Teenage Jane was a delight and hella reckless — drunk women who get into brawls at parties, so much gambling & drinking & MURDER, men roasting women for not being "sufficiently rich, beautiful, and witty", women forgetting they popped out a baby two weeks ago, only to adopt & then abandon & re-adopt said baby...
Let me tell you, these little tales that Jane wrote for the amusement of her family are WILD. Super fun but unsurprisingly not very substantial; they read more like drafts and concepts for stories, they're not well fleshed out. But if you take them for what they are and not judge them on literary merit, you will have the time of your life. I laughed out loud several times!
Jack and Alice - 2 stars
This short piece from Jane Austen's Juvenilia is fun to read because it's much less decorous and restrained than Jane Austen's later published novels -- though since she wrote it in her early teens, it's not surprising if it's a little rough and unsophisticated. As in others of her Juvenilia, she parodies some of the literature and literary conventions of her day.
The story is divided into nine chapters. The first chapter begins with Mr. Johnson deciding to throw a masquerade party for his 55th birthday; — "The Johnsons were a family of Love, & though a little addicted to the Bottle & the Dice, had many good Qualities." The most admired guest at the party is Charles Adams who is "so dazzling a Beauty that none but Eagles could look him in the Face."
Favorite quote: 'Sir, I may perhaps be expected to appear pleased at and gratefull for the offer you have made me: but let me tell you that I consider it as an affront.'
Henry and Eliza - 4 stars
The story begins by introducing Sir George and Lady Harcourt. One day Sir George and Lady Harcourt are supervising their workers in the field when they find a beautiful little girl no more than three months old hidden beneath a thick stack of hay, and decide to adapt her as their own and name her Eliza.
Eliza grows up pure and virtuous, however, when she happens to steal Ł50 (a vast sum) she is heartlessly turned out (by her "inhuman benefactors"). She then finds a position with an amiable duchess, and elopes with Henry, lover of the duchess's daughter. The duchess raises an army to pursue them, but Eliza and Henry manage to flee to France where they live vastly beyond their means, until Eliza is widowed, and returns to England in a private warship. She is imprisoned by the duchess, but daringly escapes from the dungeon. (I am telling you, young Jane's imagination was WILD!)
Her children indicate by biting off her fingers that they are hungry, she falls to begging, and happens to meet the kindly couple who adopted her. By the most natural of reconciliations they discover she is their biological daughter (bc of course, it's the most normal thing to forget that you popped out a baby and abandoned her... only to find that same baby three months later to adopt her lmao).
The beautifull Cassandra - 3 stars
Austen dedicates the story to her older sister and closest friend Cassandra Elizabeth Austen (1773–1845) who serves as inspiration for the story's title character. Austen compliments Cassandra profusely in the dedication in which she calls Cassandra elegant, noble, and majestic. The story is broken into 12 chapters which are only one to three sentences long.
Cassandra turns 16 years old and her mother makes "an elegant Bonnet" that Cassandra dons. She leaves her mother's shop "to make her Fortune." Along the way Cassandra comes across the Viscount of –. The Viscount of – is a nobleman known for his accomplishments and beauty. Cassandra curtseys at the gentleman before she proceeds to a pastry shop where she "devour[s]" six desserts, refuses to pay, and then knocks down the Pastry Cook. (Let me tell you, I was actually laughing out loud whilst reading this!)
Next she takes a "Hackney Coach" or horse-drawn carriage to Hampstead. Immediately upon arrival Cassandra orders the coachman to turn around and drive her back. The coachman drives her back and demands his payment. Cassandra searches her pockets while the coachman becomes increasingly impatient. Her search proves fruitless so she simply places her bonnet on the driver's head and runs away.
What I was wondering is what this moment between Cassandra and Maria – "Cassandra started and Maria seemed surprised; they trembled, blushed, turned pale and passed each other in a mutual silence." – is suppose to signify? It gives me major lesbian vibes, but I dunno if this is what Austen intended.
From A young Lady in distress'd Circumstances to her freind - 3 stars
In this letter, a young woman, Maria Williams, complains to her friend of the insufferable condescension of Lady Greville, who often chaperones Maria to balls along with her own daughters. One evening, Lady Greville expresses surprise at the fineness of Maria's gown, noting "It is not my way to find fault with people because they are poor, for I always think that they are more to be despised and pitied than blamed for it", and proceeds on indirectly insulting Maria and her family for their low social class. The next day, Lady Greville invites Maria to dine with them, telling here "If it rains you may take an umbrella", implying that Maria needs her permission to use such a convenience, leaving Maria "in a great passionwith her as she always does."
From a Young Lady very much in love to her Freind - 2 stars
This letter depicts the passionate relationship between Henrietta Halton and Tom Musgrove (a name that Austen later re-used for her unfinished novel The Watsons). She forwards Tom's love letters to her friend Matilda, telling her: "There is a pattern for a Love-letter Matilda! Did you ever read such a master-piece of Writing? Such sense, such sentiment, such purity of Thought, such flow of Language and such unfeigned Love in one sheet? No, never I can answer for it, since a Musgrove is not to be met with by every Girl. Oh! how I long to be with him!" And then Henrietta proceeds to tell her friend Matilda how lucky she is to become Tom's wife.
Personally, this letter didn't do anything for me. Henrietta's professions of love were corny as hell, and sure, they were exaggerated to be funny, but the humor didn't land as well as in some of the other letters. Probably my least favorite of the bunch!
A Letter from a Young Lady, whose feelings being too Strong for her Judgement ... - ??? stars
A woman named Anna Parker writes a letter to her beloved friend Ellinor. Anna says that she has faced misfortunes in her life but that "I am convinced that I have strictly deserved them" due to the fact that she murdered her father at a young age, later murdered her mother, and is now about to murder her sister. She goes so far as to say that there is not a crime that she has not committed but now she plans to turn over a new leaf because she will marry Colonel Martin of the Horse guards in a few days' time.
This letter left me ABSOLUTELY BAFFLED, so there is no rating, but damn "I am now going to murder my Sister." will go down as one of Austen's most ICONIC lines.