What do you think?
Rate this book
Arctic Absolution #1
Arctic Absolution
This is a previously-published edition of ISBN 1622341996 (ISBN13: 9781622341993).
Dixon Rowe is a good man and a good cop who keeps finding himself in bed with the enemy. After he picks up a young ex-con named Jaye Larson for stealing food, Dixon is seduced by the possibility of helping someone truly in need. He tells himself he’s assisting young Jaye out of the goodness of his heart--not because of how sexy Jaye is under all of the tattoos and defiance. But temptation entangles them as the malicious ghosts of Jaye's past returns to haunt their every step. Jaye’s ghosts are bad enough, but the demon from Dixon's past is real enough to put both of their lives in danger. (M/M)
Dixon Rowe is a good man and a good cop who keeps finding himself in bed with the enemy. After he picks up a young ex-con named Jaye Larson for stealing food, Dixon is seduced by the possibility of helping someone truly in need. He tells himself he’s assisting young Jaye out of the goodness of his heart--not because of how sexy Jaye is under all of the tattoos and defiance. But temptation entangles them as the malicious ghosts of Jaye's past returns to haunt their every step. Jaye’s ghosts are bad enough, but the demon from Dixon's past is real enough to put both of their lives in danger. (M/M)
256 pages, Paperback
First published December 16, 2014
4 people are currently reading
772 people want to read
About the author
Lynn Kelling
29 books390 followersLynn Kelling began writing in order to tell stories that aren’t afraid of the dark, don’t hold anything back and always strive to be memorable, forging lasting attachments between character and reader. Her inspiration comes from taking a closer look at behaviors and ideas lurking at the fringes of life—basically anything that people may hesitate to speak of in mixed company, but everyone wonders about anyway. Her work is driven by the taboo in order to expose the humanity within it. Lynn is an artist, designer and lover of any form of creative self-expression that comes from a place of honesty and emotion, whether it's body art or opera. She has had multiple novels published, has written over fifty works of erotic fiction of varying lengths, and always has several novels in progress.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 125 reviews
January 30, 2015
~4.5~
The blurb states: Both of their pasts are filled with malicious ghosts that haunt every step....
Translation (trigger warning):
I feel this should be disclosed, because these themes are a trigger for some readers. Had I known exactly what "malicious ghosts" entailed, I may not have read this book.
And I would have missed out.
This is not an easy book to read: the themes are dark and harsh, but the story is also hopeful and romantic.
Both Dixon and Jaye are damaged characters. Dixon is a 32-year-old Alaska State trooper, big, strong, and steady. Jaye is a 21-year-old with a two-year prison sentence behind him. Jaye is beautiful but haunted; he wears his tattoos like armor.
At first glance, it's Jaye who needs to be saved, Jaye who needs to be protected. Jaye wants to be Dixon's kept boy. The two negotiate an arrangement: Dixon will watch out for Jaye, making sure Jaye doesn't freeze or starve in the Alaskan wilderness, and in return Jaye will be Dixon's whore.
But Jaye is much more than a rent-boy, and Dixon's feelings for him transcend lust.
Their relationship is complex, maddening, ever changing, and it soon becomes obvious that Dixon needs Jaye as much, if not more, than Jaye needs Dixon.
Dixon's ex-boyfriend, Marcus, is back in town, and Dixon becomes a different man with Marcus around. Marcus owns Dixon, owns him whether Dixon wants to be owned or not. The two have a volatile, disturbing relationship.
Both Dixon and Jaye make poor choices that have irreversible consequences. They negotiate for love and friendship. They push and pull. They're angry. And terrified. There is a tenuous balance of power as they struggle with their inner demons.
The chemistry between Jaye and Dixon is off-the-charts BLAZING: toy and role play, handcuffs, kink, and lots of rough, dirty, explosive sex. There is reenactment of abuse that made my whole body clench is terror. But their connection and desire are a living thing, beautiful and necessary.
While the landscape isn't described in detail, it's every present: the isolation, the bleakness.
Nothing is black and white in this book; there are only perceptions and layers. It's not always easy to distinguish reality from interpretation, as both MCs deal with cognitive dissonance, a disassociation central to Stockholm Syndrome.
Jaye's "voices," his memories of prison, the reason he was locked up in the first place, are particularly cruel. I couldn't be certain whether Jaye's "protector" in prison was a villain or a savior.
Arctic Absolution is the first Lynn Kelling book I've read. It's emotionally shattering but brilliant, frustrating but redemptive. It made me cry, and it made me think.
Despite the heavy themes and the suffering, Dixon and Jaye's relationship is a beacon in the darkness. The quiet moments in Jaye's cabin are lovely and tender, and there is so much passion and care between the men. My heart melted when Dixon called Jaye "J-bird," or when Jaye sketched the sleeping Dixon.
I believed in their love because it didn't come easily. Dixon and Jaye needed each other. They needed a HEA.
And they got one.
The blurb states: Both of their pasts are filled with malicious ghosts that haunt every step....
Translation (trigger warning):
I feel this should be disclosed, because these themes are a trigger for some readers. Had I known exactly what "malicious ghosts" entailed, I may not have read this book.
And I would have missed out.
This is not an easy book to read: the themes are dark and harsh, but the story is also hopeful and romantic.
Both Dixon and Jaye are damaged characters. Dixon is a 32-year-old Alaska State trooper, big, strong, and steady. Jaye is a 21-year-old with a two-year prison sentence behind him. Jaye is beautiful but haunted; he wears his tattoos like armor.
At first glance, it's Jaye who needs to be saved, Jaye who needs to be protected. Jaye wants to be Dixon's kept boy. The two negotiate an arrangement: Dixon will watch out for Jaye, making sure Jaye doesn't freeze or starve in the Alaskan wilderness, and in return Jaye will be Dixon's whore.
But Jaye is much more than a rent-boy, and Dixon's feelings for him transcend lust.
Their relationship is complex, maddening, ever changing, and it soon becomes obvious that Dixon needs Jaye as much, if not more, than Jaye needs Dixon.
"Being with you makes me happier than I've been in years, Jaye, and not because you know how to get me off. Stop selling yourself short. You're not that kid you used to be. You're the man I love. So, act like it already."
Dixon's ex-boyfriend, Marcus, is back in town, and Dixon becomes a different man with Marcus around. Marcus owns Dixon, owns him whether Dixon wants to be owned or not. The two have a volatile, disturbing relationship.
Both Dixon and Jaye make poor choices that have irreversible consequences. They negotiate for love and friendship. They push and pull. They're angry. And terrified. There is a tenuous balance of power as they struggle with their inner demons.
The chemistry between Jaye and Dixon is off-the-charts BLAZING: toy and role play, handcuffs, kink, and lots of rough, dirty, explosive sex. There is reenactment of abuse that made my whole body clench is terror. But their connection and desire are a living thing, beautiful and necessary.
"Can't we just fuck?" Jaye sighed, letting his head fall back as Dixon began trailing kisses and little licks down the underside of Jaye's left leg...moving lower and closer to Jaye's ass. "This seems complicated and unnecessary."
"Some things are more fun than fucking, young'un."
While the landscape isn't described in detail, it's every present: the isolation, the bleakness.
Nothing is black and white in this book; there are only perceptions and layers. It's not always easy to distinguish reality from interpretation, as both MCs deal with cognitive dissonance, a disassociation central to Stockholm Syndrome.
Jaye's "voices," his memories of prison, the reason he was locked up in the first place, are particularly cruel. I couldn't be certain whether Jaye's "protector" in prison was a villain or a savior.
Arctic Absolution is the first Lynn Kelling book I've read. It's emotionally shattering but brilliant, frustrating but redemptive. It made me cry, and it made me think.
Despite the heavy themes and the suffering, Dixon and Jaye's relationship is a beacon in the darkness. The quiet moments in Jaye's cabin are lovely and tender, and there is so much passion and care between the men. My heart melted when Dixon called Jaye "J-bird," or when Jaye sketched the sleeping Dixon.
I believed in their love because it didn't come easily. Dixon and Jaye needed each other. They needed a HEA.
And they got one.
Smiling hugely...Jaye sprinted across the empty parking lot to Dixon's awaiting Expedition.
"Mr Larson," Dixon warned. "I'm going to have to ask you---Oof"
Jaye jumped on him, wrapping his legs around Dixon's waist; arms slung around his neck, and kissed the words away. "To love you for the rest of my life? Deal."
April 11, 2016
If I rate a book 5 stars, it means I loved it and it gets the highest rating GoodReads has to offer. If I rate a book 5 stars and put it on my absolute favorites shelf, it means I loved it and want to shelf it for re-read in the near future because it is THAT good and deserves another read. If I rate a book 5 stars and shelf it fuck yeah, 5+ stars, it means that the book was the best of the best and without flaws (that I could see). It's a very rare thing for me to shelf a book fuck yeah, 5+ stars and it does need to be extra special. Well, Arctic Absolution made it to my fuck yeah, 5+ stars shelf. It was fucking brilliant!
Lynn Kelling knows how to write a wonderful angsty, dramatic tale full of BDSM and other forms of questionable sex and is able to do it with love, patience and understanding. Can you believe that? Incredible! It's just my favorite! Combining the nasty, naughty, disgraceful, bottom of the barrel filth with romance and love is like an oasis in the desert! It a thing of glory, really. And she absolutely nails it in this one.
There are too many ways to spoil this book, so I will not be summarizing. Read the blurb for that. But one thing I found especially genius in this book was the use of Alaska as the setting. Being from Minnesota and living her most of my life, I know how stifling the short days and long, extremely cold nights can get, and Alaska is so much worse. Alaska was definitely the third MC in this book and it helped to make everything that much bleaker and depressing. It also made the last two pages one of the best epilogues I have ever read.
If you like hurt/healing/comfort and a shit load of angst, seeing justice prevail, excellent characterization and a unique story line plus an orgasm inducing HEA, GET ON THIS BOOK! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! It's crazy good folks. CRAZY good.
May 27, 2015
I wasn't very convinced in the beginning but it goes from worse to better and I ended up loving it.
The main problem is the style of writing. There are times I wonder if the grammar is correct. I'm not native but some sentences still sound wrong. But that's nothing compared to the alternative POV in the same paragraph or even in the same sentence. The bi-POV annoyed me, I had to re-read parts because I wasn't sure which one of them is feeling this or that. The author even "cuts" scenes with no logic at all, because she doesn't change the POV, she just goes on with the bi-POV from the very same moment the cut it. It's as if the narrator almost works in a 1st POV but talking in 3rd person, and using both POV at the same time. It's weird.
This feeling is more present at the first third of the story. Then it becomes more "normal" and I could enjoy it.
The strong point of this love story are the characters and the isolation. We are apart of everything and everybody in a cabin in the woods, surrounded by cold and snow. I can't deny it's romantic. I have always liked the idea of two people in a place, alone.
I liked the MC a whole lot. They have their weak points and their strong ones and they are not the same ones. This means each one of them protects the other one's back. Their complementarity is complete and absolute. Dixon is a policeman but he has been abused by his partner when this guy should have appreciated and protected his submissive facet. Dixon can't face him, but Jaye can. Whereas Jaye's past is strangling him, Dixon pushes him above water. It's incredible how two people so hurt can save each other. Some of their actions are unforgivable in the real scheme of things (and I mean, not only breaking the law on purpose but with dubiously ethical methods and results), but witnessing their motivations and fears you can understand them, if not approve them.
There is a special atmosphere that surrounds everything is this story. Dixon and Jaye are not the same old pair. They are moved by different reasons: one wants to be a good person, one wants to make an exchange of favors. But from the very beginning you feel this is not how two normal guys first meet. They feel a pull towards each other and undeniable so, I could feel it. Even in that weird way of writing, I could feel it.
To sum it up, I liked the book pretty much. And now lots of snowy gifs because there is no better occasion than this one :D .
The main problem is the style of writing. There are times I wonder if the grammar is correct. I'm not native but some sentences still sound wrong. But that's nothing compared to the alternative POV in the same paragraph or even in the same sentence. The bi-POV annoyed me, I had to re-read parts because I wasn't sure which one of them is feeling this or that. The author even "cuts" scenes with no logic at all, because she doesn't change the POV, she just goes on with the bi-POV from the very same moment the cut it. It's as if the narrator almost works in a 1st POV but talking in 3rd person, and using both POV at the same time. It's weird.
This feeling is more present at the first third of the story. Then it becomes more "normal" and I could enjoy it.
The strong point of this love story are the characters and the isolation. We are apart of everything and everybody in a cabin in the woods, surrounded by cold and snow. I can't deny it's romantic. I have always liked the idea of two people in a place, alone.
I liked the MC a whole lot. They have their weak points and their strong ones and they are not the same ones. This means each one of them protects the other one's back. Their complementarity is complete and absolute. Dixon is a policeman but he has been abused by his partner when this guy should have appreciated and protected his submissive facet. Dixon can't face him, but Jaye can. Whereas Jaye's past is strangling him, Dixon pushes him above water. It's incredible how two people so hurt can save each other. Some of their actions are unforgivable in the real scheme of things (and I mean, not only breaking the law on purpose but with dubiously ethical methods and results), but witnessing their motivations and fears you can understand them, if not approve them.
There is a special atmosphere that surrounds everything is this story. Dixon and Jaye are not the same old pair. They are moved by different reasons: one wants to be a good person, one wants to make an exchange of favors. But from the very beginning you feel this is not how two normal guys first meet. They feel a pull towards each other and undeniable so, I could feel it. Even in that weird way of writing, I could feel it.
To sum it up, I liked the book pretty much. And now lots of snowy gifs because there is no better occasion than this one :D .
January 28, 2015
3.5 stars
Dark twisty contrasts
Cold vs HotNever just one thing or another but a mixture.
Need vs Abuse
Love vs Hate
Life vs Death
Strength vs Weakness
Dealing with dark desires, juggling them to avoid the hurt. Not always so easy to know when or where to draw the line. Jaye playing the cards he has been dealt. Not an easy game but he plays, manipulates and survives. Might not make him a ‘nice’ man but a survivor yes, and what Dixon needs. They are able to look at each other and accept each other warts and all.
Dark, twisty writing which explores human emotions, choices, decisions, survival, abuse. When Kelling was talking about a particular character who enjoyed sucking out the joy of others, a ‘friend’ of mine immediately came to mind and my previous realisation that the ‘friend’ was not good for me, that I always felt bad after interacting with her, was re-enforced. Unfortunately it’s true that there are abusive people who feel good when they are putting others down and not every ‘friend’ is worthy of that title.
BR with Giulio who got ice-bound……….
December 1, 2020
Well, this is a study in domestic violence, maladaptive behaviour, as well as the psychological end-result of prolonged physical and emotional trauma. If you don't mind, are into, darker/edgier psychological romances, can handle rape (triggers), nasty post trauma thoughts which come to life on the page, and a burgeoning relationship between two deeply troubled, flawed characters, read this book. If you also like age-based, cop-con role play sex, some BDSM themes, if you enjoy angst overload, want your (flawed) characters to work overtime for their HEA, this is your book. Lynn Kelling knocked it out of the ballpark - it felt like work, but, man, I loved it.
NSFW Review - http://ontopdownunderbookreviews.com/...
NSFW Review - http://ontopdownunderbookreviews.com/...
December 16, 2014
5 holy shit what did I just read stars! This book was crazy good! Lynn Kelling is a freaking genius. I had so many emotions throughout this book. But just WOW!
February 27, 2020
2.6 stars
I had a weird experience reading this book. I don’t think it was ever very good, but I decided to suspend disbelief and go with it because there was something that kept me interested anyway and I’m pretty sure it was the gap between what I expected from the initial setup and what I got instead.
The MCs are a cop and a ten-year-younger ex-con and they met when Dixon, the cop, responds to a call to the grocery store where Jaye is stealing food. Their first meeting is more or less what you can expect and once Dixon realizes Jaye is basically just trying to survive, he decides to help him.
That’s a pretty standard premise, but then things shifted and...I was surprised. The characters, Dixon especially, weren’t at all what I expected, the cop was just as fucked up as the ex-con, if not more. There was an aspect of his life that made me feel for him, but that wasn’t enough to compensate for So, no, I didn’t like Dixon, but I didn’t hate him either and that was weird because there were things that would’ve made me DNF in disgust in most cases.
The dynamic between Dixon and Jaye was so...unhealthy and yet, or probably because of it, strangely fascinating, in a twisted sort of way. While I didn’t care for either of the MCs, I was really curious to see how things would shift from that initial situation to a “real” romance, while dealing with all the other things going on in their lives.
Then, at around 60%, there was a twist that had the potential to make things really good or really bad. It didn’t go really bad, but it didn’t go the other way either. It just went kind of meh, which was worse than both alternatives. The consequences of that plot twist were “swept under the rug” until it was convenient to bring them out again and resolve things, and in the meantime the relationship went from 0 to 60 so fast that when the ILYs came out I was scratching my head and wondering where that was coming from. It was like I had missed the part where the author showed me how they had moved from the fucked-up-dynamic stage to the healthy-relationship one. Maybe that will happen in the second book, but I doubt it. I think I read it all wrong from the beginning and their weird dynamic was supposed to be the romance all along. If that’s so, it failed spectacularly for me; I would’ve preferred to avoid the declarations of love and leave it at two messed-up guys finding each other and making the “best” out of it, instead of passing this mock-up of a relationship as something healthy for either of them.
Even as I’m writing this, I still haven’t decided on the rating. When all else fails, turn to math. I think 3 stars for the first 60%, 2 for the last 40%. 2.6 stars it is. Rounded down because, even though I didn’t hate it, I really can’t bring myself to round up. Sorry, math.
Content warning:
I had a weird experience reading this book. I don’t think it was ever very good, but I decided to suspend disbelief and go with it because there was something that kept me interested anyway and I’m pretty sure it was the gap between what I expected from the initial setup and what I got instead.
The MCs are a cop and a ten-year-younger ex-con and they met when Dixon, the cop, responds to a call to the grocery store where Jaye is stealing food. Their first meeting is more or less what you can expect and once Dixon realizes Jaye is basically just trying to survive, he decides to help him.
That’s a pretty standard premise, but then things shifted and...I was surprised. The characters, Dixon especially, weren’t at all what I expected, the cop was just as fucked up as the ex-con, if not more. There was an aspect of his life that made me feel for him, but that wasn’t enough to compensate for So, no, I didn’t like Dixon, but I didn’t hate him either and that was weird because there were things that would’ve made me DNF in disgust in most cases.
The dynamic between Dixon and Jaye was so...unhealthy and yet, or probably because of it, strangely fascinating, in a twisted sort of way. While I didn’t care for either of the MCs, I was really curious to see how things would shift from that initial situation to a “real” romance, while dealing with all the other things going on in their lives.
Then, at around 60%, there was a twist that had the potential to make things really good or really bad. It didn’t go really bad, but it didn’t go the other way either. It just went kind of meh, which was worse than both alternatives. The consequences of that plot twist were “swept under the rug” until it was convenient to bring them out again and resolve things, and in the meantime the relationship went from 0 to 60 so fast that when the ILYs came out I was scratching my head and wondering where that was coming from. It was like I had missed the part where the author showed me how they had moved from the fucked-up-dynamic stage to the healthy-relationship one. Maybe that will happen in the second book, but I doubt it. I think I read it all wrong from the beginning and their weird dynamic was supposed to be the romance all along. If that’s so, it failed spectacularly for me; I would’ve preferred to avoid the declarations of love and leave it at two messed-up guys finding each other and making the “best” out of it, instead of passing this mock-up of a relationship as something healthy for either of them.
Even as I’m writing this, I still haven’t decided on the rating. When all else fails, turn to math. I think 3 stars for the first 60%, 2 for the last 40%. 2.6 stars it is. Rounded down because, even though I didn’t hate it, I really can’t bring myself to round up. Sorry, math.
Content warning:
June 24, 2018
That was not really what I thought it would be based on the blurb, but that is not to say I didn’t enjoy it, because I did.
Dixon is a 32-year-old cop in a remote Alaskan city. One evening, he is called for an on-going theft in a convenience store. He arrives just in time to catch Jaye, a 21-year-old man, who looks like a teen, with a bag of groceries he stole because he’s hungry. And then begins their relationship.
It’s intense as both Jaye and Dixon have a heavy past – possible triggers - that haunts them in the present. For me, it was sometimes oppressive and hopeless, with welcomed touches of hot chemistry and tenderness. I was immersed in this story, intrigued by Dixon and Jaye and captivated by this "nothing is black or white" vibe.
Can’t tell more to avoid spoilers, but Dani wrote it well in her review : ”Their relationship is complex, maddening, ever changing, and it soon becomes obvious that Dixon needs Jaye as much, if not more, than Jaye needs Dixon.”.
Actually, Dani’s review expresses very well what this story is about : read it and if it’s something that could work for you, then try this book : it’s worth it.
** personal note** : thank you, Amanda for this gift. Not a fluffy read, but I was really hooked !!
Dixon is a 32-year-old cop in a remote Alaskan city. One evening, he is called for an on-going theft in a convenience store. He arrives just in time to catch Jaye, a 21-year-old man, who looks like a teen, with a bag of groceries he stole because he’s hungry. And then begins their relationship.
It’s intense as both Jaye and Dixon have a heavy past – possible triggers - that haunts them in the present. For me, it was sometimes oppressive and hopeless, with welcomed touches of hot chemistry and tenderness. I was immersed in this story, intrigued by Dixon and Jaye and captivated by this "nothing is black or white" vibe.
Can’t tell more to avoid spoilers, but Dani wrote it well in her review : ”Their relationship is complex, maddening, ever changing, and it soon becomes obvious that Dixon needs Jaye as much, if not more, than Jaye needs Dixon.”.
Actually, Dani’s review expresses very well what this story is about : read it and if it’s something that could work for you, then try this book : it’s worth it.
** personal note** : thank you, Amanda for this gift. Not a fluffy read, but I was really hooked !!
April 12, 2016
Woot!! Two damaged souls, one definitely sick and twisted psycho stalker... AND a Happy Ending!! What more could I ask for?? 4.5 stars from me. Thanks Lynn!!
June 23, 2018
Goodness gracious! It feels more like 5 hundred stars!!!
The best book I've read this year! And it beautifully ends up the 2016 for me...
To be honest, I am speechless! I have no words good enough to describe this wonderful book... I wish I could say it was "unputdownable" but it wasn't, not for me... I had to put it aside so many times because it was just so intense! It made me FEEL so much, it created so many thoughts and images in my head... I needed time to get through it, to think over all those emotions raging inside me and things I wanted to DO to HELP Jaye and Dixon!
I suppose I'm just not as strong as Jaye...
OK, maybe I'll just limit my incoherent babbling and let the images speak...
This one time I think I'll just share pictures with you. They'll show you better what I felt reading Arctic Absolution.
So, it starts in a place like this:
In a situation like this:
With two men like these:
But it's all only appearances!
Jaye is a young, tattooed ex-con who is horribly, terrifyingly, overwhelmingly haunted by the ghosts of all those mean people who did bad things to him...
Dixon is an Alaskan trooper, seemingly strong and trying to do "the right things" but, as we learn in time, he's not much less damaged than Jaye! He felt trapped in his violent, toxic relationship and has his own ghost to beat...
Jaye and Dixon are so strong and fearless together! They almost instantly feel protective and possessive towards each other. And that's the focal point of their whole story - together they are unstoppable!
And though it's Jaye who's been through so many terrible things, so many scary situations and so many heart-breaking moments - he's the one who proves to have an iron core and who always fights back. And especially over something that's become so dear to him like Dixon.
I don't want to spoil you the pleasure of reading this beautiful, emotional book so I'll just say, that those two fight so terribly and desperately to be happy together that my heart and soul cried for them!!!
The ending was so hopeful:
For Jaye, I just kept repeating like a mantra: My beautiful J-bird, be free!
Be free, be safe, be free, find joy, be free, be happy, be free, love!
Tip: I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone interested in Arctic Absolution to read Caged Jaye first! It really gives you the insight and understanding of Jaye's life and circumstances and adds depth to AA.
One more pic (I just can't stop myself!!!):
The best book I've read this year! And it beautifully ends up the 2016 for me...
To be honest, I am speechless! I have no words good enough to describe this wonderful book... I wish I could say it was "unputdownable" but it wasn't, not for me... I had to put it aside so many times because it was just so intense! It made me FEEL so much, it created so many thoughts and images in my head... I needed time to get through it, to think over all those emotions raging inside me and things I wanted to DO to HELP Jaye and Dixon!
I suppose I'm just not as strong as Jaye...
OK, maybe I'll just limit my incoherent babbling and let the images speak...
This one time I think I'll just share pictures with you. They'll show you better what I felt reading Arctic Absolution.
So, it starts in a place like this:
In a situation like this:
With two men like these:
But it's all only appearances!
Jaye is a young, tattooed ex-con who is horribly, terrifyingly, overwhelmingly haunted by the ghosts of all those mean people who did bad things to him...
Dixon is an Alaskan trooper, seemingly strong and trying to do "the right things" but, as we learn in time, he's not much less damaged than Jaye! He felt trapped in his violent, toxic relationship and has his own ghost to beat...
Jaye and Dixon are so strong and fearless together! They almost instantly feel protective and possessive towards each other. And that's the focal point of their whole story - together they are unstoppable!
And though it's Jaye who's been through so many terrible things, so many scary situations and so many heart-breaking moments - he's the one who proves to have an iron core and who always fights back. And especially over something that's become so dear to him like Dixon.
I don't want to spoil you the pleasure of reading this beautiful, emotional book so I'll just say, that those two fight so terribly and desperately to be happy together that my heart and soul cried for them!!!
The ending was so hopeful:
For Jaye, I just kept repeating like a mantra: My beautiful J-bird, be free!
Be free, be safe, be free, find joy, be free, be happy, be free, love!
Tip: I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone interested in Arctic Absolution to read Caged Jaye first! It really gives you the insight and understanding of Jaye's life and circumstances and adds depth to AA.
One more pic (I just can't stop myself!!!):
January 15, 2015
Arctic Absolution wasn't a light and fluffy story. There's no knight in shining armor here. In fact, both MC's are very damaged men who are struggling to heal from their pasts. The story is well written and the character development is top notch. And while this wasn't the easiest of reads, I am very glad I read it and I look forward to reading more by this author.
Jaye Larson is young. Though 21, he looks much younger and he is pretty. Even his tattoos don't detract from how beautiful he is. He's just recently out of prison and living in Alaska in the cabin that had belonged to his only relative (now deceased). He's had trouble finding work because of his ex-con status and one desperate night he shoplifts some food from a local grocery. No weapons, just one desperate and hungry young man.
Dixon Rowe is about ten years older than Jaye. He's an Alaska State Trooper and living in a small Alaska town, where everyone tends to know your business. Dixon is the trouper called to the small grocery store and he catches Jaye when he was running away with the food he stole. Something in the way Jaye looked and carried himself brought out Dixon's more protective instincts and Dixon responds to that instinct by buying Jaye food and taking him home and offering to help him get a job. Jaye, for the past couple years, has only had his body to use as currency and he tries to use that currency to thank Dixon for his kindness. Dixon resists, though he doesn't really want to.
Dixon really wants to be a good man and he's driven to try to do the right thing. On the surface, it would appear that Dixon is a stable, rational guy. However, he's got issues he hasn't even begun to address. He's recently out of an abusive relationship that he is still making excuses for. And like so many abuse victims, he tells himself he wanted it and because he got off, he must have liked it. It breaks my heart to hear him talk about it. He doesn't see that Marcus - his ex - never loved him. What started as a D/s BDSM relationship, quickly escalated beyond Safe, Sane and Consensual and into the realm of abuse.
Neither Jaye, nor Dixon really knows just how damaged the other is. On the surface, it would make sense for Jaye to be the most messed up, but the more we get to know them both, the more it is clear that, while Jaye definitely suffers from PTSD, he is mostly coping. He still has a ways to go before he gets to where he needs to be, but Jaye is very pragmatic. Though he was deeply affected by the events that hurt him and put him in prison, not to mention the abuse he suffered while in prison, he recognizes that the people that hurt him cannot presently get to him.
Dixon, conversely, hasn't gotten to the coping stage yet. He's still at the 'put myself in harms way to protect those around me' stage. That is perfectly admiriable in his job, but he does no one any favors by trying to deal with Marcus himself. Danger danger, Will Robinson! Marcus is more dangerous than anyone assumed and he has a power over Dixon that is is not only unsafe, in this case, but also unhealthy. For everyone.
I was at the edge of my seat as the events unfolded, wondering how it would all resolve. Our MC's do get their much deserved HEA, but the path to get there is hard and they still have a lot of healing to do. But I can breathe now.
Jaye Larson is young. Though 21, he looks much younger and he is pretty. Even his tattoos don't detract from how beautiful he is. He's just recently out of prison and living in Alaska in the cabin that had belonged to his only relative (now deceased). He's had trouble finding work because of his ex-con status and one desperate night he shoplifts some food from a local grocery. No weapons, just one desperate and hungry young man.
Dixon Rowe is about ten years older than Jaye. He's an Alaska State Trooper and living in a small Alaska town, where everyone tends to know your business. Dixon is the trouper called to the small grocery store and he catches Jaye when he was running away with the food he stole. Something in the way Jaye looked and carried himself brought out Dixon's more protective instincts and Dixon responds to that instinct by buying Jaye food and taking him home and offering to help him get a job. Jaye, for the past couple years, has only had his body to use as currency and he tries to use that currency to thank Dixon for his kindness. Dixon resists, though he doesn't really want to.
Dixon really wants to be a good man and he's driven to try to do the right thing. On the surface, it would appear that Dixon is a stable, rational guy. However, he's got issues he hasn't even begun to address. He's recently out of an abusive relationship that he is still making excuses for. And like so many abuse victims, he tells himself he wanted it and because he got off, he must have liked it. It breaks my heart to hear him talk about it. He doesn't see that Marcus - his ex - never loved him. What started as a D/s BDSM relationship, quickly escalated beyond Safe, Sane and Consensual and into the realm of abuse.
Neither Jaye, nor Dixon really knows just how damaged the other is. On the surface, it would make sense for Jaye to be the most messed up, but the more we get to know them both, the more it is clear that, while Jaye definitely suffers from PTSD, he is mostly coping. He still has a ways to go before he gets to where he needs to be, but Jaye is very pragmatic. Though he was deeply affected by the events that hurt him and put him in prison, not to mention the abuse he suffered while in prison, he recognizes that the people that hurt him cannot presently get to him.
Dixon, conversely, hasn't gotten to the coping stage yet. He's still at the 'put myself in harms way to protect those around me' stage. That is perfectly admiriable in his job, but he does no one any favors by trying to deal with Marcus himself. Danger danger, Will Robinson! Marcus is more dangerous than anyone assumed and he has a power over Dixon that is is not only unsafe, in this case, but also unhealthy. For everyone.
I was at the edge of my seat as the events unfolded, wondering how it would all resolve. Our MC's do get their much deserved HEA, but the path to get there is hard and they still have a lot of healing to do. But I can breathe now.
April 7, 2016
Another fantastic read from Lynn Kelling. There is so much to the story, but I don't want to give any of it away so no spoilers here.
One thing about Lynn's stories is that she does damaged characters so well, and Jaye and Dixon both have their fair share of past horrors. There are so many layers to each character and the more they are peeled back, the more your heart breaks for each man. Jaye is 21 and was brutally ripped out of the normal life he was living. Since that time his instinct is to do what he needs to survive. Dixon, a 32 year old Alaska trooper would do anything to protect those he loves even at his own expense, and that has lead to some poor decisions. The relationship that develops is intense and tender and a bit kinky, and is nothing that either man has ever before had.
The writing and story flowed very well. There is a lot of darkness surrounding the men, and the backdrop of the Alaskan wilds just adds to it. The story does have some graphic scenes of violence so read any warnings before you jump in. If you love a hurt/comfort story of hard won love that is both harsh and beautiful, move this right to the top of your list.
One thing about Lynn's stories is that she does damaged characters so well, and Jaye and Dixon both have their fair share of past horrors. There are so many layers to each character and the more they are peeled back, the more your heart breaks for each man. Jaye is 21 and was brutally ripped out of the normal life he was living. Since that time his instinct is to do what he needs to survive. Dixon, a 32 year old Alaska trooper would do anything to protect those he loves even at his own expense, and that has lead to some poor decisions. The relationship that develops is intense and tender and a bit kinky, and is nothing that either man has ever before had.
The writing and story flowed very well. There is a lot of darkness surrounding the men, and the backdrop of the Alaskan wilds just adds to it. The story does have some graphic scenes of violence so read any warnings before you jump in. If you love a hurt/comfort story of hard won love that is both harsh and beautiful, move this right to the top of your list.
January 12, 2015
★★★3.5 STARS★★★
December 16, 2014
4.5 star review by The Blogger Girls.
Have you ever been in a kind of reading funk where things just haven’t been hitting the right buttons in the right way? Then, you pick up a book that does, and it feels like a giant breath of fresh air? Well, this one did it for me. I absolutely love being pleasantly surprised like this and was doing the happy dance the entire time I read it.
Twenty-one year old sweet Jaye keeps getting bad breaks. During his two-year prison sentence, he basically became another inmate’s bitch in exchange for protection, which was basically the only relationship he knew. While most of their roughness/abuse was for show, it still happened nonetheless. Jaye has built up quite the façade with the tattoos and attitude.
Alaskan State Trooper, Dixon, 32, sees something in Jaye and wants to help him out. Their relationship is a tricky one, but they are drawn to each other as they become more involved. Jaye, used to the way things were in prison, uses his body to negotiate a contract with Dixon. Jaye will be Dixon’s kept boy/whore, in exchange for Dixon’s protection and care. There is so much more to Jaye than his body though, and Dixon sees all of that as their relationship/trust grows. They end up realizing they need each other way more than they first thought.
So, it would seem that Jaye is the one who needs saving here, but that ends up not totally being the case. There are two sides to this story, Jaye’s and his relationship/prison issues, and Dixon’s screwed up relationship with his ex, Marcus. They are somewhat similar in that both guys seem to experience some level of Stockholm Syndrome. Dixon’s issues are much deeper, in my opinion, as he not only deals with his abusive ex but the fact that he somewhat enjoys much of that abuse. He knows Marcus is bad and he has to get him out of his life, but that pull is still very strong, and we get to see that struggle play out quite a bit.
Back to Dixon and Jaye – Whewwwww, do they have some hot kinky scenes! The intensity of their relationship rivals that of the whole story. They have an extreme amount of chemistry, made all the more intense by their poor decisions and miscommunications. Jaye learns there is more to sex than just bending over and taking it, and the two explore quite a few avenues as they work things out, including some toy and role play.
This is one fabulous intense read from beginning almost to the end. There are some tender moments here and there, and while there were a lot of heavy issues going on, there were sweet and happy times as well. These guys each struggle with their own issues, but together, they help each other get past them. I don’t remember thinking the age gap was any big deal, as these guys just really seemed to be a good fit for different reasons.
As I said, it was an intense story, which results in a very fast read. The descriptions and dialog fit very well and gave a total sense of the desolate landscape and life in Alaska. I was a fan of Ms. Kelling before, but this has officially moved her to my auto-read list, and I’m eagerly looking forward to her next offering.
January 14, 2015
This was a dark,dark, dark book.I know Lynn Kelling writes about brutal stuff and i love angst but man...this was tough to read at times even for me.Maybe a bit too explicit (?). The characters were really messed up and we got to see different sides of them..Possessive, submissive, gentle and caring Dixon.Protective, scared, tough Jaye. Anyway, everything comes together beautifully eventually and the MC's connection and chemistry is off the charts.
What i really liked was the way the author gave voice to an abused victim's thoughts and feelings "I made him angry. I started it"
or "He felt smaller and smaller, weaker and weaker. The Glock in his holster meant nothing. The badge on his chest meant nothing."
What i would have liked to see is someone, at least one of them, seeking professional help.I mean, Jaye was hearing voices and having flashbacks and Dixon was clearly aware he was dealing with some issues.
And that asshole Marcus.I hated his guts.
Overall it was an amazing book and the author still remains one of my favourites :)
What i really liked was the way the author gave voice to an abused victim's thoughts and feelings "I made him angry. I started it"
or "He felt smaller and smaller, weaker and weaker. The Glock in his holster meant nothing. The badge on his chest meant nothing."
What i would have liked to see is someone, at least one of them, seeking professional help.I mean, Jaye was hearing voices and having flashbacks and Dixon was clearly aware he was dealing with some issues.
And that asshole Marcus.I hated his guts.
Overall it was an amazing book and the author still remains one of my favourites :)
January 26, 2015
DNF at 35%
I give up.
The writing didn’t work for me. And don’t get me started about the characters.
I’m supposed to believe the muscular trooper who was in an abusive relationship with his ex, didn’t break it off, but just walked away when the boyfriend was out of town, and now wants to dominate the ass of a formerly abused twink with mental problems?
And the twink, who went to jail at the age of 19, because he stabbed the person who kidnapped him from his home, stabbed him in the chest and was trying to rape him. Really??
Trooper Dixon was understanding about all the stuff that happened to Jaye at first, but then he says something like this to totally ruin it for me:
"I’m telling you now, sex has always been something that I take or is taken from me. That’s how I work. I like it rough and I like to switch. Fair warning. I want you to think about that.”
So what, Jaye is just supposed to get over his issues and take it??
Just…. No.
I give up.
The writing didn’t work for me. And don’t get me started about the characters.
I’m supposed to believe the muscular trooper who was in an abusive relationship with his ex, didn’t break it off, but just walked away when the boyfriend was out of town, and now wants to dominate the ass of a formerly abused twink with mental problems?
And the twink, who went to jail at the age of 19, because he stabbed the person who kidnapped him from his home, stabbed him in the chest and was trying to rape him. Really??
Trooper Dixon was understanding about all the stuff that happened to Jaye at first, but then he says something like this to totally ruin it for me:
"I’m telling you now, sex has always been something that I take or is taken from me. That’s how I work. I like it rough and I like to switch. Fair warning. I want you to think about that.”
So what, Jaye is just supposed to get over his issues and take it??
Just…. No.
December 18, 2014
It's not always that obvious, but with some books I just have this feeling that telling this particular story... about these particular characters meant a great deal to author. That there is something special involved.
I had that same feeling here- Kelling poured her very soul in this and delivered, in my opinion, her best work yet.
Possible triggers -
Ok.
Basic premise of this story is not terribly inventive for romance: Dixon who is a cop, falls for Jaye who just came out of prison.
Things I liked:
1)Well, Kelling and FFS imprint are known for delivering dark, unsettling reads. I don't mind dark and painful and I am an angstwhore, but I realized in past year or two, I do need one tiny speck of hope; something positive to hold on for me to enjoy it. This was one emotional, high-stakes love story that ended on positive note.
2)Setting
3)Dynamic between characters - This was my favorite thing. Dix is this big, strong cop with loving sister and stable job. He just left his ex boyfriend because he had enough of his behavior. Jaye on the other hand is only 21, he is slim and too pretty for his own good. He has several tattoos on his body, including a teardrop under his eye, a telltale sign of his criminal record. He endured hell in prison and he survived only by agreeing to be a property of another guy who in return provided him protection. Now, you would think that Jaye is the one who needs saving and Dix will be his hero....right?
It's definitely not that simple and everything needs a second, deeper look. Power was exchanged several times and given back again, which made this couple unpredictable and much interesting to read. This includes sex scenes as well- we have kink, but it's actually meaningful- it's not written for the sake of kink, but because it felt like the thing character needed. Sexual healing and all that jazz...
4)Jaye- Ok, both characters are great, but Jaye stole my heart here. This kid is only 21 and his sheer will to survive was one part admiration/one part terror to read. From the scene that got him to prison to the way he survived there we were constantly reminded just how focused he was on getting out of every shit that life throws at him alive. He is a total badass, but so damn vulnerable when it comes to small acts of kindness. You just want to take him and put him in some place and hiss at anyone who dares looking at him in bad way.
5)Depicting domestic violence- domestic violence is in people's mind so firmly attached to picture of husband beating his wife and her wearing glasses and lying about her bruises. In reality, this is an offense that's covering more than just marital relationship- it involves also partners who are living together or are in a romantic and/or sexual relationship- Unfortunately, this is a fact I find often, both in fiction and practice overlooked. I liked it was shown here in all its ugly glory covering everything from physical,sexual, economical abuse to the warped psychological state of mind victims often share regarding their abuser. Which ties to...
6) Both Jaye's and Dixon's issues didn't miraculously vanish at the end. It was pointed out they still have a lot to work on and that their demons are not gone..which is normal considering what they went through.
(Just a few) Things I didn't like:
1)at 75% story dragged a bit with some scenes, but also I think that repeating, rehashing same things over and over again slowed pace at certain places.
2) minor plot inconsistencies
All in all, really great read. :D
p.s. I saw author mentioning she signed for prequel story about Jaye. I am conflicted... I don't know if I can read this, my protective mode is already activated.
:thinks about Jaye's life before Alaska:
.
.
.
...I need a hug. :(
March 24, 2015
Liked it, a lot. I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort stories and this one was top notch. Both characters are damaged and are struggling with their past.
Jaye just came out of prison, and Dixon, on the surface an alpha male cop, just ended a relationship with an abusive lover. They both have to fight their inner demons... and the painful journey these guys take to true love isn’t an easy one.
Parts of the stories (especially the flashbacks) are angsty as hell. So if you want to push your boundaries... or if you love intense, hard and gritty stories this one might be the right book for you.
December 15, 2014
If Jaye Larson knows anything, it’s how to survive. No family to speak of and fresh out of a two year stint in prison, he’s had to learn the hard way. He’s learned how to barter his body for protection and safety. The allure of his sensual beauty, young and hot, has been useful to him all his short twenty-one years. Both in and out of prison.
It’s become the one thing that gets him off-- his appeal, the control he has over other men.
Dixon Rowe, cop and state trooper has demons of his own. And he, too, knows all about physical and mental abuse. He lives in his own prison. When he picks up Jaye for attempted robbery he’s immediately caught in the younger man’s web. All the secret, nasty kinks Dixon is addicted to coalesce in one man, one body. But, it’s that fierce survival instinct that he sees in Jaye that seals the deal. He can understand that.
Reading this had that squirmy/uncomfortable (and delicious) allure to it because of the dysfunction in both these men. Together, they are either the worse thing or the best thing that has happened to each other. It is not easy to read their nightmare-- it comes from extreme abuse, torture, rape, and for Jaye, neglect. The ‘voices’ each man hears, always dragging them back to the nightmares of their separate abuses, are always there. There as reminders. Once I started understanding where Jaye and Dixon come from, what makes them tick, I was pulled into wanting to see if they could be right for each other.
This is a gripping, engrossing read that really kicks into high gear as you move through it. And it checked quite a few of my DMC boxes. The kinky, obsessive sex is hot off the page incendiary. I think more so, because of all their issues. For Jaye and Dixon sex simply comes with a different currency. Not softness or friendship, but a powerful need for survival.
This author has a real touch for kinky power-play and getting into the dark side of sexual control and abuse. Be advised, though, that if sexual abuse, domestic abuse, rape and extreme violence are triggers, this will not be an easy read.
I did have some issues that didn’t stop me from loving this read, but I feel like I have to mention them. No real spoilers here, just ranting…
The story starts with Dixon capturing Jaye while he is attempting robbery (not a spoiler, it’s in the story blurb). Granted, Jaye is at the end of his rope, no money, starving… but, he’s a freaking ex-con, just out of prison. How stoopid do you have to be to commit ANOTHER crime when you’ve fresh out of the clink? I don’t care how hungry you are. The last place Jaye wants to be is back in prison so this opening act in the story never made complete sense to me.
And the editing… How can you make a great story super great? Good editing. If you put this much work into writing a story, find SOME WAY to get a good editor. I’m talking about a beta, probably… the repeated info, in general, and clumsy syntax, in patches, is what I’m talking about here. Broken record. End of edit rant.
Finally, I don’t like the cover. Yes, that looks like Dixon, yes, that looks like Jaye. But what is with that happy, sunny hug they’re in? This story warrants a better cover. Granted, I’m not a cover expert, but I’m thinking something more honest, a little truer to the story’s theme, here. For pity’s sake, the cover makes a huge difference. Remember when your moms said ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’? She was wrong Get a good cover. End of cover rant.
This story is too deliciously compelling and kinky and nasty to get bogged down with quibbles (now you know how easy I am). The decadent twisty dysfunction that drives Dixon and Jaye wins out here. Loved it. However, do mind the trigger warnings.
A copy of this book was provided by the publisher/author in exchange for an honest review.
March 29, 2017
Torn about rating
I did and didn't like this story. I've kind of learned what to expect from Lynn Kelling's stories. They're always pretty effed up. These are two psychologically and physically damaged characters. It seems hard to believe that Dixon saw his relationship with Marcus the way he did. That's the insidious nature of abuse, where the victims blame themselves for the acts perpetrated on them. Jaye is somewhat easier to understand, since he had no choices in what happened to him.
It was very hard to see how they could fall in love so fast. The reasons they got together were crass. Yet they were also exactly what they needed at the time. Dixon needed someone to protect enough, in order to overcome his fear of Marcus. Jaye needed to feel safe and cared for, but also someone to fight for besides himself.
I did like it overall, but it was very disturbing at times. The memories and flashbacks were difficult to read. I didn't get enough of the feeling that it was Alaska. There just wasn't quite enough there to create the atmosphere for me. I'll still keep reading the authors books. No matter how creepy or disturbing, they make me think and try to find the meaning and message.
I did and didn't like this story. I've kind of learned what to expect from Lynn Kelling's stories. They're always pretty effed up. These are two psychologically and physically damaged characters. It seems hard to believe that Dixon saw his relationship with Marcus the way he did. That's the insidious nature of abuse, where the victims blame themselves for the acts perpetrated on them. Jaye is somewhat easier to understand, since he had no choices in what happened to him.
It was very hard to see how they could fall in love so fast. The reasons they got together were crass. Yet they were also exactly what they needed at the time. Dixon needed someone to protect enough, in order to overcome his fear of Marcus. Jaye needed to feel safe and cared for, but also someone to fight for besides himself.
I did like it overall, but it was very disturbing at times. The memories and flashbacks were difficult to read. I didn't get enough of the feeling that it was Alaska. There just wasn't quite enough there to create the atmosphere for me. I'll still keep reading the authors books. No matter how creepy or disturbing, they make me think and try to find the meaning and message.
March 22, 2015
Hurt, hurt, and more hurt. If anyone knows how to write about a tortured soul, a person so hurt in life that you feel it through the whole book, it's Lynn Kelling.
I really like this book because it made me feel. The power exchanges between the two MC's was vital and necessary... even when it felt a little wrong. It's dark and sad, but when it becomes more than that? It's beautiful. This is such a touching story of two men, hurt by different people, in wholly different situations, coming together to heal each other with trust, understanding and love.
I really like this book because it made me feel. The power exchanges between the two MC's was vital and necessary... even when it felt a little wrong. It's dark and sad, but when it becomes more than that? It's beautiful. This is such a touching story of two men, hurt by different people, in wholly different situations, coming together to heal each other with trust, understanding and love.
October 10, 2016
I kept coming back to it for more. More! More!
That should tell you something. :)
That should tell you something. :)
December 16, 2014
REVIEWED FOR PRISM BOOK ALLIANCE
For Alaskan State Trooper Dixon Rowe his whole life changed when he was called to a robbery at a local store. The fact that there was a robbery at all was unusual but when Dixon sets his eyes on Jaye Larson his life will never be the same again. Jaye was stealing food so he wouldn’t starve, he really is at an all time low, but instead of Dixon arresting the young man he purchases the stolen groceries for him and takes him home.
Jaye’s life, like the area in Alaska he has chosen to live in, is desolate. He has recently come out of prison and is living without any amenities in a cabin in freezing temperatures and with no food. Getting a job is proving to be virtually impossible. The only staples in his life are his nightmares and they are vicious, persistent and very real.
Dixon Rowe is a decade older than Jaye and from the outside he looks to have his life sorted. The stark truth is he is as much of a mess as Jaye and is living with his own nightmares. One of his nightmares is due back in town sooner rather than later and goes by the name of Marcus. Dixon may seem like he has everything under control but nothing could be further from the truth and if he digs in and tries to take that control it may just cost him his life.
These two broken men coming together is like waiting for a car crash to happen but somewhere along the way the lines get blurred between their strengths and weaknesses. Jaye runs the gamut of emotions from brash and licentious to naive and weepy. He has been through so much, seen so much and had so much inflicted on him that most 21 year olds would be rocking in a dark corner. This gives you a clue to his inner strength and it is that strength that comes to the forefront when Dixon needs his help, gone is the clueless young man who saw the trooper as a bit of extra protection and the odd free meal, in his place is someone calm and calculating who is out to protect what he wants.
There is extreme violence that is graphic and frightening. Everything these two men have been through Lynn puts on the page for you to feel and experience. She balances this out by giving you their quiet moments, the times when they are gentle and learning about it each other. The role play is both kinky and frightening but it seems to play an important part in their relationship and instead of being destructive it is needed for them to move on.
To tell you this story in a review would do it a disservice. It is too big and too powerful to mash it down to a few paragraphs. This is old Lynn Kelling with a hit of something very new, something that will make you cry at the helplessness of the situation but will buoy you up with a contrasting love story that is so very hard to obtain.
For Alaskan State Trooper Dixon Rowe his whole life changed when he was called to a robbery at a local store. The fact that there was a robbery at all was unusual but when Dixon sets his eyes on Jaye Larson his life will never be the same again. Jaye was stealing food so he wouldn’t starve, he really is at an all time low, but instead of Dixon arresting the young man he purchases the stolen groceries for him and takes him home.
Jaye’s life, like the area in Alaska he has chosen to live in, is desolate. He has recently come out of prison and is living without any amenities in a cabin in freezing temperatures and with no food. Getting a job is proving to be virtually impossible. The only staples in his life are his nightmares and they are vicious, persistent and very real.
Dixon Rowe is a decade older than Jaye and from the outside he looks to have his life sorted. The stark truth is he is as much of a mess as Jaye and is living with his own nightmares. One of his nightmares is due back in town sooner rather than later and goes by the name of Marcus. Dixon may seem like he has everything under control but nothing could be further from the truth and if he digs in and tries to take that control it may just cost him his life.
These two broken men coming together is like waiting for a car crash to happen but somewhere along the way the lines get blurred between their strengths and weaknesses. Jaye runs the gamut of emotions from brash and licentious to naive and weepy. He has been through so much, seen so much and had so much inflicted on him that most 21 year olds would be rocking in a dark corner. This gives you a clue to his inner strength and it is that strength that comes to the forefront when Dixon needs his help, gone is the clueless young man who saw the trooper as a bit of extra protection and the odd free meal, in his place is someone calm and calculating who is out to protect what he wants.
There is extreme violence that is graphic and frightening. Everything these two men have been through Lynn puts on the page for you to feel and experience. She balances this out by giving you their quiet moments, the times when they are gentle and learning about it each other. The role play is both kinky and frightening but it seems to play an important part in their relationship and instead of being destructive it is needed for them to move on.
To tell you this story in a review would do it a disservice. It is too big and too powerful to mash it down to a few paragraphs. This is old Lynn Kelling with a hit of something very new, something that will make you cry at the helplessness of the situation but will buoy you up with a contrasting love story that is so very hard to obtain.
January 30, 2015
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.75 stars
Holy. Hell. This book is a torrent of emotion and drama. Goodness. Dixon and Jaye are put through the ringer in this story. It’s dark and gritty and ugly. There are parts—I’m not gonna lie—where I cringed. And it takes a lot to make me cringe. But I kept coming back for more because I just had to know. That’s what this book is. It’s crack. Frustrating, emotional, holy-mother-of-god crack.
I’m not even sure where to start, so I’ll go with the first thing that comes to mind. Dixon and Jaye. These guys are not what they appear in the beginning. From outward appearances Dixon’s the stronger of the two—state trooper, alpha male, big brother. And he is all of those things, but he has this vulnerability that his ex exploits that brings him to his knees and it kills me. I’m telling you. I had to blink at the complete one-eighty, but the psyche—the complete mindfuck this guy was playing with him—was spot on in the way this author wrote it. I worried at first about inconsistency, but no… it’s perfect. It’s trauma and domestic abuse at its core. It’s battered spouse syndrome to a T. But in the end, Dixon finds his strength though Jaye. It’s quite beautiful, really. And Jaye… well, Jaye is obviously the physically weaker of the two, but he’s a mental powerhouse. He’s sharp and conniving and crafty. Not to say his ways are always legal, but he gets the job done. His heart is strong and very much in the right place. God, Jaye is amazing. He’s stronger than he thinks, and turns out to be more alpha than he’s portrayed in the beginning. I love his need to protect what is his and his absolute love for Dixon, even before he realizes he loves him.
Read Crissy’s review in its entirety here.
4.75 stars
Holy. Hell. This book is a torrent of emotion and drama. Goodness. Dixon and Jaye are put through the ringer in this story. It’s dark and gritty and ugly. There are parts—I’m not gonna lie—where I cringed. And it takes a lot to make me cringe. But I kept coming back for more because I just had to know. That’s what this book is. It’s crack. Frustrating, emotional, holy-mother-of-god crack.
I’m not even sure where to start, so I’ll go with the first thing that comes to mind. Dixon and Jaye. These guys are not what they appear in the beginning. From outward appearances Dixon’s the stronger of the two—state trooper, alpha male, big brother. And he is all of those things, but he has this vulnerability that his ex exploits that brings him to his knees and it kills me. I’m telling you. I had to blink at the complete one-eighty, but the psyche—the complete mindfuck this guy was playing with him—was spot on in the way this author wrote it. I worried at first about inconsistency, but no… it’s perfect. It’s trauma and domestic abuse at its core. It’s battered spouse syndrome to a T. But in the end, Dixon finds his strength though Jaye. It’s quite beautiful, really. And Jaye… well, Jaye is obviously the physically weaker of the two, but he’s a mental powerhouse. He’s sharp and conniving and crafty. Not to say his ways are always legal, but he gets the job done. His heart is strong and very much in the right place. God, Jaye is amazing. He’s stronger than he thinks, and turns out to be more alpha than he’s portrayed in the beginning. I love his need to protect what is his and his absolute love for Dixon, even before he realizes he loves him.
Read Crissy’s review in its entirety here.
July 24, 2016
This was an incredibly intense reading experience for me. This book contained much darker subject matter than I typically seek out. I don't like things that upset me and books are no exception. However, if enduring the emotional turmoil evoked by a book's content is rewarded with a meaningful cathartic release at the end, then that book is a gift. This was such a book.
The author pulls no punches in her explicit depictions of the past horrors that were inflicted upon Dixon and Jaye. Mercifully, the author also provided no more details than necessary, effectively communicating the stark terror of a situation without resorting to gratuitous violence.
The book would have been too harrowing for me had the author been unable to strike an effective balance between the dark and the light. This theme is deftly nuanced through revealing the MC's inner conflicts as they struggle to come to terms with the morally ambiguous actions of their pasts as well as the issue of deservability when contemplating a better future. Throughout the book, Dixon and Jaye managed to draw from reserves of strength, hope and love that served to cement their bond and ensure their survival.
I highly recommend this book. However, this book is not for the faint of heart. The explicit sex and violence is overshadowed only by the author's expert handling of such sensitive subject matter, a talent that empowers her to deliver what every reader ultimately craves: a great story.
The author pulls no punches in her explicit depictions of the past horrors that were inflicted upon Dixon and Jaye. Mercifully, the author also provided no more details than necessary, effectively communicating the stark terror of a situation without resorting to gratuitous violence.
The book would have been too harrowing for me had the author been unable to strike an effective balance between the dark and the light. This theme is deftly nuanced through revealing the MC's inner conflicts as they struggle to come to terms with the morally ambiguous actions of their pasts as well as the issue of deservability when contemplating a better future. Throughout the book, Dixon and Jaye managed to draw from reserves of strength, hope and love that served to cement their bond and ensure their survival.
I highly recommend this book. However, this book is not for the faint of heart. The explicit sex and violence is overshadowed only by the author's expert handling of such sensitive subject matter, a talent that empowers her to deliver what every reader ultimately craves: a great story.
January 7, 2017
DNF. Didn't care to keep reading. At first look, Jaye appeared to be the MC that was the most messed up. But Dixon was a bully-victim and I didn't like him. Yes, he had a soft heart and helped others. Yes, he allowed himself to be bullied by Marcus. He stayed with him too long, got worn down and didn't have the strength to break up with him. But conversely, Dixon turned around and bullied Jaye. He even bullied his fuck buddy Sacha. Jaye with all of his mental issues, was actually the stronger of the two. I may pick this book back up and finish it later.
The sex was hot and the Alaskan backdrop was way too cool. Free 2016 Xmas present from publisher.
The sex was hot and the Alaskan backdrop was way too cool. Free 2016 Xmas present from publisher.
January 27, 2015
This was good. I really shouldn't add gifs, but I kept picturing Jake Bass.
It should have warnings about rape triggers. It wouldn't have slowed me down, but it if you have issue with that, this might not be the book for you. I enjoyed the story.
It should have warnings about rape triggers. It wouldn't have slowed me down, but it if you have issue with that, this might not be the book for you. I enjoyed the story.
December 30, 2016
This was my first Lynn Kelling book, but it certainly won't be my last! Just effin' awesome! Loved it and couldn't recommend it more highly.
JLT =)
JLT =)
March 8, 2017
I don't quite know what to say about this yet. It was a great read though
February 7, 2015
My Review:
If you've never read Lynn Kelling before, then you need a little warning. Her writing is not for the faint of heart. It's gritty and erotic and definitely pushes the envelope. There are always moments when I'm reading her books where I'm just not quite comfortable with what I'm reading, but I can't look away. This book definitely had a few of those moments with these two very wounded men.
Jaye has a tragic, horrible story. When he was 19, he was attacked, tortured, and raped by two men. He managed to kill one and chased and wounded the other, even though they had been in the process of disemboweling him (yeah, see...there's that difficult line). Because he chased the other man, he got 2 years in prison for manslaughter. Wrong doesn't even begin to cover what was done to him by the justice system...and that was before he was wrongly imprisoned...at age 19. The situation for this character tore my heart in two. He is so mentally injured when the story begins...nightmares and PTSD are just the start of his issues.
On the other side is Dixon...a cop in this town who has to arrest Jaye for stealing. But Jaye is simply starving to death and Dixon sees that and steps in to help. On the surface, Dixon is a take-charge, in control alpha type. But he has his own secrets. He's been abused for years by his ex-lover. Yeah, he's a pretty messed up guy too.
This is not an easy story. There are flashbacks to both man's abuse and the abuse isn't all in past tense. But there is hope in this book too...because they find refuge and healing in one another. Their relationship is interesting in that really Jaye is the strong one...although he's so much younger and has been abused so much more. But that's provided a core of strength that he uses to help shore up Dixon too.
If you like your m/m fiction gritty, harsh, and stories that skirt the edge of acceptable, then you probably will like this one and Lynn Kelling's other work also. I cannot stress enough that this book isn't for the light reader. But I enjoyed it overall. Lynn Kelling's stories always do an amazing job of looking deep into the psyche of her characters and this one is a prime example of that.
If you've never read Lynn Kelling before, then you need a little warning. Her writing is not for the faint of heart. It's gritty and erotic and definitely pushes the envelope. There are always moments when I'm reading her books where I'm just not quite comfortable with what I'm reading, but I can't look away. This book definitely had a few of those moments with these two very wounded men.
Jaye has a tragic, horrible story. When he was 19, he was attacked, tortured, and raped by two men. He managed to kill one and chased and wounded the other, even though they had been in the process of disemboweling him (yeah, see...there's that difficult line). Because he chased the other man, he got 2 years in prison for manslaughter. Wrong doesn't even begin to cover what was done to him by the justice system...and that was before he was wrongly imprisoned...at age 19. The situation for this character tore my heart in two. He is so mentally injured when the story begins...nightmares and PTSD are just the start of his issues.
On the other side is Dixon...a cop in this town who has to arrest Jaye for stealing. But Jaye is simply starving to death and Dixon sees that and steps in to help. On the surface, Dixon is a take-charge, in control alpha type. But he has his own secrets. He's been abused for years by his ex-lover. Yeah, he's a pretty messed up guy too.
This is not an easy story. There are flashbacks to both man's abuse and the abuse isn't all in past tense. But there is hope in this book too...because they find refuge and healing in one another. Their relationship is interesting in that really Jaye is the strong one...although he's so much younger and has been abused so much more. But that's provided a core of strength that he uses to help shore up Dixon too.
If you like your m/m fiction gritty, harsh, and stories that skirt the edge of acceptable, then you probably will like this one and Lynn Kelling's other work also. I cannot stress enough that this book isn't for the light reader. But I enjoyed it overall. Lynn Kelling's stories always do an amazing job of looking deep into the psyche of her characters and this one is a prime example of that.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 125 reviews