Psychologie de la vie amoureuse

by Sigmund Freud, Olivier Mannoni (Translator)

Les trois textes publiés ici éclairent plusieurs aspects cruciaux de notre vie sexuelle.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Philosophy, Classics, Psychoanalysis, Love, Theory

65 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 7, 2006

About the author

Dr. Sigismund Freud (later changed to Sigmund) was a neurologist and the founder of psychoanalysis, who created an entirely new approach to the understanding of the human personality. He is regarded as one of the most influential—and controversial—minds of the 20th century.

In 1873, Freud began to study medicine at the University of Vienna. After graduating, he worked at the Vienna General Hospital. He collaborated with Josef Breuer in treating hysteria by the recall of painful experiences under hypnosis. In 1885, Freud went to Paris as a student of the neurologist Jean Charcot. On his return to Vienna the following year, Freud set up in private practice, specialising in nervous and brain disorders. The same year he married Martha Bernays, with whom he had six children.

Freud developed the theory that humans have an unconscious in which sexual and aggressive impulses are in perpetual conflict for supremacy with the defences against them. In 1897, he began an intensive analysis of himself. In 1900, his major work 'The Interpretation of Dreams' was published in which Freud analysed dreams in terms of unconscious desires and experiences.

In 1902, Freud was appointed Professor of Neuropathology at the University of Vienna, a post he held until 1938. Although the medical establishment disagreed with many of his theories, a group of pupils and followers began to gather around Freud. In 1910, the International Psychoanalytic Association was founded with Carl Jung, a close associate of Freud's, as the president. Jung later broke with Freud and developed his own theories.

After World War One, Freud spent less time in clinical observation and concentrated on the application of his theories to history, art, literature and anthropology. In 1923, he published 'The Ego and the Id', which suggested a new structural model of the mind, divided into the 'id, the 'ego' and the 'superego'.

In 1933, the Nazis publicly burnt a number of Freud's books. In 1938, shortly after the Nazis annexed Austria, Freud left Vienna for London with his wife and daughter Anna.

Freud had been diagnosed with cancer of the jaw in 1923, and underwent more than 30 operations. He died of cancer on 23 September 1939.

Reviews

[Marta :} · Rating 2 out of 5]

I respect Papa Freud, but it's kind of obvious that his theories come from his experience (or lack of), if you have read about him, like I had because of my course - history of modern psychology - you'd know that he wasn't the luckiest pal in the sexual department (no judgment here). He had quite the obsession with sexuality and while some of his theories have been demonstrated, most of them don't have any scientific base. I'm a skeptic when it comes to the psychosexual development stages, the Oedip complex and his symbols when it comes to dream interpretation. I do believe that dreams have meaning and that they can be symbols, but not universal ones. I believe dreams are deeply rooted in the individual's experience and Freud's symbols (a person being bathed = giving birth, birds or anything sharp = male genitalia) are too far-fetched for me.

Edit #1 : I can't believe I forgot about the 'amazing' penis envy... I never rolled my eyes so badly ever. My dear, the only times women want to be men are the following :
1) while having a painful period (and maybe during childbirth, though I couldn't tell);
2) when they receive a lower salary even though they worked as hard as their male co-workers and other situations that happen because of misogyny.
The rest of the times, we're pretty satisfied with who we are. Thank you for concern.

[Ayat Al Bloushi · Rating 5 out of 5]

For those who criticize Freud's theories of Psychoanalysis and sexuality, I say this, quoting Freud himself, "But all that I have heard said against it [sexuality] so far has been in the form of expressions of personal displeasure or scepticism, which we need only counter with Charcot's phrase..[That doesn't mean it doesn't exist]".

[شمس · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do not believe that anyone can be reproached for making use of such speculations, so long as they are careful not to place too much value upon them. —Contributions to the Psychology of Erotic Life, The Virginity Taboo

In addition, it is [this author’s] devout wish that this book may rapidly age, while that which was once new in it finds general acceptance, and its inadequacies are replaced by something more correct. —Three Essays on Sexual Theory, Preface to the Second Edition
__________
In almost every case the man almost feels restricted in his sexual activity by respect for the woman, and only develops his full potency if he has a debased sexual object before him. This in turn is partly explained by the fact that his sexual goals include perverse components, which he does not dare satisfy with the woman he respects. He can only have complete sexual pleasure if he is able to abandon himself unreservedly to satisfaction and he does not dare do this with his lawful wife. Hence his need for a debased sexual object, a woman who is ethically inferior to himself, to whom, he does not have to ascribe aesthetic considerations, who does not know him, who is not able to judge him with reference to the other circumstances of his life. He is happy devoting his sexual power to such a woman, even if all of his affection belongs to a superior woman.

. . .

It is rather unpleasant to say so, and it is also paradoxical, but nevertheless is must be said: in order to feel truly free in one’s erotic life and, thus also happy, one must overcome respect for the woman, and become familiar with the idea of incest with one’s mother or sister. Anyone who subjects himself to serious self-examination in regard to this demand will doubtless find within himself that he considers the sexual act as basically something debasing, something that stains and sullies, not only in the physical sense. —Contributions to the Psychology of Erotic Life, II - Concerning the Most Universal Debasement in the Erotic Life

__________
This volume collects the following works by Freud:
• Fragment of an Analysis of Hysteria (Dora)
• Three Essays on Sexual Theory
• On the Sexual Theories of Children
• Contributions to the Psychology of Erotic Life
• A Child is Being Beaten
• On Female Sexuality
__________

Everyone knows that Freud changed everything. Freud changed everything by making everything about sex. Like the serpent urging the apple on Eve, Sigmund Freud brought sex to a world until then innocent, Edenic. When Freud published his theories, the era into which he wrote, having convinced itself puiblically at least of its own piety, could now publicly declare itself scandalised, incapable ever after of unlearning what freud had taught. Just as Eve’s apple, fruit of the tree of knowledge, yoked sex and knowledge irrevocably. Freud’s theories plunged everyone into a lamentable, seemingly inescapable state of knowing. Or so (not just) popular wisdom has it. —Jeri Johnson, Introduction

I’d heard variations of that second sentence by my Psychology teacher, that Freud was reputed to have made everything about sex, but I’d always thought either that people were over-exaggerating, or that he might have been correct. After reading these works, I can see people were not over-exaggerating, and he probably wasn’t correct . . . about everything, at least.

Nevertheless, I’ve no doubt some of his theories have large amounts of truth in them.

A clear translation.
__________
Introduction
When in April April; 1986 Freud presented to the Viennese Society for Psychiatry and Neurology his theory that his hysterical patients had each suffered actual sexual abuse at some early stage of childhood—and that the father was the agent of abuse, he was met with Richard von Krafft-Ebing’s rebuff, ‘It sounds like a scientific fairy tale’. Or as James Joyce had it in Finnegans Wake:

We grisly old Sykos who have done our unsmiling but on ‘Alices, when they were yung and easily freudened, in the penumbra of the procuring room . . . could (did we care to sell our feebought silence in camera) tell . . . that father in such virgated contexts is not always that undemonstrative relative . . . who settles our hashbill for us . . . and . . . what a neurasthene nympholept . . . with a prepossessing drauma present in her past and a priapic urge for congress with agnates before cognates fundamentally is feeling for under her lubricitous meiosis when she refers with liking to some feeler she fancie's face. And Mm. We could. Yet what need to say? ’Tis as human a little story as paper could well carry, in affect.

__________
Fragment of an Analysis of Hysteria (Dora)
He then came back, and instead of walking through the open door, he suddenly pulled the girl to him and pressed a kiss on her lips. That was surely a situation that should have produced a clear sensation of sexual excitement in a foourteen-year-old girl who had never been touched by a man. But at that moment Dora felt a violent revulsion, pulled away and dashed past him to the stairs and from there to the front door . . . In this second scene, chronologically the first, the behaviour of the fourteen-year-old child is already thoroughly hysterical. Anyone in whom an occasion for sexual excitement provokes predominantly or exclusively feelings of displeasure I would without hesitation identify as a hysteric, whether or not she is capable of producing somatic symptoms.

In this way disgust enters the emotional expressions of sexual life. It is the inter urinas et faeces nascimur [we are born between faeces and urine] of the Church Father [St Augustine], which attaches itself to sexual life and cannot be parted from it, however many attempts at idealisation one may undertake.

. . . the Greeks, a people culturally far superior to ourselves . . .

I’ll explain it to you later. Can’t you think of anything else about the jewellery box? So far you’ve only talked about jewellery and said nothing about a box.
‘Yes, Herr. K had given me a jewellery box as a present some time before.’
So there was the gift you received in return. You may not know that ‘jewellery box’ is a popular expression used to refer to something you recently alluded to when you talked about the handbag, that is to say, female genitals.
‘I knew you’d say that.’
That means, you knew it.
. . . Of course she would not go along with this piece of interpretation.

Such bedwetting has, to my knowledge, no more probably cause than masturbation, the role of which is still grossly underestimated in the aetiology of bedwetting. In my experience children are well aware of this connection, and all psychical consequences thus follow on from it as though it were something they had never forgotten.

On that day unlike any day before or after, she was wearing a little purse around her neck, in the style that was modern at the time, and played with it as she lay there, opening it up, inserting a finger, closing it again, and so on. I watched her for a while and then explained to her what a symptomatic action was. Symptomatic actions are what I call those activities that a person performs automatically, unconsciously, without noticing, as though laying, which the person would dismiss as meaningless and which, if asked, he would describe as unimportant and random.

The interpretations are sometimes very easy. Dora’s bifoliate bag is nothing other than representation of the genitals, and her playing with it, opening it sand inserting her finger, is an unabashed but unmistakable mimed communication of what she would like to do, the act of masturbation.

There is much symbolism of this kind in life that we normally pass by without noticing. When I have myself the task of bringing to light what people hide, not through the impulsion of hypnosis, but through what they say and show, I thought the task more difficult than it actually is.

Anyone with eyes to see and ears to hear will be convinced that mortals cannot hide a secret. If one’s lips are silent one will be voluble with one’s finger-tips; betrayal seeps though every pore. And for that reason the task of bringing the most hidden parts of the soul to consciousness is very easy to accomplish.
__________
Three Essays on Sexual Theory
The limit of this disgust, however, is often purely conventional; someone who ardently kisses the lips of a beautiful girl might not be able to use her toothbrush without a feeling of disgust, although there is no reason to assume that his own oral cavity, which does not disgust him, is any cleaner than the girl’s.

Our attention is drawn here to the element of disgust, which gets in the way of the libidinal over-valuation of the sexual object, but which can in turn be overcome by the libido.

In the choice of the fetish, as Alfred Binet first claimed—and this has subsequently been proven with ample evidence—what is revealed is the continuing influence of a sexual impression generally received in early childhood, and which we may place next to the proverbial retentiveness of first love in a normal person.

The optical impression remains the path along which libidinal arousal is most frequently awoken, and no whose viability—if this teleological way of looking at things may be permitted—breeding selection depends, in that it allows the sexual object to develop into something beautiful.

The uncovering of the body, which is advancing along with civilisation, keeps alive the sexual curiosity which seeks to complete the sexual object by revealing its hidden parts, but which can be diverted (’sublimated’) into art if its interest can be distracted from the genitals to the form of the body as a whole.

Lingering over this intermediate sexual goal of sexually emphasised looking appears among most normal people, indeed it gives them the opportunity to elevate a certain proportion of their libido to higher artistic goals.

By demonstrating the part played by perverse impulses in the formation of symptoms in psychoneuroses, we have increased the number of people who would count as perverts to a quite extraordinary level.

The mother would probably be horrified if it were explained to her that with all her cresses she was awakening her child’s sexual drive and preparing its later intensity. She considers her actions to be asexual, ‘pure’ love, since she carefully avoids giving the child’s genitals any more stimulation than is unavoidable in the pursuit of hygiene. But the sexual drive is not only aroused by stimulating the genital zone, as we know; what we call affection will inevitably one day have its effect on the genital zone.

Even a person who has successfully avoided the incestuouus fixation of his or her libido does not totally escape its influence. It is clearly an echo of that phase of development if the object of a young man’s first passionate love is, as so often, a mature woman, and a girl’s is an older man invested with authority, both of whom bring to life the image of the mother and the father. In all likelihood, object-choice is generally made according to these models. Above all, a man will seek his remembered image of his mother, which has dominated him since earliest childhood.
__________
On the Sexual Theories of Children
‘The stork brings the children and fetches them out of the water’. I have reason to assume that far more children are dissatisfied with this solution than parents imagine, and that they respond to it with energetic doubt, although this is not always openly expressed . . . but from this first deception and dismissal onwards they nurture within themselves a mistrust of adults they come to suspect something forbidden that must be withheld from them bu the ‘grown-ups’, and for that reason they shroud their subsequent investigations in mystery.
__________
Contributions to the Psychology of Erotic Life
Poets are bound to the condition of achieving intellectual and aesthetic pleasure as well as certain emotional effects, and for that reason they cannot represent the stuff of reality unaltered, but are obliged to isolate fragments of it, dissolve obstructive connections, soften the whole and fill any gaps.

If we listen to the statements of our great alcoholics, such as Böcklin, concerning their relationship with wine, it sounds like the purest harmony, a model for a happy marriage. Why is the lover's relationship to his sexual object so very different?

[Misha · Rating 2 out of 5]

really interesting and well written but had to take stars off for misogyny, colonialist mentality, and general ridiculous-ness hahaha

[Jemma Henderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Freud was on some mad shit when he wrote this, where can I get some?

In all seriousness, he had some interesting ideas about the human psychie, but I can’t get past the whole 'you want to fuck your mother and that is why you are depressed' kinda language.


To be honest, I didn’t read this whole book. I just picked and chose the most interesting topics. We talk about Freud a lot in my psychology classes, so I wanted to see his thoughts right from the source.

[Aedan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Freud is weird.

[Kafamdaki Makine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Psikolojinin babası psikiyatri analizin dedesidir. Yaptığı yorumlar o yüzyılda bir çık kişinin gözünü korkutmuş olabilir. Şuan bile açıklaması anlaması zor şeyler ama bana göre bu bakış açısını yakalamayı başaramıyoruz. Freud babanın yargısı hissettiklerimiz yada aklımızdan geçenler değil. Tamamen düşünmeden bağımsız bir bilinçaltı. Her zaman mantıklı ve gerçek olması gerek olmayan bit bilinçaltı. Dediklerini ya külliyen yaşan yada kabul edeceğiz diye bir şey demiyorum ama bu kadar çok kapı açan bir adamın bizim düşüncemizden üstün olduğunu kabul etmeliyiz. Bize abesle iştigal gelen şeyler gündelik hayatıma yansıttığımız düşünceler. Böylelikle olaya yabancılaşmış oluyoruz. Psikanaliz çok daha farklı bir yapıda, aşı üstünde düşüncelerin ve zihnin altıdır.

[Stan Georgiana · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

I don't agree with Freud, but I like him.

[Liv Yarwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

so chopped and wrong and full of lies i love it

[Evdokia Magkou · Rating 3 out of 5]

What is this guy thinking

[Stevie · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 star because it was a lot of words.

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wish Freud would stay away from women

[Millan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Garbage

[Jas Lise · Rating 1 out of 5]

finally finished this last night after struggling through it for over a year. it's a real struggle to read, the writing is messy and his opinions are genuine batshit. i did reference it on my gamsat essay and that did pretty well though so I can't give it one star

[Curtis Anthony Bozif · Rating 3 out of 5]

That I like the Panguin translation and introductions but miss the SE index.

[Ezops · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly on male subliminal perspective of development of the sexuality. I cannot say I'm enlightened.

[Miss Periwinkle ♡ · Rating 1 out of 5]

People said Sigmund Freud was a weird man, but I didn't believe then I spent my money and time on this book and he was a weird man.

[Unliterario. · Rating 3 out of 5]

El concepto del amor en la teoría psicoanalítica de Sigmund Freud es un tema complejo y multifacético que se desarrolla a lo largo de su obra. En este análisis, exploraremos la visión freudiana del amor, destacando sus componentes clave y sus implicaciones para la comprensión de la experiencia humana. En primer lugar, Freud considera que el amor es una forma de energía psíquica que se origina en la libido, es decir, en la energía sexual instintiva. Sin embargo, a medida que el individuo se desarrolla y madura, la libido se canaliza hacia objetos y personas específicas, dando lugar a diferentes formas de amor.

Una de las distinciones más importantes que hace Freud es entre el amor objetal y el amor narcisista. El amor objetal se refiere al amor dirigido hacia objetos o personas externas, mientras que el amor narcisista se refiere al amor dirigido hacia uno mismo. Freud considera que el amor narcisista es una forma primitiva y egocéntrica de amor que se caracteriza por la falta de empatía y la incapacidad para reconocer la autonomía del otro. En cuanto al amor objetal, Freud lo divide en dos categorías: el amor anaclítico y el amor idealizado. El amor anaclítico se refiere al amor que se basa en la dependencia y la necesidad de protección y cuidado. Este tipo de amor se caracteriza por la búsqueda de una figura parental o de un objeto que pueda proporcionar seguridad y comodidad. Por otro lado, el amor idealizado se refiere al amor que se basa en la admiración y la idealización de la persona amada. Este tipo de amor se caracteriza por la búsqueda de una figura que pueda ser objeto de admiración y adoración.

Freud también explora la relación entre el amor y la agresión, destacando la idea de que el amor y la agresión son dos caras de la misma moneda. Según Freud, el amor puede ser una forma de canalizar la agresión y la hostilidad hacia objetos o personas específicas, lo que puede llevar a la formación de vínculos sadomasoquistas.

En resumen, la visión freudiana del amor es compleja y multifacética, y se caracteriza por la idea de que el amor es una forma de energía psíquica que se origina en la libido. Freud destaca la importancia de distinguir entre diferentes formas de amor, como el amor objetal y el amor narcisista, y explora la relación entre el amor y la agresión. Su teoría del amor sigue siendo influyente en la psicología y la psiquiatría contemporáneas, y sigue siendo un tema de debate y discusión en la comunidad.

[Heva · Rating 4 out of 5]

In "The Psychology of Love," Freud delves into the complexities of human relationships, exploring the unconscious motivations that drive our romantic desires and behaviors. Through his trademark psychoanalytic approach, he offers insights into the nature of love, lust, and attachment, and the ways in which they shape our lives.

One of the most fascinating aspects of Freud's analysis is his emphasis on the role of the unconscious in shaping our romantic experiences. He argues that our desires and attractions are not always based on conscious preferences or rational decision-making, but are often rooted in deeper, unconscious psychological forces.

While Freud's theories have been criticized by some for their lack of empirical evidence, his insights into the human psyche continue to inspire and inform contemporary psychology and psychotherapy. And while his ideas may be controversial at times, his willingness to explore the darker, more complex aspects of human nature is a testament to his enduring influence.

It's worth noting that Freud's approach to psychology is quite different from that of his contemporary, Carl Jung. Jung placed a greater emphasis on spirituality and the collective unconscious, and his work often focused on the symbolic and archetypal dimensions of human experience. While both Freud and Jung are important figures in the history of psychology, readers looking for a more spiritual or symbolic approach to love may find Jung's work more appealing.

Overall, "The Psychology of Love" is a fascinating and thought-provoking exploration of one of the most complex and fundamental aspects of human experience. Whether you are a student of psychology or simply interested in understanding the intricacies of romantic relationships, this book is well worth a read.

[Jovial · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Psychology of Love" takes readers on an insightful exploration of one of the most intricate and universal human experiences. Authored by experts in the field, this book offers a thought-provoking journey through the intricate interplay of emotions, biology, and culture that shape our understanding of love.

Diving into the complexities of human relationships, the book delves deep into the psychological and neurological aspects that underpin our capacity to love and form meaningful connections. The authors deftly navigate the landscape of attraction, attachment, and the science behind the emotional highs and lows that love brings.

The strength of "The Psychology of Love" lies in its ability to bridge academic research with relatable real-life examples. The writing is engaging and accessible, making complex theories and concepts approachable to readers without a formal background in psychology. From the biochemical reactions that ignite attraction to the evolutionary forces that drive our behaviors, the book provides a comprehensive yet accessible overview.

Each chapter offers valuable insights into different dimensions of love, including romantic relationships, familial bonds, and friendships. The book encourages self-reflection, prompting readers to examine their own experiences and motivations in the realm of love.

Penguin Classics' commitment to curating thought-provoking and enlightening works is evident in the publication of "The Psychology of Love." The inclusion of supplementary materials enhances the reading experience, offering context and suggesting further avenues for exploration.

While the book's comprehensive coverage is commendable, it does occasionally skim the surface of some intricate topics. Deeper exploration could have provided more profound insights into certain psychological phenomena associated with love.

In conclusion, "The Psychology of Love" offers readers an engaging and informative journey into the inner workings of human emotions and relationships. Whether you're a psychology enthusiast or simply intrigued by the mechanics of love, this book provides an accessible entry point into the captivating world of psychological exploration. While it may not delve into every nook and cranny, it undoubtedly enriches our understanding of the profound role that love plays in shaping our lives.

[Skylar · Rating 3 out of 5]

While Freud's sexism and antiquated treatment of women can be both laughable and icky, the underlying power of how he relates the unconscious drives of love and sexuality by both sexes throughout their lives, from infantile sexual behavior to adult perversions, is noteworthy in spite of the numerous flaws of his pseudoscience. The "Dora Case" is the highlight of Psychology of Love, another collection of translations removed from the bias of Strachey, along with Three Essays on Sexual Theory as a broad investigation on homosexuality (inversion) and early childhood sexuality, but the following texts are repetitive and on the whole weaker in terms of their poor anthropological nature as well as establishing inequality within the Oedipus Complex, castration complex, and penis envy; however, "A Child is Beaten" is thoroughly entertaining in Freud's treatment of dreams into masochistic perversions. Freud's urethra-erotic disposition was off the charts.

[Dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Intéressant. Je ne suis pas vraiment d’accord sur tous les points. Certaines fois, je juge les pensées de M. Freud assez farfelues. Cependant, je dois reconnaître que de nombreuses théories sont intéressantes et semblent logiques, voire vraies. La lecture de ce livre m’a beaucoup surprise. Je pensais que j’allais détester ces essais, je pensais que j’allais prendre cet homme pour un fou. Tout le contraire. Je le respecte. Et je pense qu’il a offert une bonne base à la psychanalyse. Des idées un peu datées et parfois un peu trop conservatrices, mais des idées intéressantes à lire et à écouter

[Dragan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The psychology of love is very heavy at times to understand, this is my main my point I take away from this book. Dora and her dream really didn’t interest me but the other parts of the book, were so intriguing to read about. It’s a book where you have to push through at times to get to stuff that can be interesting is the only negative.

[Violette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Les 2 premiers textes parlaient principalement du complexe d’Oedipe et je ne les ai pas trouvé très pertinents, en tout cas ils ne m’ont pas éclairé si ce n’est le contraire.
En revanche, le dernier texte de « Le tabou de la virginité » de 1918, explique très bien certains comportements chez la femme. (Jsp si Freud est sexiste ou s’il est juste gay 🤷🏻‍♀️)

[Michael Lew · Rating 3 out of 5]

surprisingly funny. freud lets you into his therapy room and zany theories and you follow these unnamed but real characters as freud 'diagnoses' them. i really enjoyed reading this and it certainly sparks the imagination but yk... as a work of 'psychology' this text might've done more harm than good through the 60s and onwards hahaha. impossible to say. i'm happy it exists.

[Edmond · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sex, sex, sex and more sex, that is Freud. Everything and anything is sex according to Freud. Alas, Freud is correct. Freud clearly explains the nature of the sexual/death drive in detail. I have a complete understanding of the death and life issues because of Freud.

[Shelley]

It's influential. According to the intro Freud was the first person to talk about sexuality like this. As much as I want to believe he wasn't onto anything, as I have gotten older I've noticed that he wasn't entirely wrong.

[Jessica ♥️ · Rating 1 out of 5]

Da non esperta in materia psicologica Freud riesce comunque a non farmici appassionare. Della vita amorosa si accenna ben poco, piuttosto si mettono al centro gli istinti sessuali, in special modo quelli infantili e anali. Non di mio interesse.

[Heather Tang · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ughh...what can I say? I respect Mr.Freud.

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Punto di vista interessante