Finding Purgatory

by Kristina M. Sanchez

Bang!

In one short moment, Ani Novak’s life is turned upside down. Her beautiful family is destroyed and she is left completely alone. With an unnamed desire, she seeks out the little sister she had walked away from when she was nineteen.

Tori Kane is barely eighteen, jaded, and reluctantly in need of her sister’s help. While Ani is in the position to financially support her sister, the one thing Tori really needs money can’t buy and Ani no longer knows how to give—trust.

Neither of them expected paradise, but they want more than the hell their lives have become. There has to be a middle ground between heaven and hell where they can just be.

233 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 31, 2015

About the author

Kristina M. Sanchez is an Orange County California native. She currently resides down the street from Disneyland and is the mother of two pain in the behind cats.

Reviews

[Mina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book... Good God. THIS BOOK. First of all, kudos to the author on her level of research. It's remarkable how the plot stays cohesive and very true to reality. Such a gem to find after a series of plot holes filled stories. Bravo.

That aside, I have no idea where to start. I finished this book 4 weeks ago, and after re-reading it for a third time, I still couldn't find the words. (Guess that's why I'm not the writer, huh?)

BUT THIS BOOK. Lord almighty. It stuck with me. I dreamed of this story. I would find myself thinking of it, and then I would pick it up again just to re-read that scene that hits you right on the feels (you'll know what scene it is when you read it!)

But how to describe the book?

Well, it's not romance, but it IS about love. Oh, the love in this book. It's truly amazing how the author explores all facets of it, the highs and the very lows, but the main story is about 2 sisters, trying to find...perhaps not happiness, for one of them had it and lost it, and the other is too scared to reach out for it. They are trying to find a happy medium, a limbo, a place where they can be able to grow, learn, understand, forgive, and move on. The are aiming for purgatory.

And the road to it is paved with good intention, unforgettable mistakes, and the need to connect with someone. Both Tori and Ani have a long road ahead of them, and they are in need of healing, but how can they get what they need when they cannot see the road ahead? The way the author explores their lives is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. But the lovee... OH THE LOVE. It's there, perhaps Tori can't see and Ani can't feel it, BUT IT'S THERE AND IT'S EVERYTHING!

I don't want to give too much away, but THIS BOOK, Y'ALL. All the tears, laughter, gasps, screams and smiles are worth every single penny. If you don't give this book a chance, you're totally missing out.

[UltraMeital · Rating 5 out of 5]

This new book by Kristina caught me off guard. I've been waiting for a new book by her (had my "inside information" one was coming, sometime soon) and as usual the synopsis doesn't matter just the name Kristina was enough for me to order it the day it was out.

Granted it took me a week to get to it.. I actually had just two books before it - The two final books in the Cut & Run series by Abigail Roux, but with the Passover preparations and then becoming REALLY sick, it took me more than a WHOLE week to read these two. Well, here I am now finally with my sticky fingers all over my kindle :)

I read this book in one gulp. I did stop to eat and have a few conversations, but generally speaking, I started late evening and finished near 5 AM in the morning. I guess it shows how invested I was with the story which is a real surprise and no surprise at all. This book deal with one of THE big turn offs for me in books (and real life) pregnancies and kids. I can't blame the author or the book it dealt with something I find "not to my liking" but the beautiful thing about it, though I'm usually just NOT interested in books with these themes, I couldn't put this one down.

I'm struggling here with what to tell you about the book since the synopsis (I read AFTER I had the book in my hands) says very little to prepare you to the enormity of the situations the two women find themselves in. It's angsty, but it wasn't done in a way I thought it OTT or teenagery (though one of the MC in 18 years old and still in High School [yeah, cringe..]. Everything that happened, the emotions expressed by, well, everyone! felt genuine and right. It was an impossible situation for two families (and friends) and everyone was entitled to be mad and hurting.

Ani (Antigone) Novak had it all. She was married to Jett (Jethro), her amazing husband who loved her and their little daughter Mara dearly. Life generally couldn't be better for her, until they are both snatched away by a burglar who kills them both then commits suicide in front of her. It's the second time her life has taken away everything she had from her. The first time when she was 19 and her parents were killed in an accident. Though she had a little 3 years old sister, Victoria soon found an adopting parents and Ani found herself walking away.

Now, alone and can't stand to be near the family of the ones she lost especially not Jett's twin brother Ian, or his grieving mother. She couldn't be with her friends either. She couldn't be with all those people who knows her, knows what she had lost and look at her with those pitying eyes.

After a very unlikely conversation she finds herself wondering where is her sister and is horrified to learn she WASN'T adopted, she was just thrown back into the system. Contacting Victoria's Social Worker Shane McCarty she learns very little more as he is very protective of her sister - everything she wants to know she needs to ask her sister directly, who though agrees to meet her, isn't very "friendly" to say the least, in Victoria's eyes, her sister abandoned her 15 years ago and dropping now out of the clear sky is too little WAY too late.

Yet when Victoria, now Tori Kane to anyone who knows her, finds out she is pregnant she reluctantly turns to her sister for help. She just needs the money for an abortion. I would have taken the money and gotten rid of the thing really, but this is NOT how the story goes.. When Tori freaks out in the car outside the clinic, Ani offers to raise her sister's baby for her and for Tori to move in with her.

That seems like a great solution right? Ani has a good job and means. She can help her sister out, she can have another baby, yet Tori's baby won't be Mara her little baby girl and as time goes by she is scared she won't be able to uphold her side of the bargain. She still struggles with the loss of Jett and Mara and while she desperately wants to have a relationship with Tori, for them to really be sisters, her offer, in the state that she is now, is impossible. Yet she agrees, hell, she offered! and now she can't let her sister down AGAIN. Not when it's obvious from every word Tori says she doesn't really trust her and expect Ani to betray her trust any second now.

This story is about sisters, about families, lost yet found. It's about finding people to trust when life showed you there is no one really there. It was beautiful while being heart breaking.

Yet, this story is not only about the two of them and their struggle into becoming a family again it also has a romantic side to it which was also mostly heart breaking because of the emotional state both Ani and Tori are in. Nevertheless they both find someone to care for them. I don't want to write "their HEA" because that's not what it is, and once you've read this one - and it IS a MUST read! - you'll get it. This book forms those new couples yet the story doesn't follow them as you would expect in a Romance novel which I don't really think this book is. I tagged it under "New Adult" and "Drama" because I think it's a coming of age for Tori and another sort of coming of grief for Ani.

I loved the way both Tori and Ani changes throughout the story. Tori was just growing up I guess, but with Ani, she was coming to realize things about herself, and find her place in the world.

Yet I do want to shout out a bit about the guys in this story. The McCarty brothers - Shane and Westin ( "Wes, West, Westy, Anything but Westin" ;)) were both sweethearts. They both have a heart of gold and they both had an amazing influence on both girls. Ian, Jett's twin brother, was trying his best while dealing himself with the lost of his other half and while he wanted to understand and be there for Ani she wouldn't let him, because she was grieving and because he was Jett incarnate and yet not at all, just a face she recognizes that belongs to someone else. If he can barely look himself in the mirror how could she look at him and not feel her loss as if life is making fun of her pain. Last but not least Raphael (Raphe) Diego who while being only 3 years older than Tori is so much more mature and ready to deal with life. He has his little sad story yet I felt as though he was one of the most "put together" people in this story. Maybe aside from West. Oh West.. he was DEFINITELY my favorite of them all. I was amazed by every move he made. Some people you expect nothing from and they surprise you with every turn you make.

So that's my review. But before I go I HAVE to quote Tori with how she explains the redundancy of her pregnancy to one of her close (and younger) friends:

“This is not a good thing. Babies suck. They cry, and they whine, and they poop, and they . . . cry. They suck. And they just get more sucky and needy as they grow up. Eventually, they become us. Come on. What would you do with us?”

Funny enough, I'm Ani's age (not our 18 years old Tori...) and I see it exactly as Tori does. Which is why I had my doubt in the beginning about NOT liking this book AT ALL. But it went through the window soon enough. I was sucked into this story and babies / kidies or not, it was amazingly written, sensitive while being heart crushing and then tender and beautiful with the best possible ending in my opinion. All I can really ask for is MORE by Kristina though I might have to beg for another one "baby free" ;)

HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

More Reviews HERE

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I was provided a copy of Finding Purgatory by the author in exchange for an honest review. I am not compensated for my honest opinion.*

Ani Novak’s beautiful life is shattered in the blink of an eye. Lacking direction after her family is shattered, she seeks out the little sister she walked away from when Ani was nineteen. Ani’s not sure if she wants to make amends or just reconnect with someone who doesn’t have a reason to pity her.

Tori Kane barely remembers her big sister or her parents, and having grown up in foster homes, she’s never known unconditional love. On the brink of turning eighteen, Tori thinks she has life all figured out, until her sister walks back into her life and Tori finds herself in a situation she can’t handle alone.

Neither sister knows how to deal with their new life or how to find happiness. But perhaps by leaning on each other they can find some middle ground. They might not be able to grasp the brass ring, but just maybe they can find purgatory.

Finding Purgatory is a contemporary story that incorporates women’s fiction with some new adult. Told in third person point of view, we are treated to the lives of both sisters—one who is just becoming an adult and one who has to put the pieces of her life back together. Ani has guilt over leaving her little sister once she finds out Tori didn’t get a happily ever after with an adoptive family, and she’s also feeling guilty over how she had to back out of the lives of her in-laws. Tori thinks she’s got life all figured out. She’ll soon be eighteen and be able to leave the foster system behind.

The story showed the true emotions of both women, at times so emotional it brought me to tears. It had a very true-to-life feel to it. Nothing was sugar-coated. Being pregnant is not always a blessing, and Tori’s pregnancy was an interesting contradiction to Ani having just lost her very young daughter. Neither sister knew quite how to handle the pregnancy, and we got to experience their raw emotions as they felt them. Both Tori and Ani showed tremendous growth throughout the story.

The secondary characters also had a very real feel to them. Raphe was extremely patient with Tori, yet at times his frustration showed through. West was quite a charmer but also offered pearls of wisdom to Ani just when she needed them most. I really enjoyed Shane and Ian’s story as well. There was a lot of activity packed into this book, but Ms. Sanchez did a great job of incorporating it all and making it feel natural.

Although this definitely falls into the category of “happily ever after,” it also offers a difficult life lesson. Life can be messy and far from perfect, but snatching your moments of happiness and holding on to them makes all the difference.

The few minor editing mistakes did not detract from my enjoyment of this book. I would definitely read more by this author.

For more of my reviews, please visit Rach Lawrence Books.

[Carrie Elks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Purgatory tells the story of Ani Novak, a recently bereaved mother and wife, who goes in search of her long lost-sister, Tori, who she lost touch with after their parents died. The last time Ani saw her, Tori was three, but now she’s eighteen and embittered by the foster system that brought her up.

She’s also extremely angry at Ani for abandoning her when she was a child. With sixteen years between them, she felt that Ani should have taken care of her, so from the start their relationship is strained. Only when Tori discovers she’s pregnant and alone does she finally turn to her sister, seeking some support in a world where she’s perpetually alone.

But things aren’t as simple as they seem. Ani has issues of her own—big issues that involve the death of her husband and adored baby girl. Issues which mean she’s not even sure she can help her sister and the new baby, not when it brings up such painful memories from the past. But the alternative—to abandon her sister once again to a world where she will be alone—seems so much worse.

Finding Purgatory is beautifully written, with characters that are flawed yet very relatable. Even when Ani is struggling with her demons, or Tori is acting up, their motivations and actions are understandable and forgivable. From the start the story is angsty—the first few pages describe the death of Ani’s husband and baby and the aftermath—but as the book continues you can see hope beginning to bloom in a life that seemed bereft of any dreams, and it was that slow change which kept my eyes glued to the page. I found myself rooting for Ani and Tori, hoping that things would finally be okay for them, that they would find something more than the darkness that had haunted their worlds for so long.

The book has a little romance, too. In the form of West McCarty (brother of Tori’s social worker Shane) who delights in introducing Ani to cheesecake and Raphe Diego, the boy who steals Tori’s heart.

This was one of those books that you can’t put down, yet when you come to the end of the story you feel as though you’ve lost some friends. Long after I’d turned off my kindle I was still thinking about the characters. I’d highly recommend it to anybody who can stomach the angst, and enjoys a realistic, gentle yet heartwarming story with a dash of romance.

[Eleanor · Rating 5 out of 5]

For those of you who’re into angst – this one is for you. But beware – it ends on a positive note. It’s life. It’s real. It’s gorgeous.

So it’s no secret Kristina is a dear friend. She’s in fact one of the most opinionated, infuriating, quirky and incredibly talented people I know.

She’s also a fantastic writer and Finding Purgatory is her 2nd novel released. Her first published work, Duplicity is a novella and One to Tell the Grandkids is her first novel that release in 2014. Both are great reads and highly recommended.

Finding Purgatory is awesome in a whole different way than anything you’ll normally read. You won’t find it packed with sex and the romance is not jumping off the page. Kris is an expert in “telling” relationships. She can write those suckers like it’s nobody’s business. And in FP there are some interesting ones.

In Finding Purgatory Ani and Tori’s stories are twined in a basic way, but that’s where basic ends and a helluvalot of complicated begins.

Finding Purgatory is about incredibly challenging loss, about finding life, about dealing with conflicting situations and yes, about rediscovering love, in its most basic and pure forms.

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Purgatory.
Ani Novak lost her husband and daughter to a man who was, in a matter of speaking very very damaged. After finding out a little more about him, she decides to look for her sister, Tori Kane, whom she abandoned when said girl was just a baby.
Tori Kane has lived for the majority of her life in pain and alone. After her parents died, her sister dumped her in the system, or at least that is the way she sees it, but after her life takes a big twist, she admits to herself, she is in need of help, which Ani happens to offer.
Ani and Tori are different in almost every way possible, except for one thing, both are hurt, damaged and desperately need someone to be there for them.
Finding purgatory is a very touching story, I personally loved it, it is very well written and I would strongly recommend it to anyone who likes realistic drama and angst.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I grew to care so intensely about these characters.

I couldn't put this book down! Kristina Sanchez crafted these characters so beautifully that each became precious to me. I came to care about their histories, experiences, and decisions. I look forward to reading more of Kristina Sanchez' work!

[Bai · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a test coming up and I can't study because this book just messed me up. To be fair, I should have known better than to start one of Sanchez's writings. The author does not do things halfway. And now I have a headache from crying

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review to come :)

[Mariejeanne26ff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, from start to finish, could not put it down. I felt so much for all the characters, loved the intricacies of their relationships. A thoroughly enjoyable (if heart-wrenching) read.

[Vicky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a touching story

I really enjoyed reading this story. Such truth with a happy real ending. Couldn't put it down until I finished!