What Not to Say

by Mark Vernon

We all have moments when we’re frozen in silence, unsure of what to say to someone. Worse yet, when we do speak, what comes out is terribly wrong. What Not to Say delves into those situations and uses philosophy—which since antiquity has dealt with questions of how to live—to unpack them and suggest some dos and don’ts. Covering areas such as friendship, love, politics and religion, this witty and thought-provoking guide will enable us to speak more truthfully, openly, and clearly.

Hardcover

Reviews

[୨ colour ୧]

recommended to me by my teacher

[Ammon Schiffman · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book What Not to Say by Mark Vernon goes over multiple different scenarios a person could find themselves in, and what they should and shouldn’t say. He starts out each scenario by discussing what someone could say when faced with this situation, and usually does a good job describing the situation you would be in. He then goes on to describe what is at stake in the situation, and what harm saying the wrong thing could cause. He finishes describing the scenario by stating what someone shouldn’t say, and what thought process you should have when saying something in that particular situation. Overall, I learned a few things from this book, but I didn’t feel like reading it was worth my time. I felt like a huge majority of the advice given was not very necessary, and just telling a person to speak with the other person in mind would suffice. The book did however teach me the importance of a friendship, and what you should do to have a healthy friendship. I rate this book a 3 out of 5, and would recommend it to anyone who struggles with making or keeping friendships with others.

[Marjanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a collection of philosophical thoughts on a variety of 'tricky' moments in life. Some of the thoughts were interesting, but for the most part I think people would probably get better advice from Dear Abby. I think the thing that bugged me the most was that the author does not take a definitive position on most of the areas, and it seems rather vague. Some of the concerns seem kind of minor to me. This book is better if you're looking for philosophy and theory rather than practical answers and/or advice.

[Audrey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wish I had carefully read through reviews before I picked up this book at the library. I don't really feel like I learn much from it. It didn't give me a headache, but it definitely didn't help me either.

[Seina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have to say this jumped too much and tried to include too many subjects. It could have focused on the larger themes such as life and death, economics, and personal. Or managed to string them along.

The final section of "what not to say" was basically redundant because readers probably came to conclude how to act accordingly by simply living. And if individuals were indeed looking for tips on how to act and react appropriately, most of the time it didn't explicitly teach that either.

That being said, I did laugh a few times and stop to think of what actions I took in my life when faced with similar situations.

[Greta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since I wasn't looking for any deep philosophical answers to life's most pressing issues, I found this book to be a nice, easy, entertaining read. The author delves a little bit into philosophy, sociology, psychology and interpersonal relations to show that manners matter, compassion is key, and no matter what you say, you could be wrong. And sometimes it's best to say nothing at all. In the end, if this book doesn't give you the perfect response, it might provide you something to think about.

[Phil Bay · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a mixed bag. I love the philosophical discussions on friendship, homosexuality, love however the rest of the topics of marriage and loss is rather cliched and shallow. The author did not provide much stands on certain issues and it doesnt really felt like advice. It's more philo than anything.

[Steve Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

My late father had a knack of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time that I seem to have inherited. Although this book doesn’t really give specific examples of what not to say or of cliches to avoid, it does offer some advice of what is unlikely to go down well in various situations.

[Sally · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a completely useless book.

[Jane]

philosophical rather than practical, with a theological bent.

[Anna Jume · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was alright. A lot of philosophical quotes, whitch somehow muted the authors "voice"