Langzaam neem ik afscheid

by Barbara Peabody

Autobiografisch, in pseudo-roman-vorm geschreven dagboek van een vijftigjarige kunstenares die moeder is van een jonge man die aan AIDS lijdt en daaraan sterft. Het verhaal heeft geen andere pretentie dan een authentiek beeld te geven van de veelheid en verscheidenheid van de verschrikkingen die zo een patient en zijn omgeving moeten doorstaan (de verschillende niet of nauwelijks te bestrijden lichamelijke symptomen, zoals diarree, overal infecties en zweren, epileptische toevallen, verlies van het gezichtsvermogen, geestelijke aftaking e.v.a., de problemen bij de herhaalde ziekenhuisopnames resp. de thuisverpleging, de moeilijkheid om het moreel hoog te houden in het gezicht van de naderende dood e.a.); daarin slaagt de schrijfster zeer goed. De medisch relevante gegevens worden, functioneel verweven met de meestal gruwelijke details die de patient en zijn omgeving subjectief beleven, evenzeer informatief als dramatisch, tegelijk totaal onopgesmukt, weergegeven. Het laat zich lezen als een spannende roman; juist het feit dat het zeker niet in de categorie valt, maakt het bijzonder waardevol.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, LGBT

269 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1986

Reviews

[Siep De · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hartverscheurend

[Cody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gutwrenching and incredibly moving, this was the first book written by a caregiver to a person living with AIDS.

[Crystal M · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was pretty disturbing and horrific to read. It’s about a woman whose gay son has full blow AIDS in the 1980’s before the treatments we have today which allow HIV+ people to live a relatively normal life. He is only in his late twenties when he dies after a 2-3 year battle. The book covers his battle in the last year because his mother is caring for him the last year and this is her diary turned into a book. AIDS is a horrific disease and it is a terrible way to die. Because of having such a low immune system AIDS patients are susceptible to any and all infections, bacteria and fungi that exist. Her son gets a severe form of pneumonia twice, a constant fever, ear infection, exhaustion, loss of appetite causing a serious weight loss, has uncontrollable diarrhea the last year, herpes infections in multiple places in his body some being the last places you would want to get herpes, a brain infection which along with the bacteria that causes the diarrhea can’t be identified and treated so only progresses. This causes him to have long violent seizures, confusion, and the inability to walk, talk, or make sense of things at times. He also begins to go blind from herpes in his eyes. He spends the last year in and out of hospital. There is so many infections and viruses AIDS patients are susceptible to and they often have 5 or 6 infections at once making it impossible to ever live a normal life. His mother loves him and cares for him without complaint and I can’t even imagine how difficult it would be to go through that. This book was very sad and made me cry but it was a good book. Thankfully this is not the reality for most people with HIV/AIDS today.

[♥ Marlene♥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

How strong people are when they love or when they have hope.
Sometimes I tell myself if that would happen to me I could not do it but secretly knowing I could and would. Because that is human nature. You keep on pushing boundaries and learn to live with things you never thought you could.
Very touching but also harrowing book. Respect.
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Wat verschrikkelijk.Wat een lijdensweg zeg. Vreselijk. Soms moest ik het boek even weg leggen zo zwaar vond ik het. Barbara Peabody kon dat dus niet. Hoe sterk zijn mensen als er liefde is en hoop.

Soms zeg ik wel eens van als mij dat zou gebeuren dat kan ik niet hoor maar eigenlijk weet je dat je het dan wel kunt omdat je moet. Iedere keer verleg je weer even je grenzen en deal je met dingen.

Dit boek was hier een voorbeeld van.
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[Ernest G.]

I read this book when it originally came out back in the 80's and have never forgotten it even until this day. I remember that period so fondly and all the news stories on AIDS epidemic, having just graduated from High School. Even today their is some mother wanting to scream, or some family members wanting to scream because of a loved one with some form of illness, from AIDS, to dementia, to anxiety, alzheimers, to cancer, you name it we have all been there and wanted to reach that point, or the person suffering wanted to reach that point. This is a book for today's time for any family or friend in need of understanding the journey and struggles of dealing with a sick friend, family member, or spouse.

[Kirsty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely sobbed my heart out reading this. This is the true and perfect expression of a mothers love and how she understands and supports her boy throughout his battle.

I've read a lot of books on this subject, and only this one and Borrowed Time have had such an effect on me.

[Shelly Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book when we found out my brother in law was diagnosed with Aids. I cried through the whole book!!! So many struggle though this horrible disease. Sadly we lost my brother in law Curt.

[Carey · Rating 3 out of 5]

One mother’s account of her son’s last few months living and dying with AIDS at the beginning of the AIDS crisis.

[Joanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most heartfelt book I have ever read. It brought tears to my eyes while looking into the soul of this woman as she documented her struggle with the coping of loss. The tragic reality of a parent outliving their own child, every mother's nightmare. So much fight and determination in her son reminded me of nights spent at my grandfather's side during his hospice care. The feeding, bathing, sheet changing, loss of dignity and will to go on but still getting up each morning to survive a new day. The denial of warning signs, refusal to giving up control, dealing with final wishes. This book really hit home for me.

[Autumn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started out the book pretty closed minded and just about put it down, but I decided to read anyways even though it wasn't my normal read. The first page grabs your attention and is pretty hard to put it down after that. I finished this book in two days and in those two days the book took me on an emotional roller coaster. It was an extremely well written book, and I felt so bad for the mother and for Peter. You quickly grow attached to the mother and son and feel their pain as they are feeling it themselves. I recommend this book to ANYONE. It is very informative about AIDS (which I found out I knew absolutely nothing about) and about the emotions that come with it.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A poignant and heartbreaking book from the mid 1980s, when AIDS was a nightmare and there was too little understanding and support from many patients' families, the media, society at large, or President Reagan. Barbara Peabody cared lovingly for her son Peter and kept a diary of the experience. The title is explained by this passage:

"My God!" exclaims my sister. "I think what the hospital should provide is a screaming room for all of you, a place where you can all go scream your heads off. I don't know how you all live with it." Yes, it probably should. But we carry our screaming rooms inside of us, day and night, week after week.

[Paul Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The love that this woman has for her son was just amazing.I recently lost my Mother to lung cancer and i used this book of Barbra Peabody for strength as i was my mothers primary care giver. i don't think i could have done this for my mother without her and her family so i say thank you very much Barbara.

[Teresa Tipps · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had completely forgotten about this book until I was reading reviews of another book with a similar title....I read this almost 20 years ago, after the death of a very dear friend of mine who died of AIDS. I cried through the whole thing of course as it was like watching David's life slowly slipping away all over again. Beautifully written. Heartwrenching, yet tender.

[Joe Moffa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Touching, straight from the shoulder journal of a mother of one of the first AIDS victims. A heart-wrenching true story which contrasts the pain and suffering of families with the ineffective and uncaring bureaucracies of medicine and politics. What ever your opinion, you will never feel quite the same about the issue again.

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book giving incredible insight into a young man's struggle with AIDS before any effective treatment was available. It is a compilation of his mother's journal entries, so it is an emotional read, as to be expected.

[Gail Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

i read this book several years ago while my family was going thru the exact same thing with my oldest brother as this woman was going thru it with her son...everything she mentioned in this book is what we was going thru...it is in my opinion one of the b est books ever to read...

[Norm · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the first books I read about AIDS. It is haunting and eye opening at the same time. If you can red this book and not faal compation by the end I don't think you can call yourself human.

[Carlol · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is very remarkable. I love this and still remember this though I have read it for ages.