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A Hoarse Half-human Cheer
A medieval schoolmaster whose students stabbed him to death with their pens---his name lives on in the College of Saint Cassian of Imola, a school with spectacular troubles. World War II has ended, and overnight Saint Cash’s has recklessly expanded from a dozen students to 4,500. Unknown to the honest clerics who think they run the place, the Newark Mafia find the college a handy front for dealing in war surplus materials. It’s a tough scene for a green kid like apprentice mortician Moon Gogarty, even tougher for basketball coach Douglas Knox, a priest with a drinking problem who receives mysterious threats on his life. And both Knox and Moon face a powerful mobster mistress Aisling Vastasi.In this sinister comedy, the mob blackmails a pedophile priest in order to take over his lucrative charity, The Children’s Crusade. Events follow a car-bombing, a fiery holocaust, an exorcism that ends in terror, a raid on a brothel, a college commencement that turns into a shoot-out, a play-off basketball game in which rival gamblers have bribed both teams.Alternately blood-curdling and hilarious, this is a gripping story full of sudden twists. Devotees of the thrillers of Elmore Leonard, Carl Hiassen, and Janet Evanovich will find A Hoarse Half-human Cheer in the same leagueX. J. Kennedy’s stories have appeared in Story Quarterly, Texas Review, Sunday newspaper supplements, Science Fiction Quarterly, and other magazines. He has written several books of verse, among them In a Prominent Bar in new & selected poems (an American Library Association notable book), two dozen children’s books, including a much praised novel The Owlstone Crown, and schoolbooks used by millions, including An Introduction to Fiction. A Hoarse Half-human Cheer is his first novel for adults.
- GenresFiction
402 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 16, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
September 3, 2015
Feeling like I found this in a hard-boiled mystery “pulp fiction” from the 50’s – the quirky characters (from sexy dames, to bloviating mobsters to ex-soldier priests) and off-beat plot (a Catholic school expands too quickly, finding itself in bed with the mafia) have a slightly old-fashioned quality, as if it had all been written by an uncle of Carl Hiaissen who served in WWII…
The story contained lots of interesting characters and a fully realized world set in a post WWII New Jersey. However, I struggled with the one strong female character, who – for no good reason – slept with any and all takers. Her character is never explained, but just presented as if that is naturally what sexy (and smart) women do.
Mildly entertaining but overall, dated…I could see recommending this to my dad to read.
The story contained lots of interesting characters and a fully realized world set in a post WWII New Jersey. However, I struggled with the one strong female character, who – for no good reason – slept with any and all takers. Her character is never explained, but just presented as if that is naturally what sexy (and smart) women do.
Mildly entertaining but overall, dated…I could see recommending this to my dad to read.
June 15, 2015
A Full Throated Belly Laugh
By Bob Gelms
X. J. Kennedy is a prolific writer. He has written dozens of children’s books, textbooks, multi volumes of very good poetry, and stories that have appeared in dozens of magazines and literary journals. A Hoarse Half-Human Cheer is his first novel for adults. You’ll know it’s for adults by the occasional PG-13 dialogue and one voluptuous biology teacher, who has sex with just about the whole cast of characters. It’s a scream.
The book is set just after WWII in a little college in New Jersey. The college is flooded with a tidal wave of GI’s enrolling on the GI Bill. The student population goes from 200-300 to well over 4000. Saint Cassian of Imola is rolling in dough and on its way to becoming the biggest Catholic College in the world. That pleases the President of the College, Monsignor Malachi O’Malley, to no end. There are, however, a number of nefarious people who would like a piece of the action. One of these mooks is Ricco Peruccese, AKA Ricky Peru, who comes off like a philanthropist and, therefore, is in the company of the Monsignor who puts up with and humors anyone willing to make a donation to St Cassian. Ricco also happens to be the local representative of the Mafia.
One of Ricco’s boys, Glauco Vastasi, is the Business Manager of the College. His scam is almost foolproof. He requests Army surplus items from the government. The government is all too eager to send the stuff to a charity. Vastasi then sells it on the black market. His latest project is trying to unload a few hundred Browning automatic rifles, stored in the basement of the church to Ciudad Trujillo, the dictator of the Dominican Republic, after just having sold him a consignment of Navy life rafts. Trujillo, as it happens, is contemplating an invasion of Haiti. It’s a booming business.
With the increase in ex-soldier students, the college was suddenly in dire need of teachers and they hire a few doozies with only a scant look at credentials. One such hire, Aisling Vastasi, was almost literally bursting out of her blouse. Yep, she is the wife of our college’s Business Manager – sort of. The “wife” part might not actually be completely legal, but who’s checking. She has a master’s degree in biology so she becomes St. Cassian’s biology teacher with, one might say, a hands on attitude.
Father Knox is a good guy priest with something of a potty mouth and the coach of the basketball team in addition to teaching religion in a way that might incur the wrath of the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. But who’s checking - certainly not Msgr. O’Malley.
Knox and St. Cassian have a big game coming up with Holy Sepulcher, their arch rival. St. Cassian has one in the bag, a spectacular basketball player who just enrolled in school. St Cassian is going to bury Holy Sepulcher. But there are a few rats in the stew. Vastasi and Ricky Peru are conspiring to pay off the players and throw the game to Holy Sepulcher. It’s shear madness and so funny I had to stop reading.
Complicating all this is the appearance of representatives of The Church of the One Right Path, who, for some unexplainable reason are trying to assassinate Fr. Knox.
Mr. Kennedy handles all the strings of the plot like a master comedy writer and one needs not travel very far under the surface of the plot to see that the story is dripping with satire…some of it PG-13, all of it a laugh a minute. If you are wondering about the odd title, I have to tell you it’s not used in the text. My old pal GOOGLE helped me out on this one. It’s the last line of a poem by John Davidson called A Ballad of Hell.
A Hoarse Half-Human Cheer is a delight and short enough for a nice weekend read. It comes highly recommended by me, especially to folks with warped senses of humor.
By Bob Gelms
X. J. Kennedy is a prolific writer. He has written dozens of children’s books, textbooks, multi volumes of very good poetry, and stories that have appeared in dozens of magazines and literary journals. A Hoarse Half-Human Cheer is his first novel for adults. You’ll know it’s for adults by the occasional PG-13 dialogue and one voluptuous biology teacher, who has sex with just about the whole cast of characters. It’s a scream.
The book is set just after WWII in a little college in New Jersey. The college is flooded with a tidal wave of GI’s enrolling on the GI Bill. The student population goes from 200-300 to well over 4000. Saint Cassian of Imola is rolling in dough and on its way to becoming the biggest Catholic College in the world. That pleases the President of the College, Monsignor Malachi O’Malley, to no end. There are, however, a number of nefarious people who would like a piece of the action. One of these mooks is Ricco Peruccese, AKA Ricky Peru, who comes off like a philanthropist and, therefore, is in the company of the Monsignor who puts up with and humors anyone willing to make a donation to St Cassian. Ricco also happens to be the local representative of the Mafia.
One of Ricco’s boys, Glauco Vastasi, is the Business Manager of the College. His scam is almost foolproof. He requests Army surplus items from the government. The government is all too eager to send the stuff to a charity. Vastasi then sells it on the black market. His latest project is trying to unload a few hundred Browning automatic rifles, stored in the basement of the church to Ciudad Trujillo, the dictator of the Dominican Republic, after just having sold him a consignment of Navy life rafts. Trujillo, as it happens, is contemplating an invasion of Haiti. It’s a booming business.
With the increase in ex-soldier students, the college was suddenly in dire need of teachers and they hire a few doozies with only a scant look at credentials. One such hire, Aisling Vastasi, was almost literally bursting out of her blouse. Yep, she is the wife of our college’s Business Manager – sort of. The “wife” part might not actually be completely legal, but who’s checking. She has a master’s degree in biology so she becomes St. Cassian’s biology teacher with, one might say, a hands on attitude.
Father Knox is a good guy priest with something of a potty mouth and the coach of the basketball team in addition to teaching religion in a way that might incur the wrath of the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. But who’s checking - certainly not Msgr. O’Malley.
Knox and St. Cassian have a big game coming up with Holy Sepulcher, their arch rival. St. Cassian has one in the bag, a spectacular basketball player who just enrolled in school. St Cassian is going to bury Holy Sepulcher. But there are a few rats in the stew. Vastasi and Ricky Peru are conspiring to pay off the players and throw the game to Holy Sepulcher. It’s shear madness and so funny I had to stop reading.
Complicating all this is the appearance of representatives of The Church of the One Right Path, who, for some unexplainable reason are trying to assassinate Fr. Knox.
Mr. Kennedy handles all the strings of the plot like a master comedy writer and one needs not travel very far under the surface of the plot to see that the story is dripping with satire…some of it PG-13, all of it a laugh a minute. If you are wondering about the odd title, I have to tell you it’s not used in the text. My old pal GOOGLE helped me out on this one. It’s the last line of a poem by John Davidson called A Ballad of Hell.
A Hoarse Half-Human Cheer is a delight and short enough for a nice weekend read. It comes highly recommended by me, especially to folks with warped senses of humor.
April 21, 2015
What a strange book.
And yet, despite its strangeness, and cryptic title, I found myself liking it quite a bit, though it's hard to say exactly why.
A Hoarse, Half-Human Cheer (which will henceforth be referred to only as A Cheer, because let's face it, that title is way too long and bizarre) takes place in 1947 at a Catholic college in New Jersey, Saint Cassian's of Imola. Though the story is told through several viewpoints, always in the third person, its main characters are Doug Knox and Moon Gogarty. Father Knox, basketball coach and religion class teacher, first comes off as an obnoxious hard-ass. And though the obnoxiousness fades quickly, the hard-assness does not. Knox is quick, blunt, capable, knowledgeable on martial arts, and very, very lucky. (Seriously, the number of times he almost dies in this book are crazy. I counted five.)
Moon Gogarty is an awkward, naïve apprentice mortician-turned-student at Saint Cash's. I suppose he's pretty stock character-y in the fact that he plays the "Lovable Dork" almost to a tee. But he isn't, overall, a bad character.
It takes a while for things to really get going- in the beginning, it's mostly about life at the college, and the few incidents that do happen don't seem important or related. But once stuff starts to pick up, the book becomes a wild, fun, madcap roller coaster. There's a nymphomanic biology professor, an ex-GI with a mechanical claw, a vengeful basketball prodigy, a tonsured lunatic, and, surrounding it all and closing ever inward, the Italian mafia.
Saint Cash's, you see, has made some shady deals with Ricco Peruccese, a.k.a. Ricky Peru, and his gang, leading them unwittingly into the nasty business of the mob- war surplus racket, blackmail, hits, prostitution, and a whole lot of other stuff. Basically, they open up a can of worms that they can't shut.
And that's not even the half of it- into all that sticky bidness come a priest who's off his rocker, plus an equally insane "prophet", not to mention a whole lot of guns and Ritz crackers.
My biggest problem with A Cheer is that the whole storyline involving Cross and the Church of the One Right Path seemed pretty rushed, especially as Cross' motivation is only revealed in the last five pages or so. In that respect, I felt like the author tried to squeeze just a bit too much into a book that was already chock-full of plots and characters.
I should warn you, though: there's some misogyny and domestic abuse. Quite a few women get hit by complete assholes who are usually cheating on them with several other women. I didn't think, however that those characters' misogyny was disproportionate to the book as a whole, or that their statements reflected any sort of hatred towards women on behalf of the author. I mean, it was the late forties, after all- disgusting as it may be, that sort of thing was very prevalent back then. (Not that that excuses it in the slightest.) Also, there are a few semi-graphic sex scenes. Don't let your local nun catch you reading this.
P.S. I received an advance copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I must say, however, that this didn't affect my opinion at all- it just meant that my copy had a few more spelling and grammar errors than the official one ;)
And yet, despite its strangeness, and cryptic title, I found myself liking it quite a bit, though it's hard to say exactly why.
A Hoarse, Half-Human Cheer (which will henceforth be referred to only as A Cheer, because let's face it, that title is way too long and bizarre) takes place in 1947 at a Catholic college in New Jersey, Saint Cassian's of Imola. Though the story is told through several viewpoints, always in the third person, its main characters are Doug Knox and Moon Gogarty. Father Knox, basketball coach and religion class teacher, first comes off as an obnoxious hard-ass. And though the obnoxiousness fades quickly, the hard-assness does not. Knox is quick, blunt, capable, knowledgeable on martial arts, and very, very lucky. (Seriously, the number of times he almost dies in this book are crazy. I counted five.)
Moon Gogarty is an awkward, naïve apprentice mortician-turned-student at Saint Cash's. I suppose he's pretty stock character-y in the fact that he plays the "Lovable Dork" almost to a tee. But he isn't, overall, a bad character.
It takes a while for things to really get going- in the beginning, it's mostly about life at the college, and the few incidents that do happen don't seem important or related. But once stuff starts to pick up, the book becomes a wild, fun, madcap roller coaster. There's a nymphomanic biology professor, an ex-GI with a mechanical claw, a vengeful basketball prodigy, a tonsured lunatic, and, surrounding it all and closing ever inward, the Italian mafia.
Saint Cash's, you see, has made some shady deals with Ricco Peruccese, a.k.a. Ricky Peru, and his gang, leading them unwittingly into the nasty business of the mob- war surplus racket, blackmail, hits, prostitution, and a whole lot of other stuff. Basically, they open up a can of worms that they can't shut.
And that's not even the half of it- into all that sticky bidness come a priest who's off his rocker, plus an equally insane "prophet", not to mention a whole lot of guns and Ritz crackers.
My biggest problem with A Cheer is that the whole storyline involving Cross and the Church of the One Right Path seemed pretty rushed, especially as Cross' motivation is only revealed in the last five pages or so. In that respect, I felt like the author tried to squeeze just a bit too much into a book that was already chock-full of plots and characters.
I should warn you, though: there's some misogyny and domestic abuse. Quite a few women get hit by complete assholes who are usually cheating on them with several other women. I didn't think, however that those characters' misogyny was disproportionate to the book as a whole, or that their statements reflected any sort of hatred towards women on behalf of the author. I mean, it was the late forties, after all- disgusting as it may be, that sort of thing was very prevalent back then. (Not that that excuses it in the slightest.) Also, there are a few semi-graphic sex scenes. Don't let your local nun catch you reading this.
P.S. I received an advance copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I must say, however, that this didn't affect my opinion at all- it just meant that my copy had a few more spelling and grammar errors than the official one ;)
April 25, 2015
It was Peter Dexter who wrote, "Keep in mind that a book that entertains without enlightening can still be a guilty pleasure, but a book that enlightens without entertaining is algebra." Joseph [X.J.] Kennedy's delightful "A Hoarse Half-Human Cheer" is, admittedly, intended to entertain, yet it enlightens in being a period piece - après-guerre America, circa 1946 - foreshadowing the sprawling modern era in this country with wit, humor and irony. After you finish re-reading Heller's "Catch-22," this is the novel you should begin.
Young Moon Gogarty is the book's Candide, trying to deal with his stultified feelings after having lost his first love to his mortician grandmother, just as he's about to begin his studies at the infamous College of Saint Cassian of Imola. He's thrust into a community of 4,500 older men who've just been discharged from military service after World War II. Here we gain our first revelation: the government realizes there aren't enough jobs - at least not just yet - for this huge number of ex-GIs, and must ease them back into American life with a few years of college. This, of course, was the beginning of the GI Bill and the belief that Anyman could be educated at the college level, an experiment that persists to this day.
Waiting within Saint Cassian’s Catholic college's walls is Father Douglas Knox, an embittered, dark-spirited but highly ethical priest whose primary interest is the college basketball team. Concerned to the point that every act of policy is perceived as either good for the team or not, he seems to conclude that most are the latter. Knox knows he is a study in contradictions, but his alcohol abuse precludes much self-examination, so he projects his contrariness on everything and everyone else, in particular the college president, Father O'Malley, who possesses that special ecclesiastical ability to transform moral, ethical or intellectual dichotomies into doctrinal blessings. Even regarding Glauco Vastasi, a known New Jersey Mafioso in the employ of a capo named Ricco Peruccese, AKA Ricky Peru, who has been planted at the college to acquire military surplus, from typewriters to M-1s, and resell it on the black market. Peru wants Father O’Malley to bestow an honorary degree upon him for donating funds for a building. Everyone, it seems, has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.
If all this sublime hilarity weren't enough, Kennedy gives us the lovely, pneumatic Aisling Weinstein, formerly an Army officer, now the college's new biology teacher and a single mom masquerading as Vastasi's wife. Aisling is the kind of woman who, in those times, would be labeled a nymphomaniac. Try as she might, she cannot take Moon's virginity, nor conquer the folds of Father Knox's habit. No matter, there are many others who stand ready to serve, and it's only one of the numerous plot twists that make the novel so utterly, page-turningly, delightful to read.
The championship basketball game between Saint Cassian and its arch rival, Holy Sepulcher College, is played for all its worth - not by the teams, but rather the gangsters who are betting on it. Moon, who finds his calling as a reporter for the college newspaper, uncovers the military surplus scandal, but not without putting his own life in jeopardy. Another faculty priest who heads the Children’s Crusade fundraiser is a pedophile. And what of these religious fanatics with their flattop haircuts shaved as crosses who have sworn a blood oath against Father Knox?
Kennedy challenges us to think about his subjects: the military, the post-war social norms and how they have shaped our modern culture, the Catholic church, interracial relationships, higher education, motherhood, adolescent coming-of-age, organized crime, college sports, newspapers, Hope, and Fear, and Ennui, and Perfidy. The author’s sharp-witted pen teases the human animal, never sparing the subject matter; where else in literature might you find a mafia boss asking Mickey Spillane to write his honorary Ph.D. acceptance speech? It just goes on and on as you eagerly turn page after page to find out what happens next, in between wiping tears of mirth from your eyes.
Kennedy’s simple but elegant writing flows; you will be spared Heller’s often clumsy, heavy-handed, novice writing style. This is the work of a master of words and style, a guilty pleasure indeed.
For the literarily curious, it is recommended you read the poem, “A Ballad of Hell” by John Davidson [http://www.bartleby.com/103/21.html] from which the author drew his title.
Young Moon Gogarty is the book's Candide, trying to deal with his stultified feelings after having lost his first love to his mortician grandmother, just as he's about to begin his studies at the infamous College of Saint Cassian of Imola. He's thrust into a community of 4,500 older men who've just been discharged from military service after World War II. Here we gain our first revelation: the government realizes there aren't enough jobs - at least not just yet - for this huge number of ex-GIs, and must ease them back into American life with a few years of college. This, of course, was the beginning of the GI Bill and the belief that Anyman could be educated at the college level, an experiment that persists to this day.
Waiting within Saint Cassian’s Catholic college's walls is Father Douglas Knox, an embittered, dark-spirited but highly ethical priest whose primary interest is the college basketball team. Concerned to the point that every act of policy is perceived as either good for the team or not, he seems to conclude that most are the latter. Knox knows he is a study in contradictions, but his alcohol abuse precludes much self-examination, so he projects his contrariness on everything and everyone else, in particular the college president, Father O'Malley, who possesses that special ecclesiastical ability to transform moral, ethical or intellectual dichotomies into doctrinal blessings. Even regarding Glauco Vastasi, a known New Jersey Mafioso in the employ of a capo named Ricco Peruccese, AKA Ricky Peru, who has been planted at the college to acquire military surplus, from typewriters to M-1s, and resell it on the black market. Peru wants Father O’Malley to bestow an honorary degree upon him for donating funds for a building. Everyone, it seems, has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.
If all this sublime hilarity weren't enough, Kennedy gives us the lovely, pneumatic Aisling Weinstein, formerly an Army officer, now the college's new biology teacher and a single mom masquerading as Vastasi's wife. Aisling is the kind of woman who, in those times, would be labeled a nymphomaniac. Try as she might, she cannot take Moon's virginity, nor conquer the folds of Father Knox's habit. No matter, there are many others who stand ready to serve, and it's only one of the numerous plot twists that make the novel so utterly, page-turningly, delightful to read.
The championship basketball game between Saint Cassian and its arch rival, Holy Sepulcher College, is played for all its worth - not by the teams, but rather the gangsters who are betting on it. Moon, who finds his calling as a reporter for the college newspaper, uncovers the military surplus scandal, but not without putting his own life in jeopardy. Another faculty priest who heads the Children’s Crusade fundraiser is a pedophile. And what of these religious fanatics with their flattop haircuts shaved as crosses who have sworn a blood oath against Father Knox?
Kennedy challenges us to think about his subjects: the military, the post-war social norms and how they have shaped our modern culture, the Catholic church, interracial relationships, higher education, motherhood, adolescent coming-of-age, organized crime, college sports, newspapers, Hope, and Fear, and Ennui, and Perfidy. The author’s sharp-witted pen teases the human animal, never sparing the subject matter; where else in literature might you find a mafia boss asking Mickey Spillane to write his honorary Ph.D. acceptance speech? It just goes on and on as you eagerly turn page after page to find out what happens next, in between wiping tears of mirth from your eyes.
Kennedy’s simple but elegant writing flows; you will be spared Heller’s often clumsy, heavy-handed, novice writing style. This is the work of a master of words and style, a guilty pleasure indeed.
For the literarily curious, it is recommended you read the poem, “A Ballad of Hell” by John Davidson [http://www.bartleby.com/103/21.html] from which the author drew his title.
April 20, 2015
NetGalley offered this book with fair warning that it might offend the more pious among us; the author himself calls it "an entertainment," but having enjoyed a satire or two in my reading past, I decided to give it a try.
There is definitely a humorous premise: A struggling Catholic college sees a golden opportunity to strike it rich by accepting thousands of ex GIs into their degree programs in exchange for the government money offered in the GI Bill. This creates another issue...faculty, but no problem, they hire displaced Europeans at the dock, not quibbling about their qualifications, but assigning them to teach whatever classes the students sign up for. Glauco Vastasi, the Business Manager of St. Cassian of Imola, incidentally with ties to the New Jersey mob, also notices that the government is getting rid of tons of supplies once needed in times of war but now it is merely surplus. He begins to requisition this stuff ostensibly for use in the classroom, but oh, wait, there may be governments in Central America who could use the guns and ammo, so he begins to market to a receptive audience in third world countries.
That particular college administrator is married, but he shares his campus housing with his live-in girl friend. She is a veteran with war time history as a nurse, and the mother of a young child who could have been fathered by any one of a number of vets with whom she was stranded on a desert island for a short time. She is beautiful, intelligent, and by the way, a nymphomaniac who wants to share a bed with virtually every man on campus, including the priests. She teaches Biology.
The protagonists include a student, Moon Gogarty, who is hopelessly "in love" with his teacher, the nymphomaniac, and Douglas Knox, a priest who also coaches the basketball team. The nympho has her eyes set on the priest. There is another priest with a strong attraction to young children. The mob is intent on fixing the basketball games, and someone is trying to eliminate Knox. The mob? Maybe, but maybe not...
Can it get any wackier? Well, yes, but again, if you have a sensitivity toward jokes and mocking of the Catholic church, or about nymphomania or pedophilia, to name a couple of things, this may not be for you. But if you're down for outrageous humor, no matter the sanctity of the target, this may be just the ticket. Consider yourself warned...
There is definitely a humorous premise: A struggling Catholic college sees a golden opportunity to strike it rich by accepting thousands of ex GIs into their degree programs in exchange for the government money offered in the GI Bill. This creates another issue...faculty, but no problem, they hire displaced Europeans at the dock, not quibbling about their qualifications, but assigning them to teach whatever classes the students sign up for. Glauco Vastasi, the Business Manager of St. Cassian of Imola, incidentally with ties to the New Jersey mob, also notices that the government is getting rid of tons of supplies once needed in times of war but now it is merely surplus. He begins to requisition this stuff ostensibly for use in the classroom, but oh, wait, there may be governments in Central America who could use the guns and ammo, so he begins to market to a receptive audience in third world countries.
That particular college administrator is married, but he shares his campus housing with his live-in girl friend. She is a veteran with war time history as a nurse, and the mother of a young child who could have been fathered by any one of a number of vets with whom she was stranded on a desert island for a short time. She is beautiful, intelligent, and by the way, a nymphomaniac who wants to share a bed with virtually every man on campus, including the priests. She teaches Biology.
The protagonists include a student, Moon Gogarty, who is hopelessly "in love" with his teacher, the nymphomaniac, and Douglas Knox, a priest who also coaches the basketball team. The nympho has her eyes set on the priest. There is another priest with a strong attraction to young children. The mob is intent on fixing the basketball games, and someone is trying to eliminate Knox. The mob? Maybe, but maybe not...
Can it get any wackier? Well, yes, but again, if you have a sensitivity toward jokes and mocking of the Catholic church, or about nymphomania or pedophilia, to name a couple of things, this may not be for you. But if you're down for outrageous humor, no matter the sanctity of the target, this may be just the ticket. Consider yourself warned...
April 26, 2015
Reviewed by Marissa
Book provided by NetGalley for review
Review originally posted at Romancing the Book
I would categorize this as one of those odd books with no true genre. It’s amusing, there’s an air of mystery, a bit of drama and a lot of talk about sex (though nothing graphic). It has mobsters and murder, religion and even dead people that blow up. There is also no one main character, or even two main characters. But I do have a favorite character: The College of St. Cassian of Imola.
St. Cash’s is a Catholic college trying to boost it’s student enrollment simply for the money they can bring in. However, in the rush to bring in GI’s at the end of the war, the college has failed to make accommodations for the influx of students. Philosophy classes are held in the boiler room. And the professor’s names are just about as ridiculous. The professor of education is Bonzo G. Hookey. The Joyce Kilmer Professor of English is Michael O. “Mickey” Spillane. Voice and diction is taught by Wladislaw Wyszynski. But my favorite: French classes are held in a men’s restroom, taught by a professor named Pigout (appropriately pronounced pee-goo).
Moon (who couldn’t love a character with that name?) is away from home for the first time. He’s the Forties version of a geek. He doesn’t appear to fit in anywhere except with his other nerdy roommates. He’s a sort of Walter Mitty, dreaming of himself in the role of Benny Goodman or Artie Shaw, leading a swing band and glowing in the adoration of the audience.
Aisling Vistasi is the hot mama of the college, both figuratively and literally. All the men drool over her vivacious and curvy looks and yet she usually has an infant in her arms (the result of an island affair which is amusing in it’s own right). She is on the look out for a permanent husband, a meal ticket of respectability for her illegitimate child, yet she is one powerhouse of a woman who knows how to use sex to get what she wants.
I found myself laughing out loud at the most obscure times and yet some of it seemed so ridiculous that it bordered on fantasy. This is really just a fun ride of a story.
Book provided by NetGalley for review
Review originally posted at Romancing the Book
I would categorize this as one of those odd books with no true genre. It’s amusing, there’s an air of mystery, a bit of drama and a lot of talk about sex (though nothing graphic). It has mobsters and murder, religion and even dead people that blow up. There is also no one main character, or even two main characters. But I do have a favorite character: The College of St. Cassian of Imola.
St. Cash’s is a Catholic college trying to boost it’s student enrollment simply for the money they can bring in. However, in the rush to bring in GI’s at the end of the war, the college has failed to make accommodations for the influx of students. Philosophy classes are held in the boiler room. And the professor’s names are just about as ridiculous. The professor of education is Bonzo G. Hookey. The Joyce Kilmer Professor of English is Michael O. “Mickey” Spillane. Voice and diction is taught by Wladislaw Wyszynski. But my favorite: French classes are held in a men’s restroom, taught by a professor named Pigout (appropriately pronounced pee-goo).
Moon (who couldn’t love a character with that name?) is away from home for the first time. He’s the Forties version of a geek. He doesn’t appear to fit in anywhere except with his other nerdy roommates. He’s a sort of Walter Mitty, dreaming of himself in the role of Benny Goodman or Artie Shaw, leading a swing band and glowing in the adoration of the audience.
Aisling Vistasi is the hot mama of the college, both figuratively and literally. All the men drool over her vivacious and curvy looks and yet she usually has an infant in her arms (the result of an island affair which is amusing in it’s own right). She is on the look out for a permanent husband, a meal ticket of respectability for her illegitimate child, yet she is one powerhouse of a woman who knows how to use sex to get what she wants.
I found myself laughing out loud at the most obscure times and yet some of it seemed so ridiculous that it bordered on fantasy. This is really just a fun ride of a story.
April 10, 2023
This book wasn’t my typical read. It’s supposed to be a dark comedy, but to me, it was more dark than funny.
A hoarse half-human cheer has many main characters. It begins with James “Moon” Gogarty, then we get introduced to Knox, a priest and basketball coac, professor Aisling, the “wife” of mafia-member Glauco Vastasi and Glauco’s uncle, mafia-leader Ricky Peru.
There is no fully “good” character in this book. Our main character Moon often draws imaginary circles around women he would like to fuck, Aisling has some moral compass, but she is very selfish and Glauco and Ricky Peru are full on arseholes. The “best” character is priest Knox, who I feel is the most well-rounded character. He’s a widower, is attracted to Aisling (like every other man in this book), but he refuses to fuck her because he’s a priest.
The reason this book only gets 3 stars is its writing style. Throughout the whole book, I felt like the author was trying to hard. He often overcomplicated easy sentences. It was very much like the writing I did when I was 15, in English, trying to show off. One example is “Where a sing proclaimed in gold letters COLLEGE OF ST. CASSIAN OF IMOLA, the cab hauling Moon and his baggage up from Dedwood station turned in and crunched along a winding gravel drive.” This might just be me, but this writing style bugs me.
Another thing bugging me was how hurried the ending felt, especially the sub-plot ending. I’m not going to spoil anything but there’s a sub-plot revolving around a newly started church that’s out to kill one of the characters.
The final thing that I didn’t enjoy about this book was the way ALL characters had a name. At one point, early in the book, we get introduced to ALL OF THE STAFF. Not just the ones that we get to know later in the book, but ALL OF THEM. It just felt unnecessary and made it confusing as to whether I had met the character earlier or not.
All in all, this was a fast-paced read with an okay plot. There were some mistakes, but I would recommend this to someone who enjoyed the genres action and thriller.
I received a digital ARC of this from the publishers via netgalley.
A hoarse half-human cheer has many main characters. It begins with James “Moon” Gogarty, then we get introduced to Knox, a priest and basketball coac, professor Aisling, the “wife” of mafia-member Glauco Vastasi and Glauco’s uncle, mafia-leader Ricky Peru.
There is no fully “good” character in this book. Our main character Moon often draws imaginary circles around women he would like to fuck, Aisling has some moral compass, but she is very selfish and Glauco and Ricky Peru are full on arseholes. The “best” character is priest Knox, who I feel is the most well-rounded character. He’s a widower, is attracted to Aisling (like every other man in this book), but he refuses to fuck her because he’s a priest.
The reason this book only gets 3 stars is its writing style. Throughout the whole book, I felt like the author was trying to hard. He often overcomplicated easy sentences. It was very much like the writing I did when I was 15, in English, trying to show off. One example is “Where a sing proclaimed in gold letters COLLEGE OF ST. CASSIAN OF IMOLA, the cab hauling Moon and his baggage up from Dedwood station turned in and crunched along a winding gravel drive.” This might just be me, but this writing style bugs me.
Another thing bugging me was how hurried the ending felt, especially the sub-plot ending. I’m not going to spoil anything but there’s a sub-plot revolving around a newly started church that’s out to kill one of the characters.
The final thing that I didn’t enjoy about this book was the way ALL characters had a name. At one point, early in the book, we get introduced to ALL OF THE STAFF. Not just the ones that we get to know later in the book, but ALL OF THEM. It just felt unnecessary and made it confusing as to whether I had met the character earlier or not.
All in all, this was a fast-paced read with an okay plot. There were some mistakes, but I would recommend this to someone who enjoyed the genres action and thriller.
I received a digital ARC of this from the publishers via netgalley.
March 25, 2015
I hadn’t heard of X.J. Kennedy until I read the blurb for his novel “A Hoarse Half-Human Cheer.” He has emerged from behind his dozens of books of poetry to write his first adult novel. It’s a comedic foray into a world of academia that is filled with oblivious administrators, stained Fathers, unschooled war veterans, nervous students, inept mobsters, and a beautiful nymphomaniac who doesn’t give a fig for accepted behavior. Kennedy was 85 when he published this book in 2014, but don’t stereotype his work as stodgy.
An obscure Catholic college in upper New Jersey is down at its heels and struggling. Forced to admit 4,500 war veterans at the end of World War II to keep its doors open, it also leaves itself vulnerable to mismanagement, an illegal military surplus fraud, Mafia interference, inept faculty hires, and campus deterioration. In this frazzled world we find struggling students, a priest with a fondness for young boys and the grape, inept Mafia kingpins, a collared basketball coach who is targeted for a violent end, and a beautiful teacher who is more than happy to conduct after class instruction.
There is arson, firebombing, exorcism, a brothel raid, a basketball game without players, crumbling buildings, and a graduation with gunplay. Kennedy loosely weaves it all together and presents glowering prospects with comedic outcomes that will sometimes leave you sputtering with laughter. The characters, too numerous to categorize, are zany and somewhat out of focus, but that is the way the entire book is structured. It is fuzzy and frantic but pleasing and fun to read.
I’m not ecstatic about the book. Some of the dialogue seemed contrived and a little dated. But I enjoyed the overall entertainment of watching inept people flounder in their own follies. So I recommend it for its diversionary value. I’m more impressed with F.X. Kennedy’s amazing poetry. Read his “In a Prominent Bar in Secaucus One Day” for a delightful straight up account of a former beauty accepting her role as a barfly.
April 8, 2015
A Hoarse, Half-Human Cheer was a real hoot. You may find yourself speaking like this after emerging from the book, blinking in the modern light, expecting, perhaps, a sepia tinge to the air.
I got A Hoarse, Half-Human Cheer for free through NetGalley.
X.J. Kennedy's got this great sense of the voice of the fifties, or at least the voice of the fifties as passed down to us through the generations, just soaked throughout the entire novel. And accompanying the voice is a fun little caper story involving the mob, basketball, wise-cracking secretaries, karate-kicking priests (reminded me of the Dead Alive scene with the priest shouting, "I kick ass for the Lord!"), army surplus, and a dame with a lot of moxie. There are clear villains and good guys, there is some good, old fashioned violence. There is a really, really funny scene where a renegade priest has gone off his rocker and blessed a warehouse full of Ritz crackers which, as their Catholic duty, the priests and nuns of the Catholic college at the heart of the story, the college staff have to eat in one evening, lest the body of Christ be profaned. "Surely you wouldn’t smear jelly on the Body of Our Lord?"
Well worth your time.
I got A Hoarse, Half-Human Cheer for free through NetGalley.
X.J. Kennedy's got this great sense of the voice of the fifties, or at least the voice of the fifties as passed down to us through the generations, just soaked throughout the entire novel. And accompanying the voice is a fun little caper story involving the mob, basketball, wise-cracking secretaries, karate-kicking priests (reminded me of the Dead Alive scene with the priest shouting, "I kick ass for the Lord!"), army surplus, and a dame with a lot of moxie. There are clear villains and good guys, there is some good, old fashioned violence. There is a really, really funny scene where a renegade priest has gone off his rocker and blessed a warehouse full of Ritz crackers which, as their Catholic duty, the priests and nuns of the Catholic college at the heart of the story, the college staff have to eat in one evening, lest the body of Christ be profaned. "Surely you wouldn’t smear jelly on the Body of Our Lord?"
Well worth your time.
May 5, 2015
If you enjoy quirky, and I do, then I can recommend this book. There were times while I was reading it that it reminded me of Dave Barry or Carl Hiaissen. The characters are all off-kilter and have some unique perspectives about life. They are also endearing and funny.
St. Cash is a college that has grown from 13 to 4500 students in one year and to say that there are growing pains would be a gross understatement. Certainly not helping the problems is the attempts by organized crime to infiltrate all levels of academic and sporting life on campus. Their plans are being thwarted by a priest who is possibly the least priestly of any priest in fiction. Naturally, they do not appreciate his interference but they have competition to see who can harm him the most as a crazed cult tries repeatedly to assassinate him.
Without giving too much away, both parties are unsuccessful but it is quite a ride to see who can top whom in the attempts. It's a quick and entertaining read. I will give it a human cheer.
St. Cash is a college that has grown from 13 to 4500 students in one year and to say that there are growing pains would be a gross understatement. Certainly not helping the problems is the attempts by organized crime to infiltrate all levels of academic and sporting life on campus. Their plans are being thwarted by a priest who is possibly the least priestly of any priest in fiction. Naturally, they do not appreciate his interference but they have competition to see who can harm him the most as a crazed cult tries repeatedly to assassinate him.
Without giving too much away, both parties are unsuccessful but it is quite a ride to see who can top whom in the attempts. It's a quick and entertaining read. I will give it a human cheer.
April 25, 2016
Having initially abandoned this after the first few pages, I returned to it and was glad I did. It reminded me of a 1940s film, with Spencer Tracy playing the street-smart worldly priest who coaches the college basketball team. It has all the trappings of that era - the voluptuous 'femme fatale', the mob, the casual racism, plus a creepy paedophile priest, and scams galore. Also reminded me a lot of the work of Carl Hiassen.
The main female character is a puzzle - a war veteran nurse, who now teaches biology and jumps into bed with numerous men and boys. She is also a loving mother to her young daughter, and bravely wades in to rescue another character more than once, so comes across as likeable and feisty.
The copy I read did have some errors but I would assume these have been corrected prior to the book's release. I did feel that the cover and title could have been better and more suited to the material.
An advance copy was provided by the publisher in return for an honest review.
The main female character is a puzzle - a war veteran nurse, who now teaches biology and jumps into bed with numerous men and boys. She is also a loving mother to her young daughter, and bravely wades in to rescue another character more than once, so comes across as likeable and feisty.
The copy I read did have some errors but I would assume these have been corrected prior to the book's release. I did feel that the cover and title could have been better and more suited to the material.
An advance copy was provided by the publisher in return for an honest review.
April 6, 2015
Thank you to NetGalley for my kindle copy of this book. I admit to struggling with this book. It starts off in a somewhat bizarre fashion where a student who will be attending the university has a conversation with his grandmother, who is an undertaker, whilst she prepares the body of his junior prom date from the previous year. From there we drift into the "mob" bribing both sides of a basketball team to lose, paedophile priests, a shoot out of a college commencement, a nyphomaniac and a car bombing. Pretty much any unusual occurrence you can think of has been thrown into this book! Whilst I only have it two stars because it wasn't my type of book, I can imagine that others would love it.
June 18, 2015
You got your thugs, you got your sports, you got your bawdy sex and hi-jinx. This is not my usual reading genre, and I shouldn’t have liked it half as much as I did. But this slapstick story straight out of nostalgia TV warmed my very heart.
Sure there’s murder, prostitution, exorcism, and a pedophile priest, yet it somehow all comes across as refreshingly wholesome. (It’s a shame that it doesn't come with a pulpy-noir illustration for a cover instead of the mistake-of-a-decision flames thing…)
So grab a box of ritz crackers, crack open a Schlitz, and settle in for a truly entertaining read.
Sure there’s murder, prostitution, exorcism, and a pedophile priest, yet it somehow all comes across as refreshingly wholesome. (It’s a shame that it doesn't come with a pulpy-noir illustration for a cover instead of the mistake-of-a-decision flames thing…)
So grab a box of ritz crackers, crack open a Schlitz, and settle in for a truly entertaining read.
July 28, 2015
I received this book for free. I loved it. It is wacky and fun and sexy. It's the end of World War II and all the vets are coming home with GI Bill money just looking for colleges to go to. Not to be left behind, The College of Saint Cassian is welcoming these veterans and their money. Of course, where there is money to be made, there are folks that want to get there share by whatever means possible and things get a bit crazy. I really enjoyed the characters and felt like this was a great version what Carl Hiassen does so well with Florida, but set in the Northeast. A great and speedy read. Great fun.
March 2, 2016
Thought this was going to be just a spoof of many different segments of our population, veterans, religious organizations, Southerners, New Jersey people and others. A cast of multiple personalities, nymphomaniac, mobsters, and more. A satire with an engaging plot and witty names of people and places and a decent if not quite believable tale of mobsters and monks. A few good chuckles in a light hearted read even with the violence. Definitely worth an evening or two of enjoyment.
April 30, 2015
Given To Me For An Honest Review
A Hoarse Half-Human Cheer by X.J.Kennedy is a book that you will need to get ready to laugh and laugh some more. It is funny, has an air of mystery, and a bit of drama ............ it has a bit of everything. Just put on your seatbelt and enjoy the ride. I recommend this to everyone. I look for more from X.J. Kennedy.
A Hoarse Half-Human Cheer by X.J.Kennedy is a book that you will need to get ready to laugh and laugh some more. It is funny, has an air of mystery, and a bit of drama ............ it has a bit of everything. Just put on your seatbelt and enjoy the ride. I recommend this to everyone. I look for more from X.J. Kennedy.
April 19, 2015
I received this arc from Netgalley.
I really enjoyed reading this book. The humorous parts had me laughing out loud. I hope this author has other books because I will definitely be looking for them.
I really enjoyed reading this book. The humorous parts had me laughing out loud. I hope this author has other books because I will definitely be looking for them.
May 20, 2015
An entertaining attempt at noir comedy set just after the end of WWII. Light reading that sometimes seems to try too hard.
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