A Hymn to Life: Shame Has to Change Sides

by Gisèle Pelicot, Natasha Lehrer (Translator), Ruth Diver (Translator)

Por primera vez, su historia en sus propias palabras



Las esperadas memorias de un icono del feminismo actual, la heroína que ha abanderado el combate público para que la vergüenza frente a la violencia sexual cambie de bando



La persona más destacada del año en 2024 en Francia, una de las 100 personas más influyentes del 2025 según Time y la mujer más importante del año según The Independent

El 2 de noviembre de 2024, la vida de una mujer común cambió para siempre y lo que ella hizo a continuación cambió el mundo. Gisèle Pelicot conmocionó a millones de personas con su valentía y dignidad al renunciar a su derecho al anonimato en el juicio contra su marido y los cincuenta hombres acusados de agredirla sexualmente. Su proclama, que la vergüenza cambie de bando, ha visibilizado lo arraigada que sigue estando la violencia sexual en nuestras sociedades, así como el pacto de silencio que protege a sus perpetradores, y ha forjado un nuevo debate sobre el consentimiento en una de sus derivaciones más complejas, la sumisión química.

Hoy, esta mujer de la que tanto se ha hablado, retoma el poder sobre su «Quiero contar mi historia con mis propias palabras. Espero transmitir un mensaje de fortaleza y valentía a todos aquellos que se ven sometidos a terribles adversidades. Que nunca sientan vergüenza y que, con el tiempo, vuelvan a aprender a disfrutar de la vida y encuentren paz».

La crítica ha

«Al igual que Gandhi desafió la violencia racial en la India, Gisèle ha desafiado el patriarcado en todas partes, incluso dentro del matrimonio, y ha hecho avanzar los derechos humanos universales. […] Es un símbolo de fuerza y supervivencia, es una fuente de inspiración para las mujeres y para los hombres, vivamos donde vivamos. Gisèle nos ha mostrado el camino. Ahora debemos seguirla».

Gloria Steinem, Time Magazine («Las 100 personas más influyentes de 2025»)

»Entre la entrada enérgica pero preocupada [al juzgado] y la salida aliviada y globalizada, nos gustaría creer que un viejo mundo misógino y violento ha quedado enterrado. O al menos desenmascarado. […] Quiere cambiar el mundo. Ha conseguido lo que las feministas se esfuerzan por ha desvelado la versión más vulgar de los estragos de la masculinidad moderna. […] lo que usted ha hecho por nosotras no tiene precio».

Hélène Devynck, El País

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Feminism, Biography, True Crime, Biography Memoir

288 pages, Paperback

First published February 17, 2026

About the author

Gisèle Pelicot[a] (French: [ʒizɛl peliko] ⓘ; née Guillou, born 7 December 1952) is a French woman who became a feminist icon in 2024, when she waived her right to anonymity as the victim in a multiple rape case.

Between 2011 and 2020, she had been drugged and raped by her husband Dominique and dozens of other men while she was unconscious, mostly in the couple's home in Mazan. She only became aware of the abuse in 2020, when Dominique was arrested for upskirting women in a local supermarket and a police search of his computer equipment revealed images of her being raped.

The case attracted international media attention and Gisèle's courage and determination to speak out on behalf of all victims of sexual assault won her international support and admiration. She later appeared in the BBC's 2024 100 Women and the Financial Times list of the twenty‑five most influential women of the year. She was appointed a knight of the Legion of Honour on Bastille Day (14 July 2025). In February 2026, she published a co-written memoir.
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(Fr)
Gisèle Pelicot, née Guillou le 7 décembre 1952 à Villingen en Allemagne[1], est une cadre retraitée française connue pour avoir été la victime de l'affaire des viols de Mazan. Elle renonce à l'anonymat dès le début du procès pour les viols collectifs subis de 2011 à 2020. L'affaire a un retentissement international.

Pendant neuf ans, son mari Dominique Pelicot la place régulièrement à son insu dans un sommeil par soumission chimique, pour la violer et la faire violer par d'autres hommes. Les faits, mis au jour en 2020, sont sanctionnés par la cour criminelle d'Avignon au terme d'un procès de près de quatre mois ; les cinquante mis en cause sont reconnus coupables le 19 décembre 2024 (quarante-six de viol aggravé, deux de tentatives de viol et deux d'agression sexuelle, ainsi qu'un cinquante-et-unième pour le viol de son épouse selon la même méthode, en présence de Dominique Pelicot) et condamnés à des peines allant de trois à vingt ans de réclusion criminelle.

Son comportement pendant le procès, et principalement son renoncement à l'anonymat par la levée du huis-clos, confère à Gisèle Pelicot une réputation internationale. Qualifiée par certains d'« icône » du féminisme, elle est louée pour avoir donné une visibilité à ce qui lui est arrivé.

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Source: Wikipedia

Reviews

[Ebby · Rating 5 out of 5]

She deserves a five star for being a phenomenal woman

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

“They did share one thing - a sense of entitlement.”

Shame HAS TO Change Sides. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Dear Gisele, thank you for your courage, your honesty, your humanity.

[aaliyah johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ⭐️ / 5 ⭐️

“And yet the feeling persists: love is not dead. I am not dead. I still have faith in people. Once, that was my greatest weakness. Now it is my strength.”

I honestly don’t think I have words to explain how this book made me feel. As someone who has been SA’d, this book was inspiring. It was so raw and honest, not sparing any of the horrifying details of what Gisele went through.

I spent the entire book in tears, from her sad childhood, to her battling within her self to understand what she’s been through, to the breakdown of her family.. I was in tears and completely captivated.

I’m so glad Gisele decided to share her story with the world.
She deserves better than the cards she was dealt and I hope the remainder of her life is filled with peace & love.

[Samantha Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew this would be a difficult read, but felt I owed it to Madame Pelicot to bear witness to her story told in her own words. It's frank about the horrors she endured at the hands of monsters, their utter cowardice in court, and the difficulty of the trial, during which she was accused of complicity with her abusers. I was brought to tears of anger and grief several times, but also left in awe of her courage.

[Nuno Markl · Rating 5 out of 5]

O livro de Gisèle Pelicot é surpreendentemente positivo em face da monstruosidade que lhe foi perpetrada, o que é uma janela aberta para a sua personalidade optimista e empática. É muito comovente a maneira como tenta compartimentar a sua existência - dissociar-se da mulher drogada até ao ponto da anestesia geral, separar o Dominique monstro perverso do Dominique que amou toda a sua vida. É particularmente doloroso sabê-la a pensar se ele na prisão não terá frio e a preparar agasalhos para lá deixar. Este hino à vida reconhece o horror que atravessou, mas também - e apesar da pressão do mundo, que mesmo com todas as provas ainda ousou agredi-la mais uma vez, sugerindo que ela pudesse estar consciente e a consentir aquela violência - a urgência de virar a vergonha para o lado que tem de a sentir neste momento, a dos violadores mas também dos eternos cúmplices na opinião pública que vomitam que “a culpa também é delas”. Um belo livro, sensível e não sensacionalista, didático para quem tiver o pudor de se calar um bocadinho para ouvir. Ou ler.

[Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

The world tuned into Gisele Pelicot’s nightmare when the trial against her husband of 50 years had began. Her seemingly loving and devoted husband had been r-ping her, while inviting dozens of men to do the same all while Gisele was drugged and unaware.

In A Hymn to Life, Gisele discusses how Gisele initially discovered the truth to her husbands facade, her struggles to coming to terms with her abuse, and how she bravely decided to waive her right to anonymity in the trial so the world could see the faces of the men who assaulted her.

But Gisele is no victim. She tells her story not only to incite courage in other s-xual assault survivors but to turn the tables on the perpetrators, so that they instead are the ones who are to carry the shame and guilt.

Even though A Hymn to Life is a difficult read, it’s such a vital one. Stories like Gisele Pelicot’s shed light on the experience of sexual assault survivors which in turn teaches us as a society how we can better support them as well as how we can prevent future crimes like this from happening.

I listened to the audiobook format of A Hym to Life which is narrated by the actress Emma Thompson. If you pick this one up, I highly recommend this format.

A Hymn to Life: Shame Has To Change Sides by Gisèle Pelicot was published on February 17 so it's available now.
Many thanks to Penguin Random House Audio for the gifted audiobook!

[Traci Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really well done memoir for a public figure. The storytelling is thoughtful and has artistic merit, Pelicot is not just recounting her trauma sequentially -- she weaves in her past and the story of her family. I think the book does a good job delving into the abuses she suffered without being too graphic. By the end the book sort of lost its way becoming more about the events of the trial. Overall though this is a book I appreciated and am glad I read. Should out the translators and Emma Thompson (the narrator) who added to the text that Pelicot has offered us.

[Cortnie]

Gisele Pelicot has more bravery and strength in her little finger than most men could hope to accumulate in a lifetime.

A searingly bold account of one woman's horrific ordeal that has gripped me since the moment I heard about it.

Check trigger warnings on this one for sure.

Emma Thompson narrates the audiobook and did a fantastic job.

[Quetzalli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Giséle es un ejemplo de resiliencia, y le estoy agradecida por compartir su historia.

[Matthias · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eine Autobiographie zu bewerten fällt schwer, denn was bewertet man da eigentlich? Das Leben eines anderen Menschen? Die schriftstellerische Qualität? Kann man die Aufzeichnungen eines Lebens- und Leidenswegs „bewerten“? So grausig die geschilderten Verbrechen schon beim Lesen sind, so bewundernswert erscheinen die Kraft, die Beharrlichkeit und das ausgeprägte Rechtsempfinden von Frau Pelicot. Ob die Scham tatsächlich die Seiten gewechselt hat oder zumindest beginnt, es zu tun, wird sich zeigen. Sollte dem so sein, kann der Anteil, den die Autobiographie Gisèle Pelicots daran hat, gar nicht hoch genug eingeschätzt werden.

Am Ende schreibt sie: „Und das ist wohl auch der Grund, warum ich mich dem Prozess gestellt habe. Die ganze Welt hatte damit gerechnet, mich als Wrack erscheinen zu sehen. Aber das war nicht der Fall. Ich wusste noch genau, warum ich Dominique geliebt hatte, und ich sagte dem Gericht, dass ich vermutlich den Rest meines Lebens damit verbringen würde, wenigstens das eine oder andere aus meinem Erinnerungsschatz zu retten. Man würde mich niemals auf diesen geschundenen Körper reduzieren, meine Seele, sowohl die des jungen Mädchens, das ich einst war, als auch die der Frau, die ich heute bin, ist nicht an ihn gebunden. Eigenartig, diese beiden zusammenzudenken, die eine überlagert die andere, ich weiß, worin sie sich ähneln, weiß um den Lebensdrang, den sie gemeinsam haben, aber ich weiß auch, wodurch sie sich unterscheiden. Ich bin nicht mehr die in Schockstarre verfallene Ehefrau auf der Polizeiwache. Nicht mehr diejenige, die ich war, als ich noch nichts von Dominiques wahrem Gesicht ahnte. Ich komme voran.”

[Derek Driggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely shocking; completely necessary. A brave woman taking control of her life in the aftermath of complete horror. A rejoinder to aphorisms that encourage us to live in our pain and demand retribution before we can heal; also, a complete condemnation of the insipid, ever-present patriarchal abuse of women in our societies. A meditation on memory and identity and what we are allowed to claim of our past when we are forced to change perspective. Also, an incredibly poignant accomplishment of a memoir that is both simple and lyrical. I’ve rarely seen an inner experience so well verbalized.

I find the author to be an incredible human being, and the ghost writer to be a literary gift. This felt like it was ghostwritten by Elena Ferrante. And the translation to English was masterful.

I recommend the audio version of this, as Emma Thompson’s narration is flawless and deserves its own accolades.

Trigger warning goes without saying here; the content is shocking. But even as the most utterly disgusting underbelly of humanity is brought to light through this story, the reader, and everyone who has followed the writer throughout, leave with hope in a better world and newfound belief in the resilience we possess.

[Emely Zoe]

Ich möchte gar nicht groß etwas vorwegnehmen. Kurz und knapp: ein super wichtiges und relevantes Buch einer unheimlich starken und mutigen Frau!

Hier noch ein paar wichtige Textstellen:

Dennoch hat die Liebe mich nie verlassen. Sie ist nicht gestorben. Ich bin nicht gestorben. Ich bin immer noch in der Lage, anderen zu vertrauen. Das war einst meine große Schwäche, heute ist es meine Stärke. Letztendlich mein Sieg. - Seite 188

Die Mauer, die diese Männer Schulter an Schulter vor mir bilden würden. Wäre das für sie nicht ein Geschenk? Würde die verschlossenen Saaltür nicht vielmehr ihrem Schutz dienen als meinem? Niemand würde erfahren, was sie mir angetan hatten. - Seite 197

[Αθηνά Δ. Κάππα · Rating 5 out of 5]

Έγραψα και έσβησα πολλές γραμμές στην προσπάθειά μου να μιλήσω για αυτό το βιβλίο. Ίσως γιατί δεν μπορώ να βρω τα λόγια για τις φρικαλεότητες που έζησε η Gisèle Pelicot.

«Όλα γίνονταν κομμάτια. Τα αντικείμενα. Η ιστορία μας. Εμείς. Εγώ, λίγο περισσότερο κάθε στιγμή που περνούσε».

Η μαρτυρία της με συγκλόνισε. Χρειάστηκε πολλές φορές να διακόψω την ανάγνωση για να συνεχίσω ξανά. Και μέσα από τον πόνο της, θαύμασα τη δύναμή της.

Πρόκειται για μια γυναίκα-σύμβολο φεμινισμού.

Παραιτήθηκε από το δικαίωμα στην ανωνυμία και ανάγκασε το δικαστικό σύστημα και την κοινωνία να αντιμετωπίσουν, με τεκμήρια, την πραγματική έκταση της κακοποίησης και όχι να τη θεωρήσουν ένα μεμονωμένο περιστατικό.

Το «στίγμα» της ντροπής μετατοπίστηκε από το θύμα στον θύτη, όπως άλλωστε πρέπει, προκαλώντας ουσιαστικές νομοθετικές και κοινωνικές συζητήσεις γύρω από την έννοια της συναίνεσης και της ευθύνης.

Διάβασα το βιβλίο της μέσα σε μία μέρα, ίσως γιατί δεν θα άντεχα να παρατείνω την ανάγνωση περισσότερο. Στις λ��ξεις της βρήκα θυμό, αλήθεια και φως. Βρήκα μια υπενθύμιση πως η επιβίωση μπορεί να γίνει πράξη αντίστασης.

Θα κλείσω με την τελευταία φράση της Pelicot: «Για να νικήσω το κενό, χρειάζομαι την αγάπη».

[inciminci · Rating 5 out of 5]

She's amazing.

[Izzy · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️

The amount of self reflection this book took to write is insane . I have a deep appreciation for Gisele and the courage it took to share her story like this for the world to see. A woman who realized she had been silent too many times in her life decided to fully speak out and encourage others to do the same.

[Belinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

100 stars. What an amazing woman and family.

[Jonetta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life as Gisèle Pelicot once knew it changed in November 2020 when she received a call from the Avignon police, asking her to come to the station where her husband had been arrested for upskirting (taking photos or videos up women’s skirts). They discovered years of videos and photos on his laptop of her being raped by more than 70 men over the last ten years. Dominique Pelicot, the father of their three children, had been secretly drugging and raping her, along with strangers he’d invited to join in. As the investigation concluded and the prosecution prepared for trial in 2024, Gisèle made the shocking decision to allow the process to be public. This is her extraordinary story.

I was struck by how deeply personal, raw and unapologetic Gisèle is as she shares who she was before that fateful day and how she evolved to who she is today. She fought to do it her way, even when it was perplexing to those close to her. Gisèle accepts that many consider her a hero but doesn’t exactly own that mantle. Her decision to go public was thoughtful and a move to keep her power.

Emma Thompson brilliantly narrates Gisèle’s story, making me feel like it was the author’s voice. It felt personal.

I came away feeling inspired. Yes, Gisèle was brutally assaulted but she’s no victim. Managing through the typical backlash (how could she not have known…she must have been complicit…yada, yada,yada) and embracing all the women and journalists who showed up on the courtroom steps to give her encouragement through the trial, she refused to be shamed and ashamed. Yes, shame has to change sides. This is a must read story for everyone, not just women.

[Darina · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Not all men", but 52 men raping a drugged woman for 10 years.

I listened. It was like being punched.
I had to squeeze past them during breaks in the proceedings. I heard them talking, not even bothering to lower their voices, naturally buoyed by male camaraderie. I saw them high-fiving each other, going to the café across the street at lunchtime, chatting at the bar, buying rounds of beer, laughing. They bonded with each other simply because they were convinced they had done nothing wrong. And yet they didn't resemble one another: some were articulate, others could barely string a sentence together in the witness box; there were old men, bald men, men with paunches, men who were young and athletic; one was constantly chewing gum; another had brought along some policeman friends for support. But they did share one thing: a sense of entitlement.
An attitude of complete indifference to whatever anyone said or thought, because power had always been on their side.

I wanted to leave. To go home. For the trial to continue without me. So many times I was tempted to go back to my island. But there were all those messages I kept receiving, that crowd, the women waiting for me outside the courtroom whom I could not disappoint. Just as I could not concede a victory to the rapists and their defenders.

'What is rape?" the judge asked him.
'It's when someone is tied up and forced to have sex, he said. 'But I didn't use any violence.'
His answer was steeped in grotesque male entitlement.
The year that had gone by since the first trial had not forced him to reflect on what had happened, just as it had not stifled the sniggers and comments that can still be heard in the outside world; even among supposedly thoughtful people, apparently there are still those who don't entirely believe me. We should ask all these idiots with their millennia-old misogyny the question that the judge enunciated slowly and clearly, the way one would to a child:
"Did she act in the way that a woman does when she agrees to it?'
'No, the defendant conceded.

She is an international treasure. Protect & respect Gisèle Pelicot at all costs.

[Cecily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why?
I had no desire to know more about this horrific case than I picked up from the news. But I flicked through this at the library and was captivated by the writing. Gisèle does not shy away from her husband’s crimes, but she eschews graphic details (as does my review). It’s an introspective, psychological look at memory, evil, and the differing consequences for the whole family.
“It happened to me, but it wasn’t me.”

Gisèle is consistently determined to find and cherish a few happy and unadulterated memories, to understand what happened and why, and to challenge sexist rape culture. She doesn’t hate men.

“My entire life had fallen apart, but I was [medically] fine”
She knows what was done to her, but has no memory of it.

Her greatest sadness is the estrangement from her daughter and thus grandchildren.


Image: Île de Ré, where Gisèle found peace on long, solo beach walks (Source)

Strands
Chapter 1 starts as a normal day of retirement in rural France - except they have an appointment at the police station about Dominique’s upskirting charge. They are taken to separate rooms and a male police officer breaks the news of Dominique’s horrific crimes to Gisèle, with photos. Chapter 2 goes back 50 years, to their first meeting, age 18, falling almost instantly in love.

The two timelines alternate, each going forward chronologically. It’s a very effective way to tell the story clearly, and to keep a regular dose of happy moments.

This felt firmly in Gisèle’s voice (not that I have any real way to know), but some credit goes to Judith Perrignon who helped her write it, and the translators, Natasha Lehrer and Ruth Diver.

Childhood
Gisèle’s life is marked by the death of mother, when she was only nine. She loved her father and brother, acquired an unkind step-mother, but enjoyed summers with her aunt in the countryside:
“Chateaux dotted around the landscape, the sometimes sumptuous, sometimes crumbling old buildings… seemed to open doors on other centuries, other worlds.”
She left home as soon as she could, determined to be independent. Initially she worked as a secretary, but climbed the corporate ladder, being an early adopter of computers.

Dominique was a lonely child, surrounded by violent men. As an adult, he had a chequered job history as an electrician and (real) estate agent, with gaps of unemployment. He was bad with money and often in debt.

Both were determined to give their children the kind of family life they had not had, and Gisèle believed they succeeded. The bailiffs came at least once. She had a brief affair. He did too. They reconciled. The children were always loved and cherished. He sometimes asked her do things that she refused to do. He didn’t force her - though he did tease her for being a prude. He was only violent once, and that was when he thought she was going to leave him. With hindsight, she remembers a couple of times that drinks looked or tasted odd.

Processing the horror
When Gisèle is told what was done to her, she first worries about how to tell her three adult children, especially her daughter, Caroline. The different ways mother and daughter react is at the heart of this narrative.

Gisèle wants to understand Dominique and process her memories- and she wants to do so alone. Caroline smashes crockery, destroys photographs, and wants her mother’s embrace.

Further estrangement arises from two photos of adult Caroline, asleep in underwear. She is convinced this means her father drug-raped her too, but Gisèle, while shocked by the incestuous gaze, takes comfort in the fact they fall short of proof of rape, and hopes it didn’t happen. Caroline feels betrayed and unsupported in her trauma.

Gisèle is also relieved to realise her decade of blackouts and memory lapses are not due to a brain tumour.

Victimhood
Gisèle does not want to be seen as a victim or a hero, but she suffered because a magistrate, media, lawyers, a psychiatrist, public opinion, and some of her family, didn’t think she reacted the “right” way. She was neither broken enough nor angry enough. She didn’t want to destroy everything. She sent warm clothes to Dominique in prison. Some also doubt that she didn’t know.

She chose to go public at the last minute, partly so her rapists were known, and was buoyed by supportive women outside court, as well as many who wrote to her. She is clear that the story is not just hers: it’s for women everywhere, including the mothers and wives of her rapists, and especially her family.

Court
Four years later, it comes to court:
“The autopsy of our relationship.”
Dominique pleads guilty to all crimes relating to her. But there’s a “pack” of fifty rapists facing her:
“The accused men stared at me defiantly. They would all be pleading not guilty.”
They are all ages and levels of education. The only thing they have in common is their sense of entitlement. It takes three months and is brutal - but she spares the reader graphic details.

The 51 rapists who were charged were all convicted (17 appealed, but failed to overturn their convictions). Dominique will die in prison. But around 30 more could not be identified from the photos and videos. And there’s an unsolved rape and murder from 1999 in which Dominique is chief suspect.

Not quite a happy ending. Not really an ending. But Gisèle is a remarkable woman and I am glad she has found love with a new man. I hope Caroline finds closure and can be reconciled with her mother.

[Zeynep T.]

"Oysaki hiç de birbirlerine benzemi­yorlardı; aralarında kendini ifade etmeyi bilenler de vardı, kürsüde iki mantıklı cümleyi bir araya getiremeyenler de; yaşlılar, keller ve göbekliler ve kas yığını gençler vardı; biri sürekli sakız çiğniyordu, bir diğeri destek olsun diye polis arkadaşlarını getir­mişti ama hepsinin ortak bir yanı vardı: takındıkları o tavırlar. Söylenebilecek ve düşünülebilecek her şeye karşı o kayıtsız du­ruş; değil mi ki güç, ezelden beri onların tarafındaydı?"

Çevirmen Ebru Erbaş'ın, editör Saadet Özen'in ve düzeltmen Yılmaz Akan'ın emeklerine sağlık.

[Jessica Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Do not read this book without following it up with her daughter, Caroline Darian’s. It’s put this completely in a new light and I feel less empathy for Gisele. There are many things I cannot accept here. There are no perfect victims and she absolutely deserved NOTHING that was done to her. She did however ignore several flaming red flags about this man and his family. I’m particularly disturbed that she never intervened in the life of “Nicole”, an intellectually disabled foster child everyone suspected her abhorrent father in law abused. Also that she accompanied her piece of shit husband to the police station even knowing he upskirted women? That man would’ve been out on his ear in my world. I just cannot comprehend so much of this disgusting situation. It’s extremely complex. Read Caroline’s book and see how sanitised and empathetic this version of events are in comparison to hers. A lot of sickening detail is left out here. This man was a completely pathetic, cruel, manipulative and pitiful loser. I feel sick and angry.

[Michelle Cuéllar]

No suelo calificar libros donde se encuentran presentas las memorias de alguien más pero definitivamente es un libro doloroso, incomodo. Gisèle, que nos cuenta el antes y después de su vida posterior a la revelación del abus0 que vivía a manos de su esposo, nos deja mirar con sensibilidad todo lo que ella sintió.

Siempre voy a recordar esta preciosa frase con la que ella decide finalizar su relato:

"Para luchar contra el vació, necesito amar."

Y el amor, que se ve de diferentes formas, es lo que necesitamos todos para avanzar.

[Charlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 STARS

I admire Gisèle Pelicot's strength and I was keen on hearing about her experiences in her own words after seeing her image on television so many times while the trial was on. This is her story and her reckoning with her ex-husband - a struggle between not wanting to let the good memories go and facing the other side of the man she spent the majority of her life with.

This is so deeply personal and Gisèle Pelicot excels at making her readers understand how torn she was and is. What I find remarkable about this book is how it exudes resilience and resolve while also confronting us all with questions and more questions that cannot have a rational answer.

This book is about Gisèle Pelicot's childhood, her family, her meeting Dominique Pelicot who would become her husband and her torturer. It's about so much more than that, about lives falling apart, about familial ties and relationship. And it's about strength, about mental fortitude, about not giving up, not resigning, about not losing hope. In the end, this truly is a hymn to life just as the title promises and I applaud Gisèle Pelicot for having written it. A must read.

[Mieke]

Zulke persoonlijke non-fictie geef ik nooit sterren, want dat voelt niet goed, maar deze zou in heel hoge sterregionen eindigen als ik dat wel zou doen.

Wat een ontluisterend, ontwapenend en ongekend krachtig boek. Ik was bang dat dit luisteren te veel als voyeurisme zou voelen, maar dat was - met name omdat Gisele Pelicot het zelf optekent - gelukkig niet het geval. Ik ben diep onder de indruk van hoe zij is omgegaan met het kwade leed dat haar is aangedaan en hoe ze ervoor heeft gekozen dit hele proces openbaar aan te gaan. De passages over hoe ze tot die keuze is gekomen vond ik naast indrukwekkend ook ontroerend. Het is geen makkelijk boek om tot je te nemen, want sinds haar zaak de media bereikte zit het al onder m’n huid, maar het is het absoluut waard.

Ik vond het bijzonder hoe ze zich verhoudt tot (de herinneringen aan) haar huwelijk nadat alles aan het licht is gekomen. Ook hoe haar eigen verwerking zich verhoudt tot de verwerking die haar kinderen doormaken.

Een ontzettend bijzonder boek van een indrukwekkende vrouw. Laat die schaamte absoluut van kant wisselen.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an devastating story of one woman’s abuse and betrayal by her own husband and her fight for justice. I had only heard a little about Gisele Pelicots story and I was horrified by the actual degrading sexual abuse she was subjected to in her own home by her own husband and others. The fact that the symptoms of the drugging and raped actually lead her to believe that she was developing an illness was heartbreaking. When discovering the truth of the shocking abuse that occurred in her marriage she bravely documents her search for justice whilst recounting her recollection of her marriage of a monster who was hiding in plain sight. Gisele Pelicots strength is something else which shines through the audiobook that is wonderfully narrated by Emma Thompson.

[Luca Nikkel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wat een veerkracht heeft deze vrouw. Bijzonder knap hoe ze zich niet uit het veld laat slaan ongeacht de vreselijke dingen die haar zijn aangedaan. Wat een verhaal.

[Alison]

I don’t know what compelled me to listen to this audiobook. A GR friend wrote a very powerful and positive review, and I think that’s what did it. But I never read books in this genre, I’ve never read anything in my entire life that had a ghostwriter. No celebrity autobiographies, hardly any memoirs or biographies (although more than none). And yet I chose this. I think really I was, like many women, just blown away by Pelicot’s courage and her self-assurance. What accounts for such bravery? Such confidence? This is a book about a woman who seems to really truly believe what one would wish all victims of sexual violence would believe: it’s not their fault, it tells you nothing about them, it’s not the apotheosis of their stories, their lives. Without diminishing how terrible a crime was committed against them, Pelicot seems to argue, one must not let it define them. Pelicot is an extraordinarily strong person who continually insists on making her own choices and directing her own story, even when confronted with unimaginably horrific crimes committed on and against her person.

[Agnese Rosengren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Questo libro mi ha messo i brividi e, al contempo, mi ha anche emozionata tantissimo.
Mi ha messo i brividi perché ciò che è successo è atroce e orrendo, un supplizio che nessuno dovrebbe mai provare in tutta la vita; d'altra parte, mi ha emozionata perché la voce di Gisèle è arrivata forte e chiara, così come tutta la sua dignità e il suo importante messaggio, perché è vero, non è la vittima che deve provare vergogna, bensì il carnefice.
E chi subisce una violenza non ha nulla da recriminarsi: la colpa è solo e soltanto di chi fa del male e ancora peggio di chi ti fa del male dicendo che invece ti ama e ti vuole bene.
È uno di quei libri che andrebbero letti almeno una volta nella vita e trovo sinceramente assurdo che ci possano essere valutazioni inferiori a cinque stelle, ma questo è solo un mio parere personale.

[Clara]

Merci Gisèle. 🖤

[Mark Robison · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well-done, personal book that delivers what it needs to from this French woman, now in her 70s, who was gang raped at least 200 times over the course of 10 years after being drugged unconscious by her longtime husband.

I couldn't help but choke up — even though I knew the story — when she described the throngs of women supporters who started showing up at the trial of her husband and the 51 men accused (and later convicted) of raping her.

I can’t remember the day I first heard the applause as I walked into the Palais de Justice. I realised that the people around me, mostly women, were forming a guard of honour, something I had never imagined or expected. I could feel the warmth of their bodies, their emotion and vulnerability melding with mine. ...

more important than anything, there was that crowd of women. Morning, noon and night, they queued up in the hope of getting a seat in the overflow room that had been opened to the public. At the end of the day they hung around outside the court building, unwilling to go home, where no doubt plenty of obligations awaited them – food shopping, children maybe, all the things that mean we are constantly run off our feet. But now they seemed in no hurry to return to their daily lives. The Palais de Justice in Avignon was suddenly at the epicentre of women’s suffering.

The book is told in alternating sections of pertinent past memories with the current day, starting when she learns of accusations against her husband for taking upskirt photos at the grocery store.

This was especially poignant because Giselle is a mother and grandmother used to taking care of others, and now she needed to care for herself while feeling the pull of caring for her family who was also devastated by the news, even her monstrous husband, whom she had decades of loving memories with.

Her strength and basic humanity shines through. And the way men justify and even brag about assaulting women comes through, too. Her decision to decline to keep the trial behind closed doors was amazingly brave. Younger women still in the working world and with small children would find such a choice impossible. But Giselle had no reputation to protect anymore — and she'd fallen in love again and had a good support system (one of the few new things learned in the book).

"Shame has to change sides." The words I’d first heard over a decade ago, a slogan supporting women who had survived rape and domestic violence, came into my head like a refrain, as if tiny blades were honing my thoughts. Everyone needs to see the faces of the fifty-one rapists. They should be the ones to hang their heads in shame, not me. ...

Today, looking back on the moment I made the decision, I am aware that had I been twenty years younger, I probably wouldn’t have dared request that the case be heard in open court. I would have been too afraid of the looks: those damn looks that women of my generation have always had to contend with; those damn looks that make you waver in the morning between a dress and trousers, that follow you or ignore you, flatter you or embarrass you; those damn looks that seem to tell you who you are or what you’re worth, only to forsake you as you age. It was exactly that nerve Dominique pressed when he told me I should be glad my husband still desired me whenever he photographed me coming out of the bathroom. I was, no doubt, still susceptible to it. It’s foolish, but that’s how we were – freer, more autonomous women, yet still afraid of being abandoned, still longing to be saved. Maybe the shame lifts once you hit seventy and no one looks at you any more. I don’t know. I wasn’t afraid of my wrinkles or my body.

She mentions leaving the courtroom one day and hearing a young woman of about 25 whispering that she could never be so brave. She stops and wipes away the woman's tears.

It was that young woman – her terror, her youth – I was thinking of when I addressed the court midway through the trial. I had prepared some notes, in which I had jotted down words that I was using for the first time in my life: ‘Every day people thank me for my courage. I want to tell them this is not courage, but a deep urge and determination to change our patriarchal, sexist society.’

All in all, even if there's not much new, this is a strong book by and about a strong woman. I am grateful to hear her story in her own words. They contrast a bit with her "high-strung" (as Giselle calls her) daughter's book that's basically a diary of the weeks after learning her father not only got dozens of strangers off the internet to come rape her mother, intentionally without condoms (one of whom was HIV positive), but that he'd taken rape-y photos of the daughter, appearing drugged and passed out.

The book shows how this could happen to someone without her knowing or even suspecting what was happening. That's what's so troubling about it. It's also troubling how easy it was to find men of all ages willing to join in, even swapping tips on how not to give her too much medication so she accidentally dies.

The book's main title is a stretch. I'm sure Giselle wanted it — maintaining faith in life and love helped her through. "Shame Must Change Sides" (not "has to change sides") might've been more accurate, more powerful main title with "A Hymn to Life" as the subtitle. Just sayin'.

Emma Thompson's narration of the audio version is perfection.

* See also "I'll Never Call Him Dad Again: Turning Our Family Trauma of Sexual Assault and Chemical Submission into a Collective Fight" by Caroline Darian. My rating: 3 stars