How to Die in the 21st Century: A whole new way to talk about death

by Hannah Gould

The most comforting book about death you'll ever read.

Talking about death won't kill you. Yet in today's world, death remains one of our greatest taboos. As religion declines and rituals fade, we are left without guidance for one of life's only certainties. This book is your handbook for death in the 21st century - a compassionate, practical and surprisingly hopeful guide to understanding mortality.

From cremation to green burials, from grieving a pet to navigating tricky memorial etiquette, anthropologist and death scholar Hannah Gould answers the questions most of us are too afraid to
- Do I really get my loved one's ashes back from the crematorium?
- Can I turn into a tree when I die?
- How do I talk to my parents about end-of-life planning?
- Should I attend my ex's dad's funeral?
- Will I ever stop crying over my dog?

As we enter an era of 'peak death', this book challenges us to stop avoiding the inevitable and instead embrace it as part of a good life. Honest, witty and deeply reassuring, Gould invites readers to confront mortality not with fear, but with curiosity and courage.

If you have ever wondered about alternative funerals, modern grief, sustainable burial options or simply how to begin the conversation about death, this is the book you've been waiting for.

'For a vibrant, full-of-life woman Hannah Gould makes death and dying sound fascinating - if not fun. Her wit and wisdom are intoxicating ... and make you think.' - Ray Martin, journalist and host of The Last Goodbye

'Brilliantly insightful and deeply humane. This book is a much-needed call to open up conversations we've too long avoided about mortality and meaning.' - Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn, co-hosts of the Good Mourning podcast

'Dr Hannah Gould's How to Die in the 21st Century is an indispensable book for anyone who thinks they might die one day, which is everyone. By going through the tips and suggestions presented in these pages, the reality of death will definitely become less daunting for every single mortal living amongst us.' - Dr John Troyer, author of Technologies of the Human Corpse

'Hannah strikes the perfect balance between personal, factual and funny. You will live better after reading this book.' - Annie Louey, comedian and celebrant

'From Barbie to Becker, Hannah Gould bridges the gap between academic death scholarship and everyday experience. This book should inspire provocative - and necessary - conversations.' - Caitlin Doughty, author of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

'A current of curiosity and reverence runs through every one of Hannah's sentences and this encourages us to apply the same in contemplating the rugged terrain of death. Seamlessly blending scholarship, narrative warmth and razor-sharp emotional insight, How to Die in the 21st Century is a book for our times. Hannah gives us the a lucid and accessible read on a subject that - for the most part - is neither.' - Katia Ariel, author of The Life and Deathwork of Ephraim Finch

Genres: Nonfiction

229 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 3, 2026

Reviews

[Hannah Hale · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an only child, as a teacher, as the niece of many LGBTQIA+ people, as a friend, as cousin to a 6 year old dead child; this spoke to me in so many different ways.

I loved that this came with a Melbourne lens, and lasered in on the wellness industry throughout. I also appreciated the upbeat nature of the writing that also doesn’t hold back on the facts.

Finally, I never really thought about life expectancy vs healthy life expectancy - something to ponder for me.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Death is hard. Avoiding it is harder. I initially listened to this as an audiobook but realised half way through that I was going to need a physical copy as well, because it is packed full of such interesting and helpful information. Really well thought out and I was actually inspired, in a strange way! Highly recommend.

[Jessica Daley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting read. Promotes the importance of having difficult conversations surrounding mortality to promote ‘better’ dying practices and more compassion for the dying and those working in death care. Really enjoyed it.

[JessQueen · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to Die in the 21st Century by Hannah Gould

Thanks to the ALC program by @librofm I was had the amazing opportunity to listen to Gould’s work and learn so much about everything that surrounds death. I do believe people need to know, learn and understand what happens to us, as the D word is also part of our lives.

Blurb:

Talking about death won't kill you. Yet in today's world, death remains one of our greatest taboos. As religion declines and rituals fade, we are left without much guidance for one of life's only certainties. This is your handbook for death in the 21st century – a compassionate, practical and surprisingly hopeful guide to understanding mortality. From cremation to green burials, from grieving a pet to navigating memorial etiquette, anthropologist and death scholar Hannah Gould answers the questions most of us are too afraid to ask: – Do I really get my loved one's ashes back from the crematorium? – Can I turn into a tree when I die? – How do I talk to my parents about end-of-life planning? – Should I attend my ex's dad's funeral? – Will I ever stop crying over my dog? Honest, witty and deeply reassuring, Gould invites listeners to confront mortality not with fear, but with curiosity and courage.

My thoughts 💭

This is certainly a 5⭐️ book. There’s nothing that Gould left unsaid. She went for all. The good, the bad and the ugly. Now I do really understand so much about my choices, about my family’s opinions and especially I learnt more about what I want for my body after death. There are a million different things to consider and I do believe it’s healthy to openly talk about it as it lessens the burden to the ones who are left behind. It’s a wonderful, wise and even fun book at some point. I loved this book and I highly recommend it!

[Bill Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspired me to make a death playlist. I found the insights regarding the over medicalisation of death and related stigma in the 21st century fascinating. Western attitudes to this are so perplexing. Devastated I can’t be made into a tree after I die though.

[Karen O'Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very good read

We will all die as will everyone we know and don't know. This book is engaging, knowledgeable and will help you to engage with an inevitable event in all our lives. I loved it.

[Umar Rashid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as depressing as I expected. Learned some interesting things.