine being looked at with only disgust and horror, everywhere you go. Is it even human to treat another human the way we treat anyone who's making different choices in life?
Having said that the book disappoints. Yes, it does give a voice to the reality of the lives of the hijra community but some thing is missing.
I have the greatest admiration for Laxmi but it's time she stopped playing to the gallery and spoke her heart.
Having said that the book disappoints. Yes, it does give a voice to the reality of the lives of the hijra community but some thing is missing.
I have the greatest admiration for Laxmi but it's time she stopped playing to the gallery and spoke her heart.
April 15, 2015
This book "Me Hijra, Me Laxmi" is which depicts the hardships faced by every Hijra in their daily lives, written with the intention to fight for the fundamental rights of hijras.
Till this date, I have always been respectful to Hijras but never gathered courage to speak to them. This book have taught me to be myself around hijras too not feeling scared..!!!
I really came to know more about hijras, it was really informative!!!
Till this date, I have always been respectful to Hijras but never gathered courage to speak to them. This book have taught me to be myself around hijras too not feeling scared..!!!
I really came to know more about hijras, it was really informative!!!
February 20, 2016
Good book but English translation is very weak
January 28, 2018
This book depicts a life of a transgender what they go through in life.. How they have to struggle with every situation.
September 29, 2018
good to read
July 17, 2020
Eunuchs/hijras/kinnars hold an extremely despised position in the Indian society. Some of us fear them, some of us place trust in them and majority of the society still goes by that their blessings and curses- WORK WONDERS!
Eunuchs being different from hermaphrodites tend to face more dejection from society. Because no-one is born a Hijra- it's one's choice to become one.
Such is the autobiography of Laxminarayan Tripathi "Me Hijra Me Laxmi" originally written in Marathi and translated to English by R.Raj Rao and P.G Joshi. It leads us into the personal life of now Laxmi-a world known transgender activist.
Though the book makes you familiar with the daily lives of hijras, the adversities they face in terms of identity, job security and inclusion in society and obviously with an extra focus on the intricate details of Laxmi's life- as a reader I felt that it has just covered the surface.
There's so much more I wanted to know about Laxmi-
1. More on her international conferences rather about her travel schedules.
2. More on her finding peace within rather than the acceptance of people around.
3. More on her personality development and contribution in society rather than her flings, crushes and relationships.
4. More on her stand on Human Rights rather than her bitter equation with Lataguru.
There are so many loopholes and issues which haven't touched the roots. Also, the last chapter I felt should have been the 1st chapter of the book as it deals with the nitigrities of becoming a Hijra. And this book would have worked wonders if presented as a series of chat show.
Somehow, after finishing the Book- I feel an unsatisfied and unhappy vaccum within me knowing that I didn't read something new/different. It just kept beating around the bush with flowery language and a pinch of drama which well-read people already know of.
I would leave it to your personal choice, whether to include it in your shelf or not.
Eunuchs being different from hermaphrodites tend to face more dejection from society. Because no-one is born a Hijra- it's one's choice to become one.
Such is the autobiography of Laxminarayan Tripathi "Me Hijra Me Laxmi" originally written in Marathi and translated to English by R.Raj Rao and P.G Joshi. It leads us into the personal life of now Laxmi-a world known transgender activist.
Though the book makes you familiar with the daily lives of hijras, the adversities they face in terms of identity, job security and inclusion in society and obviously with an extra focus on the intricate details of Laxmi's life- as a reader I felt that it has just covered the surface.
There's so much more I wanted to know about Laxmi-
1. More on her international conferences rather about her travel schedules.
2. More on her finding peace within rather than the acceptance of people around.
3. More on her personality development and contribution in society rather than her flings, crushes and relationships.
4. More on her stand on Human Rights rather than her bitter equation with Lataguru.
There are so many loopholes and issues which haven't touched the roots. Also, the last chapter I felt should have been the 1st chapter of the book as it deals with the nitigrities of becoming a Hijra. And this book would have worked wonders if presented as a series of chat show.
Somehow, after finishing the Book- I feel an unsatisfied and unhappy vaccum within me knowing that I didn't read something new/different. It just kept beating around the bush with flowery language and a pinch of drama which well-read people already know of.
I would leave it to your personal choice, whether to include it in your shelf or not.
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November 15, 2024Nie porwała mnie ta książka. Jak dla mnie za bardzo opisowa, a za mało refleksyjna. I jakby tańcząca wokół ego Laxmi, która jak się okazuje w posłowiu nie jest autorką książki o sobie, a opowiadaczka, której losy opisuje dziennikarz/dziennikarka.
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March 15, 2025I didn’t finish it because it felt too rushed. I was trying to process everything that was happening, but after just a few lines, something new would occur, making it hard to keep up. I really wanted to read this, but I couldn’t. Maybe I’ll give it another try in the future.
Currently reading
October 3, 2022It is to know more about gender. I am also doing a project on gender studies.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 4, 2023
One of the teachers gave me this book to read as it was a part of the syllabus and i loved it. This book is an amazing journey about the life of a transgender. It beautifully portrays Laxmi s childhood, struggles , transformation to fame and limelight being a tunnel of light for all the hijras out there who are oppressed and does not have a voice. A great story of equality to impact and make you think that everyone are humans and deserve a place in the society.
October 15, 2019
Lakshmi Narayan Tripathi paints a pretty clear and informative picture here about her life and in particular her identity. It's a must-read for any person who is passionate about the lives of others.
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May 19, 2017Biog T835t 2015
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews