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Actually, Nevermind: Essays
Actually, Nevermind is a collection of sharply funny, deeply honest essays from comedian Taylor Tomlinson, on the art of changing your mind. From once holding black-and-white beliefs shaped by a strict religious upbringing and early grief, to now embracing the glorious mess of nuance, Taylor charts her evolving worldview - both the profound and the ridiculous. With self-deprecating humour and flashes of wisdom, she reflects on everything she used to be certain of (and now isn't), offering a candid take on growing up, staying flexible, and giving yourself permission to rethink everything. In a world full of noise, this book is a warm, witty balm for anyone trying to figure it out... again.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published September 22, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
September 17, 2026
4.5 rounded up
Thank you to Simon & Schuster Audio and Libro Fm for the complementary advanced listener copy. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
I love Taylor's comedic work, and have followed her for yeaaaaaars. She's funny, dry, and had a quick wit that kept me coming back for more. Seeing her grow from a woman whose religious upbringing held her in a cage, to an out and proud queer woman had me SO excited to pick this one up and learn more about her. I went in fully blind, not really knowing what to expect from this and was pleasantly surprised.
This wasn't just comedy (although there were some hot takes with absolute banger quotes that had me laughing, emotional or feeling inspired by her candor), but it was also her life story, trauma, familial closeness, eldest daughter musings, self discovery, mental health care advocation, advice about how to be a comedian - all of it. She expertly balances between telling her own point of view, dry quips about her struggles with mental health and balancing relationships, while also doling out how to help others avoid her mistakes and accept themselves for their missteps. It's self-reflection and support all wrapped up in one.
She addresses sexism, toxic behaviour (her own included), queer identity, familial trauma, anxiety, depression, societal misogyny and yet still wraps it up in a way that feels light, while also poignant. She's self aware to the point of being too hard on herself, and yet there's awareness and humble openness that makes this feel like a conversation with a friend who wants the best for you. It's genuinely beautiful, and covers so many topics in such a short timespan, yet flows effortlessly.
I also love that Taylor narrates her own audiobook. I loved hearing her candor and delivering her own lines, life stories, and love for those around her in her own authentic voice. It made a huge impact, and I genuinely hope as she grows and changes more in her life, that she chooses to write and narrate more books about her self discovery.
All in all, this was a fantastic read, and fans of hers will absolutely love it!
Thank you to Simon & Schuster Audio and Libro Fm for the complementary advanced listener copy. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
I love Taylor's comedic work, and have followed her for yeaaaaaars. She's funny, dry, and had a quick wit that kept me coming back for more. Seeing her grow from a woman whose religious upbringing held her in a cage, to an out and proud queer woman had me SO excited to pick this one up and learn more about her. I went in fully blind, not really knowing what to expect from this and was pleasantly surprised.
This wasn't just comedy (although there were some hot takes with absolute banger quotes that had me laughing, emotional or feeling inspired by her candor), but it was also her life story, trauma, familial closeness, eldest daughter musings, self discovery, mental health care advocation, advice about how to be a comedian - all of it. She expertly balances between telling her own point of view, dry quips about her struggles with mental health and balancing relationships, while also doling out how to help others avoid her mistakes and accept themselves for their missteps. It's self-reflection and support all wrapped up in one.
She addresses sexism, toxic behaviour (her own included), queer identity, familial trauma, anxiety, depression, societal misogyny and yet still wraps it up in a way that feels light, while also poignant. She's self aware to the point of being too hard on herself, and yet there's awareness and humble openness that makes this feel like a conversation with a friend who wants the best for you. It's genuinely beautiful, and covers so many topics in such a short timespan, yet flows effortlessly.
I also love that Taylor narrates her own audiobook. I loved hearing her candor and delivering her own lines, life stories, and love for those around her in her own authentic voice. It made a huge impact, and I genuinely hope as she grows and changes more in her life, that she chooses to write and narrate more books about her self discovery.
All in all, this was a fantastic read, and fans of hers will absolutely love it!
September 22, 2026
Love this one so much!
I really enjoy Taylor’s humour and her way of expressing herself. She really knows how to tell stories and make them palatable even if they’re heavy at times.
So grateful she shared so many personal stories and her learnings with us 💛
I really enjoy Taylor’s humour and her way of expressing herself. She really knows how to tell stories and make them palatable even if they’re heavy at times.
So grateful she shared so many personal stories and her learnings with us 💛
September 23, 2026
You are beautiful Taylor.
July 18, 2026
I’ve been a fan of Taylor for years, and I’m so thrilled to have gotten to read this review copy. I kind of want to listen to the audiobook, but I could practically hear her in my head!! She reflects on her dead mother (I had feelings for a lot of reasons, but my dead friend’s baby turns a year old tomorrow and will grow up without her mother and !!!!!) and her religious background and mental wellbeing and friendships and finding your people and being happy and confident (advice section at the end!). The book was kind of a blur but in a great way, and I really enjoyed it.
Quotes that stood out to me:
✨ (Dedication!!!)✨
I'm not a bit changed—not really. I'm only just pruned down and branched out. The real me—back here—is just the same.—Anne Shirley, from Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
When we mourn our losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. As we were. As we are no longer. As we will one day not be at all.—Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking
Hey, I thought you'd gotten over that. It's been, what? Two months?—Lilly Moscovitz on the death of Mia Thermopolis’s dad in The Princess Diaries.
✨ What Will Never Change✨
“Your favorite movie is never set in stone, you can never be totally sure what your favorite color is, but this one gruesome fact about you is so important, so permanent-it's almost comforting. You are motherless. This, at least, will never change.”
Swap it out for BROTHER and goddamn @ this gut punch.
✨Obsessive-compulsive Christianity✨
“Not everyone will meet your agnosticism with condescension and dismissal. My deeply religious friends don't demonize my sexual preferences and, in turn, I try not to say "goddamn" around them, out of respect. (Imagine if every time someone stubbed their toe they shouted, "Fuck your dad!")”
I CACKLED (she’s right though, I do the same around people that I know are more religious/practicing than I am! Also I can practically HEAR her in my head!!!!)
✨ Sister Sitter Parent Problem✨
“When it does, it's as if three butterflies have landed on my arm. I go very still and try not to startle them. Stay, I think desperately. Stay stay stay. Don't you see? This is a memory.”
Something about THIS just hit me right in my heart. I wish I could have had this thought right before my brother died, that this was the last time my siblings and I would all be together. I love this (and hate it).
✨ Interesting Brain Syndrome✨
“Your sadness is trying to set a long meeting with you, and the only thing you can do is keep putting it off. Send your secretary to tell her your calendar is full. I'm so sorry, I can't sink into despondency today, I'm afraid I have a lunch. Eventually, though, she will corner you in the parking lot.”
WOOF ain’t that the truth!!!!
“I complained about being in my twenties every second I spent in them. Now it feels like a dream I had, a life that happened to someone entirely different. Younger me is scared of my present-day loneliness, but in awe of my stability. I am jealous of her wild moods, but terrified for her soul. I want to go back and help her. Sometimes I just want to go back.”
RETWEET!!!!!!! The me in my 20s feels like a different person, a different life, living it up in NYC, and now I’m like…..I leave the house once a week for groceries sometimes 🤠🤪😇
✨ Not a Model✨
“The craziest thing about aging as a woman is you actually like yourself more. You feel more confident, more self-assured, more comfortable in your own skin, while the world looks at you as though your value has gone down. It's a strange sort of dysmorphia. You start looking at photos of younger you like, Oh my god, I was so cute! What the fuck was my problem? I wasted so much time! The thought of hating your body for another ten years just to have this realization again at forty or fifty or sixty makes you sick to your stomach.”
✨ I’m Gay Now✨
“Eventually, I realized the doubting voice existed only in my head. Nobody was judging me. Nobody was telling me my feelings weren't real. It was all me, anticipating the worst and arguing with people who weren't there, I was playing racquetball with my insecurities.”
✨ I Am Here to Make Friends
“As everyone became less available, I realized I needed a longer list of people to call-more friends with less to give. For the most part, I'm okay with this. But I'd be lying if I said it doesn't sting sometimes. I plan girls' trips because I'll always come second to everyone's husband, and if the apocalypse does hit, I'd love it if we were together.”
✨ Can I Give You Some Advice?✨
“How can I be more confident? As a deeply insecure person, the only thing that really helps me snap out of it is boredom. I simply get tired of my own bullshit. Whenever I have an intrusive, negative thought about myself I just think, This is so boring. You feel weird about your body? That's so boring. You think you're ugly? Who cares. You're afraid you're not talented? Fucking yawn. Hating yourself is unoriginal. I'd rather be ugly and interesting.Look at yourself with curiosity instead of judgment. I need larger pants. Interesting. I got dumped. Tell me more. I overslept. Huh, weird. I'm burnt out. Okay, let's chill for a minute. No big deal. You're not a robot, you're a human being, a flesh-and-blood character running around this world without a map. You are allowed to ebb and flow. You are allowed to become different versions of yourself, to experience different seasons. Instead of asking, "Why aren't I better?," say, "I cannot wait to see what happens next." There are no disappointments, only plot twists. Stop focusing so much on self-improvement. You are a person, not a recipe that needs perfecting.“
✨Dying Alone✨
“Historically, when I've said I "don't want to die alone," what I meant was what most people mean when they parrot this phrase: I want to find love and I'm afraid I never will. What they're really saying is "I don't want to die single." But in recent years, I have come to the conclusion that I would, in fact, be okay perishing without a partner. When I say I am afraid to die alone, I mean it literally. I just don't want to die by myself.”
Quotes that stood out to me:
✨ (Dedication!!!)✨
I'm not a bit changed—not really. I'm only just pruned down and branched out. The real me—back here—is just the same.—Anne Shirley, from Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
When we mourn our losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. As we were. As we are no longer. As we will one day not be at all.—Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking
Hey, I thought you'd gotten over that. It's been, what? Two months?—Lilly Moscovitz on the death of Mia Thermopolis’s dad in The Princess Diaries.
✨ What Will Never Change✨
“Your favorite movie is never set in stone, you can never be totally sure what your favorite color is, but this one gruesome fact about you is so important, so permanent-it's almost comforting. You are motherless. This, at least, will never change.”
Swap it out for BROTHER and goddamn @ this gut punch.
✨Obsessive-compulsive Christianity✨
“Not everyone will meet your agnosticism with condescension and dismissal. My deeply religious friends don't demonize my sexual preferences and, in turn, I try not to say "goddamn" around them, out of respect. (Imagine if every time someone stubbed their toe they shouted, "Fuck your dad!")”
I CACKLED (she’s right though, I do the same around people that I know are more religious/practicing than I am! Also I can practically HEAR her in my head!!!!)
✨ Sister Sitter Parent Problem✨
“When it does, it's as if three butterflies have landed on my arm. I go very still and try not to startle them. Stay, I think desperately. Stay stay stay. Don't you see? This is a memory.”
Something about THIS just hit me right in my heart. I wish I could have had this thought right before my brother died, that this was the last time my siblings and I would all be together. I love this (and hate it).
✨ Interesting Brain Syndrome✨
“Your sadness is trying to set a long meeting with you, and the only thing you can do is keep putting it off. Send your secretary to tell her your calendar is full. I'm so sorry, I can't sink into despondency today, I'm afraid I have a lunch. Eventually, though, she will corner you in the parking lot.”
WOOF ain’t that the truth!!!!
“I complained about being in my twenties every second I spent in them. Now it feels like a dream I had, a life that happened to someone entirely different. Younger me is scared of my present-day loneliness, but in awe of my stability. I am jealous of her wild moods, but terrified for her soul. I want to go back and help her. Sometimes I just want to go back.”
RETWEET!!!!!!! The me in my 20s feels like a different person, a different life, living it up in NYC, and now I’m like…..I leave the house once a week for groceries sometimes 🤠🤪😇
✨ Not a Model✨
“The craziest thing about aging as a woman is you actually like yourself more. You feel more confident, more self-assured, more comfortable in your own skin, while the world looks at you as though your value has gone down. It's a strange sort of dysmorphia. You start looking at photos of younger you like, Oh my god, I was so cute! What the fuck was my problem? I wasted so much time! The thought of hating your body for another ten years just to have this realization again at forty or fifty or sixty makes you sick to your stomach.”
✨ I’m Gay Now✨
“Eventually, I realized the doubting voice existed only in my head. Nobody was judging me. Nobody was telling me my feelings weren't real. It was all me, anticipating the worst and arguing with people who weren't there, I was playing racquetball with my insecurities.”
✨ I Am Here to Make Friends
“As everyone became less available, I realized I needed a longer list of people to call-more friends with less to give. For the most part, I'm okay with this. But I'd be lying if I said it doesn't sting sometimes. I plan girls' trips because I'll always come second to everyone's husband, and if the apocalypse does hit, I'd love it if we were together.”
✨ Can I Give You Some Advice?✨
“How can I be more confident? As a deeply insecure person, the only thing that really helps me snap out of it is boredom. I simply get tired of my own bullshit. Whenever I have an intrusive, negative thought about myself I just think, This is so boring. You feel weird about your body? That's so boring. You think you're ugly? Who cares. You're afraid you're not talented? Fucking yawn. Hating yourself is unoriginal. I'd rather be ugly and interesting.Look at yourself with curiosity instead of judgment. I need larger pants. Interesting. I got dumped. Tell me more. I overslept. Huh, weird. I'm burnt out. Okay, let's chill for a minute. No big deal. You're not a robot, you're a human being, a flesh-and-blood character running around this world without a map. You are allowed to ebb and flow. You are allowed to become different versions of yourself, to experience different seasons. Instead of asking, "Why aren't I better?," say, "I cannot wait to see what happens next." There are no disappointments, only plot twists. Stop focusing so much on self-improvement. You are a person, not a recipe that needs perfecting.“
✨Dying Alone✨
“Historically, when I've said I "don't want to die alone," what I meant was what most people mean when they parrot this phrase: I want to find love and I'm afraid I never will. What they're really saying is "I don't want to die single." But in recent years, I have come to the conclusion that I would, in fact, be okay perishing without a partner. When I say I am afraid to die alone, I mean it literally. I just don't want to die by myself.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 11, 2026
Actually, Nevermind by Taylor Tomlinson
Release Date: 9/22/26
Format: audio (thank you Libro.fm!)
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“This book is not about my mother, but she is the most important character because I can’t write about myself without writing about her. Who she was, who she might have been, and the stinging lack of her that I have lived with for the last 24 years. My entire life has been a reaction to her death. Every opinion I have, every decision I have made, and every version of myself that I have been can be traced back to this one gargantuan loss. It rocked me.”
I don’t usually start a review with such a long quote, but I listened back to the end of this section of Actually, Nevermind three times when I was reading. The grief of losing a mom is both chronic and acute and I felt this message in my bones.
Tomlinson’s writing in this book is so thoughtful and concise, and dripping with her trademark sense of humor. I’m not surprised since I’ve been a fan for a while and her stand up specials showcase how talented her writing is. However, it felt like such a treat to get this much content all at once!
Tomlinson touches on so many relatable topics in this collection of essays…being freakishly close with your siblings, losing your mom too young, being raised in a toxically religious household, being queer, mental health issues….all of the things. I laughed, cried, and personally felt so seen and validated reading this book.
Even if you don’t relate with this laundry list of trauma that Taylor and I apparently share, this book is still a must read. It was so fucking good and hilarious and genuine.
Huge thank you to Libro.fm for the advanced audiobook in exchange for my honest thoughts!! Will definitely be in my top releases of 2026!
Release Date: 9/22/26
Format: audio (thank you Libro.fm!)
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“This book is not about my mother, but she is the most important character because I can’t write about myself without writing about her. Who she was, who she might have been, and the stinging lack of her that I have lived with for the last 24 years. My entire life has been a reaction to her death. Every opinion I have, every decision I have made, and every version of myself that I have been can be traced back to this one gargantuan loss. It rocked me.”
I don’t usually start a review with such a long quote, but I listened back to the end of this section of Actually, Nevermind three times when I was reading. The grief of losing a mom is both chronic and acute and I felt this message in my bones.
Tomlinson’s writing in this book is so thoughtful and concise, and dripping with her trademark sense of humor. I’m not surprised since I’ve been a fan for a while and her stand up specials showcase how talented her writing is. However, it felt like such a treat to get this much content all at once!
Tomlinson touches on so many relatable topics in this collection of essays…being freakishly close with your siblings, losing your mom too young, being raised in a toxically religious household, being queer, mental health issues….all of the things. I laughed, cried, and personally felt so seen and validated reading this book.
Even if you don’t relate with this laundry list of trauma that Taylor and I apparently share, this book is still a must read. It was so fucking good and hilarious and genuine.
Huge thank you to Libro.fm for the advanced audiobook in exchange for my honest thoughts!! Will definitely be in my top releases of 2026!
Review of advance copy
Liked it!
The level of details in the stories, relatability of feelings, occasional humor, but mostly honest & raw POV as a woman, daughter, elder sister, friend, single person, ex, formerly religious, foodie, person with an interesting brain syndrome (mental illness), one learning to get more casual rest, and, finally, comedian.
Also, def listen to the audiobook version, Taylor's timing and storytelling makes these so much more personal.
let me leave this here:
"The craziest thing about aging as a woman is you actually like yourself more. You feel more confident, more self-assured, more comfortable in your own skin, while the world looks at you as though your value has gone down. It's a strange sort of dysmorphia. You start looking at photos of younger you like, Oh my god, I was so cute! What the fuck was my problem? I wasted so much time! The thought of hating your body for another ten years just to have this realization again at forty or fifty or sixty makes you sick to your stomach.”
The level of details in the stories, relatability of feelings, occasional humor, but mostly honest & raw POV as a woman, daughter, elder sister, friend, single person, ex, formerly religious, foodie, person with an interesting brain syndrome (mental illness), one learning to get more casual rest, and, finally, comedian.
Also, def listen to the audiobook version, Taylor's timing and storytelling makes these so much more personal.
let me leave this here:
"The craziest thing about aging as a woman is you actually like yourself more. You feel more confident, more self-assured, more comfortable in your own skin, while the world looks at you as though your value has gone down. It's a strange sort of dysmorphia. You start looking at photos of younger you like, Oh my god, I was so cute! What the fuck was my problem? I wasted so much time! The thought of hating your body for another ten years just to have this realization again at forty or fifty or sixty makes you sick to your stomach.”
September 24, 2026
Love you TT ♡
Although unexpected, it was nice getting to know the author in a more serious sense, as an all-encompassing human in contrast to the comedian we see on stage.
Fave quotes:
“I was trying to become not who I was, but who I was supposed to be. Someone wise and mature. Fully fledged and finally worthy. But true wisdom is accepting how little you know.”
“Men are like guns. It’s scary having one in the house, but it’s good to know how to use one, in case you’re ever in a bind.”
“I do have some deal breakers that have stayed fairly consistent. Anyone who expects you to plan something elaborate to celebrate their birthday, it’s a pass for me. Thinking your birthday is a big deal is insane. Birthdays are for drunks and children. When somebody asks, ‘What do you wanna do for your birthday?’ I’m always like, ‘I don’t know, work? And if I can’t work, just like disappear I guess? Sit in a dark room with existential dread and wait for it to be over?’ Birthdays are like sex. It’s never as good as you want it to be, and entitled white women think it should always be special.”
“Liars are written off immediately. The second I catch you lying about small inconsequential things, I’m out. ‘It was just a little white lie! I would never lie about anything important!’ BULL. SHIT. Good liars lie about little things to stay sharp. Little white lies are like dumbbells for them. They’re building muscle so they can lift the big betrayal later.”
“I learned to chase friendship, instead of just waiting for it to fall into my lap. Meeting people you click with does not happen every day. We complain about dating like deep connection should come more easily, but we only make a new long-term friend once every.. three years at best? I do not have real chemistry with many people. Not because I’m a misanthrope or anything, I just don’t know how to fake it. I can’t force it. I’m lucky if I can find it. And if I do, I’m intense about it.“
"How can I be more confident? As a deeply insecure person, the only thing that really helps me snap out of it is boredom. I simply get tired of my own bullshit. Whenever I have an intrusive, negative thought about myself I just think, This is so boring. You feel weird about your body? That's so boring. You think you're ugly? Who cares. You're afraid you're not talented? Fucking yawn. Hating yourself is unoriginal. I'd rather be ugly and interesting. Look at yourself with curiosity instead of judgment. I need larger pants. Interesting. I got dumped. Tell me more. I overslept. Huh, weird. I'm burnt out. Okay, let's chill for a minute. No big deal. You're not a robot, you're a human being, a flesh-and-blood character running around this world without a map. You are allowed to ebb and flow. You are allowed to become different versions of yourself, to experience different seasons. Instead of asking, ‘Why aren't I better?’, say, ‘I cannot wait to see what happens next!’ There are no disappointments, only plot twists. Stop focusing so much on self-improvement. You are a person, not a recipe that needs perfecting."
“I do think it’d be easier to take time off if I had a family to tend to. For you I will slow down, I promise my imaginary future children in my head. It’s tough to get your priorities straight when you don’t have kids. Turning down jobs to take care of your children? A hero. Turning down jobs to take care of yourself? You’re an ungrateful bitch who doesn’t deserve what she has.”
“What’s that quote? You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm? Some days this comforts me. Other days I think, you should’ve gone up in flames, you selfish bitch.”
“I want to be happy. Not important or special, just happy.”
Although unexpected, it was nice getting to know the author in a more serious sense, as an all-encompassing human in contrast to the comedian we see on stage.
Fave quotes:
“I was trying to become not who I was, but who I was supposed to be. Someone wise and mature. Fully fledged and finally worthy. But true wisdom is accepting how little you know.”
“Men are like guns. It’s scary having one in the house, but it’s good to know how to use one, in case you’re ever in a bind.”
“I do have some deal breakers that have stayed fairly consistent. Anyone who expects you to plan something elaborate to celebrate their birthday, it’s a pass for me. Thinking your birthday is a big deal is insane. Birthdays are for drunks and children. When somebody asks, ‘What do you wanna do for your birthday?’ I’m always like, ‘I don’t know, work? And if I can’t work, just like disappear I guess? Sit in a dark room with existential dread and wait for it to be over?’ Birthdays are like sex. It’s never as good as you want it to be, and entitled white women think it should always be special.”
“Liars are written off immediately. The second I catch you lying about small inconsequential things, I’m out. ‘It was just a little white lie! I would never lie about anything important!’ BULL. SHIT. Good liars lie about little things to stay sharp. Little white lies are like dumbbells for them. They’re building muscle so they can lift the big betrayal later.”
“I learned to chase friendship, instead of just waiting for it to fall into my lap. Meeting people you click with does not happen every day. We complain about dating like deep connection should come more easily, but we only make a new long-term friend once every.. three years at best? I do not have real chemistry with many people. Not because I’m a misanthrope or anything, I just don’t know how to fake it. I can’t force it. I’m lucky if I can find it. And if I do, I’m intense about it.“
"How can I be more confident? As a deeply insecure person, the only thing that really helps me snap out of it is boredom. I simply get tired of my own bullshit. Whenever I have an intrusive, negative thought about myself I just think, This is so boring. You feel weird about your body? That's so boring. You think you're ugly? Who cares. You're afraid you're not talented? Fucking yawn. Hating yourself is unoriginal. I'd rather be ugly and interesting. Look at yourself with curiosity instead of judgment. I need larger pants. Interesting. I got dumped. Tell me more. I overslept. Huh, weird. I'm burnt out. Okay, let's chill for a minute. No big deal. You're not a robot, you're a human being, a flesh-and-blood character running around this world without a map. You are allowed to ebb and flow. You are allowed to become different versions of yourself, to experience different seasons. Instead of asking, ‘Why aren't I better?’, say, ‘I cannot wait to see what happens next!’ There are no disappointments, only plot twists. Stop focusing so much on self-improvement. You are a person, not a recipe that needs perfecting."
“I do think it’d be easier to take time off if I had a family to tend to. For you I will slow down, I promise my imaginary future children in my head. It’s tough to get your priorities straight when you don’t have kids. Turning down jobs to take care of your children? A hero. Turning down jobs to take care of yourself? You’re an ungrateful bitch who doesn’t deserve what she has.”
“What’s that quote? You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm? Some days this comforts me. Other days I think, you should’ve gone up in flames, you selfish bitch.”
“I want to be happy. Not important or special, just happy.”
September 22, 2026
Taylor Tomlinson has been one of my favorite comedians for awhile and I have seen her live several times over the years so I was very excited to see the ALC available for this book. Part of the reason I love her so much is being able to relate to her religious trauma, weight of being an elder sibling, later in life queer awakening, and her openness about mental health. Her comedy speaks to me on a different level than most. This book took the topics she normally speaks about in jokes and quips and added more reality and weight behind how it affected her.
There were so many times throughout this audiobook where I felt so seen and appreciate the honesty with which she wrote and narrated this. Highly enjoyed this one.
Thank you to Libro.FM and Simon and Shuster Audio for the ALC of this book. All thoughts are my own.
There were so many times throughout this audiobook where I felt so seen and appreciate the honesty with which she wrote and narrated this. Highly enjoyed this one.
Thank you to Libro.FM and Simon and Shuster Audio for the ALC of this book. All thoughts are my own.
September 23, 2026
4.5 stars, rounded up. This was much more heartfelt than I expected from a comedian's memoir. It was still very funny, but I feel like I understand the person that is Taylor Tomlinson in a way I didn't expect to. I especially loved the chapter about her siblings and the pressures she felt as an oldest child, and also I thought she navigated talking about her complicated relationship with her dad with grace and tact. I really, really enjoyed it.
September 24, 2026
A modern Jo March. Witty, relatable, and -flinchingly- honest. If you like the specials, you’ll like this. As a woman in my 20’s, this was a right-place-right-time listen for me. I think I might buy the book so I can highlight where I’m feeling things. Tomlinson hopes her book finds aspiring comedians, but her perspective translates to anyone trying to pave their own way in a beautiful and traumatizing world.
September 22, 2026
Never read anything more relatable
September 23, 2026
I loved this book. ❤️
Want to Read
July 3, 2026One of my favorite comedians!! You know I’ll be doing the audio
September 24, 2026
I watched one of Taylor's Netflix shows recently, and she was so real and hilarious. I picked her book because I was expecting the same candor, and I wasn't disappointed. She addresses any and every topic that comes to her mind in a light but resonating way. I came away with so many nuggets of wisdom from her.
She's such an advocate for mental health and personal growth. I felt seen by everything she shared because we've all gone through certain aspects of it all. Her description of her relationship with her 3 siblings hit home since I could relate it to me and my 3 siblings.
Listen to the audiobook. Hearing her articulate her thoughts made it even more empowering. She delivers her life and opinions as if you're just catching up over coffee. It isn't just trying to be funny. She just uses her comedian approach to tackle all the big issues. She walks you through everything she's been through in the hopes you can take some tips and support from her to apply to your life.
She's such an advocate for mental health and personal growth. I felt seen by everything she shared because we've all gone through certain aspects of it all. Her description of her relationship with her 3 siblings hit home since I could relate it to me and my 3 siblings.
Listen to the audiobook. Hearing her articulate her thoughts made it even more empowering. She delivers her life and opinions as if you're just catching up over coffee. It isn't just trying to be funny. She just uses her comedian approach to tackle all the big issues. She walks you through everything she's been through in the hopes you can take some tips and support from her to apply to your life.
September 24, 2026
I love Taylor Tomlinson as a comedian. She is amazing at what she does, so I really wanted to love this book, too.
Unfortunately, I didn’t quite fall in love with it, and I honestly can’t put my finger on one specific reason why.
I did enjoy getting to know Taylor a little better and learning more about her life and how she sees things. But I felt like there wasn’t quite enough substance around the actual premise of the book — all the things she has changed her mind about throughout her life. A lot of it felt somewhat superficial.
I completely understand not wanting to go too deep or expose parts of your life for the entire world to read, analyze, and dissect. But because of that, I almost wonder if this would have worked better as more of an autobiography, where the focus could simply be on her experiences and perspective rather than on the idea of changing her mind.
Unfortunately, I didn’t quite fall in love with it, and I honestly can’t put my finger on one specific reason why.
I did enjoy getting to know Taylor a little better and learning more about her life and how she sees things. But I felt like there wasn’t quite enough substance around the actual premise of the book — all the things she has changed her mind about throughout her life. A lot of it felt somewhat superficial.
I completely understand not wanting to go too deep or expose parts of your life for the entire world to read, analyze, and dissect. But because of that, I almost wonder if this would have worked better as more of an autobiography, where the focus could simply be on her experiences and perspective rather than on the idea of changing her mind.
September 24, 2026
I really enjoy Taylor's work - her stand up, After Midnight, etc. However, this format didn't mesh as well with her style of humor, in my opinion. She's a good writer and narrator and obviously a brilliant comedian, but the essays too frequently felt a bit too self-deprecating, to the point where the book sometimes felt too one-dimensional and cruel to herself. (Not to downplay her trauma, life experiences, or difficulties one bit). Taylor spends a lot of time talking about how unqualified she is to give advice, then many of the essays end up giving advice, which felt a little jarring.
Regardless, I'm glad Taylor wrote this book, and I'm glad I listened to it. I hope she writes more in the future, and I'll absolutely be seeing her when she tours again in my area.
Regardless, I'm glad Taylor wrote this book, and I'm glad I listened to it. I hope she writes more in the future, and I'll absolutely be seeing her when she tours again in my area.
September 22, 2026
tomlinson is a really fucking funny standup!! and that's evident in the best moments of this book. but, the personal / comedic essay is a weird freaky unwieldy form that makes it easy for a good joke (normally supported by an appropriate / inappropriate amount of mugging) to get lost. BUT but i'm being prissy abt this. really Honest writing which sounds backhanded but u don't ever think tomlison is trying to give u a better version of things, it's her the whole way through . the emotional beats land !!! u shudder at the mention of tumblr !! holding a fond space for this . And thinking about Netflix ❤️
September 24, 2026
I read this book in one seating, and even re-read certain parts multiple times. With the exception of her mom dying, and her unwavering love for her siblings (I’m no contact with mine), Taylor’s life stories are mine! There were multiple times she would been writing about something and I would verbally say my truth, only to read a few more lines down to see her saying the exact same things. Childhood and religious trauma bond people in the worst and best ways possible- you feel seen and understood and Taylor validates a lot of those things for not just me, but people around the globe. Must read with a box of tissues and a treat.
September 24, 2026
I have been such a huge fan of TT for so long. This book, while certainly showcasing her unique perspective and humor, isn’t a laugh a minute. It’s something deeper and more beautiful.
A love letter to her mother, who died when Taylor was young.
A love letter to her siblings, who mean so much to her.
And ultimately, a love letter to herself. A human with so much talent and potential, who badassedly chased her dreams while also struggling with self doubt and mental illness.
It’s also a wonderful advice book for young humans , figuring out their way.
Thank you TT. I hope you write and publish more.
Love,
Another pine candle lover
A love letter to her mother, who died when Taylor was young.
A love letter to her siblings, who mean so much to her.
And ultimately, a love letter to herself. A human with so much talent and potential, who badassedly chased her dreams while also struggling with self doubt and mental illness.
It’s also a wonderful advice book for young humans , figuring out their way.
Thank you TT. I hope you write and publish more.
Love,
Another pine candle lover
September 24, 2026
**Actually, Nevermind** by Taylor Tomlinson sounds like a refreshing mix of sharp comedy, vulnerability, and honest reflection. Through essays about relationships, therapy, religion, body image, ambition, grief, and adulthood, Tomlinson explores the many things she has changed her mind about. What makes the collection especially appealing is the balance between humor and heavier subjects. Her willingness to embrace uncertainty and admit that changing your perspective is part of growing up gives the essays both heart and humor.
A funny, thoughtful, and relatable read for anyone who has ever thought, “Actually… never mind.”
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September 24, 2026I adhere to the “no star ratings for memoirs” principle, but I definitely recommend this if you’ve enjoyed Taylor’s stand-up.
I have been following her work for a few years and love her fun demeanor and delivery, which also comes across as real and honest. If you appreciate the themes and experiences she references in her stand-up, then you will be interested in hearing the backstory behind them. I really enjoy the wit and relatability she brings to topics like religious trauma, mental health, being part of the “dead parent club,” being an eldest daughter, and simply existing as a millennial woman. She narrates the audiobook, so the comedic effect is part of the listening experience.
I have been following her work for a few years and love her fun demeanor and delivery, which also comes across as real and honest. If you appreciate the themes and experiences she references in her stand-up, then you will be interested in hearing the backstory behind them. I really enjoy the wit and relatability she brings to topics like religious trauma, mental health, being part of the “dead parent club,” being an eldest daughter, and simply existing as a millennial woman. She narrates the audiobook, so the comedic effect is part of the listening experience.
September 23, 2026
I love and appreciate Taylor’s candor in this book. I was expecting it to be more funny like her Netflix specials but it touched more on the serious side. I learned a few new things about her journey that surprised me so that was a cool plot twist (I thought I knew everything already haha). I gave it a 5 because I found the book to be heartfelt and honest. I will definitely be reading it again, if anything to better pick up some tidbits I might have missed.
September 15, 2026
honestly exceeded my high expectations. read it via audio in a day during a busy week. brought me comfort. will likely reread at some point. earnest, funny, insightful. covers her regular slate of topics: church, her mother’s death, mental health, her friendships and relationships, her career. thankful for Taylor Tomlinson
September 22, 2026
One of the best books I’ve read in a long while, it perfectly encapsulates what it feels to be a person who is evolving and so much of what Taylor writes about made me feel so seen. Would recommend this book to my best friends, mom, siblings, legit anyone
September 22, 2026
I so thoroughly enjoyed this, especially as an audiobook, listening to Taylor narrate her own words. So much of what she's alluded to in her specials, what happened to her late-night stint... It was an emotional ride.
Read
September 23, 2026This was not life changing per se, but I have been watching Taylor's specials, listening to her podcast and following her on instagram for years, so I was happy to hear a more coherent, and often also hitherto unknown story of her growing up and going through her twenties into her thirties.
September 23, 2026
I have always enjoyed Taylor’s comedy. It was great to hear about her life in a more serious way. I listened to the book and Taylor read it herself.
I really appreciated the information about how After Midnight ended. While we loved it in our house, we’re happy that Taylor took care of herself!
I really appreciated the information about how After Midnight ended. While we loved it in our house, we’re happy that Taylor took care of herself!
Review of advance copy received from Author
Honest, vulnerable, and hilarious- just what you'd expect from the brilliant mind of Taylor! I had high hopes for this book and it did not disappoint. Run to pick up a copy!
Review of advance copy
Great biography. She is so honest and funny.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Deeply relatable and incredibly well written.
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