Supera tu pasado: Tomar el control de la vida con el EMDR

by Francine Shapiro

Tanto si hemos experimentado pequeños contratiempos o grandes traumas, todos estamos influenciados por nuestros recuerdos y por experiencias que puede que no recordemos o que no comprendamos del todo. Supera tu pasado ofrece técnicas prácticas que desmitifican la condición humana y dan nueva fuerza a los lectores que deseen tomar las riendas de su vida. Francine Shapiro, la creadora del EMDR (la terapia de Desensibilización Reprocesamiento por medio de los Movimientos Oculares), explica la ciencia del cerebro en palabras que todos podemos entender, a la vez que ofrece ejercicios que los lectores pueden hacer en casa para entender sus respuestas automáticas y conseguir un cambio real.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Health, Audiobook, Counselling

429 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Hester Rathbone · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book for work, about a month after getting trained in how to use EMDR (the psychotherapy technique this book focuses on). This had been on our suggested reading list before the training, but I'm happy that I read it after. A lot of the techniques made much more sense having some basis and training in them.

There are parts of this book that I appreciated as a clinician - particularly in the early chapters, it gives a good sense of what happens that can make past memories and experiences get trapped in our brains and keep us from moving forward. I felt like it gave a lot of really good hands-on exercises that clients can do on their own, and I plan to share the description of how to do the Calm Place activity with clients who are beginning to do the EMDR process with me, so that they have some ability to return to that Calm Place even outside of the office.

However, as the book went on, I found it less and less readable. Around Chapter 6, I started to recognize that the entire book is just chock full of telling other people's experiences with trauma and EMDR. It was like the whole thing just became one long example, with different names and life experiences inserted in every few pages. While one or two examples in a chapter can be helpful, this many were just excessive. It started to just feel like one long sales pitch - "see how many people EMDR has helped? It's magical, do it yourself and you'll see!" I understand giving some examples and even trying to fit in lots of different ones to help clients hopefully recognize stories similar to their own experiences...but it really went over the top. I basically just started skimming after awhile to see if each page was just another example or actually contained useful information.

For that reason, I would only recommend and share certain parts of this book with clients. No one needs to hear this many survivor stories, least of all people who are still sifting through their own traumas and might be triggered by hearing so many other tales.

[Morgan Blackledge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Getting Past Your Past is about trauma, PTSD and an exciting (if controversial) treatment modality (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) that reportedly gets very rapid, very dramatically effective results where other trauma treatments fail.

I have mixed feelings about this book. It's such an important subject. I have a very positive personal experience with Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). But it's not (in my humble opinion) very well written. So I didn't find it to be a very pleasurable read. But what ever. It's still a very useful book. Particularly if it gets people who need it into treatment.

WARNING:

This review is going to be ridiculously long. I'm going to start from way back and take it all the way home. So consider your self informed and continue at your own risk.

The real subject of the book is psychological trauma. But what (exactly) is trauma, why do we have it, what causes it, when is it a problem and how do we treat it.

Those are all questions I will try to address (because I'm not so sure the book really addressed these issues so well). But first let's strip the issue down to the roots.

Trauma is largely an issue of emotional dysregulation. In order to understand trauma, we need to understand emotions.

What Are Emotions and What Are They For?

It's a strange question that doesn't get asked nearly enough. I teach an undergraduate affective psychology course. I ask that same question before every lecture.

I have a three word answer that I make my students repeat every single class. They roll their eyes after week 12, but you'd be surprised how many of them don't get it right, even after 16 weeks of repetition, personalization, elaboration and systematic recall.

The answer is:

Emotions are for Survival and Reproduction.

Maybe not exclusively, at least not for humans, but primarily, yes, even for humans.

Allow me to explain.

The Evolution of Emotion Research:
Not many people know this but Charles Darwin was fascinated by emotions. He applied the theory of evolution via natural selection to the study of emotions in his aptly titled 1872 work, The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals.

He proposed that much like other traits found in animals (including humans), emotions evolved to serve adaptive functions.

Just like (almost) every other evolved trait (excluding evolutionary spandrels like belly buttons etc.) emotions were evolutionarily conditioned and conserved based on the adaptive advantages they bestowed i.e. based on their use value in the survival and reproduction game.

According to modern evolutionary theory, different emotions evolved at different times.

Primal emotions, such as fear and anger are associated with ancient parts of the brain (e.g. the amygda and associated limbic processes) and almost certainly (like 99.9% certainly) evolved in our pre-mammal ancestors.

Feelings (and/or instincts) of fear and anger elicit safety seeking behavior e.g. the startle response, running in terror and becoming enraged and aggressive in response to a threat (to your parking spot).

Pretty much all animals are equipped with some sort of safety seeking and threat response action patterns.

That doesn't mean that all animals "consciously experience" what we refer to as emotions. We don't really know if the do or not (there's still a debate going about that). But even lizards and stuff have these types of hard wired acton patterns.

Bonding emotions, such as a mother's love for her offspring, and the drive to pair bond (i.e. keep it together boyf and grilf style) seem to have evolved among early mammals.

Lizards and reptiles don't really bond with each other and they don't bond with their offspring. Not like mammals do anyway. They don't need to. Their babies survive either way.

Mammal babies need nurturing loving care in order to survive in their early developmental period.

Particularly human babies, who, let's face it, are pretty fucking incapable of taking care of themselves for their first 47 years of development (if one were to use myself as an example).

One theory posits that mammals (particularly humans) evolved such powerful bonding emotions (out of sheer necessity), that we can even bond with animals outside of our species.

Everyone has seen the YouTubes of the duck that raised a kitten. Nonhuman interspecies bonding happens. But no where near like it does between humans and their pets.

My wife and I literally refer to our dog as "the baby". That's not normal outside of humans (and frankly, it's pretty lame even amongst humans, but that's how we do).

Social emotions, such as guilt and pride, evolved among social primates (particularly humans).

WARNING:

Don't make the mistake that a lot of people do and think that the evolutionarily older emotions and the brain structures that produce them dominate the evolutionarily newer ones.

They don't.

If you're prone to mechanical analogies.

Think about an engine. If you want to rent somebody a truck, but you don't want them to go over the speed limit, you can put a governor on the engine that limits the maximum speed.

So, The engine comes first (It's older), the governor is added on second (it's newer or more recent) but the governor dictates the maximum speed of the vehicle.

Even the bossest 450 hp 5.7 Hemi will top out at 55mph if the governor is set there.

Analogously, sometimes, a more recently evolved part of the brain moderates an older part of the brain, such as when the evolutionarily recent prefrontal cortex (associated with prosocial emotions and flexible behavior) moderates the amygdala's fear response (associated with aggressive affect and inflexible behavior).

Evolutionary psychologists consider human emotions to be best adapted to the life our ancestors led in nomadic foraging bands.

It was more important for human survival to cooperate than anything else.

So sometimes love actually does win.

Or, if you're a fiscal conservative, rational self interest is sometimes best served by nonzero sum strategies.

So, to reiterate:

Emotions are for......

SURVIVAL and REPRODUCTION

Or in other (maybe nicer) words, emotions are there to keep us SAFE and CLOSE

Emotional Conditioning:

So, we talked about how emotional traits were selected and conserved evolutionarily for their adaptive benefit to the species overall survival and reproduction.

But there's much more to the story than that.

Emotional traits can also become conditioned by an individual's culture, environment and life experiences.

In other words. Part of our emotional experience is hard wired, the rest of it is learned. That's right, learned.

Learning Theory:

Pavlovian (classical) Conditioning:
Refers to the way a neutral stimuli can become associated (paired) with hard wired responses.

For Example:
We don't come out of the baby factory being afraid of guns. We do come out of the baby factory afraid of (a) loud noises (b) people in anguish (c) hostile facial expressions and vocalizations (d) things other people are afraid of and don't forget (e) death and violence.

So when, as young people, we are exposed to the otherwise neutral stimuli of a gun, we're not afraid, but over time, being exposed to experiences and/or media images of hostile people shooting other people and seeing them die, you develop a fear response to guns, sometimes even when there not loaded or pointed at you.

Operant Conditioning:
Refers to the way our behavior is selected and conserved based on rewarding or punishing consequences.

I remember when my daughter didn't understand what money was. I would give her a dollar and she would loose it, or color on it. It just wasn't a reward for her yet.

Later in life, she learned what that stuff could do for a person and pow. Money became very associated with reward.

After that, she would do chores and stuff for small monetary rewards. She would also avoid breaking rules in order to avoid the punishment of having her allowance docked.

In this way, her behavior was shaped by these rewarding and aversive experiences. Her behavior was selected based on its consequences.

My point is, some of our emotional responses are innate, and some are shaped by our life experiences.

Nature provides the rough draft, nurture (in the form of experiences and consequences) finishes the book.

But back to the the subject of trauma. Almost all species of animal learn via classical and operant conditioning.

But not all animals get PTSD or anything like it. Pretty much only people do. Other kinds of animals experience a near death attack from a predator, and just bounce back shortly after the episode. They literally shake it off.

People can get stuck if the state of trauma. They can be haunted by intrusive memories of the event. They can be triggered to relive the traumatic experiences by seemingly unrelated stimuli.

What gives?

Relational Frame Theory (RFT):
RFT is a theory of learning that asserts that language adapted animals (humans) display a qualitatively different type of learning than other animals.

RFT argues that the building block of human language and higher cognition is 'relating', i.e. the human ability to create links between things.

Check this out:

Roses are red, violets are _________

Mary had a little_________

Go______ your self you ________mother_____er

If you grew up in the USA, I didn't need to finish these sentences. You finished them for me. It happened automatically.

People fill in the blanks.

We take take that for granted. But it turns out to be a fundamental feature of how people think and feel.

We also make cognitive and emotional connections.

When I say milk, what comes to mind?

Probably a large network of words, mental images and memories and emotions like:

MILK - chocolate - sweet
|
cow - farm - farmer - tractor
|
white - creamy - ice cream
|
cereal - coco puffs - breakfast

Each of these nodes are linked and associated.

In this network there is a not so distant connection between chocolate and tractor.

It seems kind of random, but it's not.

Chocolate and Tractor are related.

Many on the nodes are connected to other networks of association.

TRACTOR - my dads tractor - my dads farm
|
big tires - monster trucks - rednecks
|
combine - farm accident - the time I saw __

So now we have tractor associated with my dads farm, rednecks and the time I saw ______, maybe someone get injured in a farming accident.

So, in this particular network, milk and a memory of a terrible farming accident are linked.

Let's say the terrible farming accident was really disturbing. You were a child when you saw it. And you never had a chance to fully make sense out of the experience.

Maybe, even as an adult, years later, every time you sit down for breakfast, you run the risk of triggering the unprocessed memory of the accident. And now, instead of sitting down for a morning meal with your children, at least part of your attention is consumed by the haunting memory.

That could be a problem no?

As I mentioned previously. Emotions are for keeping us CLOSE and SAFE. But sometimes our conditioned responses to extremely distressing life experiences can keep us alive in one context, but become problematic and even dangerous in other contexts.

For instance:
Becoming conditioned to be "hyper-vigilant" (very fearful and alert to any sign of danger) may keep you alive in a combat situation. But staying stuck in that hyper-vigilant state may become problematic when you return home to safety.

Fight or Flight, Rest and Digest:

The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) is a division of the peripheral nervous system (the nervous system outside your brain) that acts largely unconsciously and automatically to regulate bodily functions such as heart rate, digestion and respiratory rate.

The autonomic nervous system has two branches (1) the Sympathetic Nervous System and (2) the Para Sympathetic Nervous System. They essentially function like the gas and breaks on your car to rev you up or slow you down.

More technically, the (1) the Sympathetic Nervous System "up-regulates" your body and the (2) Para Sympathetic Nervous System "down-regulates" your body, and the two systems work together to keep you at an appropriate level of tension for the situation at hand.

The Gas Peddle:

The (1) Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) is the primary mechanism in control of the fight-or-flight response and the freeze-and-dissociate response.

This is your bodies emergency threat response system. When there is a real or perceived threat, the body garners its resources to either attack, run away or freeze up like a dear in the headlights, or (if it's really bad) pass out i.e. play dead like a possum.

In a dangerous (or perceived to be dangerous) situation, the SNS "up-regulates" your body by:

• increasing heart rate and blood pressure
- heart pounding

• increasing respiratory rate
- shallow rapid breathing and even hyperventilating

• decreasing digestive processes
- that stomach in a knot, pants shitting feeling
-you don't need to digest lunch if you're about to be somethings lunch

• withdrawing blood from extremities
- cold hands and feet

• reduce immune function
- stress can make you sick

All of these effects should be commonly recognizable to anyone who has ever been in danger or felt anxiety.

In extreme cases like life threatening emergencies or panic attacks, the Fight, Flight or Freeze effects can get so rad i.e. the body can becomes so up-regulated, that people can experience:
• tunnel vision
• loss of hearing
• inability to verbally communicate
• slow motion time perception
• paralysis
• involuntary defecation and urination

The Break Peddle:

The (2) Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) is the primary mechanism in control of the rest and digest response and the tend and befriend response.

This is like your bodies rest and repair mode. When there is no real or perceived threat, the body garners its resources to repair muscle tissue, fight off disease, digest food and tend to relationships.

In a safe situation the PNS "down-regulates" your body by:

• decreasing heart rate and blood pressure
• decreasing respiratory rate
• increasing digestive processes
• increasing circulation in extremities
• increase immune function

Again, these two branches of the Autonomic Nervous System work together to maintain appropriate levels of action readiness (tension) for the situation at hand. Much like the gas and breaks on your car work together to keep you at the right speed for the road conditions (ideally).

All of these SNS and PNS reflexes helped keep your ancestors alive in their natural environment, what modern evolutionary theorist referred to as the Environment of Evolutionary Adaptation (EEA)

But problems occur when (a) contemporary stressors (email, traffic, taxes) chronically activate the stress response, or (b) highly traumatic experiences condition our threat response to be overly active.

Psychological Trauma:
Refers to a particularly high intensity threat response to a real or perceived danger, that floods the nervous system with so much energy, that the person experiences residual effects e.g. flashbacks, intrusive disturbing memories or thoughts, emotional dysregulation etc. even after the stressor has diminished.

Vulnerability to psychological trauma is influenced by a wide variety of biological, psychological and social factors.

Trauma is most frequently caused by experiences that involve being, or seeing someone else being intentionally harmed by another person.

Examples include: harassment, sexual abuse, being the victim of child abuse or witnessing domestic violence as a child and of course, prolonged exposure to active combat situations.

Long-term exposure to situations such as extreme poverty or milder forms of abuse, such as verbal abuse may also lead to psychological trauma.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 5 (DSM 5) Cite a list of diagnostic criteria for PTSD. It's way too huge to list here. Google it if your curious or if you suspect you or a loved one may have PTSD.

EMDR is a trauma and PTSD treatment developed by Francine Shapiro.

EMDR focuses on processing unresolved traumatic experiences.

If your traumatic past is emerging into the present due to triggering circumstances and you are "re-living" or "re-experiencing" the event in the sense that your body is having a threat or stress response that is disproportionate to the actual situation at hand, than EMDR considers that memory "unprocessed".

If the unprocessed traumatic memory is causing impairment at home, work, school, in relationship or in some other domain such as substance dependence, than it is clinically significant than you may wish to consider getting treatment.

If, after treatment, the same memory does not significantly dysregulate your emotions and no longer represents a source of impairment in your life, than EMDR considers that memory processed.

According to Shapiro, "when a traumatic or distressing experience occurs, it may overwhelm normal coping mechanisms. The memory and associated stimuli are inadequately processed and stored in an isolated memory network".

The goal of EMDR therapy is to process these distressing memories, reducing their long lasting effects and allowing the person to develop more adaptive coping mechanisms.

The process of EMDR essentially involves having the client recall traumatic memories and then subjecting the client to "bilateral stimulation" which can be accomplished in a number of ways, but is essentially any brief stimuli that alternates between left and right. e.g. alternating clicking noises in a stereo audio, or tracking a target with eye movements left and right.

The the client reports the next image or memory or association that come to mind (see RFT above). If there is an unprocessed traumatic memory in the network of associations, EMDR attempts to bring it up, and utilize the biomechanics of dreaming (REM sleep) to encode the memory into longterm memory, so that it is "just a memory" rather that a repeatedly relived experience".

I know it sounds kinda crack head. But if administered by a trained clinician, it can produce some pretty dramatic results.

It's very common for people to report dramatic reductions in PTSD symptoms after one or two sessions.

My personal experience with EMDR was very positive. But that's different than proof. It's just an anecdote.

As I mentioned, EMDR is controversial, but the good news is EMDR has been found to be effective in numerous randomized placebo controlled trials (RCT).

Anyway. Get the book I guess. It's pretty good. But get the treatment if you need it. That's the really good really important thing.

Don't suffer needlessly.

3.75 stars for the book.

5 stars for EMDR

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I usually don't really like self-help books very much, but a friend recommended this to me after we had a conversation about EMDR therapy. It's a very interesting idea. Francine Shapiro discovered that traumatic experiences often caused problems for people down the line because they had been improperly processed - instead of storing them so that they could be used as a learning experience and placed within a healthy context, the trauma overwhelmed the brain's typical processing system. She also discovered that by stimulating each side of the brain - either with alternating taps, lights, or tones - these memories could be pulled back out and 're-processed,' allowing the victim to look at them in a healthier and more productive way.

Though it's still in the fairly early stages of testing, it seems to have really helped a lot of people, particularly those suffering from some form of PTSD. The first two chapters are fascinating. The book as a whole, though, gets a little tedious after a while. Shapiro doesn't devote much time to why this works, or any of neuroscience behind it. And after the first 50 or so pages, it's really just lots and lots of 2-3 page case studies. Some of them are interesting and most are pretty moving, but they almost all follow the same pattern: Person A is unhappy in their current life because of problem B; EMDR lets them trace Problem B back to Memory C, and reprocess the memory into a healthier context. There's really not much reason for this to be a 300 page book, and it drags after a while. And I wish more attention was paid to why something like this would work, and what is means for psychology going forwards.

[Sarah Goodner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've spent nearly my entire adulthood in therapy, trying to get past the first 15 years of my life. If someone had introduced me to EMDR 30 years ago, I think my path might have been much different. I could have skipped the painful self-sabotaging addictions, multiple divorces, always choosing the wrong men, etc., etc. This shit is like magic. Seriously. It's so simple, it seems stupid. But it WORKS.

So many of my triggers are gone now, neatly put away on a shelf in their proper order and importance rather than hanging around my neck like a cow-bell, waiting to ring mercilessly at the slightest movement. It's such a relief to not go through life over-reacting because something with my current relationships reminded me of something I never healed in my past.

[Meg Kimball · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is horrible.

I only read a little before bailing. The author's tendency to justify abusive actions was triggering to me, and I hoped and prayed that I was imagining things, but another reviewer here said the same thing. For example, a little boy's mom grabbed him and started spanking him because he was near the top of the stairs and wanted to chase a ball down. The author bends over backward to tell us that this wasn't abusive, and that the boy didn't grow up in a violent environment, so it's all okay. So... if we spank our kids fiercely but are otherwise nonviolent, that's fine...? Really?

For those of us who were physically abused, can I just say that such recurring rationalizations are upsetting? "She just kept spanking him, but, oh! She was a loving and gentle mother."

And then there was the time when a little girl was in the car when her dad died in a car wreck. (The girl survived.) She called up her mom at her therapist's behest and asked if she really was in the car that day. Her mom said, "Yes, you were. I'm sorry. It seemed as if you never wanted to discuss it. I figured you'd gotten over it already." [Facepalm.] Epic parental fail. Are you kidding me? The mom couldn't have gotten her kid some therapy or talked to the school guidance counselor, or something? The author immediately and instantly glosses over that, too, saying that the parent meant well, so no big deal. But in this day of psychological awareness, that's ludicrous. This keeps happening throughout the book. The author says there's no good in blaming people for being imperfect. Um. So many thoughts. So many feels. So much disappointment. Can I spank the author? I'm normally nonviolent, so it'll be okay.

The other major disappointment is that the book's title says, "Take control of your life with self-help techniques from EMDR therapy" and I quote, but all throughout the book, the author says, "Oh, too bad; you need a therapist to do this stuff." I'm sorry, but that's a flagrant case of false advertisement. You can't be more dishonest than that. It reminds me of a book I saw at the bookstore once years ago. It claimed to hold within its pages the secrets of life, all the answers, everything you've ever wanted to know and then some. Flipping through it, I discovered that it was a blank book. Hey, at least that was amusing. There's no excuse for this book's misleading title, though.

So I was hoping for self-help tips, but what I got were case studies (complete with the "let's not blame anyone" attitude), and the case studies all depressed me and made me feel bad for the other people in question. That didn't help me at all.

Epic fail.

[Rose Boyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like this book a lot and am going to read it again. The issue I had in the beginning was the occurrence of disturbing thoughts that came up by attempting to use the techniques. After getting a therapist and working through unprocessed memories I was able to return and read the rest of this book. It was a little over two years later. I wouldn't actually recommend this book to anyone who knows they have significant trauma. I would suggest figuring out a way to get therapy first. Today I am in a healthy state of mind and am interested enough to revisit the first part of this book.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

301 pages.
This is a very helpful book. Took lots of notes.

[ali wynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

A little repetitive, but a really nice “beginner” tool for those wanting to learn more about EMDR!

[Amy Katherine Wolff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book very interesting. While I have had some sessions of EMDR and found those sessions to be successful, and reading this book helped me further understand EMDR, it raised questions for me too.

The way EMDR is presented in this book makes it sound like it is a basic "cure-all". It almost sounds too good to be true. This is where I become conflicted, as I have benefited personally from EMDR therapy, but I've found myself (as I read the book) emailing my counselor (who is trained in EMDR therapy) with additional questions about EMDR and whether or not it could be of further use for me.

While the book did contain many "self-EMDR" therapies, I think one really needs to be careful treating themselves. I say that because if there has been some real trauma that has gotten "buried" and this brings it to the surface, I would question how much an individual could handle. I know for me, having a trusted, trained person with me as the unprocessed and painful memories surfaced was critical to my being able to properly process them and benefit from the EMDR.

It is certainly worth reading for anyone interested in counseling, therapy, psychology, psychiatry or even how our brains work. It is an amazing therapy technique that the author "discovered" many years ago practically accidentally. But she seems to have discovered something that has been a benefit to many!

[Molly Lyon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Some of Shapiro’s techniques are pretty great, if seemingly a little “hippy-ish” on the surface. Her issues lie not in her technique but in how regularly apologetic she is on behalf of abusers and perpetrators. There is very few people that don’t understand that there were likely moments in their lives that led them down such a negative, destructive path, but KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. People are buying this book for help, therefore they are a victim, and don’t need your apologetic towards rapists drivel.

I’d usually consider a self help book with good technique but questionable morals and ethics to be maybe 2/3 stars, but I can’t help but worry about those that pick this book seeking help and end up triggered by her support of perpetrators.

[Tony Zhang · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high expectation to this book before reading. However unfortunately I was disappointed after reading it over. Other than some useful "self-care" techniques, though not EMDR itself but still useful, most of the book is full of stories like "after unprocessed memories are processed by EMDR, the symptoms are gone". It gets very repetitive with all similar stories of similar kind. Throughout the book, I've been trying to understand how EMDR works, what each of eight stages of EMDR entails etc., but found nothing I wanted. I'll have to look for other books\articles to understand EMDR mechanisms.

[Ryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for work and it was interesting and inspiring. Lots of case studies. Some would argue, too many case studies. it's bit hard to believe that EMDR could be this much of a cure all, because as we know from the seminal podcast Saw Bones, "cure alls cure nothing." However, I believe this approach has helped many, and I find that the techniques are helpful to me.

[Ali Hussein · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting book. Surprising to see how even the smallest childhood memories can remain unprocessed within us and subconsciously harm us for many years. Highly recommend everyone to read this book.

[Tanja Berg · Rating 3 out of 5]

The stars is a reflection of the book, and not on EMDR therapy. EMDR is short for “Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing” by bilateral stimuli that mimics REM sleep. When you process painful memories this way, your mind will desperately and automatically search for positive connections so that you reprocess it to be less distressing.

I’ve recently had some sessions and processed two episodes from about 20 years ago that were stuck in “fresh mode”. Every time I thought about it - I will not go into details, but it involved the violent deaths of loved ones - I would feel as intensely as when it transpired. It worked for me. That is, professional EMDR therapy worked, not this book.

The book gives insight to the method and endless examples and self help techniques. It’s interesting, but it gets repetitive and I don’t think it’s useful in self help. Sure you get insight into how your past, even things you have consciously forgotten, can influence the pattern of your responses today. There are also tips on how to find your sore spots. It’s just no where close to what a professional can do.

Rather than talk endlessly and dwell on your past, EMDR requires much less time and you don’t actually have to say that much. You don’t need this book to find the essentials and evaluate whether this might be good for you, just google.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is perfectly titled, as the book provides exactly what it states. EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing and is a technique that has helped numerous people discover their unprocessed memories and learn to store them in a way that is no longer damaging. According to the author, the average individual has between ten to twenty unprocessed memories that are the source of our problems. Because these memories were never fully processed we still react to them with the same "emotions, beliefs, and physical sensations that were there at the time of the earlier traumatic experience". This book aims to help you identify these memories and process them with a variety of unique methods and techniques. Numerous anecdotes and examples are discussed. I found most of these to be on the extreme end, but this method will work equally well for less traumatic memories as well. Addiction, assault, bullying, and domestic issues are all touched upon. I think this method provides a very realistic and doable way to help solve any issues you are dealing with. It might not provide a full cure, but it will at least help you identify and understand your problems which is always a good first step to a solution.
Disclosure: I received a free copy from Rodale Books in exchange for a free and unbiased review.

[Tammy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd never heard of EMDR Therapy until my doctor recommended this book to see if it would help with some problems in my past.

This book explains what EMDR Therapy is. It gives techniques to try at home and has examples of people who have had done it successfully. It was interesting to see that it doesn't have to be a traumatic childhood experience to have a negative affect on your adult life. It becomes traumatic based on how you stored it in your brain at the time.

Excerpts from the book:
The same mind/brain processes that allow us to recognize a rhyme, or sing along with a tune we haven't heard in 20 years, are the ones that also drown us in the misery of anxiety, depression, heartache, and at times, physical pain.

EMDR therapy targets the unprocessed memories. By activating the brain's information processing system, the old memories can then be "digested" (stored in a way that is no longer damaging).

Memories that have been processed are transformed into learning experiences. Unprocessed memories can still have a negative effect on the present.

[Jerry Lane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really amazing that she's unveiling so much. In fact I'm surprised that she's telling this much. However she does a good job of informed consent I think recommending seeing a therapist for people who experience discomfort or distress when doing some processing on their own. There is some concern that not everyone will be able to find a trained clinician however. As a newly trained clinician this has helped solidify my experience though.

[Alvin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was required reading for an EMDR course I’m about to take. I’m still skeptical but looking forward to include this as a part of my practice. The book has a good overview about trauma and EMDR and lays out good arguments and support. The examples were helpful but I felt there were way too many.

[Wendy LaCapra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Years of therapy are behind me, but on occasion I still find myself neck deep in oppressive anxiety. I first read about EMDR in The Body Keeps the Score and wanted a deeper understanding. I wish I had found this book years ago. This is an excellent book full of helpful suggestions.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

The major thesis of this book is that unprocessed memories are the cause of most mental health concerns. Shapiro gives helpful exercises to explore the connections between troubling memories and associated pain, with a goal of replacing the pain with feelings of safety and helpful thoughts. I don’t like the miracle-cure language that’s used throughout the book (e.g., symptoms “disappear, never to return”) but I also think the techniques of EMDR hold real potential and I look forward to training in it someday. If you like case examples and want to try some of the memory work on your own, read this and see what you think.

I want to note that there is an extremely short section on race in this book and it is WAY off the mark. It almost made me one-star the book. If she is so off on that subject, I worry what it means for the rest of it. I don’t want to support white supremacist therapies, and I also don’t want to all-or-nothing my way out of something helpful. Commencing research on racism and EMDR…

[Jaclyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

It explains emdr more in depth and gives studies to help prove it works. I listened to it and want to own the physical copy so I can go back and look at charts and other things she suggests we do.

[Lauren Kerstell]

leila todd said this is her number one book recommendation. in leila todd we trust 🫡

[Payton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good read for therapy girlies! Had to read for my EMDR training - super helpful but I’m ready to get back to some juicy bedtime stories!

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely detailed and gives me an enormous amount to think about, as well as tools I could use on my own and substantive commentary on what I should take to therapy.

The thing is that it's just too insanely optimistic about how much EMDR can be useful for. I reserve the right to come back here and

Also, probably not a great pick for an audiobook. Way too much in the way of exercises to try on your own sometime OTHER than driving a company truck through rural Missouri to go log soil.

[Paige · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was required reading for a training program at work. It's easy to read and very accessible. I tried some of the exercises and found them helpful. This book probably deserves a higher rating just for that, but after the first few chapters it really started to feel like just a huge advertisement for EMDR. Story after story after story about how EMDR magically cured people of the worst mental health problems in the world. I know some people buy into EMDR and some think it's garbage. I personally have worked with enough clients before and after doing EMDR (and plenty who have never done it) to think that it is very effective. This book is good for the lay person who wants to explore that or maybe set a foundation of coping skills for themselves or explore some potentially formative memories without or before attending therapy. There's a lot in this book that's helpful. But, I don't know, eventually it got to where all the anecdotes were more just like an extended infomercial for EMDR than things that actually illuminated a point.

[Tami · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Shapiro is the founder of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy. This form of therapy looks at the events that cause specific emotional or physical reactions and traces these triggers back to the root cause. Then, using guided imagery, these unresolved events are processed.

EMDR Therapy is surprizing simple but the effects are phenomenal. It’s interesting to see how an unprocessed childhood memory, trauma, or simple misunderstanding can lead to unhealthy patterns and unhappiness. What’s really amazing though is tracing those reverberations to the original incident and releasing that hold in a matter of minutes. Moreover, the same techniques can be used to cope with intense emotion and difficult trigger situations.

[Cindy Mccoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended to read before first time EMDR session. Easy read and the excercises were helpful. I learned about myself. I had to take breaks from reading because my thoughts were overwhelmed with memories and feelings.

[Patricia Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this as an assignment since I am about to start EMDR therapy to treat my PTSD. I am looking forward to some relief. I was already able to implement some of these techniques to address triggers.

[Jung · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy" by Francine Shapiro delves into the profound impact of unprocessed memories on our present experiences and behaviors. The book introduces the concept of unprocessed memories, which continue to affect us long after the original experiences have passed. Francine Shapiro explores the connection between these memories and our emotional responses, offering insights into how our brains store and process information. Shapiro discusses the potential of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to effectively address these unresolved memories, leading to a profound transformation in one's emotional and behavioral patterns.

Shapiro highlights how unprocessed memories, particularly those from childhood, can continue to influence our perceptions and reactions in adulthood. She emphasizes the role of EMDR therapy in targeting these memories, allowing individuals to reprocess and integrate them with more adaptive information. Through engaging case studies, the book illustrates how individuals have successfully overcome traumatic experiences and negative self-perceptions by effectively processing their memories using EMDR therapy. Moreover, the book provides readers with practical self-monitoring and self-control techniques, such as the butterfly hug, to manage emotional distress in their daily lives. These techniques are designed to promote a sense of empowerment and control over one's emotional state, enabling individuals to effectively navigate triggering situations and experiences.

Shapiro further explores the intricate connection between the mind and the body, emphasizing how unresolved traumatic memories can manifest as physical symptoms or psychosomatic conditions. By employing EMDR therapy, individuals can address these underlying traumatic memories, leading to a reduction or resolution of their physical symptoms. The book underscores the transformative power of EMDR therapy in enabling individuals to overcome deep-seated emotional and physical distress, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and empowered life. In addition, the book delves into the impact of unresolved memories on one's relationships, highlighting how unprocessed experiences can contribute to destructive patterns in personal connections. Shapiro provides guidance on cultivating effective communication skills, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering mutual understanding in relationships. By addressing and processing these underlying memories, individuals can develop healthier and more fulfilling bonds with their loved ones.

Through practical exercises and techniques, Shapiro empowers readers to identify and process their core memories, paving the way for healing and growth. By encouraging readers to confront and reprocess their painful memories, the book promotes a journey of self-compassion and personal transformation. "Getting Past Your Past" serves as a valuable resource for individuals seeking to understand the profound impact of unprocessed memories on their lives and discover effective techniques for healing and personal growth.

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While this book offers insights into the impact of unprocessed memories and the potential benefits of EMDR therapy, there are some reasons it might receive a lower rating of 2 stars:

1. Lack of Depth: Some readers might find that the book lacks in-depth exploration of certain concepts related to EMDR therapy and the complexities of memory processing. The book may not sufficiently delve into the underlying psychological theories and research supporting the efficacy of EMDR therapy, leaving readers seeking a more comprehensive understanding disappointed.

2. Limited Practical Application: While the book introduces self-monitoring and self-control techniques, some readers might find that the practical applications are limited in scope. The book could be criticized for not providing a sufficiently diverse range of strategies for addressing and managing emotional distress, leaving readers looking for more comprehensive and practical guidance on coping mechanisms dissatisfied.

3. Overemphasis on EMDR Therapy: The book might be seen as overly focused on promoting EMDR therapy as the primary solution for addressing unresolved memories, potentially neglecting alternative therapeutic approaches and self-help techniques that could also be beneficial. Readers expecting a more balanced and holistic perspective on emotional healing and personal growth might feel that the book's emphasis on EMDR therapy is too narrow.

4. Insufficient Engagement: Some readers might feel disconnected from the material due to a lack of engaging storytelling or relatable anecdotes. The book could be criticized for failing to effectively connect with readers on an emotional level, making it difficult for individuals to fully resonate with the presented concepts and apply them to their own experiences.

5. Organization and Structure: The book's organization and structure might be seen as confusing or disjointed, leading to difficulties in following the author's arguments and key points. Readers expecting a more coherent and logical flow of information may find the book challenging to navigate, resulting in a less than satisfactory reading experience.

[Colette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good book fro the lay person on an introduction to EMDR concepts and how we respond to and heal from trauma.