You can change where you live, your hairstyle, the kind of music you listen to, your job, your spouse. But you can’t ever change the team you support.
Dr Damien Pearse is a level-headed man. A psychologist, he spends his days encouraging patients to adopt a calmer, more grounded approach to life. And yet on match days all this unravels. He becomes anxious, panicked, sometimes belligerent, and if things go well for Wolves, manically ecstatic. And he is not alone – wander through any British town centre on a Saturday night and watch as the aftershocks of wins and losses spill out into the real world. Football means so much to so many.
Pearse meets with superfans, scientists, players and trolls, uncovering what drives our unwavering obsession with football. Examining ideas of identity, belonging, shame, modern masculinity and the most extreme acts of football fanaticism, Till I Die offers a poignant reappraisal of an enduring national pastime and passion.
Perfect Christmas present material! I really enjoyed this book, and learned a lot about the drivers for some of the the fairly inexplicable behaviour I've seen from my fellow football fans. I'd not come across the concept of being 'fused' to your team (often at an early age) by the shared euphoria of a live game before, but it really resonated with me. I had no idea so many studies had been done on football fandom, and the author has done an excellent job of collating many of them and relating their findings to real life situations and behaviours. It is not a psychology textbook, and it's all the better for it as the author has a very accessible style (a bit John Ronson). Many parts of the book are also genuinely hilarious, such as the theoretical effects of injecting monks with testosterone!
You get taken on a journey you didn’t expect! There is plenty of humour, bucket loads of insights, plenty of learning, difficult and emotive stories and all in the effort to understand devotion to the beautiful game. Beautifully written. Leaves you with a deeper understanding of what being a fan can entail!
I received this book recently and, while not a die hard football fan myself, I throughly enjoyed it. The first few pages had me laughing out loud and got me hooked. it gave me a huge insight and understanding of the passion for the sport. It helped me to better understand people I know who are crazy about the game. I highly recommend this book.
A lot of books have been written about football down the decades, from exhaustive club histories chock-full of statistics and blingy player biographies to glossy picture publications and cup-winning souvenir specials, but few – if any – have tapped into the emotional and psychological make-up of the average football fan as richly and engagingly as this vividly rendered new work by Dr Damien Pearse.
A highly regarded former investigative journalist, Dr Pearse is now a well-established practising Doctor of Psychology specialising in trauma. And a lifelong, diehard Wolverhampton Wanderers supporter, for his pains. In Till I Die, he utilises his considerable writing skills to craft a refreshingly frank, very funny, oddly emotive and sincere deconstruction of what it truly means to be a football superfan. The end result is a creditably accomplished and highly readable exploration of the topic.
Drawing on personal experience and a wealth of interviews, correspondence and anecdotes, Dr Pearse examines the full range of emotional extremes the beautiful game stirs in normally level-headed individuals. Just what is it about 22 men kicking a ball around a field for 90 minutes that catapults a usually equable, even-keeled grown man into becoming an unhinged lunatic, screaming and cursing at a television set as though his life depended on it? That's the question at the heart of this thoroughly entertaining offering.
Following a searingly honest and particularly amusing introduction, in which the author details his own mental unravelling while watching helplessly as Wolves go down 3-1 to Liverpool at Molineux, Part One – The Man Who Punched Jack Grealish – sets the tone for a journey into the souls and psyches of those for whom football really is more than just a game.
Through a rollercoaster series of meetings and encounters with superfans, scientists, players and trolls, Dr Pearse presents a compelling exploration of the reasoning behind the all-too-real football-related ecstasies and agonies experienced by millions of otherwise grounded people the world over. He takes readers on an extraordinary journey that stretches from the streets of Nairobi to the secure wards of Broadmoor Hospital, revealing football's profound impact in ways that are often surprising and deeply moving.
Till I Die examines everything from the tragic deaths of football supporters in Kenya to the way conversations about football help some of Broadmoor's patients overcome isolation and emotional barriers. Along the way, the author reflects on his own experiences of being dismissed online as "not a real fan", speaks with football widows through Mumsnet, and explores the psychology behind fandom, including its links to identity, status, shame, belonging and even bipolar-related symptoms. The result is a fascinating, compassionate and exceptionally well-researched book that demonstrates why football can mean so much more than simply what happens on the pitch.
This is an intelligent, intensely engaging and deeply moving read, using real-life stories to explore the extraordinary emotional power football can hold over people's lives. The writing is colourful, compassionate and compelling, drawing the reader into moments that are by turns fascinating, shocking and profoundly human. Even for those who aren't passionate football supporters, this is a memorable and thought-provoking book that stays with you long after you've finished it.
I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advance copy from the publishers, but for anyone who feels a deep empathy and connection with our nation's favourite sport, Till I Die is a must-have. I can't recommend this magnificent debut highly enough.
I was surprised Pearse used to be a journalist because this book took the form of short, largely distinct chapters with one interviewee or the author's own anecdotes from watching football at home, and there was little of the weaving together of different perspectives that I would consider typical of journalist authors. The result was a sometimes contradictory compendium of opinions, supported by pieces of psychological research.
A lot of research and interviews had been conducted for this book which only increased my reluctance to give it one star, but the mixture of disjointed chapters and facile thoughts meant this was a very frustrating read. It seemed odd that the academic study results were included in the same book as speculative guesses as to what had led individuals to particular behaviours, I would have thought a practicising psychologist would have avoided an approach adjacent to diagnosis from afar. The case studies of individual fans were interspersed with his own experiences, and the retelling of whatsapp chats and family banter was too frequent, and in most cases banal and full of cliche. The cliches also extended to discussion of the football, and I skim read most of these passages to save time.
I can't imagine that Pearse reported every detail and answer from his interviews, but it sometimes felt like it. The reader was introduced to the interviewee on too many occasions, with their appearance and method of the interaction covered more than was necessary. It became formulaic, and the short chapter would end with the conversation, much of the time without any analysis or reflection from Pearse. Then a new chapter on a slightly different topic would follow, along with the steps of arranging and conducting this particular conversation, in a manner that grated quickly. There was little sense of narrative or using multiple examples for a larger point, and so rather than being a book about the fan experience, it was a book about several unrelated fans' experiences, punctuated by dull recounting of trying to source quotes, such as registering on mumsnet and having the thread removed.*
I felt the idea for the book, to get a psychologist to reflect on football fandom, was intriguing. There were still informative sections on pieces of research, but they didn't seem to be woven into the wider themes too much. A new chapter started, or it was related to a fairly repetitive anecdote in which Pearse swore at the TV or his laptop screen. Elements of the book, such as the older Brighton fans reminiscing together, indicated Pearse's journalism past and were more like feature articles, but without a coherent thread (which he'd attempted with Grealish's attacker) and too much uninteresting writing this was a massive disappointment despite some of its honesty. If you wanted an answer to why football means everything, the book by Adrian Chiles recounting a season with fans of West Bromwich Albion would give you a better insight.
*Perhaps this isn't the only registration done in service of this book. There are 12 ARC ratings for the Kindle version of the book, and of the 9 5-star ratings, 7 are from new sign ups to Goodreads, and 3 have em-dashes in the review. Only 2 have any mention of things that are found in the pages of the book rather than general platitudes based on the stated subject matter.
I found this book to be funny, informative, and touching.
I am not a football fan and I don’t even bother watching the World Cup. But football fandom fascinates me. I have often wondered why grown men in particular become so invested in an interest so seemingly childish and trivial. People will literally bankrupt themselves, form violent mobs and neglect their families over their allegiance to a sports club for which they do not even play. What’s more, very often the players are multimillionaire superstars who live in an entirely different world to the fans who worship them. I often wonder what else could be achieved were that energy to be diverted to channels more productive. It is insane to me; yet oddly, I can relate it at a very deep level.
This book explores this mystery through scientific studies and personal stories. The studies are very interesting and blended with stories- including the author’s own. Some of the stories and characters are funny. Others are sad. One is tragic. One is absolutely heartbreaking.
In terms of style, the book has tones of Robert Cialdini, Nick Hornby and Jon Ronson. It’s a very warm book - very ‘human.’ I really appreciated the way the author actually takes to the road to talk to people, from a pub near Glastonbury, to a court room in Manchester, to the slums of Nairobi. The stories and studies are seamlessly interweaved. The chapters are short and tidy, which makes for a good, solid pace.
I found myself wanting to return to the little world contained in the book when I was doing other things. That’s usually a good sign!
This is the book that we football fanatics have been waiting for as it goes a long way to explaining if not always justifying our overwhelming, overbearing and indeed overarching passion or should I say obsession for the game.
Serious, thorough and scholarly yet also laugh out loud funny at times I knew that I could identify with the author right at the start when he identified himself as a teacher of Mindfulness and then described his appalling (to outsiders) behaviour when watching his beloved Wolves sink to yet another defeat.
He ranges far and wide interviewing fellow obsessive fans and health experts trying to explain why football is the overwhelming interest for so many and I found myself nodding away at his conclusions.
His description of the madness, cruelty and group fury of football chatrooms in the wake of yet another defeat was particularly eye opening.
There is sadness too as he investigates the sad fate that befell one of the two Birmingham fans who appallingly assaulted Jack Grealish.
This is a book that all football obsessives should read as it will either make them think again or help them justify their behaviour.
I might try and get my wife to read the perceptive chapter on football widow’s but after reflection maybe I won’t as I want to remain married!
So , full disclosure I actually know the author of this book so when he finished it and I bought a copy out of loyalty I was actually dreading reading it as I pretty much have zero interest in football and was not looking forward to having to read a book about a subject which I thought I would have no interest. However I could not have been more wrong. From the very first may page I was completely drawn in and engrossed in the subject matter. Yes this book is about football but it is also about love , about families , about friendship , about loyalty and most importantly about the human condition , what makes us tick and what drives us. For the first time in a long time. I found myself looking forward to picking up a book again and thinking about it when not reading it. It was very funny in parts as well as honest and at times extremely moving. I could certainly relate to many of the experiences of those Damien spoke about in his book. I was staggered by the amount of research and information that was in the book but was delivered in an accessible way and did not feel like I was reading a psychology textbook. I would recommend this book to anyone that's interested in human beings and if you are also interested in football that isn't added bonus !
So much has been written about the passion and reach of the beautiful game to become the only truly global sport, transcending geography, class, race and gender and be such a unifying and dividing force. So I thought I knew what to expect as I sat down to read this book.
I was pleasantly surprised. This isn’t just another book about football. On his journey the author meets fans across the world to talk about the meaning that football has given to their lives. The accounts that they give are honest, frank and at times deeply poignant and vulnerable accounts of the much wider context of their search for meaning and belonging. The almost confessional nature of the book is a testament to the authors ability to not only connect with his subjects but also to narrate his own personal (at times disturbing) account of his own relationship with football.
I enjoyed the journey with the author immensely and came away both enlightened and amused. A thought-provoking, moving and ultimately uplifting exploration of why football matters—not just as a game, but as a way of making sense of who we are and where we belong.
Perfect Christmas present material! I really enjoyed this book, and learned a lot about the drivers for some of the the fairly inexplicable behaviour I've seen from my fellow football fans. I'd not come across the concept of being 'fused' to your team (often at an early age) by the shared euphoria of a live game before, but it really resonated with me. I had no idea so many studies had been done on football fandom, and the author has done an excellent job of collating many of them and relating their findings to real life situations and behaviours. It is not a psychology textbook, and it's all the better for it as the author has a very accessible style (a bit John Ronson). Many parts of the book are also genuinely hilarious, such as the theoretical effects of injecting monks with testosterone!
Funny, insightful a book for all sports fans Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 2 October 2026 Format: Hardcover This is one of the most insightful books I’ve read in sometime. As a Wolves fan I fully understand the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with supporting our team, as an avid general sports fan this gives a real insight into why we care so much both rationally and irrationally, this is an incredibly well researched book drawing on many experts to try and unravel the psychological mind of the sports fan. With a firm grip on humour but with the obvious ability of a skilled psychologist this book leaves the reader with a better understanding of their own reactions as a fan. A must read for anybody who loves sport.
The frequent pain and occasional joy of being a football fan is captured beautifully in this book. Part-memoir, part-psychological investigation, Till I Die charts a deft course through the absurdities of fandom, and will be tragically relatable to anyone who has seen their team fall victim to a highly questionable VAR call or a last-minute worldie from the opposition.
Reading an advance copy of this book has not helped me to become any more rational or balanced in my relationship with the beautiful game, but at least I have found succour and understanding in these pages. And it's very funny too - highly recommended!
I found this book hilarious and heartbreaking. I'm not a die hard football fan but I was so gripped and moved. Damien Pearse offers a visceral and illuminating insight into what it means to be a football supporter. He beautifully combines personal experiences and expertise to explore the baffling and intoxicating rollercoaster of football fandom. However, what surprised me most was how much deeper this goes into the human psyche and our deeper needs. This book is painfully honest, self-aware, and really informative. It's not often that things make me laugh out loud from reading. Also made me cry and get goosebumps at the end.
"It's the hope that kills you, but not in this case!” Unlike supporting your team, or your country, and finding yourself forever hoping for a good result, with this author, you don't need to worry as you are in exceptional hands, and it delivers on so many levels. It has its base in the football world but taps into all elements of the human condition. It made me laugh out loud, cry, and question and reflect on my own behaviours and attitudes across a surprisingly wide spectrum. It is so cleverly written, weaving threads together throughout its pages like the scribes version of a Tarantino movie! It is a must read, and I don't hope, I know you will not be disappointed!
It’s such a much more narrative read than I was expecting.
If you go in wanting to have a heavy nonfiction deep dive (like me) I think you might be a bit disappointed.
This is more of a reflective football fan biography with some light science.
While I found it moving to think about all the way football does connect people and create family I also wanted to learn more about why it makes people crazy which I’m not sure I got.
You can change your job, you can change your partner, but you cannot change your football team ! Why does football invoke irrational actions from otherwise rational folks ? Very fortunate to have been sent advance copy of this book, a fascinating insight and explanation of the psychology behind our emotional attachment to the ‘Beautiful Game’. I was immediately gripped. The author has such an engaging and relatable writing style, that draws you in and prevents you from putting the book down, almost like he knows you and is chatting to you personally. Fabulous read !
“Fascinating!” Wow! I heard about this book a while ago and have been looking forward to reading it - and the wait was worth every second!! Whether you love football or not, this book is an honest and deeply moving exploration of the psychology of the game and the extraordinary hold it can have over people’s lives. Damien explores the joy, belonging, identity, and friendships that the game can create, but also the darker side — obsession, addiction, violence, rivalry and loss. An incredibly thought-provoking read that will stay with you long after you’ve finished it. More please Damien!!
Till I Die is a fascinating look at the psychology of the football fan, initially via the author's own experiences, before drawing in others' too. It's also a book that makes it very clear to me that, for all I know I'm into football and find myself (alas) emotionally impacted by my team being dogshit, I actually don't take it as seriously as all that. There are stories in this one of fans who identify so strongly with their team that it drives them to act in terrible ways; Pearse does a good job of balancing relating these stories - he doesn't demonise anyone, and he is empathetic towards them, while not excusing the behaviour - and contrasts well with the immediate, tribal and occasionally violent, initial reactions, particularly in online spaces. I do think there could have been a bit more discussion of psychology in this one, but it's less a psychology book in the context of football, and more a football book with a sprinkling of psychology, and that's fine. It's an interesting primer to the topic.