Song Qingshi has lost his memories, and with them the truth of who Yue Wuhuan truly is—yet the two are drawn together all the same. However, something about reality seems…strange. Like Song Qingshi isn’t the only one who’s forgotten something important.
In search of answers, he eventually enters a trial left behind by the legendary sword master Mo Yuan, forced to confront the same fatal mistake again and again. Meanwhile, Demons of Filth rise from the shadows, a devastating plague spreads across the land, and the world itself continues to crumble. But at least Song Qingshi has Yue Wuhuan at his side.
Beneath the corruption and ruin, the ultimate truth lies waiting to surface. Even a being never meant to feel can grow a heart strong enough to defy fate. And a phoenix will always rise from the ashes.
Includes an exclusive new chapter from Feng Yu Nie!
Despite my constant thoughts of wanting the plot to move forward and thinking that certain parts of this volume dragged, this is one of those reads that really made me appreciate those times that it did "drag." It gave us so many scenes that seem so irrelevant, but the details they entail are so vital to the characters and the plot.
(I apologize in advance for the abundant quotes used.)
“Song Qingshi grabbed his hand and emphasized each word. “Wuhuan, I have the memories of a thousand reincarnations…” “Wuhuan, I am living for you.” “Wuhuan, the only one I want to save is you…” “Wuhuan, I will never give up.” “Wuhuan, this is the best opportunity…”
I separate myself from what I read, and I allow myself to see the experiences that the characters are going through like when one watches a movie, as the characters experience something far different from anything I will ever experience. The incredible message this novel carries touched me on a personal level in a way hardly any other story has.
Bear with me as I explain why I find each character so impactful in the story.
First, I'd like to segway a bit and say that it honestly baffles me how people truly don't understand who Song Qingshi is or why he is the way he is. They call him a very ignorant and dull character, but did we actually read the same thing?
The whole point of the big reveal of who he is completely shapes the reasons why he is the way he is, and why little things such as a simple box full of pretty stones and gems are so relevant to the relationship and the bond between the two main characters. (More under the spoilers.)
First message I'd like to point out is: having Qingshi wholeheartedly accept who Wuhuan is as a person and letting him decide the path he wants to walk—supporting his decisions, even being his partner in crime—is exactly the thing that Wuhuan needed in order to break the endless and toxic cycle he himself was trapped in.
Sometimes, as individuals, we need a person who can validate our experiences and walk with us as we find the right path in order to be free from the shackles that bind us to our demons. The demons we unknowingly create end up hurting others and, most of all, ourselves.
To find true freedom, we must learn to let go. Forgiving those who have wronged us is not for the other person—it is for you.
Before I go on to the spoilers, I wanted to bring up the side characters. Another message the author wanted to convey was to empower women who have been stuck in a world run by men for thousands and thousands of years. A world where women were seen as weak and discarded after being used.
“Be brave, don’t be afraid. Don’t you always say that you’ll all work hard and that you won’t lose to those men who look down on women?” Lady Nian took out a handkerchief and one by one, she wiped away the tears from their faces. She smiled, with tears in her eyes. “Today, we women will stand head to head with men. We will let the world see the courage of our female cultivators.”
Not many danmei authors write women well; often they are used as a plot device for humor or simply to bring the characters together. It is not often that you see women portrayed in a truly meaningful way.
Women are strong. Women are compassionate and can see the beauty of the world, and that in and of itself makes a difference—making the world more beautiful.
A third message I feel the author also gave us another amazing example of how trauma victims can bond together, encouraging one another on how to move forward.
“Bai Zihao once again knelt down and thanked him. He asked the question that had been buried in his heart for so many years, “How can I become as brave as you? To no longer be afraid of anything.” Shenjun turned to leave. “Use your own feet, stand up.” Bai Zihao was taken aback. He stood up and quickly followed after him. He no longer needed emotional charity. He no longer needed to depend on others to save him. He would use all his strength and rely on himself to tear open the cage around his heart. He would strengthen his wings, make them large and powerful. Then he would follow closely behind the red shadow. The birds will always be free.”
It's ironic to see how Wuhuan was able to share strength in his words by helping Zihao find freedom, yet he still doesn't see that he himself is shackled to his demons, flying around in the same area.
⚠️Spoiler from here on ⚠️ . . . . . .
Oof... I'm literally still in tears as I'm typing this from how emotional this scene made me because as a victim of abuse, I have experienced very minuscule experiences somewhat similar to those of Wuhuan.
As rewarding as it was to see those scum get what they deserved, being served justice through Wuhuan obtaining his revenge, it still didn't set him free.
My favorite scene:
“Wuhuan, don’t resist.” Song Qingshi grabbed his hand and stopped his movements, begging, “Open your eyes and take a closer look at the world…” One thousand three hundred and fifty reincarnations, failure after failure. He will never let go of this hand…” . . . "He saw many shameless beasts; he saw countless fools who were deceived. But he saw even more people struggling in desperate situations, unwilling to give up on the ones they loved. They helped each other, came to each other's rescue. They lived together and died together; remaining loyal by their sides. He saw people who abided by their promises, people who were determined and steadfast, people who were compassionate... All beings were trapped in darkness, struggling to seek out the light. Just where was the real god? Yue Wuhuan silently watched this world. Song Qingshi stood behind him. Carrying with him all hope, he softly prayed, 'Wuhuan, this world is not so unbearable...' So, come back... Yue Wuhuan slowly walked forward and held up the first soul lamp. Inside was the soul named Xie Que. After three thousand years of torment, it had already grown numb from the pain. Looking at this disgusting soul, the memory of struggling in hell resurfaced in his mind and the stench he was breathing in grew stronger. But these past matters could no longer torture his heart. Yue Wuhuan lightly extinguished this soul lamp, letting the sinful soul turn into nothing, vanishing forever from the universe. Deep inside his heart, there seemed to be a black shackle that was undone. After letting go of his hatred, his soul became free. Yue Wuhuan extinguished the second soul lamp, the third lamp, the fourth lamp... His revenge was over long ago and there was no need to look back. As the soul lamp of memories went out one by one, the chains of hatred fell away. His soul became more and more relaxed, and his pace became more and more brisk..."
For thousands and thousands of years and countless failed attempts, it was Wuhuan who needed to fully trust Song Qingshi—the person he loves the most—that he would not abandon him.
Our little pretty stone and the free phoenix, who once flew by his window as the little stone (Qingshi) stared admiringly at that beautiful bird for thousands and thousands of years prior, are now finally free!
"Eu lhe darei tudo o que você quiser, incluindo mim."
gente, o final dessa história não faz jus ao que ela era e ao que, pra mim, deveria ter sido...
eu achei uma história muito sensível e bonita. consegui sentir o cuidado que a escritora teve ao escrever um personagem como o yue wuhuan, que tem problemas psiquiátricos. me emocionou ver isso sendo tratado com tanto cuidado e de uma forma racional, destacando a importância do acompanhamento psicológico. até esqueci que, no mundo real, tudo isso ainda é um tabu.
o romance entre os dois é muito querido. o que eu mais gostei é que eles se entendiam não só como amantes, mas também como pessoas. eles queriam o melhor um para o outro e trabalhavam por isso. acho que chega muito perto de um romance que eu gostaria de ter... companheirismo acima de tudo...
mas aí cheguei nos 80% e o resto simplesmente parou de fazer sentido. não entendi o que a diva queria com essa história. ela estava perfeita, coesa, bem fechadinha. era um romance de cura, and that's ok. aí, do nada, vieram vários plots dramáticos só pra colocar mais 300 páginas que não adicionaram em nada à história ou aos personagens.
eu odiei muito. ela claramente usou uma faca pra matar um rato.
vou tentar não deixar esse finalzinho afetar meu sentimento pela história, mas olha... foi sofrido, tá!
fico triste porque essa história era facilmente um 5 estrelas. mas a última parte é, no máximo, umas 3... enfim, acho que vou fechar em 3.7, i guess...
3.5 estrellas. Amigos, por fin lo terminé, pensé que nunca lo acabaría.
La verdad, no estuvo tan mal solo... Fue un libro raro y denso, no necesariamente aburrido. Entiendo porqué muchos no entendieron el final. Que fue un poquito una mierda, pero como mis expectativas estaban por el subsuelo, en realidad terminó bien. Todos fueron felices, literalmente, todos. PERO ME HUBIERAN DADO MÁS MOMENTOS DE FELICIDAD. Pasé 4 libros sufriendo, por favor, aunque sea una migaja. Siento que igual estuvo feito que cuando por fin los protagonistas estaban en paz, su relación se centrara en el sexo. Tiene todo el sentido del mundo, pero bueno, denme algo más. Igual no todo fue malo, AMÉ como adoptaron a la serpiente jajsaja. En fin, me alegro de terminarlo, no estuvo tan mal, fue un final decente (para lo que esperaba).